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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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This was the third time I'd killed.
3
00:00:12,964 --> 00:00:15,934
Maybe the fourth,
depending on Stella Rose,
4
00:00:16,009 --> 00:00:18,639
but I'd never done it in
front of anyone before.
5
00:00:19,930 --> 00:00:22,850
My mom had seen a part of me
nobody else had, not even Bob.
6
00:00:23,558 --> 00:00:26,058
Had I finally found a
safe place to be honest?
7
00:00:26,561 --> 00:00:28,956
- Could I recover after all?
- What the hell are we gonna do?
8
00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:30,690
I've got two kilos
of cocaine in my tits.
9
00:00:30,691 --> 00:00:32,331
I'll get arrested. We
can't call the cops.
10
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,070
- Let's call Bob. He's my lawyer.
- No.
11
00:00:34,152 --> 00:00:36,505
That's the last person that
should help us cover up a murder.
12
00:00:36,529 --> 00:00:37,949
Great. Now she tells me.
13
00:00:38,031 --> 00:00:39,571
You're saying we should cover this up?
14
00:00:39,658 --> 00:00:41,028
I don't think we have a choice.
15
00:00:41,534 --> 00:00:42,654
If word gets out about this,
16
00:00:42,702 --> 00:00:45,222
we're gonna have some pissed off
drug lords looking for payback.
17
00:00:45,538 --> 00:00:46,898
Shh!
18
00:00:46,957 --> 00:00:48,247
Is that them?
19
00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:49,633
Get the gun. Get the gun.
20
00:00:50,293 --> 00:00:52,843
Patty, open up! I
have something for you!
21
00:00:52,921 --> 00:00:54,881
- It's Henry! Will you...
- Hello?
22
00:00:55,006 --> 00:00:56,526
- Just pretend we're not here.
- Patty?
23
00:00:57,217 --> 00:00:58,217
I can see you in there.
24
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:00,139
Shit. I've gotta answer it.
25
00:01:00,220 --> 00:01:02,679
- Oh, sweetie, you just have a little...
- Mom...
26
00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:03,680
- Mom.
- I won't...
27
00:01:03,682 --> 00:01:04,682
- Thanks.
- Okay.
28
00:01:07,018 --> 00:01:08,518
Hey. What are you doing here?
29
00:01:08,603 --> 00:01:09,693
Third runner-up.
30
00:01:09,771 --> 00:01:10,861
Better than fourth, right?
31
00:01:12,023 --> 00:01:14,080
I heard that there
was a parade tomorrow,
32
00:01:14,081 --> 00:01:15,294
so you'll get to be on the float.
33
00:01:15,318 --> 00:01:18,988
- That's cool, right?
- Yeah, totally. Thank you for the stuff.
34
00:01:19,072 --> 00:01:20,232
- I'll call you later.
- Wait!
35
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I'm going back to Minnesota tomorrow.
36
00:01:24,619 --> 00:01:25,619
What?
37
00:01:26,246 --> 00:01:28,156
- You're leaving?
- Well, yeah.
38
00:01:28,248 --> 00:01:30,788
Dixie's gonna come stay
with us for a little bit
39
00:01:30,875 --> 00:01:32,335
so we can get to know each other.
40
00:01:33,336 --> 00:01:36,376
It's my last night here, so I
thought we could spend it together.
41
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:39,466
Tonight?
42
00:01:43,638 --> 00:01:45,468
I can't. It's just...
43
00:01:45,849 --> 00:01:46,849
My mom...
44
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:51,023
She got drunk and puked
all over the place.
45
00:01:51,104 --> 00:01:53,274
I mean, there's vomit
everywhere. Chunks on the walls.
46
00:01:53,898 --> 00:01:56,566
I don't care. I want to
talk about our future.
47
00:01:56,651 --> 00:01:58,701
I was hoping we could try long distance.
48
00:01:58,778 --> 00:02:00,240
I wouldn't have a future at all
49
00:02:00,241 --> 00:02:02,118
if I didn't get rid of him fast,
50
00:02:02,657 --> 00:02:05,197
even though it was the
last thing I wanted to do.
51
00:02:06,995 --> 00:02:07,995
What's the point?
52
00:02:09,789 --> 00:02:11,669
You're leaving. It's over.
53
00:02:14,753 --> 00:02:17,173
Wait, Patty! Don't do this.
54
00:02:17,255 --> 00:02:18,255
I love you.
55
00:02:20,967 --> 00:02:22,387
Oh, baby, what happened?
56
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,434
I think I just pushed away the best
thing that's ever happened to me.
57
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:27,814
Oh, I'm so sorry.
58
00:02:28,391 --> 00:02:31,481
I wish the biggest decision
you had to make today
59
00:02:31,561 --> 00:02:34,401
was whether or not to continue
a long-distance relationship,
60
00:02:35,106 --> 00:02:36,426
instead of getting rid of bodies.
61
00:02:37,859 --> 00:02:40,359
All those years I wasn't here for you.
62
00:02:40,445 --> 00:02:41,445
You did this...
63
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:43,363
because of me.
64
00:02:45,158 --> 00:02:46,368
It's all my fault.
65
00:02:47,744 --> 00:02:49,374
Was this my chance?
66
00:02:49,454 --> 00:02:51,084
Could I tell her the truth?
67
00:02:51,164 --> 00:02:52,174
It's not.
68
00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:54,581
It's because of me.
69
00:02:57,420 --> 00:02:58,460
I'm a killer.
70
00:03:02,342 --> 00:03:04,592
Oh, my God. My sweet baby.
71
00:03:04,677 --> 00:03:06,137
You're so not.
72
00:03:06,846 --> 00:03:08,926
You saved my life.
73
00:03:09,599 --> 00:03:12,479
You never ever, ever,
ever would hurt anybody
74
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,810
if you didn't absolutely have to.
75
00:03:14,896 --> 00:03:15,976
- But...
- Baby,
76
00:03:16,064 --> 00:03:18,984
you... are a beauty queen.
You're not a murderer.
77
00:03:20,318 --> 00:03:21,988
So much for being honest.
78
00:03:22,070 --> 00:03:24,990
Hey, what's up with the bouquet
and the sash? Did you win?
79
00:03:27,909 --> 00:03:28,909
Third runner-up.
80
00:03:29,536 --> 00:03:31,416
The last thing I want to
do is be on some float.
81
00:03:31,454 --> 00:03:32,544
No.
82
00:03:32,622 --> 00:03:34,252
Oh, that's perfect. You gotta go.
83
00:03:34,833 --> 00:03:36,333
More eyes on you, the better.
84
00:03:37,168 --> 00:03:39,208
It's just... What are we
gonna do with these bodies?
85
00:03:41,005 --> 00:03:43,715
Don't look at me. I've never
covered up a murder before.
86
00:03:44,217 --> 00:03:45,427
Okay. No, I know.
87
00:03:45,510 --> 00:03:46,510
Um...
88
00:03:46,928 --> 00:03:50,888
Oh! We can take 'em, we
can dump 'em in Gator Bog.
89
00:03:51,474 --> 00:03:53,564
Nobody goes down to
that old swamp anymore.
90
00:03:53,643 --> 00:03:55,773
Okay. And we can't forget Bob's gun.
91
00:03:56,479 --> 00:03:57,609
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
92
00:03:57,689 --> 00:03:58,859
- Okay.
- Okay.
93
00:03:58,940 --> 00:04:01,480
- All right. So we've got a plan.
- Got a plan.
94
00:04:02,068 --> 00:04:03,068
It's gonna be fun.
95
00:04:18,877 --> 00:04:21,297
I had finally realized
I was bad for Patty.
96
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,300
- All right. Smile for the voters.
- So I decided to focus on myself.
97
00:04:25,383 --> 00:04:28,013
I moved back into my house,
I was running for mayor,
98
00:04:28,094 --> 00:04:30,354
and I wasn't going to
let anything distract me.
99
00:04:30,430 --> 00:04:32,430
Not Patty, not pageants.
100
00:04:32,515 --> 00:04:33,805
What in the hell are you doing?
101
00:04:33,892 --> 00:04:36,142
It's a photo shoot. Now move.
102
00:04:36,227 --> 00:04:37,557
Oh, poor Bob.
103
00:04:37,979 --> 00:04:40,769
You still trying to get a Grindr
pic that someone will respond to?
