Original subtitles

Previously on "Stumptown"...

Grey: Ansel likes cars. He wants to drive.

Maybe he's sick of having people drive him around all the time.

Tookie: What's up?

Tookie, Grey left me in charge. I need your help.

Tookie: The meal I'm about to prepare just for you.

Tacos chicharon.

"The mole was delicious and well-prepared."

Chaz: I'm in this crew. We steal cars.

We didn't know that the van had drugs in it.

Lee: Chaz's attorney is here. He posted bail.

Thank you, Detective.

See you in court, Dad.

[ Classical version of "I Melt with You" plays ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

♪♪

♪♪

Officiant: Please rise.

♪♪

Gah! Oof!

[ Grunts ]

♪♪

[ Grunts ] Aah!

♪♪

Grab her, grab her!

Hey! Aah!

Zack and Jenna have chosen to write their own vows.

Before you share them, though,

I need to confirm your intentions here today.

Do you, Jenna, agree to take this man --

[ Door bursts open ] Dex: Stop! Wait!

Stop! Don't do it! [ Spectators gasp, music stops ]

[ Panting ]

♪♪

Tookie: Rip it off!

Okay.

Ta-da! Ta-da!

Say hello to your new kitchen!

Oh, I have a kitchen -- without wheels.

You have a room

that does a cruel impersonation of a kitchen.

It's a toy piano.

This is a Viennese fortepiano,

and I will be your Mozart.

The grease trap smells funky.

The maestro's busy, Victor!

I know what you're thinking.

"Tookie, the streets need you."

[ Laughs ] Oh, is that what I'm thinking?

That's why this is the perfect solution.

I'm still mobile,

I'm still the king of the street food scene.

But your bar can serve up legit cuisine for once.

Okay.

I just need to serve food

that's salty enough to keep people drinking, Maestro.

That's it.

You hate it?

♪♪

No, I don't hate it, Ansel.

It's just -- it's a surprise, is all.

♪♪

Alright. Let's do this.

Why don't we try it out for a week and see what happens?

[ Laughing ] Yes! Victor, start up the grill!

Tacos for my new partner.

I didn't say partner. We're not partners.

[ Groans ] [ Laughs ]

[ Upbeat music plays ]

Hey. You could've warned me.

[ Chuckles ] What? Come on.

I mean, i-it's a no-brainer.

Now I get free tacos with my free beer.

Hey, Dex, how 'bout if I redecorated your house

when you weren't home?

Could you please?

I'm so sick of my parents' old furniture.

Okay, what if I traded in your car?

How dare you.

That Mustang is the soul of this whole operation.

I know, and this is my bar.

It's the only thing I've ever had that's really mine.

[ Telephone rings ]

[ Receiver clicks ]

Hello. Bad Alibi.

Yeah, she's, uh -- she's right here.

For me?

For you. Thank you.

♪♪

Stumptown Investigations. You got Dex.

Uh, yeah, I'm free today.

Um, why don't you come down to the Bad Alibi?

It's in -- Fire! Fire!!

You said fire?!

Fire! North --

♪♪

[ Air hissing ] I'm -- I'm sorry. What?

iAyuda!

♪♪

iAyuda!

Actually, I'll come to you.

iAyuda!

[ Rock music plays ]

[ Brakes squeal, engine clunks ]

These are beautiful, but I really don't care

what the guests expect the cake to look like, Claire.

I mean, this bakery makes a difference, okay?

They -- They give formerly incarcerated people

culinary experience.

They give them a chance to get back on their feet.

[ Door opens ] It's your wedding day, Jenna.

If you want a convict cake, I will get you a convict cake. [ Door closes ]

Thank you.

Hi. Are you from the bakery?

Uh, Dex Parios, private --

Security consultant.

Yes.

Okay.

That seems a little over the top, Claire,

even for you.

[ Chuckles ] Sorry. She's always trying to protect me.

Emphasis on the trying.

You asked me to plan your big day. Let me handle it.

I really am very grateful. Ohh.

It's gonna be a perfect day. I promise.

Okay. Well, um, it's nice to meet you.

Mm-hmm. Congratulations.

Thank you. [ Chuckles ]

Hi. Hello.

Claire Chesterfield.

Thanks so much for driving out.

I love starting a case with a lie.

No, uh, red flags there. [ Chuckles ]

Ohh. My sister.

She is amazing.

Mm.

An "adopt every animal at the shelter" type.

Oh. Sounds like my brother.

Then you know how vulnerable that makes her.

