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1
00:00:01,156 --> 00:00:03,492
ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,
every kid was obsessed
2
00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:05,794
with professional wrestling's
greatest superstars.
3
00:00:05,827 --> 00:00:07,096
Especially me!
4
00:00:07,129 --> 00:00:09,464
You're gonna feel pain
you've never known,
Iron Sheik!
5
00:00:09,998 --> 00:00:11,666
Bodyslam! (GRUNTS)
6
00:00:12,067 --> 00:00:13,268
(CREAKS)
7
00:00:13,302 --> 00:00:15,470
You moron!
You broke the bed!
8
00:00:15,504 --> 00:00:17,172
And The Iron Sheik's spine,
9
00:00:17,206 --> 00:00:19,040
so American values
are preserved!
10
00:00:19,074 --> 00:00:20,642
Where do you come from?
11
00:00:20,675 --> 00:00:22,811
ADULT ADAM:
Yep. We even made movies
about wrestling.
12
00:00:22,844 --> 00:00:24,646
But no one loved it
more than Barry.
13
00:00:24,679 --> 00:00:26,981
Listen up, Hulkamaniacs,
14
00:00:27,015 --> 00:00:30,519
you better eat your vitamins
and say your prayers
15
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:32,687
'cause these 24-inch pythons
16
00:00:32,721 --> 00:00:34,923
are gonna have lots
to say about it, brother!
17
00:00:35,724 --> 00:00:37,292
(GLASS SHATTERS)
Ow, my toe!
18
00:00:37,326 --> 00:00:39,528
Dammit! This is why
we can't have nice lamps!
19
00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,062
Chad did it!
What?
20
00:00:41,096 --> 00:00:44,566
He's very aggressive
and should know better
as a guest in our home!
21
00:00:44,599 --> 00:00:46,301
I do know better,
which is why I didn't!
22
00:00:46,335 --> 00:00:47,902
And just throw some lies
23
00:00:47,936 --> 00:00:50,672
on top of your trail
of destruction, Chad!
24
00:00:50,705 --> 00:00:51,740
This guy.
25
00:00:51,773 --> 00:00:53,675
We were just making
a wrestling film.
26
00:00:53,708 --> 00:00:56,811
Well, now you're just
sitting in my lampless room
making nothing.
27
00:00:56,845 --> 00:00:58,247
I'm shutting it down!
28
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,482
Check it out!
Dad's wrestling the camera!
29
00:01:00,515 --> 00:01:01,916
ALL: (CHANTING)
Cam-er-a!
30
00:01:01,950 --> 00:01:03,585
MURRAY: Where's the button,
something?
31
00:01:03,618 --> 00:01:04,819
ALL: Cam-er-a!
Damn it!
32
00:01:04,853 --> 00:01:05,887
(CAMERA THUDS)
That's it!
33
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,356
No more wrestling
in this house.
34
00:01:07,389 --> 00:01:10,692
No more TV, no more dolls,
all holds barred!
35
00:01:10,725 --> 00:01:12,394
What about my monthly
wrestling magazine?
36
00:01:12,427 --> 00:01:13,562
Subscription cancelled!
37
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,364
Or the Rock 'n' Wrestling
coloring book?
38
00:01:15,397 --> 00:01:16,665
I want your crayons, too!
39
00:01:16,698 --> 00:01:18,733
What about the Wrestling Stars
board game?
You lose!
40
00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:20,369
Sling-'Em Fling-'Em
Wrestling Ring?
41
00:01:20,402 --> 00:01:21,436
Why would anyone want that?
42
00:01:21,470 --> 00:01:24,273
"Macho Man" Randy Savage
plush wrestling buddy?
43
00:01:24,306 --> 00:01:25,940
I swear you said
that one already.
44
00:01:25,974 --> 00:01:27,276
Wrestling Superstars
Thumb Wrestlers?
45
00:01:27,309 --> 00:01:28,843
Did I buy you all these?
46
00:01:28,877 --> 00:01:30,445
"The Honky Tonk Man's" guitar?
47
00:01:30,479 --> 00:01:31,780
Now you're just
making these up!
48
00:01:31,813 --> 00:01:33,348
Jesse
"The Body" Ventura's boa.
49
00:01:33,382 --> 00:01:34,849
Be careful with that.
It's your sister's.
50
00:01:34,883 --> 00:01:37,186
Hulk Hogan's glasses.
I've been looking for those!
51
00:01:37,219 --> 00:01:38,920
Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake's
hedge clippers.
52
00:01:38,953 --> 00:01:40,455
Those belong in the garage!
53
00:01:40,489 --> 00:01:43,358
Greg "The Hammer" Valentine,
master of
the figure four leglock.
54
00:01:43,392 --> 00:01:44,593
Who's naming these guys?
55
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,628
Or "The British Bulldog's"
teacups.
Cheerio.
56
00:01:46,661 --> 00:01:48,129
Those are for good company!
57
00:01:48,163 --> 00:01:50,131
Or my "Rowdy" Roddy Piper
stretch wrestler?
58
00:01:50,165 --> 00:01:53,602
That's actually my
Rowdy Roddy Piper
stretch wrestler!
59
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:56,638
No, it's my Rowdy Roddy Piper
stretch wrestler!
60
00:01:56,671 --> 00:01:59,274
You lost
your Rowdy Roddy Piper
stretch wrestler at the zoo!
61
00:01:59,308 --> 00:02:00,809
Damn it!
I said no wrestling!
62
00:02:00,842 --> 00:02:03,378
This isn't wrestling!
This is real fighting!
63
00:02:03,412 --> 00:02:07,616
Now gimme back
my Rowdy Roddy Piper
stretch wrestler, you...
64
00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:09,251
(GROANS)
65
00:02:09,284 --> 00:02:11,085
* I'm twisted up inside
66
00:02:11,119 --> 00:02:14,389
* But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say
67
00:02:16,958 --> 00:02:18,427
* I don't know the future
68
00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:21,396
* But the past keeps getting
clearer every day *
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00:02:21,430 --> 00:02:22,564
(DOORBELL RINGS)
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00:02:22,597 --> 00:02:24,833
ADULT ADAM:
It was November 6,
1980-something,
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00:02:24,866 --> 00:02:26,968
and trouble was brewing
in Jenkintown.
72
00:02:27,001 --> 00:02:28,970
Oh, gosh, Bevy,
I'm a wreck.
73
00:02:29,003 --> 00:02:30,672
Someone broke into my car
last night.
(DOOR CLOSES)
74
00:02:30,705 --> 00:02:31,773
Oh, no!
75
00:02:31,806 --> 00:02:33,675
They put a giant hole
in my windshield.
76
00:02:33,708 --> 00:02:35,277
You know, Geoff had
the same thing happen
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00:02:35,310 --> 00:02:36,845
to his crappy car
last night.
