Original subtitles

[ Upbeat music plays ]

>> Dad: And that's why you should never mix pop rocks and soda.

>> Mom: Okay... Anyone else have a riveting tale?

>> Dad: I do! >> Mom: Oh, Richard, let's hear from the children.

>> Gumball: Well, penny asked me out on a date. No biggie.

>> Mom: She did?! That's great news! What did she say?

>> Gumball: Well... Excuse me -- what?! >> Do you want to come 'round my

house this Saturday? >> Gumball: Me? With you? At your place?

>> You see, it's Mr. cuddles'... [ Dreamlike music plays ] >> Gumball: [ Sighs ]

Yeah, that's about it. >> Mom: Oh, my little boy is becoming a man.

[ Both grunting ] >> Gumball: Mom! >> Darwin: Man, you're my hero.

You're going on this big date, and you're not even nervous! I'd be freaking out!

I mean, think about it -- if you blow it, she'll never speak to you again, and you'll be left

alone for the rest of your life and never find happiness! >> Mom: don't worry, sweetie.

Just be yourself. That's all a girl wants. >> Gumball: [ Sighs ]

Thanks, mom. >> Mom: See you after work. >> All: Bye!

>> Dad: [ Laughs ] [ Door opens, closes ] Ah.

>> Gumball: What? >> Dad: Listen, son, ignore everything your mother just

said. >> Gumball: Why? >> Dad: Look, women only think

they want us to be ourselves because they don't know how wretched we actually are.

What you have to do is think of someone really cool and attractive and be them.

>> Gumball: R-really? But -- but, anais, is this true? >> Anais: I'm gonna have to go

with dad on this one. You're kind of a loser, gumball. >> Dad: Exactly.

>> Anais: Sorry. >> Gumball: What am i gonna do? I really like penny.

I want her to like me, too. >> Darwin: You could start by being romantic, dress up a

little, buy her some presents. >> Gumball: Well, i can't do any of those things.

I don't have any money. >> Dad: Listen, son, you don't need money to show a girl a good

time. You think i have money? >> Gumball: Uh...No?

>> Dad: Do you see mom leaving me? >> Gumball: Yeah, every day to

go to work and earn money. >> Dad: [ Laughs ] There's other ways to get stuff

without spending money. Do you want to hear the secrets kept for centuries by watterson

men? >> Gumball: I...Don't have any choice, do i?

>> Dad: No! Come with me. First things first -- we need to

get you some nice clothes. >> Gumball: Yeah, penny loves fashion!

That's a great idea! >> Dad: Here we are -- the greatest department store in the

world, where everything is free! [ Flies buzzing ] So, anything new?

Whoo! That's nice. >> Gumball: What? You're going to get my date

clothes out of a dump? Oh, man, that's gross. >> Dad: I didn't hear you

complaining when i gave you that sweater. >> Gumball: What?!

My favorite sweater came out of the dump?! >> Dad: [ Chuckling ] No.

don't be silly. I found it in a sewage outlet. >> Gumball: Oh, man.

I wear this all the time. >> Dad: You are gonna look smashing.

>> Gumball: You think so? >> Dad: Right. You've got the look, but you're

going to need a bit of money in your pocket so you can treat her on the date, and I'm going to

show you a great way of getting money for free.

Behold -- the credit card! I simply take this magic card,

insert it like so, type in the secret magic number that mom

told me, and money comes out of the little mouth! It works every ti--

ah, ah, ah-choo! [ Blows nose ] [ Beeping ]

You see? Here you go, son. >> Gumball: Awesome!

Hey, hey, beautiful. Oh, hey, penny. I didn't see you there.

Yeah, i was just passing by -- you know, chillin' with my new hat.

Ha ha. I think I'm ready for my date. >> Anais: Are you?

Have you even considered how you're gonna behave on this date?

>> Gumball: Yeah, I'm probably gonna be well-behaved. >> Anais: I mean, like, manners

and etiquette. >> Gumball: U-uh... Aah!

>> Anais: Start by pouring Mrs. pumpernickel a cup of tea. >> Gumball: I don't wanna.

>> Anais: Why? >> Gumball: 'Cause she's looking at me funny.

See? >> Anais: Gumball, she's a doll. Why don't you try having a

civilized conversation with her? >> Gumball: All right. So, how was your day,

Mrs. pumpernickel? Oh. I see. Too good to talk to me, huh?

[ Voice breaking ] You think you're better than me with your fancy, little cups and

"la-de-da" friends? Well, you know nothing about life, Mrs. pumpernickel!

And this is what i do to your fancy China! [ Sobbing ]

>> Anais: Gumball, just get out of my room. >> Gumball: Okay, so, I'm set.

