All language subtitles for Three.of.Hearts.1993.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC.2.0.H.264-FGT

Picture this.

You're lying on a desefled beach.

The sand is soft.
Sun feels good.

You slip out of your bikini
and just |ie there...

all naked and warm.

Now reach over to that drink beside you
and take out an ice cube,

put it in your mouth...

twirl it around
with your tongue a little bit.

You'd like that.

Now slide it out of your mouth.

Let the cool water run down
all over your lips.

- Take the ice.
- Okay.

Run it down your neck,
across your breast to your nipple.

Oh, to my nipple. Okay.
Oh, it's cold.

It's cold.

Now run it down your stomach,
around your bellybutton.

My stomach? Oh, ooh!

- Then across your hip to your thigh.
- lam. lam. Okay.

Oh, it feels good. Oh, it's wet.

What do I do now?
What do I do now?

Now run it all the way up
the inside of your thigh.

Ohh. Oh, God.
Oh, yes.

- Shit.
- Shit? N0!

Listen, honey, um...

Go grab...go grab
another ice cube, okay?

No!

- Hello?
- Joey.

Hey, Mickey. Hey, listen, Mick,
I'm a little busy right now.

- What, are you on the other line?
- Yeah.

All right. Listen to me.
You got a problem, kid.

Harvey's out of jail,
and he's looking for you.

- Oh, shit. Did you talk to him?
- No, but I'm working on it.

He just got out last night,
and he's really angry.

- Goddammit. What's his problem?
- You're his problem.

This guy still thinks you set him up.

Look, just be careful till I fix it.
This guy's liable to kill you.

- So, what do you got for tonight?
- What is it, Wednesday?

- I got lsabella.
- Oh, bella Isabella.

Look, drop by tomorrow,
we'll have lunch,

we'll straighten this Harvey thing out.

All right. That sounds great.
Hey, listen, thanks for the warning.

Don 't worry about this.
I'll take care of it.

- All right, bye.
- Bye.

- Hello?
- You son of a bitch.

Oh, jeez. Elena,
Elena, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Uh, did you get the ice?

Yeah, and I'd like to pack
your head in it, you prick!

So you're telling me now?
In the park?

Well, I'm sorry. I mean,
|--| just thought it would be better

than having a scene in the apartment.

Or easier for you, because I'd be
too embarrassed to make a scene

in front of the whole
goddamn world, is that it?

No. Connie...

Excuse me, world!

| just want you all to know

that my girlfriend
is tearing my heart out here today,

because she suddenly decided
she needs more space.

Okay?

So would everybody

please give her some more space?

Right, right.
I should've done this in private.

Listen, honey, you could lower
the fucking code of silence,

and it wouldn't matter.

So, what, you dumping me?
I mean, are you dumping me?

No, I'm not. |--| just...
ljust need some time to sort things out.

I don't know--l mean, look,
I've felt this way for a long time.

lguess...l didn't say anything
'cause |--| hoped it would change.

It will. It will change.

Listen, you know,
we--we haven't gotten out of town.

We've got cabin fever.
Let's take a vacation or something.

- Let's go to the Poconos.
- That's not it, Connie.

Is it the wedding?
'Cause forget the wedding!

We don't have to go to their wedding.
My parents will live, you know.

lt's just--l just thought it was a perfect
time to tell them about us, but screw it--

It's not about that!
It's about us!

lt's us!

Look, I don't want to hurt you.

Just please...
please try and understand.

|--|--| have to do his.

I love you.

Please don't do this to me, okay?

l have to.

I need to figure a few things out.

l have to be
away from you to do that.

Where are you gonna go?

- I found an apartment.
- What?

Jesus Christ,
how long you been planning this?

- l have to go.
- No! Ellen, wait!

Oh...wait!

I don't feel pretty,
and I don't feel sexy.

And, uh...| don't feel desirable.

And somehow I think it's...
all my fault,

like I must've done something
real wrong, and--

lsabella, you're wrong.

Don't you see he did this to you?
You know you're beautiful and sexy.

lt's, um...

just that I'm afraid
that I'm not gonna have...

you know, those--those feelings.

- Close your eyes.
- Why?

Just do it. Trust me.

Do you remember
your first boyfriend?

Your first lover?

Do you?

Yes.

Exploring one another's bodies,

skin against skin,
kissing each other...

forever and ever.

Do you remember
how that made you feel?

Yes.

You still have all those feelings.

Ohh.

God, it's just been so long
since anyone's touched me.

I wanna touch you.

So we're back at her place,

I'm on top of her,
the bed's rocking like a horse,

her tits are whackin' me
on the side ofthe head,

all of a sudden,
the light flicks on.

I turn around
and guess who's standing there

with my pants in his hands, huh?

Her husband.

Yeah, her husband.
How'd you know that?

Shit. You didn't know
she had a husband?

Yeah--no. No, I didn't know
she had a husband!

So I'm standing there,
scrambling for my shoes,

lturn around, and she's yelling,

"Irv, Irv," that was his name,
"Today's Wednesday."

"What are you doing here?"

Joey, how many times
I gotta tell you, right?

The first thing you do
when you go in the apartment

is you look at the pictures,
the wedding pictures on the wall.

That's how you know
if she's married.

How do you stay so fucking trim?
Look at you.

- I'm getting fat as a house.
- You gotta stop eating this crap.

Do me a favor. Take this shit.
I don't want it.

I'm going on a diet right now.
So, what's the punch line?

What's the punch line?
There's no punch line. It's not a joke.

- What?
- The money from lsabella.

No, I didn't get the money.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.

I didn't get the money.
l was on top--

What do | tell you, Joey?
What do | tell you?

Get the money first!
Jesus Christ.

You mind me asking you one thing?
How am I supposed to do that?

ltell you all the time,
get the money first.

You gotta get the money first.
Jesus Christ!

You're going to give yourself
a fucking heart attack.

That's right. You say it after me.
That's right.

I didn't wear any panties.

Oh, come on.
You can tell me more.

What the hell is this crap?

Don't start with me,
I'm not in the mood.

Sounds delicious.

You love that, don't you?
Come on, baby.

What the hell are you doing?
Christ almighty.

- Do it again, baby.
- A really big one.

Joey...

That's right.

- How are we doing here, huh?
- Harder, baby.

Harder, baby.
Ohh. Oh, it's too big.

Oh, baby. It's too big.

- Oh, it hurts. Oh, oh, baby.
- Joey.

You are so good! Oh, you are!

- Hey, what's up?
- Are you cheating me?

What?

Are you cheating me?

'Cause if you were cheating me,
that would hurt me...very bad.