104
00:04:41,149 --> 00:04:45,823
No, this is for my mayoral
campaign poster. My dad arranged it.
105
00:04:45,904 --> 00:04:47,744
Mmm. Why don't you just let it go?
106
00:04:47,822 --> 00:04:49,912
You're only running as
an F-U to me and Barnard.
107
00:04:49,991 --> 00:04:52,161
No, I'm not. Not anymore.
108
00:04:52,243 --> 00:04:53,243
But still...
109
00:04:54,370 --> 00:04:55,370
F-U too.
110
00:04:56,247 --> 00:04:58,667
Let's move to the kitchen.
There's more natural light.
111
00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:02,550
Oh, you know where else
there's natural light? Outside.
112
00:05:02,629 --> 00:05:04,129
So maybe you should just leave.
113
00:05:04,214 --> 00:05:05,384
You leave.
114
00:05:05,465 --> 00:05:07,295
You know, I can come
back at another time.
115
00:05:07,383 --> 00:05:10,643
Oh, no, no, no. Now's a perfect time.
116
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,850
Let's move to the breakfast nook.
117
00:05:15,642 --> 00:05:16,892
- Seriously?
- What?
118
00:05:16,976 --> 00:05:19,016
I like to enjoy my coffee over here.
119
00:05:19,103 --> 00:05:22,193
Oh, when is the last time
you ever enjoyed anything...
120
00:05:22,273 --> 00:05:23,523
You know what? This is stupid.
121
00:05:23,608 --> 00:05:26,528
I am not going to get drawn
in to your little drama.
122
00:05:27,237 --> 00:05:28,657
Let's go back to the living room.
123
00:05:29,322 --> 00:05:32,202
No, no, no. Excuse me.
124
00:05:33,159 --> 00:05:34,159
No.
125
00:05:36,204 --> 00:05:37,504
Go!
126
00:05:37,580 --> 00:05:39,540
Are you really gonna be this immature?
127
00:05:39,624 --> 00:05:41,464
Me? You are the one
who is being immature.
128
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,132
- No, you are.
- No, you.
129
00:05:43,211 --> 00:05:44,921
- You. You.
- You. You.
130
00:05:45,004 --> 00:05:48,514
- You.
- You!
131
00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:51,048
- Seems like you have stuff to work out...
- You know what?
132
00:05:51,135 --> 00:05:52,465
- Let's work it out.
- Let's.
133
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,643
- Right now.
- I'm ready. Let's do it!
134
00:05:59,894 --> 00:06:00,894
What's going on?
135
00:06:01,396 --> 00:06:04,226
Oh, hi. Half the house is mine,
136
00:06:04,315 --> 00:06:07,355
and half the house is
your mother's from now on.
137
00:06:07,443 --> 00:06:09,323
Okay. Well, then I want the good side.
138
00:06:09,404 --> 00:06:11,215
You've lost your minds.
I'm going to Magnolia's.
139
00:06:11,239 --> 00:06:14,079
I'm going to get out of here
too. Just call me and reschedule.
140
00:06:14,158 --> 00:06:15,158
- No!
- Okay?
141
00:06:16,286 --> 00:06:17,286
Look what you did.
142
00:06:18,121 --> 00:06:20,195
Now I have to call my campaign manager
143
00:06:20,196 --> 00:06:22,881
and see if I can get
another photographer.
144
00:06:23,918 --> 00:06:25,062
The parade's starting soon.
145
00:06:25,086 --> 00:06:26,086
We'll make it.
146
00:06:26,796 --> 00:06:27,876
Oh, you look pretty.
147
00:06:27,964 --> 00:06:29,554
Thanks.
148
00:06:29,632 --> 00:06:32,682
Not at all like someone who just
killed a bunch of drug dealers
149
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,350
and dumped their bodies in the swamp.
150
00:06:34,429 --> 00:06:36,889
Oh, my God, Patty. What have we done?
151
00:06:39,142 --> 00:06:40,142
Nope!
152
00:06:41,352 --> 00:06:43,152
I don't want to talk
to anyone right now.
153
00:06:43,646 --> 00:06:44,806
I just want a drink.
154
00:06:44,897 --> 00:06:46,937
I know. I could eat a whole cake.
155
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:48,898
We'll get through this together.
156
00:06:48,985 --> 00:06:50,445
Okay.
157
00:06:52,155 --> 00:06:53,605
- Oh, shit.
- No.
158
00:06:54,532 --> 00:06:55,952
Hey, Nonnie. What's up?
159
00:06:56,034 --> 00:06:57,994
What's up? I've been
calling you both all night.
160
00:06:58,578 --> 00:06:59,618
Guess what I found out?
161
00:06:59,996 --> 00:07:02,616
Somebody paid the guy who tried
to attack you at the pageant.
162
00:07:02,707 --> 00:07:03,707
What?
163
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,969
- Who?
- Ugh, that asshole winner,
164
00:07:05,970 --> 00:07:07,547
Heather Kristina Jamie Lee Curtis.
165
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,758
Do you think she had
anything to do with Roxy?
166
00:07:09,839 --> 00:07:11,009
I don't know. Maybe.
167
00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:12,510
Wha... Did you tell the cops?
168
00:07:12,592 --> 00:07:16,052
I can't. The way I got him
to talk wasn't quite legal.
169
00:07:16,137 --> 00:07:18,217
Don't worry. I'll confront
her myself. Drive faster.
170
00:07:18,306 --> 00:07:19,306
Okay.
171
00:07:19,891 --> 00:07:21,811
♪ Yeah, we like to get down ♪
172
00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:23,640
♪ Freak it up to this sound ♪
173
00:07:23,728 --> 00:07:26,358
♪ Like I'm the best ♪
♪ I'm the best in this ♪
174
00:07:50,296 --> 00:07:51,296
Hey, Heather!
175
00:07:53,174 --> 00:07:54,974
Hey, stop! The third runner-up is here.
176
00:07:55,051 --> 00:07:57,011
No, don't stop! She's late.
177
00:07:57,095 --> 00:07:59,555
Drive faster! Faster!
178
00:07:59,639 --> 00:08:01,349
You bitch!
179
00:08:01,432 --> 00:08:03,142
I know what you did!
180
00:08:03,226 --> 00:08:04,846
And I'm gonna take you down! Hard!
181
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:06,690
What are you doing? Go!
182
00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:09,190
She is not going to steal my thunder.
183
00:08:12,652 --> 00:08:15,152
Miss Georgia American Lady just blew up!
184
00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:18,030
Okay, I know that threat sounded bad.
185
00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:19,906
Oh, my God!
186
00:08:19,992 --> 00:08:21,542
I'm Miss Georgia American...
187
00:08:24,038 --> 00:08:25,538
It's a terrorist!
188
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:27,787
Peaches.
189
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,585
No, I don't want to win. I
don't want to be Miss Georgia...
190
00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:33,730
No, it's the Pageant Killer!
191
00:08:34,382 --> 00:08:35,382
It was her!
192
00:08:35,842 --> 00:08:37,552
She killed my daughter!
193
00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:39,135
Patty Bladell killed them all!
194
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:40,720
No.
195
00:08:41,514 --> 00:08:42,514
No!
196
00:08:42,849 --> 00:08:44,229
Back up! Back it up!
197
00:08:44,308 --> 00:08:46,688
I'm gonna call Bob. We'll
get this figured out.
198
00:08:46,769 --> 00:08:47,979
What were the odds?
199
00:08:48,604 --> 00:08:51,404
I got arrested for a
triple homicide I didn't do
200
00:08:51,482 --> 00:08:54,192
after just committing an
actual triple homicide.
201
00:08:55,445 --> 00:08:57,405
The police thought I
was the Pageant Killer.
202
00:08:58,865 --> 00:08:59,865
And why wouldn't they?
203
00:09:00,408 --> 00:09:03,198
Both times girls died, I
ended up with the crown.
204
00:09:03,786 --> 00:09:04,906
Even I wouldn't believe me.
205
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:07,000
But I knew Bob would.
206
00:09:07,081 --> 00:09:09,671
I'm so sorry about what
happened at State, but I promise,
207
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,510
- when you get me out of here...
- I'm sorry.
208
00:09:12,128 --> 00:09:13,338
I can't represent you.
209
00:09:14,213 --> 00:09:16,133
What? Why?
210
00:09:16,215 --> 00:09:17,835
I'm no good for you, Patty.
