Original subtitles

Mary: HURRY! GET THE BALL!

Laura: CATCH IT!

Man: WHOA!

OH. COME ON.

DON'T WORRY.

Laura: HI! YOU COMING TO SCHOOL HERE?

THAT'S WHAT MY PA SAYS.

THAT'S MY PA RIGHT THERE.

- HOWDY. - HI.

MY NAME'S LAURA INGALLS. WHAT'S YOURS?

LUKE SIMMS.

HI.

I'M NELLIE OLESON.

WE OWN THE MERCANTILE.

OH, UH, THAT'S NICE.

Man: COME ON, SON.

EXCUSE ME.

Luke: BYE.

Laura: SEE YOU IN SCHOOL.

YEAH.

DON'T YOU HAVE ANY MANNERS?

SURE. I GOT PLENTY OF MANNERS.

ALL BAD. IT ISN'T PROPER

FOR THE GIRL TO SPEAK FIRST TO THE BOY.

WELL, THAT'S OLD-FASHIONED AND DUMB!

WHY, MR. SIMMS, I'M SURE WE'LL ALL BE VERY HAPPY

TO HAVE LUKE IN OUR CLASSROOM.

IT'LL BE GOOD FOR HIM IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE, MISS.

OH?

SINCE HIS MA DIED A COUPLE YEARS AGO,

HE AIN'T HAD NO WOMAN'S TOUCH IN HIS LIFE.

WELL, WE'LL SEE WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT THAT.

LUKE, WHY DON'T YOU STAY IN HERE?

AND I HAVE TO GO OUT AND RING FOR THE CHILDREN.

Luke: OW!

Beadle: I'M SORRY.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MISS BEADLE.

I GOT REAL HARD FEET.

YOU'RE NOT WEARING ANY SHOES.

WELL, UH, NO, MA'AM.

I GUESS I JUST NEVER FANCIED 'EM.

I THINK THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL GETTING OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT.

[BOTH LAUGH]

THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

NOW, IF SHOES IS NEEDED FOR SCHOOL, I'LL GET LUKE SOME.

OH, MR. SIMMS, PLEASE DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT, I...

I'M MUCH MORE INTERESTED IN WHAT GOES INTO THE MIND

THAN WHAT GOES ONTO THE BODY.

YOU KNOW, I FEEL REAL SURE THE BOY WILL BE IN GOOD HANDS

WITH YOU TEACHING HIM, MISS BEADLE.

OH, THANK YOU.

[RINGING]

CLASS, WE HAVE A NEW STUDENT.

HIS NAME IS LUKE SIMMS.

I HOPE YOU'LL MAKE HIM FEEL AT HOME.

Children: HI, LUKE.

HOWDY.

NOW, LET'S SEE. WHERE SHALL WE SEAT HIM?

HE CAN SIT HERE, MISS BEADLE.

OH, THANK YOU, NELLIE.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHILDREN YELLING]

ISN'T HE SOMETHING?

HE SURE CAN HIT A BASEBALL.

THAT RUN HOME DESERVES A REWARD.

YOU MEAN HOME RUN.

OF COURSE. HOW SILLY OF ME.

FOR YOU,

THE BEST CANDY IN THE MERCANTILE.

UH, NO, THANKS.

THEN I SUPPOSE YOU WOULDN'T WANT

TO EAT LUNCH WITH ME SOMETIME?

WELL, SURE. I'D LIKE THAT.

YOU WOULD?

UH-HUH.

I'LL BET LUKE'S THE STRONGEST BOY IN SCHOOL,

AND HE'S EASILY THE NICEST.

MA?

MM-HMM.

CAN I INVITE HIM TO TAKE SUPPER WITH US?

OH, WELL...

I'LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT, DARLING.

AFTER ALL, WHAT DO WE REALLY KNOW ABOUT THE SIMMS?

OH, MA.

WELL?

YOU KNOW IT'S NOT EASY BEING THE RICHEST GIRL IN TOWN.

Harriet: OH! HA HA!

HOW WELL I KNOW THAT!

POOR PEOPLE DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND

THE TERRIBLE RESPONSIBILITIES OF...

OF US MORE FORTUNATE ONES:

SETTING AN EXAMPLE

AND RAISING THE, UH... THE SPIRITUAL AND...

AND CULTURAL STANDARDS FOR THE COMMUNITY.

UH, WHAT DOES HIS FATHER, MR. SIMMS, DO?

WELL, ALL I KNOW IS HE SOLD A BIG FARM BACK IN ILLINOIS,

AND HE'S INVESTING SOME OF THE MONEY IN THE OLD CLANTON FARM.

HMM.

WELL, UH...

WHY IS IT THAT HE HASN'T BEEN IN TO THE MERCANTILE

TO GET HIS SUPPLIES?

