Original subtitles

Sean: HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD A DRUG HABIT?

Julia: I DON'T HAVE A DRUG HABIT. I WAS PRESCRIBED THE

PAINKILLERS AFTER THE SURGERY.

Sean: INTERESTING. DID THE DOCTOR WHO GAVE YOU THE IMPLANTS

TELL YOU TO TAKE THE HALF THE BOTTLE AND WASH IT DOWN WITH 4

GLASSES OF PINOT GRIGIO?

Christian: ENOUGH, SEAN. SHE'S HERE TO TALK ABOUT HER FACIAL

RECONSTRUCTION-- Sean: I'M JUST TRYING TO GET ALL

THE INFORMATION. I OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT HIDING ANYTHING THAT CAN LEAD

YOU TO STROKE OUT ON THE TABLE.

Julia: COULD I HAVE A STROKE?

Christian: YOU ARE NOT GONNA HAVE A STROKE. YOU'RE GONNA BE

FINE.

Sean: DID ANNIE FIND YOU?

Julia: ENOUGH WITH THE INTERROGATION. I HAD ENOUGH

QUESTIONS AT THE--[SNIFFS] EMERGENCY ROOM. I'M HERE FOR

A REASON. CAN YOU FIX MY FACE OR NOT?

Sean: YOUR X-RAYS FROM THE E.R.

CAME BACK NEGATIVE FOR A C.M.C.

FRACTURE, BUT WE WOULD HAVE TO EXPLORE FOR ANY DAMAGE TO THE

SALIVARY DUCTS.

Christian: IN OTHER WORDS, YES.

Sean: YOU'RE VERY LUCKY. YOU WERE JUST MILLIMETERS AWAY FROM

CUTTING YOUR CAROTID ARTERY. YOU WOULD'VE DIED LOOKING UP AT THE

POPCORN CEILING IN YOUR LOVELY MARINE GARDENS APARTMENT.

Christian: SEAN, MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEAVE, AND I WILL HANDLE

THIS WITHOUT YOU.

Sean: YOU'RE RIGHT. I CAN'T DO THIS. I OBVIOUSLY DON'T FEEL

COMFORTABLE OPERATING ON YOU. AS LONG AS CHRISTIAN DOESN'T HAVE

A PROBLEM DOING THE SURGERY...

Julia: NO, SEAN. YOU. I WANT YOU TO DO IT.

Christian: JULIA, MAY I REMIND YOU THAT YOUR MOTHER WAS VERY

HAPPY WITH HER FACELIFT.

Julia: NOBODY KNOWS MY FACE BETTER THAN YOU, SEAN. NOBODY.

Sean: AND YOUR BREASTS? YOU DIDN'T COME TO ME FOR THEM. WHY

DON'T YOU MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH DR. COPLEY?

Julia: NO, SEAN, I WANT YOU TO REPAIR ME, BECAUSE YOU'RE THE

REASON I'M HERE.

Sean: OH, HERE IT COMES.

THE WHOLE GODDAMN WORLD IS CONSPIRING AGAINST YOU.

Julia: YOU'RE THE REASON I GOT THE IMPLANTS, AND YOU'RE

THE REASON THAT I WAS SO UPSET THAT I DIDN'T SEE THE SLIDING

GLASS DOOR.

Sean: AND THAT'S THE REASON WE'RE OVER, JULIA. YOU CAN'T

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY OF YOUR FAILURES OR WEAKNESSES. YOU

NEVER COULD, AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SITTING THERE WITH YOUR

FACE TORN TO SHREDS. I'M SORRY, JULIA, BUT I CAN'T POSSIBLY FIX

YOUR FACE AND MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL AGAIN. THE ONLY THING I SEE WHEN

I LOOK AT YOU ANYMORE IS UGLINESS.

[DOOR CLOSES] Christian: I GUESS I'M RUNNER-UP

IN EVERYTHING.

* AHH * MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL

* MAKE ME A PERFECT SOUL,

A PERFECT MIND, A PERFECT FACE,

A PERFECT LIFE * [TAPPING ON GLASS]

A PERFECT LIFE * [TAPPING ON GLASS]

Julia: DO YOU ALWAYS SPY ON PEOPLE LIKE THAT?

Ava: I KNOCKED AT THE FRONT DOOR. YOU DIDN'T ANSWER. I WAS WORRIED YOU'D TAKEN TOO MANY

PILLS AGAIN.

Julia: LOOK, AVA, I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR YOUR WITHERING SHIT RIGHT NOW. OK? I'M JUST--

Ava: TRYING TO COME UP WITH AN EXCUSE NOT TO INVITE ME IN?

DON'T WORRY. I WON'T STAY.

UNLESS YOU ASK ME TO.

Julia: WHY WOULD I EVER DO THAT?

Ava: BECAUSE I MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER YOU, SOMETHING YOU WANT BACK.

Julia: HMM. LIKE, UM, MY SON?

Ava: YOUR SELF. I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIND IT AGAIN. I KNOW YOU'VE FALLEN ON HARD TIMES, SO I'D

LIKE TO OFFER MY SERVICES AS A LIFE COACH FREE OF CHARGE.

Julia: WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY COACHING SOMEONE WHOSE CHILD YOU HAVEN'T MOLESTED.

Ava: IF YOU WANT TO BLAME YOUR INERTIA ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MATT, THAT'S YOUR PREROGATIVE,

BUT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH GOING FACE-FIRST THROUGH A GLASS DOOR

OR HAVING BREAST IMPLANTS OR THE DISSOLUTION OF YOUR MARRIAGE-- Julia: WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?

