Original subtitles

Okay, I think we're all here. Yes, I see Maarten too.

Yep. Hello. -But I can't hear him.

Hello? Hello, hello. Yo, yo.

Maarten, I can see you but the sound is off, I think.

Oh, man. This piece of crap.

Always the same bullshit.

Maarten, can you hear us? -He has to click on the microphone.

He gets it, he's the IT guy.

Can you hear me, or not? -Yes. Ah, there you are at last.

Good. I can hear you now. So, we can finally make a start.

Good afternoon everybody. You too, Maarten.

First off, let me tell you...

So next week we'll start working with the new IT system.

Maarten, do you have an update for us?

My main advice would be

to stop switching to a new system every three months.

Yes, loud and clear. Thank you.

But once this is up and running, things will get a lot easier for everyone.

Right, but I spend all my time explaining how the new system works.

And once everyone gets it, there's a new system and it all starts again.

This will be the last time for now. -Whatever. Fine.

I'm very happy with the guy they sent, anyhow. That works really well.

Only the mail programme doesn't work yet.

Okay. As long as it works next week.

Maarten.

Yes.

But it will work next week, Jack.

Boys, dammit. Get the hell out of here.

Downstairs. Go.

Go, go, downstairs. Don't come in here, the door was closed.

Nice outfit, Maarten.

Yeah, yeah. We need a new system around here too.

Where were we?

Can we send payment reminders next week?

Yes, no worries.

But you know, they're computers. -So?

So it'll be a mess, no doubt.

Mum, I asked you to keep them busy for just ten minutes.

How hard is that? Boys, a closed door is a closed door.

You can't come in, Dad is working.

And definitely never give us the finger.

Your dad played with them all the time. -Yeah, yeah.

We're off now. -I know, you've got swim class.

Aquajogging. -Sure, sure.

I'm just really annoyed here. -Where is your father, anyway?

Boys? Where did you put Grandad?

Dad, where are you? -We played hide and seek.

Dad. You can come out.

Forty forty, gramps in the closet. -Gordon Bennett.

Oh, Grandad says Gordon Bennett.

Language, darling. -What's wrong with Gordon Bennett?

They know exactly what you mean. -Did I tell you I hurt my knees?

Only a hundred times.

Those tendons rub together and it hurts like the blazes.

Then I have to wait until they click into place.

Honey? -Yes.

You had something to tell them. -Oh, yes.

Just a second. Oh, man.

Maybe you need more exercise.

I cycled to the off-license today. -Like that?

Looking like that?

Gordon Bennett. I bought wine with a face full of muck.

I told you, don't let them cover you in that stuff.

Got a tissue, Maart?

This type of babysitting doesn't work for me.

I might as well stick them in daycare.

When would we see them? -Birthdays, Christmas.

Hark at him.

I'm working, Mum. I'll lose my job.

We're switching to a new system. It costs hundreds of thousands.

Really? Wow. I never realised. -Well, I do.

Hey, you're still here. -On the way out.

Yes, leaving now, Mum has a swim class.

Aquajogging. -Oh, thank you.

Bye. -Bye, darlings.

Your father. Is that okay?

We'll be off then. Boys, we're going. Bye, sweethearts.

What's in those bags? -Champagne.

And in the other one?

Champagne.

Two boxes?

Special offer. It's champagne from that house

with the train underneath. You know. -No idea.

Yes, you know. -20 kms, champagne everywhere.

Fabulous. -Yes, fabulous. We're going now.

Bye bye, sweethearts. -Bye, boys.

I wanted to tell you, I have cancer.

What? -Yes. It sucks.

How long have you known?

Since yesterday when they checked my apnoea.

Where is it? How long have you known? What...

It's cancer. But the good news is:

No apnoea.

Can it be treated? -Take it easy.

Come over for a coffee tomorrow. I have to get to swim class now.

Aquajogging.

Sophie. Wait up.

Jeez, your poor dad.

What do you think? -That googling 'cancer' is a bad idea.

What did your dad say about it? -He said: I have cancer.

Then he cycled off with two boxes of champagne.

If he's so casual about it, maybe it's not too bad.