She's rushing to the altar

because her fiancé needs a green card.

Oh. Well, that's not great.

Yeah. It's my fault.

I shouldn't have let us drift apart.

We're from St. Louis, but Jenna moved out here

a few years back to get her master's,

and then she calls me out of the blue

and says she's getting married.

A lot of marriages are trial runs.

You don't understand.

She won't ask for a prenup.

The company board took a vote, and they decided that

if she goes through with the marriage,

she loses the shares my parents left her.

Oh.

She walks away from $125 million.

[ Spits ] Oh.

Sorry. That's okay.

So, the -- the sod business has done well for you all.

I won't let my sister ruin her life,

not without knowing who she's throwing it all away for.

So you want me to look into the groom.

Someone has to.

Jenna's too sweet to look closely,

and she doesn't even know his given name.

I'm sorry?

Yeah, he fancies himself some sort of an artist,

uses a pseudonym -- Zack Knight.

What kind of artist?

♪ See twin eagle birds up in the tree ♪ [ Tattoo needle buzzing ]

♪ One for you, and there's one for me ♪

♪ When we thought we might be losing our minds ♪

[ Buzzing stops ] [ Irish accent ] And we're done.

♪ We saw the signs ♪

So, no hot tubs for a week.

Sleep on your belly for a month.

And if it goes the bad kind of crusty, call me.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Telephone rings ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Cellphone beeps ] Yeah.

Dex: Zack Knight?

I'm your 4:00.

Password?

Irezumi?

Am I saying that right?

[ Buzzer ]

Hey. Hey.

Appointments and passwords.

You are a, uh, tricky man to see, Mr. Knight.

Zack. Dex.

Nice to meet you. You, too.

I could give you the spiel --

customer privacy, the sanctity of solitude.

Honestly, speakeasy vibe lets me charge more.

Ah. Don't forget to keep that covered up.

[ Buzzer, door opens ]

What can I do for you?

Uh, I'm thinking about getting a tattoo.

Excellent. Mm-hmm.

Otherwise, this would be awkward.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yes, it would. [ Chuckles ]

What kind?

Uh, a blackbird perched, you know,

sort of right here on my shoulder.

Okay.

Why a blackbird?

I'll answer that question if you answer one of mine first.

[ Chuckles ]

That's a bold new paradigm in customer relations.

Oh. Go on, then.

Zack Knight -- is that your real name?

♪ You might never find ♪

How did you s-say you found me, again?

A friend of a friend.

Mm.

Designs start at two grand.

Guess the whole speakeasy vibe is really working for you.

Yeah.

Price is a problem for you?

No, not if I get what I pay for.

♪ Don't nobody wanna be lonely ♪

That your helmet? Yeah. It is.

Why a blackbird?

♪ Everybody oughta be loved sometime ♪

You know, I actually have this thing

that I need to go and do now.

But, um, are you around tomorrow?

Yeah, I am.

But if you walk out that door, you won't come back.

Uh, maybe I'll surprise you.

Bye.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Camera clicks ]

Needs more paprika. [ Jazz music plays ]

No. No. No-no, no, no.

Uh, just a dash more. No. A dash?

No. I will concede a pinch, alright? But a dash? No.

Every Sunday with this, Mom?

Relinquish the paprika, Lionel.

Hey, he's home --

♪♪

Give me that.

There you go. Just stir that up.

Yeah, it's ruined now.

Just taste it.

♪♪

You're welcome.

♪♪

So, um... [ Clears throat ]

...when are we gonna discuss your conflict of interest?

With paprika?

No, with representing a suspect that I arrested.

Suspect you arrested.

Sweetheart, how did we end up with this son?

Oh, neither of you want me to answer that question.

[ Both chuckle ]

♪♪

Listen, uh... [ Clears throat ]

I worked on that case for weeks, Dad.

It's my CI. It's my arrest, alright?

I took 20 kilos of heroin off the street.

It's a blatant conflict for you to represent Chaz.

An associate is gonna argue the case.

With you puppeteering from the sidelines.

Charles' father is a friend from the club, Miles.

He asked for my help.

So it's okay for you to take on the rich punk

but leave his boys behind?

Funny -- you didn't seem to mind so much

when I did that for you.

I was 17 years old. [ Chuckles ]

You were a punk kid who thought he was invincible.

Yeah, but there's a difference between selling a little weed

and stealing cars and dealing heroin, and you know that.

Alright.

This is new for all of us,

the two of you opposing each other on a case.