Ava: MATT'S UPSET AT YOUR PERSONAL DISINTEGRATION. WHEN A PERSON I LOVE IS IN PAIN, SO

AM I, AND I KNOW I'M THE PERSON WHO CAN HELP TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY.

Julia: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, AVA? A VULTURE.

Ava: SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO BE BROUGHT TO OUR KNEES IN ORDER TO GET IN TOUCH WITH WHO WE REALLY

ARE AND WHAT WE REALLY WANT.

WE CAN'T HEAL UNTIL WE HIT ROCK BOTTOM. BY THE LOOK OF THINGS, JULIA, YOU'RE THERE.

Julia: YOU HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER ME, AVA.

Ava: I SIMPLY DON'T AGREE, JULIA. NOT WHEN EVERY MAJOR DECISION IN YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN

PREDICATED ON OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS. DROPPING OUT OF MEDICAL SCHOOL, YOUR CHOICE OF

HUSBAND, MOTHERHOOD-- Julia: I LOVE MY CHILDREN.

Ava: ON THE ONE HAND. AND ON THE OTHER, YOU DEEPLY REGRET EVER HAVING THEM. I KNOW, I KNOW.

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE THOSE FEELINGS. THOSE FEELINGS AREN'T NICE. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT

THEY SAY. NICE GIRLS FINISH LAST. REAL ONES FINISH FIRST.

CALL ME WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GETTING REAL.

Belinda Carlisle: * CAN YOU HEAR THEM?

THEY TALK ABOUT US, TELLING LIES,

WELL, THAT'S NO SURPRISE CAN YOU SEE THEM?

SEE RIGHT THROUGH THEM... * Liz: THIS PUCKER ALMOST MADE ME

PUKE. WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?

Sean: EARLY STAGES OF NECROSIS, UNDOUBTEDLY CAUSED BY

AN UNTREATED INFECTION FROM AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO

AN UNKNOWN COSMETIC ENHANCER.

Christian: HOW MUCH OF OUR BUSINESS DO YOU THINK COMES FROM

CLEANING UP AFTER ANOTHER SURGEON'S INCOMPETENCE?

Sean: 20%. WHICH IS DOWN FROM 30 SINCE BOBOLIT LEFT TOWN. DO WE

KNOW WHO DID THIS HACK JOB?

Christian: LAUREN COPLEY.

Sean: THE DOCTOR WHO'S DOING JULIA'S FACE DID THIS?

Christian: MM-HMM.

Sean: SHE HAS SUCH A STELLAR REPUTATION.

Christian: REPUTATIONS DON'T MEAN SHIT. IF EVERY GIRL I MET

BASED HER DECISION TO SLEEP WITH ME ON MY REP, THEY WOULD BE

SCARED OFF, AND I'D BE DOING THE 5-FINGER KNUCKLE SHUFFLE EVERY

NIGHT, YET WE ALL KNOW THAT IS RARELY THE CASE.

* OUR LIPS ARE SEALED, PAY NO MIND

TO WHAT THEY SAY... * Sean: ANOTHER JOB REPAIRED.

* DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY Liz: I GAVE YOU THE WALK-IN

REPORT. SOME SLIMEBALL IN JACKSONVILLE DID THIS JOB.

Christian: I KNOW.

* OUR LIPS ARE SEALED Annie: AREN'T YOU HUNGRY?

Julia: OH, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO EAT BEFORE THE OPERATION, HONEY.

Annie: WHY? WILL YOU THROW IT UP OR SOMETHING?

Julia: NO. IT'S JUST A PRECAUTION.

Annie: ARE YOU GONNA DIE?

Matt: SHE'LL BE FINE, KIDDO.

Julia: IT DOESN'T HURT AS MUCH AS IT LOOKS.

Annie: YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE MY MOM ANYMORE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR] Julia: COULD YOU PLEASE?

Matt: YEAH.

[DOOR OPENS] Sean: HEY, MATTY.

Matt: HEY.

Sean: HEY, EVERYONE.

Julia: HEY.

Sean: HEY, BABY.

Julia: THANKS FOR TAKING HER TO SCHOOL.

Sean: MATT, MAYBE YOU CAN GO HELP YOUR SISTER PACK HER BOOK

BAG.

Matt: SURE. UH, COME ON, HONEY.

LET'S GO.

[SEAN SIGHS] Sean: I HAVEN'T HANDLED THIS

WELL.

Julia: HEH. YOU'RE ANGRY.

I UNDERSTAND.

Sean: I KEEP TRYING TO FORGIVE YOU. I KEEP TRYING TO BE IN LOVE

WITH YOU AGAIN. I--I JUST CAN'T GET THERE.

Julia: YEAH, YEAH. BUT, UM-- [SNIFFS] I DO MISS US. AND I

Julia: YEAH, YEAH. BUT, UM-- [SNIFFS] I DO MISS US. AND I

MISS OUR FAMILY.

Sean: USUALLY MY PATIENTS DON'T CRY UNTIL AFTER THE SURGERY,

WHEN THEY SEE THE RESULTS.

Julia: WELL, I'M NOT ONE OF YOUR PATIENTS, SEAN.

Sean: YES, YOU ARE. IF YOU WANT.

WE HAVE AN OPENING IN OUR SCHEDULE THIS MORNING.

Julia: I DON'T WANT YOU OPERATING ON ME OUT OF PITY.

Sean: I'M NOT. I'M OPERATING ON YOU BECAUSE I'M THE BEST.

[MONITORS BEEPING] Julia: HOW LONG WILL I BE UNDER?

