Original subtitles

All right.

Doing great.

Now, see here, we're flying at 5,000 feet.

We're level trim.

We're going to start taking her in.

Okay, now, you're absolutely sure you want to do this?

Oh, yes. It's always been a dream of mine to fly a plane. I'm just a little

nervous. It's all right. It's all right. I will be right here.

Okay, ready? Here we go.

Okay, she's all yours.

Okay. All right, now, ease up on the yoke. Start taking her down.

This is great.

I'm really doing it.

Oh, what was that? It's okay. It's all right. It's a little turbulence.

Okay, now, here.

He's up on the throttle.

Just keep her level.

Oh, I'm okay. I'm okay.

Joe, how much longer do I have to do this?

Just a little while longer, Lo. It's Faye's birthday.

Right.

Oh, that's right. Last night was Walter's bachelor party.

Oh, are you guys hungover?

Helen, five coffees, please.

Oh, you might want to see if these guys want some.

After the bachelor party, follow the usual routine.

You drink till your eyes spin, drool over the obligatory stripper, then go

home and throw up.

Not necessarily in that order.

Uh, here's your tool. about Lowell, a girl named Evangeline dropped it off

this morning.

Evangeline?

She's my sister.

You don't have a sister.

Oh, right, right.

She's my sister's friend.

Lowell? Oh, Lowell, right.

She was a stripper at Walter's bachelor party.

Might you shame it out of me?

What was she doing with her tool belt?

Nothing you'd ever see on this old house.

night, guys.

All I can say is thanks.

Walter.

Walter.

You had as much to drink as I did last night. How is it you have energy to burn

and I feel like I've slept with a herd of goats?

That is just a feeling, right?

I'm an air traffic controller, guys.

I have to be at the top of my form at all times so I can make those split

-second decisions.

What can I get you, Walter? Just coffee. Okay.

Or do I want orange juice?

I'll have tea.

Do I want tea?

Yeah.

Tea.

So, you getting a little nervous about the wedding tomorrow?

No. I'm looking forward to it.

My brother's flying in from Philadelphia, Ramona's family's on a

plane from Boston, and my parents are due in from New York any minute.

As a matter of fact, they're all set to land at about the same... Whoa!

Hold the tea.

That's weird. I'm not that close to Walter, but for some reason I'm really

looking forward to his wedding.

Why is that?

Well, maybe it's because when we see two people about to start a new life

together, it renews our own feelings of hope and promise.

Or because there's nothing else to do on this stinking island prison we call

Nantucket.

Every time I go to a wedding, I always pray that this great-looking guy is

going to ask me to dance. It never happens. So this time, I'm bringing some

insurance. Henry Applegate.

Henry from down at Air Freight? Yep.

Okay. Yeah.

Better watch yourself during the fast dances, because if those pencils fly out

of his pocket protector, someone might get hurt.

I don't care. He's the best dancer on the island.

So what about you guys? Are you bringing Dave?

Hey, guys. Hey, Alex.

Give me a second. I'll let you know.

Hey, Alex. Have you thought about going to the wedding with me?

No.

No, you haven't thought about it, or no, you're not going with me?

Yes.

You have thought about it, or yes, you're definitely not going with me?

Let me be perfectly clear.

Under no circumstance will I be going with you to Walter's wedding. No way, no

how. Got it?

Listen, I'll check back with you later on, but I'm going to need a definite

decision on this.

Uh, Lowell, do you think Bunny will come back for the wedding?

Oh, I don't know. I haven't talked to her in quite a while. Who's Bunny?

Oh, it's my ex-wife.

I don't know. You know, I guess she might show up. I mean, she knew Walter.

And again, she knows damn near every able-bodied man on the island.

But I kind of hope she shows.

What, are you thinking of trying to get back together?

Ah, who knows, Helen.

You know, a lot of time has passed.

Maybe she's changed.

Maybe I've changed.

Maybe she's changed.

Roy, you signed the guestbook. It's so big, there's no room for anyone else to

sign.

Makes them think you're important.

Then, when they don't find a gift from you later, they just figure yours isn't

one without the card.