Dad's the one who chose --

Do not let this ruin family brunch.

Now, Mama hungry.

Let's eat. Alright.

Here you go. My mother's secret recipe.

[ Extreme's "Me Llama" plays ]

There you go.

♪ Cuando me toca ♪

[ Door opens ] Buen provecho.

[ Laughs ] What's...

It's been like this all afternoon.

We're the most popular thing to hit Portland since legalization.

Ah, I love a story with a happy ending.

No, Dex, a happy beginning.

Hey, Dex, why don't you ask me

how many free waters I poured today?

Ooh. Guessing a lot.

We've gone through enough glasses

I'm gonna have to hire a second dishwasher.

This was a terrible idea.

Well, you said you'd give it a week, right?

[ Laptop chimes ] Yeah.

Ooh, I got Zack Knight's real name.

It's Scott Thompson. Boring.

I can see why he changed it.

Nobody's gonna pay two grand to have a soccer dad ink them.

Okay, what are you up to, Scotty?

Good talk. [ Taps bar ]

Sorry.

[ Laptop beeps ]

♪♪

Well, that's one reason to stop a wedding.

Yeah, I remember this case -- Dahlia Montgomery,

killed in a hit-and-run just over a year ago.

Well, the mother was convinced that the fiancé did it,

this guy named Scott Thompson.

As a tattoo artist, he's known as Zack Knight.

Yeah, we -- we brought him in, put him through the wringer,

but the treads on the scene matched a Mercedes G-Wagen,

and Scott Thompson rides a motorcycle.

Yeah, but he could've hired someone.

If he did, he covered his tracks.

Did you like him for it?

He had motive, and, you know, Dahlia's family was from money,

and, according to the mother, he was furious

after she rejected his proposals.

Well, he has a type. His new fiancée's loaded, as well.

Look, the -- the truth is, 9 times out of 10,

hit-and-runs are done by a total stranger.

That's why they're the toughest cases to close.

Kasra: Detective Hoffman.

DDA Valerie Kasra, Dex Parios.

Dex is an investigator and friend of the department.

Yes, I've seen your name on my evidence list.

You do very good work.

Got a card?

Oh. Yes, I do.

[ Chuckles ]

Um -- Oh. Uh... [ Coins jingle ]

Sorry. Um... That's alright.

Yeah. [ Chuckles ]

Ah.

Uh, I just -- I -- This is my only one.

You can take a...picture.

Uh...

Uh, you know what? Take this.

That's a coaster.

Yeah, from a bar that I use as my office.

Okay. Thank you.

See you.

So, judge ruled against us on conflict of interest.

Your father's firm can represent Chaz,

so long as he's not the one speaking in court.

He's still gonna be the one calling the shots.

Oh, I'm aware.

This is not my first go against your father.

So we better be ready for him.

Alright. Let me run you through the case.

Oh, and we should probably get ahead on juicing limes.

My tacos are for sure upping the margarita orders.

We don't need limes.

No. Tell me you do not serve that sugar swill.

The people deserve better.

Partner. We got to up your margarita game.

Ansel, go pick us up 6 pounds of limes.

No, Ansel, stay here. Prep the bar like you always do.

The mix does taste bad.

Well, that's 'cause it's cheap.

But this is a beer and whiskey bar, okay?

And I've learned, as the owner,

if you have too many fresh ingredients, they end up spoiling.

I'm all for cutting costs, but let's not compromise taste.

Fill the Belvedere with Tito's and the Grey Goose with Stoli.

Well, that's illegal. Right up your alley, Stripes.

Look, we need a company brainstorming sesh.

When this mind starts... ticking,

you never know what gems will come from it.

Great. Let's do it a little bit later. I got some work to do.

What's his usual timing on later?

5 minutes? 20? An hour?

I'll give him an hour.

You came back.

Yeah, surprised? Happily.

Most people who walk out lose their nerve.

Well, I almost did.

I've never been able to pull a trigger on a tattoo,

which is weird because I'm a Marine.

That is weird.

Ever feel like you missed your window,

where something wouldn't be a big deal at first

and as time goes by, the more it feels like a big deal?

Yeah. [ Chuckles ]

My ma gave me a watch once,

and I-I broke it within a week.

I should've just told her right away.

Now I have to keep making up elaborate excuses

as to why I'm never wearing it.

[ Chuckles ] Yeah, exactly.

Mm. [ Clears throat ]

Why don't I sketch up this blackbird,

see if it matches what's in your imagination?

Sure. Okay.

That sounds great. Thanks.

