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English (HI) Subtitles.
Workaholics S04E10 (720p) Time Chair - BrRip [KoTuWa]
1
00:00:01,142 --> 00:00:02,310
- No, you die, okay?
2
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:03,795
You're dead.
There's nothing.
3
00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:05,713
Just your body getting eaten
by worms and slugs.
4
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,382
- Yeah, I don't know,
though.
5
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,759
I think that Heaven is real,
and I'm gonna go to it,
6
00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:11,427
'cause, like,
right before I die,
7
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,429
I'm gonna just join
all the religions, right?
8
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,306
So if, like,
God is actually, like,
9
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,016
Buddha or, like, Jesus,
10
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,643
or, like, Tom Cruise,
11
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,144
like, I'll get up there,
and I'll be like,
12
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,939
"Yo, man, check the list.
I'm on that."
13
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,273
- I don't know, man.
I'm just tossed up
14
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,525
because, like,
part of me is like,
15
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:26,901
dude, I wanna party
with Satan,
16
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,403
'cause he, like,
seems pretty cool,
17
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,904
but then again,
I'm really trying to kick it
18
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,280
with the big N.W.O.
eye in the sky.
19
00:00:31,407 --> 00:00:32,782
You know what I mean?
- No.
20
00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:34,450
- Well, he has, like,
horns on his head,
21
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,661
and the other dude
is just like Morgan Freeman...
22
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:38,246
- Right, right.
- Is God.
23
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,622
And although he's pretty cool
and he has...
24
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,582
Wears earrings
and, like, bangs, like,
25
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:42,834
you know,
19-year-old models...
26
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,210
- Yeah.
- Actually,
27
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:45,461
let's kick it
with Morgan Freeman.
28
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:46,796
- Are we sure
he's not Satan?
29
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,089
- Yeah, I don't care
how long
30
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,507
you've been a veterinarian.
31
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:50,883
- I heard it in a...
Oh, damn. Oh, damn.
32
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,719
- Oh, shoot.
- She was supposed to have
33
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:55,012
her nails trimmed
and her anal glands expressed,
34
00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:56,806
and guess what, pal...
They weren't.
35
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,307
- Boss, boss, boss, boss.
36
00:00:58,434 --> 00:01:00,977
- Whoa.
What the heck is this?
37
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:04,939
- Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo.
What are we looking at here?
38
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,816
- Hello.
Excuse me, sir.
39
00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:08,568
What is all this?
40
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,945
- We're having our annual
employee appreciation day.
41
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,697
- Cool!
- Employee apprec...
42
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,824
This is, like, the frickin'
coolest company ever.
43
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:17,785
It's like Pixar or something,
or like Panera Bread.
44
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,245
At the end of the night,
instead of throwing away
45
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,955
all the bread, they give
the employees the bread.
46
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,707
They're like,
"Hey, you did a great job
47
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,876
on the cash register today,
Sharon, take home a sourdough."
48
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,503
And they split up the breads.
- Oh, sourdough.
49
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,338
- We love hot bread.
We love a good hot bread.
50
00:01:29,465 --> 00:01:31,424
- That sounds good, but we make
dog food for the military.
51
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:33,217
- Well, I'd eat dog food
if you'd let me ride
52
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,469
one of these things.
53
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,970
- Military dogs, dude.
54
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,722
Oh, that could be
an Air Bud sequel.
55
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:39,974
Like, kill 'em all,
let dogs sort them out.
56
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,476
[guys laugh heartily]
57
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,060
- Dogs sort 'em out.
58
00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:44,729
- I didn't like that one.
- [clears throat]
59
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,689
- He didn't get it.
- Can we ride the go-karts?
60
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:49,400
- Sorry, guys, these go-karts
are for employees only.
61
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:50,818
- Hey, well, we're employees
over there, right over there.
62
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,361
- Technically.
- TelAmeriCorp.
63
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,447
We're employed.
- Well, our employees.
64
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,532
We have little kids that want
to ride them, so...
65
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:57,742
- Okay, I think I know
what's up.
66
00:01:57,868 --> 00:01:59,035
Hold up, man.
- Yeah, yeah.
67
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:01,078
- Allow me to give you
some green
68
00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:02,830
to ride, huh?
69
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,791
I ain't talking money.
Boop, boop, boop, huh?
70
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:07,168
- You like-a the kind?
- Do you like weed?
71
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,711
- You wanna smack-a-bee?
72
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,713
- Guys, it's not happening,
okay?
73
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:13,549
- Okay. Wow, well, then
you're being a rude dickhead.