IS HE GETTING HIS SUPPLIES SOMEPLACE ELSE, DO YOU THINK?

OH, NO. THEY'RE JUST SETTLING IN.

I'M SURE THEY'LL BE NEEDING LOTS OF SUPPLIES.

OH.

WELL... I TELL YOU WHAT.

WHY DON'T YOU ASK, UH, LUKE

FOR SUPPER TOMORROW NIGHT?

THANK YOU, MA.

THINK WE WAS GOING TO CHURCH INSTEAD OF SUPPER.

WELL, WE HAVE TO LET THE WOMENFOLK

HAVE THEIR FUSS AND FEATHERS EVERY NOW AND THEN.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

WELL, YOU WORK ON IT.

IT'LL COME TO YOU.

WELL, LET'S GO.

MOTHER, HOW DO I LOOK?

OH, HONEY. YOU LOOK LOVELY. NOW FOR THE 20th TIME,

DON'T BOTHER ME, HUH?

MOTHER, HE'S COMING!

Harriet: ALL RIGHT! EVERYTHING'S READY. I'M COMING.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

WELCOME TO THE OLESON RESIDENCE.

HI, NELLIE.

PLEASE COME IN.

THIS IS MY FATHER.

- HOWDY. - LUKE.

- AND MY BROTHER. - HI.

IS THIS WHAT I GOT ALL DRESSED UP FOR?

YOU'RE NOT EVEN WEARING A SUIT.

Harriet: AH!

Nellie: AND THIS IS MY MOTHER.

Luke: HI.

AH...

UH...

SUPPER IS S-SERVED.

NELS.

OH.

WHY, HE CAN'T EVEN AFFORD A SHIRT,

LET ALONE SHOES.

WELL, MAYBE HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A FORMAL PARTY.

CARVE THE ROAST--

AND 5 SLICES ONLY.

LUKE, YOU SIT RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME.

THANK YOU.

[NELS CLEARS THROAT]

ALL RIGHT.

AH. HERE WE GO.

GUESTS FIRST.

LUKE.

THANK YOU.

POTATOES, MA'AM?

WELL, UH...

WHAT CROP DOES YOUR FATHER RAISE, LUKE?

OH, UH, PIGS.

I MIGHT HAVE KNOWN.

RAISES HOGS, TOO.

WHY DON'T, UH-- WANT TO PASS UP YOUR PLATES FOR THE MEAT?

OH, I'LL PASS THE PLATTER, FATHER.

Nels: ALL RIGHT. CAREFUL. THERE WE GO.

HELP YOURSELF, LUKE.

THANK YOU.

OH.

Harriet: ARE YOU SURE YOU WOULDN'T LIKE MORE?

OH, UH, NO, THANKS, MA'AM.

MY PA SAYS IT'S KIND OF IMPOLITE TO,

UH, TAKE MORE THAN ONE PIECE.

MOTHER DEAR?

I SEEM TO HAVE LOST MY APPETITE.

I WONDER WHY.

YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE.

IT HAS PIGS IN IT.

WHY, IT'S JUST LIKE YOU WAS THERE!

[YAWNING LOUDLY]

OH, MY! HA HA!

I THINK IT'S GETTING CLOSE TO BEDTIME.

MY PA SAID NOT TO OVERSTAY MY WELCOME.

WELL, YOU ALWAYS MUST LISTEN

TO YOUR PA.

YES'M.

THANK YOU FOR THE SWELL EATS, MRS. OLESON.

THEY WAS REAL GOOD.

YES.

AND THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME, NELLIE.

ANYTIME, LUKE.

WELL, UH...UH, BYE.

[MUMBLES] GOOD NIGHT.

ISN'T HE JUST PERFECT?

[SCREAMS]

[STOMPING FEET AND SCREAMING]

MOTHER! WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHAT'S THE MATTER?!

HE IS IMPOSSIBLE! THAT'S WHAT'S THE MATTER,

AND I ABSOLUTELY FORBID YOU TO SEE HIM EVER AGAIN!

Nellie: BUT I HAVE TO!

I MEAN, WE GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER.

OH! I MEAN OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL.

WHY?

[IMITATING NELLIE] "WHY?"

BECAUSE HE IS NOT A SUITABLE PERSON

FOR YOU TO ASSOCIATE WITH.

NOW, CLEARLY THE SIMMS ARE NOT OUR EQUALS

IN ANY MANNER, SHAPE, OR FORM.

I DON'T CARE!

BESIDES, LUKE SAYS HE'S GOING TO HAVE

ONE OF THE BIGGEST PIG FARMS IN MINNESOTA SOMEDAY.

[SIGHS]

WE, UH...