211
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,635
I've made some bad choices
trying to protect you.
212
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,920
You said it yourself: because
of me you can't be honest.
213
00:09:22,972 --> 00:09:24,432
And now look, you're in here.
214
00:09:24,891 --> 00:09:26,641
Wait, you don't think
I did this, do you?
215
00:09:26,726 --> 00:09:28,136
No, I know you didn't...
216
00:09:28,811 --> 00:09:30,521
which is why I know you'll be okay.
217
00:09:31,439 --> 00:09:33,440
Don't worry. I got you someone else,
218
00:09:33,441 --> 00:09:35,989
the best criminal
attorney money can buy.
219
00:09:43,159 --> 00:09:44,159
Hey, baby.
220
00:09:45,703 --> 00:09:48,293
This is Shannon. She'll
be taking over from here.
221
00:09:48,372 --> 00:09:50,082
She's tried murder cases and I haven't.
222
00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:51,996
Normally, pageant girls
give me the creeps,
223
00:09:52,084 --> 00:09:54,504
but, hey, as long as the check clears.
224
00:09:54,587 --> 00:09:56,087
You do have that check, don't you?
225
00:09:56,172 --> 00:09:59,932
Oh, no, Bob, please. Let
me do this for my daughter.
226
00:10:00,384 --> 00:10:03,934
I've got some money sacked
away in a... in a couple places.
227
00:10:05,681 --> 00:10:07,655
Yeah, I'm going to
need my $10,000 retainer
228
00:10:07,656 --> 00:10:09,441
within 24 hours or I'm gone.
229
00:10:09,519 --> 00:10:12,019
Is that it? No tip on top or anything?
230
00:10:12,104 --> 00:10:14,694
Here's a tip: next
time, don't go so big.
231
00:10:14,899 --> 00:10:17,044
What's your plan? Do you
have a defense strategy?
232
00:10:17,068 --> 00:10:19,698
Yeah, the plan is, I work alone, so...
233
00:10:19,779 --> 00:10:21,159
anywhere but here, Bob.
234
00:10:23,199 --> 00:10:24,329
Right.
235
00:10:25,368 --> 00:10:27,038
Good luck. Call me if you...
236
00:10:27,119 --> 00:10:28,119
We're good.
237
00:10:38,047 --> 00:10:39,547
So, I'm gonna be honest...
238
00:10:40,049 --> 00:10:41,299
This case is a shit show.
239
00:10:41,884 --> 00:10:43,844
They canceled Miss American
Lady because of you,
240
00:10:43,928 --> 00:10:46,888
- and since all those girls died...
- Wait, I'm not going to get the crown?
241
00:10:46,973 --> 00:10:50,483
Well, that's an interesting
take-away. No, psycho, you're not.
242
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:54,190
Plus, you threatened
Heather-six-names before she blew up.
243
00:10:55,314 --> 00:10:59,074
And you were just late enough
to keep yourself off that float.
244
00:11:00,069 --> 00:11:01,609
Why were you late? Where were you?
245
00:11:02,154 --> 00:11:04,454
I was dumping three bodies in Gator Bog.
246
00:11:05,575 --> 00:11:06,575
She was with me.
247
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:10,036
Doing what?
248
00:11:11,539 --> 00:11:12,619
Hanging out.
249
00:11:13,457 --> 00:11:14,787
Mother-daughter time.
250
00:11:15,293 --> 00:11:16,293
Yeah.
251
00:11:17,086 --> 00:11:20,086
Yeah. The mommy defense
isn't gonna cut it,
252
00:11:20,172 --> 00:11:21,632
and without a rock-solid alibi,
253
00:11:21,716 --> 00:11:24,256
we're gonna wait for your
arraignment to get you out on bail.
254
00:11:25,136 --> 00:11:26,176
Bail?
255
00:11:27,305 --> 00:11:28,385
I can't go to jail.
256
00:11:28,848 --> 00:11:30,348
Well, you're in luck.
257
00:11:30,808 --> 00:11:32,438
There's a bedbug outbreak at the jail,
258
00:11:32,518 --> 00:11:34,598
and everyone's being
temporarily transferred.
259
00:11:35,229 --> 00:11:36,559
You're going to prison.
260
00:11:40,568 --> 00:11:43,528
I had to believe I had done
the right thing, for both of us.
261
00:11:44,155 --> 00:11:45,806
Patty would get better representation,
262
00:11:45,807 --> 00:11:47,801
and I could focus on
my mayoral campaign.
263
00:11:47,825 --> 00:11:49,367
Mr. Armstrong, as Miss
Bladell's attorney,
264
00:11:49,368 --> 00:11:50,804
would you care to comment on her case?
265
00:11:50,828 --> 00:11:53,265
- I'm no longer her attorney.
- Because you think she's guilty?
266
00:11:53,289 --> 00:11:55,999
Absolutely not. Miss Bladell
is a victim of circumstance.
267
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:58,923
You're saying it's a coincidence
that both times pageant girls died,
268
00:11:59,003 --> 00:12:00,423
Patty Bladell got the crown?
269
00:12:00,504 --> 00:12:02,764
I'm saying that I know in
my bones that she's innocent.
270
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:03,920
Then why not take her case?
271
00:12:03,966 --> 00:12:05,756
Because I'm busy running for mayor.
272
00:12:06,135 --> 00:12:08,595
Except being associated with
an accused serial murderer
273
00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:10,359
wasn't exactly going
to help me win votes.
274
00:12:14,769 --> 00:12:17,520
Unless I could use my newfound notoriety
275
00:12:17,521 --> 00:12:18,939
as a way to get out my message.
276
00:12:19,023 --> 00:12:21,153
- You guys want a real story?
- Yeah.
277
00:12:21,692 --> 00:12:22,692
Follow me.
278
00:12:25,613 --> 00:12:28,413
- What the hell?
- Right, give me that.
279
00:12:29,659 --> 00:12:30,989
Bob Barnard,
280
00:12:31,077 --> 00:12:33,117
I'm challenging you to a debate...
281
00:12:33,496 --> 00:12:34,496
this weekend.
282
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,287
You've got a lot of
nerve coming in here.
283
00:12:39,377 --> 00:12:41,707
Your client killed my daughter.
284
00:12:41,796 --> 00:12:44,376
That's the problem with you
law and order candidates.
285
00:12:44,465 --> 00:12:47,715
You always want to
convict before the trial.
286
00:12:47,802 --> 00:12:49,682
I think I'm winning this debate already.
287
00:12:52,515 --> 00:12:53,515
You know what?
288
00:12:54,183 --> 00:12:55,853
Fine. I'll do it.
289
00:12:57,019 --> 00:12:58,649
And I'm gonna wipe the floor with you.
290
00:12:59,605 --> 00:13:01,225
I'm a master debater.
291
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:04,607
Why is that funny?
292
00:13:06,195 --> 00:13:07,565
We're not live, are we?
293
00:13:08,322 --> 00:13:11,202
I was in prison for a
crime I didn't commit,
294
00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:12,623
and I still couldn't be honest
295
00:13:13,119 --> 00:13:15,959
because my alibi would
land me right back in here.
296
00:13:16,038 --> 00:13:19,128
So now I was trapped with
a bunch of other criminals,
297
00:13:19,792 --> 00:13:22,462
without food or exercise or Bob.
298
00:13:22,545 --> 00:13:24,585
How the hell was I going to cope?
299
00:13:24,672 --> 00:13:25,672
Patty Bladell.
300
00:13:26,757 --> 00:13:28,087
My queen.
301
00:13:28,551 --> 00:13:30,761
Scram, ladies. We need this space.
302
00:13:31,470 --> 00:13:33,180
What makes her so special?
303
00:13:34,223 --> 00:13:35,223
Who are you?
304
00:13:35,307 --> 00:13:38,727
I'm Warden Winters, and
boy, am I happy to meet you.
305
00:13:38,811 --> 00:13:42,571
My lady inmates have won every prison
competition that they've entered:
306
00:13:42,648 --> 00:13:46,148
hula dancing, sloppy-joe
eating, thumb wrestling.
307
00:13:46,652 --> 00:13:49,362
Only one competition
that's ever eluded me:
308
00:13:49,989 --> 00:13:54,159
the National Prison Coalition's
Misguided Beauty Competition.
309
00:13:55,161 --> 00:13:56,881
It's the beauty pageant
for female convicts.
