All language subtitles for Knock.Off.1998

Marine Command Post O.C.U.1.
Inspector Chang calling.

Beach cordon
is in place. Over.

OK.

Son of a bitch!

Oh, shoot!

With June 30 only 72 hours away,

Hong Kong and the world are poised for
one of the most historic moments...

Of the closing century:

The return of Hong Kong
to chinese rule after

a century and a half
as a British colony.

With both Prince Charles
and President Jiang Zemin at the podium,

and high-ranking guests
from all over the world in attendance,

there will be an unprecedented level
of security for Tuesday's ceremonies.

Three security zones for land,
sea and air will be patrolled...

♪ I confess that this is
really not my song ♪

♪ I bought it in Hong Kong ♪

- A belly ring. Does that
increase pleasure during sex?
- Not really.

I meant for me. Lance, work with me.
I'm working.

- I'm not loving this.
- Sorry, sir.

- Lans, burn this. - Yes, sir.
- Burn this in front of your parents.
Will you do that?

- We can't wear underwear with these clothes.
- Why not?

- This underwear sucks. I'm not gonna wear it.
- Why not?

They're denim.
The underwear are spandex nylon.

- So.
- They're chemically reactive.

Then don't wear the underwear!
I've always been against underwear.

My record proves that.
Come on, people! Work with me!

You're models! Look bitchy!
Look like you haven't eaten in a week.

♪ Don't fake it ♪
♪ V-SIX jeans ♪

♪ don't fake it
I'm good enough to wear ♪

- I need your support today.
It's a very hard day for me.
- Yes, sir.

- Why can't you be a gentleman
like your partner?
- My partner! Where is Ray?

- Give me the phone!
I need your support.
- Yes, sir.

- Does that mean anything to you?
I gotta get out of the garment business.
- Yes, sir.

Hey, nice wheels, man.

Take it for a spin.
You sure?

- A short spin.
Hey, guys!
- Yeah!

Yo, Bobo!

Marcus. Hey, nice glasses.
Cartier?

- Yeah. You want them?
- I've got boxes.

Greatest knockoff artist
in Hong Kong.

Ah, hard to believe
Marcus Ray gone "regit."

- Legit, legit.
- Yeah.

- Oh, ho, ho, ho. Any good?
- The last ones.

Work good. Fifteen, 20 minutes.
Long enough to make sale.

Good. I wanna go out with my reputation
intact. I always made quality crap.

You know, Ray, you can always come back.
Hey, Choy.

You've got to use designers
who speak english.

What's wrong?
These excellent.

- Right out of picture in catalog.
- I know,

but "Puma," one "m."

only an idiot
would buy these.

One "m," two "m's."
these are hot. Collector item.

This is not your shipment, Marcus.
Get your gwei-lo

hands off the merchandise,
or you'll lose it.

You're in the toy business
now, Skinny?

I thought you were
too big for that.

I can be in any business I want, and no
one can touch me. Not you, not the law.

You wanna know why your legs
didn't just get broken?

I put a big bet on you
in today's race.

Ladies and gentlemen,

your attention, please.

The Hong Kong
merchants' association...

Will begin its seventh annual
charity race in ten minutes.

V-SIX jeans is our name.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Give me some energy, huh?

Come on! Give me the illusion
that you give a crap.

- Come on, people! Pachy. Pachy!
- No, really.

Are you okay?
Can I get you some water?

- Uh-uh.
- You work for me, right? You're an elephant?

- Right.
- Then put your head on and get to work!

I'm not paying you peanuts!
Get going! Get on it!

Marcus, Marcus, he's our man.

If he can't do it,
no one can!

Hey, girls.
I'm late, I'm late.

Where were you?
At 8:00, we had a tax meeting.

At 10:30,
we had a fashion show.

At 11:15, we had a design meeting.
At noon, the copier blew up.

At 1:00 P.M., we had an office meeting
with the entire staff of V-SIX jeans,

saying, "where's Ray?
Where's Ray?"

Good job. Hey, did you get
my running shoes?

I got something even better.
You're gonna love this.

It's Puma, 5000-x, hydroplane sole,
shock absorbent.

Trust me,
it's the bomby-bomb.

It's the shit.
It is shit.

You're kidding, right?

It doesn't matter what you wear
because I'm gonna win.

Eddie.
Hey, chrome dome.

Just back from tokyo, huh?
You son of a bitch.

I'm one step ahead
of an angry husband. Hah!

- Hey, Tommy.
- Hey, Eddie. Nice clothes. Steal 'em?

