All language subtitles for s06e16_-_this_old_man

Nice to see you.

Nice to have you here.

Nice yabos.

You fielding?

Absolutely. What can I do for you?
Button, pamphlet, bumper sticker?

We'll take them all.

All right. The people can't get enough,
huh? Yeah. Neither can your printer.

Next time, pay your bill. Hey, hey,
what?

Yeah, like you can reuse any of that
stuff.

Tough break, Dan.

Oh, that, Dad. Just a little cash flow
problem. No big deal.

You finish with the saltine. Can I look
out the wrapper?

Here you go. I packed an extra sandwich.

I think you'll like it. It's the time of
year for fresh possum.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Christine.

Okay,

I'll say it.

What's with that butt-ugly pin you're
wearing?

It's a gift from Ted.

It's a cricket.

Because, well, that's what he calls me.
He says I chirp when I laugh.

Aww.

That's why I don't tell you guys
anything.

Oh, come on, Miss Sullivan. You've been
dating this guy for four weeks and you

haven't told us diddly.

Now, we deserve some details.

Oh, yeah, like I can't have a life
outside the courtroom?

You know the rules. Either you talk or
on your next date, we follow in a van.

All right, he's stopping by here on his
way to a meeting anyway, so I might as

well.

We met at the gym.

He's a sensitive, intelligent,
incredibly handsome man.

Well, I hear nothing that sets him apart
from one fellow at this table.

Thanks, Harry.

Oh, there is actually one thing I should
tell you about him so that you don't

make a faux pas.

No promises. I just ate that possum.

He's... Well, he's been married before.

Oh, come on, Miss Sullivan. Lots of men
have been married before.

There you are, Cricket.

Ted.

Who's his ex-wife?

Eve?

In general, Mr. Crosby, when someone
says they want to see one of New York's

finest, they're referring to a
policeman.

That will be $50 and one day in jail,
and we're out of here.

So, is Father Time coming back tonight?

If you mean Ted, the answer is yes. He's
taking me to a very nice restaurant.

You have to cut his meat for him, don't
you?

Dan, grow up.

How old is he?

Does that really matter?

No. But give us the hint. Is he a
veteran?

Yes. World War II?

Gettysburg?

I just can't believe how small-minded
you all are about this. Oh, come on,

Miss Sullivan. We're just concerned
about you. And let's be honest.

Are we perhaps looking for a father
figure here?

Are we perhaps a tad jealous here?

Who, me?

Ha, ha, ha.

Of what, pray tell?

Of a successful, self-made man who
treats me like a lady and doesn't need a

joy buzzer to get attention.

Whoa, back up.

Gramps has money?

Yes, if that's important to you.

Cricket, you ready to go?

Yeah. Ted, Ted, Ted.

We had so little time to talk. Did
Christine tell you that I'm running for

state assembly?

Yes, and I plan to give you every
consideration.

Damn it, man, I need money.

I'm sorry I never contribute to
political campaigns. You know, when

you're in land development, it looks
like you're currying favors.

Listen, if elected, I promise I won't do
anything for you.

I'm sure you'll find support somewhere.

You bet I will.

I wouldn't be running for public office
if I didn't think there was somebody out

there who would want to buy me.

Well, we all set? I'll just get my coat.

Be nice.

I'm always nice.

Judge, I've got to tell you, I really
like that tie.

Oh yeah? It's an original from the 40s.

Must bring back a lot of memories for a
guy like you.

Oh, it does.

We buried my dad in a tie just like
that.

Ah, the good old days.

When women were women and men wore hats.

And to think you got to experience it
all in your prime.

Well, I like to think I'm still in my
prime.

I don't like to brag, but, you know, I
can still bench press 300 pounds.

How about you, Judge?

Are we talking one hand or two?

Here you go, sir.

I got that cap off the aspirin bottle
for you.

Don't mention it.

You know, there's one game I really
enjoy.

That's racquetball.

Oh, I play a little racquetball myself.

Oh, we'll have to play sometime.

How about tomorrow afternoon?

Well, two o'clock, all right. You're on.

All set.

Fantastic. Guess what?

Harry and I are going to play
racquetball tomorrow.

Oh, really?

Did Ted happen to mention that he's the
state senior champ?

Gosh, no, he didn't.

Come on. See you tomorrow.

So, you gonna fake the flu or go right
for the old heart attack?

You're sure you're all right?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

Well, maybe we shouldn't have played
that fifth game.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

I was just hitting my stride.

Hey, didn't my door used to have a lock
on it?

Oh, hi.

So, how was the game?

Well, the judge let the old man win a
few.

Don't think I didn't notice.

Ah!

Yeah, well, you watch out for next time.
No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Say, Cricket, why don't we invite Harry
to the dinner dance club tomorrow night?

That is, if you feel up to it.

Oh, sure.

Well, great.

Then? Ah, well...

No offense, but I'm not really up for an
evening of the foxtrot and prune whip.

Well, that's too bad, because there'll
probably be a lot of big political

contributors there.