78
00:02:36,878 --> 00:02:38,947
Yeah, someone put a hole
in my windshield, too.
79
00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:40,181
And in my sense
of well-being.
80
00:02:40,215 --> 00:02:42,784
Two separate
vehicle attacks?
81
00:02:42,817 --> 00:02:43,952
(SCOFFS)
82
00:02:43,985 --> 00:02:45,487
There's only one
possible explanation.
83
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,188
Something reasonable
that ends here?
84
00:02:47,222 --> 00:02:50,292
A massive crime spree
has hit Jenkintown,
85
00:02:50,325 --> 00:02:52,193
and we have to do
something about it.
86
00:02:52,227 --> 00:02:54,463
ADULT ADAM: And so,
my mom did just that.
87
00:02:54,496 --> 00:02:56,531
Thank you for coming,
everyone.
88
00:02:56,565 --> 00:02:59,133
I've got
Officer Puchinski here
to give us some tips
89
00:02:59,167 --> 00:03:01,303
about how to deal
with this crime wave
90
00:03:01,336 --> 00:03:03,705
and make sure that nobody
gets decapitated.
91
00:03:03,738 --> 00:03:04,839
Decapitated?
92
00:03:04,873 --> 00:03:06,207
It's just a hole
in my windshield!
93
00:03:06,241 --> 00:03:08,176
Well, that's how it starts,
Geoffrey.
94
00:03:08,209 --> 00:03:09,444
Do you have any enemies?
95
00:03:09,478 --> 00:03:11,513
Well, the sun
is no friend of mine.
96
00:03:11,546 --> 00:03:12,614
I freckle up fierce.
97
00:03:12,647 --> 00:03:14,716
We're not talking about
your gross skin.
98
00:03:14,749 --> 00:03:15,984
We're talking about someone
99
00:03:16,017 --> 00:03:17,786
that might want
to separate your head
100
00:03:17,819 --> 00:03:18,987
from your shoulders
101
00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:20,689
and do
God knows what with it.
102
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:21,856
Somebody please do something!
103
00:03:21,890 --> 00:03:24,726
Officer, any leads on who
might lop off Geoff's head?
104
00:03:24,759 --> 00:03:26,695
Nope. But I suppose
you can start
105
00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:27,862
with a neighborhood watch.
106
00:03:27,896 --> 00:03:28,997
You know, pick a captain
107
00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:30,064
and walk around
the neighborhood.
108
00:03:30,098 --> 00:03:31,833
Well, then it's settled.
(CHUCKLES)
109
00:03:31,866 --> 00:03:33,702
Everyone will sleep
safely tonight
110
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,637
knowing that
Captain Beverly Goldberg
111
00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:36,805
is your champion of peace...
112
00:03:36,838 --> 00:03:38,206
JANE: I'll do it.
113
00:03:38,239 --> 00:03:40,575
ADULT ADAM:
It was our neighbor,
Jane Bales,
114
00:03:40,609 --> 00:03:42,076
the one person in town
115
00:03:42,110 --> 00:03:45,747
who was even
more Beverly Goldberg
than Beverly Goldberg.
116
00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:47,749
Oh. Jane.
117
00:03:47,782 --> 00:03:48,883
How cute.
118
00:03:48,917 --> 00:03:51,920
I think, though, everybody
agrees I should be captain
119
00:03:51,953 --> 00:03:53,922
because Beverly Goldberg
gets things done.
120
00:03:53,955 --> 00:03:55,990
Except the person
who really gets things done
121
00:03:56,024 --> 00:03:57,359
is Jane Bales.
122
00:03:57,392 --> 00:04:00,061
(LAUGHS) Well, she gets
'em done without a coaster
123
00:04:00,094 --> 00:04:01,530
(CHUCKLING) apparently.
124
00:04:01,563 --> 00:04:03,598
Let me tell you how Bevy G
gets things done.
125
00:04:03,632 --> 00:04:05,400
I'm the kinda lady
126
00:04:05,434 --> 00:04:08,737
who will return a bathing suit
without a receipt.
127
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:09,871
Big whoop.
128
00:04:09,904 --> 00:04:11,406
I returned a bathing suit
without a receipt
129
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,008
after wearing it for a year.
(ALL GASP)
130
00:04:14,042 --> 00:04:17,779
I once returned
just an elastic waistband
131
00:04:17,812 --> 00:04:19,881
to a store
I didn't even buy it from
132
00:04:19,914 --> 00:04:21,616
because that is what
kinda nightmare I am.
133
00:04:21,650 --> 00:04:22,851
I returned a one-piece
134
00:04:22,884 --> 00:04:26,020
I didn't even have
in my possession to a bank.
135
00:04:26,054 --> 00:04:29,090
Oh, yeah, I am a walking demon
on this Earth.
136
00:04:29,123 --> 00:04:30,359
(ALL GASP)
137
00:04:30,392 --> 00:04:32,694
Most importantly,
what exactly is your plan
138
00:04:32,727 --> 00:04:34,228
to keep
our neighborhood safe?
139
00:04:34,262 --> 00:04:36,931
I thought we would develop
some signals
140
00:04:36,965 --> 00:04:40,535
in case there are, uh,
cutthroats or marauders
141
00:04:40,569 --> 00:04:42,203
on the street,
142
00:04:42,236 --> 00:04:43,705
you know, like...
143
00:04:43,738 --> 00:04:47,442
(CAWING)
144
00:04:47,476 --> 00:04:49,310
Bird noises.
That's Beverly's plan.
145
00:04:49,344 --> 00:04:50,979
Here's mine.
146
00:04:51,012 --> 00:04:52,714
(ALL GASPING)
Can you just hold that?
147
00:04:52,747 --> 00:04:54,215
I've listed
10 different ways
148
00:04:54,248 --> 00:04:56,050
to keep
our neighborhood safe,
149
00:04:56,084 --> 00:04:58,487
from posting signs
to installing better lights.
150
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,722
So well researched.
Beautiful typography.
151
00:05:00,755 --> 00:05:01,923
Elegant, like her.
152
00:05:01,956 --> 00:05:03,925
Oh, shut your holes,
you gassy nags!
153
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:06,428
Wow. We should probably
vote right now.
154
00:05:06,461 --> 00:05:09,097
Or we can
postpone the vote
155
00:05:09,130 --> 00:05:11,666
until I can bedazzle
a poster board myself.
156
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:12,767
Yay! We're doing that.
157
00:05:12,801 --> 00:05:14,769
No. I'm not coming back here.
158
00:05:14,803 --> 00:05:17,338
Who wants this lady
as captain?
159
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,809
How dare you?
You old toads!
160
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:22,243
She has good plans, Bevy.
161
00:05:22,276 --> 00:05:23,512
Officer, I'm losing.
162
00:05:23,545 --> 00:05:26,681
Take out your gun
and make me captain.
No.
