All language subtitles for 2-16

I really like Valentine's day
in this office.

It's kind of like grade school.

Everybody gives out
little presents and stuff.

Like, last year, Jim gave me
this card with Dwight's head on it.

It was horrifying
and funny and...

Phyllis.

Man: You could just sign here.

Pam: Roy and I
are saving for the wedding.

Sol made him promise not
to get me anything too big.

"Happy Valentine's day, darling.
Love, Bob Vance, Vance refrigeration."

Isn't he sweet? Oh, yeah.

Wow.

All right, Dwight, as you know
I'm heading to New York today,

doing a presentation
on the branch to the new cfo.

And you want me to come with
you. No. The opposite of that.

I will stay here and run
things on this end. Very good.

Question: Will you be seeing
jan when you're in New York?

I probably will. Why do you ask?

Well, it's Valentine's day.
And you guys, you know...

Well... screwed.

What is your problem?

This is a business trip. I
would have to be a raving lunatic

to try to talk to jan about
what happened between us.

Her words, not mine. She
sent me an e-mail this morning.

But it is Valentine's day.

It's New York. The city of love.

Hey, Pam. You heart NY, right?
You want me to pick you up anything?

That's okay. All right.

The best present would be, you do
a good job in front of the new cfo.

Dude. I'm going to nail it.

Me in New York? Oh, I own
that city. "Forget about it!"

See you.

Well, here we go,
on our way to New York.

New York, New York.

The city so nice,
they named it twice.

Manhattan is the other name.

Jim: So, I broke up with Katy and I
haven't been dating anybody else.

So, this year I don't have to
worry about Valentine's day.

It's going to be good. I
invited a couple of friends over.

We're gonna play some cards and
I'll end up winning a lot of money,

because they're idiots.

It's gonna be great.

What's this? What is this?

I don't know. It's on your desk.

Yeah, but who put it here?
And for what purpose?

It was there when I sat down.

"Happy Valentine's day."

It's me.

I'm the bobble head.

Yes!

The meeting isn't till 3:00.

But I always like to come
to New York a little bit early,

and hit
some of my favorite haunts.

Like right here is my
favorite New York pizza joint.

And I'm going to go get me
a New York slice.

Hey, Kelly, what's up? Nothing.

Oh! Except... oh, my god, Jim.

Last night, Ryan and I
totally, finally hooked up.

It was awesome. That's
great. I'm really happy for you.

I know, and it was so funny. 'Cause
we were at this bar with his friends,

and I was sitting next to him
the whole night,

and he wasn't making a move.
So in my head I was like,

"Ryan, what's taking you
solong?" And then he kissed me.

And I didn't know
what to say. Wow.

So I said,"
Ryan, what took you so long?"

I mean, I just said it to him.
Can you believe that?

Wow. Oh, my god, Jim,
is that embarrassing?

I'm embarrassed. No. Don't be.

Oh, thank god, because I
was nervous, Jim. No. All right...

You will not believe I
was so nervous. I bet.

But now... now I have
a boyfriend. All right.

I hooked up with her
on February 13th.

Here it is. The heart of new
York city, Times Square.

Named for the good times
you have when you're in it.

Most people,
when they come to New York,

they go straight to
the empire state building.

That's pretty touristy.
I come here.

Great places to eat.

We have bubba gump shrimp,
red lobster down there.

You know...

This is the heart
of civilization, right here.

Guess what. Really?

It's from Bob, again.
That's great.

Everybody takes
the subway in New York.

It's fast. It's efficient.
Gets you there on time.

It's a way to... okay, there's a guy
pooping in a cardboard box down there.

This is the world-famous
rockefeller center,

founded, of course,
by Theodore rockefeller.

This is the skating rink.

And I think the rangers
practice there sometimes.

And it's...

That's Tina fey.

That's Tina fey
from Saturday night live.

Hello. Hello. Hi.

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.

I thought you were...
Okay. I thought that was...

She looked like... she
looked a lot like Tina fey.

Hello, hello.

I thought that was Tina fey,
but itwasn't. So...

Are you serious? He was here?

When? When I was talking
to the fake Tina fey?

Come on! Are you serious?

Hello, Angela, did you hear?

Somebody totally rocked the house and
got me the best present I've ever gotten.

Really? I wouldn't
know anything about that.

But I'm glad you
enjoyed it. Oh, I did. I did.

I didn't get anything
for Valentine's day.

Oh, I bet you will,
before the day is over.

Really? Well, I hope I do.

Michael: I would love to live in new
York someday. It's a big dream of mine.

Work at corporate with jan.
That would be awesome.

Go to Broadway shows,
eat hot dogs.