Considering that I'm the guy that's gonna
straighten out this mess with Harvey.

You remember Harvey.

He's the guy who
thinks you went to the cops

and sent him away for 18 months.

Look, you know I had nothing
to do with that, Mickey, all right?

What's this cheating?
|--| wouldn't rip you off.

I know.

And I'm sure you appreciate
everything I've done for you.

l polished you like a diamond
so you could sparkle

for all those rich bitches
on Park Avenue.

Look, I appreciate
what you've done, okay?

It won't happen again.
You were right. I'm wrong.

It won't happen again, okay?
I promise.

All right. Hey.

I'm just checking.

All right.

So what's up for tonight?
You got something for me?

It's a good space.
It feels good, doesn't it?

Yes, it feels great.

It reminds me ofthat movie,

that movie with the Puerto Rican girl
and the industrialist,

off-the-shoulder sweatshirt.

- What was that?
- Flashdance.

That's right.

You know, Ellen,
it's very architectural.

- You hate it.
- I don't hate it.

It's okay.
It's not west port, but what is?

Don't be nasty.

You know, you just sounded
like mom when you said that.

"Girls, good manners
are the backbone of society."

Ellen?
Ellen, are you there?

This is so weird.
Honey, please pick up.

[need to talk to you, okay?

[love you.

ljust think it's better
if we don't talk for a while.

I think that's a good idea.

Does this need light?

I can never remember if it's...

a lot of light and a little water
or a little light and a lot of water.

Either way, I'll probably kill it.

We've never really
talked about this before, but--

lt's okay...you know, I really
appreciate everything, but I'm fine.

Well, not fine, but I'm here.

I'm about to humiliate myself

in front of a class
full of English majors,

but I'm--
I'm moving forward, right?

Ellen, I care about you.
I'm your sister.

I'm not just some bitch
from Connecticut.

- I love you.
- I know.

I understand about this homosexual--
bisexual--whatever thing, okay?

- No, you don't understand.
- Yes, I do!

I wasn't with Connie because--

Look, it's not like I was trying
a new perm or something.

She took advantage of you.
You were weak.

You were an emotional mess.
I remember. l was there.

Connie just swooped in
and took control.

That is bullshit, okay?
Connie loved me, and I loved her.

Get it!
Connie helped me, Allison.

She...

Look, let's just forget it, okay?
I don't--

Let's not talk about
what you don't understand.

Okay. I'm sorry.

Besides, I decided no dating,

no more relationships, nothing.

- It'll be fun, just go.
- No.

No, it won't be fun.
It'll be the complete opposite of fun.

- It'll be a living hell.
- lt'sjust a wedding.

Lorenzo, please.

My younger sister's getting married
in front of half of Krakow.

- You ever been to a Polish wedding?
- I've been to Baptist weddings.

Look, family is weird shit, you know?

But you survive it.
That's the thing about family.

They're expecting--
I promised them something.

Oh, what?

Well, you know, the whole family's
gonna be there, so |--|...

I told them
that l was gonna bring my fiance.

It was gonna be my big moment, Ralph.
l was gonna come out.

l was gonna stand
in front of everybody and say,

"This is the beautiful girl
I'm in love with."

Open.

I wanted them to see
me and Ellen together.

I can't do this alone.

- You mean, they don't know about you?
- They're old-world Polacks.

My father looks at me and sees
an aging nurse without her doctor.

Blow it off. Say you're sick.

My...my mother is such a--

you know, if I was on life-support,
my mother would rip out the |.V.

and drag me to the church.

- Hey...why don't you do it?
- Connie, wake up.

Your family would shit if you
brought home a Black man.

- Don't you know any other guys?
- What, like, normal guys?

I don't know. How about, uh...
well, there's Mr. Goodwrench.

How about the Allstate agent?
Perhaps the Ty-D-Bol Man.

- I know.
- Wait.

Why don't you rent a guy?

Hire a male escort.

Hey.

How are ya? l'm Joe Casella.

l'm Connie.
I'll be with you in a sec.

- Nice place you got here.
- Thanks.

- You look great.
- Yeah?

Yeah.
I like the, uh...the leather.

Looks good?

I don't think so.

Oh,yeah. Um...

Before I forget, uh...

there's a little financial matter
we need to discuss.

You know, I don't mean
to rush you, but, uh...

l gotta--l gotta get paid up front.

- Yeah?
- You know, before.

Before what?

Whatever you like.

Yeah, right.

Could you take my keys?

Don't say a word,
especially to my mother.

Just do what I tell you
and follow my lead.

Got it?

Got it.

Who is she with?

Weirdo.

From high school.
The high school weirdo.

He gives me the creeps.

You have a lovely family.
Thanks for having me.

- Now we do the best part.
- The reception.

I need the bridesmaids a little closer.
A little closer.

Hey, fellas, come on,
this is not the time to smoke.

You know,
we're trying to take a picture.

Oh, you're taking a picture?

Joe, my mama
wants you in the picture.

Oh, you want me--
you want me in the photograph?

I want you for photograph.
Where did you meet him?

What difference does it make, mama?

Well, actually,
we met at a museum.

And when I turned and I saw
your beautiful daughter standing there...

And then when she told me
she was Polish, forget it.

It was love at first sight.

'Cause, you know,
I'm part Polish, too.

- Ah, you Polish?
- You didn't know?

Oh, you're my son!

W-w-wait just a sec.

Connie, too bad you brought
Mr. Attitude here with you.

I mean, you and me,
we could've had some fun, you know?

What is that? "I'm part Polish."
What is that, you know?

Get your hands off me.

- Hey.
- What?

We got a problem here, huh?
Excuse me?

- No--no problem.
- Say you're sorry.

- Say you're sorry.
- I'm sorry.

Just one second.
Padre, can we get a little smile?

It's a happy occasion.

All right, I'm going.

Get over here.
We're taking a picture.

Okay, everybody looks nice.
Everyone, look this way.

Everyone, this way.

One...two...three!

Nice! Very nice!

Thank you.

Girl, girl, girl,
you gotta make up your mind

Make up your mind

Girl, girl, girl

You gotta make up your mind,
make up your mind

Girl, girl, girl

You gotta make up your mind,
make up your mind

Ahh, ahh, ahh...

Hi. It's Ellen. Please leave a message,
and I'll return the call. Thanks.

Hey.

Play the samba for me.

Catch it!

No!

Kiss her!

Kiss her! Kiss her!

Kiss her! Kiss her!

Kiss her!

Ah, but my heart
belongs to someone else

How could I be so bold?

That was some kiss.

Yeah, well, we, uh...
still got a couple hours left.