I'm going round there tomorrow. He'll tell me more then.

He did look bad. -His face was covered in muck.

Will he be up for weekly sitting?

We should check for openings at the after-school centre.

Really awful news, Maarten.

I don't know what to do.

Come on, let's go to bed. Go see him in the morning.

I'll be right there.

What are you doing? -Enjoying the wine.

I just told you my dad has cancer. -Wine's still great though.

True.

Wild strawberries. Slight hint of wood.

Low on tannins. -High on bullshit.

Did your dad feel he was sick?

He never said anything about it.

Until today, suddenly.

We don't often talk one on one. It's usually at birthday parties.

With my mother shouting in my other ear.

You should take him on a trip real soon.

While you still can.

I took my father to Edinburgh some time ago.

That was nice, wasn't it? -Nice? It was awesome. Fantastic.

Exactly like old times.

Aw, Willem. -Boys, quit that crap, come on.

Eat. You'll be late, not me.

I can't get at it. -Dweeb.

What did I just say? Stop it.

Where are you going? -To act in a porn movie.

What is a porn movie? -Two people who...

Nothing. I'm on the weekend shift.

Why don't I know that, babe? -You don't check the diary, babe.

There's nothing in my diary. I'm pretty busy, you know.

Check the family diary. You're too busy, you're forgetting things.

Be good for Daddy today.

Put it in my diary too next time.

Good luck with your dad today.

Who is your dad? -Grandad.

What's wrong with him?

Nothing.

Nothing.

You know him, right?

Hans.

You know him, right?

You must have seen him around.

No, I don't think so. -Well, he was sick too.

And he's already gone.

He didn't make it. He's gone.

Dead.

Yes, I thought as much.

And that's weird, you know. Well, he had been sick for ages.

But it suddenly went fast and his whole world fell apart.

Those last months. Suddenly he was a patient.

But fortunately he did a few fun things.

Fortunately.

What was wrong with him? -Cancer too, like him.

But in his balls. -No.

No Anne, precisely not in his balls. Everywhere except in his balls.

But he still did some fun things, is my point.

Yes, he went cycling on...

On his bicycle.

On the Veluwe.

Then it can't have been in his balls.

But anyway, that's all over now.

I mean, at our age you...

...so he went cycling, with Coby.

Hey, look who's here. Blow me down.

Martinus Leonardus, our career tiger. How's life?

Hello, my boy. What a palaver with your dad, eh?

Good to see you, son. Let's go in the garden, I've got something to show you.

Gordon Bennett.

Also dead.

Gordon Bennett.

I thought you quit. -I did.

Leave it for now, son. Don't hassle me, okay?

That guy is such a windbag.

He's been here for 90 minutes.

And he's not about to leave.

How are the boys?

Fine.

Soccer, then a children's party.

Great. -Yeah.

And they were bitten in the neck at the safari park.

By a monkey.

So one of them snuffed it. He didn't make it.

He's gone.

Dead.

And the other one circled the drain for goodness knows how long.

Hey, so, folks, time to leave.

Right, we'll head off. Shopping and things.

Do laundry. -I thought we might stay for lunch.

Get out of here. You scoffed our whole cake.

Let's just have a sandwich at home.

Sure, at home, sounds good.

I'm busy tonight. Neighbourhood watch.

So, tiger.

Theo. -Bye, Hans.

Safe home.

What's with the crazy attitude? They came all this way to wish you well.

They enjoy that. -No, they don't. This is my sister.

Exactly. Hey, honey.

Did you buy these herrings? -Yes.

And what do we drink with that?

May I make a suggestion?

It, er...

It doesn't look good.

They saw all sorts of things that were not good.

In two weeks

they'll do a scan, and then

and then they'll come up with a plan, but

your mother and I are not optimistic about that.

I've been telling him for months to go to the doctor.

Yes, but the man is terribly busy, you know, and

I had no health problems at all.

Oh come on, Hans. You can't even get up.

Your heart is weak, your blood pressure is too high, you have arthritis.

You freeze at the slightest draft and your groin hurts.

Don't tell me the doctor is too busy.

That's just wear and tear, with the ligaments chafing.

Ligaments. Yeah, right.

