Original subtitles

Love it.

You can put the brace away, but don't get rid of it just in case.

Okay.

Oh, by the way, I'll be at this address from now on.

I'm starting my own practice in Harper City. It's only an hour away.

I don't care how far it is.

I'll see you soon.

Goodbye.

I'll see you next week.

Edward Bliss.

Nice to meet you.

New office address, Daddy.

Oh, yeah.

Just relax.

New office address, Mr. Renfrew.

Wherever. What do you call this?

Upside down.

In here.

What are you talking about?

I'll tell you what I'm talking about.

When I started for you as an intern, you promised me specific raises if I was

kept on... Bullshit.

You're talking through your ass, Blizz.

All right, then, Buster.

My ass says this.

I've got a family to think about now. I can't keep doing all the work here for

none of the money.

And since I just got my own D.C., as of Monday, I'll be in business for myself.

Naturally, I'd be grateful for any referrals you can give me, but I suspect

that you're about to run out of patience.

I know I have.

Very funny, Blizz.

Har, har, har.

Well, it won't be so funny when you fall flat on your keister.

You'll be needing help with subluxation then, you muscle-bound goody-goody.

On your ass, Bliss.

Flat on your goddamn goody-goody ass.

Let me give you a hand there, sunshine.

a little raffler door. He's not going to be a raffler.

He's going to be a doctor, just like his daddy. But his daddy's a raffler, too.

Not anymore, Eddie.

Your last bout.

Oh, Eddie.

I'm so happy. The beginning of our new life.

I've been thinking, maybe I could just raffle once in a while, just to keep my

hand in.

You know, Sammy really needs me here.

And there's no reason to quit the Kansas cold turkey. Eddie, you promised.

I don't care what it is. These guys are crazy. They're always getting into

stuff.

You've got to get together in the ring. What you do outside the ring is your own

business.

Get out of here. I'm sick of looking at you. Don't pout.

With spoons.

That crotch punch.

Like the tin?

Are you kidding?

Like it. You got to use it again next week now.

There isn't going to be any next week.

What? That was Eddie's farewell fall.

Farewell fall.

Yeah, Sammy, I've been meaning to tell you. How come today he's a DC?

What is that, a dog catcher?

Doctor of chiropractic.

He's 30 years old. We've got a baby on the way. It's time for Eddie to put

aside childish things.

Okay, but why has he got to quit rock and roll?

I'm sorry, Sammy, but you see how it is.

We're moving to a new home, and I got a new practice, and... I've thrown my last

crotch punch, Sam.

You'll come crawling back, Eddie Glitch.

You've got the wrestling game in your blood.

You need the contact.

Skin on skin.

That's something you pretty little...

Dickwad, let me give you a hand.

Where are you going, Dickwad?

these boys had their arms broken.

This is a serious infraction.

This young man has emotional problems, Mr. Bliss.

I am only the school disciplinarian. These problems should be addressed.

Oh, they'll be addressed all right, Mrs.

Boutsikaros.

Eddie, do you have anything to say for yourself?

Come with me.

What you do reflects on me, Eddie.

I'm a respected member of this community.

I'm a pharmacist.

I'm not a hooligan.

And someday, you're going to be a pharmacist too.

No, I'm going to be a wrestler.

Pharmacist. Wrestler. Pharmacist.

Wrestler. Pharmacist. Wrestler.

Pharmacist. Wrestler.

Pharmacist.

Wrestler.

Pharmacist. Wrestler.

Pharmacist.

Oh, Edward, I'm so proud of you. A full scholarship.

Your father will be thrilled.

It's a wrestling scholarship.

And it's a good school with great preparation for chiropractic training.

Well, I'm not so sure we have to tell your father that.

A free ride.

And you want to use it for studying chiropractic? But, Dad... You want to

spend your life jimmying people's spines? Dad, spinal integrity is... It

is crack stuff.

Eddie, drugs.

Don't you get it?

Drugs help people. No, Dad.

I can't do this anymore.

This stuff is unnatural, and it doesn't even work. Half the stuff I've been

grinding up is sugar pills, and the other half is borderline narcotic.

impertinent little creep.

Dad, the ancient Greeks didn't use all these powders and preparations.

They wrestled. That's how they cultivated healthy bodies.

Ancient Greeks?

Everybody knows that they were pansies. No, Dad, it's not about that.

Providing remedies and decoctions, son.

That's an honorable trade.

No, Dad, that's the quack stuff.

God made us whole. The ancient Greeks never ever... Shut up with the ancient

Greeks!

You get out of here.

And don't come back until you get some respect for the mortar and pestle.

Mortar and pestle.