He doesn't mean it. Hey, I thought you'd
given up. I heard you were running.

I can't let you
spoil my record.

Get ready to weep. I'm gonna kick
your ass again, like last year.

Hey, you won last year
because you cheated.

No, because since you hooked up
with Tommy, you've gotten soft.

Soft?
I'll show you soft.

Who's next?

We got shocks,
we got k3, we got kandu.

I got 100,000 on Eddie Wang. We got
100,000 on V-SIX jeans. Any takers?

Bang-bang!

Hey, he's betting
on both of us again.

He's a two-timer.
See you at the finish line.

- Okay, all right, all right.
- Here, here.

Here, take it.
Take it. Take it all.

If you keep hanging out with them,
we're not gonna be worth crap.

- All we have is our reputation, Ray!
- He's family.

Oh, he's family.
Yeah, the five families.

His brother is the biggest
mobster in Hong Kong.

That's his cousin.

- Just stop being an old lady.
- No! You ruined it.

I don't want to anymore.

Hey, no.

- You worry too much. Look, I'm in condition.
- I don't...

- we'll go on eastern avenue,
then come back on second.
- I don't want to!

It's a straight shot
to the finish line.

We are a lock to win,
my buddy.

Eddie's got the fix in.

Okay?
Okay, no problem.

- Bite me.
- On your marks!

Get set!

Go!

Go! Go!

Go, go! Now go!

No!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Whoo-hoo!

Shit!

Don't panic!
We're a lock to win!

I'm not worried about winning.
I wanna be a lock not to die.

You're not gonna die, okay?

Turn it around!
Turn it around!

The cars.

Go, go, go. Go!

Go, go, go. Go!
Go, go, go. Go!

- You're in shape! You're in shape!
- I'm in shape!

Go, go!
I'm in shape.

He's taking a shortcut.
Turn here! Turn here!

- Here? There's no "here" here.
- Trust me. Turn here!

Turn!
Okay.

What are you waiting for,
you idiot?

Go!

Go, go!

Go!

So are you, baby.
Sorry.

Sorry. Excuse me.

- Go, go! Don't even think about it!
- Sorry.

Go, go, go!

Go, go!
You got it! You got it!

We're winning!
We're winning!

Come on! Move that big,
beautiful ass of yours!

Hey, what you doing?

I'm just... I'm just saying
we're winning, that's all.

- Hey!
- Move it! You gotta want it!

Finish line.
Superfast.

Yah-ha-ha, baby!
Yah-ha-ha!

Hey, how the hell did
he get ahead of us?

Good question.

Those Pumas must be knockoffs. What
kind of scumbag would sell knockoffs?

Goddamn traitor!

Eddie!

Something's not right.

It's not him.

So what?

- Eddie!
- Uh, Ray.

Stop it!
Hey, what are you doing?

- They've got Eddie!
- You've got me!

Drop it!

Eddie! Eddie.

He was cheating again.
Thank god.

Get up!

You're gonna talk, perp!
No, he's not!

Move, move, move!

Police! Don't move!

Now stand up slowly!
No sudden moves!

I got her!

- I got her!
- Tommy!

What did you do?
She's a cop.

She's a cop?

- Yeah, she's a cop.
- You didn't tell me she was a cop.

You saying you were innocent
participants in this rickshaw race...

For which I see
no permit was issued.

- However, a number of questions remain.
- What kind of questions?

All we did was defend ourselves.
We're innocent.

- We're not... we're not criminals.
- That remains to be seen.

We've identified this man,

Ivan Largoff.

Killed at the scene
by detective Ling.

He's formerly a K.G.B. Agent,
russian intelligence.

And since you're so innocent,
why would such a person attack you?

Maybe he wasn't
that intelligent.

Look, we're legitimate businessmen
with an office to run.

An office that employs a lot
of Hong Kong citizens.

And pays those
Hong Kong taxes.

Pay for the police, and that's why
Hong Kong police are everywhere.

Mr. Ray, our records indicate...

That you first entered Hong Kong
as an illegal immigrant.

At one point, you were deported
and came back immediately...

Because of the money
you could make, and

proceeded to build a
large illegal business.

Hey, hey, hey.
We all make mistakes, huh?

- Apparently.
- Did you know the racer who
was killed by the russians...

was a small-time gambler
and worked for your friend, Eddie Wang?

Eddie Wang?
Doesn't ring a bell to me.

I suppose you don't
know him either, Mr. Hendricks.

No bells here,

but I do have a little ringing
in my ears from the accident, though.

Sir, their stress levels are up.
They're lying.