What will you be doing those two weeks until your scan?

Wait.

How about you and me going on a trip together? Get away?

You and me, going somewhere.

Yes, maybe

to those

champagne cellars. With the train. Right? Ever been on it?

No, I haven't. -So let's do that.

No, that's... You and me on that train together?

Yes. Wouldn't that be fun?

Yes. A lot of fun.

Are you crying? -No. I'm laughing my head off.

Mum, what do you think?

Well, he does need to rest.

My car is more comfortable than your sofa.

We'll go to good hotels. No Uncle Theo to bore you to tears.

So we'll be on that train, no matter what.

Jeez, Maarten. The timing is terrible, so...

I'll tell my father not to get cancer at such an awkward time.

Yes.

No. I don't mean it like that. Sorry, slip of the tongue.

I wish you all the best, of course. Hey, man.

Respect, for making time for this. Of course.

But we do switch to a new system next week.

Can you ask your father to go a week later?

No. No, I'm going now.

But now is not a good time. -There's never a good time. I'm going.

I know that, but I emailed you about it.

I'll send it again.

I'll email it again and can I call you back about this later?

Yes, fine. Thanks. Bye.

Alright, darling. Do take care of yourself.

Make sure to eat well.

And don't drink too much. -No, course not.

And take the pills. The doctor gave you extra.

I promise. Bye, honey.

He's not emigrating. -No.

She's always a bit over-emotional.

Bye, love.

Have a great time.

Bye bye. -Bye, sweetheart.

Calculating the route.

Wave, Dad. -Right.

Try to turn around.

Wave again, Dad.

That pal of yours, he took his dad on a trip, right?

Felix? -Yes, Felix, yes.

Nice guy. -Yeah.

What did they talk about in the car?

No idea.

Call Felix. -Calling Felix.

Hey, Maarten. -Hey, Felix, hey.

Hey, man. -I'm driving with my dad, to Champagne.

Right. That's fun. Hi, Hans. -Hey Feel, how are you?

I should ask you. Maarten told me you're ill. Nasty, man.

Thanks for asking. I always liked you.

I always liked you too. Shame you're married.

See what I mean? This is fun. -Fun, yes.

So, Felix. -Yes?

We were wondering, you took your dad to Edinburgh, didn't you?

Yes. -Wow.

How did that go exactly?

We had loads of plans but we didn't get around to them.

We could have talked for ten weekends.

So we went to the pub once we got there and we never came out.

We just talked and talked. -Great.

Seriously, I got to know the man on a whole new level.

Extraordinary, and so valuable.

Super. Super.

How fantastic is that, that you're doing it too?

Exactly.

Going down memory lane together, enjoying each other's company.

Yep. I'll see. Ciao. -Wonderful. Have fun.

Kind of a dick, that Felix. -Right? Such a poser.

What's this then? -Sophie made them.

Jeez. I haven't brought sandwiches from home in 25 years.

Want one? -Spare me. Yuck.

It's just smoked meat. -I can smell that.

Give it.

For the birds.

I'm hungry. -Let's raise the bar a little bit, Dad.

It's got to be here. -How do you know?

It says so right there.

It's got a 4.6 rating. -That's a fail.

Out of 5. -Oh, so that's very good.

Yes, it is.

Great place. -This'll be really something.

Gentlemen. Would you like to order?

The surprise menu, does it contain fish? -That's a surprise.

It says you are careful with gluten and allergies.

I'd like a steak please, with... -Wait, wait.

Are you allergic to fish? -No, I quite fancy a bit of fish.

I'll have the fish stew, please. -Of course.

Onion soup. -Of course.

And the vegetable garnish. -Of course.

Some water on the table? -No, beside it.

Still or sparkling?

Still. Please.

Of course. -Thank you.

One steak with onion soup. One fish stew.

Nice chick. -Shame I'm already married.

Nice place.

Here you go. Another bottle?

Yes, please. -Of course.

It's like eating in a damn Chinese restaurant.

Better too much than too little. -That's true.

But...

This can't be right. -It tastes great.

But it's never a 4.6. -These people do their best.

What are you doing? -Writing a review.

