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1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:02,295
Okay, what?
2
00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:05,130
BLAKE: Have you seen these pieces?
3
00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:06,807
ADAM: The breast pieces?
4
00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:08,600
- No.
- Let's finish the puzzle,
5
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,894
- then you can keep the little booby pieces.
- Okay.
6
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:12,266
Yeah, I do have 'em.
7
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,065
Because I've really got into breasts lately.
8
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,480
And also as of... The past, as well.
9
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:18,986
Yo, guys.
10
00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,779
Just got a crazy harsh email
11
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,401
from Del, the landlord,
about rent being late.
12
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:24,567
Okay, so what? Rent's always late.
13
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:25,822
It's like our signature move.
14
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:29,030
Yeah, man. It's like our Shakira
belly dance, basically, come on.
15
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:30,451
It is like a Shakira belly...
16
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,116
You still got it.
17
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,453
And then the butt cheeks
follow it with her...
18
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:39,377
And secondly, Del freaking loves us.
19
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:42,175
And I don't know about you guys,
but specifically, he loves my guts.
20
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:45,136
Let's re-invite him over, crush a 30 rack,
21
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:48,178
Blake will do some Family Guy
impressions. He loves those.
22
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:51,181
Unfortunately, in the email
he specifically said,
23
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:52,890
"Do not try inviting me over
24
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,064
"to crush a 30 pack and do
Family Guy impressions."
25
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:57,232
So we need the rent, like, nowzers.
26
00:00:57,683 --> 00:01:00,311
There's a bunch of stuff laying around
the house that we never use.
27
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:04,740
- You thinking garage sale?
- No.
28
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,742
- ALL: Oh!
- He wasn't looking!
29
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:08,910
Whoo!
30
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:11,239
- Brutus beefcake coming at you!
- Oh!
31
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,540
BOTH: Ahhh!
32
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,208
- That was cool.
- That was cool, dude.
33
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:16,706
BLAKE: Ow, that actually hurt.
34
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:19,004
Oh, my goodness!
35
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,080
ADAM: We got a crowd.
36
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,382
BLAKE: I told you people'd
show up. Get a donation.
37
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,380
What, is that a hundo? Where'd you get that?
38
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:26,177
We got to make 'em think
we're worth the big bucks, baby.
39
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,425
My grandma gave it to me.
40
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:28,721
Cool, safety first.
41
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,094
- Hey, give me that!
- Did he take the 100?
42
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,425
- Yep, they took it.
- That's 100 bucks.
43
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:32,760
- Don't worry.
- Get 'em.
44
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:35,096
- I got this.
- Hell yeah.
45
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:36,430
- Oh!
- (CAR ALARM BLARES)
46
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,641
Everybody inside! Go inside.
47
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,317
ADAM: Go. Go inside.
ANDERS: I can't.
48
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:43,270
- Go around. Go around the block.
- Get the keys, get the keys.
49
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:44,354
Go around back!
50
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:48,500
Ripped By mstoll
51
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,651
(SINGING) I'm fresh
52
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:52,908
You gotta, you gotta
You gotta, gotta
53
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,740
Gotta be fresh
54
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:59,211
We really could've used that 100, Adam.
55
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,459
- Yeah
- It's cool. We'll just ride it off.
56
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:02,957
Did you say, "Ride it off“?
57
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,292
Yeah, it's like a tax thing, you know?
58
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,548
You just ride it off. Ride off the 100.
59
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:11,598
Well, whatever. I know those little brats
definitely rode off with your 100.
60
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,095
Yeah. We should kill 'em.
61
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,222
Yo, yo, yo, dude.
62
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,518
Dude, would you mind taking
a picture of us, yo?
63
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,145
Okay.
64
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:21,646
Dude, this is crazy, man.
I'm such a big fan of yours, man. Yeah!
65
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,398
What are you a fan of?
How stinky his farts are?
66
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,896
(CHUCKLES) For real, the way
you poot, it ain't cute.
67
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,986
You haven't seen this dude's show, yo?
68
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,367
It is so dope, man.
This guy's an all-time legend.
69
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:31,489
This dude is dope?
70
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:32,694
Aw, man.
71
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:34,996
Yeah, boy!
72
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,665
What is he... You have a show?
73
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,744
Only the most popular one
on Rancho Cable access.