- Anything else you might want to do?
- I don't know.

What do you have in mind?

Anything you want.

How do you feel about two women?

Sounds great.
The more the merrier.

Sure you can handle it?

There's only one way to find out.

I didn't hire you
for the reasons you think.

So what'd you
hire me for then, huh?

Because my girlfriend dumped me.

It's right up here on the corner.

Hey, thanks. I had a great time.

You sure I, uh...
can't convince you to come upstairs?

Get out of here.

It was nice to meet you.
I'll see you around.

- Okay.
- All right.

- I'll see ya.
- Bye.

Oh, shit. My keys.
J-just wait.

Keep the meter running, okay? Shit.

Joe.

Joe, you have my keys.

Joe.

Oh, my...

Oh, my God.

You should call the police.

No, no. No cops.

They cut the lines.

L-let's get out of here, okay?

You can come to my place
and use the phone.

It's okay. Come on.

- What's this, the Hamptons?
- Jersey Shore. Cape May.

- Is that you?
- Yeah. Why?

- 'Cause it looks a little like Axl Rose.
- Thanks.

That was up in the Catskills.

She looks like a movie star,
doesn't she?

Like Vivien Leigh.

Audrey Hepburn.

Shit!
I'm not gonna get through this.

I'm not gonna be able to.

I can't imagine my life without her.

Hey, hey, hey.
It's all right.

She's gonna come back.
She's gonna come running back.

How the hell do you know?!

I don't, but, you know,
she's--she's on the rebound,

she's vulnerable, so...

No, but...

Look, don't get mad, but...

You know, is she...
she only into girls, or what?

Girls?

Ladies, women.

Well...no.
She had a boyfriend before me.

Bingo.

Perfect. l mean...who knows?
Maybe she'll try a guy.

Since most guys are assholes,
it's only a matter of time

before one of them
fucks her over, so, you know...

she'll be back in your arms
by summer.

How do you know?

'Cause it's myjob.
I know women.

- Hello.
- Joey there?

Yeah. He's right here.

- Put him on. Joey.
- Hey, Mick.

- Yeah.
- You got the message.

I got the message.
I'll bet you anything Harvey did this.

Of course it was Harvey,
what do you think?

All right, wait, wait.
Where are you?

Look, you gotta talk to this guy.
He's a fucking psycho.

I'll take care of it. Where are you?

- Tonight?
- Where you stayin'?

- I don't know.
- You can stay with me.

- No, no, no.
- Come to my house.

lfl come to your place, he'll be waiting
in the lobby with a fucking blowtorch.

Where are you gonna stay?

I don't know.
A hotel, I guess.

No. Come to my house.

Stay here. Stay here tonight.

Joey, you come to my--Hellol

Joel

Hey, Mick,
I'm gonna stay here tonight.

- Where's here?
- A girl--a friend.

- She a client?
- A friend!

- She'd better not be a client.
- So you got the number?

- [called you, didn't I?
- Listen, take care ofthis for me.

- Call him.
- Yeah. Don't go out.

- Call me in the morning.
- I'll talk to you tomorrow. Later.

Thanks.

You know, it's only for,
you know, a day or two, tops.

- What?
- You could do it, Joe.

- Excuse me?
- You could get Ellen back for me.

What are you talking about?

Are you good with women?
Are you good with your job?

Yeah.

Yeah, so you can break her heart
and send her running back to me.

Look, I'm gonna stay
here on the couch, okay?

No, Joe, look, it-it'll work.
I got nothing to lose.

I mean, you know,
she already left me.

J-just go--see her.
Uh, meet with her.

You can sit in her class.
She's a teaching assistant at NYU.

All right, all right, all right. Okay.

- l'll sleep on it, all right?
- Great!

Great. I mean, sleep on it.
That'll--that's--that'l| work.

That's--that's perfect.

So let's start with inspiration.

I've got something
I'd like to read for you today.

It's from a novel called Victoria,

written by Knut Hamsun
around the turn of the century.

You minimalist guys are gonna think
it's a little bit over the top,

but that's the point.

It's a love story.

A tragic love story.
The best kind, right?

"Dear Johann,

"When you read this letter,
I shall be dead.

"Everything seems so strange now.

"|--| don't feel ashamed
to write to you anymore,

"and I'm writing just as if nothing
had ever happened to prevent it.

"Before, when l was fully alive...

"I would rather
have suffered night and day

"than written to you again,
but now I've started to die,

"and I don't think in that way
any longer.

"Strangers have seen me bleed.

"Forgive me
for the wrong I've done you

"and for never having
thrown myself at your feet

"and begged your forgiveness.

"I do so now with all my heart.

"Be happy, Johann,
and good-bye forever.

Yours, Victoria."

So your first assignment
is to write a letter to a lover.

It can be a real
or an imaginary person.

Good.
So...have a good week.

That, uh...

Johann was a lucky guy, huh?

Lucky? Victoria dies.

Oh, she dies? Oh.

Well, you know...

at least he was loved.

- I'll see you next week.
- Yeah.

Okay. Bye-bye.

Bye .

- Joe?
- Yeah. In the bathroom.

- Hey.
- Hey, how you doing?

All right.
So did you find her?

Right on schedule.

How'd she look?
Did she look happy?

Happy? I don't know.
She looked nervous.

It was the first day of class.

Hey, you wanna grab my suit
out in the hallway for me?

So w-what did you say to her?

I said I was gonna fuck her lights out
and break her heart.

- You got any deodorant?
- You're such an asshole.

What was--what was she wearing?

What is this,
20 questions here? Jesus.

What was she wearing?
I don't know...

She was all dressed up.
She looked great.

Slut.

Listen, do me a favor
and grab my shoes.

They're out in the hallway, all right.

God, I'm late.

What's the big hurry?
Where are you going?

I'm going to work.

- To work?
- Yeah.

W-what about me?
What about me and Ellen?

What about Ellen?
What about Ellen?

Piece of cake. No problem.

Where's that brush?
I gotta run.

- What?
- You--shaving cream.

Oh, yeah. Okay, thanks.

- Bye.
- Bye. Have fun.

Shit.

I'm sorry.

You want her?

Yeah? You got her.

You okay? I gotta run.
I'm late, okay?

- Okay.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Yes!

- Good evening.
- Billy, Toto needs a little treat.

- Think of something special.
- Sure will.

- Good evening, Miss Thomas.
- Good evening, Mitch.

- Good night, Mitch.
- You have a nice night, Miss Thomas.

- That's not funny.
- It's not loaded.

"Not loaded"?!

Oh, God, you don't think
I knew it was loaded.

Do you have any idea
where that gun has been?

Room service.