310
00:13:56,954 --> 00:14:00,214
For 15 straight years, I sent a
lady over there to represent us,
311
00:14:00,291 --> 00:14:02,461
and for 15 straight
years, we don't even place.
312
00:14:03,335 --> 00:14:05,665
But now I have you.
313
00:14:05,755 --> 00:14:08,005
You... You want me to compete?
314
00:14:08,090 --> 00:14:10,800
No, you could be gone by
then, released out on bail.
315
00:14:10,885 --> 00:14:13,505
So, you're gonna do the next best thing:
316
00:14:15,097 --> 00:14:16,717
choose our winning pageant girl.
317
00:14:17,308 --> 00:14:20,018
Now, here are the girls that
I think have the best shot.
318
00:14:20,728 --> 00:14:22,898
Maybe this was my way
to get through this...
319
00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:24,770
without food or exercise.
320
00:14:25,357 --> 00:14:27,067
Okay. I'm in.
321
00:14:27,651 --> 00:14:29,821
But you can't pick the
right girl out of a book.
322
00:14:29,904 --> 00:14:31,614
We would need to have a competition.
323
00:14:31,697 --> 00:14:32,867
Competition?
324
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,830
We're gonna have our
very own prison pageant.
325
00:14:37,328 --> 00:14:38,457
I had promised Patty
326
00:14:38,458 --> 00:14:40,748
that I would be there
for her, and right now,
327
00:14:40,831 --> 00:14:43,331
paying her legal bills
was the best I could do.
328
00:14:43,876 --> 00:14:45,996
Dr. Duffy, thanks for coming.
329
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:47,956
I was surprised you still
have the same number.
330
00:14:48,047 --> 00:14:50,217
I live in a cabin in the woods.
331
00:14:50,299 --> 00:14:52,129
I'm not a man that likes change.
332
00:14:52,218 --> 00:14:54,678
- Right.
- You know, the last time that I saw you,
333
00:14:54,762 --> 00:14:57,012
we got a bullet out of
your boyfriend's shoulder.
334
00:14:57,598 --> 00:14:59,558
Gordy, I think. How's he doing?
335
00:14:59,642 --> 00:15:02,772
Dead. Could we just get to the
procedure? I don't have a lot of time.
336
00:15:03,729 --> 00:15:05,979
Look, you weren't real
specific on the phone.
337
00:15:06,065 --> 00:15:07,645
What are we doing here today?
338
00:15:07,733 --> 00:15:10,693
Lipo? Mole removal? Abortion?
339
00:15:10,778 --> 00:15:12,698
Implants. You ever done those before?
340
00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:15,490
No. But I'll remove
anything for a price.
341
00:15:15,574 --> 00:15:16,834
How are you providing payment?
342
00:15:16,909 --> 00:15:18,739
I've got two kilos
of cocaine in my tits.
343
00:15:18,828 --> 00:15:21,002
- I'll give you half a kilo.
- A whole kilo,
344
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:24,580
or you can have it removed
by a more reputable physician.
345
00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:27,877
After which, you'll be
arrested for being a drug mule.
346
00:15:29,338 --> 00:15:31,298
All right. You've got a deal, asshole.
347
00:15:31,841 --> 00:15:34,391
Now that I had challenged
Barnard to a debate,
348
00:15:34,468 --> 00:15:36,178
all I needed was a platform.
349
00:15:36,262 --> 00:15:38,512
Do you like what I've
done with the place?
350
00:15:43,644 --> 00:15:45,524
You know what? This is great.
351
00:15:46,021 --> 00:15:47,401
The less stuff in my space,
352
00:15:47,481 --> 00:15:49,111
the less I'll be distracted.
353
00:15:54,029 --> 00:15:56,029
♪ Oh, I like it a lot ♪
354
00:15:56,115 --> 00:15:57,985
♪ Yeah, wanna see what I got? ♪
355
00:15:58,075 --> 00:16:00,865
- ♪ Oh, I like it a lot ♪
- ♪ I like it ♪
356
00:16:00,953 --> 00:16:01,953
♪ I like it a lot ♪
357
00:16:02,621 --> 00:16:04,081
♪ Wanna see what I got? ♪
358
00:16:04,707 --> 00:16:05,747
♪ Wanna see what I got? ♪
359
00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:09,131
Coralee, do you have
to do that right now?
360
00:16:09,211 --> 00:16:11,631
You can always just
move back to the office.
361
00:16:11,714 --> 00:16:13,424
Oh, shit.
362
00:16:13,507 --> 00:16:15,360
If I was going to get anything done,
363
00:16:15,361 --> 00:16:17,337
duct tape wasn't going to cut it.
364
00:16:17,428 --> 00:16:19,598
I was going to need a bigger blockade.
365
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,720
- Right this way, gentlemen.
- Bob!
366
00:16:22,641 --> 00:16:23,811
What is going on here?
367
00:16:24,727 --> 00:16:26,477
I am building a wall.
368
00:16:26,896 --> 00:16:29,726
On my side, I'm gonna put
my campaign headquarters.
369
00:16:29,815 --> 00:16:32,775
It's a rush job, so
they'll be here all night.
370
00:16:33,569 --> 00:16:34,949
How am I supposed to sleep?
371
00:16:35,029 --> 00:16:37,819
Why am I supposed to care?
You could just move out.
372
00:16:37,907 --> 00:16:40,527
Actually, no, I can't.
I spoke to my attorney,
373
00:16:40,618 --> 00:16:43,578
and she said that if I leave,
I lose my rights to the house.
374
00:16:43,662 --> 00:16:46,212
Well, I see that you are in a pickle.
375
00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:50,000
Now, if you'll excuse me, I do
have some paint samples to look at.
376
00:16:56,717 --> 00:16:59,677
Oh, now, that's what I'm talking
about. Let's shoot a magic video.
377
00:17:01,764 --> 00:17:05,184
If I wear this, I will seriously
set back feminism 25 years.
378
00:17:05,267 --> 00:17:08,097
The sexy assistant is an
age-old magic tradition. Here...
379
00:17:08,854 --> 00:17:09,854
Pick a card.
380
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:13,399
- You got it?
- Mm-hmm.
381
00:17:17,071 --> 00:17:18,071
Is this your card?
382
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:19,405
No.
383
00:17:20,366 --> 00:17:23,076
Did you want me to pick the
seven of clubs in the first place?
384
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,080
Yes.
385
00:17:24,088 --> 00:17:26,908
Because you have a second
seven of clubs in your deck?
386
00:17:27,498 --> 00:17:29,628
- How did you know that?
- Because I'm not an idiot.
387
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,540
Here, give them to me.
388
00:17:32,795 --> 00:17:34,505
Pick a card.
389
00:17:36,131 --> 00:17:37,261
Got it?
390
00:17:37,341 --> 00:17:38,341
Yeah.
391
00:17:42,221 --> 00:17:43,311
Give it a little tap.
392
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:46,602
Is this your card?
393
00:17:46,684 --> 00:17:48,234
Wow, you're a natural.
394
00:17:48,310 --> 00:17:49,810
Maybe you should do the tricks.
395
00:17:49,895 --> 00:17:50,895
Maybe.
396
00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:53,360
But you know what that means.
397
00:17:54,650 --> 00:17:57,947
- How do I look?
- Ohh!
398
00:17:58,487 --> 00:17:59,607
Honestly,
399
00:18:00,239 --> 00:18:01,319
it looks better on you.
400
00:18:03,575 --> 00:18:05,615
Thank you for agreeing to participate
401
00:18:05,703 --> 00:18:08,503
in the first annual Miss
Pretty in Prison competition.
402
00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:09,830
If I pick you as the winner,
403
00:18:09,915 --> 00:18:12,325
you will be excused from a
week's worth of prison chores
404
00:18:12,418 --> 00:18:16,708
and you will go on to the national
Misguided Beauty Competition
405
00:18:16,797 --> 00:18:19,467
in Billings, Montana, next month. Yay.
406
00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:20,880
What makes you judge and jury?
407
00:18:20,968 --> 00:18:23,798
Well, I just competed in
Miss Georgia American Lady.
408
00:18:23,887 --> 00:18:27,097
That's why you look familiar.
I saw you on the news.
409
00:18:27,182 --> 00:18:29,022
You blew up all those pageant girls.
410
00:18:29,101 --> 00:18:31,691
- No, I didn't. I promise.