74
00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:43,168
- Check it out, man.
- Welcome to Rancho.
75
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,710
Today, we're at Hamilton Springs Park
76
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,386
- in Southern Rancho...
- I've been there.
77
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:52,214
...which is rumored to
have some nice benches.
78
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,765
What a nice bench.
79
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,894
If Bill has a show, we should
definitely have a show.
80
00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,562
But ours will be better
'cause we'll get, like,
81
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:02,391
cool, famous people like
Jean-Claude Van Damme
82
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:04,317
and film him doing, like, cool stuff.
83
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:05,773
Oh, yeah, what if we, like,
84
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,650
film him on a road trip across America?
85
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,858
We could call it Jean-Claude's Damn Van.
86
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,067
You guys, we can't...
87
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,535
That's actually very cool.
88
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,408
ADAM: That was a very good idea!
BLAKE: Right?
89
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:17,660
- Wow.
- Blake, that was very good!
90
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:20,788
- Thanks, bro. I just kind of fell into that one.
- Jean-Claude's Damn Van, I love it.
91
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,961
But here's something
that we can actually do, okay?
92
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,501
Public access wrestling show.
93
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,958
Okay, I'm actually very psyched for that,
94
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,464
'cause I know we have casually
mentioned starting a federation,
95
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,636
but it is a dream of mine,
96
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,055
and if we could get it on TV,
97
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:35,804
I think a lot of people
would pay to see us wrestle.
98
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:39,728
Exactly, and everybody's seen
backyard wrestling, right?
99
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:40,929
Done. It's played.
100
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,605
But what haven't they seen?
101
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,099
Front yard wrestling.
102
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,061
Also, because you lost $100 last when we
were trying to do the wrestling thing,
103
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,522
so I'm gonna take over as
commissioner of this federation.
104
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,231
- Ugh.
- And you guys will be battling for
105
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:53,908
inter-Rancho world championship belts.
106
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,782
This is gonna be good.
I'm gonna go talk to Bill,
107
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,075
find out how we get on public access and, uh,
108
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,041
I might even scout the
office for some talent.
109
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:02,409
I don't know.
110
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,914
It's all very exciting.
111
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:10,255
Welcome to the Front Yard Wrestling
Inter-Rancho Wrestling Championship match.
112
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:14,759
Let's get sweaty and wrestle!
113
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,511
The event is ready to get started today...
114
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:20,811
Coming to the ring now, you know him,
you love him, Eskimofo.
115
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,308
Ricky, get out.
116
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:26,358
(NATIVE AMERICAN VOCALIZING)
117
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,861
(YELLS)
118
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:34,275
(MOCK NATIVE AMERICAN ACCENT)
I will tear into my opponent
119
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:37,866
the way the mighty Kodiak
tears into a salmon!
120
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:42,833
Okay, that's disgusting. This is...
This is not...
121
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:44,413
He's really doing this.
122
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,291
He must be good at wrestling.
123
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,504
I'll say that right there. Disgusting.
Waymond, what do you think?
124
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,335
Oh, you probably like that. You are Asian.
125
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:56,797
And now joining us in the east corner...
126
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,220
A new kid on the scene battling for the belt.
127
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:02,018
It's Adam.
128
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,646
That's not very original at all, Waymond.
129
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:08,146
Just with a simple name of "Adam.“
Here we are. Here we are.
130
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,568
Snap into wrestling!
131
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,942
And snap into...
132
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,443
Okay... Ow!
133
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:18,194
Slim Jim!
134
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,570
Dude, I don't know if we can say that on TV.
What are you doing?
135
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,041
Oh, that was awesome.
136
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:26,538
We are ringside. We're ready to get started.
137
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,837
Oh, it's a furious start to the match.
138
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,497
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
139
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,750
Eskimofo and Adam are dancing.
140
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,677
- Yeah!
- Whoa!
141
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,925
BOTH: Ahhh!
142
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,297
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
143
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,095
- Was that cool?
- Yeah, yeah, man. You totally sold it.
144
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,176
- Okay.
- You tricked me.
145
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:44,887
Real quick, though, you're the jabroni.
146
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,813
BLAKE: What? No.
We didn't plan it that way, all right?
147
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,105
I win. I get the girl.
148
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,149
- Okay, I'm gonna suplex you.