163
00:05:26,715 --> 00:05:28,583
While my mom
lost her bid for captain,
164
00:05:28,617 --> 00:05:31,920
my brother and I were hoping
to win big with our dad.
165
00:05:31,953 --> 00:05:34,288
Father, out of respect
for you and "Manimal,"
166
00:05:34,322 --> 00:05:35,490
we waited for
a commercial.
167
00:05:35,524 --> 00:05:36,591
Indeed.
168
00:05:36,625 --> 00:05:38,760
But the most important event
in human history,
169
00:05:38,793 --> 00:05:40,595
WrestleMania IV,
is happening,
170
00:05:40,629 --> 00:05:41,863
and we humbly seek
your help.
171
00:05:41,896 --> 00:05:44,265
This request
is merely financial.
172
00:05:44,298 --> 00:05:45,600
And since you know
we respect
173
00:05:45,634 --> 00:05:48,102
the enraging-yet-reasonable
wrestling ban
174
00:05:48,136 --> 00:05:50,004
due to broken lamps
and Barry's toe,
175
00:05:50,038 --> 00:05:51,305
which is healing
ahead of schedule...
176
00:05:51,339 --> 00:05:53,041
It is way not,
but such is life.
177
00:05:53,074 --> 00:05:57,712
...all we need is the measly
pay-per-view fee of $24.95
178
00:05:57,746 --> 00:06:00,615
to view
the aforementioned event
in the basement.
179
00:06:00,649 --> 00:06:02,316
To express our desires,
180
00:06:02,350 --> 00:06:04,453
we've put together
a music and dance
181
00:06:04,486 --> 00:06:07,456
laser-light extravaganza.
182
00:06:07,489 --> 00:06:08,690
(UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS)
* WrestleMania IV
183
00:06:08,723 --> 00:06:09,824
* WrestleMania
* WrestleMania IV
184
00:06:09,858 --> 00:06:10,892
* WrestleMania*
185
00:06:10,925 --> 00:06:12,861
The front row
will get wet.
186
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,362
Get that garbage bag
away from me.
187
00:06:14,395 --> 00:06:15,897
Wait, before you say no...
Yes.
188
00:06:15,930 --> 00:06:18,533
You cheap old bastard!
I've never liked you!
189
00:06:18,567 --> 00:06:19,701
Wait. What?
190
00:06:19,734 --> 00:06:21,069
Here you go.
191
00:06:21,102 --> 00:06:23,404
And, uh, throw it on
on the TV upstairs
so I can watch it, too.
192
00:06:23,438 --> 00:06:24,806
BOTH: Uh...
193
00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:26,074
And afterwards,
the three of us
194
00:06:26,107 --> 00:06:28,209
can head to Bookbinder's
for some crab,
make a night out of it.
195
00:06:28,242 --> 00:06:29,544
Dad, respectfully,
196
00:06:29,578 --> 00:06:31,145
did you fall off
the toilet again?
197
00:06:31,179 --> 00:06:33,414
Yeah, since when do you want
to watch wrestling
198
00:06:33,448 --> 00:06:34,983
or spend money
or be with us?
199
00:06:35,016 --> 00:06:36,485
Since now!
200
00:06:36,518 --> 00:06:39,220
Can't a dad have
a little bonding time
with his sons?
201
00:06:39,253 --> 00:06:41,322
A dad can,
but not our dad.
202
00:06:41,355 --> 00:06:43,257
Just buy the damn wrestling,
morons!
203
00:06:43,291 --> 00:06:45,794
There's our guy!
That feels right!
204
00:06:47,095 --> 00:06:49,030
Murray, you don't just
inject yourself
205
00:06:49,063 --> 00:06:50,765
into their lives
like it's normal.
206
00:06:50,799 --> 00:06:51,866
What's going on?
207
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:55,036
Remember that, uh,
dermatologist I saw last year?
208
00:06:55,069 --> 00:06:56,505
I knew I'd outlive you.
209
00:06:56,538 --> 00:06:58,540
No. My skin is perfect.
210
00:06:58,573 --> 00:07:01,042
But the doctor, not so much.
He's dead.
211
00:07:01,075 --> 00:07:02,744
Dr. Lewenstein?
212
00:07:02,777 --> 00:07:04,779
He was younger than you
and very active.
213
00:07:04,813 --> 00:07:06,114
Yeah, well,
it didn't matter.
214
00:07:06,147 --> 00:07:07,716
One day, he's camping
with his kids,
215
00:07:07,749 --> 00:07:09,551
the next day,
poof, he's gone.
216
00:07:09,584 --> 00:07:11,419
He always
had his shirt off.
217
00:07:11,452 --> 00:07:13,688
Abs like a xylophone.
We get it.
218
00:07:13,722 --> 00:07:15,690
The point is, if something
like that happened to me,
219
00:07:15,724 --> 00:07:18,860
my kids wouldn't even be able
to say that we went camping.
220
00:07:18,893 --> 00:07:20,394
Barry hates camping.
221
00:07:20,428 --> 00:07:22,196
He can barely poop indoors.
222
00:07:22,230 --> 00:07:24,966
Camping is just an example.
It could be anything.
223
00:07:24,999 --> 00:07:26,868
Otherwise, what are they
gonna say about me?
224
00:07:26,901 --> 00:07:29,070
That you had the decency
to keep your shirt on.
225
00:07:29,103 --> 00:07:30,404
And you're Bruce Lee?
226
00:07:30,438 --> 00:07:31,873
Look, you've been saying
all year
227
00:07:31,906 --> 00:07:33,942
how you want to make
some memories with the kids.
228
00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:35,476
Now's your chance.
229
00:07:35,510 --> 00:07:36,778
That's what I'm doing.
230
00:07:36,811 --> 00:07:40,048
I'm throwing away good money
to watch something I hate.
231
00:07:40,081 --> 00:07:42,416
That's a memory
that'll last forever.
232
00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:44,052
You wanna make it special?
233
00:07:44,085 --> 00:07:46,120
Take them to see it
in person.
234
00:07:46,154 --> 00:07:48,456
ADULT ADAM:
As our dad considered
taking us to WrestleMania,
235
00:07:48,489 --> 00:07:49,891
our mom wasn't gonna take
236
00:07:49,924 --> 00:07:52,293
being out-voted
as neighborhood watch captain.
237
00:07:52,326 --> 00:07:53,995
Thanks for the ride,
Mrs. G.
238
00:07:54,028 --> 00:07:56,430
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
239
00:07:56,464 --> 00:07:58,466
Oh, you're not here
to see Erica.
Get comfy.
240
00:07:58,499 --> 00:08:01,302
This is an old-fashioned
stakeout. Here.
241
00:08:01,335 --> 00:08:02,971
I made coffee
and hot dogs.
242
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:04,673
Oh, no, thank you.
