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We own
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you
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bitches! We own!
4
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Black guy was black so I didn't want to
like own him.
5
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Good call.
6
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:33,360
This is awesome, though.
7
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I love parking and going- There's a
spot! There's a spot! Yes!
8
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Do we have the best luck or what?
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Fuck you! No, fuck you! Fuck you!
10
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Okay, it's too small anyway.
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Motherfucker!
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There are no spots!
13
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Does everyone have a car now?
14
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Did we get it? I just realized it's the
driveway.
15
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Fuck!
16
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Can we put the top back up?
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Oh,
18
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God.
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Okay, we need to park.
20
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We need to park now.
21
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Why would there be spots?
22
00:01:33,740 --> 00:01:34,740
I'm a spy!
23
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I'm a spy!
24
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Motherfucker! Shit! You know what?
25
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Owning this car's been the worst two
weeks of my life.
26
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Wait, someone's gonna steal it. Exactly.
27
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Four and three and two and one.
28
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,020
You can't bring those in here.
29
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Well, it's worth like six or seven
bucks. There's loose juice all over the
30
00:02:07,340 --> 00:02:12,780
place. How many times can you... Quality
31
00:02:12,780 --> 00:02:14,500
bottle.
32
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Um, I purchased these Dunkaroos last
week, and then I realized that they were
33
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:21,520
expired. Yeah.
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All Dunkaroos are expired.
35
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Any Dunkaroos you see are literally from
the 90s. They're from before I was born.
36
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Before you.
37
00:02:30,220 --> 00:02:34,120
Yeah. Okay, we don't need to get into
the nitty gritty of Dunkaroos' corporate
38
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history or whatever. I would just love
to return this product, please.
39
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,640
Yeah, you can't return stuff at a
bodega.
40
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,860
Okay, well then I will please take the
store credit.
41
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:54,560
You can return them if you can tell me
my name.
42
00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:03,640
Yeah, of course. Your name is Bodega?
43
00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:09,800
You think my name is Bodega? Oh, my God.
No. I was going to say Bodine.
44
00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,600
That's not a name. It is so.
45
00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:15,500
My favorite aunt's name is Bodine.
46
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You know, very irresponsible that you
sell expired products knowingly.
47
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,200
Bye, Abby.
48
00:03:36,460 --> 00:03:38,720
To brush my teeth. Well, what are you
going to wear?
49
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Scrubs. Can you show me the dimensions
of your arm, Lauren?
50
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,720
What? Just do it.
51
00:03:50,860 --> 00:03:51,860
What?
52
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:55,760
Oh!
53
00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:01,600
Oh, my God!
54
00:04:02,380 --> 00:04:03,720
We're going to play together!
55
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,180
Killed it. Nailed it.
56
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,460
I thought about being a dog uncle.
57
00:04:11,740 --> 00:04:15,460
Coming in and out of the dog's life, all
about fun and games and treats and toys.
58
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,279
Being a dog dad is different. It's a lot
of responsibility.
59
00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:22,140
That's a big choice to make for another
person, huh?
60
00:04:23,060 --> 00:04:24,320
You know what's also a big choice?
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00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:28,320
Killing a dog. And that's what was going
to happen to her today.
62
00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,600
But, you know, I get it. If you feel a
six-figure salary isn't enough to
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00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,320
support a tiny dog... No, no, no, no,
God, no!
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Because I could take her back.
65
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:36,500
She's precious and beautiful.
66
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:37,760
I love her.
67
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:39,870
How long was the dog in the box?
68
00:04:44,090 --> 00:04:45,090
Good haul.
69
00:04:45,430 --> 00:04:46,470
Oh, thanks.
70
00:04:47,350 --> 00:04:51,490
I don't, like, need this. It's just for,
like, extra cash. Because I'm actually
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00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:52,550
an artist. Me too.
72
00:04:53,270 --> 00:04:55,370
Showing in New York and London right
now.
73
00:04:56,410 --> 00:05:01,930
Gotcha. Wow. Yeah, I'm showing in one of
the most prestigious chiropractor's
74
00:05:01,930 --> 00:05:03,810
offices in the village.