Scranton is great, but...

New York
is like Scranton on acid.

No, on speed. No, on steroids.

Okay, um...

I think,

that's either the Hudson
or the east, so we're back...

Should be back this way.

Michael: There's a lot
of pressure on me right now.

It's like Michael Jordan
in the NBA finals,

or like
stormin' Norman schwarzkopf.

And this presentation
is desert storm.

And as soon as it's over,

we will not have to deal
with those Iraqis anymore.

Let's do it.

No, that's all right. Spend money on her
instead of giving it to us, that's fine.

No. I didn't even have
a seat for you anyway.

Yeah.

All right, man.

Okay, have a good night. Bye.

Phyllis lapin? Holy god.

It's from Bob.

Man, that thing's
nggerthanlanm no, it's not.

Oh, zip it. Wow.

There they are. What's up?

Hey. Hey, hey.

Michael Scott.
Josh Porter. High five.

Bam. All right.

You know Dan Gore, from
buffalo? Yeah, how you doing?

Nobody needs to introduce
this guy. Craiggers.

What's up, buddy?
You have been kicked out

of every strip club in Albany,
is that true? Guilty, yeah.

Well... so, what's
going on? What'd I miss?

Not much. They're, I
guess, running late upstairs.

We're just waiting
for the presentations.

Cool, good, good. Good. Give
us some time to catch up and...

Pam. Hi, how're you doing? Good.

Listen, may I speak with you,

privately?

You can't fire me, Dwight,
just 'cause Michael's not here.

No, Pam, just... i'm...

Just_

Please.

You need to get something

for your girlfriend?
Girlfriend, yes.

And the reason I didn't get
anything for this particular person,

who shall remain nameless,

is that she's not really the kind of person
you'd think would be into Valentine's day.

She's kind of... tightly wound?

Exactly. Okay. Well,

sometimes the gift is really
about the gesture, you know,

like, what it means
instead of what it is.

You mean, like a ham?

No, not like a ham.

It's about doing something,

so that the person knows
that you really care abouthen

that you remember her.
Okay, I get it. That's great.

Okay, shut up.
I know exactly what to do.

What about you, Craig?
Did you lose anyone?

Oh, man.

Jan called me in September, and
she's like, "you gotta fire four people,"

and I was just like,
"what?" You know.

Did you? No. I just ignored
her. She is the worst.

Well, she is our boss, so...

She ain't my boss, dude.
I don't work for that bitch.

Hey, come on,
you know, that's not...

Cool it. What?

You like jan?
How can you like jan?

Maybe because
she's my girlfriend.

Was. Or not my girlfriend.
She...

We hooked up and...
You hooked up with jan?

It's just, you know, it was
months ago. Just... itwasjust once.

It was, god, just stupid.
Just... just forget it.

Yeahjetschange the
subject. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know what he's thinking,

but I would just be so psyched
if we just dated forever.

Well, I'd take it slow.

'Cause it seems like a lot of
the time, things like that need to...

Soda. Cool

hey, so, do you want
to do something tonight, or...

Oh, no, not while I'm here.

I mean, I know that it's
Valentine's day or whatever.

But there's totally no pressure
at all of any kind whatsoever. So...

I can't tonight.
I have plans with my friends.

Okay, that's cool. Okay.

I completely understand. Cool.

Okay.

Josh Porter, stamford.

David. Nice to meet you.

And Michael Scott, Scranton.

Nice to meet you. Ditto.

How are you, jan?
Fine, Michael, thank you.

Okay. So, we are in the process
of doing a complete review

of the company's
financial strength.

All I'd like to do today
is to hear you...

Jan: Nervous?
No, I'm not nervous.

Well, I mean, I guess I'd be lying
if I didn't say I was a little nervous.

The new cfo
isjudging me on this, too.

And, well, it is Michael, so...

Yeah. I am very nervous.

So, with the 12 new
local accounts,

we had a total of
four percent organic growth,

which was just above our
pre-year targets. Thanks very much.

Thank you. Okay, Michael.

What is a business?

Is it a collection of numbers
and sales reports?

Sure. But, as you know,
David, and jan,

it is much more.

Michael: Life moves a little
slower in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

And that's the way we like it.

Because at dunder Mifflin,
Scranton,

we 're not just
in the paper business.

We 're in the people business.

Let's meet some of the folks

who make the Scranton branch
so special.

This is Stanley Hudson,
one of our talented salesmen.

An African-American
father of two,

Stanley's dedication is no
doubt one of the hallmarks

of the foundation of the business
we 're hoping to build our basis on.

Michael: Yeah, I shot a bunch
of footage around the office,

edited it together on my Mac.