243
00:08:04,706 --> 00:08:06,775
Hot dogs kind of jack up
my stomach,
244
00:08:06,808 --> 00:08:08,009
and also, what's happening
right now?
245
00:08:08,042 --> 00:08:09,443
See those idiots
over there?
246
00:08:09,477 --> 00:08:10,912
GEOFF: You mean my mom
and her friends?
247
00:08:10,945 --> 00:08:12,614
We're gonna make sure
those baked potatoes
248
00:08:12,647 --> 00:08:14,849
don't compromise the safety
of the entire neighborhood.
249
00:08:14,883 --> 00:08:18,252
So, we're like
the Neighborhood Watch Watch?
250
00:08:18,286 --> 00:08:19,453
For all we know,
251
00:08:19,487 --> 00:08:21,289
one of those shaved bears
could be the culprit.
252
00:08:21,322 --> 00:08:22,924
You mean, like, my mom
who I love?
253
00:08:22,957 --> 00:08:24,258
Quiet. Somebody's coming.
254
00:08:24,292 --> 00:08:25,927
Oh, no. Is it
the axe-wielding maniac?
255
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,662
I'll protect you!
256
00:08:27,696 --> 00:08:29,664
Hey, cheggit.
My boyfriend and mom
257
00:08:29,698 --> 00:08:31,499
are mashed together
in the front seat of a car.
258
00:08:31,532 --> 00:08:32,667
We're on duty,
259
00:08:32,701 --> 00:08:34,703
so beat it
before you blow our cover!
260
00:08:34,736 --> 00:08:37,471
Yeah, I hate to disturb
whatever this is,
261
00:08:37,505 --> 00:08:38,840
but, um,
what are you doing?
262
00:08:38,873 --> 00:08:39,974
She tricked me into spying
263
00:08:40,008 --> 00:08:41,109
on the neighborhood watch
with her.
264
00:08:41,142 --> 00:08:43,011
Oh. Well, here's an idea
for a big boy.
265
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:44,646
Come with me.
266
00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:46,214
Don't you dare
open that door,
267
00:08:46,247 --> 00:08:47,649
or so help me,
you're off the squad.
268
00:08:47,682 --> 00:08:49,317
Oh, no. Then there wouldn't
be a squad.
269
00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:51,352
Erica, get in or get out.
270
00:08:51,385 --> 00:08:52,721
Oh, tough one.
271
00:08:53,521 --> 00:08:54,555
Dammit, they made us!
272
00:08:54,589 --> 00:08:55,824
Beverly?
273
00:08:55,857 --> 00:08:58,159
We rang your bell
to come join us.
274
00:08:58,192 --> 00:08:59,493
Oh.
275
00:08:59,527 --> 00:09:02,964
Well, I was busy enjoying
a cool afternoon
276
00:09:02,997 --> 00:09:04,365
with my daughter's
boyfriend.
277
00:09:04,398 --> 00:09:06,134
Are you okay, Geoffrey?
No.
278
00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:08,502
Strange, you girls are going
East to West.
279
00:09:08,536 --> 00:09:09,738
The light's not as good.
280
00:09:09,771 --> 00:09:10,839
You know,
if I were captain...
281
00:09:10,872 --> 00:09:13,307
Well, you can stop
right there.
Because you're not.
282
00:09:13,341 --> 00:09:15,243
Well, I'm going this way.
Who's with me?
283
00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:18,012
Bevy, Jane's the captain.
284
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,581
Well, you've left me
no choice.
285
00:09:20,615 --> 00:09:23,051
I am starting
my own Neighborhood Watch.
286
00:09:24,118 --> 00:09:26,220
Come on, Geoff!
287
00:09:26,254 --> 00:09:29,090
Sorry, Mama.
I guess I got to go
with my girlfriend's mom.
288
00:09:29,123 --> 00:09:30,859
See ya at dinner,
I hope.
289
00:09:30,892 --> 00:09:32,994
ADULT ADAM:
As our mom was starting
her own watch,
290
00:09:33,027 --> 00:09:36,264
our dad and Pops were waiting
in line for the big event.
291
00:09:36,297 --> 00:09:37,899
This is great, Mur.
292
00:09:37,932 --> 00:09:40,201
Seeing the sweaty
muscle men live
293
00:09:40,234 --> 00:09:43,004
is way better than
watching it on TV.
294
00:09:43,037 --> 00:09:44,505
ADULT ADAM:
This was it.
295
00:09:44,538 --> 00:09:45,707
My dad
was finally gonna spend
296
00:09:45,740 --> 00:09:47,275
his hard-earned money
on us kids
297
00:09:47,308 --> 00:09:49,210
to make a memory
that would last a lifetime.
298
00:09:49,610 --> 00:09:50,679
Or not.
299
00:09:50,712 --> 00:09:51,880
Sold out?
300
00:09:51,913 --> 00:09:53,447
This makes no sense.
301
00:09:53,481 --> 00:09:54,783
What are we gonna do?
302
00:09:54,816 --> 00:09:56,084
The only thing
we can do,
303
00:09:56,117 --> 00:09:58,452
that's go home
and never try again.
304
00:09:58,486 --> 00:10:01,756
No, Murray,
you can't stop now!
305
00:10:02,423 --> 00:10:03,925
What about a scalper?
306
00:10:03,958 --> 00:10:06,961
(GROANS) Stop coming up
with solutions!
307
00:10:06,995 --> 00:10:09,798
Oh!
Looks like we got a couple
wrestling fans right here.
308
00:10:09,831 --> 00:10:12,566
How would you like
some primo seats
to WrestleMania
309
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,402
and/or
some heavily discounted,
310
00:10:14,435 --> 00:10:15,737
unlicensed merchandise?
311
00:10:15,770 --> 00:10:17,872
Who's "Ander the Gaint"?
312
00:10:17,906 --> 00:10:20,008
The misspelling makes it
a collector's item.
313
00:10:20,041 --> 00:10:21,409
Just three
of your best seats.
314
00:10:21,442 --> 00:10:22,777
You are in my luck,
my friend.
315
00:10:22,811 --> 00:10:24,245
I got three
in the third row.
316
00:10:24,278 --> 00:10:27,148
And to see those jacked,
glistening bodies that close,
317
00:10:27,181 --> 00:10:29,450
it's only gonna set you back
400 bucks.
318
00:10:29,483 --> 00:10:31,452
(GRUNTS)
Just give me the tickets.
319
00:10:32,754 --> 00:10:34,823
Cage-side seats?
This is amazing!
320
00:10:34,856 --> 00:10:36,991
We're gonna have
the greatest day
of our lives!
321
00:10:37,025 --> 00:10:38,993
Hell, yeah, we are!
Wait. You're going, too?
322
00:10:39,027 --> 00:10:41,896
Yeah. I wouldn't let you go
to Wrestletown without me.
WrestleMania.