So, when did you serve?

Uh, 12 years ago.

What'd you do?

Intelligence mostly, interrogations.

It's not what people think it is.

Do your job,

you're -- you're never looking for answers.

You're -- You're looking for confirmation.

Yeah? Yeah.

Personally, I-I like to get people calm,

have them underestimate me, and then surprise them.

It's hard for people to lie when they're on the spot.

For instance, did you kill Dahlia Montgomery?

[ Book slams ] What is this?

Dahlia came from money.

Marrying her would've set you up nicely.

But Dahlia refused to marry you.

Isn't that right?

I don't know what your game is, but I'm not playing.

Did you kill her, Scott?

Did you?

Yeah.

Yeah, I...

I did.

♪♪

We had a fight about curtains.

[ Sighs ]

Dahlia wanted these expensive designer ones,

and I just thought it was to impress her mom, you know?

And it just spiraled.

One minute, we're talking about curtains,

and then she's screaming at me, and then I just --

I said all these terrible things about her family --

about wealth, how it can ruin people.

She saw red, said she needed space, and...

I should have never let her get in the car.

If she hadn't been on the road that night...

♪♪

I'm the reason that Dahlia's dead.

♪♪

Moved on pretty fast, yeah?

[ Bottle thuds ] Didn't mean to.

Jenna and I met when we were both vulnerable.

Just happened.

I wanted to take it slow.

Your green card.

I was willing to move back to Dublin, try long distance,

but Jenna wanted to start our lives together.

So she proposed.

I said yes.

Maybe I shouldn't have.

♪♪

Um...

I work for Jenna's family.

♪♪

They wanted to know who she was marrying.

You gonna tell them?

That you blame yourself for a...

tragic accident?

I put her on the road.

[ Sighs ]

Got another glass?

Let me just say that our client, Charles,

is the true victim in this case.

And we will prove that the Portland Police Bureau

had a vendetta against this young man.

Oh, here we go.

And when they failed to garner the evidence,

they falsified it.

They manipulated witnesses.

The police broke the law here, ladies and gentlemen,

not this young man.

Ugh. He's grandstanding.

None of this will hold up in court.

Yeah, it doesn't have to.

He's trying the case in the media.

Straight out of the Lionel Hoffman playbook.

I thought my dad was a jackass.

[ Sighs ]

Well...[ Chuckles ] So, tell me.

Why a blackbird?

Oh, no.

I wasn't -- I wasn't being serious.

That was a part of my...very clever ruse.

But you could've said anything, and you said a blackbird.

Uh, okay, um...

[ Chuckles softly ]

I got thrown out of a punk show, and he caught me.

He was very funny.

He would, um...

He would meet a stranger, cold,

and they would be laughing hysterically within minutes,

like deep "known you my whole life" belly laughs.

[ Chuckles ]

Everyone wanted to be Benjamin Blackbird's friend.

But you got him.

Yeah, I did.

I did.

Now he's gone.

Yeah.

♪♪

I could've stopped it.

♪♪

[ Sighs, chuckles ]

Uh...

[ Voice breaking ] I had a ch--

There was a choice that I...

♪♪

[ Crying ] I had a chance to stop it, you know?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[ Breathes deeply ]

[ Clears throat ]

♪♪

A dahlia.

Mm-hmm. It's nice.

I think you should get a tattoo.

It's cathartic -- the pain.

It's cleansing.

Yeah, and then you're walking around

with the memory of a corpse

etched on your body, I mean, forever.

It's gonna be there no matter if you can see it or not.

Right?

♪♪

[ Inhales sharply ] How do you do it?

Do what?

Move on, try -- to try again.

How do you d-- How do you do that?

[ Sighs ]

It helps to meet somebody who -- who gets it.

♪♪

Jenna lost her husband a few months before I lost Dahlia.

Oh.

She knows how hard it is.

Please don't tell me you stopped checking your phone

two days before our wedding.

I've been texting you.

So sorry.

Totally lost track.

[ Sighs ] Sorry.

The security consultant?

Hey. Hi. It --

What's going on here, Zack?

Nothing. Nothing.

Uh, security thing.

I just had to ask your fiancé just a couple of questions.

With whiskey?

Yeah, that's -- that's my fault. I took it out.

Come join us.

Uh, one year sober, but thanks.

Ah. I see.

I'm gonna... get out of your hair.

Congratulations to you both.

I'm sorry.

No. No worries. I'm sorry.

I'm so on edge these days.