It's not a 4.6. This is no good. I don't know who wrote that.

Let it go, man. That cauliflower was good.

You liked the cauliflower? With the white sauce?

Have you ever had that before in a restaurant? 'Cause I haven't.

I'm so done with this.

What the hey?

You're driving. Unless you want me to?

Right.

Shall I drive for a bit? -Better not.

Go on. Go on.

Alright, you can stop.

Had a big lunch, did you?

You're way over the limit.

I can't imagine. It was hardly anything.

Well...

So, I'll write you up. Please step out of the car.

Ma'am, may I...

May I do the test?

Go on.

Go on. Go on.

Dad, what are you trying to prove? -Go on.

Nice car, this.

That device was faulty.

Dad, could you go any slower? -I can if I have to.

You should have stayed on the highway. -That screen is hard to read.

Here, make a U-turn there.

Look at the screen. -I prefer the old way.

Watch out. Cyclist.

Asshole.

You old retard.

Eat shit, monkey.

What? Son of a bitch.

Nice going, Dad.

Hello. -Sorry, what?

Sac dans la merde.

What?

You know. Eat shit, monkey.

Monkey? Seriously? Monkey?

Yes, that's it. Monkey. Did you know that?

I did not.

It's all coming back to me, my French.

Bye. -Sorry.

Asshole.

Dad. Don't piss on your shoes.

Here.

No, you drive, son.

You drive.

How long does it take, this charging? -20 minutes.

Oh, right.

Are you alright? -Just sending an email.

Then we'll go.

If it's too much, we'll go back. -No, don't be silly. No, no.

They'll manage without me.

No one is irreplaceable.

True.

That's basically true.

Basically true.

In Willem's class they did a project the other day.

About work. Each kid explained to the whole class

what their parents did.

Willem's turn came and he had no idea.

These kids haven't got a clue what their parents are up to all day.

Did you know what I did?

You were in logistics.

Yes, something like that.

Transporting stuff, and

putting stuff in warehouses. Right? -Yes. Yeah.

We supplied household goods to all the big department stores.

But not you personally. -No.

So what did you do?

Good question. I have no idea, actually.

Funny. The older I get, the less I remember about how it was.

How what was? -Our family, our home.

How we were together. -Oh, it was very simple.

You were always up to no good and I was always punishing you.

It really was that simple. -Yes, that simple.

Look who's here. We're almost in the Pyrenees, man.

That's too far.

Charleroi.

Ever been? -Nope.

Sounds posh, doesn't it?

Tell us something nice about Charleroi.

Charleroi was once a vital industrial hub.

Its glorious coal mines and steel industry are now gone.

It has social problems, high unemployment, and high crime rates.

The suicide percentage is among the highest in Europe.

Fun place, this.

Great fun.

Just driving through makes me want to kill myself.

When I'm dead I want Uncle Theo to speak at my funeral.

Uncle Theo? Why?

It cheers me up to think of him standing there at the microphone

and stumbling on his nonsense speech.

And the whole audience has to sit and watch for half an hour.

Gordon Bennett.

You okay?

Yes, fine.

What's wrong? -Nothing, nothing.

You sure? -Yeah.

Gentlemen, have you made your choice?

Choice, he says choice.

Have you made your choice? -Oh, in Flemish. Yes.

I'd like the chef's hamburger. -With fries or potato croquettes?

I'll have the...

croquettes this time. -Very good. Sir?

I'd like the Spanish prawns please.

And something to drink? -A local beer please.

I'll have a

bitter lemon, please.

Bitter lemon.

What? I'll be tested again, you'll see.

We'll be in France soon. They're fine with it.

You just want to get pissed. -Hey now. It's not that bad.

You think?

If they tested you for alcoholism, you'd pass big time.

Almost everyone passes that test.

Until that time, no worries. -So it's no problem?

No. What's wrong with a beer or some wine once in a while?

Once in a while? It's more than that, isn't it?

What are you doing?

I could have gone on holiday with your mum at this rate.

What business is it of yours? I worked bloody hard all my life.

So now I get to eat and drink what I want.

You and your Spanish prawns and bitter lemon.

Don't you get it? We're not in bloody Barcelona here.

