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1
00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:05,403
[Cheerful music]
2
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,902
Rebecca: Love is so great,
3
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,974
that it's almost unreal.
4
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,374
I feel bad for the people who
can't find it.
5
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,682
We've all met those types who
try to convince their co-workers
6
00:00:46,683 --> 00:00:48,580
that they're fine without it.
7
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,818
And then you take a look at
their cubicles
8
00:00:50,819 --> 00:00:52,478
and see heart-shaped frames all
over their desks
9
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:56,086
with pictures of their
three-legged cat named Bob.
10
00:00:57,091 --> 00:01:00,226
Not me. Not anymore.
11
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,127
I've paid my dues.
12
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:08,197
Old people always say, "when you
meet the one, you'll know."
13
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,202
Well, they're right.
14
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,203
I mean when I met Richard,
15
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:14,565
it felt like the
butterflies in my belly
16
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:18,505
dusted off the cobwebs and
started fluttering again.
17
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,780
He was the one.
18
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:24,182
My only one.
19
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,502
Oh my God!
20
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,667
Oh, my God!
21
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,281
Oh, my God!
22
00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:53,978
Oh, my God!
23
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:57,221
Oh, my God!
24
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,320
Oh, my God!
25
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:04,192
Oh, my God!
26
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,857
[Crying]
27
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,295
No! No! I don't get it.
28
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,606
Hey, wait!
29
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,167
Are you guys hiring?
30
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,335
Because no one cares
about love anymore.
31
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,513
So why not just have sex and get
paid for it, you know?
32
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,114
Oh, come on!
33
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:31,475
Who cares if my vagina falls off
from all the diseases out there?
34
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,515
I'll take some open sores.
35
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:38,086
Yoo-hoo! You want some of this?
36
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:42,359
Come on! I got what it takes.
37
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:45,203
No? Okay.
38
00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,309
Oh, my God!
39
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:03,716
I cannot get laid tonight out of
my head!
40
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:08,847
Richard! Richard and his
little...
41
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:12,192
Wait. What's her name?
42
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:16,129
Oh, yeah. Whore.
43
00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:17,560
Hey, baby. I'm home.
44
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:22,065
They paid me 200 bucks to take a
picture of a pink poodle.
45
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,439
[Arf]
46
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:29,412
Richard! Is this Mu-shu still
good?
47
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,308
[Moaning]
48
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,149
Hey baby.
49
00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:43,385
Because we got it Tuesday?
50
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,820
And there's pork in it?
51
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:47,885
I'm gonna...
52
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,425
Go.
53
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:10,376
You're late.
54
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:13,052
I've been waiting. Sit down.
55
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:17,293
Come on, sit down. Give
me your hands.
56
00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:22,293
You are such a lost soul.
57
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,356
You're in pain. Someone hurt
you.
58
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:28,795
Someone ripped your heart out and
tried to play badminton with it.
59
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,470
This man who hurt you...
60
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:31,571
He's a dark spirit.
61
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,472
I see blackness all around him.
62
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,374
But wait!
63
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:37,410
What?
64
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,946
I see a white pony. He stands
alone.
65
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,777
His spirit is very bright.
66
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,083
He runs toward you, and... And...
67
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,146
And?
68
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:50,456
Oh! You turn away! I
hate that part.
69
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,557
Why did I turn away?
70
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:53,428
Because you have to learn the
lessons
71
00:04:53,429 --> 00:04:55,587
before you can ride the white
pony.
72
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:59,796
White pony? Can't he be a white
stallion or something?
73
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:04,400
No, it's the white pony that you
will ride into the sunset.
74
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:07,405
Only then can you have the happy
ending you desire.
75
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:10,076
But first, you have to believe.
76
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,777
And you have to learn the
lessons that come before.
77
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,348
Lessons? What kind of lessons?
78
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,616
Your own spirit.
79
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:20,286
Not that bright yet. It needs
its roots done.
80
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:21,417
But you're close.
81
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:25,291
First, though, you must go
through more pain
82
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:29,362
before your heart can
find true happiness.
83
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:31,831
Well, that just sucks.
84
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,270
Well, it only gets worse.
85
00:05:33,271 --> 00:05:34,327
You gotta be kidding me.
86
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,765
What, do I look like a comedian?
