Original subtitles

This had better not be a stag film.

What's in this movie? - I wanted to watch it ahead of time.

But he said it'd spoil the emotional impact. A real show man, that one!

You haven't seen it? You're the principal We're showin' it in your school.

What if he is some kind of huckster? - Oh, no, no Mr. Mayor.

This guy's on the up and up. He works with some federal agency.

Federal ? I guess it's okay, then.

Exactly what I thought.

Maree...

Maree -jew -wanna.

Maree -jew... jew ?

Maree...

Excuse me. Do you know how to say this ? I don't speak Mexican.

Good evening. - Good evening.

I want to thank you all for braving the weather and coming out tonight

Over the years your Benjamin Harrison High School

has hosted numerous functions, Graduations, for example,

Your annual Christmas pageants

The Drama Club's recent and so I'm told, highly lauded presentation

of Green Grow the Lilacs.

But no purpose this room has ever served is more important

than that which brings myself and my able assistant Mr. Blumsack

to your community tonight.

I assume worthy parents like yourselves have photos of your kids in your wallets.

right ?

Could you take them out and look at them ?

Fine looking young lad.

My, she's the spitting image, isn't she?

You all looking carefully? Good.

For those pictured before you could be the targets of a deadly assassin!

An assassin of youth!

A new drug menace, destroying our children in alarmingly increasing numbers.

Marijuana, is that drug ! A violent narcotic,

An unspeakable scourge.

The real public enemy number one.

CREEPING LIKE A COMMUNIST, IT'S KNOCKING AT OUR DOORS!

TURNING ALL OUR CHILDREN INTO HOOLIGANS AND WHORES!

VORACIOUSLY DEVOURING

THE WAY THINGS ARE TODAY

SAVAGELY DEFLOWERING THAT GOOD OLD U.S.A.

IT'S...

REEFER MADNESS,

REEFER MADNESS!

REEFER MADNESS, REEFER MADNESS!

OH SO MAD!

SEE THE KIDS,

PRECIOUS KIDS,

YES, THEIR HEADS ARE ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK

CAN'T IGNORE ANYMORE IT COULD BE YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER,

WITH A DEADLY STICK OF REEFER IN THE HAND!

HEADING STRAIGHT FOR... - REEFER MADNESS, REEFER MADNESS!

REEFER MADNESS, REEFER MADNESS!

SAVE OUR KIDS!

STEALTHY AS A SOCIALIST... IT SLITHERS UP OUR SHORES.

TURNING ALL OUR CHILDREN INTO HOOLIGANS AND WHORES.

THIS SMOKING BOWL OF EVIL, THIS SMOKING BOWL OF EVIL

IT BURROWS LIKE AWEEVIL UNDER TENDER CHRISTIAN SKIN! YES!

REEFER MADNESS, REEFER MADNESS. REEFER MADNESS, REEFER MADNESS!

OH SO MAD!

PULL THE WOOL! FROM YOUR EYES!

WE'RE IN NEED OF RIGHTEOUS SOLDIERS FOR THIS MERRYWONDER

HAS TO BE DESTROYED!

FIGHT THE URGE OF THE SCOURGE, DESTRUCTIVE BUT SEDUCTIVE!

SO SOME DRASTIC MEASURES HAVE TO BE DEPLOYED.

PUT AN END TO... REEFER MADNESS, REEFER MADNESS.

REEFER MADNESS, REEFER MADNESS. OH SO MAD!

DEADLY AS THE DEMOCRATS, THAT EMPTY OUT OUR STORES!

TURNING ALL OUR CHILDREN INTO HOOLIGANS AND WHORES!

TEENAGERS ACROSS THE LAND, ARE GLUED AND OVER-SEXED.

IF YOU FAIL TO DRAW THE LINE, YOU'RE BABIES WILL BE NEXT!

REEFER MADNESS, REEFER MADNESS. REEFER MADNESS, REEFER MADNESS.

OH SO MAD!

TELL YOUR CHILDREN! REEFER MADNESS. FIGHT THE MENACE!REEFER MADNESS.

KILL THE DEVIL! REEFER MADNESS. SAVE THE COUNTRY! REEFER MADNESS.

MADNESS, MADNESS, MADNESS, MADNESS, REEFER'S MADE US CRAZY

BARKING - MAD!

Some of you may think I'm overreacting. - I'll say! I think

You've come to the wrong town, pal. - That thing isn't a problem around here

you don't know our kids! You'd be surprised how often I hear that.

What makes this particular drug so dangerous, is that there are

No forbidden needles or snorting powders ?

Children smoke a reefer stick!

Thinking it to be an ordinay, perfectly harmless cigarette.

The kind we all enjoyed as teenagers.

And before you can say Jack Robinson, they are enslaved!

But don't take myword for it,

hear the shocking, sordid facts, and judge for yourselves.

The filmed presentation you're about to witness,

chronicles, The Harper affair.

A true stoy,exhaustively documented in the fine newspapers of

Mr. William Randolph Hearst

A true stoy, that took place in a tow

vey much like your own.

Meet Jimmy Harper, a young lad of some sixteen summers.

Well mannered, hardworking, an all around credit to the community.

Right now, Jimmy's hurying to school,

Hoping to run into a vey special young lady, Mary Lane.

Mary was a healthy young miss of good American breeding stock.

God fearing, civic minded and vey much in love.

Just a harmless old turtle. See?

Off you go. I thought it was a rat.

Mary I cary your books? Yes, Mary and Jimmywere destined,

to share a love that would last a lifetime.

Tragically, it would be the brief lifetime of a fruit fly.

It's sweet of you to help me study Romeo and Juliet.

Without your help, come exam time, I would've been on a trip for biscuits!

Well it, it's my pleasure. Ah, where would you like to start?

Probably the Pru-low-gwee. Pru-low-gwee.

I think you mean prologue. I got that confused with Mon-tay-gwee.

That's not even a real word. I looked it up in two dictionaries.

Montague. It's Romeo's last name. You are so smart.

My mother says you're a boy who's going places.

you talk about me to your mother ? I talk about you to eveybody!

Forsooth, fair Juliet. Wouldst thou likest yon hot chocolate?

Wherever did you learn to speak like that?

It's fancy talk. From Romeo and Juliet.

'Cause, when a guy wants to, woo a girl, he needs you know, the right language.

Are you tying to woo me, Jimmy Harper ?

I NEED WORDS TO TELL YOU 'BOUT MY POUNDING HEART:

FOUR DOLLAR WORDS THAT MAKE A GUY SOUND SMART.

WELL I GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY INVENTED SHAKESPEARE

HIS ARTICULATIONS OF A LOVER'S PALPITATIONS ARE SO KEEN.

MY BOUNTY IS AS BOUNDLESS AS THE SEA!

MY LOVE AS DEEP THE MORE I GIVE TO THEE.

OH YOU SOUND SO DREAMY WHEN YOU TALK LIKE SHAKESPEARE!