It's like, the closer we get to our big day,

I-I keep on thinking that something's gonna ruin it

and just -- I want to be married already.

[ Smooches ]

[ Light music plays, indistinct conversations ]

Hey.

Hell, if I'd known you were coming,

I'd have ordered for you. It's my case.

And when you say those things about the investigation,

you're saying them about me.

[ Coughs ] Only you think that, son.

You know it's all smoke.

You know, you know you can't substantiate any of it.

You just hope people look at the fire long enough

to forget that your client is guilty.

I see you do remember some of what I taught you.

[ Laughs ]

You know what? Just tell Mom I'm not gonna make it to brunch this week.

Okay, now who's being personal?

You crossed that line when you took on this case.

I never wanted to be sitting

on opposite sides of the table from you.

You know that.

You know, maybe it's time you come to work for me.

Hmm?

We lost our investigator last week,

so we have an opening.

Don't say no.

Alright, don't say anything while your anger is so hot.

But I want you to think about it.

I mean, we could start you off

at three times what you're making now --

company car, vacation time.

And you would not have to live in that small apartment forever.

Alright, you are, um... still delusional

if you think I'm gonna accept an offer like that

after what you did tonight.

What I did bought my client his freedom.

I got a call from the D.A.'s office about an hour ago.

They want to deal.

No. Kasra would never fold.

Kasra's not calling the shots.

And there's nothing the D.A. likes less than a media headache.

So why don't you sit down, son, relax,

congratulate your old man, and have a drink with him, huh?

M--

♪♪

You can relax now, Dex.

Buddy, I'm relaxed.

You're a natural.

Oh, okay, okay.

Good job. Good job out there.

Can't believe Ansel's learning to drive.

That's the most stressful 10 minutes of my life, okay?

Well, you're not making it easy on him.

Can't imagine learning on that death trap you call a car.

Okay. Alright.

Where's Grey?

In his office.

He said he got a bunch of work to do,

but, honestly, I know what a video game sounds like.

I'm hip.

Grey is, uh...

Regretting this partnership?

Honestly, Tookie, I don't know why you're not.

What -- What happened to, uh, "The streets need me"?

I'm getting older. Mm.

It's time I do something more legitimate.

You sound like Laura.

Yeah, well, she's my wife.

You know, you don't have to, um,

change yourself to impress someone else.

Why not? She did.

She turned her whole life around.

I've never seen her happier.

I love her, Dex.

I don't want to be left behind.

Oh. Hey. Claire.

I was just heading out to update you.

Well, it's no use. Jenna knows.

She put it together when she saw you with Zack.

She came at me hard this morning, and...

I caved.

I've never been any good at lying to my sister.

Mm. Siblings see through us. [ Chuckles ]

Yeah.

Anyway, she lost her mind on me.

She's determined to marry that man

no matter what you dig up.

So, this should cover your time spent.

Thank you.

Uh, for what it's worth, I didn't find anything.

I think that Zack and Jenna will be really happy together.

Well, I pray you're right.

You know, it's so funny.

Most little girls dream of their own wedding...

[ Chuckling ] ...but I always dreamt of Jenna's.

I just really want her to have the fairy tale she deserves.

Ah, especially after the last one.

Hmm? What last one?

Uh, uh, well, Jenna was married before.

Right?

No. Why would you think that?

I don't know.

I must be thinking of another case.

[ Clears throat ]

What happened?

Your dad made me sign an NDA.

He finds out I talked, they can pull my investigator's license.

How long we known each other?

I wasn't the only one who was unhappy,

but I was the only one who complained.

I told HR I wanted to file a report,

and the next day, they fired me.

What kind of complaints?

You know your dad once chucked a stapler at an assistant's head?

You see that happen?

No.

I can get her to talk if you keep her name out of it.

I'd love to hear anyone's complaints about my father.

[ Air horn blows ]

[ Crowd cheering ]

As I suspected.

We need to talk. [ Controller beeps ]

Did you just walk into my office without knocking?

You never listen to me. You're distant.

You pay no attention to my ideas.

I'm an ideas guy, Grey. I'm trying to make you money.

What are you looking at?

Are you looking at the gun?

I'm not looking at the gun. Are you thinking of shooting me?

No, I'm not thinking of shooting you.

Tookie, it's an heirloom from my grandfather.

It's not a big deal.

But I'll tell you what is a big deal --

you barging into my office without knocking.

You're playing video games, Stripes! It doesn't matter!

That's the beauty of owning your own business.

Look, if this partnership's gonna work --

Partnership?