87
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,339
If you don't pay attention,
88
00:05:37,340 --> 00:05:40,038
if you don't listen to your
inner psychic voice,
89
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,279
if you choose the wrong paths
and the wrong situations,
90
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:45,537
if you think you can just do it
all on your own-
91
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:46,376
what?
92
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,610
If you ignore the signs...
93
00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,484
Love will never find its way
into your heart.
94
00:05:49,485 --> 00:05:56,989
You'll live a lonely, desperate,
isolated, miserable existence.
95
00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:00,390
I would not want to be you.
96
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,536
[Telephone ringing]
97
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,379
Who is it?
98
00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:25,484
Hi, Carrie, it's Rebecca.
99
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:28,446
What time is it?
100
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,389
10:00 am.
101
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:33,989
Why?
102
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:37,434
I never realized how beautiful
it is in the morning.
103
00:06:37,435 --> 00:06:38,531
Birds chirping.
104
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:41,102
The smell of ass on Hollywood
boulevard.
105
00:06:41,103 --> 00:06:43,770
Hey! You want to start jogging?
106
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:44,901
No kidding, let's jog.
107
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,505
Are you on crack, Rebecca?
108
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,607
I am not jogging.
109
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:49,569
Please.
110
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:52,036
Have you seen my boobs lately?
111
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,275
Yeah. They're pretty.
112
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,610
Of course they are, and you know
why?
113
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,546
Because I don't fucking jog!
114
00:06:57,551 --> 00:07:02,088
Besides, I have my "animal kingdom"
audition in a couple of hours.
115
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,519
Want to go shopping?
116
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,425
Okay.
117
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,528
Wow!
118
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,729
He's a Jerk, 'Bec.
119
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:14,367
A cock-sucking loser jerk.
120
00:07:14,368 --> 00:07:15,428
Oh, my God.
121
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:16,736
Every time something like this
happens,
122
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:19,437
it makes me seriously want to
consider lesbianism.
123
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,540
You can't even stand looking at
your own vagina.
124
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:24,742
That's not true. I just had to figure
out which department did what.
125
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:30,145
Hey! Maybe you can concentrate
more on your work now.
126
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,621
I have been concentrating.
127
00:07:33,622 --> 00:07:35,920
It just takes awhile to
go from sandwich ads
128
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:38,623
and dog shows to
vanity fair covers.
129
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,455
It doesn't just happen
overnight.
130
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:42,461
Oh! Oh, no!
131
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:43,263
What?
132
00:07:43,264 --> 00:07:44,963
I left my camera, my lenses,
133
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,595
my tripod, my gels, everything.
134
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,500
I left my future at Richard's.
135
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,743
Oh, no.
136
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:58,478
No. No way. I am not going over
to his house.
137
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,609
Well, I'm not going to his
house.
138
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,914
Michelle.
139
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,476
Oh, hell no!
140
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,916
For real?
141
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:10,756
Whew, girl.
142
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,587
You know I'll get
your stuff, girl.
143
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:14,694
Um-hmm.
144
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:17,755
Nah, nah, nah, I ain't gonna
beat his ass.
145
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,633
I can't speak for John, though.
146
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:24,404
That shit would be funny, right?
147
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,135
[Screaming]
148
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:28,539
I got to go.
149
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:34,412
What the hell are you doing?
150
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,682
Hot bacon.
151
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,118
Three o'clock.
152
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:42,019
That's not bacon. That's
porterhouse.
153
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,522
Oh, no. He's wearing sneakers.
154
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,626
You can have him.
155
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,458
Fuck that.
156
00:08:49,463 --> 00:08:51,497
I'm not going near that world.
157
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:52,628
It's gong to be a very long time
158
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,702
before Rebecca goes searching
for another dick.
159
00:08:54,703 --> 00:08:57,470
The best medicine is to get back
out there.
160
00:08:57,471 --> 00:09:00,571
There's nothing wrong with a
little gratuitous sex
161
00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:01,574
to help mend the pain.
162
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,375
Remember the last time we were
all single?
163
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:05,978
We had sex with everyone.
164
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:09,248
Carrie, Brad Pitt's throbbing
cock couldn't help me right now.
165
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:13,219
Nothing in the world could
heal this pain that I'm going-
166
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,520
what?