75
00:05:04,030 --> 00:05:05,050
Oh, can time.
76
00:05:05,710 --> 00:05:06,710
Okay.
77
00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:11,269
Thank you, brother.
78
00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:13,810
Sure. So, got you a gift.
79
00:05:14,050 --> 00:05:15,650
Oh, my God. That's an iPad.
80
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:17,370
Yes. Thank you so much.
81
00:05:18,370 --> 00:05:20,730
Wait, why is it not in a box?
82
00:05:21,130 --> 00:05:22,130
It's refurbished.
83
00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:23,409
It is?
84
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,790
Yeah, it's like brand new.
85
00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:26,310
Except not.
86
00:05:26,690 --> 00:05:31,230
No, I mean, look, one could make the
argument that if you give a gift, it
87
00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:37,030
should be brand new. You know, I just
gave you $400 worth of almost new iPads.
88
00:05:37,030 --> 00:05:38,050
No, you're right. Thank you.
89
00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:39,810
I'll just, I'll wipe it clean.
90
00:05:40,050 --> 00:05:42,510
Now, you gotta get out of here because
Abby's coming and I want her to think
91
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:43,730
she's the only person getting a gift
today.
92
00:05:43,990 --> 00:05:44,990
Is hers new?
93
00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:47,150
Get out of here. Go!
94
00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:49,890
Oh my god, here she is. Go, go, go, go.
Hide your face.
95
00:05:51,130 --> 00:05:52,130
I love money.
96
00:05:55,410 --> 00:06:01,810
I'm really sorry I'm late. My train
karma is at an all-time low,
97
00:06:01,930 --> 00:06:03,810
as is my general karma.
98
00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:07,030
I really need a job. I just need to aim
low.
99
00:06:08,090 --> 00:06:09,570
Like, maybe Forever 21.
100
00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:13,210
Or that shitty coffee shop on Avenue A.
Love that place.
101
00:06:13,430 --> 00:06:17,310
Or Barnes & Noble, maybe. How many
don'ts have I taken at Barnes & Noble?
102
00:06:17,590 --> 00:06:20,730
Well, that's a solid list, and I got
just the thing to seal the deal.
103
00:06:23,690 --> 00:06:24,830
Alana, for you.
104
00:06:27,570 --> 00:06:33,670
No. Are you kidding me? This is that
fancy bag we saw in the window. Yep.
105
00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:35,710
I've been making so much freaking cash.
106
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:39,680
and having so much fun spending it on
myself. But now that I am old money, I
107
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:40,680
gotta start giving it away.
108
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:41,760
How much was it?
109
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,900
Was it more than the blue dress?
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00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:47,380
More than an ounce?
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Stop stressing about it. Alana, is it
more than my rent?
112
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,600
What?
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I can't keep this. You have to take it
back.
114
00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:56,400
Absolutely not.
115
00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:00,280
I seriously believe in you, Abby, and
you have to dress for success. You need
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00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,099
to look.
117
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,740
How do you feel? I feel like I spent two
hours this morning recycling bottles and
118
00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:06,280
cans for four hours and 15 minutes.
119
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:11,280
Yeah. All right. Well, now you can feel
like you were two months around your
120
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:15,120
body. Everyone is going to see how
freaking hot you are today, including
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00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:19,500
you. Okay? Go get them, Tiger. I'm going
to go be sent to one last sweet little
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00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:20,840
elf. All right.
123
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,660
Thanks, Alana. I owe you one. I'll see
you later. Love you. Love you, too.
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00:07:32,429 --> 00:07:38,230
Himmels! I have a gift for my little
Guatemalan coffee bean, and you'll never
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00:07:38,230 --> 00:07:39,230
guess what it is.
126
00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:42,510
Jaime?
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Jaime?
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Himmels!
129
00:07:47,670 --> 00:07:48,750
Jaime, what happened?
130
00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:50,510
I got your face.
131
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:51,770
What? No!
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I got your face.
133
00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:54,950
Jaime, what are you saying?
134
00:07:55,310 --> 00:07:57,110
We have bed bugs!
135
00:08:54,850 --> 00:08:56,670
It's about the bag.
136
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,330
Love that bag.