A BIG VOCABULARY SHOULD BE CUSTOMARY WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE...

LA LA LA LA LA LA YOU'RE A SNOWY DOVE.

LA LA LA PRODIGIOUS BIRTH OF LOVE.

LA LA LA HIP HOORAY FOR SHAKESPEARE!

SURE AS I AM BREATHING, YOU CAN MAKE

ELIZABETHAN LANGUAGE FUN

WE ARE JUST LIKE ROMEO AND JULIET. WE'RE HAPPY, YOUNG,

AND BUBBLING WITH LOVE.

I CAN'T WAIT, TO READ THE ENDING!

I CAN'T EITHER! BUT I'M SURE, IT TURNS OUT REAL SWELL.

I BET ROMEO, MARRIES HIS JULIET.

AND THEY HAVE A BABY. AND MAKES LOTS OF FRIENDS.

THAT'S PROBABLY THE WAY THE PLAY ENDS.

YOU DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES HOW TO BURN REAL BRIGHT.

HANGING LIKE A JEWEL UPON THE CHEEK OF NIGHT.

HARK WHAT LIGHT THROUGH YONDER WINDOW BREAKS HERE?

WILL BE FUTURE SPOUSES PUT A PLAGUE ON BOTH OUR HOUSES

IF WE'RE WRONG. SHAKESPEARE!

The sad truth is,

That if our schools spent less time indoctrinating our children

in the works of, Bill Shakespeare, and focused instead on the work

of a far superior author...

things might have turned out differently. And the delicate heart

of young love might not have been stabbed.

Stabbed, and pinned, to the shameful corkboard of, the reefer den!

Come on, Mae! Get up off your duff!

What time is it Jack? Time to give this place a goin' over.

It looks like the Marines have landed. That bunch last night was high

Party's over Sally.

What a night. I was in more laps than a napkin.

Great, now the damn baby's awake.

Hold your water!

Momma's coming.

Damn stairs.

Look at all this weed! Pastures of plenty!

Keep your ham-hooks off my product! Just checking for bugs!

We need a better class of clientele. he's old enough to know what he's doing.

Not like those kids you bring up here. Ah, stop squawking at me!

You got more static than the radio.

I'll press bricks over to the Five & Dime Bring back a couple more kids.

You got a problem with that? Well maybe I do!

You better tune me in and get my signal right.

Around here, I call the shots.

Jack!

Almost forgot.

Can't get through the morning without a little toot, can you?

See you in the funny papers.

I OUGHTA LEAVE HIM.

BUT SOMETHING MAKES ME STAY.

IT'S THE STUFF.

I'D TRY TO KILL HIM,

BUT MY GUY GIVES ME LOVE AND THE STUFF.

SOMETIMES HE'S ROUGH.

HE THROWS ME DOWN THE STAIRS.

BUT DEEP INSIDE HE CARES!

HE BUYS ME LINGERIE.

AND STUFF.

I WAS A STUDENT.

GOOD GRADES AND SO NAIVE.

'TIL THE STUFF.

A HANDSOME STRANGER,

SOME EMPTY PROMISES,

LOTSA STUFF.

BUT I DON'T GET HOOKED. I'M NOT ADDICTED, NO!

I JUST ENJOY THE GLOW! I LIKE TO HAVE MY FUN!

NO HARM TO ANYONE.

THOUGH THE FUN SOMETIMES ESCAPES ME,

WHEN JACKS GETS STONED AND RAPES ME!

NOTHING NUMBS ME BETTER THAN...

THE STUFF.

THAN THE STUFF.

In the latest issue of Scientific American, the Federal Bureau of Narcotics tells us,

that marijuana, posses an addictive power beyond

even that of heroin, or cocaine.

Yes?

Are you sure about your facts there ? No, no. Shh. Shh.

Why do you ask, mister... Kochinski.

my wife's cousin had himself a problem with the heroin.

And I'd done some readin', there's nothin' more addictive than that stuff.

Kochinski.

Russian name.

Isn't it?

It's Polish. Actually, it's Polish. Of course.

I certainly applaud your brave, unwillingness to believe something

simply because it's printed in a magazine with the word "American" in the title.

You stand as a shining examplen to your comrades.

And the rest of us.

My wife, mighta mixed up the stoy.

I think it was marijuana that her cousin was hooked on.

It's bad, it's bad stuff.

Bad stuff indeed.

Would that it had been, mere heroin.

For ladies and gentlemen, marijuana is an insidious master.

Seeking slaves not in the dark jungles of Africa

But right here! In each of our 48 states.

AFTER SCHOOL HAS LET OUT, WE JUST LIKE TO GET OUT TO THE PLACE

WHERE JITTERBUGGIN'S ALWAYS IN STYLE.

ATCHMO IS A-SINGIN', DORSEY IS A-SWINGIN'

A SYNCOPATED WONDERLAND THAT BRINGS ON A SMILE.

COME AND STRETCH YOUR DANCE ABILITIES, NOBODY IS FEELIN' ILL AT EASE.

WHEN YOUR TOES ARE TAPPIN',ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, DOWN AT THE OL' 5 & DIME.

DANCING, DANCING...

RAUMATAU THAT ALWAYS HAS YOU SASHAYIN'

BUY YOUR GAL SOME JUJUBES.

SHE'LL BE SWOONIN', SPOONIN, DOWN AT THE OL' 5 & DIME!

IF YOU'RE FEELIN' GLOOMY, GLIDE ON OVER TO ME.

TRY THE FINEST CHERRY FIU IN ALL OF THE LAND.

MY AFTER SCHOOL OASIS, GETS THE HOPELESS CASES,

HOPPIN' AND A-BOPPIN' TO THE 5 & DIME BAND!

YOU CAN BUYYOURSELF A PACK OF SMOKES. LAUGH AT ALL MY CORNY KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES.

GOTTA TAKE THE GANG OUT TO THE LOCAL HANGOUT,

WHERE BENNY GOODMAN IS KING!

you're gonna give her your school ring? And how.

Mary Lane is one slinky piece of homework. An E-flat Dillinger,

a hop and a skip to Tasty Town. I would like a bite outta that tomato!

Hands off, Mickey! I'm hep.

HERE GOES NOTHIN'.

DANCIN', DANCIN'.

THEN ENJOY SOME FUNNY BOOKS!

WE GET FRISKY, RISKY.

COOL OFF WITH A MALTED MILK!

WE'RE ALL BUMPIN', COME JUMP IN. DOWN AT THE OL' 5 & DIME.

Mray! I got something to ask you. Did you heard the announcement today?

President Roosevelt is coming to town. my pop says he's a labor-appeasing,

Supreme Court packing Bolshevik? I don't know about all that boy stuff.

but there's gonna be a big dance contest in his honor!

And I want you to be my partner. Dance contest? Geez! I don't know.

What's to know? I've been working on our routine.

Feast your peepers on this!