Hold on! Help!

- Help me!
- Just a second, just a second.

Lifestyles of the rich
and famous bitches.

Lifestyles of the bitchy
and the famous--or the infamous.

Shit.

- Having trouble, Lord Byron?
- Yeah.

You didn't say nothing
about homework.

- Looks like study hall for you.
- Yeah, right.

I spent my whole senior year
in detention.

- You went to high school?
- Yeah. What did you think?

I don't know,
I thought you were, like,

you know,
one of those street kids or something.

Who fought his way
out of the ghetto?

You've been watching
too many episodes of MacGyver.

I grew up right over the bridge
in Hackensack.

My old man
ran a Lincoln Mercury dealership,

and my mom...

she split.

That's it. The American dream.

How'd you become an escort?

I watched
too many MacGyver episodes.

All right.
So what's this assignment?

She wants us to write
some kind of love letter.

Bitch.

All right. Let's give her one that'll make
those beautiful cheeks of hers blush.

- Great.
- Um...

Shoot.

As you came from the hot bath,
I took you before the long mirror--

Whoa, whoa.

As...

Oh.

"As you came from the hot bath...

"I took you before the long mirror.

"Your breasts quivered in my hands.

"Your buttocks shivered against me.

"My tongue moves into you...

"and you become hollow,
ablaze with whirling light,

like the inside
of a vast, expanding pearl."

"I cannot forget the perfumed dusk

"inside the tent of your black hair

"as we awoke in the dawn

"to the love after a night of love.

"At this moment, we are
the happiest people in the world.

"But now, every morning,
I wake alone...

dreaming..."

"My--my arm is your sweet flesh
pressing my lips.

"What can I write to you?

"Sick with love, I long to see you.

"I can write only I love you,

I love you..."

"l love--l love you."

That's it.

Okay. That's it for today.
Class dismissed.

I need a cigarette.

Mr. Casella,
could you stay for a minute?

Uh, sure. Sure.

That was a very beautiful letter.

Thanks.

You know, you've very in touch
with the feminine side of yourself.

Feminine side...
I never knew that.

In fact, you would have
to have been a Japanese woman.

I don't understand.

Your letter was written by a poet--
a Japanese poet named Marakiko.

Mr. Casella,
you're a plagiarist.

Good-bye.

Son of a bitch!

That's just it.
I am a Japanese woman.

What do you think,
it's fun being trapped inside this body?

All right. Okay, I'm sorry.
All I wanted to do was impress you.

Maybe you should
just try another teacher.

I don't want another teacher.
I want you.

Look, just give me five minutes
to explain, okay?

Just five minutes out of your day?
Come on.

Please?

I don't know,
I must have been six or seven.

l was six, that's right,
I was in first grade,

and l was home,
sitting on the living room floor

watching Batman,
and l was starving.

You know, 'cause it was after school,
and l was really hungry,

so, uh...| got up,

and |--| walked into the kitchen,

and, uh...

There she was.
Uh, my mother was...

laying on the kitchen floor.

She had, uh...
she--she had died.

She was--she was dead.

She was into this combination
of booze and smack.

Really knocked her for a loop.

But this time, you know,
was the last time.

I'm sorry.

Anyway, come on.
You gotta play fair.

You owe me a personal answer.
Come on.

Okay.
One...not too personal.

Okay.

Seeing that l'm...auditing

and, uh, you know,
I'm not a real student,

you know, if it's not illegal,
I thought maybe we could, uh,

get together for dinner
or, uh, a movie,

maybe another
cup of coffee sometime.

Well, actually,
l'm--l'm involved with somebody.

I don't know, ljust--
I don't think it's the right time.

Oh, okay.

What's--what's, uh, his name?

Conrad. His name's Conrad.

Look at all the young

Their lives have just begun

So don't take away
the future they hold

And they don't wanna know

the damage that you've done

Conrad!

Oh, Conrad, baby.

You wouldn't believe it.

She said your name was Conrad
and you two were still an item.

That lying bitch.

Don't worry,
I got her up against the ropes.

She can't keep lying to me forever.

- Did she read my love letter?
- Oh, yeah.

She busted me for plagiarism.
Nice going.

Fuck. She knew that one.
Can't believe it.

Yeah, and after that, it took me
15 minutes just to convince her

to go have a cup of coffee.

Thanks.

- And?
- And...

How does a guy like me
charm a girl like her?

How?

I made up this totally outrageous story
about my fucked-up childhood.

She ate it up.

So, what, the two of you
are, like, friends now or something?

Oh, you should've seen her eyes.
She loved it.

Oh, God, I can't take this anymore.
I'm gonna go crazy.

Would you relax?
I know what I'm doing.

All right?
I got everything under control, okay?

Your face.

Why don't you finish up
whatever the hell you're doing here,

we'll go out and drown some olives,
what do you say?

Okay.

I know just the place.

J. Edgar Hoover.

The FBI guy? That's impossible.
What are you trying to tell me?

You're trying to tell me the guy
who founded the goddamn FBI is gay?

Total screamer.

Idiot even bugged
his own swing parties.

I heard the tapes.

Mamie Eisenhower.

Get out of here!

- Abbott and Costello.
- No way, all right?

You ever seen the way Abbott
and Costello looked at each other?

I'm telling you,
baby, you gotta believe me.

It's instinct. You can just tell.

- It's in their eyes. It's a look.
- Really?

Hi there.

See, you ain't the only king
in this joint, sweetheart.

You wanna dance?

Come on.

Come on, dance, Connie.
Dance with him. Come on.

Higher

When you shake what you got

and, girl, you've got a lot

You're really somethin', child

Yes, ya are

When you're hot, you're hot,
you really shoot your shot

- Higher!
- Higher!

The way you walk, you talk,
really turns me on

- So you had a good time?
- Absolutely.

- You'd say I'm a pretty good date?
- The best.

- Attractive to look at?
- Sensational.

- All-around fun gal?
- A blast, why?

I'm thinking about
getting out of medicine,

going into the lesbian
escort business.

Well, you know what?
You're gonna have to, uh...

learn the tricky part.

The sex?

It's a totally separate negotiation.
It's where the big bucks are at.

- How much can you make?
- I've been tipped a grand.

A thousand dollars?
Whoa. What'd you do?

I had to dress up like a cub scout.

What do you do ifthey're old
and wrinkled and ugly?

You make them feel
like they're the hottest,

most beautiful woman in the world.

You can do that?

Any woman, anytime,
anyplace, guaranteed.

You're full of shit.

Any woman, anytime, anyplace.

I'm gonna be so hung over tomorrow.

I hardly have a voice.
It was great.