WE ALL HAVE OUR AMBITIONS IN LIFE,

NELLIE DARLING,

AND ONE OF MINE IS NOT TO SEE YOU BECOME

THE MINNESOTA PIG QUEEN!

[NELLIE SHRIEKS]

OOH!

A PIG FARMER.

UGH!

WANT TO GO COON HUNTING AGAIN TONIGHT, NELLIE?

IT'S ALWAYS FUN GOING WITH YOU,

EVEN IF WE DON'T CATCH ANYTHING.

YEAH, WELL, YOU JUST WAIT TILL I GET

THAT NEW RIFLE I'VE BEEN SAVING FOR. THEN I'LL SHOW YA.

I BET YOU WILL. SEE YOU TONIGHT, LUKE.

I PROMISED MOTHER I'D BE HOME

RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL TO STUDY. BYE.

BYE.

Mrs. Oleson: OH, YES, AND ANOTHER THING.

NELLIE HAS BEEN GOING TO HER ROOM EARLY

RECENTLY TO STUDY. HA HA.

HOWEVER, WITH ALL THAT STUDY,

HER GRADES ARE DOWN.

NELS?

WHAT?

[SCOFFS] YOU NEVER LISTEN.

I TRY TO.

WHAT? NOT TO LISTEN?

I'M READING.

WELL, I'M SPEAKING.

I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER.

NOW, SHE'S NOT SEEING THAT PIG FARMER,

LUKE WHATEVER-HE-IS, ANYMORE

EXCEPT IN SCHOOL, OF COURSE.

AW, HE MAY HAVE A FEW ROUGH EDGES,

BUT I KIND OF LIKE THE BOY.

UH-HUH. WELL, YOU NEVER HAD ANY TASTE.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

WHAT?

I SAID, GOOD NIGHT.

YOU KNOW, SATURDAY'S FLAG DAY.

THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE A CORN SHUCKING DOWN AT MILLER'S BARN.

THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE FIREWORKS AND EVERYTHING.

I KNOW.

WELL, UH...

I WAS WONDERING IF MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO GO WITH ME.

I'D LOVE TO.

SATURDAY HAPPENS TO BE MY BIRTHDAY ALSO.

GOOD. WE CAN CELEBRATE.

I'M ALMOST FULL-GROWN NOW...

A WOMAN.

[NELLIE GIGGLING]

I'M--

AHA!

CAUGHT YOU, YOUNG LADY!

WHY! MY OWN DAUGHTER

DECEIVING ME.

JUST A LITTLE.

JUST A LITTLE? I'LL "JUST A LITTLE" YOU!

HOW DARE YOU?

NO WONDER YOUR SCHOOLWORK HAS BEEN SUFFERING.

WHY, YOU'VE BEEN SNEAKING OUT NIGHTS ALL ALONG,

MEETING THAT PIG FARMER, HAVEN'T YOU?

WELL? LOOK AT ME!

HAVEN'T YOU?!

[SIGHS] ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S THE END OF THAT, YOUNG LADY. THAT'S THE END OF IT.

THAT'S THE END OF WHAT?

YOUR DAUGHTER...

SNEAKING OUT NIGHTS

MEETING PIG FARMERS.

THOUGHT IT WAS THE END OF THE WORLD.

WELL, IT IS, NELS!

IT IS!

[YAWNING] NOT TILL 8:00.

THAT'S WHEN THE STORE OPENS.

OH! YOU'RE NO HELP.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS...

OR THE PIG BY THE EARS!

WHATEVER I HAVE TO DO TO NIP THIS THING IN THE BUD.

NOW, GET UPSTAIRS AND GET TO BED! THIS MINUTE! HURRY UP!

AH! MISS BEADLE.

YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

ABOUT WHAT, MRS. OLESON?

ABOUT MY NELLIE AND THAT LUKE SIMMS, THAT'S WHAT.

SHE'S BEEN SNEAKING OUT NIGHTS MEETING HIM.

WELL, I DON'T SEE WHAT I CAN DO ABOUT THAT, MRS. OLESON.

WELL, YOU CAN SPEAK TO HIS FATHER. THAT'S WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

MRS. OLESON, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

NOW, WHY SHOULD I BE THE ONE TO TALK TO MR. SIMMS?

BECAUSE IT'S YOUR DUTY.

YOU'RE THE TEACHER, AREN'T YOU?

NOW, MY NELLIE'S SCHOOLWORK IS BEING AFFECTED

BY CONSORTING WITH THAT BAREFOOT BUMPKIN.

[SIGHS] WELL, UH...

ALL RIGHT, MRS. OLESON.

I'LL BE HAPPY TO SPEAK TO MR. SIMMS.

GOOD.