You just assume there will always be one without the card?

No.

Oh, God, there's Bunny.

Where?

She's over by the wall in the pastel floral chiffon tea-length cocktail

dress. They're only kind of glabs.

Oh, you came here hoping to see Bunny. Go over and talk to her.

She goes sitting by herself.

I don't know what to say.

You two were married for six years.

I didn't know what to say then either.

Let's see if this will help. Just for a second. Pretend that I'm Bunny. Now,

whatever you want to say to her, say it to me.

Okay.

Bunny, I miss you, and I love you, and I was hoping that there was some chance

that we could get back together.

And if not, is there any chance that we could get back together for about an

hour?

Godspeed, Lo.

Table three, table three.

I'm Roy Biggins. I'm Roy Biggins. No, I'm Roy Biggins. No, I'm Roy Biggins.

Stop that. Stop that. Hello,

everybody. Hey, Antonio.

Antonio, you look so handsome in your new suit. Well, I figured it was about

the time I'd had my last suit since my confirmation.

Oh, isn't that when you were 13?

Well, yes, Scarpacci men reach full height at that age. From then on, all

growth is just hair.

No, thank you. It cost quite a bit, but the salesman said it was me.

Oh, here's Henry. Hi, Helen. Hello, Faye. Hi, Antonio.

My suit.

Thanks. I got it on sale.

Porca miseria.

Wow, have you seen these women in here?

weddings at hotels.

One-stop shipping.

You got a room?

No, I rented a key.

Oh, my God. Al Weinper, he's here.

Weinper? Oh, it's this guy from down at the Whale Lodge.

I went to one of their meetings a few months back. I thought it'd be good for

business. It turns out it's just a bunch of dull, boring guys that sit around all

day telling dull, boring stories. Bet they waived the initiation for you to

get you in, huh?

Excuse me. Joe!

Joe Hackett! Good to see you!

Al, how did you get over here? We, uh, we've looked for you at our whale

meetings, Joe.

You've been missing out on a lot of excellent fellowship. Yeah, well, Al,

I... Hey, you know how we have our various levels of achievement, you know,

blue whale, gray whale?

Well, last night, Charlie Fletcher and I made humpbacks!

Well, uh, yeah, sure wish I could have been there to see that.

May I have the first dance?

First, last, and all of them in between. That's the planned dance.

Oh, wait a minute. This jacket's kind of binding.

I'll be right back.

Hi, there.

Hi. Hi. You want to dance?

Well, actually, I would love to dance.

All right, let's get busy. Thank you.

I'll be back.

Really?

Have you, uh, missed me?

Missed you?

Oh, no, not really.

I don't think that missing you is, uh... Okay, maybe a little.

Bunny, are you flirting with me?

What makes you say that?

Because I've seen you do it before.

Not with me, of course.

Object of the game.

Find the P.

Fun for you.

More fun for me.

See how easy it is?

Let's play again.

Okay, okay.

But this time let's make it a little more interesting.

to mommy's purse and bring back as many of these as you can find.

Brian.

Brian.

That woman.

By the potatoes.

Yeah?

She is a vision.

She has the sad, dark eyes that bespeak generations of trouble and heartache.

God, she's hot.

what to say to a woman. Antonio, Antonio, you do what I do. You hang on

her every word and never, ever treat her like a sex object.

Unless, of course, your object is sex.

Hope that helps.

So, uh, are you here with anyone?

Are you here with anyone?

Well, of course I am, silly. His name is Phil.

So, where is Phil?

You know, I'd really like to meet Phil.

Oh, thanks, Phil. This is my ex-husband, Lowell. Oh, nice meeting you.

Sorry I didn't catch your name.

Hi. My name's Joe.

I was wondering maybe... There you are, Joe. I thought I'd lost you.

I'm sorry, Alan. Oh, no need to apologize.

See, did I tell you about the whale's pancake breakfast?

It's all you can eat.

And boy, can we eat.

Yeah, well, I guess it wouldn't be well without a little blubber.

Blubber?

Come here.

Really? Really? So you just market the bedpans or do you design them yourself?