But what a surprise.

Your self-defense story
checks out... for now, that is.

You're released
on your own recognizance.

Don't leave the jurisdiction, gentlemen.
This investigation isn't over. And...

we know where you live.

Speaking personally,
once we fold that union jack,

I don't care
what they do with you.

Mr. Hendricks, Mr. Ray,
you may go.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Hey, we're a lock to win. You don't
weigh much. Good call. Good job.

- It's shit.
- Oh.

Uh-uh, wait a minute. Sit down.
I have a few more questions.

Besides trashing
your company's reputation,

you mind telling me
what you're doing here?

I'm sorry. Who are you?
Are you, like, the Hong Kong Five-O?

- Is there a parking ticket we need to take care of?
- Karen lee.

Executive V.P.
international sales, V-SIX jeans.

Oh.

I realize this may be very
difficult for you, gentlemen,

but please try to think.

What are those?
Um, V-SIX, 606, size eight.

Your size.

- I'm a six, thank you.
- Ah.

Mr. Hendricks, the masseuse is here
for your regular appointment.

Yeah, uh, cancel her
for the rest of the week.

Make it the rest
of the month.

Obviously neither one of you is used to
pulling your own weight in this company.

But please,
let's give it a try. Pull.

- I meant together.
- Oh. Oh.

Pull.

That's enough.

Now try these.

Gentlemen, in light
of our company motto and mascot,

- how do you explain this?
- Uh, well, I've been working out,

and you, uh, naturally...

okay, they're knockoffs.
Exactly.

Cheap eight-ounce denim instead of the
14-ounce used in authentic V-SIX jeans.

What? They are knockoff artists
in Hong Kong?

I'm shocked. Okay, you see, Hong Kong
is like knockoff central.

They knock off everything
from Benetton to Fila to knockoff Puma.

Yeah, and the pope's catholic.
So what?

This pair came from the last shipment
you sent to the states.

In fact, half the entire
shipment was counterfeit.

- No, no, no, that's impossible.
- That's fact.

Inspector's report. Check it against
your own shipping manifest.

She's right.

- She looks good when she's right, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

And if half the entire shipment
was eight-ounce instead of 14,

at wholesale, that means
V-SIX jeans is out...

- $4,200,000.
- Oh, that's bullshit!

Aha!

You didn't convert
from Hong Kong dollars to U.S. Dollars.

The real figure is
$5,400,000.

Uh, this calculator has...
excuse us, please.

Bangkok won't ship the yardage
in 30 days because of the handover.

Okay. Swap the destination with
the origin in the computer.

When it gets here,
tell customs we made a mistake.

Then return it
to our factory here, okay?

Uh, mel, don't you have
something for me to sign?

I sign things too...
in private.

Oh, things like
that falsified document.

Uh, no, no, no, no, no.
Ray signs all the false documents.

Oh, I agree, and I think you two
have spent your time in Hong Kong...

Getting drunk, chasing ass,
and getting massages...

Instead of taking care
of company business.

Look, the massage
industry in Hong Kong is

going through a really
tough time right now.

I'm just trying to help out
the local college girls.

I don't know and I don't
care whether you two

pathetic excuses for
business partners...

Are mixed up in this knockoff bullshit
as instigators or just dupes.

I swear, we're just dupes.
Either way, we'll see tonight.

That's when the customs
police is raiding

the factory these bogus
jeans came from.

They'll need you to identify
the merchandise.

Some local named Eddie Wang
signed the lease.

Eddie Wang?
Doesn't sound familiar.

Ray?

- I'll pick you up at 6:30 tonight.
- No, wait a minute.

Ray got his ass kicked
last night.

Ray hasn't slept in 24 hours.

Ray can't go
on some wild goose chase.

Don't worry. If ray's mixed up
in this knockoff bullshit,

Ray's gonna get plenty of rest
in prison, and so will you.

Prison?

Yes, prison, gentlemen.
You see,

counterfeiting happens
to be a federal crime.

Whether it's clothing or whether
it's money, it doesn't matter.

If you're not available
tonight, I can only

assume that you intend
to flee my jurisdiction.

In which case,
trust and believe,

I will take
appropriate action.

Like I said, 6:30.
Be there.

She looks good
when she's mean, hmm?

Where's Eddie, big guy?

Where's your boss, huh?

Light you a cigar?

Of course not, you're dead.

Idiot comrade Volkov
killed you.

We've had enough
of your screwups, Volkov.

You're always high on something.
Now we give you tough love.

Cure you, cold turkey.