Got my look, i know where I'm taking her. I'm ready to go.

>> Darwin: There's one thing you're not ready for. >> Gumball: What's that?

>> Darwin: This! >> Gumball: Ow! What was that?

>> Darwin: The unexpected, and you weren't prepared for it. >> Gumball: Oh.

Uh, i-i see what you mean. >> Darwin: Follow me to the training camp.

>> Gumball: Where? >> Darwin: Just come to the backyard.

You've got to be prepared for anything on this date, because anything could happen.

>> Gumball: Like what? >> Darwin: What if someone tries to mug you?!

>> Gumball: I don't know. Call the police? >> Darwin: [ Imitates buzzer ]

Wrong. Knock his block off! >> Gumball: Enh.

Like that? >> Darwin: Uh, that was good. But it's better to finish with a

wisecrack. Women love that. >> Gumball: Like what?

>> Darwin: Like "welcome to punch town -- population, you." >> Gumball: Are you sure this is

gonna help me with my date? >> Darwin: Totally. >> Gumball: Okay.

>> Darwin: [ Deep voice ] Hi. I'm penny's father, and i don't approve of you because you don't

have any prospects. >> Gumball: Hah! I'm sorry, daddy, but you're

grounded. >> Darwin: [ Snootily ] Oh, hello.

I'm Sebastian lonkwin, penny's successful ex-boyfriend. >> Gumball: Hah!

Looks like this "ex" is catching some z's. >> Darwin: [ Normal voice ] Is

that all you got?! What do you say to someone who doesn't believe in love?

>> Gumball: Hah! You don't need that heart. >> Darwin: Actually, that was a

little too extreme, but I'll give you an 8 out of 10. Good job, soldier.

[ Sighs ] The hardest part of my job is watching them leave.

>> Gumball: So? >> Dad: Oh, son! You look like a million bucks!

>> Darwin: I'm proud of you, buddy. Did you remember to -- hah!

Very good, because i thought you were gonna be surprised! Okay.

But will you be prepared for -- third surprise?! >> Gumball: That one was pretty

obvious, dude. >> Darwin: Oh. >> Gumball: This is gonna be the

greatest date ever! [ Doorbell rings ] >> Gumball: Hey.

>> Oh, thanks for coming, gumball. You look...Uh...Dressed.

I guess you should come in. >> Gumball: Oh, well, that's one way to get in the house.

[ Laughs ] >> Right. >> Gumball: So, what do you want

to do today? >> Today is the funeral. >> Gumball: Oh.

>> For Mr. cuddles, my pet. >> Gumball: Oh, thank goodness. I thought it might be a real

funeral. [ Laughs ] I...Mean, pets -- pets are

great, like part of the family. So, what happened to him? >> My dad flushed him down the

toilet by mistake. >> Gumball: [ Stifled laugh ] That's terrible.

Did he go 'round and 'round or straight down? >> Straight down.

I'm penny's father. >> Gumball: Wah-hah! Blocked.

>> Right. Come to the backyard. The service is about to start.

>> Gumball: [ Sighs ] Penny, I'm sorry. I thought this was a date.

Why didn't you tell me it was a funeral? >> I did, in the corridor at

school. Do you want to come to my house? It's Mr. cuddles' funeral.

I could use some support from a friend. Gumball, are you even listening?

>> Gumball: This Saturday, 4:00 P.M. it's -- it's a date.

[ Giggling ] Oh, oh. Oh, yeah.

don't worry. I'm still here for you, penny.

>> Thanks, gumball. >> Gumball: Awesome!

...day for remembering those who have left us. Shall we go?

[ "Amazing grace" plays on bagpipes ]

[ Thunder crashes ] >> Gumball, perhaps you'd like to say a few words about

Mr. cuddles. >> Gumball: Uh, o-of course. Well, Mr. cuddles was penny's

pet. Even though i never met him, penny's pretty hot, so I'm sure

he was pretty hot, too. [ Thunder crashes ] >> Thank you, gumball.

That was really special. >> My picture! >> Gumball: Huh?

>> My sister made a photo tribute so we can all remember Mr. cuddles.

>> Gumball: Aw, how thoughtful. >> Want to see? >> Gumball: Aaaaaaaaaaah!

A spider! Knock his block off! That's awful! I hate spiders! Who would want something that

creepy in their house? Ew, ew, ew! >> [ Crying ]

>> Listen, son, i think it's best you leave. >> Gumball: I'll, uh, let myself

out. >> Play on, dear. ¶ oh, Danny boy ¶

¶ the pipes, the pipes -- ¶ >> gumball: Uh, sorry. It's me again.