74
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,510
We're trying to give you drugs
in exchange to ride go-karts,
75
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,554
and instead, you're
a real frickin' prick about it.
76
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,223
- Get the hell out of here,
you burnouts!
77
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,892
- You come to the parking lot
near our work,
78
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:25,061
and you tell us
that we can't freakin'
79
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:26,896
ride your go-karts?
80
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,397
- Yeah!
- I don't think so, Jack!
81
00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:30,399
I'm gonna frickin' flip
this bitch over!
82
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:32,235
- Oh!
- Oh! Ooh!
83
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:33,611
- Guys, a little help.
- Here. Ready?
84
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,571
- If you flip
that go-kart over,
85
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:38,991
I'm gonna beat
the fuck out of you.
86
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,702
- Okay, I'm a little
more intimidated by him.
87
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,663
- I don't even need him.
He'll just watch.
88
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,081
- Hey, you know what?
No hard feelings.
89
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,207
- Yeah.
- And in fact...
90
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,625
- Sorry, Irish guys.
91
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:49,210
- Suck my dick!
Okay, run!
92
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,711
- Go, go, go!
- Run, run, run, run, run!
93
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,547
- Suck his dick!
Don't touch mine.
94
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,550
[beatboxing]
95
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,676
♪ ♪
96
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:59,262
- ♪ I'm fresh ♪
97
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,430
- ♪ You gotta, you gotta,
you gotta, gotta ♪
98
00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:03,349
- ♪ Gotta be fresh ♪
99
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,686
[indistinct chatter]
100
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,729
- Hey. Where the hell
have you been?
101
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,982
- Uh...
- And you reek of weed.
102
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,817
- [scoffs]
- No, us?
103
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,027
- Uh, actually,
that's go-kart fumes,
104
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,280
and you'd know that
if you would ever
105
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:20,032
employee appreciate us
every once in a while.
106
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,326
- All we want
is an entire day
107
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,953
where you thank us
with go-karts
108
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,496
and maybe
a cotton candy machine
109
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,206
and may... I was thinking
maybe, like,
110
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,791
the Goo Goo Dolls
could perform,
111
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,668
and I could sing Iris
with them onstage.
112
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,044
- Yeah.
- Personally,
113
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,754
I don't want the world
to see me,
114
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,256
'cause I don't think
they'd understand.
115
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,507
- They wouldn't.
116
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:37,842
- Well, I'd appreciate
117
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,343
if you'd get back
on the phones.
118
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,512
- You know what?
Why don't you appreciate us
119
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,764
for the calls we've
already made for you?
120
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,558
- Get back to your desks,
now!
121
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:46,893
- Okay.
Yep.
122
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:49,145
[laughter]
123
00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:50,855
- Oh, my god,
we are fricking funny, dude.
124
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,023
- Yeah.
125
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,149
- Ders,
you are a straight-up
126
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,817
Photoshop Gandalf,
my man.
127
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,694
That is so good.
- So you're, like... that's a...
128
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,529
You're a wizard, right?
- Yeah.
129
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,573
That's what I meant.
- "Erect chin pills."
130
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,450
I cannot wait for somebody
to call us.
131
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,868
We're gonna burn 'em, right?
- Yeah.
132
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,245
- Right?
- It's so funny because, like,
133
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,956
you can't just take a pill
and make your chin bigger.
134
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,375
You need to have surgery
for that.
135
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,336
- Right, yeah, no,
that's true, but, um,
136
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,879
you know, the joke is that
"erect chin"
137
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,923
sounds just like "erection".
- It does.
138
00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:19,884
- Ha ha.
Yeah, uh, uh...
139
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,929
But erection pills
actually work.
140
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:26,390
And chin pills do not,
and that is the joke.
141
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:27,808
[laughs]
142
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:30,186
- Yeah.
143
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,189
[soprano chorus]
144
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:36,734
- Whoa, dudes,
check a load of this.
145
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,569
"Free massage chair."
146
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,196
When did that get up there?
147
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:41,656
- Oh, my gosh.
148
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,574
This thing
is freaking incredible.
149
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,285
- I mean, this chair
is legit, dude, and for free?
150
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:47,828
- What I love about it is now
151
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:48,996
I don't have to make you guys
walk on my back.
152
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,289
I'm gonna call this guy.
153
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:51,415
- Well, you don't make me
do that.
154
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,125
I do that to massage my feet.
155
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,086
- Yeah, to be honest, I hate
walking on his back, man,
156
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:56,796
because, like, I'm afraid
that I'm gonna toothpaste-tube
157
00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:58,422
poop out of his butt.