- Yeah, we're all innocent.
411
00:18:31,770 --> 00:18:32,940
I didn't do shit.
412
00:18:33,022 --> 00:18:34,402
Okay, here's the deal.
413
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,081
The pageant will consist of three parts:
414
00:18:36,108 --> 00:18:37,818
gowns, which you all make,
415
00:18:37,901 --> 00:18:39,861
a talent portion, and
then an interview question.
416
00:18:39,945 --> 00:18:41,655
Question? What kind of question?
417
00:18:41,739 --> 00:18:43,449
Are you a narc? Like Krystal?
418
00:18:44,158 --> 00:18:45,448
Bitch, I ain't no narc!
419
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,240
No. Oh...
420
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,580
Knock it off, skank!
She's trying to help us.
421
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,750
Yeah, let's skip the question,
422
00:18:52,833 --> 00:18:55,543
and everyone go get your
supplies to show me your talent,
423
00:18:55,627 --> 00:18:56,707
and we'll meet back here.
424
00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:04,050
The girls seemed excited.
425
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,560
And I didn't even really want to eat.
426
00:19:06,638 --> 00:19:09,178
Was it because I had found
some sense of purpose?
427
00:19:09,266 --> 00:19:11,016
Maybe this was all gonna work out.
428
00:19:11,643 --> 00:19:12,643
Jesus!
429
00:19:12,686 --> 00:19:14,606
Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.
430
00:19:15,314 --> 00:19:16,574
I know your coach.
431
00:19:16,648 --> 00:19:18,898
He gave me a makeover a few months ago.
432
00:19:18,984 --> 00:19:20,114
Best day of my life.
433
00:19:21,153 --> 00:19:23,163
- Thanks for sharing.
- No prob.
434
00:19:23,655 --> 00:19:26,235
I just wanted to say it
was awesome to meet you,
435
00:19:26,325 --> 00:19:29,115
and, uh, you better pick
me, or I will kill you.
436
00:19:29,203 --> 00:19:30,253
Wait, what?
437
00:19:33,248 --> 00:19:36,878
And, just so we're clear, that
time I totally meant to scare you.
438
00:19:40,422 --> 00:19:41,722
It's simple.
439
00:19:41,799 --> 00:19:44,049
I win or you die.
440
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,595
- Yo, bitch.
- Ah!
441
00:19:46,678 --> 00:19:49,115
- How long have you been under there?
- Don't worry about that.
442
00:19:49,139 --> 00:19:52,269
You just worry about making me the
winner, or else you'll wake up dead.
443
00:19:56,063 --> 00:19:57,733
Oh, God. Not you too.
444
00:19:57,815 --> 00:19:59,145
Not me what, dear?
445
00:19:59,233 --> 00:20:03,363
I just wanted to thank you
for giving me this opportunity.
446
00:20:03,445 --> 00:20:04,695
Sure. Of course.
447
00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:06,280
And if you don't pick me,
448
00:20:06,365 --> 00:20:09,155
I will gut you like
the tragic fish you are.
449
00:20:11,078 --> 00:20:12,078
Toodles.
450
00:20:12,663 --> 00:20:15,463
Eating and over-exercise
were dangerous enough.
451
00:20:15,541 --> 00:20:17,461
Now this could kill me too.
452
00:20:17,543 --> 00:20:19,923
Maybe it was time to try
a bit of honesty after all.
453
00:20:20,712 --> 00:20:22,740
Every single one of you
has threatened to kill me
454
00:20:22,741 --> 00:20:23,775
if I don't pick you to win.
455
00:20:23,799 --> 00:20:26,339
Seriously? Copycat bitches.
456
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:29,386
Which means there's
only one way out of this.
457
00:20:29,471 --> 00:20:30,931
- You die?
- No.
458
00:20:32,057 --> 00:20:33,807
We need to have an honest pageant.
459
00:20:34,351 --> 00:20:37,021
If any one of you wins because
you threatened me, it's cheating.
460
00:20:37,104 --> 00:20:39,824
- You think we care? We're criminals.
- You should care.
461
00:20:39,898 --> 00:20:41,818
Take it from someone who knows.
462
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,280
Last two pageants I won
463
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:46,070
because someone else got
disqualified or murdered.
464
00:20:46,655 --> 00:20:49,275
It felt like crap knowing
I didn't deserve the win.
465
00:20:50,075 --> 00:20:53,285
So here's my pitch: I'll
coach all of you, for real,
466
00:20:53,662 --> 00:20:55,912
and whoever is the best,
467
00:20:56,415 --> 00:20:57,455
that'll be the honest win.
468
00:20:57,499 --> 00:21:01,669
What, are we all in high
school? What's next? Trust falls?
469
00:21:01,753 --> 00:21:03,763
I tuned out after "honest pageant."
470
00:21:03,839 --> 00:21:05,919
I'm gonna kill you
just for suggesting it.
471
00:21:06,008 --> 00:21:07,008
Wait!
472
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:08,467
Maybe Patty's right.
473
00:21:09,052 --> 00:21:11,562
Maybe none of us can
ever really be honest
474
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:13,678
about who we are or what we've done,
475
00:21:13,765 --> 00:21:17,055
but right here, right now,
we can have an honest win.
476
00:21:18,103 --> 00:21:20,443
Plus, you all know you
weren't really gonna kill her.
477
00:21:20,522 --> 00:21:22,822
I'm a hacker, Tanya's a money launderer,
478
00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:26,400
Krystal's a prostitute, and
Summer's also a prostitute.
479
00:21:27,613 --> 00:21:28,613
None of us are murderers.
480
00:21:28,697 --> 00:21:29,947
Except me.
481
00:21:30,032 --> 00:21:31,032
Except her.
482
00:21:37,039 --> 00:21:38,419
Wait.
483
00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:40,498
Was this a place I could tell the truth?
484
00:21:41,084 --> 00:21:43,004
That's right. I am.
485
00:21:45,631 --> 00:21:47,381
So you better not mess with me.
486
00:21:48,383 --> 00:21:49,383
Who's in?
487
00:21:56,892 --> 00:21:59,022
Now that my campaign
headquarters was handled,
488
00:21:59,102 --> 00:22:00,732
I could focus on my platform.
489
00:22:00,812 --> 00:22:03,942
Maybe choosing an outfit for
the debate would inspire me.
490
00:22:04,733 --> 00:22:06,943
What the hell?
491
00:22:35,389 --> 00:22:37,099
My talent is lock-picking.
492
00:23:01,915 --> 00:23:04,115
Yeah, that's so
pretty. Is that an accent color?
493
00:23:04,167 --> 00:23:05,167
Yeah.
494
00:23:06,378 --> 00:23:07,748
Shelby,
495
00:23:07,838 --> 00:23:09,918
you might want to go
with a more festive color.
496
00:23:10,632 --> 00:23:12,762
But doody-brown is my spirit color.
497
00:23:12,843 --> 00:23:14,923
I don't even know what that
means, but I support you.
498
00:23:22,102 --> 00:23:23,152
Uh...
499
00:23:23,228 --> 00:23:24,398
Why are you walking like...
500
00:23:24,938 --> 00:23:26,568
What's going on with your butt? Relax.
501
00:23:35,699 --> 00:23:37,949
Patty Bladell, you have a visitor.
502
00:23:38,035 --> 00:23:39,834
- Thank God.
- Great news.
503
00:23:39,911 --> 00:23:41,581
- You're getting me out of here?
- No,
504
00:23:41,663 --> 00:23:44,003
but way to make my great
news sound just sorta good.
505
00:23:44,082 --> 00:23:46,882
The police found security footage
of a suspect planting the bomb.
506
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,104
Then they can see it's not me?
507
00:23:48,128 --> 00:23:50,008
- That is great news.
- Wait for it, Tinkerbell.
508
00:23:50,047 --> 00:23:51,858
The footage is so grainy,
they can't see who it is.
509
00:23:51,882 --> 00:23:55,342
Man, woman, non-binary,
gender-fluid... Who knows?
510
00:23:55,427 --> 00:23:57,387
But there is a timestamp,
511
00:23:57,471 --> 00:24:00,181
which means you need
an alibi for 10:00 p.m.
512
00:24:00,766 --> 00:24:04,306
Someone who didn't squeeze you
out of their uterus. Thoughts?
513
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,690
My boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend.
514
00:24:07,773 --> 00:24:09,983
He came by the house
right around 10:00 p.m.