Did I mention that Phil drives a Porsche?

Really?

So who are you here with?

Oh, I'm here with, uh, Yvette.

And she drives a...

find her.

Antonio, she'll never know you want her to have your children if you don't go

over and introduce yourself.

Okay. I'll try.

How do I look?

Perfect. Except for that spot of gravy.

It's just a little spot here. The club soda will take care of it in a moment.

It'll come right out.

Hmm. It's not working.

It's not working, Simon.

Uh, my, I probably shouldn't have used a napkin with butter on it.

Henry, don't you ever get tired?

Oh, hey, when the music starts, my body has to move.

But if you want, I guess we could sit one out.

Oh, that'd be nice.

Listen, I'm sorry that we haven't had a chance to dance yet. Unless it's a

merengue.

I didn't catch your name. My name is Henry.

Why don't you just take the jacket off?

Because I don't have shoulder pads in my shirt.

I guess I have no choice.

Antonio, did you get a new tan recently?

Yes, why?

Why is it so important to you?

Ah, Faye, it's no use.

I'm just too nervous to go over to her.

Antonio, either do it or not. I can't hold your hand anymore. For goodness

sakes, I'm not your mother.

You're right.

Troy, just a second.

Consider dancing just the one dance with me.

Come here, funny face.

You thought you were having a good time?

I'm working on it. How about yourself?

Are you kidding me? That wiper hasn't shut his blowhole all night.

Captain, the weirdest thing happened to me.

I was going through the receiving line. I lean over to kiss the bride's mother.

She slips me the tongue.

You too?

What? You're kidding.

She got both of us? Listen, listen, listen. I'm shaking her hand, right? And

I lean in for a polite little kiss.

There it is. The hors d'oeuvre I never ordered.

The bride's mother?

You guys too?

What? She's a handsome woman.

Oh, to tell you the truth, I'm bushed.

Would you mind if we just call it a night?

That'd be fine.

Great, I'll get our coat.

Oh, God.

Oh, say, could you give me a pencil?

Well, I know...

but sometimes I forget and I leave one of those little pencils from the bowling

alley in my hair.

Uh, uh, dear, don't you want to check your makeup?

Okay, not now.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

I didn't have a chance to dance tonight, but, um, my name is Helen Chappell, and

if you're still interested, here's my number.

Gee, thanks.

I, uh, I really gotta get going.

Goodbye. I think I made an impression.

Oh, I'm sure you did.

I hate weddings.

Hi, guys.

Hey, hey, Walter. How does it feel to be married? Great. And I'm sure I did the

right thing, too.

Watching Brian here move from woman to woman all night made me realize I'm

not... cut out for the single life. Heck, when I'm playing with my

grandchildren, you'll still be out there on the prowl.

You are the king.

Make sure you try some of that wedding cake.

It's real fudgy.

You okay?

Hey, I'm the king, right?

Look, man, if you want to talk...

It was good to see you again, Lowell.

You too, Bunny.

Too bad I never got to meet Yvette.

Well, listen, about that, I really can't put this off any longer.

Sorry I took so long, honey.

Honey? Aren't you going to introduce me?

Yeah, Bunny, this is... Yvette.

me over all night. I guess I was a little nervous about meeting his ex

-wife. I like to think of him as all mine.

Well, it was nice to finally meet you.

I guess I'll just be going now.

Bye, little.

Bye, Bonnie.

How did you... I bumped into Faye on my way in.

Thanks, Alex.

Have you seen Brian?

Uh, yeah, actually, he just left.

Oh.

Sure.

So, I thought you weren't coming tonight.

I wasn't going to, but I got tired of sitting at home feeling sorry for

myself.

See, this guy I used to live with...

A guy who said he couldn't make a commitment is getting married today down

in Florida.

I just didn't want to be reminded of that.

Wow. I thought I was having a bad night.

You know, I thought I was going to have a chance to dance with Bunny again.

Well, I do.

I've never danced with anyone but Bunny.

You're doing fine.

Isn't it romantic?

I really love this song.

Just wish I could remember the name of it.