This is not a partnership, Tookie!

I let you park your truck outside of my bar,

and I don't charge you rent.

You think you're doing me the favor?

Your chef quit. You're drowning in bad reviews.

I'm doing the favor here.

Well, I didn't ask you to come.

Well. [ Chuckles ]

If that's how you feel.

It's not how I feel. It's the truth.

I didn't ask you to come, and I don't want you here.

[ Scoffs ] Okay.

Alright. W-What I'm trying to say is,

let's just... finish this trial week

and have a conversation -- Yeah, yeah, you know what? I'm done here, okay?

Tookie does not need favors ever!

♪♪

[ Door slams ]

♪♪

This is how we like it, huh?

Quiet. Peaceful. Intimate.

Am I right?

Why did you hire me?

Why did I hire you?

'Cause you're a hard worker,

you're -- you're smart, you're good at this.

Tookie is a hard worker.

He's smart. He's good at this.

Okay, take it easy.

I didn't fire Tookie.

Have you looked at our PNLs?

PNLs? Since when are you interested in our financials?

Just look at them.

♪ Slow down, baby ♪

Don't start worrying about our numbers.

Alright. Fine. You know what?

We sold a few extra cocktails in the last couple days.

So what? It's a fad. We're good.

Dude.

When you bringing those tacos back?

Et tu, Denny?

[ Knock on door ]

Thought you had bridge on Thursday night.

What -- Ow!

Miles Hoffman, what have you done?

I told the truth.

You ran with unfounded rumors to the media.

That investigator you talked to -- Adam --

he was fired for drinking on the job.

Of course he has a vendetta against your father!

The employees who spoke out were anonymous.

Exactly.

You let that reporter print slander

that could've cost people their jobs,

cost your father his practice.

Got to fight fire with fire, Ma.

Oh, is that how it works, huh?

You hate your father's methods, so you imitate them?

[ Glass thuds ]

At least I'm on the right side of justice.

No.

You do not get to claim moral high ground here.

Can you look me in my eye

and tell me that every officer in your department is honest,

that nobody has ever looked the other way

or broken procedure or massaged the evidence ever?

You and your father are two sides of the same coin.

He never should've taken this case.

On that, we agree.

♪♪

Your father is a mountain of a man,

a hero to everyone who works with him.

Everyone except his sons.

♪♪

Miles.

Your father loves you.

♪♪

And all he ever wanted was your respect.

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

Hey. Hey.

[ Door closes ] It must be bad if you came all the way here.

Tookie left.

Yeah. I know. Ansel called.

[ Refrigerator door opens ] That is what you wanted, right?

Eh...

I don't know.

Maybe it's possible I was being a bit of an ass.

Well... you don't like change.

[ Both laugh ]

No, it's not that.

It's just, this bar is the only legitimate thing I've ever done,

and then Tookie was making me wonder

if maybe I hadn't done it so well, you know?

Yeah, but you have had a lot on your plate lately.

Yeah, but...

I don't know. Part of me wanted it that way.

You know, I didn't have to jump every time Hoffman called,

but I did right away.

[ Chuckles ]

And I keep saying how much I love The Bad Alibi

and it's my dream,

but if I'm being totally honest,

I've always had one foot out the door there.

Uh...well, listen.

If you -- If you want Tookie back, just talk to him.

He's so weird. [ Laughs ]

He's a little weird.

I thought your, uh, case was closed.

What are you doing? Uh, it was.

This woman who's involved in the investigation, she, um --

she told her fiancé that she lost her first husband,

but I've checked all the records,

and she's never been married before.

Well, people lie.

Yes. Yes, they do.

I-I just kn-- I know how hard it is to --

to pick up and -- and move on.

You know, he thinks he's marrying someone

who understands his grief.

Uh, I'm deep in her social photos,

and I'm -- I'm not seeing any romance.

Mm.

Holy hell. Hmm?

[ Telephone ringing, indistinct conversations ]

Kasra: Ah.

Scales balanced back in our direction last night

with that exposé.

No one cares about the posturing of a man

who abuses his underlings.

Mm. Lucky timing.

Very.

Well, this should be fun.

I love going in with a winning hand.

Dex: Hey.

Um, you remember that hit-and-run case

from last year -- Dahlia Montgomery?

My case? The one we talked about two days ago?

I don't have Alzheimer's.

Yes, okay.

Well, you said that the tire tracks on the scene

match a G-Wagen, right?

Yeah.

Okay. Check this out.