Blue suit okay?

Be perfect.

Listen, if it isn't too much trouble,
would you mind driving cricket? Because

I'll be coming straight from a meeting
in Boston. Oh, absolutely.

The city has no place for an unescorted
woman.

Take the subway to my place. We'll cab
it from there.

Well... I gotta be getting to the
airport.

Hurry back.

Bye. I'll really miss you when you're
gone.

Thanks, but I had to spray my locker for
silverfish.

Maybe we'll finish this outside.

Sir, we're ready when you are.

Be just a minute, Ball.

What's up?

I can't move anything but my tongue.

You know, Cricket, I've been thinking.

What?

Well, this isn't a place to bring it up.
Oh, no, no, no. You can't do that. You

started it. You have to finish.

But I was thinking about us, where we're
headed.

Cricket, I think the time has come when
we should take the next logical step.

Oh, Ted.

Christine, I'm sorry to bother you. Then
don't.

It can't wait.

That's what is so important.

If you don't sign his bail motion, your
client goes back to jail.

And it's so cold down there.

Of course.

Good luck, Mr. Crosby.

Sorry.

I shouldn't have brought it up here.

I wanted to do it right tomorrow night
in a more romantic atmosphere.

Oh, I don't know. I think it looks
pretty romantic from here.

We could wait till tomorrow.

I love you, Cricket.

Can't wait.

Good evening, Sullivan.

How you doing?

Oh, just great.

I think I was just proposed to.

What?

Court finds the defendant

guilty. Fifty dollars in time.

I need to talk.

Sure.

Be careful, sir. Speed kills.

What is it you wanted to talk about,
sir?

Oh, the weather.

What's on TV.

Your wedding.

There isn't any wedding yet.

Ted and I haven't officially discussed
it.

Well, I hope you're bearing in mind that
marriage is an enormous step.

Oh, Harry, come on. Lighten up.

I mean, this could be the best thing
that she has ever done.

Well, thank you, Dan.

If that old goat could croak, she'll be
rolling in it.

Were you raised by pigs?

Yeah, Dan. What if Ted had a long,
lingering illness that drained him of

every cent they had while he lay in a
slack-jawed, vegetative state?

That ought to shut him up.

I really don't believe you guys can't
get past this age.

Well, Christine, it is a legitimate
issue. I know you want kids.

So? So, when the other boys are out
playing catch with their dads, your son

will be building a ramp to the back door
for you.

Listen, I didn't go out looking for a
man who's somewhat older than I am.

I just want someone who cares about what
I feel and what I think.

Nice set of buns never hurt either.

All right, look.

Before you say yes, don't you think you
should at least sleep with the old

geezer? You know, just make sure the
little admiral can still salute.

What makes you think I haven't?

Okay, I don't think we need any more
detail.

Miss Sullivan, we just want you to be
happy.

I am happy, thank you. And I hope that
you find someone who makes you just as

happy.

Maybe I already have.

Well, great. Bring her to the dance
tomorrow night. I'd love to meet her.

Matt? Yes, sir, I know.

You'll need a list of all the unmarried
women in the building.

I love that

smell. What?

Old money.

Tonight, the fielding campaign, back.

Tonight, as a favor to me, could you try
just this once to not be a wiener?

There you are, Cricket.

Hello, Dan.

Yeah, but hey, enough chit-chat. Hot
time to mix the mingles, Ed.

Not a bad idea. There's a woman here
tonight you should meet. Oh?

Now, her name is Cynthia Dalby, and she
is incredibly wealthy, and she views

politics as a kind of a hobby.

A babe with bucks. What could be more
perfect?

My, my, he's much taller than I
expected.

Meet Cynthia.

Skittish little colt, isn't he?

Oh, Cynthia, hi. Oh, lovely name,
Cynthia. Had a gerbil name, Cynthia.

Why don't we get to know each other on
the dance floor? I want to see how you

move. Why don't... Why don't you leave?

You hear that? That's an old Artie Shaw
tune.

Artie goes back quite a ways.

Oh. You mean like Devo?

No, no. Back to the big band era.

When dinosaurs roamed the earth.

Harry. Glad you could make it.

I don't believe we've met your friend,
have we? Oh, this is Pepper Langston.

Hi.

Pepper.

What a cute name.

Pepper, these are my friends, Ted and
Cricket.

Oh, this is a well-kept secret, isn't
it? Well, you're not the only one with a

private life, Miss Sullivan.

Well, I'm very pleased you and the judge
could join us tonight.

You're a judge?

Shall we?

Well, you know, my, um...

My views on law and order are

well-documented.

I mean, you don't spend... 12 years as
an assistant DA in this city without

having some pretty firm ideas on law
enforcement.

Ever make love on wicker?

That's it, sir. Get wild. Get crazy.

I'll have you know you're not the only
one on this floor who had lessons at

Arthur Murray.

Hold on.

I've done some pretty sleazy things in
my time, but I'm not going to be turned

into someone's sexual plaything for a
measly campaign contribution.