FEEL THE CRAZY RHYTHM IN YOUR FEET,

BLUING BRIGHT AS NEON, MAYBE WE COULD BE ON

MAJOR BOWES' AMATEUR HOUR!

What's the wait, Nate? I got two left feet

If Mary sees me dancin' I'll lose her.

Mickey! I'm hep!

I have to change into my coveralls for 4-H club tonight. see you there!

Hey kid! I'm Jack. I'm Jimmy. Pleased to meet you.

SOMETIMES MEN WOULD COME TO CALL WHO STANK OF SIN AND BARBASOL.

THEY'D ASK KIDS IF THEY FELT AT ALL LIKE HAVING THEMSELVES A FEW KICKS.

Jimmy, as in Jimmy Cagney?

Don't I wish.

Girl trouble ? I gotjust the cure.

What sayyou and I blow this Popsicle stand and find ourselves a real party?

that's amully nice Mr. Jack but I'm meeting my girlfriend at 4-H club

Come on, we'll have some laughs. Half hour, tops.

Gee. I don't know.

Suite yourself.

you're not the hep cat I took you for Cool.

Wow! You sure shake a wicked calf!

Can you teach me how to dance like that ? Time I get through, you'll make

Fred Astaire look like Barney Google. if you're sure it'll only be a half hour.

Kid, that's a promise from me to you.

DANCIN', DANCIN'.

CHARLESTON 'TIL YOUR TOOTSIES ACHE. WE'LL BE GRINNIN', SPINNIN'

ROMPIN' TO THE SAVOY STOMP. WE'RE RUG-CUTTIN', STRUTTIN'

WE'RE RUG-CUTTIN', STRUTTIN' HERE DOWN AT THE OL' FIVE AND DIME!

Do your children enjoy, jazz music?

For I am here to tell you that, Cab Calloway, Dizzy Gillespie,

Duke Ellington and the whole weed blowing, ginger colored lot,

merely masquerading as musicians and are in fact agents of evil.

Reefer slows down the smoker's sense of time. Allowing him

to squeeze in unnecessay "grace notes,"

giving this voodoo music the power... To hypnotize white women into

indulging in acts of unspeakable degradation.

You will find this profane music, whereveryou find marijuana.

Hear that? It's the national anthem of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Faster, Sally, faster!

Put it in me!

Faster, Sally! Faster! Faster!

Ah!

Oh!

Man, I'm starving. We got any eats?

Eveybody take it on the heel! Get the lead outta your shorts!

Damn cowbell!

Damn baby

Damn stuff!

Come on in kid. Make yourself cozy.

Who's that? Ralph. Used to be a college boy.

Mae, this is Jimmy Harper. He's o-kay.

Oh Jack, this kid can't be more than 15. Oh, 16, madam.

The name's Mae. And a madam runs a different kind of house.

Shut up!

Good baby.

Say,

Say, who's the new fish? Oh.

I'm J_immy.

Sally, why don't you and J_immy, get better acquainted.

Give him the usual. If I can't turn him on,

he ain't got switches.

How tall are you anyway? five feet nine inches.

Let's forget the five feet and concentrate on the nine inches.

Whoopsie!

No harm done. Hero.

I want that Jimmy kid outta here. He's too young. I got hooked at that age

and I'm not doin' it to anybody else. Do I have water in my ear

or are you giving me guff? This is my house! And I say he goes!

Is evemhing okay? Just fell. That's all.

let me light your cigarette for you

This isn't a cigarette. It's a real smoke.

Reefer. Let's share it.

Oh, no I shouldn't.

it's been great meetin' you folks but

I oughta head over to 4-H club. I'm teaching how to make a potato clock.

I didn't think you were such a moldy fig.

Or maybe, you're scared.

I'm not either!

Prove it!

COME ON JIMMY, COME ON JIMMY, SUCK IT DOWN FOR SALLY.

COME ON JIMMY, COME ON JIMMY.

Thank you Sally but I honestly don't think it's such a good idea.

COME ON JIMMY, COME ON JIMMY SUCK IT DOWN FOR SALLY.

I gotta get outta here. You got me all confused..

TAKE A TOKE OF TEA-STICK, TAKE A TOKE OF TEA-STICK,

SMOKE IT YOU MAY CHOKE AT FIRST BUT THEN THE WORST IS OVER.

DON'T BE A CHICKEN, DON'T BE A CHICKEN,

DON'T JIMMY, DON'T DO IT!

DON'T CHA BE A FOOL! DON'T JIMMY, DON'T DO IT!

SMOKE THE MARIJUANA

SAIL THE SEA OF SIN

REACH A HOT NIRVANA,

TREMBLE FROM WITHIN.

SERVE YOUR APPETITE.

PLAN TO STAY THE NIGHT.

I AM STANDING AT TEMPTATION'S DOORS.

I HAVE NEVER, FELT THIS WAY BEFORE.

JOIN THE WONDER DANCE.

LOSE THE UNDERPANTS!

SOMEONE SAVE ME, THERE'S NO PLACE TO HIDE.

FROM THIS SALACIOUS MAGIC CARPET RIDE!

OPEN UP YOUR MIND! LET YOUR BODY SOAR!

ARMS AND LEGS ENTWINED CRY, MORE, MORE, MORE!

IF AYEAR GOES BY, IT MIGHT SEEM A DAY.

IF A DAY GOES BY, IT COULD TAKE AYEAR!

SPACE RECEDES AT BLINDING SPEED, YOUR LUST IS ON THE RISE!

Moloch!

TENDER VIRGIN.

FRESH AS MORNING DEW.

I'VE BEEN EAGERLY EXPECTING YOU.

LIVE THE GREATER LIFE!

LIVE THE SATYR LIFE!

EROS BECKONS,

FEEL THE NEED INCREASE.

EVERY FIBER BURNS

FOR SWEET RELEASE.

LIVE A LITTLE DREAM, LEAVE A LITTLE MESS.

EVERYBODY SCREAM YES, YES, YES!

CAN'T YOU FEEL THE FLUSH OF PULSING PAGAN FIRE?

COME AND FEEL THE RUSH! FLY HIGHER AND HIGHER!

DANCING NAKED AS THE SINFUL ADAM... VOODOO JUNGLE DRUM!

COUPLED WITH AWICKED MADAM 'TIL THE MORNING COMES!

WE'RE WAITING FOR YOUR BUSINESS IN THIS CARNAL CARNIVALE.

TAKE A ONE-WAY TICKET TO THE BACCHANAL.

SO COME ON JIMMY, COME ON, GIMME REEFER LOVE!

SMOKE THE MARIJUANA,

SAIL THE SEA OF SIN.

REACH A HOT NIRVANA, TREMBLE FROM WITHIN!

WE'RE WAITING FOR YOUR BUSINESS IN THIS CARNAL CARNIVALE.

TAKE A ONE-WAY TICKET TO THE BACCHANAL!