137
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,920
Well, I've been really careful about who
I'm with and where I sit. So where do
138
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:14,920
you think you got them?
139
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:15,960
Oh, that's rich.
140
00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:19,700
Okay, I've been going through a dry
spell ever since I got on my pee-pee. I
141
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,300
haven't slept with anybody for two
months.
142
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:22,860
We got this from Jew lady.
143
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:23,939
Jew lady?
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00:09:23,940 --> 00:09:24,899
You, you.
145
00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:27,120
Well, I'm in a relationship, so I'm
safe.
146
00:09:27,380 --> 00:09:29,200
Okay, then maybe we got them from Abby.
147
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:31,080
Don't you dare bring her into this.
148
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:32,600
I went too far.
149
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,080
Have you been using protection?
150
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,020
What are we even talking about now?
151
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:37,280
The master's protector.
152
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,240
Tell me you got a mattress protector.
153
00:09:41,620 --> 00:09:42,620
Yes.
154
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,460
Yes. You're lying.
155
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:46,980
You are a liar.
156
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,240
Mattress.
157
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:24,319
Excuse me.
158
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,320
Hi, how may I help you?
159
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:28,180
Can I please speak to the manager?
160
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:29,900
Absolutely.
161
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:31,100
Follow me.
162
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,820
God, maybe I could have fucked those
people before I got back together with
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00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:39,200
Lincoln. Those people were filthy.
164
00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:42,900
No, I could have been more careful. I
always sit on the wooden benches in the
165
00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:46,080
subway platform, even though I know that
they are getting hurt. I just love the
166
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:46,959
way the wood feels.
167
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:50,260
You know, it's easy to blame yourself,
but it's not your fault. Bedbugs don't
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00:10:50,260 --> 00:10:54,560
discriminate. I once saw these suckers
take out the Metropolitan Opera House.
169
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:56,740
What if we got rid of our clothes and
our possessions?
170
00:10:57,020 --> 00:10:59,020
And what if we promised to learn how to
pray?
171
00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:00,399
Or we can move.
172
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:04,300
No. No, no, no, no, no. You don't treat
the apartment and move, and the city
173
00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:06,580
finds out, you're looking at ten years
to life.
174
00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:07,860
Jesus Christ.
175
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:09,780
You live in New York City five years.
176
00:11:09,980 --> 00:11:12,100
You got bed bugs. Well, I do have some
good news.
177
00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:13,340
I found the source.
178
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,460
This moist, dark paper right here.
179
00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:18,300
That's where they first laid their eggs.
180
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,160
No, no.
181
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,880
Yeah, we're going to have to burn all
this. What, booze, hookers?
182
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,780
I meant literally burn it.
183
00:11:26,220 --> 00:11:29,840
Isn't that illegal under federal law?
When it comes to bed bugs, it's illegal
184
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,120
not to burn infested cash.
185
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:32,900
Why couldn't we have just gotten herpes?
186
00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:35,680
Then we could at least keep all her
stuff and I would have just learned how
187
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:36,680
to use concealer.
188
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,220
I can't guarantee that I can get them
out. However, I can guarantee that I
189
00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:41,220
can't.
190
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,440
You heard me.
191
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:47,720
Yeah, so actually the flagship
anthropology was in my hometown.
192
00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:52,260
No disrespect, Lisa, but I probably knew
about anthropology before you did. Well,
193
00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:53,560
I didn't even know where the first one
was.
194
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:56,840
Fun fact, there was actually a coffee
shop inside.
195
00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,520
We should bring that back.
196
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,200
Yeah, you should.
197
00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:02,080
So you were a fitness trainer?
198
00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:04,220
It's actually an amazing story.
199
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:09,560
I was a trainer, but I started at the
company as a cleaner janitor at the gym.
200
00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:11,740
I turned a shitty job.
201
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,060
into a fitty job.
202
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,760
Because, Lisa, I had a plan of attack
and I climbed that corporate ladder.
203
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:24,320
I often see things other people don't.
The gill of anticipation, you know, and
204
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:25,640
that's exactly what I did, Lisa.
205
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:28,040
That's exactly what I did.