Ah, trevyev,
your passports are ready.

Didn't your mothers teach you
not to make a mess?

You turned this place
into a shithole.

You want transportation
out of Hong Kong?

And you want to get paid?

Ooh.

Our V-SIX friends are headed
toward the factory.

I'd suggest you cowboys get over
there before they do and clean up.

You're worried about
miss V-SIX, size six.

I'm worried about those guys
at the market chasing Eddie.

Why?

Why?
Uh, okay.

'Cause he's a scumbag,

and he's probably got himself
mixed up in some chinese "ting."

You mean "tong."
"ting" is a beverage.

I thought it was "tang."
That's another beverage.

And by the way, Eddie's no
scumbag, okay? He's my family.

"Eddie's no scumbag.
He's family."

Hey, easy on my shirt, big fella.
That's $1,000 hawaiian.

Oh, that's now... Jesus!

Oh, my... goddamn it!
You did that on purpose!

- Look, I'm a scumbag, huh?
- I never said you were a scumbag.

But you thought about it.

Friend.

Oh, great. Now he's a mind reader.
Stupid asshole.

I should kill him
in front of his parents.

Thanks.

Chief's upset with you
about this.

You made a spectacle
of yourself.

You know what he's like.
He wanted to keep a low profile.

Thanks.

Tommy?

Stay out of it!
Stay out of what?

- Get your ass back in there,
or you're in big trouble.
- I am already.

Hey, hold on.

- You're supposed to report to us,
but we never hear from you.
- I'm busy.

You don't want me to tip off Ray, do
you? You've got years of training.

You can't handle a street punk
like Marcus Ray?

It's a local named Eddie Wang.
He's running a knockoff factory.

He obviously made the wrong kind of
enemies, and I got caught in the middle.

Look, I gotta get
back down there.

Well, Eddie Wang, we may have to send him
away. That's something we can arrange.

Jesus!

You think I can't smell cops?

It all fits now!
You make me a partner...

While the executives
from the states looking for knockoffs.

You're setting me up!
It's not what it looks like!

You're using me to get to Eddie.
Huh?

Who are you working for?
Tell me!

What are you doing?

What?

What are you doing?

Who the hell are you?

If they go over, I'm the last man you're
gonna see on planet earth.

Harry!

- Game's over, Harry! We gotta tell him!
- Tell him.

We work for the government!
We're C.I.A.!

Harry's my boss!

Now pull us up, Ray.

Pull us up, Ray.

Jesus.

You look confused, Mr. Ray.
It's simple really.

Because my boy Hendricks here needed a
cover, so we really had to use you.

You were a little dirty,
but we couldn't be picky. Understand?

You understand
what I'm saying?

Don't you understand
what you do affects me?

You want to destroy
our business?

Is that what you want, huh?

Whoever you are, you were
supposed to make me legit.

You lied to me!

It was a need-to-know basis,
and you didn't need to know!

There is not one
legitimate businessman in

all of Hong Kong that
would work with you!

Not one, Ray.
I did.

I've been carrying you
for four years.

You're the king of knockoffs.

I was,
but you're still a fake.

Now that is a problem.
That is a problem.

Why?

There's this woman executive
from V-SIX jeans.

She's from the states.
Somebody's counterfeiting our jeans,

and she thinks
we're involved.

- We're supposed to raid a factory tonight.
- What?

Shit! What the hell is the
matter with you, asshole?

You're in trouble.

Nice building.

- Thank you.
- Too nice on your salaries.

- What?
- Check into "sublet,

manager's residences,"
if convicted.

No, no, it's just the lobby that's nice.
The rooms are very small.

- Let me help...
- Help you.
- Thank you.

May I?

Here's the lease on the factory we're
raiding. Eddie Wang signed it.

That still doesn't prove
he's a knockoff artist.

Why are you defending a gangster?
It looks like he's screwing us.

Oh, no. With Eddie,
it's more like date rape.

Would you explain to my partner,
there are three people on this bench,

not just his biceps.

Hey, look,
I hear you like 007.

Just the ones
with Sean Connery.

I hope we find something.
We will.

Last week, we busted
a whole warehouse...

Where they were making
knockoff Apple Babies.

Apple Babies?

- Oh, I love those.
- Me too.

I buy them
for my niece, Ashley, all the time.

- You know, it's really starting
to become a full-time job.
- Really?

This is vanilla creme.
She's the hardest to find.

She's yours. I gotta tell you, though,
she's a phony.

It seems like
they're everywhere.

Sir, everything is prepared.

Good.
The men are in position.