SO COME ON JIMMY, COME ON, GIMME REEFER LOVE!

GIMME REEFER LOVE!

Knock, knock!

there for art thou Romeo!

I've been looking foryou everywhere Well I haven't been everywhere!

Well, what a thing to say!

I was wondering ifwe could practice our steps for the presidential dance ?

It's only a few days away, and with you being so mysteriously busy

I wanted to make sure we could get in enough rehearsal.

Jimmy, is something wrong? Why?

Should something be wrong?

Stop hounding me! Stop hounding me!

I didn't think I was.

Oh.

It's me, isn't it? You don't love me anymore

You haven't even tried to kiss me in almost a week!

A kiss? Is that what you want?

Let me show you a few new moves...

That was your tongue! Jimmy Harper! What's come over you?

Mercifully, Mary had no idea what had come over Jimmy.

But she feared the worst.

THE SERMON TODAYWAS REALLY EXCITING.

YAHWEH WAS MAD AND DID PLENTY OF SMITING.

WITH LOCUSTS AND PLAGUES AND LITTLE GREEN FROGGIES.

ALL THAT AND MORE THUNDERED DOWN FROM THE SKY.

I REACHED FOR YOUR HAND LIKE I ALWAYS DO.

BUT BESIDE ME WAS JUST...

AN EMPTYWOODEN PEW.

THERE'S HYMNALS AND A ROSARY

BUT THEY DON'T KEEP ME COMPANY.

THE WAFERS NOW DON'T TASTE SO GREAT.

THEY WON'T TRANSUBSTANTIATE.

WITHOUT YOU NEAR,

THE GOSPEL CHOIR SOUNDS ASKEW.

JIMMY COME BACK

AND FILL MY LONELY PEW.

A GLOOMY CHURCH THAT YOU'RE NOT IN.

CAN LEAD A GIRL TO MORTAL SIN.

A LADYASKED "IS THIS SEm TAKEN ?"

I LIED, I GUESS

I TOLD HER "YES."

I PRAYA HOLY SHINING STAR SHINING TWINKLING STAR.

WILL LEAD YOU HOME FROM WHERE YOU ARE. WHERE OH WHERE YOU ARE.

IN A FOG OR LOST AT SEA?

OR COULD IT BE YOU'RE TIRED OF ME?

IT'S A LINE OF THOUGHT I'D RATHER NOT PURSUE.

RATHER NOT PURSUE.

JIMMY, COME BACK

AND FILL MY LONELY

PEW.

I got the window open... Give me a boost!

How much you think is in there ? Jack don't get his green, we don't get ours!

Cool your jets! Hear that?

We got more scratch than a sandpaper factoy.

That's good. That's good!

Frankincense. Wow!

Reefer...madness.

madness.

Welcome to Club Celestial.

I am your host, Joan of Arc.

No Christian martyr works it harder.

The many voices in my head tell me we have a special guest in the house tonight!

James Fenimore Harper!

Tonight, Jimmy will be taught the error of his ways.

By the brightest star in our Heavenly Firmament

the Lord of Hosts, The Stranger from the Manger...

the hardest working man in the afterlife!

Give it up, for Jesus!

Jesus, I got a great high cookin' here. Don't bring me down.

On the contrary Jimmy. I'm here to bring you up. With dope.

Oh, not your brand of dope, but the straight dope.

You think those reefer fiends are cool? I don't think you realize

how cool God can be.

I FLOATED DOWN FROM HEAVEN, WHEN I HEARD A LAMB HAD STRAYED.

LOOK AT YOU HERE, YOUR BRAIN HAS TURNED TO MARMALADE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU JIMMY, AND RETURN YOU TO THE FOLD.

TRY FILLING YOUR LUNGS WITH GOD, AND NOT JAMAICAN GOLD.

SATAN'S BOLD. LOVES TO LIE.

DON'T REPLY.

DO YOU WANNA MAKE THE ANGELS CRY?

LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY.

JUST SAY "NO" TO THE MARIJUANA.

LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY.

THIS COMES STRAIGHT FROM THE MADONNA.

LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY.

I'M THE FACE ON THE SHROUD OF TURIN.

LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY.

DO I NEED TO TEST YOUR URINE?

SAY _N...

WENT AND CONNED YA.

MUSTN'T TOUCH HIS EVIL GANJA.

JIMMY,

DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON GOD.

DONA EIS REQUIEM !

REQUIEM

CANNABIS

YOU'LL BURN IN HELL!

I'VE CURED A LOT OF LEPERS AND I'VE RISEN FROM THE DEAD. Howya doin'?

IS THAT WHAT IT'S GONNA TAKE TO GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEAD ? You can touch.

IF YOU INSIST ON SMOKING, TO INDULGE THOSE TEENAGE KICKS,

YOU'LL BE FLOATING NAKED IN THE RIVER STYX.

SULFUR POOLS.

TORTURE TOOLS.

SEPARATION FROM YOUR FAMILY JEWELS!

RAMA LAMA THEY'RE GONNA CUT YOUR DING DONG !

LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY.

GOTTA GIVE IT UP FOR LENT, BOY!

LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY !

OR WIND UP AS SATAN'S RENT-BOY!

LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY.

DON'T LET REEFER KICK YOUR KEISTER !

LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY.

I'M THE POSTER-BOY FOR EASTER.

JIMMY, LET ME SEE YA KICK THE SIN

AND SINSEMILLA

JIMMY, GO, GO, GO.

GOTTA KICK IT, JIMMY. DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON GOD.

FOR THE LORD GOD OMNIPOTENT HATETH

MARIJUANA! MARIJUANA!

LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY.

THOU SHALT HEED THIS HOLY OMEN.

LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY.

STOP INDULGING LIKE A ROMAN.

LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY.

ALL THE CHERUBIM SAYYOU GOTTA.

YOU GOTTA LISTEN TO JESUS, JIMMY.

TRUST THE MAN WITH THE STIGMATA.

JIMMY, DON'T YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON GOD!

ON GOD!

You rock Jesus!

Jimmy.

Take a hit of God instead. You think you can, handle the high?

I got a new God now!

Hey, that's my Mary Jane! Think so ? You don't own the Mary Jane.

Mary Jane owns you. Listen up kid Get out now and don't look back!

It's too late for us, but you, you're young.

You still got a chance. Why do you gotta steak on your eye?

Just fell, that's all. I'm serious Jimmy.

It's dangerous here. I got me a taste for danger!

No!

Back off! You're heaped to the gills.

And you, zip it! You'll wake Sally's baby.

That's okay, Mae. Don't wory about it. Sally.

I haven't heard your baby cying tonight?

Um!

I don't know.

It is a matter of public record, that the addict will sell anything,

anything at all, to obtain the decadent rush, of that next fix.

You'll take good care of him, right? I mean, it's not true what they say

about you people eating babies, is it?

Care to stay for, dinner?