Here you drink beer and eat meatballs or hamburgers or deep-fried stuff.

The whole world is committing suicide and you order prawns and bitter lemon.

Son, I didn't raise you like that.

Here we go, gentlemen. One local beer.

Delicious. Thank you.

And one bitter lemon.

Cheers, old boy.

Yeah, cheers.

Fantastic. That hits the spot.

Here you are, sir.

Enjoy your meal.

Enjoy.

You too.

You did have a point. The whole world commits suicide here.

But they know how to make Spanish prawns.

Is there no apple sauce with your kids menu?

Here.

No, no. I'm eating this.

Come on. Take it.

No, no way. -Don't be difficult.

God almighty.

You want some of mine? -No way.

You can pay for that train ride. -Deal.

The train ride is mine.

Will you be travelling much further?

No idea. He's driving. We have to go back onto the E42.

But we might go down the alternative road to

Grenoble.

Do you know a hotel along the route to France?

We actually have a small B&B here.

Is it available? -Certainly.

So we have arrived.

Hey sweetie, how is it going? -It's going quite well.

And with your dad? -He's fine. He really is.

He's having a great time.

What do you talk about? -The food, the kids.

He goes like, how are the kids? That kind of thing.

How are the kids? -Fine. They're in bed.

Okay, they're in bed? So they'll probably get a good night's sleep.

What else would they do? Smoke pot? -Okay. Sorry.

But tell me, what did you do today? -Nothing. Just... you know.

We drove, had a bite to eat.

Maarten.

He's on a lot of meds. A whole fishing tackle box full of pills.

Instead of hooks and lures he has a pill in each section.

He takes one of each, a hand full, and then he downs them all.

It was kind of shocking.

I was like, any room left in there for your steak?

Surely you knew he takes pills? -But that many, I had no idea.

What is he on then? -I don't know. I'm not a pharmacist.

Put him on, I'll ask him myself. -On the phone?

Dad.

Dad?

Dad.

I think he's outside having a smoke. I'll call you later.

Three times, my friend. Can you believe it? Three times.

Is this man bothering you? -Maarten, this is Pascal.

Maarten Wessels, two children, pretty wife, good job, electric vehicle.

This guy really knows what's what.

Your dad is the best, do you know that?

Do you? Really? For sure? -Yes.

It's really special that you're travelling together.

Yeah, well...

Well? Well? Don't be so modest. You made a plan together and you took off.

You could write a book about it. What an adventure.

Cherish it, my friend. I never knew my father.

He left when I was three but it's been fucking frustrating

if you're not allowed to see your kid and bond with them.

You have no idea. Right?

I only know because my fucking ex lives in Rumania

and doesn't stick to the deal.

You know? You know, friend?

I can't imagine what that's like. -No, but I can.

You see your kids, don't you? -Yes.

Job and Willem, 8 and 6. I know.

He's well informed. -Yes, we had a great chat.

I'm well informed of the forms, my dad always said.

My father was a real asshole.

That man caused a lot of damage.

But hey. You're a good father.

And he's a fantastic son, I can see that.

Shanty, a drink on me, for Hans and his little boy.

Guys, make it a good one.

Have a good trip and beehive yourselves.

What a great guy.

Yeah.

It's that simple. They get a new system.

I make sure it works, and that everyone else knows what to do.

That's it, really. -Right. But what if you can't?

Then they get mad at me. Of course.

Doesn't seem fair. -Yeah, well, look.

I like my job because that kind of pressure feels good to me.

I like it. -I think it's wrong.

You don't get a moment's peace these days.

It's not too bad.

Are you worried?

Hey. Just collecting glasses, or do you want to dance?

If you want to dance, sir, we can.

I brought the wrong toiletry bag. -What?

The wrong toiletry bag.

I just washed myself with vaginal infection cream.

Doesn't sound ideal. -No.

Wonder what your ma is greasing her box with right now.

Hello. -Hi, how may I help you?

Two croissants please.

What's that? The book, what is it?

Oh, it's a road map.

Where did you get it? -It was on the counter. For free.

For free?

Here. 25 euros. -Blimey.

That's 55 old guilders. -So, not free.