Mortar and pestle.

Mortar and pestle.

Mortar and pestle.

So, you're here about the chiropractic internship.

Internship.

Internship.

You're the new intern.

Your first patient's in there.

Thank you.

Moonlighting, huh?

So, you want to try the professional wrestling game?

Do you have some kind of gimmick?

Some kind of stick?

You know, a get-up to get the crowd's attention?

Naked Man.

I love the name, but we're not zoned for that type of wrestling around here.

And cover that thing up, for God's sake.

Bliss.

You did all those patients in two hours?

Yes, sir.

I like you, kid.

Now you're talking, Bliss.

That's a get-up.

That'll make show.

You can pick up chicks in that.

You mean like on a date?

Yeah.

I do.

Okay.

I like you, Eddie.

I like you, Eddie.

I like you, Eddie. I like you, Eddie.

Whatever. My knee's killing me. Watch it. Come on. We're going to get you.

Let's go.

Easy.

My girl's in the office.

Roll.

I'm your girl.

Remembering.

Still my girl, Kim?

Always, Eddie.

I think you're going to like Harper City.

I think I'm going to like any city that doesn't have Sammy's big time wrestling.

And sports shows, honey.

I'm just not so sure about being right across the street from your dad's

pharmacy. It's time for Edward Bliss Jr. to come home.

And it's time for Edward Bliss Sr. to accept his son for what he is. A

chiropractor. I figure if I'm near him, he's got to accept me sooner or later.

Looking at my sign every day, Edward Bliss, doctor of chiropractic, and

seeing me every morning on my way to work, and I'll be waving at him.

I love my dad.

He's got to accept me, right?

I'm the only son he's got.

I'll be waving at him every...

Those maniacs.

Jeez.

Oh, I can't believe it.

People in this little town drive like rhesus monkeys.

Like cockroaches.

What do you think they drive like?

Huh?

I think they drive crappy.

What was the name of that little town we just drove through?

Whoa.

I think it was called Harper's City.

Looked like they had a drugstore. Did you see if it had a ramp?

I wonder if it had a ramp.

I sure would like to stop there on the way back.

Give me a banana split.

Our little boy's come back to us.

Edward.

Back to day, Dad.

I hope that's all right.

Son, you stay just as long as you want.

This is my best gal, Kim.

Sorry, Mom. Second best gal.

Dad?

Hi, Mom.

Dad?

This is your grandson, Dad.

What do you think?

Oh.

I bought the place across the street, Dad.

The last lawsuit broke Doc Palmer, so he sold it to me real cheap.

We're going to live behind the office and we'll wave at you every day, Dad.

And I'll wave at you, son.

Bliss Chiropractic and Bliss Pharmacy, quite a combo, Dad.

It's a regular Bliss corner.

And every morning we'll be waving at each other. And Kim, too.

Whoa. wave every day, son.

That's right.

Well, I gotta go see a man about an x-ray machine.

You could get acquainted with Kim and Junior.

Goodbye, Dad.

Goodbye, son.

Goodbye, Dad.

Goodbye, son.

I'm sorry.

If I misaligned any vertebrae or the sudden tensing on impact not at any of

your muscles, feel free to call me for a complimentary office visit. And if your

friend here needs my services, rub dead.

Peanut butter and bacon sandwich.

Thank you very much.

I'm sorry, sir. We only serve fountain items.

There's a lunch powder on Elm Street.

Why don't you have a ramp?

Excuse me, sir? This is a public place, ain't it, Chucky? I couldn't ride my

wheelchair. I'm sorry, sir.

Of course, it is only one step.

One step?

100 steps.

Wheelchairs don't climb steps.

Put in a ramp.

I'm sorry, sir.

Sorry nothing.

Don't you give a crap about the disabled?

Sir, that kind of language isn't going to help anything.

Oh, no?

Say, wait a minute.

You know, I never thought of that.

I never thought whether or not that kind of language helps anything.

So, you know, maybe you're right.

I should watch my language.

Give me a banana split.

Pretty please.

Thank you.

Speak. Yes, ma'am.

I'll have a peanut butter and bacon sandwich.

Thank you very much.

Crescent nuts?

No. Spina bifida.

Will either of you gentlemen require anything from the pharmacy?

Yeah.

Hot rum!

Thank you.

Enjoy.

Oh, baby, don't sell that bone spotter till I get there.

principal functions of the spine to support the head to support the ribs and

to support the chiropractor i'll be weaving at you dad

black strap

two things make my life bearable.

Drug and fountain feet.

You look like very nice people.

What'd you take for this place?

Not for sale.

Not for sale?

Not at any price?