- I'm gonna suplex you.
149
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,353
- One, two, suplex.
- Time out!
150
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,982
BOTH: Oh!
151
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:58,112
Oh, well, if it isn't my beautiful daughter,
bratty Cathy, everyone.
152
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,317
Whoo! Get him, baby.
153
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:02,703
Excuse me.
154
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:06,374
I see you've gotten the fur that daddy
bought you with all his money.
155
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,668
Ooh, cha-ching, cha-ching.
156
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,246
ALL: Oh!
157
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:11,872
Love it! I love it!
158
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:15,801
You ready to watch your boyfriend and my
favorite wrestler, Eskimofo, win the match?
159
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,131
Is now the time?
160
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:21,719
No, I actually want Adam to win! Whoo!
161
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,634
- Ha!
- One, two...
162
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:25,806
Ow! Ow!
163
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:26,887
- Nice.
- JILLIAN: Whoo!
164
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,438
- I almost put it on.
- Two, three!
165
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,810
Yeah!
166
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,350
Child, what are you doing?
167
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,986
- That hurt.
- Champion.
168
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,229
- No!
- I'm the champion.
169
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:39,613
My sweet daughter's rooting
for that guy now?
170
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:40,783
No!
171
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,447
- Ow!
- Champion!
172
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:46,782
There's glass in my ass.
173
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,037
I am the champion.
174
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:49,576
Oh, wow.
175
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:50,660
Hello out there.
176
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,623
Hey, it's me, Commissioner Ders.
And if you liked tonight's action,
177
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:56,083
then preorder your tickets
for next week's showdown.
178
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,383
It's Rentlemania One!
179
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,508
It's Eskimofo versus Adam.
180
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,591
In a ladder match! Uh-oh!
181
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,142
Bring the wife, bring the kids,
182
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,811
because these maniacs are about
to bash each other's skulls
183
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,104
into a soupy pulp-
184
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,523
Two warriors, one ring.
185
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:13,942
Rentlemania is coming-oming-oming-oming.
186
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:15,610
- Dude, the commercial looks great.
- Thank you.
187
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,437
- And we made 200 bucks, guys.
- That's awesome.
188
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,147
Only 2,000 more, and we're good.
189
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,986
Whoa, it's 5:00 in the morning.
190
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:24,787
I guess we could either go
to bed, or... Oh, check it out.
191
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:27,239
I got seven episodes of Doug.
You guys wanna watch that till work?
192
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,323
Huh?
193
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,454
I wouldn't mind Skeetering
on that Patti Mayonnaise.
194
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,705
(LAUGHING)
195
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:32,827
Up high.
196
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,913
Like, nowadays, you might not
go for Patti Mayonnaise.
197
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,213
Not with Roger Klotz in the building.
198
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,091
I kept thinking you were saying,
"panty mayonnaise."
199
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,760
Hey, I heard the show was on last night.
200
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,803
Thank you for, um, for watching.
201
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,222
I hope you did. I don't know if you did.
202
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:47,141
I also heard they were gonna
give you my 4:00 a.m. time slot
203
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,969
for something called Rentlemania?
204
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:51,521
Shut up! We got the 4:00? They said that?
205
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,849
- Is that... That's good?
- ANDERS: It's like, the primo time slot.
206
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:54,975
(SCREAMS) Yes!
207
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,935
I guess we're gonna be stacking paper.
208
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,277
- Ooh.
- Which means cash.
209
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,321
- But, that was my time...
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
210
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,278
You're the front yard wrestler dude.
211
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,612
Yeah. (LAUGHS)
212
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,865
You're Eskimofo, right? (GROWLS)
213
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,161
- Yeah.
- And...
214
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,989
Would you take... Oh, my God, it's Adam!
215
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,699
- Yes it is! It is Adam!
- Whoo-hoo!
216
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,409
Dude, would you take a picture of us?
217
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:13,998
This guy's a tweaker, man.
218
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,829
Let me just delete the photos of you.
219
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,415
- Okay, I can get...
- No, no, I don't want... I don't want you, man.
220
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,670
I want my heroes, man.
221
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,422
- You guys are awesome!
- All right, get in here.
222
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,011
Whoo!
223
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,303
- Okay, that's good.
- (ALL SPEAKING AT ONCE)
224
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:26,343
Yes!