515
00:24:10,067 --> 00:24:11,667
I can call him. Can I borrow your phone?
516
00:24:11,693 --> 00:24:13,743
You can remember people's numbers?
517
00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:16,299
I can't even remember the name
of the guy I screwed last night.
518
00:24:17,532 --> 00:24:18,582
This is Henry.
519
00:24:18,658 --> 00:24:20,038
Hey, it's Patty.
520
00:24:28,377 --> 00:24:30,377
The caller has blocked this number.
521
00:24:35,592 --> 00:24:37,392
I take it things didn't end well?
522
00:24:38,053 --> 00:24:39,053
No.
523
00:24:40,764 --> 00:24:43,894
All right. Look, I'll go talk
to him. What's his address?
524
00:24:44,393 --> 00:24:46,403
Uh, yeah, that's the problem.
525
00:24:47,062 --> 00:24:48,812
He moved back to
Minnesota with his family.
526
00:24:48,897 --> 00:24:50,357
I've no idea where.
527
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,690
And Henry Lee is kind of a common name.
528
00:24:53,026 --> 00:24:54,356
Any other info that might help?
529
00:24:54,444 --> 00:24:58,451
He's pre-law, pre-med, and a stripper.
530
00:24:58,532 --> 00:25:00,742
Wow. You really screwed
the pooch on this one, huh?
531
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,249
He has a sister, Dixie.
She owns the Wiener Taco.
532
00:25:04,788 --> 00:25:06,868
Dixie Sinclair? I know her.
533
00:25:07,582 --> 00:25:09,292
All right. Don't worry.
534
00:25:09,376 --> 00:25:10,416
I will get this done.
535
00:25:11,628 --> 00:25:12,948
Angie!
536
00:25:13,213 --> 00:25:14,213
Angie!
537
00:25:14,297 --> 00:25:15,417
Angie! Hi.
538
00:25:15,507 --> 00:25:16,717
What the hell happened?
539
00:25:17,050 --> 00:25:19,140
Oh, Nonnie.
540
00:25:19,219 --> 00:25:20,679
A funny story...
541
00:25:20,762 --> 00:25:22,352
Oh, no. Did you relapse?
542
00:25:22,431 --> 00:25:24,471
No. No!
543
00:25:24,808 --> 00:25:28,058
I'm just coming off the AnaConDa...
544
00:25:28,603 --> 00:25:31,023
ana... stevia.
545
00:25:31,106 --> 00:25:32,816
I got my implants removed.
546
00:25:32,899 --> 00:25:34,859
You're doing this while
your daughter's in prison?
547
00:25:34,943 --> 00:25:37,453
I'm trying to get her out.
548
00:25:37,821 --> 00:25:39,821
My boobs were full of cock.
549
00:25:40,490 --> 00:25:42,410
Cocaine. Look.
550
00:25:44,411 --> 00:25:46,121
Oh... Why did you call me here, Angie?
551
00:25:46,204 --> 00:25:49,674
As a future law enforcement
officer, I can't know this.
552
00:25:49,749 --> 00:25:52,089
Oh, honey. No, it's
fine. I need your help.
553
00:25:52,836 --> 00:25:55,166
Your dad, he has connections
554
00:25:55,255 --> 00:25:56,465
to drug dealers,
555
00:25:57,424 --> 00:26:01,264
and they can smell it, sell it,
and then I can pay her lawyer.
556
00:26:04,848 --> 00:26:07,978
Coralee messed with my
most prized possession,
557
00:26:08,059 --> 00:26:11,059
so I was gonna destroy hers.
558
00:26:14,441 --> 00:26:17,241
Bob! Bob! What have you done?
559
00:26:17,319 --> 00:26:20,569
Maybe you shouldn't have
stolen all of my suits.
560
00:26:20,655 --> 00:26:22,735
I took 'em to the dry
cleaners, you shit.
561
00:26:23,366 --> 00:26:26,576
I didn't tear them to pieces.
562
00:26:26,661 --> 00:26:29,711
Oh, my God. Why would you do
this to me? This is my future.
563
00:26:31,583 --> 00:26:32,883
What is wrong with you?
564
00:26:33,502 --> 00:26:34,854
I'm sorry. I don't... I don't know.
565
00:26:34,878 --> 00:26:35,878
No.
566
00:26:36,713 --> 00:26:37,713
Save your apology.
567
00:26:38,673 --> 00:26:40,093
This is war.
568
00:26:46,181 --> 00:26:48,481
I still don't get why we
had to make that video.
569
00:26:48,558 --> 00:26:50,598
I'll just get my message
out at the debate tomorrow.
570
00:26:51,394 --> 00:26:52,866
It's important to give people an idea
571
00:26:52,867 --> 00:26:54,314
of what you stand for ahead of time,
572
00:26:54,356 --> 00:26:56,626
so they don't think you're
just reacting to your opponent.
573
00:26:56,650 --> 00:26:59,110
- Yeah.
- I'm posting it on ShenaniCam right now.
574
00:26:59,194 --> 00:27:02,284
What, just the raw footage? Shouldn't
we get it professionally edited?
575
00:27:02,364 --> 00:27:04,414
With what funding? It's good.
576
00:27:04,991 --> 00:27:06,871
- Yeah.
- It's gritty,
577
00:27:07,702 --> 00:27:09,002
- relatable.
- Yeah.
578
00:27:09,079 --> 00:27:10,249
And you look hot in it.
579
00:27:10,330 --> 00:27:11,540
- Do I?
- Yeah.
580
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,210
Yes, please.
581
00:27:16,002 --> 00:27:17,462
I'm sorry.
582
00:27:17,546 --> 00:27:19,206
- Sorry.
- Ignore it.
583
00:27:20,298 --> 00:27:21,298
Yeah.
584
00:27:25,595 --> 00:27:29,095
Oh, look, I'm sorry. I gotta...
I gotta go to Coralee's.
585
00:27:29,683 --> 00:27:31,183
She says it's an emergency.
586
00:27:31,268 --> 00:27:34,228
Seriously? I mean, she calls
and you just drop everything?
587
00:27:34,312 --> 00:27:35,812
She's my best friend.
588
00:27:36,189 --> 00:27:37,509
You sure it's not more than that?
589
00:27:39,150 --> 00:27:40,150
Don't be jealous.
590
00:27:40,860 --> 00:27:42,530
I'll be back before you know it.
591
00:27:56,626 --> 00:27:59,416
I won't let you get away, Bob.
592
00:27:59,504 --> 00:28:00,844
Either one of you.
593
00:28:06,303 --> 00:28:08,353
Ladies! Ladies!
594
00:28:09,306 --> 00:28:10,676
Good evening, ladies and guards.
595
00:28:11,141 --> 00:28:14,021
Welcome to the first ever
Waters Correctional Facility's
596
00:28:14,102 --> 00:28:16,442
Pretty in Prison Beauty Pageant.
597
00:28:20,358 --> 00:28:25,358
And now welcome to the stage the
beguiling and beautiful Miss Krystal.
598
00:28:25,447 --> 00:28:27,122
♪ Remember that gooey gooey you took ♪
599
00:28:27,123 --> 00:28:28,123
♪ And said, "Ooh wee, ooh wee" ♪
600
00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:30,744
♪ I need two or two-eee of these
for my baby boo-ee ooo-ee ♪
601
00:28:30,827 --> 00:28:33,139
♪ Talking like boobies ♪
♪ You got a nice pair like some... ♪
602
00:28:33,163 --> 00:28:36,173
♪ And you high off that doobie
doobie with your Mystery Machine ♪
603
00:28:36,249 --> 00:28:37,999
Miss Tanya.
604
00:28:38,710 --> 00:28:41,000
♪ Hanging with them creepy creepies... ♪
605
00:28:41,087 --> 00:28:44,417
♪ Lookin' holy holy while looking
through them holy holies ♪
606
00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:48,510
♪ Batches and cookies I got
my batches and cookies ♪
607
00:28:48,928 --> 00:28:50,968
For a moment, we all got to escape.
608
00:28:51,681 --> 00:28:53,351
I got to be honest.
609
00:28:53,433 --> 00:28:54,893
They got to feel pretty in prison.
610
00:28:54,976 --> 00:28:56,386
Miss Cindy.
611
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,020
Miss Navi.
612
00:29:00,148 --> 00:29:03,068
Maybe I could find freedom
behind bars after all.