[ Clears throat ]

Okay, so, this is Zack Knight's current fiancée in a G-Wagen

that she hasn't driven since Dahlia's accident.

She's let the registration lapse.

There's no bill of sale -- nothing.

But she did buy a brand-new car

three days later.

I-I know it's not much on its own,

but this is a wealthy socialite

who is partying every night and photographing it,

and then she just stopped.

She -- She gets clean

immediately after Dahlia's death.

Circumstantial at best.

Enough to bring her in?

Sure, but I don't see what good it would do.

Rich kids always lawyer up quick.

I could try for a search warrant

on the off chance she still has the car.

Yeah, but that's not likely. No. No.

If she has any sense at all,

she sold it for parts or drowned it in Hagg Lake.

[ Sighs ]

So we need a confession.

I told you.

Rich people, lawyers.

Well, that's only a problem if a cop is asking the question.

Dex.

You're not a cop.

You don't have to read Miranda rights.

No. No, I do not.

♪♪

[ Classical version of "I Melt with You" plays ]

♪♪

Got to say, I'm surprised you own a dress.

Not my choice -- bridesmaid.

What, you -- you got married friends?

I had one once.

Listen, I'm not gonna lie --

this is gonna be a bit of a high-wire act, alright? Mm-hmm.

You got about 20 minutes before the ceremony starts.

And you need to be discreet enough so not to tip her off.

But there has to be witnesses.

Yeah, I get it. You've told me a hundred times.

It's the only way the confession will hold up in court, okay?

Well, she's gonna be in the bridal suite,

getting ready with all of her bridesmaids.

That should work, right?

Sure, if you think you can get her

to confess to a crime she already got away with...

in front of her closest friends...

on her wedding day.

I can be very persuasive.

Yeah, you strike me as more of an acquired taste.

Fair. Fair.

Here.

Ooh. What's that?

A second mic? A backup battery or something?

It's lipstick, Dex.

It's a wedding.

Right.

♪♪

♪♪

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing here, ma'am?

Hey. Uh, Jenna told me to meet her in the bridal suite.

I'm one of her closest friends from St. Louis.

Sorry. Check-in's at the front entrance.

Yeah, but she's expecting me. Go to the front entrance.

Yeah, okay.

[ Both grunt ]

♪ I'll stop the world and melt with you ♪

Sorry. Uh...

Hoffman: Dex, you close?

I'm almost to the bridal suite.

♪ And it's getting better all the time ♪

♪ There's nothing you and I won't do ♪

♪♪

♪ I'll stop the world and melt with you ♪

♪♪

Hoffman, I missed the window. The wedding started.

That's okay. Just -- Just pull out.

We'll -- We'll take another run at her later.

I'm pretty sure this is my last shot

at getting close to this family.

Dex. [ Sighs ]

You said you needed witnesses, right?

No. No, Dex.

Dex.

Do you, Jenna, agree to take this man --

[ Door bursts open ] Dex: Wait! Stop!

Don't do it!

[ Guests murmuring ]

Claire: Ms. Parios!

Uh...why don't we finish this conversation outside?

No, Jenna, you're in the program, right?

Doesn't it ask for you to make amends?

What is going on here? Claire?

Oh, yeah, uh, just a small hiccup, my love.

The truth has a way of coming out.

Zack deserves to hear it from you.

This woman is insane! Get her out.

Okay. No, look -- No.

He thinks that he is the reason that Dahlia's dead, okay?

God! Let go of me! Stop it!

He blames himself!

Get off!

Would you let -- Claire: Do something!

Stop! Everybody, stop!

Let her go.

Why does she think you know something about Dahlia's death?

Because she was there.

[ Guests murmuring ]

Who do you think you are,

bursting in here, making these insane accusations?

You can't protect me from this, Claire.

Wh--

[ Murmuring continues ]

I never should've gotten in my car.

No. No, stop talking.

My memories are all a jumble.

I-I remember being out, I remember dancing,

and then --

and then there just suddenly was glass everywhere.

There was just so much glass and smoke, and --

[ Voice breaking ] ...and then I s-saw her.

I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep.

I was just so hollowed out.

And then I -- then I met you, Zack.

And I-I never meant to fall in love with you.

He needs to hear you say it.

♪ Hmm, hmm, hmm ♪

Is there a world -- is...

♪ Hmm, hmm, hmm ♪

Is there a way...

♪ Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm ♪

Is it possible that you could learn to forgive me?

♪ Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm ♪

Never.