Wow. You got beautiful eyes.

They're huge!

Hey, they change color, don't they?

Like blue to green.
What are they now? Let me see.

Yeah, they're
kind of silvery right now.

Yeah. There's, like,
a little brown around the center.

Yeah.

You know, Connie...

I really don't know
quite how to say this, but...

I don't think I really met
a woman quite like you before.

No shit.

No, I mean it. I'm serious.
I mean, I know we just met--

we're practically strangers, but,
you know, I feel like I know you.

You know, like there's some kind
of connection there or something.

- I know what you mean.
- It's really weird.

Everything about you--the way you talk,
the way you dress, the way you dance.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you
I think you got a lot of style.

Joey, you're so sweet.

- That's how I do it.
- Oh, you bastard!

Any woman, anytime,
anyplace, guaranteed.

- Stop.
- I told you.

You don't need to be
such a sex machine.

- Why do you say that?
- 'Cause you're a nice guy, Joe.

People like you
for more reasons than you think.

- Thanks.
- Sleep tight.

One, two,

three, four, five...

What is this?
What is this, Jack Lalanne?

I mean, this is not
an aerobics class.

Oh, I'm sorry. I-I'm sorry.

I just wasn't sure
exactly what you wanted.

Let me explain something
to you, Jackie.

The customers that
you're gonna be dealing with,

they're like, they're--they're lonely,

they're desperate people.

They're paying a buck a minute
for some emotion.

- You want this job?
- Oh, yes.

You gotta make me come.

- I've gotta--I've got--
- Not--not like that.

You know, like, you know,
figuratively on the count.

One fry.

He doesn't mean for real.
He wants you to turn him on,

you know, turn him on
by counting to ten.

You gotta do it sexy--one, two--

Hot, hot, hot--"one."
Like this. Look at me.

Two, three...go ahead.

One...two...

- Three...
- Yeah.

- Four...
- Faster.

- Five...
- Faster.

- Six--
- Mickey?

- What?
- It's Harvey on line two.

- Seven!
- You got the job.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Polari!

Go talk to Doris over there.
She'll handle the formalities.

Hey, I wanna talkto him.

Whoa,
let me handle this, all right?

- I can take care of myself.
- Let me handle it!

Shut up.

Harvey, what is it?
I was just on my way out.

I'm looking for Casella.

Yeah, right. Joe.
He's still with me.

He's been having
some problems lately.

Mickey, I'm asking you
as a personal favor--

don 't get involved with this.

Hey, Harvey, go fuck yourself.

I know you trashed
the kid's apartment.

What's the matter with you?
That--that's your weakness, Harvey.

I mean, you jump to conclusions
without any evidence.

You're blaming this kid for something
he didn't--he had nothing to do with!

The little prick set me up.

I'm gonna use his balls
as a fuckin' necklace.

Listen to me, you cocksucker.

You touch this kid,
you touch me--you got it?!

If he comes in here with even
a fucking bruise, you deal with me.

- Leave him the fuck alone!
- Why won't you let me talk to him?

What are you, crazy?
You wanna reason with a guy like this?

- Look, maybe if I talk to him--
- Shut the fuck up. Let me handle it!

Goddamn kid
wants to be a fuckin' hero!

Okay, also--also,
the man never read a book.

Ever. And because...

- Because he had wet hands.
- You made him nervous.

I mean, all I'm saying is
you can do what you want,

but he lives in the city now,

and he's got the best job
on Wall Street,

and Brian wears the cutest
little horn-rimmed glasses.

Mmm. Great.
You date him, Ally, okay?

What, did Mom
write this underwater?

She probablyjust wept all over it.

That's the guy
from the wine store, I think.

Good.
Look. Look at me.

You're turning me into Pat Nixon.

All I want is for you to meet
a nice, charming, intelligent, sexy...

Do I have the right apartment?

Man.

- I'm looking for Ellen Armstrong.
- And whom shall I say is calling?

Joe. Uh, Casella.
I'm--I'm a student in her class.

Ellen. Ellen. Ellen.

- Ellen, darlin', Joe's here.
- I heard.

Get a grip.

- Hi, Joe.
- Hi.

So, what's going on?
What are you doing here?

Well, that was polite.
Mr. Casella, would you like to come in?

I didn't mean to catch you
at a bad time.

Are you--Iooks like
you're having dinner.

No, no, no. Just two sisters
torturing each other.

- Is everything okay?
- Well, yeah, sure.

I, uh, |--| finished that paper
that we were talking about

earlier in the coffee shop--
the one about when I was a kid.

- Oh, great.
- I think it turned out pretty good.

So, |--| just happened to be
in the neighborhood.

I figured, you know, I figured
I'd just stop by and drop it off.

lthink your...
I think your garlic's burning.

Yeah. Excuse me.

Ellen's working on a new recipe.
We're all very concerned.

Here it is.

- Read it and weep.
- Great. Thanks.

I, uh, better run.
You two enjoy your dinner.

- Did you scrub those?
- Are you supposed to?

- Yeah. It's shellfish. Sure.
- Um...scrub.

Scrub and then eat.

Here, let me do that for you.
I got it.

I, on the other hand, I've gotta go
pick up Kevin from ninja class.

If I'm not there in time,
he'll hurt the other children.

No--

- Joe, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

You're sure this is, uh...
all right with, uh, Conrad?

- Who?
- Conrad's on duty at the hospital.

And besides, I have my own life.

I'll call you tomorrow, little sister.

Enjoy your dinner.

All right, what have we got here?
Oregano.

I had a friend who told me once--

she said that if you
really love somebody--

I mean, really,
like, where you can't breathe--

if you really
love somebody like that,

then they're
probably loving you back.

Do you believe that?

What do you want?

Excuse me?

Well, what do you want
from my class?

I mean, I don't know
anything about you.

You cook like a chef, you look
like a movie star or something.

- Movie star.
- You do.

Well, actually...
I'm a male escort,

and somebody hired me
to show you a good time.

My sister's too cheap.

Well...

I got a hell of a day tomorrow.

Thank you for dinner.
I had a...very nice time.

Hey, you scrubbed
my clams, you know.

- I what?
- Oh, my God!

Get out. You better go.

Yeah.

Well, I'll see you soon.

Do you like theater?

Sure.

Well, 'cause there's--there's this play
on Wednesday night...

You know, if you're interested.

- It's a date.
- Great.

So Ralph runs off
screaming like a woman,

looking for a doctor,

and this stupid idiot
from admitting is there.

She's freaking out.
The whole room is staring at me.

I grab this coat from the guy,
lay the woman on the floor.

She's screaming, "Oh, my God,
it's coming, it's coming."