Let's see, where are we?

There. Nice cuppa coffee.

'Nice'?

Eww, gross, man. -What?

Gross. -He'd just rinsed the system.

I can taste that. It's all soap.

I may be sick, but my tastebuds are fine. This is good coffee.

Lovely.

So, I have a really great idea.

We switch the navigation off and use the road map.

Why? -It's fun. Like the old days.

We used to do all of France on a map. And then the coffee was really vile.

That stuff is revolting, man.

Let's see, after Reims we find the D20.

I saw that just now.

Pontfaverger-Moronvilliers. -That's over there.

Is it? Let's turn around then.

Maybe I missed an exit. -I'm turning.

Unless we back up all the way?

Look at that view.

Do you understand what he's saying?

I think it's about champagne.

If you take a moment to taste it properly

you'll find that this one has a creamy finish.

Pinot noir.

Can I have a look too? -No.

I think we were here before.

Eyes on the road, you idiot. You trying to kill us?

Very fruity. -Mainly grapes.

But also pear. -Pear, my ass.

A little more, please.

This is Hautevillers. The burial place of Dom Perignon.

Who? Himself? -Himself.

Blimey.

They're all like, who was that nutter?

Blimey.

Later on this will all be full of grapes. Grapes everywhere.

Is this a cycle path or a road? Are cars allowed here?

What are you doing? -Getting the other one.

You have one of those in your garden. -Yes. My dad gave it to me.

No idea why. -I've got one.

I gave that to you, you dork. -What do I do with it?

What was he saying? -I thought you were paying attention.

Look, look.

I'd love to taste that one.

I wouldn't mind either, but

it's unbelievably expensive and exclusive.

So sadly that's not happening.

What was that? -He says he's madly in love with you.

Oh man, that's really good stuff.

That's vintage champagne. You taste all the years it's been in that bottle.

It's mature. Like cheese, but different.

I think. I never tasted it, obviously.

How much is that one? -Almost 900 euros.

900 euros.

He's crazy. That's a whole weekend trip with all the trimmings.

Yes, I'm sure you're right.

There you go. -Thanks very much.

This morning I found something in my wife's toiletry bag.

An intimate cream.

And I nearly washed my hair with it.

You don't taste that, you know.

He doesn't get it. -Let me try.

My father...

in his toiletry bag...

and in the house. Yes?

In the Netherlands. -Right.

It was the toiletry bag... -Sophie's.

My mother's.

Right. Wait here.

Here you go. White wine vinegar.

My wife says it's perfect for vaginal infections.

White wine vinegar works for his wife.

If he says so.

Thank you.

Listen. Champagne works for everything.

For your mouth, the flavour, but also for the...

Goodbye. -Bye.

Have a nice day. -Thank you.

Dank je wel. Tot ziens.

Look at it. Gorgeous.

It's massive. Twelfth century, is it?

Gordon Bennett. -Dad.

We're in a church. -Gordon Bennett was a catholic.

I don't think they'll know him here. -Pardon me for breathing.

Well, my boy, there you are then.

It's never easy, is it.

Bad luck. Things move fast sometimes. Real fast.

You know all about that, don't you.

But anyway, we grin and bear it.

I have to go. Got my son with me, so

take care, okay? Take care.

Here's to a good end, I guess.

Au revoir, Madame.

Dad. Let's go up.

What? -Let's go up.

Thank you.

Really great, but I'm going back.

There's a window here. The view is lovely.

Coming. -This way, okay?

Yes. Tell you what. Take a picture.

Dad.

Holy crap, that's brilliant.

What's this? -Jean Milan extra brut grand cru.

Tight and dry church water.

No, this. What is this?

What's your name?

Me? Jean. -Jean. His name is Jean too.

What are the chances, right? Well, everyone around here is called Jean.

Or Pierre. -Oh, you know Pierre?

Of course I know Pierre.

What does he want? -Nothing. Just a chat.

Here. Taste this.

Out of this world, right?

It's a grand cru, isn't it? -Of course.

That's nice, eh? -Yes.

This one knows how to drink.

So what's the planning?

What? -No, I'm talking to my son.

Ah, okay.