Sean: FOR AROUND 2 HOURS. LIZ'LL SEND YOU TO TWILIGHT LAND,

AND WHEN WE'RE FINISHED, YOU WON'T REMEMBER A THING.

Christian: WANT US TO SMOOTH OUT THE LINES WHILE WE'RE REPAVING

THE ROAD?

Julia: NO. I FIND MY LINES COMFORTING. WITH THE TWO OF YOU,

I'VE EARNED THEM.

Liz: YOU CERTAINLY HAVE. WHAT'S THAT SAYING? WRINKLES REMIND

THE SOUL WHERE IT'S BEEN AND WHERE IT HASN'T.

Sean: YOU READY?

[JULIA INHALES DEEPLY] Julia: YEAH. ONE LAST THING.

WHEN I'M UNDER, CAN YOU TAKE MY IMPLANTS OUT? THEY'RE JUST NOT

ME.

Liz: JULIA, COUNT BACKWARDS FOR ME. 10...

Julia: 9...8...7...6...5..

4...3...2...

Ava: JULIA. JULIA! WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEAD.

Ava: JULIA. JULIA! WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEAD.

HMM. VERY NICE. LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED, WHICH I GUESS IS

THE POINT.

Julia: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Ava: I'M YOUR COACH. FROM YOUR OTHER LIFE. THE ONE DREAMT OF

BUT NOT CHOSEN.

Julia: THIS ISN'T REAL.

Ava: OH! ALWAYS WITH THE CYNICISM.

Julia: I'M HALLUCINATING FROM THE ANESTHETIC.

Ava: LIFE IS A HALLUCINATION, JULIA.

Julia: WHERE AM I? TELL ME.

Ava: NO NEED TO BE AFRAID.

YOU'RE IN YOUR POSSIBILITY, A PLACE WHERE FRESH STARTS COME

TRUE.

Julia: I KNOW THIS BED.

Ava: I WOULD HOPE SO. IT'S CHRISTIAN'S FROM COLLEGE, WHERE

YOU HAD YOUR ONLY SEXUAL ENCOUNTER WITH THE MAN OF YOUR

DREAMS. YOU GOT OFF THAT BED THAT FATEFUL NIGHT AND SLUNK

HOME TO SEAN, THE SAFE CHOICE.

BUT EVEN THOUGH YOU COMMITTED TO ONE MAN, YOUR HEART'S ALWAYS

BEEN WITH ANOTHER. ISN'T THAT RIGHT? HAVEN'T YOU ALWAYS

WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD'VE BEEN LIKE IF YOU HADN'T LEFT

CHRISTIAN THAT NIGHT? IF YOU'D STAYED WITH HIM? THEN DO IT.

TAKE THAT CHANCE. EXPLORE. GET OFF THAT BED AND INTO YOUR

POSSIBILITY.

WELL, DON'T JUST STAND THERE.

YOU HAVE A PATIENT WAITING.

Julia: TELL ME WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF,

MRS. EPSTEIN.

Suzanne: UM, MY BREASTS. I--I DON'T LIKE MY BREASTS.

Julia: SUZANNE. I KNOW HER.

Ava: NOT IN THIS LIFE.

Julia: I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

Ava: HOW INTERESTING THAT EVEN IN POSSIBILITY YOU LACK

COMMON SENSE.

Julia: APPARENTLY YOU'RE A BITCH IN EVERY UNIVERSE YOU INHABIT.

Ava: I'M A BITCH TO YOU, JULIA, BECAUSE YOU NEED THE COLD, HARD

SLAP OF TRUTH. YOU SHOULD'VE NEVER FIRED ME IN THAT OTHER

LIFE. I COULD'VE MADE THAT SHITHOLE YOU CALLED AN EXISTENCE

GLEAM WITH ACCOMPLISHMENT. I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO TELLS IT TO YOU

STRAIGHT, WITH NO BULLSHIT.

Julia: THEN STOP THE HARANGUE AND COACH ME THROUGH IT. WHY

DON'T I KNOW SUZANNE?

Ava: BECAUSE IN THIS LIFE, YOUR DAUGHTERS NEVER WENT TO THE SAME

SCHOOL, SO YOU NEVER MET.

SUZANNE IS JUST AN ANONYMOUS WALK-IN OFF THE STREET WHO

REPEATED HER DESTINY AND BECAME AN UNFULFILLED SUBURBAN NOTHING

WITH A GAS-GUZZLING S.U.V.

YOU TURNED A DIFFERENT CORNER AND BECAME A DOCTOR.

Julia: THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO BE. HOW MANY SIZES WOULD YOU

LIKE TO GO UP?

Suzanne: WHAT ARE YOU?

Julia: A LOW "C."

Suzanne: GOD, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

Julia: THANKS. OH! MY HUSBAND DID THEM.

Christian: SORRY I'M LATE.

[DOOR CLOSES] JUST FINISHING OFF A SURGERY.

MWAH! HEH HEH!

Suzanne: I WAS JUST ADMIRING YOUR HANDIWORK. VERY NICE,

DOCTOR.

Christian: JUST A LITTLE TRIFLE FOR OUR 15th WEDDING

ANNIVERSARY. HEH HEH HEH!

Suzanne: WHAT DID YOU GET HIM?

Julia: PEC IMPLANTS. WE CAN ADMINISTER THE ALLODERM TO ROUND

OUT THE UPPER LIP AT THE SAME TIME WE DO THE IMPLANTS.

Suzanne: WHO'LL BE DOING ALL OF THIS?