It was unbelievable.
The next thing you know,

the baby's head--
it was like a football.

Itjust came, like,
right out. I caught it.

Are you kiddin' me?
You did this all by yourself?

Yeah, it was unbelievable!

- Where the hell was Ralph?
- I said he was looking for the doctor.

All by yourself, huh?

Pretty good.

Hey, uh, Con,
did you see my money clip?

Never mind, never mind.
I got it right here.

Seven, all right.

- I'm calling it off.
- Calling off what?

Our deal or whatever the hell
you wanna call it. It's wrong.

Connie, what the hell
are you talking about, huh?

You can't bail out on me now.
Come on, we're winning.

I don't feel like I'm winning.

Look, all I need
is a little more time.

Come on, not long.
Just a few more days.

- You know she's worth it.
- Yeah, she is.

So where are you going?

I'm going to work.
I'll be home late.

Thanks. Bye.

Hello, this is Yvonne.

I'm not at home.
Leave a message.

Hi, Yvonne. It's Joe calling.

Uh, listen,
I'm not feeling too good tonight,

so I'm gonna have to cancel
for later on,

and, uh, I'll give you a rain check.

Okay.

- Is everything okay?
- Great.

After you.

It was simple, but it was loved.

And now it stands cold

and shriveled with loneliness

at the edge of time.

I don't think these people
even liked it.

Let's go. Let's go.

Ellen!

Ellen.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- You look beautiful.
- Oh, you look amazing.

Joe, this is my friend Connie.

Hey, Connie, how are you doing?

- Fine.
- Pleasure.

So, you guys know
what that was about?

It was Iike...really silly.

Well...uh, we should get going.

Guess you got, what,
dinner plans or something?

Yeah.
It's a pleasure to meet you.

Yeah.

Wait. There's this great new
Cuban restaurant down on Cornelia.

Oh, great.

- Do you still love plantains?
- Yeah, I do.

That sounds great. Thanks.
You ready?

Yeah. Take care.

Excuse me.

I need a story, you know.
There was no story.

I mean, could you tell me
what that was all about?

That's why I'm taking your class,

you know, because
I've always read a lot,

but, uh, I really want
to learn how to write.

Joe, I need to tell you something.

That woman back there,
that woman we just met...

Yeah, sure.

She--she and I were a couple.

We were a couple.
We were living together.

- Uh, Connie.
- Yeah. Conrad.

Stupid.

I don't know why
I lied about that, you know.

I guess...l don't know.
I'm gonna have to think about that.

But, um...you know,
I'm--I'm sorry.

So what are you, uh...

what are you,
are you still together?

No.

Do you, uh...
what, do you still love her?

Yeah, I do. I love her.

Connie's in my heart.

But it's not like you can

make yourself stay in love.

You can't.

It's not like you can--

it's not like you can take some pill
that keeps you in love forever.

Hey, hey, hey.
Come here.

It's okay.

- Can I ask you something?
- Sure.

What is this thing
on top of your head?

I'm serious.
What have you got in there, huh?

Are you storing change in there?
Your lipstick up there?

Shut up!
This is a very sophisticated hair style.

Hello.

It only took me halfthe day, creep.

You want me to take it down?
I can take it down.

No, I'm only kidding,
I'm only kidding.

You hate it.

I love it.

You're beautiful.

You're so beautiful
you make my heart stop.

Joe...

Joe, I want you
to stay here tonight.

Okay, stay with me.

I can't...

I'm sorry. It's just...

I can't stay here tonight.

Well, what's wrong?

Nothing. It's...

It's not you, it's me.

I just can't...stay here...

Now, tonight.

This is crazy.

I'm sorry.

I better--I better go.

Sorry.

Good night.

Come on.

l'll seduce your foot.

Come to bed.

l'll kiss your toes.

l'll kiss your little toes.

All right, now go back
to the camera like you were.

Go like this.

That close, okay.

Now tell me
what you like about me.

Come on, do it. Do it.

Come on, okay, tell me.
Think of something.

- I'm thinking.
- No, no, no. Come on.

- I like about--
- Off the top of your head.

- You can't think.
- You're sweet, and you're funny,

and you're loving,
and you're warm...

Isn't she beautiful?

- And how about gorgeous?
- And you're my best friend.

And you're beautiful,
and you have legs for days.

- And you're a great kisser.
- All right!

There she is!

Connie, when are you
gonna get over this--this obsession.

These stupid, fucking videos?
It's pathetic.

What the hell do you care
what videos I watch?

It's--it's my place.
I can watch whatever videos I want to.

And what the hell were you doing there
tonight--what was that all about?

I wanted to see her.

You wanted to see her, great.

Well, you saw her, all right?
You feel better?

What happened tonight?

What happened?
You almost fucked everything up,

that's almost
what happened tonight.

I thought you said
you were going to work.

I was working, remember?

- How could they not love you?
- I don't know.

I'm exhausted.

Maybe once they get
over their shock or whatever...

- I'm going to bed.
- It'll be okay, but...

lknow, it's like the unspoken thing.

We're all passive-aggressive,
all crazy and Polish and Catholic,

and we're pretty funny, but...

They're gonna love you.
I know that.

My mom will love you.

Where? All right, look.

Wait here, and don't come over
till I call you, all right?

Harvey.

Hey, still mad at me?

Hey, what is this thing?
Is it for the arms?

Get that piece of shit
out of my sight.

Hey, Harvey, come on.
This is Joey.

Joey's cool, for Christ's sake.

If he says he didn't turn you in,
Harvey, he didn't turn you in.

You know what this is?

This is
a communication situation here.

Come on, do it for me.
Would you guys kiss and make up?

I mean, talkto him.
He feels like shit.

Don't fuck with my mind, man.

I know what happened.
I know what he did.

Why do you want to get
in the middle ofthis?

I don't know where you get
your information from,

but it's wrong, pal.

- You got it?
- Take it easy.

I mean, what do you think,
I'd waste my time

talking to the cops
or anybody about you?!

You'd sell your mother for money.
You're a whore.

Exactly. Exactly, Harvey.

He is. He's a whore.

You're a whore...

But he's my fucking whore.
I mean, look at that beautiful face.

You fuck with that face,
you're fucking with me.

So let's just calm the fuck down.

- How do I make this right with you?
- All right, all right.

I wanna see this asshole
on a stretcher.

- I wanna see his fucking bones broken.
- You wanna throw it down, huh?

- Fuck you. Right now!
- Come on.

- Why are you pushing me?
- Get the fuck--

- Hey, fuck you. Come on!
- Stay here. I wanna talk to you.