206
00:12:30,980 --> 00:12:33,640
Well, that is how you nail an interview.
207
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:37,660
I mean, I have to talk to the
higher-ups, but I know you'll be a
208
00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:39,780
valuable addition to the Anthro family.
209
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,040
Wow.
210
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:51,780
Great. Sushi Mambo. Marcel, hey, it's
Alana. I can't believe I'm about to say
211
00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:56,160
this, but... You have bedbugs. How'd you
know? Because Brenda was using Sushi
212
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,760
Mambo as her own personal hussy hut.
213
00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:03,540
What? Clean out your ears, other Tanya.
Brenda was running a prostitution ring
214
00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:07,760
out of Sushi Mambo after hours. She
brought in bedbugs and who in heck knows
215
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:11,780
what else. So... We are closed for
fumigation indefinitely.
216
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,420
Well, what about my job?
217
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:17,300
Child, I hope you put your cash in the
bank and made yourself a little breath
218
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:19,420
day. Because who knows if we'll bounce
back.
219
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:20,980
Well, where are you going to go?
220
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:25,860
I'm going to go wherever I can be the
best father to my only son.
221
00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:28,440
Well, my son.
222
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:29,960
Toodles.
223
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:51,210
This is our lives now. We have bed bugs.
We are fully fucked by bed bugs. Us and
224
00:13:51,210 --> 00:13:52,350
all our marks.
225
00:13:54,130 --> 00:13:55,890
You have it a lot worse than I do.
226
00:13:56,150 --> 00:13:57,150
It's because I'm sweeter.
227
00:13:58,810 --> 00:13:59,810
What are we going to do?
228
00:14:00,050 --> 00:14:01,050
I'm calling Abby.
229
00:14:12,890 --> 00:14:15,090
Nice purse.
230
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,570
Shut up. Go.
231
00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:27,150
Hey, hey, hey, vote in. Vote in. Hey,
vote in, please.
232
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:28,750
Vote.
233
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,530
All right, draw the money. All right.
234
00:14:32,730 --> 00:14:34,370
Before she gets back. All right, all
right.
235
00:14:35,270 --> 00:14:37,510
Okay, can you just look away for a
second, please?
236
00:14:37,750 --> 00:14:39,030
What for? My, my pen.
237
00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:41,230
I just... My God, I'm mugging you,
bitch.
238
00:14:41,490 --> 00:14:42,490
Okay, okay.
239
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,610
Well, let me guess. Were you born in
1988?
240
00:14:46,290 --> 00:14:47,550
Jesus. Good pen.
241
00:14:48,350 --> 00:14:50,650
Okay, you know what? I don't usually
have a gun.
242
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,920
Point it at me, bitch.
243
00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:55,640
I have a license to carry this. You want
to see my permit?
244
00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:58,720
No. Do you want to see it? No. No, I
didn't think so. Go to your fucking
245
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,920
balance now. Come on. I'm just not doing
very well right now. Do it! Okay, okay.
246
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:08,520
Oh, my God. Is this a joke?
247
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,480
No, I'm having a rough time right now.
248
00:15:10,980 --> 00:15:11,980
Let me see your savings.
249
00:15:12,020 --> 00:15:15,080
I canceled it because it was costing me
like six bucks a month and it wasn't
250
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,260
really doing me any good, so... That's
your total equity?
251
00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:20,220
$374?
252
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:23,160
Are you kidding me? You've got to keep
more money in your bank account than
253
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,020
that. No, I know. What if there's an
emergency?
254
00:15:25,260 --> 00:15:27,900
What if the economy all of a sudden
tanks? What are you going to do? I'm not
255
00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:29,140
sure. Wow.
256
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,080
You're giving me advice. You're mugging
me right now. So?
257
00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:36,020
I'm proactive about my finances.
258
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:40,700
And look, you clearly are living beyond
your means. Can you afford that bag?
259
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:43,080
This was a gift from a very wealthy
friend.
260
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:46,300
That's too expensive for you. Give me
it. Get out of my bodega, motherfucker.
261
00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:53,250
Holy shit.
262
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:57,110
Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much.