Can i use your bathroom, 'cause it's kind of a long -- >> it's the second on the left

upstairs. >> Gumball: Thanks. [ Rapid footsteps ]

>> ¶ From Glen to Glen ¶ >> gumball: Have a nice funeral! >> Just get out of here!

>> Gumball: Aw, man, what is wrong with me? She's never gonna forgive me

for that. I'll spend the rest of my life alone and never find happiness.

>> [ Hisses ] >> Gumball: Aaaaaaaaah! A spider! Knock his block off!

No, wait. >> ¶ but come ye back -- ¶ >> gumball: Hey!

I found Mr. cuddles! He's on the toilet! >> Is he trying to say

something? >> Gumball: He's on the toilet! Look! The toilet!

>> Just ignore him. ¶ and white with snow ¶ >> gumball: [ Sighs ]

I guess I'll have to show them. Come here, little fella. Who's a good spider?

Who's a lovely, good spider? Oh, good boy, mister -- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Get off, get off, get off, get off, get off! Aaah! Aaah!

Aaaaaaah! Aah! Aaaaah! Ow! Ow! Ow!

>> [ Gasps ] >> don't look. You'll just encourage him.

>> Gumball: Ow!

[ Groans ] Ha ha! >> [ Chomps ]

>> Gumball: Ow! >> Aah! Mr. cuddles?

You're back! I thought you were gone forever! >> Where did you find him?

>> Gumball: In the toilet somewhere. >> Gumball, this is amazing.

>> Gumball: Oh, yeah, yeah, it's great. >> Son, i stand corrected.

I thought you were a good-for-nothing, young troublemaker, but no, you're --

>> gumball: Yeah, whatever. One question -- is that spider poisonous?

'Cause it just bit me. >> Yeah, but it's like a bee sting.

You'd have to be bitten, like, 150 times for it to be dangerous.

>> Gumball: Okay, thanks. If you'll excuse me, I'll go now.

Bye.

>> Anais: Ugh. He looks real bad. >> Darwin: Disgusting.

>> Mom: He looks awful. >> Dad: He'll never play the clarinet again.

>> Gumball: [ Groaning ] >> Mom: Shh, shh, shh. He's waking up.

>> Dad: [ Laughs ] Looking good, champ. >> Mom: Someone's here to see

you, honey. >> Hi, gumball. >> Gumball: [ Muffled ] Uh, hey,

penny. >> I brought someone along who wants to say "sorry."

Right, Mr. cuddles? >> [ Hisses ]

>> Dad: [ Panting ] Come on, you guys! We're gonna be late!

>> Gumball: Remind me again exactly why we're at school on a Saturday.

[ Screech! ] >> Dad: Are you kidding me? It's club day.

It's the only day of the week when i get to hang out with people i really like.

>> All: What?! >> Dad: Uh, uh... Got to go!

>> Mom: Okay... See you all back here at 5:00. >> Gumball: But wait!

I don't have a club to go to! Well, mom, looks like it's your lucky day.

I'm coming with you to your anger-management club. >> Mom: Oh, that's sweet,

gumball, but behind this door, I'm a very different person. Trust me, you don't want to see

this. >> Hello, Nicole. Welcome to -- aaach!

Uuuuuh. >> Anais: Could you guys keep it down a little?

>> Mom: You keep it down!! >> Gumball: Hey, anais. [ Whoosh! ]

What club are you in? >> Anais: Physics club. >> Gumball: Well, today's your

lucky day, because i -- >> anais: Let me stop you right there.

You know there are different types of intelligence? >> Gumball: Yeah.

>> Anais: I don't think you have any of them. >> Gumball: I don't get it.

>> Anais: Exactly. >> Gumball: Oh, come on! Oh, let me in!

[ Grunts ] don't be a club hog! [ Scoffs ]

Fine. Dad, can i join your fantasy club?

>> Dad: [ With brogue ] Who be therrre? >> Gumball: It's me -- gumball.

>> Darwin: Be you orc? >> Gumball: No. >> Dad: Be you dwarf?

>> Gumball: No, I'm your son. >> Dad: Be you bearer of savory snacks for the elders?

>> Gumball: What? No. >> Dad: Then begone!

>> Gumball: [ Sighs ] >> Darwin: What's up? >> Gumball: Man, there's got to

be a club for me somewhere. >> Darwin: You could always join my club.

>> Gumball: What is it? >> Darwin: Synchronized swimming!

[ Classical music plays ]

>> Gumball: Hmmm. You're good, but i can do better.