Get over here.
Come here, come here.

Motherfuckers.

Get out of here.
Let me talk to him.

Get out of here.
You got a date, go.

A date--what do you mean,
I got a date?

I'm not working. I got plans.

Forget your plans,
you're working for me.

I called your machine last night.
I told you you have a date.

Here.

Yeah, here. Donna.
Go. Just go.

Wait a minute. Go ahead.

What am I supposed to do,
go like this?

They don't care
about what you wear.

They care what you don't wear.
Don't let me down.

Hey, what are we gonna do?

He fucked me, Mickey,
and he's gonna fuck you.

I'm sorry.

Joe, cut it out.
This is stupid, okay?

You don't want to be here, fine.
Just don't waste my time.

What are you--
I do want to be here. What?

- |--| wanna be with you.
- Forget it.

Ellen.

- What--what do you want?
- I wanna know who you are.

I don't get it.

- What do you mean, who am I?
- Look, you're not a writing student.

You're certainly not with me.

Who are you?

- I'm just Joe.
- That's not good enough, Joe.

Did you bring your assignment?
It was to describe your fear.

I didn't do it.

Do it now.

Do--do what?
This is...it's blank.

Describe your fears.

Look, I can't do this, okay?
ljust, I--this is stupid.

Ifeel like an idiot.

No.

I'm the idiot.

All--al| right!
Hey, no, no, no, wait, wait!

Hey, come here.

I'm...just, you know...

I'm afraid of...nothing.

Not real.

I'm afraid of myself, you know.

What I am.
What I'm gonna do.

I'm afraid of your honesty...

and the way you make me feel...

the things you make me see.

I feel so weak sometimes.

You're not weak.

I'm not very good at this.

It's hard to say that stuff.

Sorry.

Thank you.

There are only two caterers
in the whole country--on on each coast.

All the rest
are out of Chicago.

Oh, darling,
I completely understand.

Last time I used these people they put
way too much salt on everything.

Yeah, I spent more on water
than I did on the food, yeah.

And whatever you do,

don't let them sell you
on the dim sum or the canapes.

They'll charge you a fortune,
and everyone's still hungry.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And they have an absolutely
snippy bartender--Juan.

Don't let them give you Juan.

Ask for, uh...ask for Neil.

He's tall, and he makes
a perfect manhattan.

Yeah, I know...

And they're gonna try
and soak you on the wine,

but they have a perfectly
good chardonnay--

'83. Yeah.

It's cheaper, and nobody
will know the difference.

I got to get off.
I'll call you later.

What's wrong with you?

I'm sorry. I'm just...

I'm just tired.

Well, that's all right.
I can help you with that.

Stop it.
Don't touch me, okay?

What's the matter with you?

Don't...don't touch me.

Last time you canceled on me
at the last minute,

and now you're
playing games with me.

Get out of those clothes
and get into the bed.

I don't wanna touch you.

You make me sick.

I make you sick?
Oh, Joe. I've spoiled you.

You think you're special.
You're not special.

But I do own you
till tomorrow morning.

Where do you think you're going?

Joe, get back here!

You can't walk out on me, Joe.
I'll call Mickey.

Your trouble's just beginning, Joe.
This isn't the end ofthis.

Ellen.

- Hey.
- Hi.

I have to talk to you.

What?

My life is such a mess.

It's okay.
Come here. It's okay.

He deals the cards as a meditation

And those he plays never suspect

He doesn't play
for the money he wins

He doesn't play for respect

He deals the cards to find the answer

The sacred geometry of chance

The hidden law of a probable outcome

The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades
are the swords of a soldier

I know that the clubs
are weapons of war

I know that diamonds
mean money for this art

But that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds

He may lay the queen of spades

He may conceal a king in his hand

While the memory of it fades

I love you.

I know that the spades
are the swords of a soldier

I know that the clubs
are weapons of war

I know that diamonds
mean money for this art

But that's not the shape of my heart

That's not the shape

The shape of my heart

I can't believe you did this to me.

Yvonne's furious.
She's my best client.

Did you ever think
about retiring, Mick?

Please, please.
Joey, Joey.

What...what the fuck
are you talking about?

So she's a little crazy.
So what?

No, it's not just her.
It's everything.

- I can't do it anymore.
- What is this?

What is this,
some bullshit fantasy?

You wanna pretend
you're somebody else?

Is that it?!

All right, just out of curiosity,
what are you gonna do for money?

Learn to dig ditches?

Are you gonna sell
newspapers on the corner?

What are you gonna do?

How are you gonna get by?
With your brains?

With your wonderful personality?

It's your dick, Joe.

Your dick, and I'm the guy
that knows where to send it

to make you more money
than you ever dreamt of.

Look, I don't know what I'm gonna do,
okay, but I'm not doing this anymore.

I'll bartend, wait tables,
go to school. Who knows?

Go to school?
I'd like to see that.

"Here you go, teacher.
Here's a nice shiny apple.

"Or better yet,
you know, I'm kind of dumb.

Maybe I can fuck you after class
for an 'A'."

You want me to say okay?
You're right. Go ahead.

Go to school.
I'll see you at graduation.

You were nothing when I met you.

I turned you into something,

and if you think that I'm gonna
let you walk away after all that...

then you're wrong,
dead fucking wrong.

You just don't get it, do you?

I'm not gonna apologize to nobody,

and I'm not gonna be anywhere at 8:00
or 9:00 or 10:00 to fuck anybody.

Got it?

Where are you going? Joey.

Look, what the hell
are we fighting for?

Come on back in the office.
We can work this out.

Joey!

Harvey.

We gotta talk, Connie.

Would you stop cleaning?

I spent the night with her, Connie.

Oh, really?

Look, do you hear
what I'm saying?

Do you know what this means?
Connie, I can't do this anymore.

How dare you
live with me in my home

and fuck my girlfriend?

I trusted you.

You animal!

Connie, look, I'm sorry.

- I don't know what happened.
- Get out!

- Get out!
- Look, I didn't want to hurt you.

Would you stop?
What are you doing?

- Stop it, will you?
- Get out of my house!

Get out!

Connie, open the door,
would you, please?

Inudbfltbyou.

Please, just open up.
Connie, open the door.

Open up the goddamn door!
Open up! Let me in!

Oh, my God! Stop!

Hi. My name is Harvey.

- Miss me, fuckhead?
- Oh, God.

Get her out of here.

Joe! Joe!

Joe!

Now we're gonna teach you
some respect, Joe.

- Do him good.
- No!

No!

Oh, God! Oh, God!

What's going on?
Where is he?

- Connie...
- I'm so glad you're here.