Christian: MY WIFE AND I DO ALL OF OUR SURGERIES TOGETHER. THAT

WAY, YOU'RE IN DOUBLY GOOD HANDS.

[CHRISTIAN AND JULIA CHUCKLE] Julia: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

Suzanne: NO. IT'S--OHH. IT'S JUST SEEING YOU TWO TOGETHER,

SO SWEET AND LOVING WITH EACH OTHER. AVI HASN'T TOUCHED ME FOR

2 YEARS. THAT'S WHY I'M DOING ALL OF THIS.

Julia: WELL, UM, I'M SURE YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND WILL WORK IT

OUT. HEH.

Suzanne: NOT EVERYONE HAS WHAT YOU TWO HAVE.

Julia: I'M SUCCESSFUL, AND HE LOVES ME.

Ava: HE'S PUSSY-WHIPPED. YOU WERE THE HOLY GRAIL, THE THING

HE DESIRED THE MOST. BUT BECAUSE HE LANDED YOU SO EARLY, HE LOST

THAT FEROCIOUS DRIVE AND DARING THAT DEFINED HIM IN HIS OTHER

LIFE AND MADE HIM SO IRRESISTIBLE TO YOU. LIKE

CATNIP.

Julia: YOU'RE FIRED.

Ava: BECAUSE I'M NOT TELLING YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR? TOUGH

SHIT. I'M STAYING. DYING TO SEE HOW IT ENDS.

Julia: I'LL MAKE THIS ONE WORK.

I WANT IT ALL.

Ava: AND YOU HAVE IT ALL, JULIA.

THE HOUSE, THE CAREER, THE LIFE WITHOUT LIMITS THAT MOST WOMEN

CAN ONLY DREAM OF. YOU'RE YOUR OWN HOBBY. CONGRATS. CHECKMATE.

[WOMAN VOCALIZING] Julia: WE'VE BEEN ASKED TO CHAIR

THE PHILHARMONIC OPENER NEXT MONTH.

Christian: I COULD GIVE A SHIT.

Julia: I KNOW. IT'S SO GODDAMN BORING.

Christian: I BOOKED MYKONOS FOR AUGUST.

Julia: GREAT.

Christian: YOU LOOK FANTASTIC IN THAT DRESS, BY THE WAY. IT SUITS

YOU.

Julia: HEH HEH! I NEED MORE COLLAGEN IN MY LIPS.

Christian: I'LL DO IT IN THE MORNING.

Ava: YOU HAVE MONEY AND POWER AND INDEPENDENCE.

Julia: WITH SO MUCH TO GIVE, WHY NO CHILDREN?

Liz: AFTER THE AGE OF 35, THE EGGS A WOMAN PRODUCES ARE OF

A MUCH POORER QUALITY THAN THOSE SHE PRODUCES IN HER TWENTIES.

Julia: I WAS STARTING A BUSINESS IN MY TWENTIES. WE'VE BEEN OVER

THIS. I DIDN'T HAVE TIME. SHIT.

SO NOW I'M ONE OF 'EM.

Liz: ONE OF WHO?

Julia: ONE OF THOSE CLICHE BARREN WOMEN WHO HAVE TO PUMP

THEMSELVES FULL OF HORMONES AND DO THE IN VITRO THING.

Liz: THAT'S ONE OPTION. AS A FERTILIZATION EXPERT, THIS

ISN'T ECONOMICALLY ADVANTAGEOUS OF ME TO SAY, MRS. TROY, BUT YOU

COULD ALWAYS ADOPT.

Julia: NO. THAT WASN'T THE PLAN.

CHRISTIAN, MY HUSBAND, HE WAS PUT UP FOR ADOPTION, AND HE

WANTS TO HAVE A BIOLOGICAL CHILD. THAT'S IMPORTANT TO HIM.

[JULIA GASPS] ARE THOSE YOURS?

Liz: YES. JOAN IS 15.

SAMANTHA'S 19. SHE'S STARTING SMITH IN THE FALL.

Julia: YOU STARTED SO YOUNG.

Liz: I MADE THE TIME.

[CELL PHONE RINGS] Julia: WHAT? GET HER PREPPED.

I'LL BE THERE IN AN HOUR.

15 BLADE.

HOW'S SHE DOING?

Jude: HER HEART'S A LITTLE ROCKY. JUST LIKE YOURS WAS LAST

NIGHT.

Julia: I TOLD YOU, DON'T DISCUSS WHAT WE DO IN THE OFFICE.

Jude: WHY? HE'S NOT HERE. WHO CARES?

Julia: I DO. IT'S NOT PROFESSIONAL.

Jude: OH.

Julia: ANYWAY, WE NEED A COOLING-OFF PERIOD. I'M TRYING

TO GET PREGNANT.

Jude: WELL, TODDLERS ARE THE HOT NEW ACCESSORY. FINE. I NEED TO

FIND SOMEONE MY OWN AGE, ANYWAY.

Julia: NICE. CONCENTRATE ON THE PATIENT.

Jude: I'M GIVING HER EPHEDRINE.

[MONITOR FLATLINES] Jude: SHIT. SHE'S IN DEFIB.

CHARGE TO 200.

Julia: WE CAN'T GIVE HER 200 JOULES. I NEED TO GET THESE

IMPLANTS OUT. GIVE HER AN APP OF EPPY. CLEAR!