I gave John Kennedy $50,000.

You mean?

And you've got better hair.

You know, I've been thinking

about... What we were talking about,
about us and our future together.

Oh, now, wait a minute. You were going
to let me do this right, you remember?

Now, please, sit down here.

I want to do this just the way I
practiced it.

Oh, my gosh, Ted.

This is happening so fast.

Well, at my age, I don't waste time
making decisions.

Hope I'm not rushing you. Oh, no, no,
no, no, no. Just promise me. If I say

yes. We can wait till October. The trees
are so beautiful, Ben. And my favorite

crystal goes on sale.

I was hoping we could get this done next
week.

Next week?

That would be hardly enough time to plan
a real wedding.

A wedding?

I'm just asking you to move in with me.

What?

Now, what the hell is this?

Another stupid cricket?

Honey, I'm sorry if you got the wrong
impression.

Well, you said that we should take the
next logical trip.

Yeah, well, for me, that is not
marriage. You know, I've been down that

road for 30 years.

Not ready to do that again.

Well, when will you be ready?

A month? A year? Five years?

I don't know. Maybe never. But, you
know, that doesn't mean I don't love

you.

I'm merely asking you to... Check up?

At this point in my life, I'm not real
interested in playing house.

Now, why is that so terrible?

Because I'll be living in sin.

You know what I mean.

Look, I'm not looking for someone to
share the rent.

I'm looking for someone to share my
life.

I need a commitment, and to me, that
means marriage.

Piece of paper that says it's all right.

Come on, Christine, don't you think
you're being a little old-fashioned?

You're calling me old-fashioned?

I bet you can't even name one of Barry
Manilow's hits.

You know, at your age, if you're this
out of state, you should think about

joining a gym.

No, no, it's my trick knee, that's all.

Now, Christine, admit it, you are very
conservative.

Not about everything.

That's right. I once saw her chug a near
beer.

What about the gallery we went to and
you had to cover your eyes so you

wouldn't see the nude artwork?

Art? It was a woman with no head and six
breasts.

Oh, you saw the LeFevre exhibit.

I love his stuff.

Next time you want to see a collage of
people's privates, take her.

Have we by any chance dropped by at a
bad time?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, we were
just...

discussing Ted's proposal to make me his
roomie, not his wife. Oh, Cricket. Look,

look, if all you want is someone to
share your food and warm your bed, get a

dog.

Cricket, please.

Wow.

How embarrassing.

If it's any help, I know a guy who's
trying to get rid of an Airedale.

Excuse me, I was wondering... You
looking for that blonde girl who dumped

the old guy?

That would be an efficient way of
putting it.

Could we please have a couple of minutes
alone?

Are you kidding?

I'm responsible for the stuff in here.

Lock up before you leave.

if I told you that I know how you feel?

How can you know how I feel?

When was the last time you were
propositioned by a sexagenarian?

I used to have a landlady who came down
to my door with her stockings rolled

down.

Why is it I can never find the right man
at the right time? Either he's ready and

I'm not...

There is a man out there for you.

One day when you're not expecting it,
when you're not even looking for it,

you're going to turn around and there he
will be.

Oh, yeah? When?

Do you happen to know what the odds are
against a woman my age finding a man?

Not offhand, no.

Excuse me.

Can we get our coats, please?

Sure.

40 to 1.

And in another five years, 70 to 1.

And eventually it'll be me and a...

What's the problem? You're still paying
for that mink?

Here you go.

Kleenex fund.

Thanks.

And Sullivan, you're right about love.

There are no guarantees.

But you are an intelligent and caring
and very beautiful woman.

And some man is going to love you very
much.

How can you be so sure?

Because if I weren't a judge and you
weren't working in my court,

what I mean is,

if I knew someone exactly like me, I
know he'd be crazy about someone

exactly like you.

Oh, boy, look at us. We're all dressed
up and we're hiding in a coat room.

What could be more pathetic?

Look, Cynthia, I'm telling you, I don't
look good in Toreador pants.

Let me be the judge of that.

Again,

I have to apologize for the scene I made
last night.

Look, I think I win the prize for
insensitivity. Hey, wasn't that crack

about get a dog?

Forget that. Christine.

You are one great lady, and I hope
someday you find the right guy.

Thank you. I hope you find whatever it
is you're looking for, too.

Ted!

The play starts in ten minutes, and we
don't want to miss the dance of the

embryos.

Enjoy.

You okay, Miss Sullivan?

Oh, yeah.

I guess it helps that I'm not really up
to see a play that takes place in a

uterus.

Hey, Rod, is there any mail for me?

As a matter of fact.

All right, hallelujah, Cynthia Dalby.

The fruits of compromise.

This is just the grease we need to get
the fielding campaign machine roaring

again. I can't believe you spent the
night with that woman just for a

campaign contribution.

I did it for the people.

Twenty bucks?

stuffed potato think I am?

This might explain it. Dear Dan, you
know Jack Kennedy.