Not for sale.

All you nice people to think about what my life is like.

I got two legs that feel like the Queen Mary and dry dock and a spine like a

pig's tail.

Attractive personality, sure, but you see, people don't see that when they

look at the disabled.

My son just moved in across the street.

Not for sale.

With a simple, effective spinal adjustment.

Nerve impulse flow is restored by means of the chiropractor's primary... Well,

thanks anyway. My wife's got a spare tidicum, so I'll just put it on back to

the store.

All right.

Oh, I can't believe it.

Okay, Circe.

You didn't like it when I asked, did I?

You didn't accept my tender offer.

You've got a bias against the disabled.

Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

These people are elderly.

Why don't you just leave us alone?

Elderly people?

Oh, we've got some golden ages.

Well, let me tell you something, turds.

I've known a whole lot older.

Thank you very much.

Because you can't get any older than dead.

Sir! Sir!

That one's moving.

I've got a show at 8.

I've got to get there.

Folks are counting on me. Get in the road, Creepy!

I've got a baby on the way.

Sir?

I've got to make Mom proud.

Sir, could you step over to the shoulder, sir?

Sir, have you been taking any drugs?

No, I believe in holism, physical culture, fruits and vegetables, and

spinal integrity.

Sir, would you mind blowing into this bag?

Sorry, I damaged your plastic bag.

Now, if you officers will excuse me, I've got a family to think about and a

show to get to.

One second, buddy.

Hey, gentlemen, aren't you guys up next, huh? What are you standing around here

for?

Listen back.

Bliss! Didn't I tell you that you couldn't stay away?

Hey, Eddie.

This is gonna be great.

Make an announcement about a special fall.

A grudge match.

We'll match you up with Charlie.

You haven't fought the mountain man in a while.

Get back here.

Don't go with the...

I say that the mountain man calls you a stingy pack of scratch.

Hey, wait a minute, kid. Let me make the announcement.

Hey, where are you going?

You're in the middle of a... Watch that thing, would you?

And now the Naked Man comes into the ring to give Newt Hamlinson a hand. The

Naked Man and the Viking are great friends, of course. You're absolutely

right, Marty. Last Easter, the Naked Man gave Newt a crane of raw herring, which,

as you know, is all a Viking eats.

Well, I believe he also eats wild berries, Dale.

And by the sound of it, I think there's broken cartilage. Well, worse than that,

Dale, I swear, I heard the shoulder ball pop right out of the socket. And, folks,

I ain't kidding.

How in the world can the naked man overcome odds like this?

I would like to thank you all for coming today to hear my thoughts.

Many evils plague modern society.

As you have just seen, no race, no creed,

no profession is immune.

I once thought I could fight this evil within the confines of the examining

room and the ring.

No, this was a grave error.

There can be no out of bounds in the fight against malfunction.

In a world where vice is manifold and human misery multiform,

right must go forth.

Therefore, I have decided to walk among you. Walk among you? What walk among

you? Hit somebody.

You have seen the many faces of the evil that men do.

But what is its one root cause?

What is the single great wrong that poisons human intercourse?

I think you all know that it is spinosacral misalignment.

We draw our being for good or ill from our neuroskeletal system.

Man is born whole, but is everywhere treated in pieces.

The medical doctor, the druggist, and all those who puncture the skin,

they would treat the parts of man.

But man is not in the parts.

Man is true.

Man is straight.

Man is whole.

And that is why I have decided to walk among you.

to establish goodwill on earth, freedom from drugs,

and spinal integrity.

Thank you all.

God bless you.

And good night.

Hey. Greco-Roman or pro?

Okay.

Yep.

Right.

Soon as possible.

Oof.

mm-hmm

This happens in the middle.

Well, it ain't pretty.

Got a lot of disabled people.

Some broken bones, some paraplegics, some quads, and the ring here is slick

with spinal fluid.

It's a tough nut, all right.

Not tough to crack, tough to stomach.

Coffee?

Yes, sir.

Herb's name is Edward Bliss, Jr.

Apparently, earlier this evening, he also jaywalked and inflicted universal

sprains on the two officers attempting arrest.

He handcuffed them together in an anatomically improbable configuration,

pilfered one of their hats.

and fled he's a white caucasian six foot two last seen wearing a body stocking

depicting the human skeletal muscular system right there are about 300

witnesses here so we'll be taking statements for some time meantime i put

his description out in the wire funny thing everybody says after he manhandled

these joes he made some kind of a speech but nobody agrees on what it was about

some say it dealt with good posture and sitting up straight some say it was

about good and evil

Others say he was advocating nudism.

Some people thought it was a gag.