Here comes the swan dive of eternal beauty! [ Swan calling ]

[ Bubble! Bubble! Bubble! ] [ Pip! ] [ Coughing ]

So, how graceful was that? >> Darwin: Dude, you can't swim. >> Gumball: [ Coughs ]

Fair point. Uh...Has anyone seen my trunks? >> Yeaaah!

Touchdown! >> All right! >> Slam-dunk!

>> Both: Yeeaaaahh! >> Gumball: Uh, hey, guys. Is this the football club?

>> Both: Yeeaaahh! >> Gumball: Well, uh, did i miss the game?

>> No, it's going on right out there. >> Gumball: Why aren't you

playing? >> Both: 'Cause we're the reserve team!

>> Gumball: Cool. So, can i join? >> I don't know.

Are you man enough? >> Gumball: [ Scoffs ] Me?

I'm at least 50% man. >> Well, in that case, here's your towel.

>> Gumball: Thanks. So...Do you guys ever get to play?

>> Nah, we just hang out here and act kinda sporty. >> Gumball: You guys just take

showers, hang around in towels, and high-five each other? >> Heh!

There's a little bit more to it than that. [ Whirl! Crack! ]

>> Gumball: Aah! [ Whirl! Crack! ] Ow! Okay!

[ Crack! ] Ow! Okay, okay!

[ Whirl! Whirl! Whirl! ] [ Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! ] [ Crack! Crack! ]

[ Rumble! ] >> Hey, Hector, is the game over?

>> Yeah. We lost. >> Oh.

>> Gumball: What? [ Whirl! Whirl! ] [ Crack!! ]

>> All: Aaaahhh! >> Gumball: Aah. Aah.

Ohh. Heh. [ Door locks ]

Oh, why doesn't anyone want me in their club? It can't have anything to do

with me -- my talent, my intelligence, or my general awesomeness.

You know what? Too bad for you jealous people, 'cause I'm starting my own club,

and you are not invited! Okay, I'd like to welcome everyone to "gumball's club of

gumball." First order of business -- attendance.

Hmm. Pretty good. Now, it seems like recently

we've been let down by certain...Family members. So i propose a little exercise

in trust. Okay, don't worry, gumball. Just close your eyes, let

yourself fall back, and someone will catch you. Well, I'm a bit scared, gumball.

Well, that's why it's called a trust exercise. Come on, dude.

Mm... Okay. [ Inhales deeply ]

[ Thud! ] [ Grunts ] [ Sighs ]

All in favor of disbanding the club, say "aye." Aye.

Motion carried. Aw, man. I'm such a reject.

I wish there was a club for people like me that no one liked.

I'd join that club in a second. I wouldn't even care what it was about.

[ Eerie whispering ] Huh? Uh...What's going on?

>> Look no further, fellow loser. >> Gumball: What the...?

>> We are the unloved, the weird. >> Gumball: [ Gasps ]

>> Let me introduce you to... >> Gumball: [ Whimpers ] >> ...The reject club!

Always accepting new members. >> Gumball: [ Snickers ] Thanks.

I'm desperate, but not that desperate. >> No, wait!

We really need new members. We're so bored of talking to each other, we've been phoning

up the speaking clock for conversation. If you want, you could be our

president or something. Or -- or -- or even better, our king!

Picture this -- gumball watterson, king of the rejects!

>> All: Eh? >> Gumball: What? King of the rejects?

Seriously? [ Laughs ] Thanks for the offer, guys, but

it's a "no." [ Chuckling ] King of the rejects.

>> He rejected us. >> And laughed at our loneliness.

>> Well, we'll see if he's still too good for us when we've finished with him.

To the nerd-mobile! >> All: ¶ nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn,

nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn, nuhn ¶

>> gumball: Rejected, even by my own family! >> Mom: Look, honey, you're not

a baby anymore. You need to be able to do things on your own.

>> Dad: Oh, there must have been one club that wanted you. >> Darwin: Yeah -- the rejects

club. >> Gumball: But i politely declined.

>> Dad: Aaaaah! Oh, it's okay. It landed in the vegetables.

Aaaah! The cake! >> Gumball: Look -- there's a DVD tied to it.

[ Beep ] >> Greetings, gumball watterson, from our secret lair.

>> Anais: Isn't that just the library? >> Dad: Shh! There's more!

>> So, you think you're too good for us, eh? Well, you'll soon change your

mind when we upload your embarrassing school record in a web video hosted by none other

than you. My name is gumball watterson, and my i.Q. Is smaller than my

shoe size. I wore diapers up till the age of 11, and i once got detention

for calling miss simian "mum." >> Dad: Aah! He looks just like you!

>> Our revenge plan is almost complete. >> Uploading.

