Original subtitles

Ah, there I am.

Sir Douglas Weatherford, Baron of Inverleish

and Knight of the most ancient and most noble Order of the Thistle.

I sit in the land of my birth, only 30 years of age,

and already I have made some of the greatest advancements

the world has ever seen.

To put it plainly...

I am a genius.

For centuries I have been revered as such,

but alas, for reasons I cannot comprehend,

in today's degenerate age, my legacy is forgotten.

Even my noble face, my striking, handsome face

has been reduced to that...

of a Spaniard.

For many years,

this rundown visitor centre found in my home town,

has been the sole institute of my life's work.

Permit me then to recount my achievements,

from my magnum opus, The Fourth Treatise,

a book which helped propel the world into a new age of prosperity,

to my strides as a natural philosopher in the treatment of lunatics.

And of course, my surgical advancements,

particularly in the practice of limb amputation.

My contemporaries have fared much better than I.

Even that pervert, Benjamin Franklin

has cemented his name in the annals of history.

All the while, my legacy chokes beneath an ever thickening layer of dust.

And so, my only hope is a Mr Kenneth Mackay,

an enthusiastic employee

devoted to sharing my story with all who will listen.

In every fibre of his being,

Mr Mackay belongs to this part of the world.

Though a man of little distinction,

he is my final chance to save my legacy.

Here comes his carriage, rumbling through the valley now.

Let us listen in.

Everything you see here was passed down to Sir Douglas

by his father, Laird Bryce, and his father before him,

and his father before him

through multiple changes in the monarchy.

Sir Douglas liked to ride his horse daily through the woodlands.

He had numerous boulders strategically placed

along the route, so that should inspiration ever strike,

he had somewhere to sit down and jot down his thoughts.

On his return from the West Indies in the 1760s,

Sir Douglas married Hannah Chetwynd-Howe.

She gave him seven children,

only one of whom survived into adulthood.

Sir Douglas was greatly distressed by this,

and his marriage suffered as a consequence.

Lady Weatherford's journals are quite revealing in this regard.

She describes his mood swings as if being struck violently

by Saturn's scythe.

When my wife first read this,

she said he reminded her of me.

Fun fact.

I am actually a descendant...

of... Sir Douglas.

We, we did a bit of digging a few years back

and I was quite, uh, surprised

to find his name on the family tree.

We actually share a birthday.

And though I say so myself,

I think I'm looking pretty good

for a 282 year old.

Jess?

Jess?

Oh, oh, oh. Whoa, ho, ho.

What have I got for you, hmm?

Look at this. Look at this. Your favourite.

Although Mrs Mackay passed away over a year ago,

Kenneth still expects to find her sitting in her armchair,

awaiting his return from an excursion.

After her death,

Kenneth subscribed to a genealogy website

where he discovered that he is indeed

a distant kinsman of my third cousin.

Sadly, for Kenneth, due to that lady's many indiscretions,

nearly half of Arberloch is also descended from her.

-You've done so well. -It's great. It's very yummy.

So, Anna tells me you're a nurse.

Yeah. Um, at St. Joe's.

Hmm.

I know St. Joe's. Which department?

Uh, psychiatry.

-Oh? -Yeah. It's intense.

No, it's intense, but you're amazing. You're amazing.

He, he's running his own ward

and he's only been there for like two months.

It's like, incredible.

How's James?

Fine.

What?

He's fine, yeah.

You were with your daddy last week, weren't you, sweetheart?

Oh, that's good. That's good.

How's your dad?

-Dad's fine. -Good.

Why don't you phone him, Dad?

I was just asking how he was. That was all.

He's fine.

Starts with Sarah.

Anna, your mum.

-Me... -Dad, do we really need to

do the family tree right now?

It's not polite.

When's the right time to show the little one her family lineage?

So, grandpa, grandma,

great-grandparents, great-great-grandparents.

Read out some of those names.

Sir John Hamilton?

Yes. Say it louder so your mama can hear, go on.

I can hear, I can hear.

Good, good. Sir John Hamilton.

Next name please,

Sir John Ruven.

Sir John Ruven. Next name please.

Agnes Longford.

Oh, very important woman.

Next name please.