♪ Hmm, hmm, hmm ♪

[ Guests murmuring ]

♪ Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm ♪

♪ I'll stop the world and melt with you ♪

[ Sobbing ]

♪ You've seen the difference ♪

♪ And it's getting better all the time ♪

[ Sirens wailing, police radio chatter ]

I didn't get her to confess. You got enough.

A hundred witnesses? That tape will hold up in court.

Which is great armor for when her fancy lawyers

start angling for plea deals.

You want to talk about it?

The feud with your father?

Genuinely shocked you watch the news.

Well, as a card-carrying member

of the Worst Parents in the World Club,

uh, booze helps.

I'm not so sure he's the bad guy in this story.

Miles.

I did a thing.

I-I crossed a line I never thought I'd cross.

Well, you made a mistake.

I wouldn't know what that feels like, um...

[ Chuckles ]

But you can learn from it.

Is that what you do, Dex?

You just learn from it?

[ Chuckles ]

Do as I say, not as I do.

See ya. Alright.

Hey.

You get mine well-done?

It physically pained me to order it that way,

but, uh -- but, yeah.

[ Chuckles ]

I'm, uh -- I'm sorry, Dad.

What for?

I was behind that article about you.

I know that, Miles.

And let me tell ya,

I've never been prouder, son.

You saw what you perceived to be injustice,

and you did what you had to do.

It was cheap, Dad. It was manipulative.

It worked.

You think I do what I do for fun?

Yeah.

[ Laughs ]

Yeah, well, it's not not fun.

You know, the ABA requires me

to do 50 hours of pro bono work per year.

I do 50 hours per month.

And you know how I can afford to do that?

By taking money from people like Charles' father.

That's buying justice.

Yes, it is.

But it's funny how you think the answer to injustice

is fewer people getting second chances.

You change your mind about coming to work for me, son,

that door is always open.

Listen, if I were to take you up on that offer,

I wouldn't waste the extra money on a burnt steak.

Hey. Tastes better that way.

And that's why no one trusts lawyers.

[ Chuckles ] Hey.

♪♪

Two tacos especial, one taco a la Cosgrove.

You're number 18, my friend.

Thank you. Next up.

[ Bell dings ]

Just a minute.

[ Metal clattering ]

I'm not here to eat.

Yeah, I thought about doing some kind of a grand gesture,

but, uh...

my idea guy left, and I got nothin'.

Aww. He called you his idea guy.

Stay out of this, Victor!

Can we talk?

I do not forgive you. Naturally.

I'm not a pushover.

I have too much self-respect to just come crawling back.

As you should.

Things need to change. I agree.

Stop yes-manning me.

I'm not y--

I need you. I need your passion and your ideas.

I need somebody behind the bar I can trust.

You need a partner?

Let's not put a label on it.

Deal.

Welcome back. Bring it in.

What are we doing?

[ Smooches ]

♪♪

What?

Why are you so weird? What are you talking about?

It just didn't call for a face kiss.

It just didn't. It's a friendly kiss. I --

Goodbye. Thank you. See you at work.

[ Tattoo needle buzzing ]

[ Buzzing stops ]

We're done. Finished.

[ Grunts ]

It's perfect. Mm.

I thought you said this was gonna hurt.

I'm kidding. It was...miserable.

[ Chuckles ] [ Groans ]

Well, it's on the house.

What? No.

No, no, no, no, no. I can't accept that.

Please. It's the least I could do.

You, uh, found Dahlia's killer,

stopped me from making the biggest mistake of my life,

and, uh...well... [ Chuckles ]

...you set me free twice in one day, Dex.

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

Thanks.

Yeah.

You know, I wish we could've met under different circumstances.

Yeah.

Maybe someday, we will, hmm?

[ Vampire Weekend's "Harmony Hall" plays ]

Until then, thank you.

Yes.

♪ We took a vow in summertime ♪

♪ Now we find ourselves in late December ♪

Before you ask, I squeezed these limes myself.

[ Laughs ] No mix?

Thank God for small mercies.

Hey, this is to Ansel --

the new assistant manager of The Bad Alibi.

What?!

That idea was all Grey's.

Yeah, buddy, look, here's the truth.

You know what's good for this bar

even more than I know it myself.

And you deserve the promotion.

To Ansel. To Ansel.

♪♪

Mmm! Tookie, it pains me to say,

but this is so much better than the mix.

[ Laughs ] It is. Hey, guys.

Wow. Thanks. What are we celebrating?

This guy right here.

No.

All of us.

Well, cheers to all of us.

Cheers.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