Miss Beadle: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

GOOD AFTERNOON, MISS BEADLE.

GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. SIMMS.

CAN I HELP YOU DOWN?

OH, THANK YOU.

OH.

NICE TO SEE YOU.

SOMETHING ABOUT LUKE?

OH, YES, BUT IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS.

UH...WHY DON'T YOU CONTINUE WITH YOUR WORK, AND WE CAN TALK?

GOTTA FEED THE PIGS.

[PIGS GRUNTING AND SQUEALING]

ACTUALLY, MRS. OLESON ASKED ME TO COME OUT HERE AND SPEAK TO YOU.

IT SEEMS THAT LUKE'S SEEING NELLIE NIGHTS,

AND, UH, IT'S INTERFERING WITH HER SCHOOLWORK.

OH. I'M SORRY.

OF COURSE, I KNEW LUKE WAS TAKING NELLIE HUNTING.

DIDN'T SEE ANY HARM IN IT. NO.

Simms: BUT-- EXCUSE ME--I'LL TALK TO THE BOY ABOUT IT.

Beadle: THANK YOU.

Simms: BUT, YOU KNOW, THE WAY I LOOK AT IT,

IF THE KIDS REALLY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER,

THEN NOBODY OUGHT TO KEEP THEM FROM SEEING EACH OTHER.

OH, I AGREE.

FACT IS...

PEOPLE BEING WHAT THEY ARE, AND, UH...

HUH--LOVE BEING WHAT IT IS...

PROBABLY NOBODY

COULD KEEP 'EM FROM SEEING EACH OTHER.

OH, I THINK LOVE'S A WONDERFUL THING.

I THINK IT SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED...

UH, UNLESS IT INTERFERES

WITH YOUR WORK, OF COURSE.

LOOK AT THEM! HA HA HA!

SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE PIGS.

OH, I THINK THEY'RE KIND OF CUTE.

YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE A LOT OF GOOD QUALITIES:

ALWAYS A GOOD CROP,

NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE WEATHER,

AND, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN USE JUST ABOUT EVERY PART OF A PORKER THERE IS,

EXCEPT MAYBE THE GRUNT.

UH, EXCUSE ME JUST A MINUTE.

SURELY.

I'D LIKE YOU TO HAVE THIS.

OH, MR. SIMMS, NO. I COULDN'T--

PLEASE, MISS. I GOT PLENTY.

IT'S SORT OF BY WAY OF SAYING THANKS

FOR YOU TAKING THE TROUBLE TO COME ALL THE WAY OUT HERE.

YOU KNOW, I AIN'T HAD MUCH SCHOOLING.

I RECKON THAT'S EASY TO SEE,

BUT THE LITTLE BIT I HAD, I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS

FOR KIDS TO HAVE A TEACHER THAT CARES...

LIKE YOU.

I THINK IT'S AS IMPORTANT

TO HAVE A PARENT WHO CARES,

LIKE YOU, MR. SIMMS.

ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.

OH, IT'S HEAVY. HA HA HA!

MISS BEADLE, I'D SURE APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD SEE FIT

TO CALL ME BY MY GIVEN NAME.

IT'S ADAM.

ALL RIGHT. ADAM.

YOU'LL HAVE TO CALL ME EVA.

ALL RIGHT. HA HA!

ADAM AND EVA.

HA HA! THIS AIN'T EXACTLY NO GARDEN OF EDEN.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Laura: RACE YOU.

Nellie: LUKE, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TODAY?

OH, UH, NOTHING, NELLIE.

I GOT TO DO SOMETHING REAL IMPORTANT.

MARY, WAIT UP!

Mary: HEY, LAURA!

Laura: YEAH?

LAURA, TELL MA I'LL BE A LITTLE LATE, ALL RIGHT?

I'M GOING TO STAY IN TOWN FOR A WHILE.

ALL RIGHT.

OK, SHE'S GONE. LET'S GO.

SHE'S GOING TO BE AWFUL MAD AT YOU.

I THINK THIS ONE'S THE PRETTIEST.

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT, MARY?

I THINK ANY GIRL WOULD LIKE IT, LUKE.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

WHAT'S THE RED THING?

WHY, THAT'S A GENUINE RUBY.

A GENUINE IMITATION.

OH. WELL, HOW MUCH?

Nels: $1.05.

HEY, I CAN BUY THAT, MARY.

I'VE GOT $1.17 RIGHT HERE.

I'LL GIVE YOU A BOX TO PUT IT IN.

THANKS AGAIN, MR. OLESON.

YOU REALLY LIKE IT?

OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

IT REALLY IS.

I SURE DO.

- MOTHER? - YES?

WHAT WAS LUKE DOING IN HERE WITH MARY INGALLS?

