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1
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:06,090
Hidey ho, all you
"South Park" -a-teers out there.
2
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,383
Hidey ho!
3
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,968
I'm rootin' tootin'
Trey Parker.
4
00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,404
And I'm pistol-slingin'
Matt Stone.
5
00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:11,508
And this here's
old Scratch.
6
00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:12,805
Say hi, old fella.
7
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,390
Hi, Scratch.
8
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,995
You know, Matt and I are
right excited
9
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,685
about this next episode
of "South Park,"
10
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:19,687
because it's our
favorite episode.
11
00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:21,731
That's right.
It's called "Starvin' Marvin,"
12
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,607
and it originally aired
on Thanksgiving.
13
00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:25,568
In it, the boys celebrate
the holiday
14
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,570
with a visitor
from a far-off land.
15
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,780
You know, when Comedy Central
Called us and asked us
16
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,407
to do a Thanksgiving special,
17
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,534
the first thing that
went through my mind was,
18
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,495
"Boy, I'd like to have
sex with Jennifer Aniston."
19
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,914
Cup her perky breasts
in my hands
20
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,791
and put my hand
back and kind of...
21
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,626
Nice little
tight buns there.
22
00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,420
But you know,
the thing about this episode
23
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,380
is that it teaches
racial tolerance,
24
00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:47,983
to treat everyone
as an equal regardless
25
00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:49,550
of the color
of their skin.
26
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,093
Oh, look,
it's our Indian friend,
27
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,553
Indian Companion.
Say hi, kids.
28
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,138
Hi!
29
00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,765
What's happenin',
Indian Companion?
30
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,934
Something coming.
Grizzly bear.
31
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,454
Oh, well, why don't you
go over there
32
00:01:00,478 --> 00:01:01,896
and kick him
in the balls?
33
00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:04,815
Grizzly bears like
being kicked in the balls.
34
00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,611
- Dumb ass.
- He's so stupid.
35
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,613
Well, why don't you all
sit back and have
36
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,407
a rootin' tootin' good time
with "Starvin' Marvin"?
37
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:16,327
Yee-ha!
38
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,414
Hooray!
39
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,675
I'm going down
to South Park.
40
00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:33,511
Gonna have
myself a time.
41
00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:35,304
Friendly faces
everywhere.
42
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,931
Humble folks
without temptation.
43
00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:38,390
Going down
to South Park.
44
00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,351
Gonna leave my
woes behind.
45
00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:42,061
Ample parking
day or night.
46
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,813
People spouting:
"Howdy neighbor."
47
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,314
Headed on up
to South Park.
48
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,024
Gonna see if
I can't unwind.
49
00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:51,904
So come on down
to South Park.
50
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,823
And meet some
friends of mine.
51
00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,786
- That was awesome!
- Yeah!
52
00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,913
Would you boys
like some Cheesy Poofs?
53
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,832
Get out of the way, mom!
54
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,351
The "Terrance and Phillip"
Thanksgiving Special is on.
55
00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,751
Sure, hon.
56
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,336
And yeah,
we want Cheesy Poofs!
57
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,861
Hey, Terrance, looks like
this might
58
00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,756
be a good
place to start a new colony.
59
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,174
It sure does, Phillip.
60
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,779
No one will oppress
our religion here.
61
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,515
You stained
my pilgrim hat, butt-pipe!
62
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,642
Did you guys see that?
That was sweet.
63
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,727
Coming up next
on the "Terrance and Phillip".
64
00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:26,313
Thanksgiving Special, Phillip
farts on Terrance and laughs.
65
00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,648
Oh, cool.
66
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,483
And now a word
from our sponsor.
67
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,694
Here in the heart
of Africa, children are dying.
68
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,612
Not from disease or war,
but from hunger.
69
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,656
I'm Sally Struthers.
70
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,141
These children are in desperate
need, and only you can help.
71
00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:39,994
Hey, who's that fat chick?
72
00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:42,239
Sally Struthers, dude.
She used to be on "Full House."
73
00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,957
You see, here,
in the middle of Africa,
74
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,750
food is extremely scarce.
75
00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:47,936
Doesn't look like she's
having
76
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,336
any trouble finding food.
77
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:50,337
Yeah,
she's fatter than Cartman.
78
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,214
Yeah.
Hey!
79
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,259
For just $5 a month,
you can sponsor a child.