158
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:02,093
- Hello, yes, I'm calling
about the massage chair.
159
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,637
Yeah, I was won...
160
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,097
Okay.
161
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,015
Yes. Okay.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
162
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,475
Okay, okay, okay.
Update, update.
163
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,060
Just talked to the guy.
Here's the deal.
164
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,770
He already promised the chair
to somebody.
165
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:14,563
- [groans]
- But...
166
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:16,065
if we get there first,
the chair's ours.
167
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:17,358
2:00.
That's the deadline.
168
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,651
- I mean,
we got an hour lunch.
169
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:19,944
You think we can make it?
- Yeah.
170
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,779
- [grunts] Yes!
I know we can.
171
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,906
Friendship, power,
172
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,908
perseverance!
173
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,160
- Yeah!
- [humming triumphant music]
174
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,371
- ♪ Friendship and power and ♪
- ♪ Ba ba bam bam bam ♪
175
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,248
- ♪ Perseverance ♪
176
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:34,500
- All right, so I'm thinking
the chair should go in my room
177
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,627
because it would match
my upscale decor.
178
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,421
- No, no, no, no.
179
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,047
If anything,
it's going in my room,
180
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,091
and then if you guys, like,
wanna reserve a time,
181
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,427
you can do so, unless I've
already reserved a time,
182
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,679
in which case,
you can't do so.
183
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:48,848
- [imitates buzzer]
Wrong answer.
184
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:51,017
We're putting the chair outside
by the pool, baby.
185
00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:53,185
We're gonna get some massages...
- What?
186
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:54,478
- While you're looking
at the water.
187
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,063
Real nice setup.
Trust me.
188
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,857
You're gonna love it. Mwah!
- Are you crazy?
189
00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,483
The water right there?
You're gonna get electrocuted.
190
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,986
It should go in my room,
which has a view of the pool.
191
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:05,114
Also, you'll have access
to my 300-CD disc carousel.
192
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:08,159
Hit "rando", lean back,
jam-oh-nay.
193
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,869
- Y'all don't even know
about my squad!
194
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,412
- Great, now he's yelling.
- Okay?
195
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:15,041
'Cause I got movie posters
in... in my room.
196
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,835
Shazam, Blue Chips,
Steel.
197
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,253
All Shaq movie posters,
mostly,
198
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,088
because I think
he's a fantastic actor.
199
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,382
And also one Chris Mullin
basketball poster.
200
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:24,759
- I hate to put my foot down...
- Not a movie.
201
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,260
- But I actually talked
to the real guy.
202
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,720
- I thought there was
a Chris Mullin movie.
203
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,472
- So I think that that means
that I have...
204
00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:31,057
- Dibs. Oh!
- I was just gonna say dibs!
205
00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:32,558
- Dibs.
- Oh, yeah!
206
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,643
- I have the only car
that can pick it up.
207
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:35,936
- You did!
- Hey!
208
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,480
- Oh, you did it
before I could do it!
209
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,065
You did it before I could do it!
- Stop! What are...
210
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,691
Don't push me!
Now he's in there. Great.
211
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,359
- Not doing it.
I'm not doing it.
212
00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:43,652
- Blake, you don't even know
how to drive, man.
213
00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:45,237
- Shut up. Yes, I do.
- Come on.
214
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:46,864
- Listen, you are playing
with fire, Henderson...
215
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,407
[engine turns over]
Hey! Whoa, turn that off!
216
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,909
- Just pretend
it's Cruis'n USA
217
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:51,160
and you're 30 minutes early
for your movie.
218
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:52,661
- Open up!
219
00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:54,330
Hey!
220
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,166
- And "R" for really fast.
Here we go!
221
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,793
- Hey!
- [laughs]
222
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,420
- Blake, come on.
[Blake continues laughing]
223
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:02,922
- Come on!
- I'm doing it!
224
00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:04,298
[laughs]
225
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,758
- You let me in!
- Stop kicking the car.
226
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,718
- You let me in!
- Stop kicking my car!
227
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:10,888
- And I'm moonwalkin'
out of here, baby.
228
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,349
- You are messing with my life
and my chair!
229
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,767
- Yeah, right, you...
- Stop kicking it!
230
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:16,143
I'm gonna karate...
231
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,686
- See ya, bye-bye.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
232
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:20,189
Hey, dude, dude, don't...
Do not back up any more!
233
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,733
- Oh, yeah? Why?