Sir Francis Urquhart.

Oh, well done. That's not an easy one to say.

Less this is a very difficult one even to read, never mind say.

-Well done you. -Yeah.

-Sir Francis Urquhart. -Urquhart.

Up here, great-great-great grandparents. And finally, who's that?

Sir Douglas Weatherford.

Sir Douglas Weatherford.

All the way back to...

you.

You come from a noble family, my dear.

-Dad, that's enough. -And don't let anyone tell you different.

Come on, give your grandpa a hug.

Hey... Love you.

-Love you. Right. -Cheers. Nice to meet you.

-Nice meeting you. -Take care.

Yeah, you too.

I think Grandad's sad.

No, no, no, he's not, sweetheart.

Can he come and stay with us again?

-Safe drive. -Yeah, bye, Dad.

Get inside, right?

It's cold.

Hm.

Anna.

Birthday Girl.

Anna, look at me. That's it.

How old are you today, huh?

Two? Two.

Oh...

Happy birthday dear Anna...

Happy birthday to you...

-Yay. -Well done.

It's nice when the sun comes out anyway.

-It's alright. -Yeah.

-It's a nice crew. -Yeah.

What? Is he just gonna sit there?

-Come on. -Nutter.

Hey.

What?

Move on, move on, move on. Come on!

Can't bloody be here, you idiot!

-Move your car! Move your car! -Can't come through!

Get out! Get out!

That way, yes.

A tranquil, peaceful place.

A place of tremendous beauty.

I, Sir Douglas Weatherford,

have always been a great lover of animals.

My love, of course, is most evident

in the vast number I shot during my travels

and had stuffed for display in my home.

Each species told a story...

Do not lean on the glass, please.

An emblem...

Excuse me.

Could you not lean on the display, please?

Was the Tiger from Bengal.

Thank you.

From the Carpathians.

And who could forget, the pygmy antelope.

Having travelled to many strange

and distant lands,

I have had the opportunity

to observe a great many diverse economic systems.

Consider this.

It is not the generosity of the farmer...

that feeds us or our families...

but his own self-promotion.

It is this commonality that can be found

in both the northern and the southern hemispheres.

Oh, no, no, no, no!

-Thus, it's the question of the age... -Don't park here, you can't park here.

Is the fundamental truth of human nature,

Yeah, yeah, just reverse, just reverse.

-the self-motivating force behind it... -Go back!

Keep going. Keep going. What the fuck?

-It is... -You dozy cunt!

-Just park the car... no, stop! -Please excuse the language.

Make your fucking mind up!

It is a fundamental truth...

of human nature...

that nothing

motivates human kind quite...

as much...

as one's own self-interest.

Excuse me, what's going on?

These are questions...

but for the future of mankind.

What are you fucking beeping at?

That's it, keep going. Keep fucking going!

Why should we ride to the aid of those

that did not come to ours?

They must be warned.

Understand this...

things are now in motion that cannot be undone.

How far?

Three days' ride as the dragon flies.

We'd better hope we don't have one of those on our tail.

With or without a dragon in your midst,

you shall need the might of the Geldun Blade...

This the one where they have to defeat the hydra dragon.

Geldun-en, valor tur.

Geldun-en, valor tur.

Geldun-en, valor tur.

They want to know what we think of the show.

See they're paying Jock a packet for the use of his farm house.

He's always been an attention seeker.

Well, I guess you have to be

when you come from a long line of tatty pickers

and domestic servants.

I suppose this is beneath you, Ken?

Well, not me.

Watch my drink.

I'm going to be famous.

He's a real show-off.

in the Caribbean.

When you think on it, if you were to take Adam Smith,

David Hume, David Livingstone,

and Sir Walter Scott

and put them all together,

you would have Sir Douglas.

Of course, he... he wasn't recognised in his day.

Welcome.

Welcome, welcome, come in, come in.

Welcome, o weary travellers, follow me, follow me.

Hi, how's it going? Hi.

Look at that, Emberfell!

Brilliant.

-Hang on, hang on. -Come in, come in.

-Emberfell! -Emberfell.

-This is amazing. -Come in, come in.