80
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,678
That's stupid, who
the hell would want to do that?
81
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,638
Sponsor now,
and we'll also
82
00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,641
send you this Teiko digital
sports watch as a free gift.
83
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:03,809
Kick ass!
84
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,603
Sweet!
85
00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:08,272
I'll call... I know
my mom's credit card number.
86
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:09,857
Did they say
if it's waterproof?
87
00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:12,067
Hello?
Is this Sally Struthers?
88
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,736
- Oh.
- What did she say?
89
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,613
Shut up butt-pirate,
I'm trying to hear.
90
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,823
- Ass-rammer.
- Yeah? Yeah.
91
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,548
We want to adopt
a starving Ether-nopian.
92
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,160
When do we
get the sports watch?
93
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:24,288
- Just a second fat-ass!
- You vas-deferens!
94
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,540
Hello?
No, no, it's a ma...
95
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,876
Vas-deferens?
96
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,546
Ask her if we get
the watch right away.
97
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,924
Do we get the sports
watch right away?
98
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,800
- She says we do.
- Cool.
99
00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:40,304
I get to wear it first,
you guys.
100
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,764
I can't wait to get out
of school
101
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,307
and get
our Teiko sports watch.
102
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,100
Yeah, but I get
to wear it first, I said.
103
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,937
Children, children!
To honor this special time
104
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,439
of year, we'll be
doing a canned food drive.
105
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,858
Does anybody know
what a canned food drive is?
106
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,401
Yes, Eric?
107
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,070
When they cut up a chick's
stomach
108
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,113
to get a baby out?
109
00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:01,283
No, that's a Caesarian
Section, Eric, but that's okay,
110
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,578
remember, there are no stupid
questions, just stupid people.
111
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:07,039
A canned food drive is
when we collect canned food
112
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,708
for poor people who can't
afford to eat on Thanksgiving.
113
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,044
- You mean, like Kenny?
- Exactly.
114
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,796
Mr. Garrison?
115
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,798
Why do poor people
always smell like sour milk?
116
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,050
I don't know, Eric,
they just do.
117
00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,154
Now, children,
I want each of you to bring
118
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,638
in one can of food.
119
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,640
And later,
the mayor of South Park will
120
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,643
divide it up amongst Kenny's
family and other poor people.
121
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,979
I'm not bringing in food
for poor people, screw them!
122
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,564
Don't you want to help
those who are less fortunate?
123
00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:34,858
Hey you guys,
do you hear something?
124
00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:37,069
I... I think I hear
the flower children calling!
125
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,946
This is the one time of year
126
00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,657
you're supposed to care
about people who can't eat!
127
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,534
Isn't it
enough that I pay taxes?
128
00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,577
What about the poor
houses that I pay for?
129
00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:48,998
Many would rather
die than go to those places!
130
00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,541
Well then,
perhaps they should,
131
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,334
and decrease
the surplus population!
132
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,712
Okay, kids, that's
enough Dickens for one day.
133
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,880
Let's get on with our lesson,
right, Mr. Hat?
134
00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,716
That's right,
Mr. Garrison,
135
00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,634
Englebert Humperdink
was the first person
136
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,052
on the moon.
Who was the second?
137
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,601
What the hell is going on?
138
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:22,531
Well,
you don't see that every day.
139
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:26,035
Okay, now, once we have all
the canned foods collected,
140
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,246
we'll need some clever way
to distribute them to the poor.
141
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,582
It should be
something festive.
142
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:34,418
Mayor,
we've got a very big problem.
143
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,895
Ah, you're that insane
genetic engineer
144
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,671
from up on the hill, right?
145
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:40,507
Yes, and I may have
made a horrible mistake.
146
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,259
I was trying
to genetically engineer
147
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,384
turkeys
for Thanksgiving.
148
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,197
You know,
to provide food for the needy.
149
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,057
Of course.
150
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,642
Well, something went wrong
and the turkeys broke free.
151
00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:54,229
And the worst part is,
they're really pissed off.
152
00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:58,650
Naturally.
Oh, do go on.
153
00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:01,278
We have to stop them or... or
they could destroy everything.
154
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:02,863
Time is short.
155
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:06,784
You were saying?
156
00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,912
They act just like normal
turkeys, except they're evil.
157
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,873
Oh, my!
158
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,170
Somehow I don't think
you're taking me seriously.