225
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,517
- Dude, it's rad!
- Yes, it is rad!
226
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,638
Front yard wrestling!
227
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,345
- Front yard wrestling!
- God bless.
228
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,680
That's why we do it, right there.
229
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,184
Yeah, yeah. Well, no... Rent.
230
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,103
- But yeah, I mean, people are watching.
- Yeah.
231
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,435
Hey, would you guys want to be
interviewed on my show sometime?
232
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,608
Could be good cross-promotion
for the station.
233
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,026
Yeah, we should do it, I mean,
234
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,779
'cause we did just jack your time slot.
235
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,201
- Ooh.
- ANDERS: We did.
236
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,495
(CHUCKLING) I just realized that now.
237
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,038
We just kind of bent you
over the barrel, huh?
238
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,160
- Yeah.
- So we'll do it.
239
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,037
We'll give you a little bump
in the demo. How's that sound?
240
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:55,869
We freaking bent you over the barrel,
and then butt-fucked you. (LAUGHING)
241
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:59,923
Very cool. Well, I'll have my producer,
who's me, set it up.
242
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,875
We didn't butt-fuck him.
243
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,552
- Yeah, what was up with that? We didn't...
- We bent him over...
244
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,425
I do not want to butt-fuck Bill.
245
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:11,184
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
246
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,470
Welcome to Rancho!
247
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:17,308
And congratulations to Adam.
You were champion of last week's match.
248
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,562
Thank you.
249
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,520
(LAUGHS) That's like my wrestling... Ahem.
250
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,109
Thank you.
251
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,907
Don't you think it's weird that you won,
considering you seem like
252
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,076
a total zero with no personality?
253
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,664
Yeah. Do you... More like you don't...
254
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:37,752
Great. Really, the only wrestler with
any personality was Eskimofo.
255
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:40,876
- Thank you.
- The racist caricature of an Inuit.
256
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:42,631
- Well... I don't...
- What?
257
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:46,216
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay, no. No!
258
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:49,013
Everything I do as Eskimofo is an homage to
259
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:54,561
the strong and powerful
igloo-dwelling whale riders.
260
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,730
Well, here's what a couple of
American Indians
261
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,024
we interviewed had to say about Eskimofo.
262
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,610
Oh, this guy's cool-looking.
263
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,024
This is embarrassing.
264
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,156
I find this highly offensive.
265
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:09,234
WOMAN: This is the worst thing
I've ever seen.
266
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,035
So offensive.
267
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,612
Why?
268
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:13,996
That could've been about anything.
269
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,450
- She just said, "Why?"
- She's an actress. I've seen her in movies.
270
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,580
That's Lou Diamond Phillips.
271
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:19,786
So what do you have to say for yourself?
272
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,121
You don't have to say anything.
273
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:24,208
I... I mean, I never meant to,
like, hurt anybody's feelings.
274
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:28,337
I love the Eskimos. I love... In-Inu-Inu?
275
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:29,966
- Inuit.
- Inu...
276
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,048
Okay, well, "Inu" can get
the fuck out of here.
277
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,509
- Thank you.
- Okay, 'cause I'm more angry
278
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,184
than any Eskimo ever could be,
279
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,558
because I've got a freaking dope personality.
280
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,732
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were
just another guy named Adam
281
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:43,318
fake wrestling in my old time slot.
282
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,485
So that's what this is about.
283
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,529
Okay, you know what?
We're done with your name-calling
284
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,151
and your "gotcha" journalism.
It's time to go.
285
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:49,949
- Get out of here! All you guys.
- Get your crew.
286
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,615
- Hit the bricks!
- Can't come in my house...
287
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:54,904
- Hey, Del.
- Hey.
288
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,490
What's up, you funky homo sapien?
289
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:59,333
- Deli meat.
- Yeah, come on, man. Let's get you a beer.
290
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:02,083
- Uh, Lois, get Del a brewski.
- (ALL LAUGHING)
291
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,622
- You're really good.
- DEL: Stop it.
292
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,833
Stop it. I didn't come here to hang out.
What's going on?
293
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,508
What... Are you Bill?
You the guy who called me?
294
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,131
I've been hanging out there
for, like, 10 minutes.
295
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,759
Del Jacobson, you're the
landlord of this heme, correct?