Once everything's secure, we gotta get these
V-SIX people to identify the merchandise.

- Yes, sir.
- Marcus Ray.

Parents were doctors,
died in Indochina.

Adopted, age ten.

And a series of meaningless jobs until
you hooked up with Tommy.

- That's supposed to be me?
- I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry.

I'm sorry that after tonight,
Eddie'll probably be arrested.

What are we waitin' on?

Every night at the same time,
they get a food delivery.

When the door opens,
we go in.

Szechwan or cantonese?
It's Mom's Pizza!

Hello? Who's there?
It's Mom's Pizza.

Come on! Let's go!

Don't let him go!
Stop him!

Freakin' hell!

Come on!

- Nice toy.
- It's not a toy, so don't play with it.

Here's your wallet,
and I accept your apology.

No, no, no, no.
I'm not saying I'm sorry.

Okay, okay,
the apology's over.

Happy?

Happy.
I'm sorry.

Me too.

Let's go see
your boss, Tommy.

These guys have something
against escalators?

What's with the sign?

We're entering the Buddha.

Hey, what's the cover charge?

- I'm gonna have to search...
- It's all right.
- I cleared it with the boss.

- I know. We still have to search him.
- I said I cleared it.

Step back.
Sorry, man.

You wanna tell me
what it is you want?

It's okay.
A trade.

I'll bring you Eddie Wang
if you'll take him out of Hong Kong.

What are you, a comedian? Do you think
Eddie Wang is worth all of that?

- All right.
- You gotta show me some more.

It's okay.

It's the Green Flame Project,
1989.

The soviets were years from completing
it. They must've finished it.

See that battery your friend
is carrying around out there?

That's not a battery. That's a
state-of-the-art explosive device...

Equal to a half a stick
of dynamite.

If he knew it was a nanobomb, he wouldn't
be carrying it around like a cough drop.

Once they've achieved that level
of miniaturization, Harry,

- They could target anywhere they want.
- They're already there.

They have a remote-control
detonation device, probably microwave.

They're gonna put these bombs
into clock radios,

stereos, microwaves,

cel phones,
even children's toys.

And once this stuff
gets shipped,

a lot of innocent people gonna
be in a lot of grave danger.

What about Eddie?
What do you want me to do about Eddie?

Bring Eddie in.
You tell him I'll protect him.

He might know something.

Thanks, man.
So, you're a spy, huh?

I was an intelligence analyst.
Anything I heard of?

- Wait, wait, wait!
- From Eddie.

- Heard of the gulf war?

- What the hell is that?
- It's a message from Eddie.
I know where he is.

Where the hell are we?

It's a Fruit Market.

Johansson would love this place.
I hope he keeps his word.

Shouldn't we be leaving
a trail of bread crumbs or something?

He said he still can.

My mother always loved
that record.

You're listening to melodrama
for some reason? Huh?

Bam!

I found the record in papa's things.
You can take it.

We raided a factory
last night, Eddie.

- Why?
- You were knocking off our jeans.

Come on, Ray.
You're more than adopted. You're family.

Be a buddy, and Tommy's my bud.
Right, Tommy?

- Ah, ah.
- Buddies like to play, right?

Those jeans are the tip of the iceberg.
Do you know what you did?

Who set you up?
Huh? Tell me.

Look, you won't like it.
It was Skinny.

When he brought these russians to me,
it seemed like a sweet deal.

- Skinny?
- Yes!

I provide them with knockoff toys,
toasters, whatever.

They do some modifications.
I ship them.

This is obviously between you
two, so if you can aim at him...

when I found out
what they really were,

I shipped them right to
the bottom of the sea!

They were nanobombs!

- You know?
- Tommy's C.I.A.

The little dweeb is C.I.A.?
Good cover. Good.

I don't know how much longer.
Ray keeps telling everyone. Right, Ray?

Eddie, I made a deal for you.

They're going to help you go
somewhere safe.

I promise.

That's what Skinny told me...
that he'd help.

But I'm gonna help myself. I've got
something for you in the safe. Hold on.

This is the biggest
thing to hit Hong Kong

since typhoon hattie.
Better than money!

Watch him. Come on. I was gonna
sell it to the highest bidder:

The french, germans
or beijing.

But family is family.

Eddie!
Damn it!

Ray.

We gotta run.

- Don't you know the way out of here?
- I have no idea!

Ow. Oh.

Don't they have bananas here?

Ow! God,
I hate this fruit!

Shit!

Fuck!

It's me.
A V.C.R.?

Surveillance tape. Anyone who's been in
and out of this place is on it.