[FLATLINE CONTINUES] [PROMISES, PROMISES BY

NAKED EYES PLAYING] * NEVER HAD A DOUBT

IN THE BEGINNING, NEVER A DOUBT,

TRUSTED TOO TRUE, IN THE BEGINNING, I LOVED

YOU RIGHT THROUGH... * [CHRISTIAN AND WOMAN MOANING]

* ARM AND ARM, WE LAUGHED LIKE KIDS

AT ALL THE SILLY THINGS WE DID, YOU MADE ME... *

Christian: YOU'RE LATE. WE STARTED WITHOUT YOU.

Julia: I'M SORRY. I FORGOT.

WHO'S THIS?

Kimber: OH, HI. I'M KIMBER.

Julia: I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING A BRUNETTE TONIGHT.

Kimber: OH, I'LL GOT GET MY WIG.

[KIMBER SIGHS] Christian: BAD DAY?

Julia: THE WORST. I HAVE TO START ALL THE IN VITRO SHIT, AS

WE FEARED.

Christian: GOOD FOR ME.

NO CONDOMS.

Julia: WITH HER, YOU WEAR THE CONDOMS.

Christian: HEH!

* IF YOU CAN'T FINISH WHAT YOU START,

IF THIS IS LOVE, IT BREAKS MY HEART,

YOU MADE ME PROMISES, PROMISES... *

Christian: HA!

Julia: I WISH YOU HADN'T GONE SAILING TODAY. I LOST A PATIENT.

Christian: WHO?

Julia: SUZANNE EPSTEIN.

Christian: PLEASE DON'T GUILT ME OVER THIS.

Julia: 4 HANDS ARE BETTER THAN 2, REMEMBER?

Christian: I'VE SPENT YEARS BUILDING UP A BUSINESS I AM NOW

BORED OF. I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MY LIFE.

Julia: I CAN'T TAKE ON ALL OUR CASELOAD.

Christian: THEN HIRE ANOTHER DOCTOR.

[KIMBER GETS INTO POOL] AH, VERY CHINA DOLL. I LIKE IT.

Julia: I'M GONNA GO TAKE A SHOWER.

Kimber: I WANT HER TO STAY.

Christian: JULIA.

Kimber: I LIKE IT WHEN YOU WATCH.

* ARM AND ARM WE LAUGHED LIKE KIDS... *

[CHRISTIAN AND KIMBER MOANING] * IF YOU CAN'T FINISH

WHAT YOU START, IF THIS IS LOVE,

IT BREAKS MY HEART * [TELEPHONE RINGING]

Erica: OH! OH, DARLING, THERE'S MESSAGES FOR YOU. AND I MOVED

MS. RUSSO'S VAGINAL REJUVENATION FROM 1:00 TOMORROW UNTIL 4:00 SO

YOU COULD GET YOUR HORMONE SHOT.

AND HERE'S YOUR COFFEE.

Julia: UGH! JESUS, MOTHER, YOU KNOW I LIKE IT BLACK. YOU'RE

COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT. GET IT STRAIGHT OR GO BACK TO SELLING

HERBALIFE.

Erica: OH, I'M SO SORRY, DEAR.

I WILL TRY HARDER. ONE LAST THING. THE DOCTOR YOU WANTED TO

INTERVIEW IS IN YOUR OFFICE WITH DR. TROY.

Julia: WHO IS IT?

Ava: OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE, STOP PLAYING THE BLUSHING INGENUE.

YOU KNOW WHO'S IN THERE. YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO CHECK UP AND

SEE HOW HE'S DOING, HOW HE LOOKS.

Sean: JULIA! IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

Sean: MY GOD. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE WE'VE ALL BEEN IN

THE SAME ROOM?

Christian: 10 YEARS.

Julia: NO, IT'S 15, ACTUALLY.

Christian: OH.

Sean: I CAN'T GET OVER IT. YOU LOOK--

Julia: GREAT! I MEAN, YOU LOOK REALLY--

Sean: YOU LOOK GREAT.

Julia: OH!

Christian: I LOOK GREAT, TOO!

HEH HEH HEH!

Julia: SO, SEAN, HOW'S THE PRACTICE? STILL IN

FORT LAUDERDALE?

Sean: NO. I SOLD MY CLIENT LIST AND PACKED UP AROUND 3 YEARS

AGO. YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST PURE CHANCE THAT I GOT YOUR CALL

ABOUT THE JOB OFFER. I LITERALLY GOT HOME LAST NIGHT.

Julia: FROM WHERE?

Sean: NEW GUINEA. I'VE BEEN STATIONED THERE FOR 6 MONTHS.

Christian: AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD FOR THE PEACE CORPS?

[CHRISTIAN AND JULIA CHUCKLE] Sean: HEH. I'M IN

MEDECINS SANS FRONTIERS.

Christian: HUH?

Sean: DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS.

WE TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD HELPING PEOPLE WHO'VE STEPPED ON

LAND MINES AND WOMEN AND CHILDREN--

Christian: OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

I READ ABOUT THAT IN PEOPLE MAGAZINE.

Julia: OH, YEAH!

Christian: YOU FIX CLEFT PALATES FOR FREE. THAT KIND OF SHIT.

Sean: RIGHT.

Christian: YEAH. HOW NOBLE!

HA HA HA!

HOW DO YOU SURVIVE?

Sean: MY WIFE WORKS. SHE'S GOT A GREAT JOB, ACTUALLY.

Christian: GREAT.

Julia: WELL, I'D LOVE TO MEET HER.

Christian: YES. SO WOULD I. HEH.

[SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] Julia: JESUS, I FEEL LIKE I'M IN

A POTTERY BARN SHOWROOM.

Christian: IT'S NICE. IT'S A FAMILY HOME.

Julia: HEH.