323
00:10:41,930 --> 00:10:44,332
I can't wait to see
Hunk Hoggins.
Hulk Hogan.
324
00:10:44,365 --> 00:10:45,734
And Andy Macho
Dan Rather.
325
00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:47,101
Randy "Macho Man" Savage.
326
00:10:47,135 --> 00:10:48,336
All the greats!
327
00:10:49,137 --> 00:10:52,006
Okay, I don't know
what Dad's up to,
328
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,842
but he's definitely
gonna embarrass us
329
00:10:53,875 --> 00:10:56,410
in front of those taste-makers
and men-about-town
330
00:10:56,444 --> 00:10:59,513
who attend professional
wrestling events.
What do we do?
331
00:10:59,547 --> 00:11:01,449
He did buy us
amazing seats,
332
00:11:01,482 --> 00:11:03,017
so there's only
one thing to do.
333
00:11:03,051 --> 00:11:04,285
ADULT ADAM:
Support our father.
334
00:11:04,318 --> 00:11:05,353
Ditch him.
335
00:11:05,386 --> 00:11:06,620
ADULT ADAM: Or that.
336
00:11:08,389 --> 00:11:10,158
It had been one day
since our mom decided
337
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:13,928
she was going to compete with
Jane Bales' neighborhood watch
and form her own.
338
00:11:13,962 --> 00:11:17,665
Welcome to the first meeting
of the newer, much better
neighborhood watch.
339
00:11:17,698 --> 00:11:19,367
I'm only here
to do my laundry.
340
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,769
Roll. Don't fold.
341
00:11:20,802 --> 00:11:21,970
Now, I've gone over
this map,
342
00:11:22,003 --> 00:11:23,071
and I have determined
343
00:11:23,104 --> 00:11:25,506
that all of the car break-ins
in this neighborhood
344
00:11:25,539 --> 00:11:27,475
have happened on this block.
345
00:11:27,508 --> 00:11:28,709
Oh, no! A pattern!
346
00:11:28,743 --> 00:11:31,079
It's two pushpins, Geoff.
You see it, too!
347
00:11:31,112 --> 00:11:32,881
Which is why I acquired
348
00:11:32,914 --> 00:11:35,483
this state-of-the-art
surveillance technology.
349
00:11:35,516 --> 00:11:36,818
That's how
the CIA does it.
350
00:11:36,851 --> 00:11:38,319
Next, our cutting-edge
351
00:11:38,352 --> 00:11:40,321
cordless communication
devices.
352
00:11:40,354 --> 00:11:42,223
Adam's
G.I. Joe walkie-talkies?
353
00:11:42,256 --> 00:11:43,457
Mine's shaped like
a cobra!
354
00:11:43,491 --> 00:11:45,526
And finally,
official jackets.
355
00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:47,361
GEOFF:
So many unnecessary words!
356
00:11:47,395 --> 00:11:49,864
And yet, not enough to explain
how stupid this is.
357
00:11:49,898 --> 00:11:50,932
Oh, it says
"Geoff."
358
00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:52,333
They're never
gonna see us coming.
359
00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:54,769
Hey, look,
Beverly's coming.
360
00:11:54,803 --> 00:11:56,670
Good afternoon,
Jane Bales
361
00:11:56,704 --> 00:11:58,840
and her crew of
puffy-faced misfits.
362
00:11:58,873 --> 00:12:00,008
Beverly, give it up.
363
00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:02,543
The neighborhood
does not need two watches.
364
00:12:02,576 --> 00:12:05,046
I agree.
And I accept
your resignation
365
00:12:05,079 --> 00:12:06,848
and embarrassing
tearful apology.
366
00:12:06,881 --> 00:12:08,883
Are you okay, Geoffrey?
I don't know.
367
00:12:08,917 --> 00:12:10,651
Excuse me a sec.
(STATIC HISSES)
368
00:12:10,684 --> 00:12:13,687
Erica, go for Chief of
Enforcement Bev. Over?
(STATIC HISSES)
369
00:12:13,721 --> 00:12:15,756
Mom, I told you I don't
want any part of this.
370
00:12:15,790 --> 00:12:17,591
(STATIC HISSES)
What's that?
A disturbance. Over?
371
00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:18,759
(STATIC HISSES)
ERICA:
Please leave me alone.
372
00:12:18,793 --> 00:12:20,394
(STATIC HISSES)
BEVERLY: A 521?
373
00:12:20,428 --> 00:12:21,996
Copy that. Over!
(STATIC HISSES)
374
00:12:22,030 --> 00:12:24,232
You keep saying "over,"
but then it's not over.
375
00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:25,800
(STATIC HISSES)
Chief of Enforcement
signing off.
376
00:12:25,834 --> 00:12:26,901
(STATIC HISSES)
377
00:12:26,935 --> 00:12:28,269
Well, we must go.
378
00:12:28,302 --> 00:12:30,671
And while you're
standing around
letting your bodies go to rot,
379
00:12:30,704 --> 00:12:33,107
we'll be keeping mayhem
off the streets.
380
00:12:33,141 --> 00:12:35,109
Lock and load, Schwartz!
Load what?
381
00:12:35,143 --> 00:12:37,478
Just follow me.
Okay, then.
382
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:39,347
Bye, Mom.
383
00:12:39,380 --> 00:12:40,414
Take a bag of nuts.
384
00:12:40,448 --> 00:12:43,017
Don't talk to her.
385
00:12:43,051 --> 00:12:44,886
ADULT ADAM:
While our mom headed out
to find crime,
386
00:12:44,919 --> 00:12:46,420
my brother and I
were planning
387
00:12:46,454 --> 00:12:47,956
to lose our dad
at WrestleMania.
388
00:12:47,989 --> 00:12:50,224
Okay, let's go over
Operation Ditch Dad
389
00:12:50,258 --> 00:12:51,425
one more time.
Okay!
390
00:12:51,459 --> 00:12:52,593
When we arrive,
391
00:12:52,626 --> 00:12:54,228
we immediately ask Dad
392
00:12:54,262 --> 00:12:56,764
to buy us a ton
of WrestleMania merch.
393
00:12:56,797 --> 00:12:58,732
And then we head over
to this food station
394
00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:01,802
and have Dad buy us each
a giant 64-ounce Slushie.
395
00:13:01,836 --> 00:13:03,337
Then his bladder will fill,
396
00:13:03,371 --> 00:13:05,974
and he'll have to rush
to the restroom.
397
00:13:06,007 --> 00:13:08,542
At that point, we go to
the other side of the cage
398
00:13:08,576 --> 00:13:10,278
and exchange our tickets
399
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:12,146
with some jacked
wrestling bros.
400
00:13:12,180 --> 00:13:14,215
Then Dad will return
to his seat,
401
00:13:14,248 --> 00:13:17,986
see the jacked bros,
be enraged and confused,
402
00:13:18,019 --> 00:13:19,820
and decide
to take a nap in his car.