Move!

Stop playing around.
Come on.

Let's go.

Hula, hula, hula, hula.

Hula, hula, hula, hula.

I'm gonna find a place
around here to collapse.

- Great. Wait for me in the office.
- All right.

- Let's get rid of this shit.
We're running out of time.
- Okay.

Hey, Skinny!

- You better run, Skinny! They're coming after you!
- Hamaa!

Gwei-lo! You're a dead man!
You killed Eddie!

The russians did it.
The people you got Eddie involved with.

You're a lousy liar, Marcus.

I didn't get Eddie involved
with any russians.

- Then who was he hiding from?
- Who knows?

You were with him
when he was executed.

- Executed?
- Executed.

Why?

Why did you say "executed"?

- You're gonna tell me everything.
- Go to hell, Ray.

Stop, Ray, stop!

Oh, God.

- You're not really gonna do this?
- Oh, yeah.

You bet on both sides.
Right, Skinny?

You bastard.
Tell me!

That was a Hong Kong love song,

and we hope to put President Jiang Zemin
and Prince Charles...

In a cuddly mood
for tonight's handover ceremony.

We'll have the news in
five with an update on

the explosion at the
Kowloon Fruit Market.

But first, here's another
romantic song.

This time,
from the U.S. Of A.

Ah!

What happened to you?

- Some explosion.
- At the Fruit Market? The one on the news?

- Yeah. Easy, easy.
- Look at you.

You're bleeding. We gotta get you
to a hospital.

- No. No hospitals.
- We have to get you to a hospital.

Look at this. There's blood.
Ouch!

Shit.

- We need to get cleaned up.
- Yeah.

You know, sometimes you're in such shock,
you don't realize you've been hurt.

- Yeah. Yeah, thank you. Thank you.
- So.

- Easy, easy, easy.
- What were you doing in a place like that anyway?

- You know, Ray has some contacts.
- What kind of contacts?

A friend, a buddy.

He blew up, but you know,
shit happens.

Easy.

- Oh.
- Got it?

Eddie knew
about the bombs, huh?

That's why you
killed him, huh?

I don't know what you're talking about.
Eddie was like a brother to me.

Yeah,
like a Menendez brother.

If I'm right, this tape will prove
you booby-trapped Eddie's safe.

You piece of shit.
You killed him.

Hey, don't go anywhere, okay?

We're gonna have a movie night,
make some popcorn, watch this.

You sit, be comfortable.
We'll be back.

Hold on.
Let me find it.

Wait a minute.
Stop it there.

Son of a bitch.
Who is that?

Karen, V-SIX exec.
I don't believe this.

Hendricks is in danger. You gotta go
after him. He's walking into a trap.

I'll go talk to Skinny.

Hot, hot.

Knockoffs.
Jesus.

You and Marcus have been acting really
strange lately. Sure you told me everything?

- We were trying to decide what
we were gonna have for dinner.
- Mm-hmm.

And I said,
"how about Szechwan?"

And, uh,
let the machine get that.

And he said, "how about cantonese?"
and we already had cantonese.

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah, well,

I was trying to decide
what wine we should order.

Oh, I like this.

I'm into this.

Oh, ho-ho-ho.

Back when you got that
fake identity from the C.I.A.

We're gonna play a little game,
Hendricks. It's called "20 questions."

Question number one:
If that's even your real name,

are you working alone,
or are there more of you?

Hey. Hey.

Tommy, she saw Eddie
before we did.

She's a bigger
knockoff than us.

Watch your step, Ray!

- Are you sure?
- She was on the tape.

I was never into threesomes.

I got her. I got her.
Right there. Right there.

What do we do with her?

We take her in to see
the chief right now.

- Johansson's dead!
- What?

The russians killed him,
and Skinny too.

You better talk now, bitch, or I'll
blow your head off. Talk! Right now!

Look into my pants.

Go ahead. Come on.
You were pretty eager five minutes ago,

you little shit!

Just do it.

In the back!

C.I.A.?

Bullshit.
It's a fake, Tommy.

- Just like her.
- No, it's real. Check it.

It's good.

I'm sorry for what I said
in the other room,

but those handcuffs were really biting
into my wrists, you know?

I should've blown your head off
and set you up.

Yeah?
Why the jeans act?

Langley suspected there was
a mole in Hendricks' division.

I'm here to find out
who it is.

I have an emergency contact, but
there's no way I can trust the guy.

No! There's a special security unit attached
to the american V.I.P.S. for a handover.

I think they can help us.