You didn't really sell your baby for reefer money, did ya?

It's okay. I got another one on the way. Light?

that kindajoke, that ain't...

So where'd you get this Packard ? I boosted it. From my girlfriend.

Girlfriend ? You expect me to believe some little bobbysoxer's got

what it takes to chop your suey? I'm steamed up like a pant's presser!

That's the idea baby. Tonight you and me are gonna break out like the measles!

Sally! Sally! keep your eyes on the road, Sally!

Serves him right

Hey mister! Ah, are you okay ? we didn't see you there.

I think

he's dead.

I was never here.

Okay.

Damn lamp-post.

I'm so sory.

I'm so, sory.

THERE'S BLOOD ON MY HANDS AND MUD ON MY NAME.

MY ID THREW A PARTY AND EVERYONE CAME.

MY INNOCENCE RAVISHED, MY VIRTUE DEVOURED.

I CAN'T COUNT THE STRANGERS WITH WHOM I HAVE SHOWERED.

I'VE TAKEN A LIFE,

BEEN STRIPPED TO MY ESSENCE.

AND TO THINK ALL I WANTED WAS SWING DANCE LESSONS.

Police! Freeze!

Police looks for a late model Packard, left the scene of a hit and run homicide!

Mae was right about the Mary Jane. It owns me.

MARYJANE, OH MARYJANE.

YOU CRUMPLED ME LIKE CELLOPHANE.

YOU STIR ME UP LIKE BEEF CHOW MEIN.

YOU WRECK ME MARYJANE.

MARYJANE, OH MARYJANE.

YOU'VE CONQUERED ME LIKE CHARLEMAGNE.

PLEASURE INTERTWINED WITH PAIN.

YOU WRECK ME, MARYJANE.

YOUR TOXIC KISSES MAKE MY HEART RACE,

FASTER THAN A CHEETAH.

I'VE BEEN STAPLED AND SPINDLED. MYWILLPOWER'S DWINDLED.

YOU MELT RESISTANCE DOWN LIKE HOT VELVEETA.

MARYJANE, OH MARYJANE.

YOU FLUSHED MY FUTURE DOWN THE DRAIN.

YOU SMEARED ME LIKE A KETCHUP STAIN.

BUT I NEED YOU...

I LOVE YOU...

I'M LOVED BY MARY...LANE.

LOVED BY MARY, LOVED BY MARY, LOVED BY MARY LANE!

LOVED BY MARY, LOVED BY MARY...

LOVED BY MARY LANE!

There's only room for one Mary in my life. Mary Lane.

with an "L" - for love! I love Mary Lane!

LOVED BY MARY, LOVED BY MARY, LOVED BY MARY LANE!

Jimmy! What are you doing here in the middle of the night? It's almost 9 pm.

MARY LANE, OH MARY LANE.

TWO WORDS THAT FALL LIKE GENTLE RAIN.

YOU TOUCH MY HAND AND KILL MY PAIN.

I LOVE YOU, MARY LANE.

Jimmy, I'm in my nightgown!

YOU FLOOD MYWORLD WITH ALL THE COLORS,

OF THE SUNDAY FUNNIES.

THE INNOCENT SPLENDOR OF KISSES SO TENDER.

SOFTER THAN A PILLOW STUFFED WITH BUNNIES!

I don't knowwhat you're talking about, but I like the sound of it!

MARY LANE, OH MARY LANE.

WILL HELP YOU SING A NEW REFRAIN.

WITH YOU BESIDE WE'LL START AGAIN.

JUST ME AND MARY.

YOU AND MARY.

ME AND MARY LANE.

WHEN LIFE BECOMES A ROLLER COASTER AND I CAN'T KEEP MY FOOTING.

I'LL LOVE YOU COMPLETELY. AND STEADY ME SWEETLY!

AS SWEET AS SHIRLEY TEMPLE, DIPPED IN PUDDING.

SWEET AS SHIRLEY TEMPLE PUDDING! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

MARY LANE! OH MARY LANE !

OUR HEARTS POUND LIKE A DIESEL TRAIN.

THE WORLD MAY CRUMBLE, WE'LL REMAIN.

JUST ME AND MARY..

YOU AND MARY.

I'M LOVED BY MARY! LOVED BY MARY, LOVED BY MARY,

LOVED BY MARY LANE!

LOVED BY MARY, LOVED BY MARY...

LOVED BY MARY LANE!

LOVED BY MARY, LOVED BY MARY...

LOVED BY MARY. Mary!

LOVE MARY MAGDALENA LANE.

LOVED BY MARY, LOVED BY MARY.

LOVED BY MARY LANE.

LOVED BY MARY, LOVED BY MARY, LOVED BY MARY LANE.

YES I LOVE YOU.

GOT TO, GOT TO, GOT TO, GOT TO LOVE ME!

OH! I LOVE YOU JIMMYYEAH!

WE'LL SING TO THE RAFTERS OF HAPPILYAFTERS.

I LOVE YOU.

YOU'RE LOVED BY...

MARY LANE.

Who can name for me the one all abiding, all powerful force, in the world ?

Principal Short?

What is the human condition so powerful, it can stave off

all that is black and evil, in these confusing times?

Love?

In a time, in which our children

are subjected to a daily diet of depravity in their film and popular music?

In a time, in which the entire world

is aligned against the American way of life?

A time when our economy is in a state of total collapse and a

reckless lunatic sits in the White House, I am relieved to hear

our fatuous friend is so confident

that love will cary the day.

The correct answer is of course, vigilance.

Sirens!

There's somethin' I want to give you and I may not get another chance.

Oh Jimmy! Your school ring ?

Is your finger swollen? Are you putting on weight?

Maybe. I seem to be hungy all the time.

A moment on the lips, forever on the hips!

Wait!

What do you mean not get another chance ? I have to run away. Far away!

Well then I'm coming with you! You have no idea what I've done. -

It doesn't matter. I'm wearing your school ring now...

as soon as you get it offyour finger! And if Romeo has to run away,

then so does Juliet! Okay. Pack a bag. I'll wait.

I believe in you Jimmy Harper!

Even if you do have pudgy fingers.

Goodbye, Mary.

You deserve better.

Hey kid.

How's tricks? How'd you find me?

It's all over the radio.

Cops are looking foryou and the Packard. I drove 'round 'til I found it.

I can't have you tellin' the cops where you get your stager-leaf.

So what say we head back to Mae's, where it's safe and cozy.

This'll calm you down for the ride. You're talkin' on a dead phone.

I'm through with reefer, and I'm through with you.

And don't pull any dirty tricks, 'cause it won't work.

I see.

then there's only one thing left to do:

You like brownies ? Baked 'em myself.

Well I am kinda hungy.

Thank you.

THIS BROWNIE, IS YUMMY.

IT'S THE GREATEST BROWNIE KNOWN TO MAN.

IT'S CHEWY, IT'S NUTTY.