159
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,882
Now why
would you say that?
160
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,176
Did it come?
Did it come? Is it here yet?
161
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,762
I get to use
it first, you guys!
162
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,890
Mom, did our digital
sports watch come yet?
163
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,600
Not yet, hon.
164
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,811
- Damn.
- Hey, look, you guys.
165
00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:36,355
And now, back to Part 2
of the "Terrance and Phillip".
166
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,732
Thanksgiving Special.
167
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,025
I sure am cold, Phillip.
168
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,777
Yes, and hungry too.
169
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,862
Being a pilgrim
totally sucks ass.
170
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,489
Gosh, I hope we
don't starve.
171
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:50,619
Ah, a squeaker!
172
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,917
The digital
sports watch is here!
173
00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:01,964
What the hell?
174
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,091
Dude, that's not
a digital sports watch.
175
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,718
Hey, it looks like
one of those Ether-opians.
176
00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:08,637
Oh, man, they must
have accidentally sent him
177
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,139
instead of the sports watch.
178
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,825
Maybe they took it literally
when we said
179
00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:12,933
we wanted to adopt a kid.
180
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,937
Whoa! That was cool.
181
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,782
Yeah, how did he
make those clicking sounds?
182
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,774
- What's your name dude?
- Mabin.
183
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,359
I think he said
his name is Marvin.
184
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,903
Yeah, Starvin' Marvin.
185
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,989
Nice to meet
you, Starvin' Marvin.
186
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,991
- Hey, mom?
- Yes, hon?
187
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,702
We found a Ether-opian,
can we keep him?
188
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:34,496
- Sure, hon.
- Sweet.
189
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,540
Dude, let's bring
him to school tomorrow.
190
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,083
Come on,
Starvin' Marvin,
191
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,648
I want you to meet
my little brother.
192
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,795
No, no! He's my son!
I adopted him.
193
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,172
It was my mom's credit card.
194
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,840
Okay, okay,
we'll switch off.
195
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,192
Starvin' Marvin can
stay here for a week,
196
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,177
then at Stan's, then with me.
197
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,363
Yeah, and never with Kenny,
because his family is too poor.
198
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:51,680
Totally.
199
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:56,351
Look how the leaves
fall so delicately
200
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,061
on the surface
of the pond.
201
00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,147
It's so beautiful.
202
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:04,359
Not as beautiful as you.
203
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,199
Oh, darling, look.
Thanksgiving turkeys.
204
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:15,287
- Oh, they're so beautiful.
- Not as beautiful as you.
205
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,499
Look at the way
they foam at the mouth,
206
00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:23,337
- like beautiful suds of beer.
- Not as beautiful as-
207
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,347
This is a great way for you
208
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,140
to experience America,
Starvin' Marvin.
209
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,145
This is what we call
an 'all you can eat buffet.
210
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:40,437
Yeah, here you get to eat
all you want for only $6.99.
211
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,481
That's why we all come
here on Tuesday nights,
212
00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:44,042
except for Kenny's
family, 'cause to them,
213
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,400
$6.99 is two years' income.
214
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,071
Why is your family
poor, Starvin' Marvin?
215
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:52,199
Is your dad an alcoholic too?
216
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:53,700
You see, Starvin' Marvin,
217
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,911
these are what
we call appetizers.
218
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,496
Ap-ee-tizer.
219
00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,414
This is what
you eat before you eat,
220
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,334
to make you more hungry.
221
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,212
Well, food is here,
that's it for the appetizers.
222
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:11,843
No, Starvin' Marvin,
that's my pot-pie.
223
00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:13,905
Cartman, you butt-pipe,
this is the time of year you're
224
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,765
- supposed to share.
- Oh yeah, you're right.
225
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,725
Are you gonna eat
all of your peach cobbler?
226
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,210
No, you don't want all that.
Why don't you share it with me?
227
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,938
Just shove it
on over here.
228
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,232
Let me just have
some of that, huh?
229
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,777
Children, children!
230
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,655
I'm a little disappointed
in your Thanksgiving spirit.
231
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,156
Only a few cans have been
232
00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:35,409
donated to our
canned food drive.
233
00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:37,369
And can't we do
a little better than
234
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,912
creamed corn...
235
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:42,874
creamed corn...
and... creamed corn?
236
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,210
Please bring in more diverse
food, children, or else.