Sean: CHRISTIAN, JULIA, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY WIFE.

MEGAN O'HARA McNAMARA, MEET DR. AND DR. TROY.

Megan: JULIA. I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.

Christian: I BET. HEH! YOUR HOUSE IS LOVELY.

Megan: THANK YOU.

Christian: AND SO ARE YOU.

Julia: AHEM. AND WHAT DO YOU DO, MEGAN?

Megan: OTHER THAN BEING A MOM, I'M A PEDIATRICIAN.

Julia: I NEVER GOT TO MEET MEGAN BEFORE SHE DIED OF CANCER. THEY

SEEM-- Ava: PERFECT TOGETHER. AND

DOESN'T SEAN SEEM GLORIOUSLY HAPPY? HAVING A WIFE WHO'S HAPPY

TO BE WITH HIM, WHO ISN'T CONSTANTLY THINKING THE GRASS IS

GREENER. IT CAN MAKE SUCH A DIFFERENCE IN A MAN'S

DISPOSITION.

Julia: THEY HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER?

Matt: OH, IT'S SO GREAT TO FINALLY MEET PEOPLE THAT WENT TO

COLLEGE WITH MY DAD. BET HE WAS A REAL PARTY ANIMAL.

Christian: OH, YEAH. HE WENT NUTS WITH THE WINE COOLERS.

Julia: WELL, ACTUALLY, MATT, YOUR FATHER WAS VERY DEDICATED.

HE WAS VERY INTO ACADEMICS, LIKE IT SOUNDS YOU ARE.

Sean: MATT'S ON THE BRAIN BOWL.

Christian: THE WHAT?

Matt: IT'S THE ACADEMIC DECATHLON TEAM. IT'S FOR NERDS.

Megan: TODAY'S NERD IS TOMORROW'S BILL GATES, HONEY.

MATT GOT AN EARLY ACCEPTANCE TO YALE. FULL SCHOLARSHIP.

Sean: I HOPE YOU'VE GOT ROOM FOR DESSERT.

Christian: WHY DON'T YOU JUST CLIMB UNDER THE TABLE AND GIVE

HIM A BLOW JOB?

Julia: OH! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Christian: IT'S COLLEGE ALL OVER AGAIN. THE LONGING LOOKS, THE

DISGUSTING, OBVIOUS FAWNING.

ADMIT IT, JULIA. YOU NEVER GOT OVER HIM.

Julia: I AM BEING NICE TO CLOSE THE DEAL. YOU SHOULD TRY IT.

Matt: HERE WE GO.

Julia: HA!

Christian: MMM.

Matt: OH, UM, DR. CHRISTIAN, UH, DO YOU WANT TO--DO YOU WANT TO

SEE MY BUG COLLECTION?

Christian: SURE. [EXHALES] Matt: BYE, GUYS.

Julia: SO, SEAN, HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT OUR OFFER?

Sean: I HAVE. MEGAN AND I HAVE TALKED IT OVER LONG AND HARD.

Julia: WELL, THE MONEY'S GOOD.

Megan: WELL, I MAKE GOOD MONEY, SO SEAN DOESN'T HAVE TO WORK IF

HE DOESN'T WANT TO, AND DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS IS

AN ORGANIZATION WE'RE BOTH SO COMMITTED TO, SO ANY SACRIFICES

WE HAVE TO MAKE AS A FAMILY ARE WORTH IT. BUT ACTUALLY, UM, I'M

GONNA HAVE TO TAKE A COUPLE OF MONTHS OFF. 9 MONTHS EXACTLY.

Julia: YOU'RE PREGNANT.

Megan: I'M 3 MONTHS ALONG. IT'S A GIRL.

Sean: WE'RE GONNA CALL HER ANNIE, AFTER MY GRANDMOTHER.

Julia: CONGRATULATIONS. REALLY.

SO--HEH! WITH A BABY ON THE WAY--

Sean: I REALLY HATED THE DIRECTION THE COSMETIC SURGERY

INDUSTRY IS GOING, AND I'M NOT CONVINCED I WANT TO DIVE BACK

INTO THOSE MURKY WATERS.

Julia: WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, SEAN. WHY DON'T YOU, UM, COME IN

AND HELP FOR A WEEK AND, UH, SEE HOW IT STRIKES YOU?

Sean: MRS. GRUBMAN, TELL ME WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.

Mrs. Grubman: MY FACE. IT HAS TOO MUCH CHARACTER.

Sean: BUT YOU HAD A RHYTIDECTOMY 3 YEARS AGO.

Mrs. Grubman: I GUESS IT DIDN'T TAKE.

Sean: DIDN'T TAKE.

Julia: I THINK WHAT DR. McNAMARA IS SAYING, MRS. GRUBMAN, IS THAT

A FACE-LIFT IS A VERY INVASIVE OPERATION, AND WE JUST WANT TO

MAKE SURE YOU'VE THOUGHT IT THROUGH.

Mrs. Grubman: HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM?

Sean: WELL, IT SAYS HERE THAT YOU'RE 58.

Mrs. Grubman: YOU WERE PROBABLY VERY SURPRISED WHEN YOU READ

THAT.

Sean: ACTUALLY, AFTER SEEING THE NUMBER OF PROCEDURES--

Mrs. Grubman: WELL, WHEN YOU'VE BEEN AROUND AS LONG AS I HAVE,

YOU GAIN SOME WISDOM. ONE OF THE THINGS I'VE LEARNED IS THAT YOU

CAN STAY YOUNG, DR. McNAMARA.

YOU CAN FEEL THE WAY YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20 YEARS OLD.