UH, HE, UH...

HE BOUGHT HER A RING.

IT WAS AN ENGAGEMENT RING, I THINK.

OH, NOW, DIDN'T MOTHER TELL YOU

THAT HE'S NOT FOR YOU?

HMM? AND DOESN'T MOTHER ALWAYS KNOW

WHAT'S BEST FOR HER LITTLE GIRL?

YOU HAVE TO LEARN ABOUT MEN, NELLIE DEAR.

THEY ARE ALL FICKLE AS WEATHER VANES.

SHUT UP!

OH! BUT--

NELLIE, WHAT'S WRONG?

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

OH, COME ON. YOU CAN TELL ME.

MAYBE I CAN HELP.

[SOBBING]

THAT LUKE SIMMS, HE PRETENDED TO LIKE ME.

THEN HE WENT AND BOUGHT MARY INGALLS A RING.

IT ISN'T FAIR.

NO, IT'S NOT FAIR.

AND THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE LUKE.

I'M NEVER GONNA GET MARRIED, MISS BEADLE.

I'M GONNA WIND UP AN OLD MAID, LIKE YOU.

[SIGHS]

WELL, NELLIE...

WAIT A MINUTE, NELLIE. I HAVE AN IDEA.

WHY DON'T I GO OUT THERE AND TALK TO HIS FATHER

AND LUKE, OF COURSE.

AND I'LL TELL HIM THAT THE LEAST HE CAN DO IS TO--

TELL HIM I HATE HIM!

NO, DEAR. I DON'T THINK THAT WILL HELP.

Miss Beadle: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

GOOD AFTERNOON, EVA.

I CAME OUT HERE TO SAY THAT ANYONE WHO LEADS A YOUNG LADY ON

AND THEN JUST LETS IT DROP IS NOT A VERY NICE PERSON.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. I WAS--

LUKE, HOW COULD YOU BE SO INCONSIDERATE

AS TO HURT POOR NELLIE OLESON LIKE THAT?

ME HURT NELLIE?

WELL, SHUCKS, MISS BEADLE,

I'D NEVER DO NOTHING TO HURT NELLIE.

SHE'S KIND OF LIKE MY GIRL.

WELL, THEN WOULD YOU MIND EXPLAINING

THE RING THAT YOU BOUGHT FOR MARY INGALLS?

SHOOT. I DIDN'T BUY THAT RING FOR MARY.

SHE JUST HELPED ME PICK IT OUT.

IT'S FOR NELLIE'S BIRTHDAY.

SPENT MOST OF THE MONEY HE WAS SAVING TOWARD A RIFLE ON IT.

Luke: IT WAS WORTH IT FOR NELLIE.

OH, LUKE, I'M SORRY.

I APOLOGIZE. I CAN SEE NOW IT WAS

JUST AN UNFORTUNATE MISUNDERSTANDING.

THAT'S OK. I'M GOING TO GIVE HER THE RING

TOMORROW NIGHT BEFORE WE GO TO THE CORN SHUCKING.

OH, GOOD. I'M SURE IT WILL BE A JOYFUL SURPRISE.

I HOPE SO.

LUKE, YOU WANT TO FINISH MENDING THAT FENCE?

SURE, PA.

[SIGHS]

PIGS BREAK OUT ALL THE TIME, ROOTING FOR FOOD.

OH, ADAM, I FEEL SO FOOLISH.

NO, EVA. YOU HAD A RIGHT TO BE UPSET FROM WHAT YOU HEARD.

I NEVER THOUGHT MUCH MYSELF

OF A MAN WHO DIDN'T TREAT A WOMAN TENDER AND RESPECTFUL.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HE'D BE MORE LIKE HIS FATHER.

DARN IT.

DON'T WORRY. I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT LUKE DOES RIGHT BY NELLIE.

I KNOW YOU WILL, ADAM.

MATTER OF FACT, UH...

I'D GO TO THAT CORN SHUCKING MYSELF

JUST TO FOLLOW UP ON IT, OF COURSE,

IF, UH...IF I HAD ANYBODY TO GO WITH.

OH.

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING MYSELF.

I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA.

RIGHT OUT OF THE BLUE, YOU MIGHT SAY.

OH?

EVA, WHY DON'T WE GO TOGETHER?

WHY, ADAM, THAT'S A VERY SENSIBLE SUGGESTION.

IT MAKES SENSE TO ME.

[CHUCKLES]

OH, WELL...

TILL TOMORROW, THEN.

GIDDYUP, JACK.

[HARRIET SIGHS]

ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO COME WITH US?

I'M SURE.

[SIGHS]

PIGS!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

GO AWAY!

[KNOCK KNOCK]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NELLIE.

W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I COME TO TAKE YOU TO THE SHUCKING.