237
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:49,006
Kenny's family is going to have
a pretty corny Thanksgiving.
238
00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:55,929
Corny. Gravy.
239
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,307
Corny
Thanksgiving, hoo!
240
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,185
Anyway, children,
I understand a few of you have
241
00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,354
brought in something
special for show-and-tell.
242
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,106
Yeah, yeah, we do!
243
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:09,735
All right, boys,
show us what you've brought.
244
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:14,531
This is our new Ether-nopian,
Starvin' Marvin.
245
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,336
He can do really
cool stuff with his voice.
246
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,160
Show 'em, Starvin' Marvin.
247
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:21,538
No, Starvin' Marvin,
that's Kenny's creamed corn.
248
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:24,041
No, Starvin' Marvin,
that's a bad Starvin' Marvin!
249
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,751
Boys,
what the hell are you doing?
250
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:27,336
This is horribly,
horribly wrong.
251
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,920
How did you get this child?
252
00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,356
He was accidentally
delivered to us
253
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,840
instead
of a sports watch.
254
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,550
The sports watch
from the commercial?
255
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,719
- Yeah, that one.
- I want a Starvin' Marvin.
256
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,639
- Me too.
- Yes, I'll pay $50 for one.
257
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,976
Boys, you're too
young to take care of a child.
258
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,686
I'm afraid I'm going
to have to call
259
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,271
the Red
Cross and have him returned.
260
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,773
I told you we shouldn't have
261
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:49,232
brought him to school dude.
262
00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,068
Okay, thank you very much.
263
00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:53,236
Yes, you can pick
him up tonight. Bye now.
264
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,922
Now, boys, I hope
you've learned your lesson.
265
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,281
No.
266
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,741
You can't
care for this child!
267
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,026
But I thought we were
supposed
268
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,410
to care
on Thanksgiving.
269
00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,870
Yes,
but you don't actually get
270
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,413
involved with
the child's lives.
271
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,040
You're supposed
to just send money,
272
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,392
and once in a while
they write you a letter.
273
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,793
You see, Marvin didn't grow up
274
00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,294
in a normal
place like South Park.
275
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,004
So why can't
he live here now?
276
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,131
- Because he can't!
- Because why?
277
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:15,050
Because eight year
olds can't be parents!
278
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,760
Then you take care of him.
279
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:20,555
I can't.
I... Umm, I'm very busy.
280
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,891
I send my $5 a month, see?
281
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,686
This sucks,
Starvin' Marvin is our friend.
282
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,491
Oh well, back
to the poor country with you.
283
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,082
You better watch
what you say, Cartman!
284
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,774
You might be poor
and hungry some day.
285
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,776
Yeah, right.
286
00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,363
I knew that you
were the only person
287
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:37,948
who would
listen to me, Chef.
288
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,825
Yeah, well,
let's get it over with.
289
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,369
This place gives
me the Bubujeebies.
290
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:45,330
Look here in my microscope.
Tell me what you see.
291
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:49,501
Uhh, I see
an extreme close-up
292
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:52,170
of Vanessa Redgrave's
private parts.
293
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,839
Oh, whoops.
294
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:56,425
Now tell me what you see.
295
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,552
Well, I'm no biologist,
296
00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,679
but I'd say it
looks like turkey DNA.
297
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,223
Precisely, but look
how rapidly it's dividing.
298
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,183
What does it mean?
299
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:08,270
Means the turkeys are
growing at an exponential rate.
300
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,606
If we don't destroy them all,
they'll take over the town.
301
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:15,485
- Maybe the world.
- Oh, fudge!
302
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,947
Uhh, let me see that
Vanessa Redgrave thing again.
303
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,366
Sure.
304
00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:27,497
Hello there, little boy,
we're looking for a starving.
305
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,666
African child who was
accidentally sent here instead
306
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:33,044
of a Teiko sports watch.
307
00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:39,593
Hey, hey,
what's going on?
308
00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,512
Hey, let go of me!
Hey!
309
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,431
Hey! I'll kick you in the nuts.
Okay, man?
310
00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:46,892
Here's your sports watch,
son, sorry for the mix-up.
311
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,727
Hey! Hey, seriously!
312
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,645
Hey, you're pissing me off!
313
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,898
Sweet.
314
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,529
So how does this thing work?