Steven McKinnon,

manager of the town's Weatherford themed visitor centre

is keen to capitalise on the show's arrival,

transforming the dusty old centre into an exciting new

White Stag of Emberfell fan zone.

The rain has done little to deter Emberfell fans.

Rumours are circulating

that the show's producers might cast local talent...

-Jessie! -...in minor speaking roles,

-in an effort to engage the community. -Jessie.

Jessie.

Jessie.

Uh...

Ah...

What has become of the once peaceful valley

where my father taught me to ride Tempest, my first horse?

Or the boulder where I sat and composed a lament after her passing?

But of all the changes I have had to endure

since the arrival of this gaudy spectacle,

I must say, I am most disappointed...

by this.

-Emberfell! -Emberfell.

The expansive realm of Emberfell is divided into four dominions.

Each embodying one of the natural elements:

Earth, fire, water and air.

Prince Ergon is a living paradox.

His lineage consists of...

Emberfell is a land beset with warring factions.

Yeah.

To the north,

a rare of succession is underway.

A wa... a war of... war of succession is underway.

I, King Ergon...

Yeah!

Am under attack

from comrade and kin alike.

For years, I have ruled with wisdom,

with strength, with the guidance of the ancient magic

that courses through these lands.

My people have flourished,

and peace has been our companion.

But now shadows grow

and darkness stirs from within.

We've gotta take a picture at the top.

-This is so wild! -I know!

Hurry up!

Oh, Marcus is gonna flip.

Although...

although,

although the show has never actually used this, er, location,

it's well known

that it provided inspiration for the creation of Gran-amark.

Where the werewolves live.

This one.

Unfortunately, this is as close as we can get, ladies and gentlemen,

but, er, if you have a look over there to your right,

you'll see they are setting up for the next scene.

There's the camera over there.

In fact, a little birdie told me

that Oscar Sorenson, AKA Prince Ergon, will be on set today.

I am still king of these lands.

You will obey me.

I have stood idly by,

as you've brought nothing

but war and destruction upon our people.

I suppose you think you can rule better?

-You don't have what it takes! -Ah!

You have betrayed me.

No, Father, it is you who have betrayed our people.

Uh...

Noooo!

Can he see me?

A phantom?

Just gonna check these really quickly.

Well, as far as your eyes go,

you're looking very healthy for your age.

No cataracts or anything else?

No, no.

Our eyes tend to get a bit drier with age

due to decreased tear production, that can cause fogginess.

It's a very natural process and nothing to worry about.

Here, take these.

Although the show...

Although it was never actually used for filming in the show...

Did you just...

put your gum there?

Take the mask off so I can see your face. Did you just put your gum there?

Take the mask off.

Take the gum off.

Now you get off.

Get off, get off. That's a national landmark.

Don't shake your head, just off, off.

Can I show you something, ladies and gentlemen, please?

Can you open up, please. Come. I want you to see this.

-Can you all see this? -Yeah.

What would you say if I told you that this unassuming rock

played a central role in world history?

Hmm?

-Sir Douglas Weatherford... -Who?

Sir Douglas Weatherford, he...

-his name's on the plaque right there. -Is that a character?

Sir Douglas Weatherford sat here

and he composed large parts of The Fourth Treatise.

Now, The Fourth Treatise is a collection of essays

universally recognised as being the foundation

upon which virtually every post-industrial society

and economy is based.

And he created it right here.

Right here, where you're standing.

You are standing in history.

-It was progress. -Alright, alright.

You might not like it, but you should know where it came from.

Alright, Ken!

Ladies and gentlemen, if you'd like to follow me over here.

We have tracks left by the White Stag himself.

Come on, follow me. Up we go.

Here we are, look.

Gather round.

How tragic it is to become a stranger in one's own home.

I should know.

This was my home, where I lived until my death.

Charlatan historians have claimed that, to make way for this estate,

I burned a village to the ground,

killing peasants who refused to leave.

That's all false, of course.

Regrettably, one cannot always control

how one's legacy is remembered.

My direct descendant, a Lady Jean Mary Alexandria Weatherford,

is an insufferable communist

who has tarnished my family's once good name.

You've got to stop all this silly old Sir Douglas posturing and lecturing.