THIS BROWNIE'S REALLY GOOD! !

DON'T OFFER ME A MACAROON,

MY BROWNIE SUITS ME FINE.

THERE'S FROSTING ON THE TOP AND BEST OF ALL IT'S MINE!

EAT THE BROWNIE, EAT THE BROWNIE! EAT THE BROWNIE, EAT THE BROWNIE!

LET'S GO HOME. OKAY!

I SHIMMER, ELECTRIC.

I'M A ONE-MAN MARCHING BROWNIE BAND.

I LOVE IT, MY BROWNIE. AND MY BROWNIE LOVES ME TOO!

IT'S SMOOTH, SWEET, IT'S CHOCOLADGE-Y!

IT FORMS A PERFECT SQUARE.

AND THE BESTEST PART OF ALL IS

I DON'T HAVE TO SHARE! DOESN'T HAVE TO SHARE.

AND THE BESTEST PART OF ALL IS I DON'T HAVE TO CARE!

EAT THE BROWNIE! EAT THE BROWNIE!

YEAH!

Come on, kid. Get in the car. Where we goin' Jack?

Back where you belong. You're one of us now. That's nice.

Jimmy!

Wait!

Careful Jimmy, not too fast!

This weed, is a triple scream !

I need more, I tell ya, more! I'm always happy to oblige a customer.

Make that a paying customer. I'm busted flat, Jack.

you bled me dy!

Oh, not quite! It doesn't come off

I was saving that ring for May.

Where else you gonna get your fix ?

From the coloreds down the Jazz Quarter?

Those chow-chows over at Madame Ling's ? They'd bounce you like a lead dime.

Real gold.

Smoke up pipsqueak.

This'll get you through the weekend. See ya in the funny papers.

He can be a really a nice guy.

What have you gotten yourself into, Jimmy ?

Oh yeah! Hotcha!

Hey diddle diddle, a cat for my fiddle.

One moment, please.

I need the room!

You mind takin' it upstairs ?

Don't mind takin' it an_here.

Hey there. I'm Ralph.

Hello, my name's Mary Lane. I followed my boyfrriend here. Jimmy Harper.

Have you seen him?

Um, well hejust stepped out. To pick up some Bibles for our prayer breakfast.

That's my Jimmy.

Say, is this a fraternity sweater ?

Is Jimmy hanging out with college boys ? Why yes.

Yes, he is.

We at Phi Beta Cannabis, were so taken with Jimmy that, we decided

to pledge him. Early. While he's still in high school.

Avoid the rush. Well that's the bees' knees!

Wait 'til Susie Maybery hears about this! Let's celebrate

with a smoke. Hold on!

This isn't that "reefer" I've read about ?

Of course not.

This is a special cigarette.

All the rage with the college girls.

In Paris.

Paris? Oh, yes.

Well, if I'm going to be dating a fraternity man.

LITTLE MARY SUNSHINE,

WITH HER HEM CUT SO LOW.

LITTLE MARY SUNSHINE,

WITH HER DUCKS IN A ROW.

It burns my lungs.

LITTLE MARY SUNSHINE,

NEEDS A CHANGE IN HER LIFE.

LITTLE MARY SUNSHINE,

NEEDS A MAN.

Oh!

NOW COME ON, MARY SUNSHINE.

IT'S TIME THAT YOU LEARNED TO BE BAD.

YOU MAKE A CHARMING ARMFUL,

SO SNUGGLE UP, MY BUTTER CUP, 'CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN HAD.

Oh Ralph, I think you tricked me.

NOW, SMOKE IT, MARY SUNSHINE.

DISSOLVE IN THE SWEET BURNING GLOW.

COME LOSE YOURSELF IN PLEASURE,

WHEN THE BAMBALACHA'S GOTCHA, YOU'LL FORGET THE WORD "NO"!

Oh, I can't. What about, Jimmy ?

JIMMY'S A RUBE, PROVINCIAL AND DULL.

DON'T BE TRICKED, HE'S STRICTLY QUADRILATERAL.

JIMMY'S A BOY, I'M READY FOR MEN.

LET'S GO UP AND DOWN AND UP AND DOWN AND...

DOWN AGAIN.

May Sunshine, you are ultra, ultra!

I FEEL A LITTLE NAUGHTY.

BABY, I'LL HELP YOU RELAX.

I'LL TIE YOU UP WITH PHONE CORD,

WE'LL PLAY WITH THE WHIPS AND NIPPLE CLIPS AND CANDLE WAX!

NOW HOLD ON, MARY SUNSHINE.

LET'S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY.

JUST CALL ME MARY "WANNA"

AND MARY'S GOT SOME SCARY LITTLE GAMES TO PLAY !

I'LL LATHER YOU UP. AND GIVE YOU A SHAVE !

A PADDLING WHILE STRADDLING MY LITTLE SLAVE!

DOWN ON YOUR KNEES.

IT'S POINTLESS TO FIGHT. SAVE YOUR STRENGTH IT'S GONNA BE A LENGTHY NIGHT.

HELP! THIS CRAZY TOMATO'S RAPIN' ME!

GOODBYE TO MARY SUNSHINE.

REEFER HAS BLOWN OUT HER MIND.

SHE'S NOWA HOT HAY HUSSY.

DON'T YOU RUN, I'M NOT DONE ! CAN'T YOU TELL, WE'VE JUST BEGUN !

WHAT'S YOUR RUSH? YOU'RE NOT HAVING FUN?

MARY.

MARY SUNSHINE.

BURNS FOR, YEARNS FOR DIRTY LOVE!

Shut up bitch!

I'm not buying any of this.

You ask me, this guy's getting his jolly showing us blue movies.

I'm sory, Mr. Kochinski, do you have something to share with the group ?

No.

We're interested in what you have to say.

Look, it, it'sjust,

One puff and the girl goes wacky?

It's kinda far fetched. Not according to Mr. William Randolph Hearst.

A recent edition, of his "San Francisco Examiner" tells us,

that 314 of the crimes of violence in this county today are

committed by dope slaves. That is a matter of cold record.

You can't believe evemhing you read. and that don't make me a commie!

Mr. Hurst is a man who attended Harvard. Where did you matriculate?

Ma-tric-u-late?

It means, where did you go to college?

I didn't.

I see.

Well regardless, Mr. Kochinski I'm sure,

we all take your opinions vey seriously. Given the extremity of your views,

it would be unpatriotic not to.

Mary ? Jimmy!

Kid! It's not what it looks like.

Holy socks! Billy, don't go!

Don't you wanna learn to dance?

Jack! Help me!

He's killing me!

Geez ! That stupid little weed freak. Is eveybody okay?

I think, I've been shot.

She fell down!

Mae! Get me some smelling salts.

Alright. You two blow. Don't talk to nobody. I will handle this.

Go!

Give me that!

Mary?

Mary! what happened ? You shot her dead, kid.

Jack, no !

Jimmy? I don't feel so good.