315
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,323
Well mayor,
it's based on the cash grab,
316
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,884
but instead of money,
the cans of food
317
00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:04,826
are blown around
inside the capsule.
318
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,746
The pov inside catches as many
as he can to feed his family.
319
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,624
- Pov?
- Poverty stricken citizen.
320
00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,751
Oh-ho-ho, brilliant.
321
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:20,342
What the hell is this?
322
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,968
I don't know, mayor,
323
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,571
I don't think it's
listed on the program.
324
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,305
They're increasing
in number, mayor.
325
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,350
These are the vicious
turkeys I warned you about.
326
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,392
It's true mayor!
327
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,103
Those turkeys just
ripped apart my cafeteria!
328
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,441
You won't get away with this,
you bastards!
329
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,110
Wow! Those are
some pissed off turkeys!
330
00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:45,408
Okay, people, don't panic!
Bring out the defense squad!
331
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,623
We need more than that!
332
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,959
They'll only come
back in increased numbers!
333
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:58,213
Hey, Phillip,
could you pass the beans?
334
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,131
Beans? Uh oh,
looks like we'll be
335
00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:02,050
at war with these
Indians soon.
336
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,594
Wait, wait, wait.
337
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:07,055
Here it comes.
338
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,267
I crapped in my pants!
339
00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,521
I think you got some
spatter on Chief Running Wolf.
340
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,565
I spattered his face!
341
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,442
Now he's a smelly Indian!
342
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,070
We'll be back to part 14
of the "Terrance and Phillip".
343
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,531
Thanksgiving Special,
right after this.
344
00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,534
Hunger is an enemy
that we all must fight.
345
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,328
These children
desperately need your support.
346
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,581
Hey,
somebody get me out of here!
347
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,875
This sucks!
So please,
348
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,960
call and adopt a child today.
349
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,462
I'm seriously
getting pissed off over here!!
350
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:42,090
You want some
more Cheesy Poofs, hon?
351
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,884
Ya, I won da Cheesy Poof.
352
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,845
- Okay.
- Sweet.
353
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,264
This is serious
bull!
354
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,559
There has to be a Happy
Burger around here somewhere.
355
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:57,606
Excuse me, I am a lost
little boy... Could you help me?
356
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,568
Well, screw you too!
357
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:04,321
What the... Who the hell
let all these flies in here?
358
00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:08,033
Hasn't anybody ever
heard of insect repellent?
359
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:11,286
All right, everyone,
it's time to give out
360
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,622
canned food to the poor.
361
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,667
Hey, where's Cartman?
362
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,378
I don't know. Do you
know where he is, Marvin?
363
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:24,132
Looks like we have the turkey
problem under control.
364
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,009
It's time to embrace
the spirit of giving
365
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:29,095
with the canned food grab.
366
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,768
Come on, hurry up.
367
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,814
Grab a lot son.
368
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:43,234
Happy happy Thanksgiving!
Let 'er rip!
369
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,908
Come on,
grab those cans, little boy!
370
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,789
- Come on, Kenny!
- Come on, son!
371
00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,169
Now, let's see all
the goodies you're going
372
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,880
to take home to your family.
373
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:09,469
It looks like he got a...
A can of string beans!
374
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,183
What the...
375
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,977
Dude,
the mutant turkeys are back!
376
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,193
Okay people, move along,
377
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,612
nothing to see here,
you looky-loos.
378
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,948
I tried to tell you,
but you didn't listen.
379
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:32,617
Gather around everybody,
and listen good.
380
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,704
Go to your
homes and arm your...
381
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:45,088
What the hell are
you supposed to be anyway?
382
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,048
That's not
important right now.
383
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,551
No! What the hell is this
little thing supposed to be?
384
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,094
It doesn't look like anything.
385
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,638
- Chef, the turkeys!
- Oh, All right.
386
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,057
Listen up everybody,
and listen good.
387
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,851
Go to your homes
388
00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,353
and arm yourselves
with whatever you can.
389
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:05,525
We'll meet back here
in 15 minutes. Hurry!
390
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,318
We are not going
to let our Thanksgiving
391
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,988
be ruined
by a bunch of turkeys.
392
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:16,828
You guys, seriously,
I'm hungry.
393
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,164
I have to eat.
394
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,249
Ah, sweet!
The Red Cross!
395
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,669
I'll have fried chicken and a
side of mashed potatoes please.