It's...

it's uncomfortable.

We are progressive. Hmm?

We have installed solar panels on the school roofs.

We are rewilding great swathes of the estate.

And, do you know, I personally am petitioning

for the reintroduction of wolves.

I'm a conservationist at heart.

And we believe that we must preserve

our precious resources for the future,

which is why we must take every opportunity

that comes our way, like this marvellous, uh, telly show.

Don't you just love it? I absolutely binged it.

And you... are our King Ergon, I believe.

So why don't you just play along

and dress up as you've been asked?

No more running around making a fool of yourself. Hmm?

We all have to adapt.

The Weatherford family...

is asking you to adapt.

Can you manage that?

Hmm?

Stabbed you. So you have to die now.

-What? -Die.

I... I... I stabbed you.

So now you die.

Come on.

He's such a huge fan of the show.

Oh, is he?

Oh, well then...

I'll just die, shall I?

Fans eagerly capture every moment of Oscar Sorenson around Arberloch,

from strolls along the beach to dinners at local restaurants.

To find out more, we went out in Arberloch

to ask locals for their thoughts.

Are you a fan of the... the cast within the show?

Love it, love the dragon.

It's a brilliant character.

And do you think it's good for the community having this?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, all the money they're bringing in.

You know, there's always some people that are against it.

"Oh, we don't want this. There's gonna be traffic and all that."

You know? And you think, oh my God, do you want your wee boring life

to go on forever? You know, something exciting.

How much for this?

80 quid.

40.

Okay.

Are you a fan of the show?

Good God, no.

I... I just thought, uh, you know, eh...

It's for work.

-You do the tours? -Mm-hmm.

The show's dumb.

They ruined the books. All the real fans hate it.

-Really? -Yeah.

I couldn't even get through the first episode.

Do you know how to work a camera?

Aye. He does.

Tell him about all the wildlife films you make.

Birds, mostly.

He's a talent.

Stewart.

Stewart.

What am I paying you for?

Alright.

Sorry.

Right. Come on, let's get some filming done.

Get into your position.

You've got a lamppost growing out your head.

Over the right a bit.

-Hello. -No, you can...

That too loud?

-You can just talk normally, it's fine. -Right?

-Ready? And... -I'm a bit nervous.

Right. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay, let's go for it.

Okay. Yep.

Action.

Here we are, in a car park.

But not just any car park.

July 8th, 1750.

On this very site

there happened a momentous event.

Gathered here

were a group of disgruntled workers

from the local mill,

owned by Douglas' father, Laird Bryce,

They'd long made a series of accusations about poor pay,

dangerous working conditions.

All false.

And yet,

they gathered here with the express intention

of marching on the Weatherford estate.

The young Douglas Weatherford

got wind of their intentions

and secretly he rode to meet with the disgruntled workers.

He pushed his way through the demonstrators,

the hundred or so who had gathered here

in this very site.

Go down. Show it.

Show it.

Come back up.

The precocious young Weatherford

delivered a speech so profound...

that many of the workers cried.

They dropped their pitchforks

and they returned to the mill.

All were shown mercy

by the Weatherford family.

Okay, hold on, hold on. Two seconds.

Yep. Action.

Look left.

Left.

That's good.

Having travelled through many strange and distant lands,

Just trust me. It's a good shot, okay?

Aye. Aye, there you go.

Aye. That's good.

Woah, hold on, hold on. Wait.

Action.

While he was offered burial

in the actual nave of Westminster Abbey,

his last will and testament

specified that he wished to be buried here

at St. Peter's, the old kirk,

where he was educated as a boy.

So here we are.

The final resting place

of Sir Douglas Weatherford.

What?

Hey, hey, go on.

Hey, I'm the king of these hills.

-Go on. -Ergon.

Ergon, the Ergon.

Yes!

Hey, boys, you forgot this.

Oi!

Fuck's sake!

Oh, man, look at your motor!

Oh, your ma's gonna kill you.

I'll kill him!

-Yeah? -Yeah.

Yeah, we're on.

Of all the locations in the life and times

of Sir Douglas Weatherford,

this stretch of beach

is possibly the most poignant.