THOSE FEELINGS DON'T HAVE TO GO AWAY. NOW, FOR SOME PEOPLE,

GETTING THAT FEELING COMES FROM RUNNING A MARATHON OR CLIMBING

A MOUNTAIN. FOR OTHERS, IT COMES FROM BEING AROUND CHILDREN.

Sean: BUT THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT THINGS YOU CAN DO TO

MAKE-- Mrs. Grubman: AS FOR ME, I KNOW

MYSELF, DR. McNAMARA, AND I KNOW WHAT I LIKE: PLASTIC SURGERY.

NOW, I WON'T DENY THAT MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT TRYING TO LOOK

YOUNGER IS A SUPERFICIAL WAY OF CHANGING YOUR LIFE, BUT IT

REINVIGORATES ME. AND IF DOING SOMETHING MAKES ME HAPPY AND

FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF, WHO ARE YOU TO STOP ME?

Julia: HMM.

HEH HEH HEH! WE'D BE HAPPY TO SCHEDULE YOU FOR

SURGERY TOMORROW MORNING, MRS. GRUBMAN.

[MONITORS BEEPING] ARE YOU READY?

Sean: AS I'LL EVER BE.

Julia: 15 BLADE.

Carly Simon: * ALL THOSE CRAZY NIGHTS WHEN I CRIED

MYSELF TO SLEEP... * Sean: THIS WAS OUR SONG

IN COLLEGE.

Julia: YOU REMEMBERED.

* NEVER MAKES ME WEEP ANYMORE, 'CAUSE I HAVEN'T GOT TIME

FOR THE PAIN, I HAVEN'T GOT ROOM FOR THE PAIN,

I HAVEN'T THE NEED FOR THE PAIN, NOT SINCE I'VE KNOWN YOU,

YOU SHOWED ME HOW, HOW TO LEAVE MYSELF BEHIND,

HOW TO TURN DOWN THE NOISE IN MY MIND,

NOW I HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR THE PAIN,

I HAVEN'T GOT ROOM FOR THE PAIN, I HAVEN'T THE NEED FOR THE PAIN

NOT SINCE I'VE KNOWN YOU, I HAVEN'T GOT ROOM FOR THE PAIN,

I HAVEN'T THE NEED FOR THE PAIN *

Julia: GOOD HANDS IN THERE, DR. McNAMARA.

Sean: YOU, TOO.

Julia: IS THAT THE BEST PICK-UP LINE YOU CAN MUSTER?

Sean: IT'S NOT A PICK-UP LINE.

IT'S THE TRUTH. IT WAS NICE FINALLY GETTING TO WORK TOGETHER

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

WELL, UH, GOOD WORK, AND GOOD NIGHT. UM, I NEED TO GO NOW.

Julia: WHY? MEAT LOAF'S AN EASY REHEAT.

Sean: JULIA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Julia: BLOCKING YOUR WAY.

Sean: WHY?

Julia: SO WE CAN FINISH WHAT WE STARTED IN THERE. WHAT WE

STARTED YEARS AGO.

OH!

[SEAN AND JULIA MOANING] Sean: NO--

Julia: HEH! I WANT YOU.

Sean: I CAN'T.

Julia: OH! OW! WHAT'S WRONG?

Sean: WHAT'S WRONG? I'M MARRIED!

I'M ABOUT TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY.

Julia: YOU WANT ME AS MUCH AS I WANT YOU. YOU KNOW YOU DO--

Sean: STOP IT. YOU'RE MARRIED, TOO.

Julia: I CHOSE THE WRONG GUY.

I KNOW THAT NOW. WE CAN GO OFF TOGETHER. WE CAN GO AWAY AND SEE

IF WHAT WE ONCE HAD STILL EXISTS.

Sean: I SAID STOP IT. I DON'T LOVE YOU, JULIA. I LOVE MY WIFE.

Sean: I SAID STOP IT. I DON'T LOVE YOU, JULIA. I LOVE MY WIFE.

Julia: I WAS WRONG TO DO THIS.

I'M SORRY.

Sean: SO AM I. I'M SORRY FOR YOU. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS PERSON YOU'VE TURNED INTO. YOU'RE

NIHILISTIC. YOU PREY ON PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGED WOMEN

AND TURN THEM INTO MONSTERS-- Julia: JUST LEAVE, SEAN.

Sean: YOU'RE SOULLESS, JULIA.

Julia: HA! WELL, THIS SOULLESS BITCH EARNS 2 MILLION A YEAR,

AND IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE SUPPORTING YOUR PRECIOUS FAMILY

WITH YOUR POLITICALLY CORRECT BULLSHIT, CALL ME FOR A LOAN.

Carly Simon: * SON OF A GUN Julia: ON SECOND THOUGHT, I'D

RATHER WATCH YOU STARVE.

Sean: GOOD-BYE, JULIA.

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] [JULIA EXHALES]

* YOU WALKED INTO THE PARTY LIKE YOU WERE WALKING

ONTO A YACHT, YOUR HAT STRATEGICALLY

DIPPED BELOW ONE EYE, YOU SCARF, IT WAS APRICOT,

YOU HAD ONE EYE IN THE MIRROR AS... *

Christian: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Julia: I FOUND THIS OLD ALBUM.

WE USED TO PLAY IT IN COLLEGE, REMEMBER?

Christian: I REMEMBER.

* YOU'RE SO VAIN, YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS SONG

IS ABOUT YOU * Julia: DANCE WITH ME.

* I'LL BET YOU THINK THIS SONG IS ABOUT YOU,

DON'T YOU? DON'T YOU?