613
00:29:03,151 --> 00:29:04,151
Miss Summer.
614
00:29:11,159 --> 00:29:16,209
And last but not least, the
audacious and enchanting Miss Shelby.
615
00:29:21,628 --> 00:29:23,128
Miss Shelby?
616
00:29:26,508 --> 00:29:28,048
- Night, Marty.
- See ya.
617
00:29:32,097 --> 00:29:34,017
She's gone. Sound the alarm!
618
00:29:43,358 --> 00:29:46,438
So much for the truth
setting me free. Shelby lied.
619
00:29:46,528 --> 00:29:47,948
You help Shelby escape!
620
00:29:48,488 --> 00:29:51,698
All that "let's have an
honest pageant win" was crap!
621
00:29:51,783 --> 00:29:53,583
No, no, it wasn't. I... I promise.
622
00:29:53,660 --> 00:29:56,910
If we all kill you together, they
can't throw any of us in the hole.
623
00:29:58,206 --> 00:29:59,206
What's the hole?
624
00:29:59,582 --> 00:30:00,582
Where you're going.
625
00:30:00,959 --> 00:30:03,879
- I should have never trusted you.
- Lock her up.
626
00:30:04,379 --> 00:30:07,509
I didn't do... I didn't know she was...
627
00:30:07,590 --> 00:30:11,300
Lock her up!
628
00:30:12,846 --> 00:30:14,386
This was harder than I thought.
629
00:30:14,472 --> 00:30:16,312
Why couldn't I just
come up with a platform?
630
00:30:20,478 --> 00:30:21,478
- Hey.
- Hey.
631
00:30:24,107 --> 00:30:25,227
Barnard.
632
00:30:26,317 --> 00:30:27,397
Nice wall.
633
00:30:27,861 --> 00:30:30,411
We're gonna go upstairs
and prep for his debate.
634
00:30:36,369 --> 00:30:37,999
Maybe I needed a snack.
635
00:30:39,038 --> 00:30:40,958
Let's see. My platform.
636
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,130
What did I want from Masonville?
637
00:30:43,209 --> 00:30:46,589
Designer outlets?
Haberdashery? Bathhouse?
638
00:30:46,671 --> 00:30:47,898
Coralee!
639
00:30:47,922 --> 00:30:49,262
Oh, Bob!
640
00:30:50,133 --> 00:30:51,433
Take off my bra!
641
00:30:51,509 --> 00:30:53,219
I am! I'm gonna take it off!
642
00:30:53,303 --> 00:30:54,553
Bob! Oh, yes!
643
00:30:54,637 --> 00:30:57,137
Somebody's being a bad girl!
644
00:30:57,223 --> 00:30:59,103
It's me. Get it, Bob. Get it.
645
00:30:59,184 --> 00:31:01,354
Here you go. See, isn't this fun?
646
00:31:01,853 --> 00:31:04,863
I can't believe I'm doing this. I
should be focusing on the debate.
647
00:31:04,939 --> 00:31:07,979
Doing this is helping you too,
okay? We're messing with his head.
648
00:31:08,067 --> 00:31:10,647
- Oh, Coralee!
- Back door, no babies!
649
00:31:11,112 --> 00:31:12,782
That feels so good!
650
00:31:12,864 --> 00:31:14,914
- Whoo!
- Coralee!
651
00:31:15,533 --> 00:31:18,043
Coralee, I love you! I love you!
652
00:31:18,119 --> 00:31:20,409
I love you and your penis.
653
00:31:20,497 --> 00:31:23,877
Oh, I love it when you
touch me there in that spot.
654
00:31:25,043 --> 00:31:27,383
- Shit. Coralee?
- What the fuck?
655
00:31:28,588 --> 00:31:31,548
Are you all right? Oh,
no. You're bleeding.
656
00:31:31,633 --> 00:31:32,763
- I am?
- Yeah.
657
00:31:32,842 --> 00:31:35,052
- I faint at the sight of blood.
- You do?
658
00:31:35,136 --> 00:31:37,136
What in the hell is going on?!
659
00:31:37,222 --> 00:31:38,892
Wait. You guys were faking?
660
00:31:38,973 --> 00:31:40,183
No, Bob, leave!
661
00:31:40,266 --> 00:31:43,516
Because Barnard's gonna faint, and
Bob faints at the sight of fainting.
662
00:31:43,603 --> 00:31:45,193
No, that was just that one time...
663
00:31:48,191 --> 00:31:51,651
Ugh, men are useless.
664
00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:00,250
I had been in here for hours,
but it felt like a month.
665
00:32:00,328 --> 00:32:02,538
All I wanted to do was eat.
666
00:32:02,622 --> 00:32:05,462
At least here in solitary
I was safe from those girls.
667
00:32:05,542 --> 00:32:06,822
You're not safe from me.
668
00:32:09,212 --> 00:32:10,802
What the hell?
669
00:32:11,714 --> 00:32:13,094
You'll never be safe.
670
00:32:13,174 --> 00:32:15,554
Not until you can be
honest with yourself.
671
00:32:15,635 --> 00:32:16,715
What are you talking about?
672
00:32:16,803 --> 00:32:20,223
Of course, I'm honest with myself.
I know everything I've done.
673
00:32:21,808 --> 00:32:22,808
But do you know why?
674
00:32:22,892 --> 00:32:25,062
I killed Christian to protect Magnolia.
675
00:32:25,478 --> 00:32:28,018
I threw those bodies in
Gator Bog to protect my mom.
676
00:32:28,106 --> 00:32:29,106
If you still think that,
677
00:32:29,148 --> 00:32:30,978
you're not being honest
with yourself at all.
678
00:32:32,944 --> 00:32:33,944
What do you mean?
679
00:32:39,325 --> 00:32:40,785
Today's your lucky day.
680
00:32:40,869 --> 00:32:43,579
Your alibi came through, and
we're dropping the Shelby thing.
681
00:32:43,663 --> 00:32:45,793
Your lawyer's scary as fuck.
682
00:32:45,874 --> 00:32:48,084
So good luck at Miss American Lady.
683
00:32:48,418 --> 00:32:49,498
It's back on?
684
00:32:49,586 --> 00:32:51,746
Oh, right. You haven't seen the news.
685
00:32:51,838 --> 00:32:53,998
I guess people want to see
if another girl gets killed.
686
00:32:54,757 --> 00:32:56,377
Let's process you and get you out.
687
00:32:56,759 --> 00:32:58,339
I was finally getting out.
688
00:32:58,845 --> 00:33:00,805
So why didn't I feel free?
689
00:33:01,639 --> 00:33:03,219
Was Bloody Patty right?
690
00:33:03,308 --> 00:33:05,478
Was there something I
was hiding from myself?
691
00:33:06,686 --> 00:33:08,606
You're a good friend, Nonnie.
692
00:33:08,688 --> 00:33:10,648
To Patty and to me.
693
00:33:10,732 --> 00:33:13,322
I'm just... I'm sorry you
had to compromise your morals.
694
00:33:13,401 --> 00:33:14,903
Oh, I didn't.
695
00:33:14,904 --> 00:33:17,411
The second we made the drop,
I called in an anonymous tip.
696
00:33:17,864 --> 00:33:19,664
Oh, shit. Girl, you really are a cop.
697
00:33:24,662 --> 00:33:26,622
Patty's getting out!
Patty's getting out!
698
00:33:28,249 --> 00:33:29,249
Oh, my God!
699
00:33:29,292 --> 00:33:32,962
And after... Oh, after I pay her
lawyer, I'm gonna have 90 grand left.
700
00:33:33,046 --> 00:33:34,956
I could buy a plane. I
could buy a Ferris wheel.
701
00:33:35,048 --> 00:33:36,588
I could buy a fucking otter farm.
702
00:33:36,674 --> 00:33:39,224
Or, now that Patty's off the hook,
703
00:33:39,302 --> 00:33:41,892
maybe we could all go
to Miss American Lady.
704
00:33:42,430 --> 00:33:44,720
I mean, after the week we've
had, we deserve it, right?
705
00:33:44,807 --> 00:33:45,807
- Yeah.
- Whoo!
706
00:33:47,477 --> 00:33:48,727
Nonnie was right.
707
00:33:48,811 --> 00:33:52,941
I had finally done right by my
daughter. We did deserve a reward.