Quite a few were moved.

Others were bored silly.

I'll tell you one thing.

Until we catch this back snapper, the only person who's safe on the streets of

this burg is Gumby.

Hello.

I need some way of getting around town. Do you suppose one of your customers

would mind if I borrowed his motorcycle for a few days?

What am I asking you for? I should just ask one of them. You're the bartender.

Bartender, can I have some beer, not too salty, and a glass of water at

room temperature?

No skin, no service. Oh, no, I have skin.

This is just a painted leotard. I know what it is, Gut Boy.

Please don't.

Don't call me Gut Boy.

Why not?

Gut Boy.

Hey, aren't you the guy from the wrestling match?

Why is he calling me Gut Boy?

He's just a jerk.

I was at your bout tonight, and that speech you gave, man, that was deep.

And that thing you said about this fine man, that is so true.

I once had a boyfriend with a flip disc. My God, he was an asshole.

What's up with Gut Boy?

Oh, no.

He's cool, Mountain.

He's got this thing figured out where, like, if everybody's back was okay, then

there wouldn't be so much negativity.

I don't get it.

Mountain isn't really into theories.

Well, let me tell you something else about Mountain, young lady.

I don't care whether it's tobacco or marijuana.

This is not good for him.

And alcohol is a progressive depressant which will eventually destroy his liver

unless it engenders a fatal accident first.

I wouldn't do that to Mountain.

Furthermore, all this ventral weight...

And the rest of this is chicken fat?

This creates load stresses that his skeleton was not designed to

accommodate, nor was his heart.

Mountain's about to rip a guy's head off.

Now, I would recommend that Mountain here adopt a regimen of aerobic

exercise, a diet of fresh fruit and raw or steamed vegetables, and a schedule of

chiropractic visits until he trims himself up and gets all of his alignment

squared away.

Then...

Maybe Mountain will be ready to take its place in civilized society.

You know, Mountain, this could cause severe cranial spinal subluxation.

Karski.

Yeah.

Well,

Lieutenant, looks like our boy again.

No witnesses this time.

But all the victims have their next vent.

It's tough to figure what connects these schmoes to our bone right.

But we're not far from Sammy's big-time wrestling sports shows.

We can't argue with the M.O.

Present Puffy's drug locations are marked with the red flags.

Now have more or less complete penetration of the Tecumseh Valley area.

Harper City being the only town of any size without a Puffy's outfit.

Bliss Drugs is the premier pharmacy in Harper City.

Its owner, Edward Bliss Sr., and his wife, Marlinda, died recently.

Oh, jeez, that's too bad.

Who does the place go to?

The Blisses have a son named Edward Jr.

He recently bought a property across the street, apparently with the plan of

moving back to the town after having been gone for some time.

He's a chiropractor, although he used to wrestle as a character called the Naked

Man. Tell me something.

Where would a fellow find this fellow if a fellow wanted to, you know, talk to a

fellow? Good question.

The police are looking for him in connection with a number of killings at

Hog Heaven, a local biker bar, and a serious disorderly conduct charge at his

former place of employment, Sammy's Big Time Wrestling Sports Shows, in review.

Well, he looks like a reasonable guy.

I sure would like to talk to him.

So... I told my parents to go to hell, and I joined the Rough Riders.

You sure were hard on them.

Most of them aren't bad people, really. They just have learning disabilities.

I think I always knew that they weren't really what I was looking for, you know?

Rough sex isn't always the answer, is it?

I didn't think so.

Anyway, I'm glad we're riding together now.

My name's Dolores. What's your name?

You don't really care about the names of things, do you?

You don't, Chad.

Because the surface, that's not where it's at.

When you talk.

deep inside.

And that is where you reach me, quiet man, you know.

Deep inside.

I love you, quiet man.

It wasn't that or the names of things anyways. I mean, why is this a

marshmallow?

There is no reason.

Things are either bad or good or hard or...

Squishy. Regardless of the name.

I can tell that you have had a great time.

I've never had that.

I've never had anything really deep.

Just a couple of uptight parents and a bunch of low-life friends.

Is there someone else quiet now?

Is it all about her?

You wear the suit for her, ma'am?

Oh, she's very beautiful.

It's okay, man.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Feel

the

marshmallow.

Bye.

You took my heart and left me alone.

But I can't fight this time. You know those days.

I know, I know your name and your face.

Your lips, your hair, your eyes, everything but your number.

Something special.

Something cool.

Where are we going?

I'll know when I see it.

What is it?

Wait here.

May I help you, sir?

Cigarette, sir.

Film?

Drugs, sir.

May I see the manager, please?

Do you have a complaint about the service, sir?