'Cause you want the car back?
234
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,860
- No!
[boom]
235
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,154
- Oh, what the hell?
- Awesome.
236
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,698
Well, I hope you're happy.
Now nobody gets a massage chair.
237
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,912
- Well,
then I guess I'm a nobody.
238
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,414
[funky music]
Oh, yeah, baby!
239
00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,583
- Hey, dude!
- Whoo!
240
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,377
- Ow!
241
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:46,132
[beatboxing]
242
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,967
- Watch it!
Wait!
243
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,510
- No, wait!
244
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,220
- Freeze, motherfucker!
245
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,222
This is a real gun!
It's a real gun!
246
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,515
It's a real gun!
Get up!
247
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,517
Get up! Get up!
248
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,852
It's not a real gun.
It was a hand.
249
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,145
- What is this guy doing?
250
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,980
- It was a hand, obviously,
idiot.
251
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,398
- Oh, wet butt,
wet butt, wet butt!
252
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,816
You gotta get out!
- What... what the hell?
253
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,317
Ew, that's gross,
that's gross!
254
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,694
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Your brakes don't work!
255
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,195
Whoa, whoa!
Dude, chill.
256
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,613
I need to check the brakes
really quick.
257
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,448
Psych!
I'm stealing it.
258
00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:12,825
[laughs]
259
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,660
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
260
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,162
What the hell are you doing?
261
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:18,831
- We're appreciating ourselves,
dickhead!
262
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,207
Whoo!
263
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,002
- Get back here, scumbags!
264
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,504
- Ha, ha, ha!
Outta my way, Koopa Troopa.
265
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,047
Yoshi coming through!
266
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,549
- You're not Yoshi, dude.
267
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,384
In fact,
you're Princess Peach.
268
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,970
I'm Bowser.
Ders is that bitch, Luigi.
269
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,388
[horn blares]
- Oh!
270
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,307
Oh, whatever, dude.
Luigi's cool!
271
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:37,600
But let's face the facts,
DeMamp.
272
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,226
You're Toadstool all day.
273
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,145
- No, no, no, no, no!
274
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,563
If I'm not Bowser,
I'm definitely freakin' Wario!
275
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,064
I'm no bitch-ass Toad.
276
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,275
- I'm not even in the same game
as you bitches!
277
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:47,693
I'm in Diddy Kong Racing,
baby!
278
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,778
- Wait a second,
if we're changing games,
279
00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:52,239
I'm Pierce Brosnan in 007.
- All right.
280
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,866
[energetic rock music]
Heads up.
281
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,576
- Okay, fine, I can live
with all that,
282
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:56,952
as long as I'm Wario.
283
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,245
- Can you live with this?
284
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,496
- Whoa!
- Thank you.
285
00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,458
- [laughing]
Yeah!
286
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,335
- Hey, Blazer,
you break my 'Vo-kart,
287
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:05,586
I break your go-kart!
288
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,004
- Oh!
289
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,797
The chair is mine, Ders!
290
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:11,717
I need you to bottle your rage
like you always do.
291
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,719
- Hey!
What the hell?
292
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,638
- Come on.
Come on!
293
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:18,098
Come on!
294
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,684
Oh.
It's the "on" switch, so...
295
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,895
[motor putters]
296
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:29,026
♪ ♪
297
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:31,278
- Yagh!
- Argh!
298
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,613
Well done, young squire.
299
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,281
Perhaps you'd like me
to get
300
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,076
Medieval Times
all up in your b-hole.
301
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,786
- You wanna joust?
302
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,412
Let's joust!
303
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,122
- You're not gonna steal
this chair from me,
304
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,291
just like you've stolen
everything else.
305
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,002
Like that drunk girl, Haley,
who came over to our house,
306
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,462
and I had her!
307
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,880
- What?
- Huh?
308
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,757
- Hang on a second.
- No, no, no, forget it.
309
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,008
Ah, it's in the past.
310
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,927
Let's joust, though.
Ha ha!
311
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,595
- All right.
312
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:57,846
[dramatic drumbeats]
- Yeah!
313
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,807
- Aah!
- Yah!
314
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,518
- Yeah!
- Yah!
315
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,271
[both screaming]
316
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:08,232
- Oh, oh!
- Oh-oh-oh!
317
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:09,483
[both groaning]
318
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,151
- It's-a me, Wario!
319
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,195
I'm-a gonna win!
- No!
320
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,947
- What? No.
321
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,991
- You idiots are going
the wrong way!
322
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,242
That's the wrong way!