His arch nemesis,

Captain Edmund Beaumont

penned an article for The Scots Journal in March, 1783,

which attempted to discredit Sir Douglas' work on telegony.

Douglas, of course...

Douglas, of course, was furious,

and he challenged him to a duel,

not uncommon at the time.

The military man, Captain Edmond Beaumont...

-Cut! -was well-versed and highly skilled

in the art of war.

You're in the shot, mate!

-And tragically... -You can't be down here.

-Sir Doug... -You can't be down here!

-Sir Douglas was at the receiving... -You can't be down here!

-You can't be down here! -Was at the...

was at, was at the receiving end of that expertise.

The bullet went through his heart and he bled...

here.

-Copy that. -Probably some birdwatcher or something.

-We're filming today. -Yeah.

We have permits.

The beach needs to be vacated.

Permits?

For a beach?

We need paperwork.

They only give them out to real productions.

Ones with real actors.

Oscar.

What?

We could ask him.

There's no way.

Also he can't act.

What does that matter? He's a name, isn't he?

Er, no, but there's no way.

I, I, I mean, how are we gonna pay him? The guy's on millions.

Well, then the money won't bother him, will it?

I just need five minutes to explain.

This is a project of cultural significance.

None of that... comic book shite that he does.

Some graphic novels are actually quite good.

I just need to find him.

It's okay, Jess.

-Oscar! -Please, please!

-You're amazing! -Oscar!

-Oscar! -I love you!

You... have betrayed me.

No, Father.

It is you who have betrayed our people.

Uh...

Aaargh!

Oh, good Horatio,

I'll take the ghost's word for a thousand pound.

Didst perceive?

Very well, my lord.

Upon the talk of the poisoning?

I did very well note him.

Ah, ha! Come, some music!

Come, the recorders.

For if the king like not the comedy,

why, then...?

That's good.

You're going to make an amazing Hamlet.

This part is a hundred percent yours. I just know it.

-Do you think so? -I think so.

-It's not too much? -It's not too much.

-Thanks, babe. -Can we leave? I'm dying for a drink.

Ah...

Can't we just stay at the hotel bar?

No, I wanna soak up the atmosphere.

You know, I almost feel sorry for him.

He, he fancies himself a Hamlet.

Coincidentally, I myself portrayed Hamlet in the school production.

But unlike him, I held the necessary gravitas

-to carry the role. -There he is. Oscar!

-Oscar! -Oscar!

Oscar!

-Oscar! -You look amazing.

Oscar! Oscar!

I've written a project.

-Here we go, here we go. -Yeah, okay, okay.

-Oscar. Oscar. -Next time. Listen, mate, could you...

Oh, did you get it?

-You got the autograph, let's see. -I didn't get anything.

Did you get it?

Hi. Uh, I thought I would come over and, um, introduce myself.

I thought I would come over and introduce myself.

My name's Kenneth.

My name is... is Kenneth.

My name is Kenneth. And I have a very exciting proposal.

Very exciting proposal.

I'm, I'm actually making a film,

about Douglas Weatherford in his early years.

I have a proposal, a very exciting proposal.

I'm actually making a film about Douglas Weatherford in his early years...

and I would be...

I just wonder if you wouldn't mind popping your signatures on these?

Over your forehead, maybe? And uh...

Maybe, you know, maybe you can come in one day,

both of you and, uh, take some...

-Hey. -Hey.

Hey man, do you want a photo?

No, no. No need for that.

I just wanted to introduce myself.

My name's Kenneth.

-Hi, Kenneth. -Nice to meet you, Kenneth.

I don't know if you're aware, but, uh,

this used to be the old laboratory

for one of this town's most noble sons.

Sir Douglas Weatherford?

-A relative of mine. -Ken...

-No, no. Sorry. -No. Sorry.

No?

He was actually involved in a great many medical advancements.

Surgical advancements, especially,

as you can see from, from the drawings.

Sounds interesting, yeah.

What are you after?

Oh, a cup of tea would be nice. Just milk. No sugar.

I'll get to the point. I know you're out having a quiet evening

with your beautiful wife.

I actually have a very exciting proposal for you, sir.

-Mm-hmm. -I'm in the process of making a film.