396
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,504
Sorry, kid,
but we're out of food.
397
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:27,881
We ran out of funding.
398
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,174
- What?
- We just didn't get
399
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,425
enough sponsors back home,
400
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,385
so now we've got
to pack it up.
401
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:33,738
But I'm not
a starving Ethiopian!
402
00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,346
I have to get back home too!
403
00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,557
Sorry dude,
we just don't have any funds.
404
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:40,310
Here, have
a Teiko sports watch.
405
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,272
Weak!
406
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:50,361
People, we all have to do our
part against the evil turkeys.
407
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:52,113
There's too many of them.
408
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,658
Come on! Where is
that Thanksgiving spirit?
409
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:59,245
We can't stop them.
410
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:03,792
Today,
you fight for your city!
411
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,252
You fight for your honor!
412
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:09,297
These turkeys will
continue to push until they
413
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,509
have taken everything from us!
414
00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:16,054
These fudged-up turkeys
from the the crustaceous era
415
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,098
can take our lives,
416
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:21,851
but they can never
take our freedom!
417
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,524
Whoo! Yeah!
Whoo!
418
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,167
Here you go, turkeys!
419
00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:53,967
Does my hair look okay?
420
00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,973
Can't go on...
421
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:04,102
need...
appetizer...
422
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:08,398
I'm sorry, God!
I'm sorry I mocked poor people.
423
00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,859
I'm sorry I
wasn't more sensitive.
424
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:15,196
Please, please, God.
425
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:22,162
My god has forsaken me.
426
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,634
Huh, I wonder what's in here?
427
00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:46,561
Snacky Cakes!
428
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,904
- Sally Struthers?
- Who the hell are you?
429
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,532
- Give me that cake!
- No, this is my cake!
430
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,701
No, Sally Struthers,
you give me that cake!
431
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,870
No! You can't have any!
432
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,873
No, Sally Struthers,
that's my cake!
433
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:15,548
You guys, Sally Struthers
is holding food from us!
434
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,317
Stay close, children.
435
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,453
Oh, my God,
they've killed Kenny!
436
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,288
You bastards!
437
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,457
The last three are
getting away, shoot 'em, Ned!
438
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:55,004
- We did it!
- My God, what have we done?
439
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,965
We've saved Thanksgiving.
440
00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,009
But all those poor turkeys,
they're... they're all dead.
441
00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:04,138
Every turkey dies,
not every turkey truly lives.
442
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,932
As horrible as they were,
443
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,767
they... they felt
like a part of me.
444
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:10,311
Perhaps I shouldn't be
toying with God's creations,
445
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,523
perhaps I should just...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
446
00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,400
Excuse me sir,
we're looking for a little
447
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,605
starving Ethiopian boy
who was accidentally delivered
448
00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:19,737
to South Park instead
of a Teiko sports watch.
449
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,906
Have you seen anyone
fitting this description.
450
00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,159
Oh, that could be a hundred
kids in this town, mister.
451
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:30,415
There you are.
Are you ready to go home now?
452
00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:42,593
It sucks he has to leave.
453
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,013
Yeah, I like him
a lot more than Cartman.
454
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,140
You know, I think
I've learned something today.
455
00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:49,726
It's really easy not to think
of images on TV as real people.
456
00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:51,519
But they are.
457
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,372
That's why it's easy
to ignore those commercials,
458
00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:55,481
but, people on TV are
just as real as you or I.
459
00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,358
Yeah.
460
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,652
And that means that
MacGyver is a real person too.
461
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:02,739
We're terribly sorry
about the mix-up, little boy.
462
00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:04,699
We'll get you
back home immediately.
463
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,617
That's right you will,
God damn it.
464
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,911
Move it povs,
I'm an American!
465
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,522
Lord, on this day of thanks,
466
00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:39,192
we would like to extend
our deepest gratitude for this
467
00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:41,819
incredible bounty
of green beans
468
00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:44,072
you have
bestowed upon us.
469
00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,324
And though for some
reason you found it necessary
470
00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:49,452
to take our son from us,
and though you for some reason
471
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:53,873
find pleasure in watching us
suffer, still, we give thanks.
472
00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:57,168
- Amen.
- Amen.
473
00:22:57,293 --> 00:23:00,338
Does anybody
have a can opener?
474
00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:02,673
God Damn-it.
35534
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