403
00:13:19,854 --> 00:13:21,189
It's utterly foolproof.
404
00:13:21,222 --> 00:13:22,323
You know, unless our dad
405
00:13:22,356 --> 00:13:24,258
actually wants
to spend time with us.
406
00:13:24,292 --> 00:13:27,128
We're talking about our dad
actually being a dad?
407
00:13:27,161 --> 00:13:29,230
And maybe we should actually
enjoy the day
408
00:13:29,263 --> 00:13:31,165
as if we were regular kids
who know love
409
00:13:31,199 --> 00:13:32,901
from a male figure
in their lives.
410
00:13:32,934 --> 00:13:36,470
And he won't embarrass us
and it'll actually be fun?
411
00:13:36,504 --> 00:13:38,472
Hey, hey, hey!
Let's do this!
412
00:13:38,506 --> 00:13:40,108
Dad?
What the hell, man?
413
00:13:40,141 --> 00:13:42,443
I've been watching wrestling.
I love "Ding Dong" Randy.
414
00:13:42,476 --> 00:13:44,578
It's "King Kong" Bundy.
415
00:13:44,612 --> 00:13:47,148
And why are you wearing
Erica's old bathing suit?
416
00:13:47,181 --> 00:13:49,183
'Cause it's what
a good dad does.
417
00:13:49,217 --> 00:13:51,719
Here, one of you
Hulk-a-mannequins
hold my keys. (CLICKS TONGUE)
418
00:13:51,752 --> 00:13:53,087
So we stick
with the plan?
419
00:13:53,121 --> 00:13:54,355
We stick
with the plan.
420
00:13:54,388 --> 00:13:55,990
And maybe get him a robe
on the way out.
421
00:13:56,024 --> 00:13:58,859
As we were hoping to avoid
the most embarrassing dad
alive,
422
00:13:58,893 --> 00:14:00,461
our mom was dead set
423
00:14:00,494 --> 00:14:02,496
on proving her value
as watch captain.
424
00:14:02,530 --> 00:14:04,632
Please tell me
you're here
to call a truce.
425
00:14:04,665 --> 00:14:05,766
And that I can have
my son back.
426
00:14:05,799 --> 00:14:07,435
Or did you come here
to call us
beefy jelly-bellies
427
00:14:07,468 --> 00:14:08,502
and shame us?
428
00:14:08,536 --> 00:14:10,638
Virginia was closest.
(CHUCKLES)
429
00:14:10,671 --> 00:14:12,773
Here's a detailed list
of infractions
430
00:14:12,806 --> 00:14:14,375
your watch
failed to prevent.
431
00:14:14,408 --> 00:14:15,643
Beverly, just let it go.
432
00:14:15,676 --> 00:14:16,777
BEVERLY: November 8th,
433
00:14:16,810 --> 00:14:19,347
teens skateboarding in street
with boom boxes blaring.
434
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:21,215
BevWatch sprays them
with garden hose,
435
00:14:21,249 --> 00:14:23,617
assures them, "There's more
where that came from."
436
00:14:23,651 --> 00:14:25,186
You're just being petty
and jealous.
437
00:14:25,219 --> 00:14:27,121
When it comes to the safety
of this neighborhood,
438
00:14:27,155 --> 00:14:28,856
there is no length
I won't go to.
439
00:14:28,889 --> 00:14:29,958
Stop everything.
440
00:14:29,991 --> 00:14:31,892
I just discovered
my car's windshield
441
00:14:31,926 --> 00:14:33,494
had a rock
tossed through it!
442
00:14:33,527 --> 00:14:35,829
Damn it! I need to
get back out there.
443
00:14:35,863 --> 00:14:37,165
I can't believe
I wasted time
444
00:14:37,198 --> 00:14:38,766
talking to you
haggard pumpkins!
445
00:14:38,799 --> 00:14:39,867
No need.
446
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,069
Because I think
you'll discover
447
00:14:41,102 --> 00:14:42,703
the person
who committed this crime
448
00:14:42,736 --> 00:14:45,506
is none other
than Beverly Goldberg.
449
00:14:45,539 --> 00:14:46,574
(ALL GASP)
450
00:14:46,607 --> 00:14:48,576
I don't think I like
what you're implying, Jane.
451
00:14:48,609 --> 00:14:49,777
And there was
a note attached.
452
00:14:51,645 --> 00:14:53,347
(ALL GASP)
BEVERLY: Wait.
453
00:14:53,381 --> 00:14:54,848
You all think
that I would do this?
454
00:14:54,882 --> 00:14:57,085
It is something
you might say.
Have said.
455
00:14:57,118 --> 00:14:58,852
Yeah. Like a lot.
In front of
our children.
456
00:14:58,886 --> 00:15:02,023
In that case, um,
(BLEEP) you...
(ALL GASP)
457
00:15:02,056 --> 00:15:04,925
...and your (BLEEP) frazzled
(BLEEP) faces.
458
00:15:05,659 --> 00:15:07,895
I know that doesn't
help my case.
459
00:15:07,928 --> 00:15:09,397
But (BLEEP) all of you.
460
00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:11,099
ADULT ADAM:
As my mom felt set up,
461
00:15:11,132 --> 00:15:13,234
my brother and I
were ready for a smackdown.
462
00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:15,003
Holy crap!
463
00:15:15,036 --> 00:15:17,071
Dad, these seats
are amazing.
464
00:15:17,105 --> 00:15:18,906
And Hulk Hogan
and Andre the Giant
465
00:15:18,939 --> 00:15:21,875
are about to face off
in arguably
the most famous match
466
00:15:21,909 --> 00:15:23,911
in wrestling history,
now or ever!
467
00:15:23,944 --> 00:15:26,247
(WHOOPS)
Wrestling with my boys!
468
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,349
Coming off the top rope
for a hug!
469
00:15:28,382 --> 00:15:30,118
(LAUGHING) Whoa.
Mm!
470
00:15:30,151 --> 00:15:31,585
That was
a fun interaction.
471
00:15:31,619 --> 00:15:35,023
Dad's being super weird
and affectionate,
and I kinda love it.
472
00:15:35,056 --> 00:15:36,890
He's being the father
we've always wanted.
473
00:15:36,924 --> 00:15:38,092
It's really off-putting.
474
00:15:38,126 --> 00:15:39,860
Yo, I think
you're in our seats.
475
00:15:39,893 --> 00:15:41,962
Nah, nah, nah, pal.
We're all good.
476
00:15:41,996 --> 00:15:43,164
These are fake.
477
00:15:43,197 --> 00:15:45,033
No, they're not.
(SCOFFS)
478
00:15:45,066 --> 00:15:46,100
Oh, balls!
479
00:15:46,134 --> 00:15:49,103
WhistleMania,
a whistling competition.