-Mm. -Right.

And...

-being an admirer of your work... -Oh, thanks.

I was thinking you might just make the ideal

young Douglas Weatherford for the re-enactments.

What do you say?

Oh, wow, thank you.

Thank you for... for considering me for the part.

And, um, I, I think the best person to speak to

would be my agent, Karen.

'Cause she, she, she knows everything about my schedule.

-She, she would be the expert... -Oh, no. No.

-That's not necessary. -Okay, gents, let's leave...

-them in peace. -We start tomorrow morning.

Hold on. We'll think about it.

We start tomorrow morning at te...

-A cup of tea and a biscuit. -Kenneth, Kenneth.

Come on.

Should have stayed at home.

If you don't get the Hamlet part...

-Shut up. -Absolute nutters.

He looks quite interesting, though, this Douglas guy.

Hmm.

-Best show I've seen for years. -Oh, really?

Well...

I had a word, and he wants to do it.

Don't bother him just now, he's busy.

But he said he'll be there.

Tomorrow?

What to do is write down all the details,

time, place and all that.

Then I'll block it out of his schedule. Sound good?

Hm.

And he'll definitely be there?

Definitely. He's a man of his word. Trust me.

If he says he'll do something, he'll do it.

I've been working for him since he were in that Mickey the House Mouse Club thing.

Thank you.

Well done.

You... you want your pen?

Nah, keep it.

Nutter.

Ah...

Ah.

Dad.

Dad.

Dad, you're home.

Why have I got a bucket on my lap?

Because the last time I picked you up from the pub, you were sick

and I've just got the car cleaned.

For God's sake. I had a drink.

It's always a drink, isn't it?

And then... my car's ruined.

You will never guess who I got...

to be in my re-enactments.

Never gonna guess.

Try.

I'm never gonna guess. Yeah.

Someone that you really, really like.

-But that's all I'm gonna say. -Okay.

I'm never gonna guess. I'm never gonna guess. Okay.

I'm sorry I woke you up.

And I want to thank you

for coming to get me. Thank you.

-Okay. Good night. -Love you.

-Yeah. -Right. Good night.

-Yeah. -Get your belt.

What are we doing for the wee one's birthday?

Eh, nothing, eh, she just wants to, to go to her dad's

and so, I'm just... we're not doing anything.

What, no party?

No.

That's not right.

Okay.

It's what she wants, Dad.

Sorry.

Night-night. Careful.

While he may have betrayed me,

I shall not slay my own blood.

Send him to the tower!

Long live the king!

-Long live the king! -Yes.

Long live the king!

Long live the king!

You've been pranked.

He'll be here.

He's probably been held up or something.

Busy people, actors.

This afternoon, something magical is happening

at the Arberloch Visitor Centre.

There will be an exclusive meet and greet

with the leading stars of the White Stag of Emberfell.

Join us and hear behind the scenes stories,

get autographs and snaps...

I should go.

With your favourite characters, including Prince Ergon...

We should.

If only to tell him that his show's shite.

Doors will open at 5:00 PM

with the event scheduled to start at 6:00.

Don't forget to dress up as your favourite Emberfellian,

and the winner...

Back in my day, the defence of one's honour

was something worth dying for.

A duel, two gentlemen face-to-face,

settling their dispute with dignity.

I myself prevailed in 23...

out of 24.

Sadly for Kenneth, in these times, duels have been outlawed.

Another example of how a once civilised society

has declined into savagery.

-You are a liar. -Yeah, what now, eh? Hey?

-Come on. Come on. -I'm going in, I'm going in here.

-No you're not. -I'm going in.

-No, you're not. -I'm going in.

-Step back. -Hey, I work here, actually.

-Listen... -Uh, get out my way.

Get out my...

There he is!

That's for you.

Thanks for doing this.

There he is, there he is!

-Kick him out. -What are you doing?

It's just insane, this. Alright.

That's you told.

-Jog on! -Yeah, go on.

-Some people, man. -Yeah, excuse me, get to the back.

Go on, it's ridiculous.

-Go on. -Yeah, keep walking.

Keep on walking.

Oscar... Stephen!

He's keen.

Yeah.

-Stephen! -Right...

