Original subtitles

Dear Dr. Climax.

I'm Boon. I'm 18 years old.

One morning, I was heading home drunk.

I saw this unusual-looking, big banana tree.

I don't know what made me want to touch it so much.

When I took it out, I felt a sting on my weapon.

But it felt so good, I kept returning to do it again and again.

I've thought about quitting 'cause I'm ashamed, and it stings.

But it's too much fun to quit.

Darling...

-My Johnson is covered in red marks. -Darling...

What should I do?

Dear Dr. Climax.

My name is Joob. I'm still single.

When loneliness would hit,

I'd relieve it by smearing strawberry jam on...

and letting my dog at home...

I'd like to know if I'd be considered a pervert.

"SO TASTY... CAN'T STOP LICKING"

I'd like to know

why our semen tastes so different.

Some taste bitter.

Some taste sweet.

And why do some people produce so little?

One more thing.

I'm afraid that when I get married, my wife won't be able to accept it.

She probably won't have issues with your Johnson.

You should get married ASAP

so you can stop ejaculating painfully into a banana tree.

If I consume too much of it, will it affect my body?

Could this action pose a risk?

Don't forget, if the dog feels the urge to bite...

he might bite your organ.

The other night, did you get home safely?

Yes.

How do you know it's me?

I never gave this number to anyone else,

and I believed you'd call.

I miss you every day.

I...

miss you too.

I want to see you again.

I...

want to see you too.

I want to feel your smooth skin.

I want to taste the sweetness from inside of you.

I want to put my finger

inside you slowly.

It feels so warm inside.

So warm that it feels amazing.

At 1:00 p.m. today,

an animal lovers' group

gathered to protest to discontinue the column "The Climax Question."

The response to this letter has caused immense distress among dog lovers.

If people copy this behavior,

I want to know how the Bangkok Express would take responsibility.

Think about it. Hasn't our society already deteriorated enough?

Regarding this issue, we all share a responsibility

to help prevent a pervert, who claims to be a doctor

yet is unwilling to reveal their identity, from influencing our children this way.

As you can see, Choo,

besides Pornchai, we've gotten many calls and letters expressing discontent.

I think

we're doing the right thing.

If we're going to do a sex advice column,

we need to have the courage to answer every question directly and openly.

Tien, what do you think?

I agree.

We must maintain that our paper is the paper for the new generation.

It's open to all kinds of people,

and we accept everyone, no matter who they are.

So it means that

we're declaring ourselves as enemies of conservative groups, right?

Right, how's Dr. Nat doing?

They're here.

Go take a seat over there. Go on.

SECOND SIGHT

We're here. Hello, Mrs. Sopha.

-Hi, Mr. Pornchai. -Oh, hello.

It is the heir of the legendary surgeon.

As promised, today I'd like to treat you to some tea.

Thank you very much.

I'll excuse myself, then.

Hold on, Nat.

Won't you have a little chat with us,

Doctor?

Nat's helping his doctor friends with a research project.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Seeing doctors help each other out makes me glad,

unlike parasites in the field like Dr. Climax.

Hey.

You're at it again.

But it's true, Mrs. Sopha.

I, for one, have never liked that disgraceful column

that they dare print in their newspaper every day like this.

Mom.

I've told you before

that this column does more good than harm.

Oh, do you really think so?

Yes.

Why don't you share your thoughts? I want to hear them.

I've never seen sex as something dirty

since everyone is born out of it.

Sex is a part of a relationship and love.

People who are trying to say that sex is dirty

are the abnormal ones.

Nat.

The world is already changing.

There are only a few old dinosaurs

trying to cling to the same old ways.

Let me ask you just one question.

If there's nothing wrong with it,

why doesn't someone like Dr. Climax dare to reveal his identity?

Not daring to reveal his own identity simply means

this doctor

is too much of a coward to accept himself.

Someone like Dr. Climax

not only fails to bring any good to others

but also drags those around him down with him.

Dear Dr. Climax.

I have a secret weighing on me

that I'd like your advice on.

Let me go by the name Sangjaan.

I was born into a public servant family with a certain status.

Hey, I got something for you.

Although I was born with a male body,

I've been sure that's not what I am

since I was ten.

When I was 15 years old,

I met my boyfriend.

-It was love at first sight. -Hey, come on.

Let's continue.

I feel so suffocated,

having to hide who I really am

and not being able to express my true feelings.

Wow, you came straight here after your training, huh?

There are times

when we both imagine

an impossible world.

SIAM STARS

A world in which TV dramas have lead characters

that are both male.

Hiding my true self is already bad enough.

If I have to get married according to my parents' wishes,

I won't be able to live with myself.

What should I do, Doctor?

DEAR...

Dear Mr. Sangjaan.

First of all,

I think you're lucky to have realized early on.

Many gay men only come to the realization after marriage,

which can lead to a more painful experience.