THESE ARE FOR YOU.

THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

COME IN.

THANK YOU.

WELL, THIS IS FOR YOU, TOO.

OH, LUKE.

I HOPE IT FITS.

IT'S PERFECT.

THANK YOU.

I...

I THOUGHT...

WHAT?

NEVER MIND.

EVERYTHING'S PERFECT NOW.

I'LL JUST GO CHANGE MY DRESS.

WHAT FOR?

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

YOU REALLY MEAN IT?

I SURE DO.

COME ON. LET'S GO.

BEING LATE, I EXPECT WE MIGHT HAVE MISSED SOMETHING...

LIKE THE FIREWORKS.

YEAH.

[FIREWORKS EXPLODING]

[MUSIC PLAYING ON SOUNDTRACK, CONVERSATION INAUDIBLE]

EVA...

I RECKON YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU...

FEELING LIKE I DO,

I WAS HOPING...

AHH.

I'M JUST A DUMB, UNEDUCATED PIG FARMER.

ADAM SIMMS, DON'T YOU DARE TALK LIKE THAT!

NOW, THERE'S A LOT MORE TO EDUCATION...

- THAN BOOK LEARNING. - EVA--

NOW, LOOK, YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT PIGS, MORE ABOUT HOGS,

AND MORE ABOUT FARMING THAN I'LL EVER KNOW.

AND WHAT'S MORE, YOU HAVE WONDERFUL QUALITIES.

YOU'VE GOT SPECIAL QUALITIES

THAT SO-CALLED EDUCATED PEOPLE WILL NEVER HAVE,

AND YOU'RE A GOOD MAN,

AND YOU'RE A GOOD FATHER,

AND YOU'RE KIND AND CONSIDERATE AND--

EVA, WILL YOU STOP?

I WILL IF YOU WANT ME TO. I WAS JUST TRYING TO SHOW--

WELL, IF YOU DON'T STOP,

I CAN'T ASK YOU TO DO ME THE HONOR OF, UH...

BECOMING MY WIFE.

ADAM...

ADAM, YOU DO ME THE HONOR.

LOOK, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU.

I...I JUST HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO CONSIDER.

I MEAN, THINK ABOUT MY AGE

AND MY WORK AND MY RESPONSIBILITIES,

AND...AND THERE'S JUST A NUMBER OF--

MISS BEADLE...

YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN.

SO I AM. [CHUCKLES]

I'M SORRY.

TAKE YOUR TIME.

I WANT YOU TO BE SURE THAT IT'S FOR GOOD.

OK.

LOOKS LIKE PA IS FIXING TO MARRY AGAIN.

DO YOU MIND?

NO. I'LL BE GLAD.

MA AND PA-- THEY WAS ALWAYS SO HAPPY TOGETHER.

MAYBE IT'S TIME I THOUGHT ABOUT SETTLING DOWN.

HOW ABOUT IT, NELLIE?

HOW ABOUT WHAT?

WELL, UH... YOU AND ME GETTING HITCHED.

US?

MARRIED?

OH, LUKE, I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW IF I'M OLD ENOUGH...

OR IF I REALLY KNOW ENOUGH TO BE A WIFE...

OR THAT I'M REALLY GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

SHUCKS, SURE YOU ARE, NELLIE.

I'D BE RIGHT HAPPY TO HAVE YOU FOR A MISSIS,

AND MY MA MARRIED WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER THAN YOU.

I'D HAVE TO THINK ON IT, LUKE.

WELL, JUST DON'T GO ASKING YOUR MA, OK?

THAT'S THE LAST THING I'D DO.

MISS BEADLE?

OH. HELLO, NELLIE.

MIND IF I ASK,

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MARRIAGE?

WELL, THAT'S FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK ME THAT.

I THINK MARRIAGE IS A WONDERFUL INSTITUTION.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A VERY NOBLE CALLING FOR A WOMAN--

TO BE A WIFE, HOMEMAKER, HELPMATE...

KEEPER OF THE PRESENT,

MOTHER OF THE FUTURE.

KEEPER OF THE PRESENT... MOTHER OF THE FUTURE.

BUT WHAT ABOUT AGE?

AGE SHOULDN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE WHEN 2 PEOPLE ARE IN LOVE.

NOTHING SHOULD STAND IN THE WAY OF LOVE--

NOT PEOPLE, NOT POSITION, NOT MONEY, NOTHING.

THANK YOU, MISS BEADLE.

HI, NELLIE.

LUKE, I'VE DECIDED TO ACCEPT YOUR PROPOSAL.

YOU HAVE? WELL, WE GOT TO MAKE SOME PLANS.

WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

KNOWING YOUR MOTHER, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY.