It's a local lunatic.

Wouldnae worry about it.

Oh!

-Oh, no. -What?

You alright? Let's get you up.

You look like a twat, mate.

-What? -A twat.

-What? -This is on you.

No, no, no, no, no.

You saw what he was doing to me, he was manhandling me.

What else am I supposed to do?

-Excuse me. Excuse me. -What character are you meant to be?

Just... just shut up.

Look, just, just up. Shut up. Shut up.

You know nothing. You know absolutely...

-What? -Absolutely nothing.

Turned this town into a bloody theme park.

Look at yourselves.

You're a joke. You're all demented.

You're emotionally arrested.

Standing queuing up like, like sheep!

Baaah, baaah! That's what you are.

All of you, with your celebrities.

Celebrities. What? What?

Read a book!

Find out where you come from!

Find out about the world!

Go get a job! Yeah?

You thought about that?

You're, you're pathetic!

-Oh, my God, hi. -Hi. Good to see you.

Hi.

Anna. Anna.

Birthday girl.

Anna, look at me, that's it.

How old are you, huh?

Two, two?

Happy birthday dear Anna...

Happy birthday to you.

In my laboratory,

right in the very spot where Mr Mackay now sits,

I conducted numerous psychiatric experiments on lunatics.

Among my most ambitious

was an attempt at a brain transplant

between an inmate of the asylum

and a goat.

Although both creatures died as a result of the procedure,

I gleaned a lot.

The ugly truth is their deaths were no great loss.

After all, every success demands a sacrifice.

Make ready!

Take aim!

Fire!

Fire!

I am still king of these lands.

You will obey me.

I've stood idly by

as you've brought nothing but war

and destruction upon our people.

I suppose you think you can rule better.

You don't have what it...

You... have betrayed me.

No, Father.

It is you who hath betrayed our people.

I am still king of these lands.

Oscar!

Oscar mania continues.

After the announcement of the show's renewal

for two more seasons, our...

I am still king of these lands.

I am still king of these lands.

I am still king.

I'm still king of these lands. I am still king.

I am still king of these lands.

I am still king...

of these lands.

I am still king.

I am still king of these lands.

I am...

I am still king.

Hi, Ken.

You alright?

Nice evening.

Uh-huh.

-Good night. -See ya.

Uh.

Uh...

Huh!

Urgh!

Ah!

Oh.

Oh, no...

Ah, Jesus Christ!

Aah...

Aah.

So they need you on the 17th to do all of the voice work,

um, and actually, I have some really exciting news.

Uh, we finally have a launch date...

-Yeah. -...for the video game.

It's looking like next summer at Playcon.

What about, uh, Hamlet?

Yeah, um... a bit of bad news,

they loved you, but sadly it is a no.

Anyways, I'm with Emma now, so, er, we need to go.

-Sorry, we need to go. -Oh, okay, yeah. Speak soon.

-Bye. -Yep.

I'm never going to be recognised as a serious performer.

It's because I'm a bad actor, isn't it?

So, you're not working at the... at the Visitor Centre?

No, no. I felt...

it was time for a change.

Long overdue.

So, Sal and I were talking and he...

um...

he... he was...

he thought it might be a good idea if you went to his work.

Just for a wee check-up.

It's nothing serious. It's nothing at all.

We just, um...

I know it can be difficult, even after a year.

It can take us time to adjust to living on our own.

And my colleague, Janine, she's great. She's really amazing.

-Yeah, she's actually lovely. -This is her speciality.

And I can answer any questions.

Well, rest assured, sweetheart,

I am absolutely fine.

I'm f... I'm fine.

I promise you, I am absolutely fine.

♪ O Tempest loyal and true ♪

♪ Ye rode 'neath skies of blue ♪

♪ The bracken bows in grief ♪

♪ Below the withered heath ♪

♪ Thy spirit swift and bold ♪

♪ Now rests in shadows cold ♪

♪ All journeys end this way ♪

♪ All... ♪

♪ journeys end this way... ♪

You look after the house, okay?

Morning.

Morning.

Did we meet already?

-Sorry? -Have I met you before?

No, I don't think so.

Yeah, at the pub?

No, I don't really drink. So, um...