The american delegation is led
by Vice President Al Gore...

Who is a champion of trade
with Hong Kong.

Vice President Gore is also
expected to meet...

With the commercial attaches
of the incoming administration.

You can't go like that.
You've gotta change.

- Formal or casual?
- Let's go!

I'll bring the van.
I'll bring the van around.

Back to news of the handover.

The Prince of Wales is coming
down the britannia now.

The last time a British royal
will visit a British Hong Kong.

He will be taking a short walk to H.M.S.
Tamar, the British Naval Base,

which will be handed over to their counterparts
of the People's Republic of China...

In a few hours' time.

Prince Charles
will be attending...

over 300 groups from all walks of life
and all corners of Hong Kong...

will take part
in the two-hour ceremony.

Holy fucking shit.
The pockets of our jeans.

The V-SIX logo.
The V-SIX logo.

Shipping.

Shipping.

Boom.

Meanwhile, at government house,
another historic moment...

With the last British Governor,
Chris Patten, in attendance.

The British flag is being
lowered for the last time.

After Eddie dumped
the knockoffs in the sea,

the russians
switched to our jeans.

Oh, so they're into fashion now,
and your business is booming.

You know where you're going?

The computer says they're shipping
the jeans tonight.

- You're never gonna get away with this.
- Shut up!

- They're already getting away with it.
- I know.

I'm trying
to mind-fuck them.

On the placement test
at langley,

I was off the chart
on verbal skills.

Could I die alone, please?

Lucky for some,
it's the handover tonight.

There's only one way
out of Hong Kong by sea.

Oh, yeah? If we hurry up,
we can intercept them.

And by the way,
do you know how to swim?

Electronics are amazing, huh?
Three months old, already it's obsolete.

Best part of microchips,
you get mega bucks.

Small as a cel phone,

but this little kukla,
it can do the job.

Boom.

We already told everybody:
The F.B.I., the mossad,

- Shut up!
- Surete, Barnaby Jones.

Now you will eat these, turn green in a
flash. It's better than a diet pill.

Two of these, you lose
your appetite completely.

In fact, you will lose you
completely.

Or maybe you will drink this.

Wanna drink this, baby?

Let's talk about this. I wanna talk.
I got some information.

- No, you don't wanna do that.
- You like it?

You want more?
I give you more.

I open your mouth.
I open it wide open this time.

Way to go, Harry!
Nice shot!

Hey, you even left a few alive to
interrogate. Now come on untie me!

Harry!
Come on, man!

Congratulations.

You're giving the cigar
to the wrong guy, Harry.

You didn't keep them alive
for interrogation.

You just eliminated a partner
you didn't need anymore.

Just like you did
with Skinny.

Washington thought it might be someone in
our organization, but never you, Johansson.

After 20 years, why?

Entrepreneurship, babycakes.

Now once we have our little baby bombs
all over the U.S.,

There's gonna be a monthly satellite bill
that would make H.B.O. green with envy.

$100 billion a month.

And if they don't pay, we send the detonation
signal, and Good-Bye, Yellow Brick Road.

"Good-Bye, Yellow Brick Road"? You better
buy some new cd's, Harry, it's pathetic.

Shoot 'em.

Whoa!

What the hell was that?
Go find out!

Toss it!

Good! Yes!

Sir. A mobile unit has picked up
a signal.

There's an
unauthorized intrusion.

Sir.

- Any change?
- No, ma'am. Still incoming.

Footprint
of cargo vessel, sir.

No friend or foe beacon.

She already passed the first line
of buoys. There goes the second.

The next line's a deadline.
That's exactly what it means.

Attention all air units.

Attention all air units.

This is guardian.
Proceed to shipping warning lane...

And intercept
approaching vessel.

- Use whatever force is necessary.
- Roger.

Attention cargo vessel.

- Attention cargo vessel.
- Pouncer!

Report in.
What's going on?

Guardian, we have visual. The vessel is
under power but seems to be drifting.

Approaching final deadline.
E.T.A., one minute.

Pouncer,

that vessel must not...
repeat, must not...

cross that deadline.

If it does, execute with extreme
prejudice. Do you copy?

We copy, guardian.
Extreme prejudice. Over.

You heard him, boys.
Activate and arm weapon systems.

Weapon systems are active.
Activating now.

Attention, cargo vessel.

Attention, cargo vessel.

This is a restricted area. If you do not
change course, we will fire on you.

Do you read?
Cargo vessel, do you read?

Attention, cargo vessel.
This is a restricted area.

If you do not change course,
we will fire on you.