WE GOT TO ELOPE.

WHEN?

KNOWING YOUR MOTHER, THE SOONER, THE BETTER.

MR. MILLER SAYS HE WANTS TO BUY MY PRIZE SOW.

THAT'LL GIVE US THE MONEY FOR THE JUSTICE OF THE PEACE...

AND FOR THE HONEYMOON.

Miss Beadle: WHOA, WHOA!

ADAM!

HOWDY.

I'VE DECIDED TO BECOME MRS. SIMMS.

OH!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

OH!

YOU MIND WAITING TILL LUKE GETS HOME?

I'D LIKE FOR US TO BREAK THE NEWS TOGETHER.

OH, I'D LOVE THAT, TOO.

WELL, COME ON IN THE HOUSE.

HE'S OVER AT THE MILLERS' SELLING HIS SOW.

SHOULDN'T BE TOO LONG.

OK. OH!

WHEW.

OH, WILLIE HONEY, WOULD YOU RUN UPSTAIRS

AND TELL NELLIE THAT SUPPER'S ALMOST READY?

COME ON, NELS.

SHE AIN'T THERE.

WHAT?

SHE AIN'T THERE.

I SAW HER AND LUKE RIDING OUT OF TOWN IN OUR BUCKBOARD

COUPLE HOURS AGO.

SHE HAD A SUITCASE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!

'CAUSE NOBODY ASKED.

OH, NELS!

GET THE SHOTGUN!

[HARRIET SCREAMS]

OH!

WHY DIDN'T YOU HOLD ON?!

OH, NELS, REALLY!

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

UGH! AM I ALL RIGHT? OF COURSE I'M ALL RIGHT.

COME ON.

Nels: HEY! COME BACK! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! WHOA!

WHERE'S MY NELLIE?

I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, WHERE'S YOUR SON?

I DON'T KNOW THAT NEITHER.

WELL! THEY WERE SEEN LEAVING TOWN

THIS AFTERNOON IN MY BUCKBOARD.

AND...WELL, WHERE ELSE COULD THEY GO BUT HERE?

WELL, YOU CAN COME IN AND LOOK

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.

[HARRIET GASPS]

UH, I TALKED TO NELLIE THIS AFTERNOON.

ABOUT WHAT?

MARRIAGE.

MARRIAGE?!

WELL, I THOUGHT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT

ME AND ADAM, AND... WELL, I GUESS

SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT HER AND LUKE.

I BET THEM KIDS WENT OFF AND GOT HITCHED.

THAT'S MY GUESS.

OH, NELS!

WE'VE GOT TO STOP THEM BEFORE THEY...

NOW, THE NEAREST JUSTICE OF THE PEACE IS OVER AT SLEEPY EYE.

I'LL HITCH UP THE WAGON.

WELL, I MUST SAY, A FINE EXAMPLE

YOU SET FOR THE CHILDREN, MISS BEADLE!

WELL, WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

NO, MAYBE YOU HAVEN'T,

BUT, NELS...

WHY, NELLIE IS WITH THAT--THAT--

THAT CLODHOPPER!

OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES!

JUST CALM YOURSELF. NOW, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

DO YOU, LUKE, TAKE NELLIE

FOR YOUR LAWFUL WIFE?

YEAH.

I DO!

WELL, I'M MARRYING HER. I DO!

[SIGHS]

DO YOU, NELLIE,

REALLY TAKE LUKE HERE FOR YOUR LAWFUL HUSBAND?

I DO.

YOU GOT A RING?

WE CAN USE THIS.

[WHISPERING] What do I do with it?

YOU PUT IT ON THIS FINGER HERE, AND YOU SAY,

"WITH THIS RING, I THEE WED."

YOU THINK YOU CAN REMEMBER THAT?

WELL, SURE.

WITH THIS RING--

NOT MY FINGER, YOU DUMMY, HERS!

OH, SORRY.

WITH THIS RING, UH...

I WED THEE.

WAS THAT ALL RIGHT?

YOU'RE MAN AND WIFE.

PHILOMENA.

THANKS, PHILOMENA.

I NEEDED THAT.

WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

GUESS WE GOTTA GET A ROOM.

COME ON.

Adam: HYAH! HYAH!

Adam: WHOA. WHOA!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[KNOCK KNOCK]

OH! ARE YOU THE JUSTICE OF THE PEACE?

ARE YOU THE JUSTICE OF THE PEACE?

WHAT PEACE?

I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT A MARRIAGE.

LADY, YOU WAITED THIS LONG. YOU CAN WAIT TILL THE MORNING.

OH, I DON'T WANT TO BE MARRIED!

I DON'T EITHER!

I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY DAUGHTER-- NELLIE OLESON--

AND--AND LUKE SIMMS.