263
00:16:00,470 --> 00:16:04,530
Maybe you could have gotten the bag and
the money. Maybe you could have
264
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:05,530
remembered my name.
265
00:16:07,390 --> 00:16:08,390
That's fair.
266
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:12,010
Hey, I have a full-on bed bug. Can I
come over?
267
00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:13,770
Ooh, Alana, no. That's how it spreads.
268
00:16:14,170 --> 00:16:17,030
Plus, if I got bed bugs from my sister,
what would people think?
269
00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:18,850
You are so afraid of insects.
270
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:20,370
We need to talk about that in therapy.
271
00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:25,120
Yes, of course. Come home for the
weekend, sweetheart. That'll be
272
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:29,560
wonderful. You know what? We'll go do
nails, then baths, then maybe... Well,
273
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,020
Mom, I am going to need complete access
to the washer and dryer because I'm
274
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:36,820
going to bring every item of clothing
home that I own. And to be honest, most
275
00:16:36,820 --> 00:16:39,700
of the time I'm going to be in the
shower scrubbing the bed bugs from my
276
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:43,540
hair and body. You haven't been home in
months and now you get bed bugs and you
277
00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:44,540
want to bring them here?
278
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:45,940
No, no, no. Fuck you.
279
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,120
So I thought maybe we could...
280
00:16:48,460 --> 00:16:52,180
Play with the puppy, watch a little
movie, make some dinner. I'll give you
281
00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:54,120
really rigorous head.
282
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,019
I'm with that.
283
00:16:55,020 --> 00:16:59,900
Right after I take a shower because I
have a bed bug. What? No!
284
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:04,660
Come on, Lincoln. My family's turned me
away. I really need you, my boyfriend,
285
00:17:04,780 --> 00:17:08,640
right now. And I just happen to be right
outside your building.
286
00:17:08,859 --> 00:17:09,859
Come on, Lincoln.
287
00:17:11,339 --> 00:17:13,579
Sorry, Alana. I can't let you in.
288
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:14,839
I'm a dad now.
289
00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:16,520
Sticky's Health is my first priority.
290
00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:17,689
You named her?
291
00:17:17,690 --> 00:17:18,569
Yeah, sticky.
292
00:17:18,569 --> 00:17:19,569
Like sticky rice.
293
00:17:20,069 --> 00:17:21,069
Sticky rice.
294
00:17:21,069 --> 00:17:22,310
It's my favorite type of rice.
295
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:23,790
That's so cute. It hurts.
296
00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:26,630
I'm sorry I can't help, Alana. I'll call
you tomorrow.
297
00:17:26,849 --> 00:17:27,608
Good luck.
298
00:17:27,609 --> 00:17:28,610
Love you.
299
00:17:29,150 --> 00:17:32,610
I just want to smush you and eat you up.
300
00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:35,690
I'm turning into my mother.
301
00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:38,130
Bodega saved lives.
302
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:41,670
Me and my family, we take that
responsibility, like, really seriously.
303
00:17:42,110 --> 00:17:44,530
And we have a permit. We know our Second
Amendment rights.
304
00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:45,770
Right. Second Amendment.
305
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:47,919
The gun won.
306
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,580
I mean, I was born here, but I helped my
parents study for their citizenship.
307
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,220
Wow. So I know the Constitution like the
back of my hand.
308
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,080
Yeah. No, me too.
309
00:17:56,440 --> 00:18:00,660
I know, like, the back of, like, my
foot.
310
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,460
Never forget it. Because I'm from
Philadelphia.
311
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,080
Well, I'm from the suburbs of
Philadelphia, but, like, it's like 40
312
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:07,819
-minute stops.
313
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,240
To the founding fathers.
314
00:18:09,940 --> 00:18:11,080
Cracking that bell, right?
315
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,300
Liberty.
316
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:13,440
Ding dong.
317
00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:19,350
The one I'm really looking forward to is
the 26th Amendment, because then I'll
318
00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:21,910
actually get to be part of the
conversation, you know?
319
00:18:22,410 --> 00:18:24,150
Totally. The Conversation Amendment.
320
00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:26,150
Yeah.
321
00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:29,610
Masuma, I'm sorry that I did not know
your name. I know it now.
