Original subtitles

That's DB Norton's opening attack on the governor.

Why Jim, it's just a letter sent into a column.

No, no, I can smell it.

That's Norton.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Good morning, governor.

You're rather early.

Governor, did you happen to see this in a new bulletin?

Yes.

I had it served at my breakfast this morning.

Jim thinks it's...

Should we...

Sorry.

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Totally.

Okay.

Are you sure everything's okay?

Yeah.

Hold on, let me just...

One second.

One second.

What am I, not your type?

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm sorry.

Listen, that is not it.

That was a bad joke.

You... Listen, it's not you.

Like, it's totally you.

No, no, that was a joke.

And like...

No, no, no.

I'm in my head too much.

No, you're not.

No, no.

It was... I made a bad joke.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean it like that.

Seriously.

It's fine.

Hey...

I promise it's not you.

It's fine.

Okay?

Bodies are weird.

It's okay.

Hey.

I'm having a good time.

So seriously, you've never happened to me before?

I believe you.

Can you do me a favor?

What?

Can you tell me a really embarrassing story about yourself?

Why?

Because it'll make me feel better.

Oh my god.

You have to.

No!

Just...

It can just be like a small one.

And... Look at me.

I mean, I'm dying of shame here.

Fine.

Okay.

So...

When I was little, my dad made me do taekwondo, which, you know, I hated.

Anyway, so, um...

There was one time my dad wanted to eat beforehand, so we went to Whataburger.

And we were waiting in line.

And I had my gi on.

And...

Um...

You know, I was waiting in line with my dad and I

was like, Oh, what if I just pretend to be sick?

So I, um...

I started gagging.

And I mean just like really, really selling it.

And, um...

All these people in line started turning around and they were like, Um...

Is he okay?

And my dad was just like...

He's fine.

He's faking it.

Meanwhile, I'm in the back going like...

And I just got really awkward because, like, everyone was staring, but nobody,

including the employees, were doing anything.

And my dad was just like, he's faking it.

And eventually I just...

Stopped.

Okay, so...

I have a question.

Tell me...

Who of the three quintessential Charlie's Angels would you be?

Mind you, there is one right answer.

Lucy Liu, hands down.

No, you would be her?

Yeah, she's objectively the best Angel.

So... That was pretty recent for you, then.

Yeah.

Like, I'd known for a while.

You know, it was the classic...

Small town...

Conservative parents, very religious sort of upbringing, and...

You know, moved to a big city, got access to a bunch of dick, and.

..

Then it was like, yeah, I guess this is the thing.

So...

I don't know.

So... Sounds pretty cliché.

Doesn't make it any less valid, though.

I feel like if this were a gay movie, this would be the

part where one of us says something real heavy, like...

Yeah.

Something, like...

Quietly profound.

And they whisper it.

And... Get all teary-eyed.

You should do it.

Right now.

You should tell me something like that.

Like...

I don't know.

This...

Night was supposed to turn out much differently.

Hmm.

Well...

Tonight's not over yet.

Hmm.

Yeah.

I'm...

I'm getting up, man.

I'm going to have to go to bed.

I have an early morning tomorrow.

I mean, yeah.

I appreciate it.

But like... Oh.

I mean, you didn't see his face.

And I just...

I can't help thinking that I ruined this and it's...

Hold on.

Hey, sorry.

I gotta call you back.

Yeah.

Hey.

Hey.

Uh, did I leave my... Oh, yes.

Um...

It's over here.

Okay.

Cool.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

So I really do have an early morning... well, tomorrow.

Yeah.

I didn't think you didn't.

Good.

Good.

Hey, look.

If you're worried that I'm somehow offended or...

turned off because of tonight, let me just say that...

Look, you don't have to... No, please.

I know that you meant it when you said that...

tonight was supposed to turn out differently.

And...

I know that you're pissed off that it didn't.

But honestly, I'm just...

I'm just glad that we got to hang out.

And I am perfectly happy taking things a little slower.

If... you want to.

I'm... you know, still in this, if you are.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

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