323
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:21,161
- I'm-a gonna win.
324
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,706
Whoo! Yeah!
325
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,292
Oh, ow!
Ow!
326
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,794
Okay, what the fug?
Yeah, okay, ow!
327
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,213
How are you so good?
328
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:34,008
You should all be
professional golfers... Ow!
329
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,676
Fuck!
330
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,012
Here we go, baby.
Here we go, baby!
331
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,556
Yeah! I...
[screams]
332
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:43,517
Oh, god!
333
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,768
- Ho-ho!
334
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,478
Hey, DeMamp,
you give up now,
335
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,814
I promise to let you sit
in my chair...
336
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:51,233
for 15 minutes
every two weeks, ya bitch!
337
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,985
- It's not fair.
338
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,696
There's a 50% chance that 100%
of my legs are broken.
339
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,574
I'm just coasting
on pure adrenaline right now.
340
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,409
Quit hitting me!
341
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,871
- Yeah, all right.
342
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,581
That was sick.
- Nice move, nice move.
343
00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:07,791
I used to, uh...
I used to do moves myself.
344
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,209
- Hey, dude, hang on, man.
345
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,253
We're trying to get
some footy, bro.
346
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,714
- Sorry, pimpin'.
I got a massage chair to get.
347
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,424
- What can I get you, bud?
348
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,968
- I'm gonna need three
Neapolitan ice cream sandwiches
349
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,720
and a ride.
350
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,221
There's $7 there.
351
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,432
Come on.
352
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:26,143
[grunts]
353
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,687
[techno music]
354
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,023
[horn blares]
355
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,609
- Yo, yo, yo, I need two large
pepperoni pizzas
356
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:36,528
delivered to 14934
Isabel Street.
357
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:37,988
- Okay.
- Matter of fact, erase that.
358
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,574
Just whatever the fastest pizza
you can make is.
359
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,701
- I got raw pizza.
That's pretty fast.
360
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,203
Takes, like,
a couple minutes.
361
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:45,871
- Raw pizza?
- Yeah.
362
00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:47,164
It's actually pretty good.
363
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,041
It's almost like
regular pizza,
364
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:51,502
but it's, like,
more rawer.
365
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:54,004
- Uh, well, um,
366
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,215
think I could get two
of those?
367
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,759
- [laughs]
Uh, yea-uh.
368
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,761
- [laughs]
- That could work.
369
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,388
- All right.
- You want anything else?
370
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,306
- Uh, nope,
just the two pizzas.
371
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,600
- Okay, cool.
- Ooh ooh ooh! Wait, whoa.
372
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,019
Let me get some of that
cheesy breadsticks.
373
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,771
- Well, I can hook that up too.
- Cool.
374
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,899
- Do you got some...
anything else to go with this?
375
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,275
- I'll suck your tits.
376
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,444
- You gonna suck my tits?
- I will.
377
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,780
- I'll throw in
an extra breadstick for that.
378
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,615
- Let's go!
Come on, Ramon.
379
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,450
You help me get
that massage chair,
380
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,662
you're looking at a lifetime
of free massages, my man.
381
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,247
Unless I'm already signed up
for that massage time,
382
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:29,790
in which case, you know,
383
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:30,999
you'll have to figure
something else out.
384
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:32,126
I wish you had
Neapolitan ice cream...
385
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,210
- Hello, boys!
386
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:34,711
- Hey... come on!
- Later, skater.
387
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,088
- Let's go, Ramon!
388
00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,381
Who you calling
a skater, dude?
389
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:38,632
You're the skater.
390
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,551
- Au contraire, mon dickhead.
391
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:41,885
I'm a RipStiker.
392
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,262
- Look who's winning.
- Wait.
393
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:44,471
- Special delivery!
394
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,765
- What are you doing?
- Agh!
395
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,101
- Quit your skitching,
you bitch.
396
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,769
Where'd you get a car?
397
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,020
- Up your butt
and around the corner.
398
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,814
Ugh!
399
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,357
- Oh!
400
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,067
- Whoa!
- [laughing hysterically]
401
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,653
I hope you like pepperoni!
402
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,448
[tires screech]
Whoaaaagh!
403
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:03,866
No, no, Jo!
404
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,409
You gotta keep going
to the finish line!
405
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:06,702
Deliver me!
406
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:08,495
- What the hell
is wrong with you?
407
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:09,955
You don't throw food
out of my window.
408
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,373
- You don't tell me
what to do!
409
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:12,833
I paid you
for your services.
410
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,710
Now I'm basically your boss.