Was thinking about entering it
in some festivals. Probably won't.

You know,
not what this is about, but...

Michael: And finally,
Pam bees/y.

Look at her. Look how cute.

Not bad at all.

As the receptionist,

Pam is truly
the gateway to our world.

Well, I hope this gave you
a little taste

of what life is like here
at dunder Mifflin, Scranton.

What it's like to walk a
mile in Oscar's shoes,

or try on Phyllis' pants.

Next time you're in town,
give us a call. Stop on by.

I'm sure you'll be greeted by a big
smile, and a "how're you doing, pal?"

Maybe even one ofangela's
famous brownies.

And you'll know
that you're home.

Male voice: Great Scott!

Questions?

Wow.

Okay. Okay, thank you,
Michael, that was great.

Yes, thank you.

But for right now, what I'd really like to
know about is the branch's performance.

So, do you have
that information as well?

Yes. Absolutely, David.

Let me get that for you. I...

Yeah. Can you sign?

Oscar.

Nothing for me? Join the club.

Vvhositfiom? Mymom.

It's frustrating, 'cause
we'd be so perfect together.

You know what?
Here's the deal, Kelly.

It would be really nice if he
was into you, right? It'd be great.

But he isn't. So... yeah, but
itwould be so great if he was.

Well, he's not, though.
So you just gotta suck it up.

You just gotta move on,
try to have some fun.

Come to my poker game tonight.

Okay, cool.

Is it okay if I invite Ryan?

And that about does it,
thank you.

Okay.

Craig.

Yeah, here's the deal.
I did not understand

that this was supposed to be
a full-on, like, report or whatnot.

I'm sorry, what did you think
financial presentation meant?

I was under the impression this was
more of, like, a meet-and-greet type deal.

So, does that mean that you don't
have the numbers on your branch?

That is correct. Yes.

Craig, you realize
that we're trying to decide

whether drastic steps
need to be taken.

Look, I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Well, the point is, that this doesn't
exactly bode well for your branch.

Oh, man. You know what?

Michael made that stupid movie,
he doesn't get in any trouble.

Maybe I should have
slept with you, too.

Okay, okay. All right, this... no,
no, no. I'm not... I'm not... I just...

I just don't know
what to do anymore, Michael.

I mean,
I'm probably gonna get fired.

No, you're not.

Yeah, I... Michael, the cfo
thinks that we slept together.

Don't you understand?
People get fired for much less.

And I just can't believe
that you told everybody.

And we didn't even
sleep together.

Technically, we fell asleep
in the same bed.

Oh, god. So...

Michael, it was months ago.

It was once. It's over.

Do you understand?

Yes, I'm sorry.

I'll fix it. I will talk to
him. I'll talk to David.

Surely, you cannot be serious.

I am serious.

"And don't call me Shirley."
Airplane!

Dwight: Women are like wolves.

If you want a wolf,
you have to trap it.

You have to snare it.

And then you have to tame it.

Keep it happy.
Care for it. Feed it.

Lovingly. The way an
animal deserves to be loved.

And my animal deserves
a lot of loving.

Hey. Hey, babe.

You almost ready to go?
I guess. Yeah.

What's wrong? Nothing.

It's just that
I had to sit here all day

while Phyllis got, like, an
entire garden delivered to her.

What? You're mad at me?

I mean, I know that we said,
"no big gifts,"

but I was, kind of, hoping you'd get
me something for Valentine's day.

Well, Valentine's day
isn't over.

Let's get you home and you are
gonna get the best sex of your life.

You understand this is
a very serious situation.

No, no, no, no, no.
Yes, I... okay, well...

All right, here's the deal. This
is my fault, this is totally on me.

Before you guys came in,
I was talking to the guys.

We were all chatting
and I made a joke,

a really dumbjoke, and
Craig, the idiot, took it seriously.

You made a joke?
I did. It was stupid.

And Craig, you saw him, he's
not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Although he is a tool.

Well, I don't need to explain
to you that even a joke

about sexual relations
with your boss...

I know.
It was borderline at best.

And jan is a fantastic executive

and has all the integrity
in the world and...

I'm really sorry, and that
will never happen again.

That's fine.
Let's just... just forget it.

Okay. Good.

Heading out? Yeah.

All right, beesly.
Hey, happy Valentine's day.

Good night, Pam. Night, Phyllis.

Jan: Michael.

Thank you again for that,
really.

It was very nice.
Oh, no big deal.

Really, sorry again. Oh,
no, it's okay. Yeah, it's okay.

So... happy Valentine's day.

Yeah, happy Valentine's day.

Okay.