10 minutes till completion. >> Mwa-ha-ha-ha! And...Cut.

How was i? Evil enough? >> Gumball: Oh, great. Now the nerds are bullying me.

I guess you want me to deal with this on my own. >> Mom: No.

When someone picks a fight with one of us, they pick a fight with all of us.

Everybody, get in the car. We've still got time to stop them.

>> Dad: But where is their secret hideout? >> Anais: It's in the library!

[ Tires screech ] >> Gumball: Noooo! It's locked!

My reputation is ruined! >> Mom: No, not yet. Quick -- someone make me angry.

>> Dad: Uhhh...I taped a wrestling match over our wedding video.

>> Mom: Rrrrrrrrrgggghhhh! Go on without me! Unh!

I'm out of contro-o-o-o-l!

[ Screech! ] >> Thou shalt not pass! >> Dad: You've crossed the wrong

wizard, young man! I am level 40! Let the battle commence!

>> Hurrah! I get the first shot. Meteor sword! >> Dad: Eugh! Ah! Ooh! Eh!

He's good, but i can't afford to lose. Magic iron!

>> Doinggg! Deflected by the shield of rampor!

[ Both gasp ] >> Both: Free spell! >> Uh!

>> Dad: You'll have to go without me. I'm stuck for the next two

turns. >> Gumball: Come on! The computer's just up ahead!

[ Screech! ] >> Darwin: [ Gasps ] Watch out!

[ All gasp ] >> Gumball: [ Sighs ] Relax.

It's only bobert. I can take him. >> Initiating combat mode.

[ Beeping ]

[ Growls ] >> All: Aaaaaahhh!

>> Anais: don't worry, guys. I got this.

Ehhhhhhhhhhh... >> Gumball: What are you doing?

>> Anais: Leave it to me. Just go around him.

>> Gumball: Are you sure you're gonna be okay?

>> Anais: don't worry. The power of physics has never

failed me yet! [ Guns cock ]

[ Crackle! ] [ Crash! ]

[ Whir! Whir! Whir! Whir! ] >> [ Powering down ] >> Gumball: The computer!

This is our chance to stop the upload. >> 30 seconds to completion.

>> Darwin: [ Gasps ] There's a guard! >> Wsshhh! Wsh! Wsh! Wsh!

Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. Eh-eh-eh! >> Darwin: That guy looks pretty

dangerous. >> Gumball: What are we gonna do?

>> Darwin: Leave it to me. >> Wsh! Wsh! >> Darwin: Come on, punk.

>> Hmm? >> Darwin: Let's dance. [ Classical music plays ]

>> [ Gasps ] Such grace! The rhythm...

Must...Synchronize! >> Gumball: Thanks, buddy. >> 5 seconds to completion.

>> Gumball: Yes! My reputation is safe. >> 4 seconds till completion.

[ Video-game noises ] >> Gumball: Aaaah! >> 3 seconds.

>> Gumball: Eh! Eh! >> 2 seconds. 1 second till completion.

>> Gumball: [ Grunting ] >> Upload complete. >> Gumball: Nooooooooooo!

>> Sending to all school contacts. >> My name is

gumball Trisha watterson. That's right -- Trisha is my middle name, and i was born

without eyebrows and need to draw them on every day. On hot days, i smell like pâté,

and teachers are advised not to mention it. Also, i have a glandular

problem that causes -- >> gumball: Okay! Okay.

You win. I'll join your club. >> Are you kidding?

Have you seen your school record? We're desperate, but we're not

that desperate. [ Laughter ] >> Gumball: [ Sighs ] Great.

Rejected by the reject club. Well, that's my reputation ruined until college.

>> Anais: No, it isn't. I counter-hacked the main school server and rerouted the e-mail

before it got to anyone. >> Gumball: [ Sighs ] Oh, thank you, sis.

>> Darwin: don't worry. We'll always be there for you. >> Anais: You're part of the

watterson club...Trisha. >> Gumball: Yeah, and whose great idea was that?

>> Dad: What's wrong with it? It's short for "tristopher." >> Mom: Richard, i thought we

agreed on "Christopher." >> Dad: Christopher, tristopher -- same thing, right?

>> Darwin: So, what shall we do with these guys? >> Mom: Well, i think the

responsible thing to do would be to drive them home and tell their parents what they've done.

[ Muffled grunting ] >> Darwin: No? Then how about we spray you in

honey and drop you off in the bear cage at the zoo? [ Muffled grunting ]

>> Gumball: Okay, maybe you'd prefer to be dropped off naked at the mall?

[ Muffled grunting ] All those in favor, say "aye." >> All: Aye!

>> Gumball: Motion carried.