Now drive!
411
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:18,172
- Oh, get the fuck out
before I beat your skinny ass.
412
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,715
- What about the weed?
- Oh, my god.
413
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,216
- Do me a solid.
- I'm gonna throat punch you.
414
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:22,676
Where is my belt?
- You are a psychopath.
415
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,970
You know that?
Your customer service sucks ass.
416
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:27,473
- Gimme those! Gimme those!
- Screw you! These are mine.
417
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,308
[tires screeching]
Whoa, whoa!
418
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:32,811
- And guess what.
You suck at sucking tits.
419
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:40,903
- ♪ We came here ♪
- ♪ To do what? ♪
420
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,821
- Stop following me.
- I can follow anyone I want.
421
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,281
It's a free country.
422
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:45,908
Except for my
seventh grade teacher
423
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,993
and her two daughters,
but that expires next year.
424
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,244
Blake, back the fug up!
425
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,412
- You guys
are both really slow.
426
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,122
- Yeah,
I'm faster than you are.
427
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,458
Okay, okay, well, until
you started running all fast.
428
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,627
- How'd he do that?
- Get back here!
429
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,253
- [laughs]
[knock at door]
430
00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,922
- I'm here for the chair!
Yes, I win, I win.
431
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,340
- No, I won. I got it.
- Ah, ah, ah.
432
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:02,966
I was here first, sir.
- No.
433
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,676
- And plus, you don't want
these filthy animals
434
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,429
sitting their dirty-ass butts
in your seat, okay?
435
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,348
Would you like a breadstick?
- He doesn't want a breadstick.
436
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,558
My butt is wildly clean.
437
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,435
If, like, I'm on the couch
and I have to fart,
438
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,646
like, I get up
and I walk away,
439
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,523
unless it was, like,
an emergency fart
440
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,691
or, like, I'm super tired
or it's an accidental fart
441
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,109
and just slipped
out of my butthole, so...
442
00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:22,903
- Hey.
The guy just picked it up.
443
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,488
- Guy? What guy?
- The guy who phoned.
444
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,323
I don't know.
- Okay.
445
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,283
How 'bout you just give him
a call for us, hmm?
446
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,077
You can see that I'm
a little tense, right,
447
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,620
and wouldn't mind
a little me-ssage.
448
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:33,205
- Oh, that would be great.
- Oh.
449
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,666
- He's behind you.
[dog barking]
450
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,626
- Said it like it was
a haunted house.
451
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,086
- Oh!
Guys, our chair!
452
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,337
Ders, gimme your iPhone!
I got an idea!
453
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:41,588
- What? Here.
454
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:42,881
- [grunts]
- Oh... what the fuck?
455
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,299
[cell phone clanks in truck]
- Yes!
456
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,968
All right!
- What are you talking about?
457
00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:47,761
- What, man?
We track the iPhone,
458
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,639
intercept the truck,
and then it's on to phase two,
459
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,015
which... I'm not sure
what that is yet,
460
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,309
but I'm open for suggestions.
461
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:57,104
- Blake, you have to have
an iPhone to track an iPhone.
462
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,897
- Doesn't Adam have an iPhone?
463
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,649
- No, I have
a Blackberry Touch.
464
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:02,651
In fact, I dropped it
in a toilet recently,
465
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,361
so I no longer have that.
466
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,821
I've been giving chicks,
like, Ders' number,
467
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:08,782
saying that I have a butler.
- What?
468
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,576
Okay, I haven't gotten
one call for you.
469
00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:12,578
- Yeah, right.
- I haven't.
470
00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:13,829
- Sarah hasn't called?
- No.
471
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,080
- Jessica?
- Mm-mm.
472
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:16,748
- Parker?
- She did not.
473
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,208
- Sarah Jessica Parker.
474
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:19,626
Okay, yeah, I was fooled.
475
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,169
Freakin' chicks, right?
476
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:24,006
- Dudes, I've got an idea.
477
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,841
But it means
we have to work together.
478
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,509
- Fine. I don't care.
I'll work together.
479
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,136
So we'll share the chair.
- All right, I will too.
480
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,387
- And so will I.
Hey, guys.
481
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:32,055
"Chairing" is caring.
482
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,307
- [chortles]
483
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,850
Psych.
Not funny to me.
484
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:36,476
- Okay, what's your plan,
hmm, tough guy?
485
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,478
- Well, it involves
a lot of running,
486
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,063
but I just saw the dude
turn right, and I think I know
487
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:41,690
where we can cut him off.
488
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,692
Come on, let's go.