It's, it's gonna be okay. I promise.

feels so, cold.

Give me the ring! Well, looky here.

Casper milky toast is givin' me orders.

I shot Mary. What makes you think I won't shoot you?

Oh Jimmy, your school ring.

it glitters. Like a star.

WE ARE JUST LIKE ROMEO AND JULIET.

WE'RE HAPPY, YOUNG AND...

HEMORRHAGING BLOOD.

DID YOU GET TO READ THE ENDING ? WAS IT PERFECT?

DID THEY LOVE UNTIL THEY GOT OLD ?

It was beautiful. They grew up, and eveyone came to the wedding.

did they have babies ? Yeah. Six of 'em.

That's good. I love babies

IT MAKES ME HAPPY KNOWIN' THAT WE LOVED LIKE ROMEO AND...

JULIET.

Mary! How could I have shot you ?

Coppers! Jimmy! Out the back! Hury!

I have to face my punishment. Don't you get it?

Jack was holding the gun. He's planning to frame you.

Nobody move! Officer, thank God !

This kid burst in here with a gun, and started shootin' and laughin'!

We think he mighta been smoking that, reefer!

Just like you read about in the papers.

No! That's a lie!

Tell 'em what really happened Mae!

Ma'am, do you have anything to say ? Well, I...Jimmy I,

Officer I... Mae, please !

No.

The kid burst in shooting. Just like the man said.

Mae ?

No !

Kid's gonna burn for this.

Pity. Attractive girl.

After a swift trial James Fenimore Harperwas found guilty

of the murder, of Mary Lane. And sent to death row.

In his thought-provoking book "Marijuana, Weed of Madness "

Earle A. Rowell explains how marijuana causes prison inmates to fall

desperately in love with each other.

Just as they would with women, outside prison walls.

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. America Let's go to press.

Tonight, Jimmy "The Cannabis Killer" Harper walks the last mile to the electric chair.

Convicted of murder under the influence of the new drug menace, marijuana!

Shut up, shut up!

We can't just let Jimmy die. Shut up, shut up!

Look, the kid's yesterday's headlines, there's nothing' we can do about it.

When's Jack bringin' some new boys home ? Shut up, shut up!

You shut up! What are you, nuts ?

I'm fine.

Perfectly in control !

REMEMBER ME RALPH? I'M ABOUT TO FRY.

WHILE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS STAND IDLY BY MY LIFE IS NOWA TICKING BOMB.

I'M GONNA MISS MY SENIOR PROM.

YOU MURDERED ME RALPH!

MURDERED ME! MURDERED YOU?

MURDERED ME! MURDERED HIM ?

Evemhing okay up there? It's the kid! He's in the toilet!

Just flush him, Ralph.

You better cool off on the muggles there Just a little hungy, that's all.

REMEMBER ME RALPH ? I'VE BEEN SENT TO HELL.

A PUBESCENT EDITION OF JEIEBEL.

IT HURTS A LOT TO BEND,

BUT AT LEAST I'VE MADE A FRIEND.

YOU MURDERED HER, RALPH!

MURDERED ME! MURDERED YOU?

MURDERED ME! MURDERED THEM!

What's eatin' him? Jack! I saw Satan!

And the kid! And Satan! And the girl! That mug's wound up like an $ day clock !

One too many giggle sticks. put your flaps down before you take off.

Go get some air. No! Jack! Not out there, Jack!

Just a little too much weed, that's all.

Just an ordinay scarecrow !

OPEN THE GATE AND ABANDON HOPE

WITH THE GHOSTS OF THE KIDS THAT GOT HOOKED ON DOPE.

WAY DOWN WHERE IT'S HOT,

THEYARE SAVING US A SPOT.

YOU MURDERED THEM, RALPH!

MURDERED 'EM! MURDERED 'EM! MURDERED 'EM! MURDERED 'EM!

Bad zombies!

HE'S LOSING IT, JACK! GEE, YOU DON'T SUPPOSE.

HE'S LIABLE TO CRACK AND SPILL ALL HE KNOWS

HE'S REALLYACTING WEIRD.

PERHAPS IT'S TIME HE DISAPPEARED!

HE'D NEVER BE MISSED ! I COULD... MURDER HIM! MURDER HIM!

Jack, no! you'll have the police right back here!

Alright. We'll play it yourway, for now. for now.

He bit me! Jack? I got me the munchies real bad.

He's givin' me the creepin' heebie-jeebies

Let's go get Ralph a bite. Yeah, he's liable to wake the neighbors

You stay. Keep an eye on him.

I don't like the way he's lookin' at me.

Shake a leg with that grub ! Leg. Grub.

Yoo hoo, Ralph! We have take-away from Dim Foo's!

Sally? Ralph? Where'd they go ?

They best not have skipped town. Sally? Ralph?

Yah!

Blumsack!

Yah!

I FOUND ME A SNACK IT WAS NICE AND FRESH.

THE WEED MADE HIM HUNGRY FOR HUMAN FLESH !

STEP AWAYYOU MUG. 'CAUSE THAT'S A BRAND NEW PERSIAN RUG

HE'S NOT GONNA STOP!

MURDER HIM! MURDER HIM! MURDER HIM! MURDER HIM!

Ralph?

Oh God, oh God, oh God,

Oh God, oh God, oh God, Mae! Don't get queer on me now.

Oh God, oh.

Damn body!

OPEN THE GATE AND ABANDON HOPE,

WITH THE GHOSTS OF THE KIDS THAT GOT HOOKED ON DOPE.

NOW I SEE THEM JACK!

AND THEYALL WANT THEIR CHILDHOODS BACK !

WE MURDERED THEM, JACK !

MURDERED 'EM! MURDERED 'EM!

OPEN THE GATE AND ABANDON HOPE

WITH THE GHOSTS OF THE KIDS THAT GOT HOOKED ON DOPE!

PULL IT TOGETHER. DON'T FLIP YOUR SKIRT.

YOU DO THE THINGS YOU GOTTA DO IN THIS DOG EAT DOG EAT DOG WORLD.

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST THE WINNER IS THE LAST ONE LEFT ALIVE

SO YOU MURDER 'EM, BEFORE THEY MURDER YOU.

Well, on the bright side, we finally got the place to ourselves.

Ralph and Sally, and little...

whatsername are dead! Jimmy's on his way to the electric chair

and you couldn't care less!

I may be a monster, but you Jack, you're the devil!

So long as I'm the number one guy.

THE KID'S A GONER,

THEY'RE GONNA MAKE HIM PAY FOR THE STUFF.

Here, simmer down, will ya?

I'VE SEEN MY HONOR,

ROLLED UP AND BURNED AWAY, WITH THE STUFF

WELL, IT'S GOTTA STOP.

Let go of me! I'm tying to comfort you here.

I said let go!

I SHOULD SHOW HIM THE DOOR,

HE TREATS ME LIKE AWHORE.