296
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,507
What do you think about your tenants
297
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,139
running an illegal wrestling
business on your property?
298
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:20,105
Wrestling? ls that what...
That's what all that is?
299
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,306
You're doing a wrestling tournament?
300
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,391
For money, illegally, on your property.
301
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,851
All right, no, guys, you can't do this.
302
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,608
I've put up with a lot over
the years 'cause I like you.
303
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,067
- Thank you.
- DEL: Not you.
304
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,529
Late rent. No rent.
305
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:35,033
The property damage from the earthquake
that somehow only hit this house.
306
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,702
Look, Del, the only reason we're having
the whole wrestle thing is
307
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,248
so we can raise money to pay rent.
308
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,081
Del-zone. Come on.
309
00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:44,128
You can't tell us you don't love wrestling.
310
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:47,291
Yeah, I loved wrestling, Adam,
when I was 10, okay?
311
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,876
But I'm a grown-up now,
with grown-up responsibilities.
312
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,508
I've got an ex-wife who's
clamoring for alimony.
313
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,720
I've got a Cold Stone Creamery
franchise that's tanking
314
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,846
due to a goddamn Pinkberry.
315
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,937
All right? It's taking all my business
because everybody wants the
316
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:04,599
healthy, fresh-flavored, refreshing...
Garbage.
317
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,398
Del, anything goes wrong
in one of these matches, you're liable.
318
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,820
DEL: What show is this?
319
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,150
What is this?
320
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:13,533
Oh, this is our public access show.
321
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,451
Okay, all this has to stop.
322
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,196
The wrestling's over, guys. All right?
I can't have anything else go wrong.
323
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:19,913
It's over.
324
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:22,158
Hey, Del-zone! Guess what?
325
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:25,879
We can't give the money back for Rentlemania
or else we won't be able to afford...
326
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,080
My name isn't Del-zone.
327
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,255
My name is Del.
328
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,423
Del Jacobson.
329
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:32,503
- Not Del-hyphen-anything.
- Deli platter.
330
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,304
No! No wrestling, or you're evicted,
331
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,306
because I own this place, okay?
332
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:38,929
You cannot own the land.
333
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,052
- What are you... I don't...
- It's the wrestling thing.
334
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:46,854
Wow, it looks like the Rancho Cucamonga
Front Yard Wrestling League
335
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:50,358
is about to experience a sad, quiet death.
336
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:53,406
I'm Bill Stephenson saying,
if it's in Rancho,
337
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,199
we'll come and see it and talk about it.
338
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,161
(SINGING) He's insane
339
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,790
Think of all we've been
through at this house, guys.
340
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,037
Remember our first kegger?
341
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,787
Not really.
I passed out on that rock. I know that.
342
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:11,591
I remember the memories that you guys
told me about that were yours.
343
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,838
This sucks.
344
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,428
Man, I thought our kids
were gonna be born here.
345
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:17,505
I thought we were gonna die here, dude.
346
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:20,183
Wait, you thought we were,
like, gonna get married
347
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:23,228
and then live here together
with our wives and kids?
348
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,554
I thought that was the plan.
349
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:25,889
Whatever, man. We're screwed.
350
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:29,897
The WW and FY... Whatever...
351
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,060
FYCR.
352
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,987
Yeah. It's dead, man.
353
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,234
It's just... It's dead.
354
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:36,741
No, it's not.
355
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,824
Rentlemania is about to pop off and be
356
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,497
the nastiest wreffling match
these people have ever seen.
357
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:44,665
(LAUGHS) You said, "Wreffling."
358
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:45,867
- Well, I'm just excited!
- (LAUGHING)
359
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,546
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you for joining us today.
360
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:53,591
Unfortunately, I have some tragic news.
361
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:57,428
Adam DeMamp died this weekend.
There will be no ladder match.
362
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,720
There will be no wrestling.
363
00:13:58,796 --> 00:13:59,843
- ALL: Aw!
- No!
364
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,845
This is outrageous. The crowd is going crazy.
365
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:04,097
- No wrestling today, Waymond.
- MAN: No!
366
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,021
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
367
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,222
MONTEZ: What is that?
368
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,021
Adam DeMamp is gone! (HISSING)
369
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,226
Who the hell are you?
370
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,358
Oh, is he Catwoman? I'm not quite sure.