Wait... Skip to save energy.
489
00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:46,069
- Hmm? Okay.
490
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:47,571
I'm just gonna jog.
491
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:50,407
Yes, very good.
I look fully hit-and-runned.
492
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,742
Good phase two, Beezer.
493
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:53,118
- Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
494
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,703
You know,
I've had a subscription
495
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,330
to Fangoria magazine
for quite a while now,
496
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,873
and, you know,
you pick up some tricks
497
00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:00,417
and tips from here and there
and time to time.
498
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,044
Okay, Adam, would you...
Don't eat the bone.
499
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:03,462
What are you doing?
- Sorry.
500
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:04,838
I just wanted to see
what it tastes like.
501
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,256
- Come on, man!
- Yo, dudes, dudes, dudes!
502
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:07,799
- Tastes like garlic bread.
- Here he comes.
503
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,593
Light turned green, let's go.
- All right.
504
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:10,969
Okay, showtime.
Moan... Moan a lot.
505
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,387
- Yes, yes, okay.
506
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,306
[moaning sensually]
Ohh.
507
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:15,724
Oh, God, help.
508
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,976
- Hey.
- I've been hit by a car.
509
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,604
- Adam!
Less sexual, more pain!
510
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,522
- Yeah, no, this is my pain.
511
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:23,899
If you heard my sex noises,
512
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:25,859
you'd bust
in your drawers, dude.
513
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,402
- Of course we would.
Now focus!
514
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:28,779
- Oh!
515
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:31,073
Oh, God, help!
Oh, help me.
516
00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:33,241
- Ah, shoot, man.
Are you all right?
517
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:37,913
- Oh, I was hit by a car,
and it just drove away.
518
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,915
- Is that your bone?
- Oh, everything hurts.
519
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,250
- Oh, that's... that's terrible.
All right, look.
520
00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:44,086
I'm gonna call...
- I did a lot of running earlier
521
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:47,089
so I've got some soreness
in my quads as well.
522
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,049
- Hey, 911, yeah, there's a...
I have an emergency.
523
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:52,344
Um, there's a guy
on the... on the road,
524
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,763
and, uh, and there's, uh,
uh, um, cars driving by.
525
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:56,348
He got hit.
- [moaning] Oh, god.
526
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:57,766
- I don't know,
I'm not a doctor,
527
00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,267
but his... it looks like
it's his arm.
528
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:01,561
It's... there's a...
There's a...
529
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,855
A bone jagging out,
and it's bl...
530
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,899
It's got blood and stuff
all over it.
531
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,609
I-I don't know.
You want...
532
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,736
You want me
to apply pressure?
533
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,405
Yeah, I don't want
to touch it, but...
534
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,739
- Oh, it hurts.
- All right.
535
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:13,990
I gotta apply pressure.
536
00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:15,283
I got some towels
in my truck.
537
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,535
Just don't go to the light.
538
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,537
- No, no! No!
No towels!
539
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:19,788
Please, no towels!
540
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,832
- Ders.
- What's up, dude?
541
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,208
- Dude, check it out,
check it out.
542
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,793
Got your phone. Bazinga.
- I don't care.
543
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,294
Just grab the rope, okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
544
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:28,255
- Oh, the pressure.
It hurts so much.
545
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,132
- He says it hurts too much.
546
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,092
- I'm parched.
[gags]
547
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,177
Oh, I need some electrolytes.
548
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,763
Some Budweiser Energy,
maybe some "B"-
549
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,348
"B" to the "E"
at the store down there.
550
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,100
If you could run
to the store down there...
551
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,476
- Look, the lady says
if I don't apply pressure,
552
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:42,602
you're gonna die.
553
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,396
- Is that what the lady says?
554
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,398
Tell that lady to...
555
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,525
suck a di-ack!
556
00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,571
- And then he just ran away.
557
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,072
Yeah, he ran off.
558
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:55,699
I don't know,
eating his arm.
559
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,784
It's like that movie, yeah,
with the zombie...
560
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,120
Zombie Apocalypse, yeah.
It's exactly like that.
561
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,830
- Oh, yes!
- All right!
562
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,290
- Yeah, we did it!
563
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,333
- Elbow.
- [laughs]
564
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,502
- Yeah!
- We did it!
565
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,045
Oh, my god, you see me acting
with that dude?
566
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,881
I was acting so hard.
567
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,132
- We're gonna lower her down,
baby.
568
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,675
- Put her down.
- Here she comes.
569
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:14,926
- All right, nice and easy.