Being gay isn't a disease,

so it can't be cured through marriage or any other means.

In this modern world, where humans have explored space countless times...

Wishing you lots of happiness.

...I believe that everyone

should find the courage

to face the truth within themselves.

Stay true to who you are...

and follow where your heart leads you.

You don't need to answer the letters in the red box.

Are you really going to prove yourself by doing this?

I've been avoiding problems long enough.

Do you know there's a growing backlash against the column,

accusing Dr. Climax

of promoting sodomy?

I want you to ease up a bit.

Here.

Just respond to the normal issues. I'll help you choose.

Dear Dr. Climax.

I'm writing to you today not because I have a problem.

I just want to thank you for the handsome man

you recommended to me.

I have to admit that this man is really right up my alley.

I was wondering if you've got another one like this.

Or, if you're up for joining,

you're more than welcome.

Ms. P...

could you please leave?

What did you say?

Nothing.

-Hey, handsome. -Want to go?

-I'll give you a good price. -Want to go?

Want to have some fun?

A good price for you.

Why did you follow me, Doc?

Need more ice.

I will

get you the medication.

Or if you need to see a specialist,

I know quite a few.

Forget it.

I already have my medication.

But there has to be another way that... doesn't involve doing something so dirty.

Dirty, you say?

I used to think that way.

But I've changed my mind.

Even if I told you, you wouldn't get it.

You're having fun pretending to be someone else.

But to everyone,

I'm Thong Tien.

People have already labeled me

as this macho writer with unlimited sexual energy.

But... that's what I envy about you, Tien.

But it's become an expectation for me to be something I'm not.

But you know what?

When I go into that place,

no one knows anyone.

No one knows that I'm Thong Tien.

I've just realized

that once I shed the identity of Thong Tien,

my confidence returns.

But what you're doing right now...

is very dangerous.

I can take care of myself.

Didn't you respond to a letter saying we should follow our hearts?

Nat.

Why did you come home so late?

Why are you whispering?

Because... Well,

how long has it been since you and Tukta were intimate?

Mom. Why would you ask me something like that?

My goodness. What's happening to everyone in this house?

We used to be so happy.

Were we ever truly happy?

Wasn't it just you managing everyone's lives?

What have I done wrong, Nat?

I just want to make everyone happy.

My life has no more meaning than that.

So,

what is this really about?

The other day,

I overheard...

I overheard Tukta

pleasuring herself.

I tried to bring it up with her,

but she only said that

she wants to stay true to who she is

and follow where her heart leads her.

She sounded like that pervert doctor

when he answered the letter encouraging people to be gay.

This column is filthy.

Hello, and welcome back to the morning news for today.

The world is confronting AIDS,

a new disease that could reach pandemic proportions.

Preliminary reports indicate that

the virus originated among men who have sex with men.

Men who sleep with men like they do with women.

Both partners engage in repulsive behavior and must face lethal punishment.

And Pornchai has expressed a strong opinion about this.

Dr. Climax, your incitement for people to openly express their homosexuality

has led to a pandemic like this.

How will you take responsibility?

Doctor...

I followed the advice you gave me.

I listened to what my heart told me...

and revealed my true self

in front of everyone.

But the result of following my heart...

What the hell?

No! Please don't!

Your son's behavior is so disgusting, yet you tried to deceive our family

and our daughter.

-Don't hurt him. -Quiet! Stay out of it! Get out!

-This is what you get! -That's enough.

Grandma, does he like men?

Hey, don't go near him.

Hey, you queer!

Where are you going, queer?

Come here, you queer! Queer, where are you going?

STAY TRUE TO WHO YOU ARE...

HATE QUEERS

Hey, that's enough!

Is this

the result of following your heart?

Doctor, please answer me.

Doc.

I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO WAY LEFT TO GO ON LIVING

I can't do this anymore.

Everything Dr. Climax has done

turned out all wrong.

Here's Linda's address in Hat Yai.

I got it from the employee records room.

I'm only doing this 'cause it's you.

Now, promise me...

that you won't hurt Linda again.

Hey, Permpol.

Can you do me a favor?

"COLUMN OF SODOMY" COULD SPREAD AIDS IN THAILAND - SIAM BULLETIN

RUANGTHAM SHOP

PLERNJAI PATHUMMAT OWNER

OUT OF TOWN FOR URGENT WORK BE BACK SOON

KHAO BANDAI NANG

Congrats, Captain Pao,

on finally closing the Sua Yai case.

So it means you've got time to help me again, right?

This time,

I've got a plan

that will humiliate him so much, he won't be able to live in this country.

Just you wait.

From what I saw,

Thong Tien is quite promiscuous.

He sleeps around with many women.

She's probably one of them.

Typically, places like this serve two main purposes.

The first is drugs,

and the second is sex.

Look at this.

Judging by this guy's style, it's likely more of a sex club.

Also...

it looks like we're not the only ones following Thong Tien.