167
00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:17,161
Do you remember how jealous
Richard would get
168
00:09:17,162 --> 00:09:19,487
when any guy would go near me?
169
00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:21,093
Hey, baby.
170
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:22,729
What?
171
00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:24,597
Can I help you?
172
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,098
Richard! No!
173
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,700
What the hell do you think
you're doing?
174
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,037
Pap smear.
175
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:34,006
Yeah. He would go Apeshit.
176
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,737
Exactly.
177
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,112
So I show up at Richard's fashion
show tonight with another guy
178
00:09:38,113 --> 00:09:39,949
he sees me mauling him and his
insides
179
00:09:39,950 --> 00:09:42,547
will get eaten up almost as bad
as mine did.
180
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,879
It's the best revenge. Revenge.
181
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:45,745
How do I look?
182
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,086
Like a summer flower
183
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:50,957
that got rained on and stung by
a bee.
184
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:54,425
Go, go, go.
185
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,796
♪ Fire it up ♪
186
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:59,027
♪ Let's go party down ♪
187
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,632
♪ Light it up ♪
188
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,934
♪ Let's go party down ♪
189
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:06,706
♪ Light it up ♪ let's go party
down ♪
190
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:11,707
♪ Fire it up ♪ let's go party ♪
191
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,446
♪ Fire it up ♪
192
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,707
♪ Let's go party down ♪
193
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:20,216
♪ Light it up ♪
194
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:21,654
Hi.
195
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:22,915
Hi.
196
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,893
I was just sitting over there
with my friend
197
00:10:24,894 --> 00:10:28,661
and thought you were kind of
staring at...
198
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:29,562
Me?
199
00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:33,003
Yeah. I was staring at you.
200
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,767
What are you doing for lunch?
201
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:36,969
Nothing.
202
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:40,810
Nothing. Do you like Chinese?
203
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,638
Huh? Chinese food.
204
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:46,853
Chicken Chow Mein and Mu-shu
pork. You know.
205
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,884
Mu-shu.
206
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,824
If you don't like Chinese, we
could always just...
207
00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:57,289
No. No. What are you doing
tonight?
208
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,659
You want to go to this fashion
show with me?
209
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,360
Sweetheart, do you have
your gold card?
210
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,698
I seem to have left
mine at home.
211
00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:07,199
Who's this?
212
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,517
I don't know.
213
00:11:09,518 --> 00:11:11,838
It's just some bimbo
hitting on me.
214
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,863
Come on, bitch! Hurry
up. Let's go.
215
00:11:31,864 --> 00:11:36,058
It's not like I do this for a
living, you know.
216
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,366
Oh, shit!
217
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,797
What?
218
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:48,005
I can't even believe you fell
for that shit.
219
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:49,708
Very funny, Michelle.
220
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,717
See how it's done?
221
00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,718
That's what I was gonna do.
222
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:10,329
Look at him, thinking he look
all good and shit.
223
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:13,730
This is exactly why I don't date
models.
224
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:17,770
I don't see what she saw in the
guy.
225
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,501
Well, it's all over now.
226
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:23,676
We can all kiss Richard's stank
ass goodbye.
227
00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:26,077
Now get her shit and let's go.
228
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,779
I gotta call my baby daddy.
229
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:44,862
Holy shit!
230
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,876
What the hell are you doing?
231
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,579
What's up, dog?
232
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,254
What?
233
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:41,921
You got a problem?
234
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:46,522
You want to... you want to dance
here?
235
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,786
You want to take this outside?
236
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:52,156
Huh? What's up?
237
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,095
Just get the hell out of here.
238
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,837
You screwed up, man.
239
00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:01,868
You had a rose but you had to go
and pluck a weed.
240
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,535
Then to make things even worse,
241
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,013
you go and fuck up all her
camera equipment.
242
00:14:06,014 --> 00:14:09,181
What kind of sick
bastard are you?
243
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:12,651
That was her whole life,
you asshole!
244
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,252
She sucked at it, anyway.
245
00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:33,539
You and me, buddy.
246
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:37,310
You and me!
247
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,906
When?
248
00:14:44,818 --> 00:14:46,578
Some day.
249
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,289
Some day.
250
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,160
Michelle: What up, dick?
251
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,729
Just a little water.