570
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,428
It's a precious cargo here.
571
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:17,846
Nice...
572
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,556
- What a beauty.
573
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,349
Can't wait to share her
with you guys.
574
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:23,143
- Yeah.
- It's a delicate machine.
575
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,603
- I love you again.
576
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,772
[truck horn blares]
Hey, pull it up!
577
00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:28,482
- No, no, no!
- Oh, no!
578
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,317
- No, no!
579
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,319
[all screaming]
580
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,820
[beatboxing]
581
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,530
- ♪ He's insane ♪
582
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:42,996
[Goo Goo Dolls' Iris]
583
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,664
- Whoa.
Are you guys okay?
584
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:45,791
You look like hell.
585
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:46,958
What the hell happened
to you?
586
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,210
- Nothing happened to us.
587
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:49,836
Except for having
the worst lunch
588
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,671
of our entire
freaking existences.
589
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,131
- Pretty bad.
Could've been great.
590
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,466
Could've been very great,
591
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,343
but it slipped
through our fingers
592
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:57,719
and shattered in the road,
so...
593
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,513
- Alice, you ever had a dream,
594
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,264
and that dream
was hit by a semi
595
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,266
and exploded on impact?
596
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,143
- No, can't say
that I have.
597
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,354
Look, I don't know
what happened to you guys,
598
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:11,024
but I might have some news
that could cheer you up.
599
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,151
I thought a lot
about what you said
600
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,945
about not feeling
appreciated,
601
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,404
and I can't believe
I'm saying this,
602
00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:18,073
but I think
you might be right.
603
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:21,660
So, as a little "thank you,"
604
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,745
I'm getting the office
605
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:26,164
the massage chair
from the bulletin board.
606
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,624
- No.
- What?
607
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,043
- Yeah.
Pretty cool, right?
608
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,045
Massages for everyone.
609
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,296
I don't know, the delivery guy
was supposed to be here
610
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,422
like 20 minutes ago.
611
00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:35,674
I don't know where he is.
612
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:36,800
- He was supposed
to bring it here?
613
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:37,926
- Yeah.
- No, no, no, no.
614
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:39,344
- Massages all around.
- Yeah.
615
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:40,887
- Oh...
- Oh, there he is.
616
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,639
- What? Oh.
- Yep, that's him.
617
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,683
- Thank you for appreciating us.
- Don't you...
618
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,059
All right.
- Hey, are you Alice Murphy?
619
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,978
- Yeah, that's me.
620
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,229
Do you have the chair?
You're late.
621
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,689
- Oh.
Well, I had it.
622
00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:52,732
I picked it up,
and I was halfway here,
623
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,276
and then it was...
It was just gone.
624
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:57,112
- Are you kidding?
You owe me a massage chair.
625
00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,990
You owe this office
a massage chair.
626
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,408
Hey, guys, guess what.
627
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,201
I ordered you
a massage chair
628
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:06,121
'cause I'm a cool-ass boss,
and this guy lost it.
629
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:09,249
- I ought to bash
your pretty face in.
630
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,209
- [flutters lips]
- Hello?
631
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:12,627
- I can't believe that...
- Wait.
632
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,170
- She got the massage chair.
633
00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,797
- I'm sorry, sir,
could you repeat that?
634
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:17,299
I didn't hear you.
635
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,510
- I'm interested
in your erect chin pills.
636
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,095
[both snickering]
637
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,515
- Why? Do you have trouble
getting an erect chin?
638
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:27,350
- Yes, I've always wanted one.
639
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:31,855
I think girls would like it.
640
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,148
- Bill?
641
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,817
Oh, my god!
642
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:38,987
You can't take a pill to help
you with your limp chin.
643
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,155
- It wasn't me.
644
00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:42,699
- This joke freakin' rules!
645
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:45,994
Yeah! Don't mess
with my squad, Bill!
646
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,245
Yeah.
- This is our guy.
647
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:48,580
This is my guy.
648
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,624
[giggles]
649
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,923
- [chuckles]
650
00:20:58,049 --> 00:20:59,925
- Nice.
651
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,010
[dog snorts]
[party horn blows]
652
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,306
- ♪ And I don't want ♪
653
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:09,184
♪ The world to see me ♪
654
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,560
♪ 'Cause I don't think ♪
655
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:12,896
- Oh!
Oh, I'm in too much pain.
656
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,773
[moaning sensually]
I'm in too much pain.
657
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,108
- ♪ When everything's made
to be broken ♪
658
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,569
- Ahh!
Ahh!
47760
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