480
00:15:49,137 --> 00:15:50,471
What? Whistling?
481
00:15:50,504 --> 00:15:53,274
That's for tea kettles
and letting a lady
know she's pretty.
482
00:15:53,307 --> 00:15:54,342
Come on. Let's go.
483
00:15:54,375 --> 00:15:56,144
No! No way!
We're not leaving.
484
00:15:56,177 --> 00:15:57,445
I'm getting security.
485
00:15:57,478 --> 00:16:00,281
What is happening?
Are we getting kicked out of
WrestleMania IV?
486
00:16:00,314 --> 00:16:01,815
There's the Hulkster!
Go, Hulk!
487
00:16:01,849 --> 00:16:02,916
Whoo!
488
00:16:02,950 --> 00:16:04,818
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
Oh! It's starting!
489
00:16:04,852 --> 00:16:06,154
And we're gonna
miss it all!
490
00:16:06,187 --> 00:16:09,157
And to think,
we actually felt guilty
about ditching you!
491
00:16:09,190 --> 00:16:11,792
Wait, you were gonna ditch me
even though
I bought you tickets?
492
00:16:11,825 --> 00:16:13,827
You didn't buy us tickets.
These are fakes.
493
00:16:13,861 --> 00:16:16,097
If you really wanted
to spend time with us,
494
00:16:16,130 --> 00:16:17,465
you'd know
we hate whistling.
495
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,666
Here comes
Andre the Giant!
496
00:16:18,699 --> 00:16:20,301
Oh, man, Hulk's
gonna crush you, bro!
497
00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:21,902
You wanna know
why I did it?
498
00:16:21,935 --> 00:16:23,704
Because I had a health thing,
okay?
499
00:16:24,672 --> 00:16:26,507
My doctor
scared the hell out of me.
500
00:16:26,540 --> 00:16:28,176
Wait. What?
Dad, are you okay?
501
00:16:28,209 --> 00:16:29,543
I'm fine.
502
00:16:29,577 --> 00:16:32,146
But it made me realize
I'm not gonna be
around forever,
503
00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:34,815
and I wanted to make
some memories with you guys,
504
00:16:34,848 --> 00:16:35,849
at least one memory.
505
00:16:38,886 --> 00:16:41,155
Sir, I'm gonna have
to ask you to come with me.
506
00:16:41,189 --> 00:16:43,524
Well, since you were gonna
ditch me,
507
00:16:43,557 --> 00:16:45,693
I can assume
you'll find a ride home.
508
00:16:45,726 --> 00:16:47,695
Ohh!
That had to hurt!
509
00:16:47,728 --> 00:16:49,130
(MAN LAUGHS)
510
00:16:49,163 --> 00:16:51,299
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
511
00:16:52,833 --> 00:16:55,203
ADULT ADAM:
Our mom had been accused
of a crime,
512
00:16:55,236 --> 00:16:56,670
and she wasn't
going to let it stand.
513
00:16:56,704 --> 00:16:59,607
Thank you all for coming
and thank you once again
to my brother-in-arms,
514
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,109
Officer Puchinski.
515
00:17:01,142 --> 00:17:04,612
Well, I assume we're here
so you can fess up
to cracking my car window.
516
00:17:04,645 --> 00:17:06,747
Oh, I did crack something,
Jane.
517
00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:08,316
I cracked the case.
518
00:17:08,349 --> 00:17:09,650
(WOMEN GASP)
Yeah. That's right.
519
00:17:09,683 --> 00:17:12,786
The person who broke
the windows was
520
00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:14,021
this guy.
(ALL GASP)
521
00:17:14,054 --> 00:17:15,289
GEOFF: A pinecone?
522
00:17:15,323 --> 00:17:17,391
And it would've gotten away
with it if it weren't for you.
523
00:17:17,425 --> 00:17:19,160
Please. I mean, this is really
who you want
524
00:17:19,193 --> 00:17:20,528
leading
your neighborhood watch?
525
00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:21,829
Both Ginzy and Geoff
526
00:17:21,862 --> 00:17:24,498
parked underneath the giant
pine tree out front.
527
00:17:24,532 --> 00:17:26,467
The autumn breeze loosened
one of the cones,
528
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,602
and... Whammo!
Broken glass.
529
00:17:28,636 --> 00:17:29,837
That does make sense.
530
00:17:29,870 --> 00:17:32,005
Of course! Pinecones!
They're nature's rocks!
531
00:17:32,039 --> 00:17:33,707
Rocks are nat...
Never mind.
532
00:17:33,741 --> 00:17:35,743
Okay, but that doesn't explain
who wrote the note
533
00:17:35,776 --> 00:17:38,146
with the colorful
Bev language, hmm?
534
00:17:38,179 --> 00:17:39,547
As you may not know,
535
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:42,750
I set up Adam's video camera
to record our front yard,
536
00:17:42,783 --> 00:17:44,017
and... (GASPS) Oh, my!
537
00:17:44,051 --> 00:17:45,719
I think I have it
right here.
538
00:17:47,288 --> 00:17:49,190
ADAM: Oh, yeah,
Adam is whacking
539
00:17:49,223 --> 00:17:50,424
his, um, opponent,
and I...
BEVERLY: Nope, not this.
540
00:17:51,459 --> 00:17:52,560
(TAPE FAST-FORWARDING)
541
00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:53,727
Okay. Here...
Here we go.
542
00:17:53,761 --> 00:17:55,263
There's Jane's car.
543
00:17:55,296 --> 00:17:56,864
And what have we here?
544
00:17:56,897 --> 00:17:58,166
There's Jane.
545
00:17:58,199 --> 00:17:59,233
(ALL GASP)
546
00:17:59,267 --> 00:18:00,601
You vandalized
your own car.
547
00:18:00,634 --> 00:18:03,171
Damn right she did,
to frame me!
548
00:18:03,204 --> 00:18:05,072
Fine! It's true!
549
00:18:05,105 --> 00:18:06,307
(LAUGHING)
550
00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:07,875
She admitted it!
Bev wins!
551
00:18:07,908 --> 00:18:11,679
I'm sorry. I just felt
so threatened by you!
552
00:18:11,712 --> 00:18:13,714
You are
so smart and cunning,
553
00:18:13,747 --> 00:18:16,049
and you were gonna steal
the neighborhood watch
from me.
554
00:18:16,083 --> 00:18:17,718
I had to do something!
555
00:18:17,751 --> 00:18:20,188
You thought I was gonna
steal the watch?
556
00:18:21,555 --> 00:18:24,292
That is the sweetest thing
I've ever heard.
557
00:18:24,325 --> 00:18:25,426
Is it?
558
00:18:25,459 --> 00:18:27,795
I mean, you are
the neighborhood badass.
559
00:18:27,828 --> 00:18:31,098
I just wanted to walk
in your shoes for a moment.