371
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:15,939
What is happening? Who?
372
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:19,533
That's right!
373
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:22,533
Adam DeMamp was killed this weekend,
374
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:26,583
saving hundreds of Maxim models
from burning in a hotel alive.
375
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:29,786
He was also sleeping with a ton of them.
376
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:34,545
And then, his burned ashes were eaten
377
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,719
- by an insane little street kitten.
- What?
378
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:42,095
But he then transformed!
379
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,722
I am...
380
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:48,897
(SCREECHING) Catam!
381
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:52,066
Hiss, hiss. Meow!
382
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,898
Holy smokes.
383
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:56,274
- Ladies and gentlemen, Catam is here.
- (HISSING)
384
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,527
And that's all well and good, but
385
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,155
unfortunately, there's no one for you
to wrestle because
386
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,657
in other and even more tragic news,
387
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,740
Eskimofo also died this weekend.
388
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,329
Okay, what is this? What's going on now?
389
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:19,632
- Yeah! That's right! Eskimofo is also dead.
- Oh, my God.
390
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,587
I am Eracist!
391
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,719
What? Just enunciate.
392
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:28,012
E-racist. I am the Eracist. Right?
393
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,937
- Tell 'em.
- We're not friends.
394
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:33,270
Okay, look, your boy stole 100 bucks
from me the other day.
395
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:36,193
I'm gonna let that slide if
you just say you're my friend, all right?
396
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,397
Just say it, do it. Do it.
397
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,398
- (DRYLY) We're friends.
- Ah-ha! Yep!
398
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,116
You hear that? You heard it.
399
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:46,162
- All right.
- And we are here together to destroy...
400
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,580
Erase... Racism.
401
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:54,037
Just like I'm about to erase you, Catam.
402
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,298
(CROWD CHEERING)
403
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,841
Uh-oh! It's a swing-in wrestle.
404
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,593
Kill him!
405
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,186
(CROWD CHEERING)
406
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:11,262
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
407
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,692
(BOTH GRUNTING)
408
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:24,905
Oh!
409
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:26,869
Oh, boys?
410
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,452
Whoever gets that belt first
will not only get the belt,
411
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:33,455
but you'll get something much,
much more valuable.
412
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,920
My beautiful daughter's hand in marriage!
413
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,414
- No!
- Yes.
414
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,249
No, you can't force me to marry anybody.
415
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,005
My heart belongs to Adam.
416
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,051
Adam is dead! You heard him.
417
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:47,758
I am a rich businessperson, and I command
you to marry the winner of this match.
418
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,262
- No!
- Yes.
419
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,600
DEL: There's not gonna be a winner,
'cause this match is over.
420
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,015
You three are evicted.
421
00:16:58,601 --> 00:16:59,648
(SINGING) Scratch
422
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:05,858
Del, you can evict us all
you want, but, urn...
423
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,653
I think we're gonna finish this match.
424
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,537
ADAM: Yeah!
ALL: Yeah.
425
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:11,990
Not on my property, you're not.
426
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,535
MONTEZ: Oh, damn, Waymond,
it just got real out here.
427
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,211
Have you ever seen anything like this?
428
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,835
Anders, do you think
we should shut this down?
429
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:21,545
No, I don't, Montez.
430
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:24,468
In fact, I don't know why we should do
anything this guy tells us to do.
431
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,798
Because I'm the lord of this land,
and what... Oh!
432
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,887
Ooh, that... Ooh.
433
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,180
BLAKE: Adam, what are you doing, man?
434
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,220
He was gonna evict us anyway, right?
435
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,725
That doesn't mean we should kick his ass.
436
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:38,191
- DEL: Oh, no.
- No, stop.
437
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:42,316
I'm the one who's gonna enjoy
ass-kicking your dumb ass asses.
438
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,988
Huh? Oh!
439
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,992
Del, no! Oh, no!
440
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:54,411
Oh! A double clothesline!
441
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:57,790
Ahhh! Ahhh!
442
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,582
Yeah, boy!
443
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,175
(STRUGGLING)
444
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,003
Ahhh!
445
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,132
(SCREAMS)
446
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,558
Ahhh!
447
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:17,684
Oh, my God, he's going nuts.
Straight beast mode, yo.
448
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,849
Break his hands, Blake!
449
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:23,398
I can't, man! His forearms are too strong!