What's the name? Sir...? Oh.

Sir, uh, what's his name? William...

Feathers... Feather. He was... scientific achievements, your ancestor.

I looked him up.

No, it doesn't ring a bell.

But whoever it was, was obviously...

important.

Must have had you mixed up, hm.

This is, uh...

a Stevenson Lighthouse.

You know of it?

Are you... you familiar with Stevenson?

Robert Louis Stevenson's grandfather?

Robert Louis Stevenson, the famous Scottish novelist?

26th most translated author in the world.

One... one behind Charles Dickens.

Wrote Treasure Island.

Kidnapped.

No, um, I don't read much.

Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde?

Seen the movie.

Oh, the film.

Of course.

Of course.

Yeah. Everybody...

everybody knows Jekyll and Hyde.

It's all, uh, the history of this place.

It's important, you know?

You can't just let that die.

So, can I ask what...

what brought you here?

Just... just work, really.

Ah.

You're not involved in that...

television programme, are you?

No.

No, not really.

Good, good.

All that fantasy, wizard, dragons,

yeah, no... nobody cares about the truth.

Yeah?

And then it's the effect of the circus in the town, you know?

It's not just the, the, the trucks and the noise

and the entitlement amongst the crew

who can be rather arrogant.

Not just that. And I mean, I take it,

I mean, obviously the Weatherfords will have made money out of it

because they, they probably gave you...

you give them a permit, don't you?

You know, they take the... take the money. Of course they do.

Of course, they take money for most things.

But I mean, the...

where... what are we supposed to do?

What are the local people supposed to do?

Er, do you think about what happens to people like me?

I'm not an angry person, but it, it's turned upside down, you know?

I mean, I mean, for me to get to work,

sometimes maybe 45 minutes,

but, but, but, but now you're here.

That, that's, that's half an hour onto my day each way.

-Yeah. -So, that's, that's an hour onto my day.

-Now, I'm a... -Hey, love.

-Have you been on a walk with Mummy? -Yeah.

Oh, you've found a pretty shell.

Oh, that's fantastic, huh? What a great present.

-Can I save this? -Where's Mummy?

-Here. -There she is, okay.

Can you show me how fast you can run back to Mummy?

-Yeah. -Okay.

One. Two. Three. Let's go.

Listen...

I'm here with my family, okay?

I don't want any... trouble.

Okay?

Yeah...

Bastard!

Gary, it's okay!

Just let him go.

What the fuck is this?

-What's that? -I don't know.

You okay?

It's just a sad old man, okay?

-Yeah. -Yeah. He's just sad.

Yeah, it's okay.

It was a mistake to believe that this weak man was worthy.

The Peregrino Marsh Wing, often mistaken for the common goose,

is a striking waterfowl species found in Arberloch,

though few locals know its true origins.

Discovered by Sir Douglas Weatherford during his travels in Africa,

he brought a mating pair back to Scotland

and released them into the hills.

Over the centuries, the marshwing has become an integral part

of the ecosystem sustaining the wetlands.

Historically celebrated by bird enthusiasts

it's also served as a symbol for the Arberloch Church choir

and a lucky mascot for the Boy Scouts.

But while the marshwing thrives,

Weatherford's legacy in Aberloch and beyond has fallen.

Today, only traces of him remain,

some rocks, a grave,

and stories only few care to repeat.

And so, the noble bird endures

as his most lasting legacy.

Its strange honk resembling laughter fills the air.

A sound so familiar in Arberloch

that few stop to wonder where it truly came from.

Who am I?

A mere specimen.

A relic.

A ghost who roams in empty rooms.

I am vulnerable to ephemerality.

And so, it must be,

as it must go on and on and on.

I have so much more to say.

But I have disappeared.

Right, so this is Dwarvish, right?

So, the, "K" is...

more at the back of the throat, alright? Guttural.

Okay?

What is it, soldier?

Okay. Thank you.

Thank you, Mr Curtis.

Oh, okay.

Is that it?

Yeah, that's all.

Thank you for coming.

Right.

Thanks.

Thanks very much.

Who's next? Who's next?

Okay. Thank you.

What is it, soldier?

The troops are weary.

Oh!