560
00:18:31,131 --> 00:18:33,767
You would destroy
your own property
for power?
561
00:18:34,468 --> 00:18:35,603
(BEVERLY EXHALES SHARPLY)
562
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:38,105
That is the kind of person
I need on my watch.
563
00:18:38,138 --> 00:18:39,940
Is it?
What are you saying?
564
00:18:39,973 --> 00:18:41,309
I'm saying,
565
00:18:41,342 --> 00:18:43,977
let's join forces
and teach each other
566
00:18:44,011 --> 00:18:46,314
how to be nightmares
together.
567
00:18:46,347 --> 00:18:47,948
I would love that.
568
00:18:47,981 --> 00:18:51,219
(HALL & OATES'
PRIVATE EYES PLAYS)
569
00:18:51,252 --> 00:18:53,454
Oh, get over here,
you moldy old peaches.
570
00:18:53,487 --> 00:18:54,855
(LAUGHTER)
571
00:18:54,888 --> 00:18:57,391
Aww. Also,
everything about this
seems wrong.
572
00:18:57,425 --> 00:18:59,126
Goodbye forever.
573
00:18:59,159 --> 00:19:00,928
ADULT ADAM:
While my mom and Jane
were coming together,
574
00:19:00,961 --> 00:19:03,464
our trip to WrestleMania
was falling apart.
575
00:19:03,497 --> 00:19:05,999
I can't believe we're missing
the greatest wrestling match
576
00:19:06,033 --> 00:19:08,168
in the history
of humankind.
577
00:19:08,202 --> 00:19:11,004
And I can't believe Dad
just wanted
to spend time with us.
578
00:19:11,038 --> 00:19:12,973
It's not just that.
579
00:19:13,006 --> 00:19:15,108
He went to something
he hated for us,
580
00:19:15,142 --> 00:19:17,811
and instead,
we body-slammed
his heart.
581
00:19:17,845 --> 00:19:19,112
(CLEARS THROAT)
582
00:19:19,146 --> 00:19:20,514
I couldn't help,
but overhear.
583
00:19:20,548 --> 00:19:22,583
The Hulkster?
Hulk Hogan?
584
00:19:22,616 --> 00:19:24,752
Listen, brother.
He knows we're brothers.
585
00:19:24,785 --> 00:19:26,954
Your dad sounds like
a pretty good father, brother.
586
00:19:26,987 --> 00:19:28,956
No, he's our dad.
587
00:19:28,989 --> 00:19:30,157
We're brothers.
588
00:19:30,190 --> 00:19:31,459
I'm your biggest fan,
589
00:19:31,492 --> 00:19:33,193
but you sound like an idiot
right now.
(CHUCKLES)
590
00:19:33,227 --> 00:19:35,363
Look, if your dad wants
to make an effort,
591
00:19:35,396 --> 00:19:36,664
you should, too.
592
00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:38,432
You've only got one father,
brother.
593
00:19:38,466 --> 00:19:40,801
Whoa, he drops fools
and knowledge!
594
00:19:40,834 --> 00:19:42,636
I'm on it, Hulk!
Thank you!
595
00:19:42,670 --> 00:19:43,704
Scram!
596
00:19:43,737 --> 00:19:45,273
ADULT ADAM:
Yep, thanks to Hulkster,
597
00:19:45,306 --> 00:19:47,841
me and Barry knew exactly
what we needed to do.
598
00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:49,410
Hey, Dad.
599
00:19:50,043 --> 00:19:51,178
Can we hang with you?
600
00:19:51,211 --> 00:19:53,547
Whatever.
It's a free country.
601
00:19:53,581 --> 00:19:55,483
We just want
to let you know,
602
00:19:55,516 --> 00:19:57,217
we're sorry
we were gonna ditch you.
603
00:19:57,251 --> 00:20:00,421
And even though
we didn't see the match,
604
00:20:00,454 --> 00:20:02,956
we did see something
even better...
605
00:20:02,990 --> 00:20:05,192
You trying to get
into wrestling for us.
606
00:20:05,225 --> 00:20:06,594
But there's one thing
we love
607
00:20:06,627 --> 00:20:08,228
even more than wrestling...
608
00:20:08,262 --> 00:20:09,430
You.
609
00:20:10,298 --> 00:20:13,000
So let's do stuff together,
610
00:20:13,033 --> 00:20:15,035
no matter
how embarrassing.
611
00:20:16,370 --> 00:20:17,871
You know what?
612
00:20:17,905 --> 00:20:19,340
I guess I'd like that.
613
00:20:19,373 --> 00:20:21,141
* Private eyes *
614
00:20:21,174 --> 00:20:23,577
ADULT ADAM: That's the thing
about spending time
with your family.
615
00:20:23,611 --> 00:20:26,213
Sometimes the smallest change
will make
the biggest difference.
616
00:20:27,448 --> 00:20:30,584
And sometimes it takes
a no-holds-barred grudge match
617
00:20:30,618 --> 00:20:32,620
to find out
who your friends really are.
618
00:20:33,854 --> 00:20:35,523
We never went
to see WrestleMania again,
619
00:20:35,556 --> 00:20:37,491
but we started
a new tradition.
620
00:20:37,525 --> 00:20:39,593
Every year,
we'd sit with our dad
621
00:20:39,627 --> 00:20:41,362
and watch it on TV.
622
00:20:41,395 --> 00:20:44,064
And looking back,
it was the best.
623
00:20:44,097 --> 00:20:46,567
Because it's those
everyday moments
you take for granted
624
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,236
that truly, truly
mean the most.
625
00:20:49,269 --> 00:20:50,404
Body slam!
626
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:57,210
BOTH: Adam is whacking...
Um, whacking his, um opponent.
627
00:20:57,244 --> 00:20:58,946
MURRAY: All right, well,
let's go.
628
00:20:58,979 --> 00:21:00,047
Turn this off.
629
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,214
You can't turn it off.
630
00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:03,283
You can't turn it off!
631
00:21:04,818 --> 00:21:09,189
Okay, this is a Royal Rumble,
no-holds-barred cage match.
632
00:21:09,222 --> 00:21:12,793
You can expect no mercy
and several butt hats.
633
00:21:12,826 --> 00:21:15,496
Great. One thing,
I brought backup.
634
00:21:16,296 --> 00:21:18,432
Tag me in, brother.
635
00:21:18,466 --> 00:21:20,734
Hulk Hogan?
Oh, no.
636
00:21:20,768 --> 00:21:22,870
Now go wreck my brother,
brother.
637
00:21:22,903 --> 00:21:25,072
The Hulkster obliges,
brother.
638
00:21:25,105 --> 00:21:27,240
No! Self-sleeper hold!
639
00:21:27,274 --> 00:21:29,510
(BODY THUDS)
You got a weird brother,
brother.
47392
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