Then you'll need to look into this guy for me too.

Of course.

What's up, young man?

Is this Linda's house?

What business do you have with her?

Well, I...

I've come to convince her to go back to work.

Just a sec.

-Ped, go get Linda. -Okay.

Have a seat.

Oh, actually, I don't...

Just drink it.

It'll freshen you up after a long trip.

Listen,

don't work my daughter too hard, okay?

Linda might come off as tough,

but she can break too.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Mom, what is it?

Linda.

Wait, Linda.

Will you

come back with me?

Since when are you my boss?

Just go back.

Mom.

He came all this way to get you. You're not doing anything here anyway.

It's best if you go back with him.

There's nothing between us.

Nothing, my ass. It's obvious.

I...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I lied to you.

I'm sorry for saying terrible things to you,

and I'm sorry for hurting you.

Did you rehearse that on the train?

How about an improvised version?

I've missed you, Linda.

I miss the times we spent together...

and when we worked side by side.

These days, when I

glance over at your desk,

I can only see your face.

I never believed in the concept of family...

but I don't wanna destroy any family.

I don't wanna be a second family.

You're not my second family.

Then what am I to you?

You said we screwed.

Yes, we did.

It was for work.

To get answers to the letters.

I've realized now...

that you're the one who helped me find answers to every question.

When you're not around,

I'm left with so many questions

that I don't know how to deal with.

Given that,

what are you

to me?

Just an assistant.

Right.

You're an assistant who helped

save my life.

You make me feel like...

everything I've done

is worthwhile.

You make me like my own life more, Linda.

And

there are many people waiting for you to help me solve their problems.

Fine, I'll go back.

You will?

But we won't have sex again.

And the first person you should be solving problems for

is your wife.

-I'm not sure if... -You have no choice.

That's the deal.

Let's go after her.

Hurry!

Hello, ma'am.

How about some flowers? Every bunch is pretty.

I'll take this one.

This one?

-How much? -Two baht, please.

-Actually... -For your wife.

Apologize to her.

Make it up to her.

It's for you.

Mr. N...

a tender touch from you

will let your wife feel that you care and that you love her.

Nat.

Let's stop.

The flowers

didn't work.

Linda.

I don't know what I should do.

Linda.

Wait, Linda. Where are you going?

I have a meeting.

Linda.

This isn't gonna work.

It's only been a day, and you already know that?

Are we just lying to ourselves?

You're the one lying to yourself. I told you I'm just an assistant.

What kind of assistant screws her boss?

We only screwed to get answers.

Linda.

Doc.

Tien went to the swingers club again.

What? Really?

Doc.

What should we do?

Oh, right.

Okay, then.

I'll try to talk to Tien.

Where's Dr. Climax?

Here's another troublemaker.

I'll deal with him.

Hi there, bro.

Dr. Climax is not here.

No. You're lying.

I'm not lying. Please leave.

Where's Dr. Climax?

I'm not lying.

-Tell me. -Bro, please leave.

I don't buy it.

I'm gonna see him.

-Bro, wait! -Come out right now!

Calm down. Let's talk this through.

Where's Dr. Climax?

Come out! Come and talk to me!

-Come out! -Help me grab him!

Come out!

Help me here. Please leave!

Bro. Let's talk it out.

Mister,

if you have a problem, write to him like everyone else.

I did, but he never answered!

-He never answered! -Bro, stop!

You didn't have to do that!

-Don't hurt him. -Calm down, young man.

-Is he okay? -Just talk things out.

Is he crazy?

What are you looking at?

What are you looking at?

I'm Sangjaan.

Tell Dr. Climax for me

that his advice has really fucked up my life!

Why does everyone have to throw me out?

Bro!

Why does everyone have to hate me?

Why does everyone have to hate me?

Hey, don't do it!

Mr. Sangjaan!

Bro! Don't!

Calm down!

Mr. Sangjaan!

No! Don't!

Don't come any closer!

Let's get away!

Let's talk.

I'm going to do it.

Hey! Don't!

Do it.

Go on, do it.

Do it.

And no one will ever understand you.

If you die, everyone will forget it by tomorrow,

or at least they'll remember you were gay.

Just a pathetic freak who took his own life.

What you're going through right now isn't because of Dr. Climax

and not because you're gay either,

but it's because you're not strong enough to prove it to others.

Hey,

just keep fighting.

Prove there's nothing wrong with you.

All right?

-You damn disease! -AIDS spreader!

-Hey! -Go to hell!

-Stop! Please stop! -You pervert!

-Stop! -The fuck is wrong with you?

Stop! What the fuck is wrong with you?

Aren't gay people humans too?

Dear Mr. Sangjaan.

In this modern world, where humans have explored space countless times,

I believe that everyone

should find the courage

to face the truth within themselves.

Stay true to who you are...

and follow where your heart leads you.

Help! Someone's been shot!

Permpol!