450
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,150
He scoops so much ice cream.
451
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:30,326
- No, no.
- What's up, you fat little turd?
452
00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:31,823
You want some more of this? Huh?
453
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:34,325
You're a fat... You are!
454
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,123
- Ow!
- JILLIAN: Adam.
455
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,872
PS, I'm taking your security deposit.
456
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,875
ADAM: Ow!
CROWD: Boo!
457
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,925
Oh, yeah, I'm the bad guy.
I'm the bad... All right, shut up.
458
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,217
Just shut up. Come here.
459
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:50,513
Tomorrow, 2:30 to 5:30, Cold Stone Creamery
across from the junior high,
460
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:53,091
half off all Oreo Overloads and
birthday cake remixes.
461
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,467
I'll be scooping it up personally.
462
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,640
Oh, what? What? You guys want that?
463
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,685
I'm gonna get your belt, and I'm
gonna throw it in the trash!
464
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:02,183
MONTEZ: Oh, my goodness.
Look what is happening now.
465
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,893
- Come on, give it to me.
- Hey, give it to me.
466
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,320
MONTEZ: They're both reaching for the belt.
467
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,447
They're trying to get the belt. It's a slap fight.
It looks like two bitches going at it.
468
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,360
- Del...
- Come here!
469
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,370
Whoa.
470
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:19,667
MONTEZ: Oh, my goodness! Adam and Ders
have slammed Del down on the table!
471
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:20,789
Whoo!
472
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,336
Who's the champ? Who--who?
473
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,583
MONTEZ: I can't even speak anymore,
Waymond.
474
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,960
Do you have anything to say?
475
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,004
I mean, Waymond, did you see
what just happened?
476
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,801
You all just made a huge mistake.
477
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,336
You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
478
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:33,764
Hey man, I might be a cat,
but you're a pussy, dude!
479
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,092
- Poonanny!
- Yeah!
480
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:39,144
Here we go, guys! TV event of the season.
481
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,518
I think we're gonna get, like,
500 viewers this time.
482
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,065
It was... It's just awesome, man.
483
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,392
We're really just going out on top.
484
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:46,603
I mean, I want them
to play this one at my funeral.
485
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,647
- Yeah, totally.
- I am the landlord!
486
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:52,525
- (ALL LAUGHING)
- Hey, what's up, Del?
487
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,235
- Did it start yet?
- BLAKE: You haven't missed it.
488
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,116
It's about to be the best part, your part.
489
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,579
Oh, yeah. Dude, here you come.
490
00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:59,407
Yo, you were, like, terrifying.
491
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:00,582
I was legit scared.
492
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,126
Yeah, only 'cause you sold it so hard.
493
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,999
I think the audience
bought it, though, right?
494
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,463
Yeah. I hope they bought it.
495
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,666
Considering you punched me in my nose.
496
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,796
I feel like it's broken. It hurts.
497
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:11,294
Yeah, yeah. Sorry about that.
498
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,004
It's just, I never really liked you,
499
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:15,385
so I had a shot, and I took it, you know?
500
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:20,220
(LAUGHS) Yeah! Yeah, right!
501
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:21,763
DEL: No, that's totally for real.
502
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:28,070
(LAUGHING) You guys don't think it's funny?
503
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:30,567
Yeah, right, Deli meat here
doesn't freaking love me.
504
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:32,110
Right. Sure.
505
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:35,033
- Shut up, okay?
- (LAUGHS) Okay.
506
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:37,410
Yeah, I get that.
507
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,079
Hey, anyway, thanks for letting me in on it.
508
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:42,079
I had so much fun.
And I think after my plug hits the air,
509
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,535
my Cold Stone's gonna be blowing up.
510
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:44,960
Hmm, you know what else
is about to blow up?
511
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:47,380
Your brain, dude, 'cause we
got your rent right here.
512
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,339
Oh, thanks, man.
513
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:53,176
You know, the next month's
rent's due in two days, right?
514
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,843
ALL: Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh.
515
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,224
Oh! A different world!
516
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,272
Shake your belly. Ooh.
517
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,399
(ALL LAUGHING)
518
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:13,856
Karl and homeless Mike.
519
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:15,445
We taking over this planet, baby.
520
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:16,867
We taking over the planet.
521
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:27,500
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