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1
00:01:09,930 --> 00:01:16,850
Dear Red Shoes, sometimes you gamble and
lose, and sometimes your worst nightmare
2
00:01:16,850 --> 00:01:18,310
can end up being your salvation.
3
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:21,530
At least that's the way it turned out
for me.
4
00:01:24,230 --> 00:01:26,230
Have you ever wanted to let go?
5
00:01:26,930 --> 00:01:29,150
I mean, really let go.
6
00:01:30,770 --> 00:01:32,690
And just escape what you had become?
7
00:01:34,090 --> 00:01:35,090
I did.
8
00:01:36,250 --> 00:01:40,010
I was trapped in a world that I had
helped. create and I no longer
9
00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:41,010
understood.
10
00:01:42,930 --> 00:01:43,990
I was a prisoner.
11
00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:49,310
It's funny though, are we ever really
free?
12
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:53,270
We're just simply pawns in the game of
control.
13
00:01:54,710 --> 00:01:59,490
Well, I was desperate for the answer,
but I didn't know how far I'd have to
14
00:01:59,490 --> 00:02:00,490
go.
15
00:02:01,290 --> 00:02:03,350
I wanted to push beyond the beyond.
16
00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:12,800
I was at the edge of an abyss and I
decided to take the plunge.
17
00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:11,860
Looks like you're okay.
18
00:03:13,340 --> 00:03:15,160
I found you this morning in a surf.
19
00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:17,780
Do you speak English?
20
00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:23,980
I don't have a boat or a radio.
21
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:26,600
Nothing.
22
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,700
I'm afraid you're stuck here with me.
23
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,340
Until someone happens by.
24
00:04:14,090 --> 00:04:15,090
Looks like you're okay.
25
00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:18,290
Do you remember what happened?
26
00:04:20,890 --> 00:04:26,630
Well, I was on a yacht, and I flipped
over the side.
27
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:33,810
And from there, I just laid on my back
and drifted away.
28
00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:09,380
Has anybody ever taken complete control
of you?
29
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:28,940
If he asked me to, I would crawl across
a
30
00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:30,100
dirt floor for him.
31
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:35,940
Yeah, I was out of control.
32
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,480
Have you ever been taken over like that?
33
00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:02,420
Just let me be in control.
34
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,760
So what do we do if no one ever comes to
take them away?
35
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:13,500
Sooner or later, someone will come.
36
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:15,300
Someone always comes.
37
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,320
And you're never tempted to go with
them?
38
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:20,400
No, never.
39
00:08:21,340 --> 00:08:24,600
When I found this place, I chopped up
some of the boat that brought me here.
40
00:08:25,140 --> 00:08:26,520
I used it for firewood.
41
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,320
It takes a hell of a lot of balls.
42
00:08:30,380 --> 00:08:34,380
It takes a lot of balls to lay back in
the ocean at night and rip the wave of
43
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,380
the current.
44
00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:39,830
What happens if you get sick?
45
00:08:40,909 --> 00:08:45,270
I was sick when I came here. I'd become
someone I hated.
46
00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:51,550
Maybe I conjured you up.
47
00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:54,370
Maybe we're both dead.
48
00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:56,730
Who the hell knows?
49
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:28,680
And you ran away.
50
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:56,710
You know, when I was a kid, I used to
Divide men up into two different
51
00:10:56,710 --> 00:10:57,710
categories.
52
00:10:58,730 --> 00:11:01,030
There were the men I scared to death.
53
00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:06,430
And then there were the men who treated
me like shit.
54
00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:12,990
It's all about control.
55
00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:19,330
It sometimes just gets so goddamn tired
of being with someone.
56
00:11:19,810 --> 00:11:23,770
I mean, it is nice having someone tell
you what to do.
57
00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:30,030
See, the game takes a while to play out.
The whole thing, it doesn't happen all
58
00:11:30,030 --> 00:11:34,790
at once. You, um... Let's start with a
little challenge.
59
00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:41,510
Like, he'll be making love on his back.
60
00:11:43,350 --> 00:11:47,930
See that guy up there on the 11th floor?
He's looking at you and he wants you.
61
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:49,750
Hey.
62
00:11:50,070 --> 00:11:51,570
And you look up and you don't see him.
63
00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:01,200
A month goes by, another full-on
penthouse, and then one night, you
64
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,980
invite a friend over from dinner, some
guy from out of town.
65
00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,520
That's a pretty good look.
66
00:12:07,820 --> 00:12:08,940
And then you get it.
67
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,640
All things about control.
68
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,280
When you're tough, guys, and you're
dealing with the control.
69
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,360
So what's your game, tough guy?
70
00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:26,640
Guys don't chop up boats for firewood.
71
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:29,380
I'm a tough guy.
72
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,700
I want you to give me a kiss.
73
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,960
There's something more about the man you
left.
74
00:12:54,700 --> 00:13:00,960
In the beginning, when we made love, he
used to slap my ass real hard.
75
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,140
He called it his inslap.
76
00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:06,440
He said it was supposed to stop time.
77
00:13:07,380 --> 00:13:08,920
Supposed to get me out of my head.
78
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:13,860
To concentrate all my feelings into one
point.
79
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:19,320
He'd whisper, you belong to me.
80
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,780
He could just say it and sometimes it
would come.
81
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,020
You belong to me.
82
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,880
You belong to me.
83
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:47,600
Say it again.
84
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,080
Sorry, I can't.
85
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,260
Can't or won't!
86
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,870
The boat comes, and you're ready to
leave.
87
00:15:53,890 --> 00:15:55,610
Signal them by lighting a fire.
88
00:15:56,230 --> 00:15:57,570
Do you want me to leave?
89
00:15:58,950 --> 00:15:59,950
No.
90
00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:03,750
But I know sooner or later you'll want
to.
91
00:16:06,350 --> 00:16:09,390
You killed someone, didn't you?
92
00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:12,050
Do I look like a murderer to you?
93
00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:13,630
I didn't call you a murderer.
94
00:16:14,070 --> 00:16:15,650
I said you killed someone.
95
00:16:21,070 --> 00:16:22,230
Maybe a car accident?
96
00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:25,790
She died in a car accident.
97
00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:29,110
Binge.
98
00:16:33,050 --> 00:16:34,050
Yes.
99
00:16:41,430 --> 00:16:42,910
Did you blame yourself?
100
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,080
I can feel it.
101
00:16:57,820 --> 00:16:59,160
I didn't come here to hide.
102
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,560
I came here to heal.
103
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,180
Tell me about her.
104
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:12,960
Too painful.
105
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,000
The pain won't go away if you keep it
inside.
106
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,680
For the name of an actor in a fucking
movie.
107
00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:39,600
She was right.
108
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:46,700
Gotta make it up.
109
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:53,160
Going too fast.
110
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,520
Rain.
111
00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:11,030
You never saw anything seem so important
until
112
00:18:11,030 --> 00:18:12,450
you lose someone you really love.
113
00:18:23,390 --> 00:18:25,070
She was a very lucky woman.
114
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:26,860
He's come for me.
115
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,340
Can we ever truly live with abandon?
116
00:20:52,540 --> 00:20:53,820
I pushed myself.
117
00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:57,120
And I found a place in me that I had
never known.
118
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,000
Abandonment.
119
00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:06,980
Abandonment.
120
00:21:22,510 --> 00:21:24,810
For the first time in my life, I feel
like I have it all.
121
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,450
Get my drift?
122
00:21:27,410 --> 00:21:30,630
Seriously, Red Shoes, sometimes that's
the only way out.
8327
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