322
00:18:29,930 --> 00:18:33,730
It was just like we passed a certain
point, and then I couldn't ask, you
323
00:18:33,730 --> 00:18:37,950
know? I may be a dumb white bitch, but
I'm not that dumb.
324
00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:40,710
And really, really, I'm not a bitch.
325
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:45,180
Hey. Alana, how did you know that I was
here?
326
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:46,520
Masuma texted me.
327
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,620
You have her number?
328
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:49,900
Oh, yeah. We go way back.
329
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:51,280
Do you want to come inside?
330
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:52,520
I can't.
331
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,220
I have bed bug.
332
00:18:56,580 --> 00:18:57,580
What?
333
00:18:58,380 --> 00:18:59,380
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
334
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:00,259
I'm kidding.
335
00:19:00,260 --> 00:19:01,540
That's not funny, dude.
336
00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:06,260
Oh, my. Abby, can I come over, dude?
Everyone else has turned me away.
337
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,160
Of course you can come over. You're my
best friend.
338
00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:12,980
I mean, I guess this makes me a real New
Yorker now.
339
00:19:13,390 --> 00:19:17,810
He had a gun. And then he's ragging on
me about my balance. I'm like, you're
340
00:19:17,810 --> 00:19:18,810
mugging me, bitch.
341
00:19:19,090 --> 00:19:20,090
What a bitch.
342
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:22,450
I mean, that's a real garbage person.
343
00:19:23,650 --> 00:19:26,090
Thanks again for having me over.
344
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,290
Of course.
345
00:19:27,390 --> 00:19:28,390
Obviously.
346
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:38,110
And that, my friend, is how you belt it.
You're a retail queen living in it.
347
00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:40,200
Abby Abrams' anthro gal.
348
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,260
I do really have a good feeling about
this.
349
00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:43,920
Even though the bag was taken?
350
00:19:44,860 --> 00:19:50,120
Don't. Which I'm really sorry about. I
am so glad that it came in our lives for
351
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:55,000
such a brief, but the purpose it served,
you know. I love that the bag was
352
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:59,880
stolen. I love it. And you don't have to
get stuff so crazy. It was a lot. It was
353
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,280
a lot. It was like a lot of money.
354
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:02,279
$1,300.
355
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:03,280
What?
356
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:07,080
Abby, you look great.
357
00:20:07,770 --> 00:20:10,970
We're so excited to have you on board.
Oh, I'm so excited to be part of the
358
00:20:10,970 --> 00:20:14,830
team. I mean, it's such a creative place
to work. I've been looking for something
359
00:20:14,830 --> 00:20:15,830
like this.
360
00:20:16,510 --> 00:20:20,070
So, I know it's my first day, but I took
the liberty of doing some sketches of
361
00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:24,130
some potential window displays, pulled
some fabric, and I think that you're
362
00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:25,830
going to be extremely impressed.
363
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:27,890
You can put that on.
364
00:20:28,170 --> 00:20:29,170
Okay.
365
00:20:30,610 --> 00:20:31,610
Okay.
366
00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:34,150
Is this like a new team look or
something?
367
00:20:34,370 --> 00:20:35,370
It seems a little big.
368
00:20:35,590 --> 00:20:37,150
And here's your walkie. Okay.
369
00:20:37,430 --> 00:20:41,450
Basically, Sunil is your go-to guy for
any security questions you have. You
370
00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:42,450
gonna kill it, Abby?
371
00:20:42,590 --> 00:20:43,590
You look.
372
00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:47,550
Welcome to the command center.
373
00:20:52,570 --> 00:20:54,130
Abby, you okay?
374
00:20:55,050 --> 00:20:58,290
Yeah, uh, all clear at the west door.
375
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,250
Do the thing.
376
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,080
Abby out.
377
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:14,900
You ever consider sex work?
378
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,080
Like, maybe like small stuff.
379
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,099
Hand jobs.
380
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:21,260
Would they have to see anything other
than my hand?
381
00:21:21,460 --> 00:21:22,460
Huh.
382
00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:24,860
I would do that if it was just my hand.
383
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:26,100
Let me get back to you.
384
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:27,300
Let me get back to you.
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