Attention, barge 28. You will be
over the deadline in ten seconds.

- You must change course or we will open fire.
- Locked on target.

Fire on my command.
Steady.

- Steady. Five,
- Come on.

Four, three, two...

guardian, she's stopping.

Vessel has stopped six meters from the
deadline. They appear to be turning back.

Sir, weapons are still hot.

Deactivate weapon system. Please
confirm. Deactivate weapon system.

Orders confirmed.
Return to base and await further orders.

Roger, wing commander.
Returning to base.

Whew!
That was a close one.

Come on.
Come on!

Come on. Come on.

Move your asses up to the tower.
You hear me? Go.

Damn it!

We are under heavy fire.
We should move now, sir.

See if it's clear.

Go!

Oh!

Oh, shoot.
It's gonna blow!

Come on! Let's go!
It's gonna blow!

Come on, let's go! Start the engine!
Hurry up!

We're all gonna die.
I'm doing my best!

Come on. Got it.
We got it.

Come on! Come on!

Over here!

Are you okay?

- You all right?
- Yeah.

- What happened?
- I smoked his fat ass like a roman candle.

Look.
This is his detonator.

What are you looking for?

Johansson.

Victoria Harbor lights up...

With the first fireworks starting just a
few hours before the official handover,

kicking off a two-day
fireworks extravaganza...

Where over $100 million
will literally go up in smoke.

The use of fireworks, traditionally
a symbol of celebration,

is particularly meaningful
in these two nights...

When the world watches as Hong Kong puts on
its biggest ever fireworks to welcome...

they found explosives
in our jeans.

That's not good. People don't
want explosives in their jeans.

Hey, some people do,
you know?

Check this out.

Are you crazy?
That's evidence.

I've been doing
some research, Ray.

The average american home
has 3.57 remote controls.

What if you had one that did everything?
I'm not just talking the V.C.R., the TV.

I'm talking the jacuzzi,
sprinkler system.

The police estimate that there
are over one million people...

On both sides
of the harbor tonight.

- You-you-you turn that thing,
and the-the garage opens up.
- Oh, yeah?

It-it opens.

Sometime just before
12:00 midnight,

each and everyone in the royal
Hong Kong police force...

Must find
the time and place...

forget it. We don't know anything about
electronics. Let's stick to what we know.

The following
is a special report.

A loud explosion was witnessed
in the Kowloon area this evening,

shortly after
the fireworks began.

Spectators noted green flames
from the explosion.

Authorities will not confirm whether the
explosion was part of the fireworks show.

- Earlier this evening, a similar
explosion with green flames...
- What do you know?

Massage parlors,
gambling, booze.

- Yeah.
- That's not bad.

If I had a lot of money...
a lot of money...

I'd start my own
football league.

- Yeah?
- Yeah. Only women players.

- Why?
- And I'd be the only guy.

Fantastic. No action movie would be
complete without sweat.

♪ I confess that this is
really not my song ♪

♪ I bought it in Hong Kong ♪

♪ it's a knockoff ♪

♪ I confess that this is
really not my voice ♪

♪ although I had a choice
it's a knockoff ♪

♪ so close ♪

♪ to real ♪

♪ the look ♪

♪ the feel ♪

♪ so close ♪

♪ and yet ♪

♪ the paint's ♪

♪ still wet ♪

♪ you keep thinkin' that
you're really holdin' hands ♪

♪ sorry, that's no hand ♪

♪ it's a knockoff ♪

♪ just my luck that I would
look into your eyes ♪

♪ then I realized
they were knockoffs ♪

♪ so close ♪

♪ to real ♪

♪ the look, the feel ♪

♪ so close ♪

♪ and yet ♪

♪ the paint's ♪

♪ still wet ♪

♪ so close ♪

♪ to real ♪

♪ the look ♪

♪ the feel ♪

♪ so close ♪

♪ and yet ♪

♪ the paint's ♪

♪ still wet ♪

♪ I can guess that though
you really wear it well ♪

♪ once you wear it well ♪

♪ it's a knockoff ♪

♪ I'm the renoir
you see hangin' on the wall ♪

♪ bought it at the mall
it's a knockoff ♪

♪ so close ♪

♪ to real ♪

♪ the look ♪

♪ the feel ♪

♪ so close ♪

♪ and yet ♪

♪ the paint's ♪

♪ still wet ♪

♪ it's a knockoff ♪

♪ it's a knockoff ♪

♪ it's a knockoff ♪

♪ it's a knockoff ♪

♪ it's a knockoff ♪

♪ it's a knockoff ♪