DID YOU MARRY THEM?

ALMOST, BUT IT TOOK A BIT--

OH! YOU MEAN THEY'RE NOT MARRIED?

NO. I MEAN IT TOOK A BIT OF DOING, BUT THEY'RE MARRIED,

FOR BETTER OR, MOST LIKELY, FOR WORSE.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY WENT?

THEY SAID SOMETHING ABOUT GETTING A ROOM.

I'M GOING TO GO TO BED, TOO.

A ROOM.

WHERE WOULD THEY GO?

THERE'S ONLY 2 PLACES IN TOWN--

EITHER THE HOTEL OR MRS. LEARY'S.

OH. WELL, YOU GO TO MRS. LEARY'S,

AND LET'S GO TO THE HOTEL. HURRY UP.

NICE PLACE, HUH?

Nellie: YEAH.

NICE TOWN--WHAT I SAW.

UH-HUH.

WELL...MY TURN, I GUESS.

I GUESS.

Luke: NELLIE?

YES?

WELL, NOTHING, I GUESS.

[GASPS]

MA!

NELS...

MAKE HER A WIDOW.

MA!

DADDY, NO!

SHOOT!

Nels: I CAN'T JUST SHOOT!

Harriet: SHOOT! I'LL GET HIM!

Nels: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

[NELLIE SCREAMING]

GIVE ME THAT. GIVE ME THAT.

GIVE ME THE GUN. GIVE ME THE GUN!

GET OFF IT!

- LUKE! - PA!

DO YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING OUT HERE IN YOUR DRAWERS?

IT'S MRS. OLESON, PA. SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME! I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!

WELL, I'M YOUR FATHER. I GET FIRST CALL.

PA!

GET IN THERE!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[KNOCK KNOCK]

[KNOCK KNOCK]

[KNOCK KNOCK]

OH, NO!

TELL ME, WHAT'S WALNUT GROVE GOT AGAINST ME?

WHAT DID I EVER DO?

ALWAYS TRIED TO LIVE RIGHT, OBSERVE THE GOLDEN RULE.

YOU MARRIED THESE CHILDREN.

I THOUGHT THEY'D REGRET IT. NOW I KNOW I DO.

WELL, I WANT YOU TO UNMARRY THEM.

- UNMARRY THEM? - YES.

THEY'RE FAR TOO YOUNG,

AND WE'RE GOING TO STAY RIGHT HERE UNTIL YOU DO.

COME IN.

IN THERE. GAH.

[HARRIET SIGHS]

STOP THAT!

SAID THE FLY TO THE SPIDER.

LET ME HAVE THE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE, ROMEO.

IT'S LUKE.

BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME,

I DECLARE YOU, LUKE,

AND YOU, NELLIE,

NOT TO BE MAN AND WIFE. GOOD NIGHT!

COME ALONG, NELLIE.

EVA, AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE,

WHY DON'T WE GET MARRIED?

WHY NOT?

YOU'RE JOKING!

NO, SIR.

WE'RE READY WHENEVER YOU ARE.

YES.

I'LL PAY YOU EXTRA.

OH.

PHILOMENA!

HOW'D YOU LIKE TO BE MY BEST MAN?

'CAUSE YOU ARE, YOU KNOW.

SURE, PA.

NELLIE?

NELLIE, SOMEDAY WHEN YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH, AND...

AND IF YOU WANT, I'LL BE YOUR MATRON OF HONOR,

BUT FOR NOW, WILL YOU STAND UP WITH ME?

OH.

YES, MISS BEADLE.

YOU, OVER HERE.

YOU, OVER HERE NEAR THE BRIDE.

YOU, THERE NEAR THE GROOM.

WHERE DO YOU WANT ME?

I'D RATHER NOT SAY.

WELL!

NOW, THEN...

WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES?

Adam: UH, ADAM AND EVA.

NOW YOU ARE JOKING.

NOPE. ADAM SIMMS AND EVA BEADLE.

AFTER TONIGHT, I CAN BELIEVE ANYTHING.

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL--

SHORT AND SWEET.

DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE GATHERED HERE

AT THIS DESPICABLE HOUR

IN THE PRESENCE OF THIS WEIRD ASSEMBLAGE

TO JOIN IN MARRIAGE THESE 2 PEOPLE.

ADAM, DO YOU TAKE EVA FOR YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE?

I DO.

EVA...

DO YOU TAKE ADAM FOR YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED HUSBAND?

I DO.

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE.

[SNORING]

PHILOMENA!

PHILOMENA!

Harriet: EH--GOSH.

OH, MY. IT'S A REGULAR WEDDING.

Nels: CONGRATULATIONS.

[ALL SPEAKING AT ONCE]