OH, YOU HAD ME SEVERAL YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS STILL

QUITE NAIVE... * Julia: MAKE LOVE TO ME.

Christian: ARE YOU OVULATING?

Julia: MY FINAL TEST CAME BACK TODAY.

I CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN. WE CAN ADOPT.

* YOU'RE SO VAIN... Christian: KIMBER'S PREGNANT.

IT'S MINE.

Julia: GET RID OF IT.

THEN GET RID OF HER.

Christian: HEH. SHE WANTS TO HAVE THIS BABY. SO DO I.

Julia: GET OUT! AAH AAH! OW!

Christian: YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY, JULIA. NOW YOU'RE FREE TO PURSUE

SEAN.

Julia: OH!

* I HAD SOME DREAMS, THEY WERE CLOUDS IN MY COFFEE,

CLOUDS IN MY COFFEE, AND YOU'RE SO VAIN,

YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS SONG IS ABOUT YOU,

YOU'RE SO VAIN, I'LL BET YOU THINK THIS SONG IS

ABOUT YOU, DON'T YOU? DON'T YOU?

WELL, I HEAR YOU WENT UP TO SARATOGA

AND YOUR HORSE NATURALLY WON * Julia: IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN, BUT

IT SHOULDN'T BE. I'M LIVING ANOTHER LIFE.

Ava: SWEETHEART, IT'S YOU WHO HAS TO CHANGE, NOT YOUR

CIRCUMSTANCES. YOU CARRY YOUR FATE WITH YOU. YOU DIDN'T DO THE

WORK ON YOURSELF IN THIS LIFE OR THE ONE BEFORE IT. YOU DIDN'T

FACE YOUR DEMONS AND FEARS AND CONQUER THEM BRAVELY WITH

CONVICTION. A PATIO DOOR, A GLASS SHOWER STALL IN YOUR

FANCY MARBLE BATHROOM...YOU WERE GONNA GO THROUGH A PLATE-GLASS

WINDOW ANYWAY.

[JULIA SNORTS] [GLASS SHATTERS]

[MONITORS BEEPING] Sean: WHO FOUND HER?

Christian: THE MAID.

I APPRECIATE YOU HELPING OUT WITH THIS, SEAN. I DON'T KNOW IF

I CAN GET THROUGH THIS ALONE.

Sean: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, CHRISTIAN. SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN

UNHAPPY. SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN LOST.

DESPITE HER WONDERFUL QUALITIES, JULIA WAS NEVER SATISFIED, AND

I DON'T THINK SHE EVER WILL BE.

[CHRISTIAN EXHALES] Christian: 15 BLADE.

[MONITOR STOPS BEEPING] Julia: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Ava: KILLING YOU SOFTLY.

Julia: THAT'S NOT YOUR DECISION.

Ava: ACTUALLY, IT IS. YOU SEE, I'VE LIED TO YOU. I'M NOT YOUR

LIFE COACH.

I'M THE ANGEL OF DEATH.

Choir: * NOW YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT... *

Julia: NOT TRUE.

Ava: IT IS. AREN'T YOU JUST A LITTLE RELIEVED? THE END IS IN

SIGHT NOW. NO MORE SQUANDERED POTENTIAL OR RUINED

POSSIBILITIES.

* BUT IF YOU TRY SOMETIMES, YOU FIND YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED *

ONE KISS, AND ALL THE PAIN YOU'VE BEEN CARRYING AROUND FOR

YEARS GOES AWAY.

[JULIA SOBBING] HAVEN'T YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO

KISS ME, JULIA?

Julia: NO.

Ava: LIAR. FOR ONCE, ADMIT THE TRUTH AND EMBRACE YOUR

POSSIBILITY FEARLESSLY. HAVEN'T YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE WHAT IT

WOULD BE LIKE TO KISS ANOTHER WOMAN? TO KISS ME? YOU CAN'T

DENY IT. WE HAVE CHEMISTRY.

Julia: I'M AFRAID.

Ava: BUT YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID, HAVEN'T YOU? END

THE FEAR. END IT NOW.

Mick Jagger: * YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT,

BUT IF YOU TRY SOMETIMES * [MONITOR FLATLINES]

* YOU MIGHT FIND YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED,

OH, YEAH, WHOO * * AAH, WHOO

* YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED, OH, YEAH,

I'M TELLING THE TRUTH, BABE * Julia: NO. NO.

I'M TELLING THE TRUTH, BABE * Julia: NO. NO.

I'M NOT READY. I'M NOT READY.

I'M NOT READY!

[MONITOR BEEPING] Christian: WHAT THE HELL WAS

THAT?

Sean: ARE WE OK?

Liz: IT MUST'VE BEEN A SHORT.

SHE'S FINE.

Sean: LET'S CLOSE HER UP.

JULIA?

Julia: MHH.

Sean: JULIA.

Julia: UHH.

Sean: WE'RE ALL DONE NOW. YOU DID GREAT.

Julia: AM I DEAD?

Sean: NO. YOU'RE IN RECOVERY.

Julia: I'M GONNA BE SICK.

[JULIA COUGHS AND THROWS UP] Sean: IT'S OK. THIS IS NORMAL.

YOU'RE JUST HAVING A BAD REACTION TO THE ANESTHESIA.

HERE. LET'S JUST WET YOUR LIPS.

YOU'RE GONNA BE OK.

Julia: SEAN, IT'S YOU. HEH.

ALL ALONG, IT'S BEEN YOU.

[CAPTIONING BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]