I'd just like to see the manager.

And what shall I say is the nature of your business?

The nature of my business?

It's my business.

Of course, sir.

And your name?

I think it's Ed.

Someone called me Ed once. She had egg running down her hands.

But do the names of things really matter? Probably not, sir.

I'll tell the manager Ed is here.

Do you smell rye bread and Limburger cheese?

The manager.

Is there a problem, sir?

The man on the sign outside.

Puffy? Does he own these drugstores?

No.

He just frowns for the guy that owns them.

Stick Bologna.

Stick won't use his own pictures.

He's a little self-conscious.

About his fine.

Where can I find him?

Pick? Pick.

I don't know.

Well, he's meeting a shipment at Emerson Airstrip.

A shipment of drugs.

You mean illegal drugs?

Illegal drugs.

The drugstore is just a front for drugs.

You sell drugs?

Yeah.

That's the whack it.

Ow!

It's the best place to hide them, drugstores.

The police never look.

They wouldn't know what's which.

What's up, son?

You see?

You're the party of the first part. I'm the party of the first part?

Well, it's pharmacy.

Party of the first part.

Little Butter, Brad, Dave Savage, thank you very much.

You know, Butter, which came first?

The party of the first part.

You thought I was driving.

That's fine.

How did you do a drugstore?

You see, I'm the party of the second world.

I can't believe it.

I'll be waving at you.

You don't want the drug door.

Push pharmacy?

I'll give you a fair price.

Just think about how you're going to spend all that money.

Fifty bucks?

Thank you.

$50 for your drugstore.

I'll be waving at you, Dad.

My baby.

My baby.

You just sign right here if you think that Miller's good.

That's a good deal.

Party of the first party.

I'll sign here, Dad.

You're nutty, Brett.

All nutty.

Luckily, I know this little clinic.

It's a private clinic.

They'll give you all the drugs you like.

It's a private clinic. It's a private clinic. It's a private clinic.

It's a

private

clinic. Fighter?

Don't seem like much of a fighter to me.

Your red dress. Red dress.

Matches your eyes.

Oh, yeah.

Hair saws. Thank you.

And then flippin' and splittin'. Red dress.

Red dress.

Let me give you a hand.

Better,

better, better.

Matches your eyes.

Matches your eyes.

It's a blend of natural mud and speed drugs right out of your system, quiet

man.

I got rid of my navel rag.

I might get rid of my nose ring, too.

I am not going to puncture my skin anymore. You want to know something?

It never really made me happy.

I'm going to follow you, quiet man, because you know, you know that there is

something higher.

And it's inside of you.

And that higher thing, that's what I follow.

Here.

Bliss is a natural healer. His interpersonal skills and physical touch

are excellent.

However, Bliss also displays a propensity for abstract chiropractic

speculation, which, left unchecked, could lead to grave and even dangerous

errors.

From the capital high.

Big fat.

From the garden of Eden.

Mother, pack your bags.

Take your woman and the...

Hmm.

Where's my cargo?

Where's my blow?

Ain't it better back?

Okay, Snow White you clear for approach and landing on 13

You probably fell asleep again. Go wake him up.

We also found the manager tossing pills into a suitcase in preparation for

flight. So I did the old good cop, bad cop routine with him.

Minus the good cop, of course.

I'm staying like a killer.

Seems our boys headed to the Emerson airstrip to knock off Sticks Verona,

who's there meeting a drug shipment.

Should be there right now.

I am naming you a special narcotic phaser.

Very important work.

Thank you very much.

We got a probable 405 in progress at Emerson Airstrip.

Requesting backup.

Car, bird, and ambulance.

Plus stun gun, mace, butterfly net.

This is a code blue in Hotel Sierra.

Say Hotel Sierra. Repeat, this is a confirmed Hotel Sierra.

What's a Hotel Sierra?

Holy shit.

Give us a hand here, will ya?

helpless little woman.

There's been enough killing.

He's got a point.

Sayonara Styx Angela just the way though

Okay, son Thank you

You're a good boy Eddie

You're a good boy

Still my girl?

Aw, Eddie.

Where were you?

I was gone.

But I'm back now.

Then me too.

Hey, what's this?

Don't worry.

My lawyer says he's never seen a better candidate for the insanity defense.

Penny? Remembering.

Happy times?

Yeah.

Happy, happy times.

You, you took my heart and left me your number.

And I find I can't find it and I've been looking all over the place.

I know, I know your name and your face.

Your lips, your hair, your eyes, everything but your number.

Everything but your number.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The voice, the moans, the cries.

From the bank to Neaslin.

Take it on a heel and toe.