I DON'T NEED JACK NO MORE

OR THE STUFF!

You dumb slut! That was half ajay of good mooteryou just wasted.

I know.

Hey!

What are you doing with that garden hoe ?

Taking care of a big, fat, weed !

Oh, that's it.

Say good night, Gracie.

Good night, Gracie.

SO THIS IS IT JACK,.

LAST NIGHT OF BALLYHOO FOR THE STUFF.

Get away from me,

THIS ONE'S FOR RALPH, JACK ! HERE'S ONE FOR SALLY, TOO.

HAD ENOUGH?

YEAH, YOU'RE NOT SO TOUGH!

YOU ONCE HAD ALL THE BRAINS,

NOW THEY'RE JUST CARPET STAINS!

YOU'RE IN NO SHAPE TO FIGHT.

MY BID TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT.

'CAUSE THERE'S BLOOD UPON YOUR NECKTIE,

YOUR CORPUS IS DELECTI

AND I HAVE BEEN DELIVERED FROM THE STUFF!

You've sent Thelma into shock ! Yourwife's lack of fortitude

is no fault of this presentation. I dare say our hardy pioneer women

would have shared a laugh at her expense. So what of Mae Coleman ?

With Jack out of the picture, Mae was determined to rescue doomed Jimmy.

But fate was about to intervene in a most dramatic fashion.

I see the Presidential motorcade turning onto Halpern Street.

Mr. President. Ah, Mr. President!

Mr. President,, I need to talk with you ! Step back, ma'am.

It is a known scientific fact, that under the influence of marijuana,

the user becomes insatiably violent. capable of staggering feats of strength.

Unfortunately for Mae Coleman...

she was no longer under the influence.

I'm don't...so, terribly sorry. I don't know what came over me.

Please, help me up.

Mr. President! An innocent boy is about to be executed! Listen to me!

Hold on boys! I, for one, would like to hear

what the blood-spattered young lady has to say.

James Fenimore Harper,

you have been convicted of the murder of Mary Lane

and sentenced to death by electrocution

in accordance with the laws of this great state.

Any last words?

Well put. Pull the switch.

Stop the execution !

We have a Presidential Pardon !

Mae, am I ever glad to see you ! ! And you too, Mr. President.

I knew you wouldn't let me die. I was hoping you wouldn't cut it so close.

I'm sorry kid. But now we're gonna be okay.

Jimmy, I've heard a lot about you.

and we've read all about you in school, Mr. President.

I promise never to touch the reefer again.

Oh, that's simply grand!

You know, a little orphan girl once told me

that the sun would come out tomorrow.

Her adopted father was a billionaire, so I suppressed the urge,

urge to laugh in her face, but now I think she might have been right !

THE TRAGIC VICTIM OF DRUG ABUSE

HAS NOW BEEN SPARED FOR A HIGHER USE.

THEYWERE READY TO COOK MY GOOSE,

BUT GOD HAD OTHER PLANS!

He works in mysterious ways, Jimmy.

I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING INSIDE HAS STIRRED.

AT LONG, LONG LAST LET THE TRUTH BE HEARD.

GO FORTH JIMMY, AND SPREAD THE WORD.

FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA. YOU HAVE BEEN SET...

FREE, TO TELL... THE TRUTH ABOUT THE WISDOM WE HAVE LEARNED !

GONNA TELL 'EM THE TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH. EVERYBODY GOTTA KNOW, OH, OH.

ALL ABOUT THE DEMON WEED. HOW IT GROWS FROM A DEMON SEED! Indeed!

THAT PUNGENT SMOKE WILL ROT YOUR BRAIN 'TIL YOU'RE INCURABLE INSANE.

TRUST US TO TELL THEM THE TRUTH.

GONNA TELL 'EM THE TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH. EVERYBODY GOTTA KNOW, OH, OH.

WITH VOICES RAISED IN SONG, WE'RE BANISHING THE BONG! So long!

OUR CHILDREN TEETER ON THE BRINK. WE NEED TO TEACH THEM WHAT TO THINK.

TRUST US TO TELL THEM THE TRUTH.

WE'VE GOT TO CAPTURE THE NATION'S EAR.

SPREAD THE WORD 'CROSS THE HEMISPHERE.

BUT THERE AREN'T THAT MANY PEOPLE HERE.

AND ONE OF US IS LAME !

Not to wory, Jimmy!

WE'LL USE THE PAPERS OF MR. HEARST.

FLOOD THE AIRWAYS UNTIL THEY'VE BURST

WITH CATCHY SLOGANS WE'VE ALL REHEARSED.

AND ICONOGRAPHY!

IT'S UNCLE SAM... GEORGE WASHINGTON...

AND LADY LIBERTY!

GONNA TELL 'EM THE TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH. EVERYBODY GOTTA KNOW, OH, OH.

JUST WHO TO DEMONIIE. WHAT POLITICS TO DESPISE!

WE'RE TAKING DOWN THE FINGERPRINTS OF JAZZ MUSICIANS AND IMMIGRANTS.

TRUST US TO TELL THEM THE TRUTH.

GONNA TELL 'EM THE TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH EVERYBODY GOTTA KNOW, OH, OH.

THE ABC'S OF SPIN. AND TURNIN' YOUR NEIGHBORS IN. Or kin!

IT ALL COMES DOWN TO APPLE PIE! GEORGE WASHINGTON WOULD NEVER LIE.

TRUST US TO TELL THEM,

GONNA TELL 'EM THE TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH. EVERYBODY GOTTA KNOW, OH, OH.

LET EVERY SIR AND MA'AM, OBBEY THEIR UNCLE SAM !

THAT FAMOUS FINGER'S SET TO POINT. I WANT YOU TO DROP THAT JOINT !

GONNA TELL 'EM THE TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH EVERYBODY GOTTA KNOW, OH, OH.

GIVE ME YOUR TIRED, GIVE ME YOUR POOR. GIVE ME YOUR HUDDLED MASSES

YEARNING TO BREATHE FREE OF REEFER SMOKE!

FREEDOM! FREEDOM!

I LOVE YOU ROMEO!

PLEASE WAIT FOR ME, JULIET!

ONE DAY I'LL GET CANCER OR HIT BYA TRAIN !

AND WE'LL BE REUNITED IN HEAVEN !

IT'S TIME FOR PARENTS TO TAKE A STAND

FOR THE PRESERVATION OF THIS GREAT LAND.

'TIL THE THINGS THAT SCARE US ARE BURNED OR BANNED

OR SMASHED TO SMITHEREENS!

AND ONCE THE REEFER HAS BEEN DESTROYED

WE'LL START ON DARWIN AND SIGMUND FREUD

AND SEX DEPICTED ON CELLULOID

AND COMMUNISTS AND QUEENS!

WHEN DANGER'S NEAR, EXPLOIT THEIR FEAR.

THE END WILL JUSTIFY THE MEANS...

MEANS...

REEFER MADNESS!