708
00:33:57,111 --> 00:33:58,361
Thank you!
709
00:34:03,534 --> 00:34:06,064
Some people talk about
draining the swamp.
710
00:34:06,446 --> 00:34:07,656
Well, talk's cheap.
711
00:34:07,747 --> 00:34:12,877
I'm gonna put my money where my
mouth is and drain an actual swamp...
712
00:34:12,961 --> 00:34:14,251
Gator Bog.
713
00:34:14,837 --> 00:34:17,547
And on that land, I'm
gonna build a new jail
714
00:34:17,632 --> 00:34:19,222
'cause the old one has bedbugs.
715
00:34:19,926 --> 00:34:24,176
- Bob Barnard for mayor. I got this.
- No, no, no.
716
00:34:25,765 --> 00:34:29,345
No need for stitches. No
nausea, so no risk of concussion.
717
00:34:29,435 --> 00:34:30,995
And most importantly, the baby is fine.
718
00:34:34,941 --> 00:34:37,532
- Did you not know?
- No, but you know what?
719
00:34:37,610 --> 00:34:40,490
I've always been irregular,
so maybe, you know, I'm just...
720
00:34:40,571 --> 00:34:43,281
According to my calculations,
you're about eight or nine weeks.
721
00:34:48,454 --> 00:34:49,584
Should we call the father?
722
00:34:49,664 --> 00:34:50,964
I got your text.
723
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:52,080
Are you okay?
724
00:34:52,166 --> 00:34:53,166
What did the doctor say?
725
00:34:54,002 --> 00:34:55,962
I'll give you some privacy.
726
00:34:58,006 --> 00:34:59,006
So?
727
00:35:00,842 --> 00:35:02,842
I'm fine. I'm good.
728
00:35:02,927 --> 00:35:04,467
Oh, thank God.
729
00:35:04,554 --> 00:35:07,449
- You want me to give you a ride home?
- I'll give her a ride. I live there.
730
00:35:07,473 --> 00:35:09,824
No. You know what? I'm not
going home with either of you.
731
00:35:09,825 --> 00:35:10,991
I'm fine. I'm staying here.
732
00:35:10,999 --> 00:35:13,350
The doctor wants me to stay
just to keep an eye on me.
733
00:35:13,438 --> 00:35:14,688
You guys go. I'm fine.
734
00:35:15,148 --> 00:35:16,188
Are you sure?
735
00:35:17,358 --> 00:35:18,358
Absolutely.
736
00:35:30,913 --> 00:35:35,293
Patty is out of jail. Totally
innocent. I think you owe me an apology.
737
00:35:35,376 --> 00:35:39,297
Me? You're the one who just
tore up all Coralee's Tampoozles.
738
00:35:39,380 --> 00:35:40,550
Why the hell did you do that?
739
00:35:40,631 --> 00:35:42,852
Why the hell would you pretend
to have sex with Coralee?
740
00:35:42,853 --> 00:35:43,853
Just to get back at me?
741
00:35:43,854 --> 00:35:46,053
Don't you have better
things to worry about?
742
00:35:46,137 --> 00:35:49,767
Oh, like preparing for the debate
tomorrow that you challenged me to?
743
00:35:49,849 --> 00:35:51,994
I had been trying to prepare, hadn't I?
744
00:35:52,018 --> 00:35:53,877
You still running
just to get back at me?
745
00:35:53,878 --> 00:35:55,608
You even care what the issues are?
746
00:35:55,688 --> 00:35:58,398
Of course I cared. So why'd I
let myself get so distracted?
747
00:35:58,483 --> 00:36:00,113
- I care.
- Yeah, sure.
748
00:36:00,860 --> 00:36:03,610
From what I see, all you
care about is building a wall,
749
00:36:03,696 --> 00:36:07,156
tearing up Tampoozles, and
being an asshole to your ex-wife.
750
00:36:07,241 --> 00:36:09,701
Which one of those is your platform?
751
00:36:09,786 --> 00:36:11,865
- You even want to win?
- 'Course I do.
752
00:36:11,954 --> 00:36:14,124
Except I had never won
anything in my life,
753
00:36:14,207 --> 00:36:16,997
and the idea of it
scared the shit out of me.
754
00:36:17,085 --> 00:36:18,835
Was I getting in my own way?
755
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,760
Self-sabotaging because
I was afraid to win?
756
00:36:21,839 --> 00:36:22,969
Bob...
757
00:36:23,966 --> 00:36:25,046
you should just drop out.
758
00:36:25,843 --> 00:36:27,643
I think it'd be best for everyone.
759
00:36:28,179 --> 00:36:31,639
But maybe I wasn't the only
one who was scared I might win.
760
00:36:31,724 --> 00:36:33,314
You're afraid you might lose.
761
00:36:34,727 --> 00:36:37,307
- I am not.
- Of course you are.
762
00:36:37,396 --> 00:36:39,556
If you weren't, you wouldn't
be trying to make me quit.
763
00:36:39,607 --> 00:36:44,027
That is not true. I've never
lost anything in my entire life.
764
00:36:44,112 --> 00:36:45,782
I'll see you at the debate, Bob.
765
00:36:46,656 --> 00:36:47,946
Master debater.
766
00:36:51,327 --> 00:36:52,497
That's not funny!
767
00:36:54,497 --> 00:36:55,497
Knock, knock.
768
00:36:56,666 --> 00:36:59,086
Oh, Detective Cruz. Hi.
769
00:36:59,168 --> 00:37:01,048
I thought you were the discharge nurse.
770
00:37:01,129 --> 00:37:03,769
The hospital actually contacted
me to talk to you before you leave.
771
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,630
Really? Why?
772
00:37:05,716 --> 00:37:08,887
Standard procedure. When a
woman has an accident in the home
773
00:37:08,970 --> 00:37:10,770
that looks like it could
be domestic violence,
774
00:37:10,847 --> 00:37:12,467
I need to make sure everything's okay.
775
00:37:12,557 --> 00:37:14,927
Well, that's good to hear.
776
00:37:15,017 --> 00:37:17,397
I mean, not for me,
but for other people.
777
00:37:18,062 --> 00:37:21,362
I can assure you that this
was just a dumb accident.
778
00:37:22,775 --> 00:37:23,775
Are you pregnant?
779
00:37:24,152 --> 00:37:25,742
Well, that's exciting news.
780
00:37:25,820 --> 00:37:27,740
Congratulations. How far along?
781
00:37:27,822 --> 00:37:29,662
Uh, eight or nine weeks.
782
00:37:30,199 --> 00:37:31,199
Mmm.
783
00:37:32,493 --> 00:37:34,173
Can you do me a favor
and not tell anyone?
784
00:37:34,245 --> 00:37:37,615
I mean, I haven't said
anything to anyone yet, so...
785
00:37:37,707 --> 00:37:39,167
Oh, your secret's safe with me.
786
00:37:41,502 --> 00:37:43,672
Tell you what, what if
I give you a ride home?
787
00:37:45,381 --> 00:37:47,061
Again, sorry to have
to put you back there.
788
00:37:47,133 --> 00:37:48,493
I have all this equipment up here.
789
00:37:48,551 --> 00:37:50,601
Oh, no, it's fine, Detective.
790
00:37:50,678 --> 00:37:54,598
Yeah, it's been a while since I've
been in the back of a police car.
791
00:37:55,391 --> 00:37:56,601
I had a wild youth.
792
00:37:57,101 --> 00:37:58,731
Good for you.
793
00:38:00,021 --> 00:38:01,981
Oh, Detective, you
just passed my street.
794
00:38:03,482 --> 00:38:05,532
Hello? I live back there.
795
00:38:05,610 --> 00:38:07,530
This will go a lot
easier if you stay calm.
796
00:38:07,612 --> 00:38:08,862
What will?
797
00:38:10,364 --> 00:38:11,494
What's happening?
798
00:38:13,492 --> 00:38:14,582
Detective?
799
00:38:15,661 --> 00:38:16,701
Detective!
800
00:38:17,246 --> 00:38:19,366
Stop the car.
801
00:38:20,625 --> 00:38:21,665
Help!
802
00:38:22,877 --> 00:38:23,877
Let me out! No!
803
00:38:24,420 --> 00:38:25,420
No!
804
00:38:26,380 --> 00:38:27,670
Stop the car!
805
00:38:28,216 --> 00:38:30,376
Help! Help!
806
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:37,000
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