Joe's been beat up.
He's been beat up pretty bad.

He's over there.
He's gonna be okay.

Ellen, no matter what,
I did it 'cause I love you.

I love you so much.

- I wanted Joe to know--
- How do you know Joe?

Joe's a male escort, okay?
I hired him to get you back.

- I hired him.
- That's ridiculous.

- We had a plan!
- That's ridiculous, Connie.

- Come on.
- Connie, stop!

Hi.

Tell her, Joe.
Come on, tell her the truth, okay?

She doesn't believe me.
Come on!

Goddammit, Joe.
Tell her about us!

It's not true.

I know it's not true, right?

Come on, tell me.

I'm sorry.

Is it? Is it true?

I tried to tell you.

Oh, God.

- You two deserve each other.
- Ellen, wait, wait. I can--

We blew it.

Dr. Bialystock, 7302.

Dr. Bialystock, call 7302.

Hey, kid.

How ya doing?

You look like shit.

The doc says you'll be out soon.

Fucking Harvey. He can't do nothin'
without resorting to violence.

Oh, I, uh...

I also, uh...| got you...

A get-well present, but, uh...
what did I do with it?

Hope you like it.

You know, I figured
while you're recuperating, maybe...

you'd want to make a few bucks.

Give Yvonne a call. She, uh...
she likes to talk on the phone.

Maybe you give her a call,
you know, make up.

You did this to me, Mickey.
You did it.

What the hell
are you talking about?

You were the only one
who knew the address,

the only one
who could've told Harvey.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

I would never do that to you. Never.

I mean...l swear on my mother
I wouldn't do that to you.

I mean, I paid your hospital bill,
for chrissakes.

All you ever talk about
is the things you done for me,

how I need you...

when the truth is you used me
since the fucking start.

And I'm through with that,
you hear me?

I'm through with that.

So why don't you do me a favor
and just get the hell out of here, huh?

Get out of here, Mickey,
'cause if you don't get out of here,

I'm afraid of what
I might fucking do to you!

Get out of here!

- What the hell is taking so long here?
- A lot of paperwork.

- I'll say.
- Relax.

Listen, thanks for coming
and getting me out ofthis place.

You're welcome.

- What's this for?
- Hospital procedure.

- What, do I look like I can't walk?
- If you're carried in, you wheel out.

- This is insane.
- I'm an RN. I'll wheel him out.

Okay, I don't care who pushes,
as long as you're in it.

I'll be right back with your papers.

While we're still young.

So did you talk to Ellen?

I tried.

I must have called her a million times,
but she won't pick up.

So?

So that...that's it.

- What else can I do?
- Go see her.

Go see her.
Connie, she don't wanna see me.

She...she don't love me.

Bullshit.
She doesn't love me.

Jesus, it took me a while
to figure that out.

I was turning into the mad stalker.

Pretty glad I didn't send her
my nude photos.

ljust couldn't let her go.

Love is like
some fucking force of nature.

You--you can't trick it.

You sure can't control it.

But that's the great part.
That's the ride.

Enjoy it, Joe.

Yeah, right. It'll never work
after what we did to her.

It'll work.

How do you know?

Because I know women.

I can get any woman,
anyplace, anytime.

Guaranteed.

Don't make me laugh.
It hurts my ribs.

Okay, here you go.

Come on. Hop in, Casella.
I'll give you a ride.

Touche.

Come on,
I'm a trained professional.

That's what worries me.

See you later.

- We can still make that show.
- Going uptown.

Julie, wait for me!

- I'm out of here, guys.
- You wanna get a cab?

Taxi!

Hey.

- I'm sorry.
- No.

Ellen, what could I do? I...

Do?

What can you do?

Nothing.

"Forgive me
the wrong I've done you...

"and for--for never having
thrown myself at your feet

"and begged your forgiveness.

I do so now with all my heart."

You see, I...| listened, Ellen.
I heard you.

Ellen, don't you understand

that everything in my life
is different now?

I mean, because of you.

I was a hustler.
|--| hustled you.

- You were brilliant.
- No.

I screwed up...

because I fell in love,
and I never expected that.

Look, I know you think
every word out of my mouth is a lie.

Wouldn't you?

I just want you to know the truth.

I love you.

|--| really should get going.

Okay.

You know, I'm not gonna chase you

or, you know,
pressure you or anything...

if you need time.

Yeah, okay.

Fuck this.

Ellen!

Ellen!

Ellen!

Well, that was impressive.

I could have caught that cab in heels.

You see?

You see what happens
I take your advice?

Who knew you were
gonna be so slow?

What the hell
are you doing here, anyway?

I thought you gave up stalking.

I'm not stalking. I'm lurking.

Besides, Ellen and I had a date.

Yeah, right.

Calm down, handsome.
I'm just returning some of her stuff.

Switching to laser disc.
It's the wave of the future.

So...what now, Dr. Love?

I already tried apologizing.

Ever hear of expensive jewelry?

- I'm out of work, remember?
- That's right. That's a drag.

Yeah, you ain't kidding.

So, Con, I was thinking, since I
gotta get out of my place anyway,

I was thinking,
maybe for a day or two--

- Out of the question.
- Couple days, tops!

- Forget about it!
- Connie...

You could do it, Connie.

You could get Ellen back for me.
I mean, you're good with women...

Get away from me!

- Come here.
- Okay, |'||--|'|| get her back...

- Under one condition.
- What's that?

Just don't invite me to the wedding.

- I hate weddings.
- Oh, yeah?

Anyway, I know you--

You're gonna get drunk,
you're gonna wanna kiss me.

Ellen will go mocus.

- It'll be a nightmare.
- It'd be romantic.

He deals the cards as a meditation

And those he plays never suspect

He doesn't play for the money he wins

He doesn't play for respect

He deals the cards to find the answer

The sacred geometry of chance

The hidden law of a probable outcome

The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades
are the swords of a soldier

I know that the clubs
are weapons of war

I know that diamonds
mean money for this art

But that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds

He may lay the queen of spades

He may conceal a king in his hand

While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades
are the swords of a soldier

I know that the clubs
are weapons of war

I know that diamonds
mean money for this art

But that's not the shape of my heart

That's not the shape

The shape of my heart

And if I told her that I loved you

You'd maybe think
there's something wrong

I'm not a man of too many faces

The mask I wear is one

Those that speak know nothin'

And find out to their cost

Like those who curse their luck
In too many places

For those who fear are lost

I know that the spades
are the swords of a soldier

I know that the clubs
are weapons of war

I know that diamonds
mean money for this art

But that's not the shape of my heart

That's not the shape of my heart

That's not the shape

The shape of my heart