Tomorrow we'll do that train. -Fantastic.

We'll go to the hotel now, check in, have a rest.

Rest? No need. I'll sleep at home.

Shall we? -Yes.

Here. Hang on.

Thank you. That's really kind. -My pleasure.

Bye bye. -Bye.

Compared to him I'm doing pretty good.

Good church, wasn't it? -Beautiful.

Did you light a candle in there? -Don't be silly. That's all rubbish.

I suppose you're right.

Hey, this is the wrong way. -I know, it's fine.

Be right back. -What are you doing?

Just a sec.

Yes. Thank you. Bye.

Do you remember on our holidays we sometimes stopped over?

I sure do. That was fun.

Always in a shabby hotel along the motorway.

A tiny room. Me on the floor. -Yes. But it was always fun.

It was fun, all of us together. -So I thought...

Is there a problem?

No, not at all. -No, no. But...

Wait. I'll handle this.

We have two rooms.

But we want to leave one room.

Because I love young children.

Cheers, my boy. Santé.

Wow.

I'm thinking yes.

This is nice.

It sure is.

Shall we sit for a minute?

Sure.

Tell you what. I'll order some food to be brought up here.

Good idea. Yes.

Hey, honey. -Hi, sweetie.

How are things? Can you cope?

It's fantastic here. And our Maarten, he sure knows what's what.

He shows me all the best things.

You will tell him if it's too much? -Of course. Leave it to me.

Okay, honey. -I got you a really nice present.

Oh. Booze, is it?

No, no booze this time. This is a beautiful vinaigrette vagine.

Really great stuff. I'll show you later.

Sounds posh. -It really is.

But you will pace yourself, right? -Yes, I told you, sure.

Don't worry. I'm having an early night tonight.

Oh, sweetheart. -Yeah.

You're my girl, you know. -I know, Hans.

Bye, poppet. Bye, sweetie. Goodnight.

Bye, love. -Bye.

Bonjour, monsieur.

How long did I sleep? -Two days.

You must be hungry. -I could eat a horse.

Room service. I got you a steak tournedos.

Divine.

That's a lobster. Not a steak.

That was not a tournedos.

No, this is a tournedos.

Yes, but that was not a tournedos.

That is half a lobster.

Yes, but half a lobster was not a tournedos.

No.

The lobster is for me.

Thank you, sir. -Enjoy your meal, sir.

Did you say: a lobster is not a tournedos?

Yes.

You can see it. Lift those lids.

See the difference? -Sure.

A lobster has legs. A tournedos doesn't.

You can see it here on the side too.

No, I get it.

This is no good. -What? It's delicious.

Eating in bed like this.

I spend all my time trying not to make a mess.

Oh, I thought you hated the steak.

Mum used to make me breakfast in bed sometimes.

A lovely soft-boiled egg, coffee, some toast.

But it was always a mess.

Breakfast in bed is like life itself.

You try to do it right but it always ends up a fucking mess.

In my case, at least.

But sweet of her to do it, right? -Sure.

She's very sweet. She's...

Very very sweet. That's not it.

My little Sophie.

Here. Bloody hell.

What are you doing?

I'm going to set the table.

Have a seat.

You know this wine never used to have bubbles?

It was a still wine. Like a murky rosé.

After the first fermentation they put it into vats

and it would ferment again, turning the sugars into carbon dioxide.

Then the morons removed the carbon dioxide, but the smart ones

bottled the wine before the second fermentation.

So the bubbles stayed inside the bottle. Brilliant, isn't it?

That was Dom Perignon? -Some say yes, others say no.

What is that wizard called again in The Smurfs?

Papa Smurf? -No, he's the papa smurf.

The bad guy. With the cat.

Gargamel. -Yes. Dom Perignon is like Gargamel.

I suppose so.

The Smurfs. Huh.

You were crazy about The Smurfs. Glued to the TV.

With your wet hair, in your jammies, watching The Smurfs.

I would join you then. So cozy.

Yes, it was.

How about a coffee? -Yes. Good idea.

Shouldn't you change your pants? -I should, really. Come on.

Dad.

Ooh, careful.

Careful, he's armed.

Don't you hurt her. I'll protect her with my life.

Leave those people alone. -Of course.

Are you celebrating something?

We got married last week.

This is our honeymoon.

Fabulous. Did you hear that, Maarten? Married.

Yes, I heard it. I speak the language. I understood.

Please go ahead.

Where are you from? -That man wants them to focus.

Oh, okay, fine.

Well done. Wow.

I can do that.

I've always wanted to try that. -Yeah? Me too.

Really? Alright.

No, no. -Yes, yes.

I'm sorry.

You wanted to learn, right? -Can I help?

Are you seriously practising on those grand crus?

Of course. We'll drink them, there are four of us.

Don't worry.

Careful now. -Are you ready?

3, 2, 1...

You're a natural.

Who's thirsty?

She can do it too.

Here's to a long, healthy, happy life.

So he left the board members in confusion and told them

to stick the new system where the sun don't shine.

Two seconds later he calls me: Dad, we're going on a trip.

So here we are. Wonderful, when your son does that for you.

Yeah, man. Great.

If he talks too much, let me know. I'll stop him.

No no, don't worry.

Do you have children? -They're way too young.

Not yet. -We'd like to have them.

Lots of practice first.

That's what I said at first. Lots of practice.

Two shots, bullseye. No more practice for me.

I was 22 when this one turned up. -Crazy.

My god. I was in the prime of my life.

A little bundle of joy.

That's so cute. -So cute.

Our parents weren't happy that we got married so young.

Are they crazy?

Here, look at this.

Is that your wife? She looks like a strong woman.

Yes, a strong woman. Our little Sophie.

She's fantastic, I swear.

You know, it lasts a lifetime. And then it's over.

And you only get one chance together

to let love blossom and flourish, from young to old.

Everyone around you gets divorced, they start new relationships, great.

But the chance to go down the entire length of the path

with just one person, that's the best thing in the world.

Best thing in the world.

Now you say something.

You're the wise one, Dad.

What's it like, a trip with your dad? -Fabulous.

We should have done it years ago.

Okay gents: cheers.

Schol, we say. Cheers to our families.

And to love. -Yes, to love.

How did you two meet?

You tell them. Yes, you, spit it out.

Go on. -Okay, fine.

I was at university in Antwerp.

And Wanda had a student job in a book store near my digs.

So one day I went there and I saw her...

Hey, er... -Yes?

I'll just look at the stars for a while.

I'll be right there.

It's that way.

Take a picture.

Dad, I'm going down for breakfast.

Here you are, sir. -Thank you.

Dad? Are you still sleeping?

Dad.

Still asleep?

Dad. Hey.

Daddy.

Goddammit, Dad.

Dammit.

You have one new message, 8 August 2025 at 18 minutes past 12.

Hey, Maart. Aren't we having a fucking great time together?

I'm lucky to have you. You make me happy, man.

And I'm also proud of you. Thank you.

I mean, thank you, but you should thank me and your mother.

We made you, didn't we?

Me and Mummy. But, er...

I'll get to the point. Call me back when you hear this.

Because I haven't got a clue where I am now.

Hey wait, you can get your shoes polished here.

Great. This is fun. I'll polish my shoes here.

Oh. Ouch. Gordon Bennett.

Hello, this is Hans's voicemail.

Leave a message after the beep. I'll call you back as soon as possible.

Hey, Dad.

It was great.

That train ride was really

great.

Lots of really long corridors and

lots of bottles.

You would have

enjoyed it tremendously.

You saw the photo in that leaflet, in any event.

So basically you saw what it's like.

Right?

It was good.

It was good.

I'm proud of you too.

You come to an age

when you attend more funerals than birthdays.

Sadly often caused by illness.

I myself have been in this room a bit too much lately.

For example, my neighbour, Aad van Gent, was taken recently.

Also cancer.

But it didn't stop him from riding his bicycle.

Hans, too, was active right up to the last moment.

Although he really hated bicycles.

He preferred going by car.

Or, if there really was no other way, by public transport.

But sadly he was forced to miss the last train.

Here you go, Dad.

Blanc de blanc 2002.

Gordon Bennett.

Brilliant.