252
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:59,598
That ain't mud on your bed.
253
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:02,299
So let's go.
254
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:09,608
I'm getting non-stop excitement!
255
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:12,439
If you start coming with me,
256
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,545
I told you you'd have better
luck here.
257
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:18,547
It can't be that hard to find
one normal guy in this town
258
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,251
just to use for one night.
259
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,591
It's not hard at all.
260
00:15:21,592 --> 00:15:23,118
They're begging to get used.
261
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,093
That last guy was a fluke.
262
00:15:24,094 --> 00:15:25,920
Who the fuck would ask someone
out
263
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,056
with their wife shopping two
feet away?
264
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,461
I don't get it, Carrie.
265
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,962
I mean, I gave my heart to
Richard.
266
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,565
What made him feel the need to
have another woman?
267
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:37,536
Well, that's easy. Penis
insecurity.
268
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,767
When the penis doesn't get
enough showmanship,
269
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:43,242
it has to remind itself that
it's still an almighty tool
270
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:44,743
and that it could make
any woman moan.
271
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,954
Not one that got used to
it like yours,
272
00:15:46,955 --> 00:15:49,147
but one from uncharted waters.
273
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,249
Carrie winters?
274
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:53,080
Right here, honey. Wish me luck.
275
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:55,116
Good luck.
276
00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:11,170
♪ Love is never equal ♪
277
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:15,007
♪ I learned that early at home ♪
278
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:18,438
♪ Someone always loves more ♪
279
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:21,145
♪ Than the other ♪
280
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,880
How you doing?
281
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,019
I'm Mike.
282
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,188
Hi.
283
00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:38,029
You're so gonna get this part.
284
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:41,000
Oh. I'm not an actress?
285
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,168
What?
286
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,169
You're so hot.
287
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:48,107
Like smoking hot.
288
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:52,538
You're like hot air popcorn
popper hot.
289
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,275
Thank you.
290
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:56,879
Like hotter than exhaust hot.
291
00:16:56,883 --> 00:17:01,053
Hotter than the devil's
pitchfork hot.
292
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,689
What's that smell?
293
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:14,034
I don't smell anything.
294
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,198
It's totally doing something to
me.
295
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:20,813
What is that?
296
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:29,079
It's coming from you.
297
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:33,152
What is that beautiful scent
you've got on?
298
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,093
Deodorant?
299
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:41,232
To me it smells like...
Obsession.
300
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,126
Hey, baby.
301
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:50,895
You!
302
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,341
You smell so hot.
303
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:58,842
So hold on to your seats,
everyone.
304
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,875
Because we're gonna bring you
heart-stopping,
305
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:06,751
claw-biting, family action fun!
306
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,217
That was just-
307
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,351
great. Wonderful.
308
00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:12,116
Really?
309
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,855
Right on!
310
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:16,090
How long have you been in the
business?
311
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:19,356
Longer than you can scream
arggh!
312
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:23,465
Oh! You're a feisty little one.
313
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:27,270
Hey, are you guys single by any
chance?
314
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,576
As a matter of fact, we both
are.
315
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:34,177
Really? I'll be right back.
316
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:37,624
Rebecca! Come on in here. They
want to meet you.
317
00:18:37,625 --> 00:18:39,317
No. No. I don't want to.
318
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:43,289
Just get your ass in here! Hurry
up!
319
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,058
Now!
320
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:52,158
Rebecca, I'd like you to meet
our dates for tonight.
321
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:08,710
Why? Why? Why? Why?
322
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,283
Excuse me.
323
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,845
The least you could do is thank
me.
324
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,922
For what?
325
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,157
We have dates.
326
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,418
Yeah. With two guys that are one
chromosome away
327
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:21,626
from being Woody Allen.
328
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:25,158
Woody is hot and you know it.
329
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,125
Remember in "white men can't
jump"
330
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,833
when they were playing
basketball,
331
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:32,935
and he took off his shirt and he
looked all golden like the sunset,
332
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,269
rising up to-
333
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,814
what are you talking about? I
said Woody Allen.
334
00:19:35,815 --> 00:19:38,277
Oh. Who's he?
335
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,628
Listen to me, Chrissy snow,
336
00:19:40,629 --> 00:19:42,979
if Richard gets one good look at
this mug I'm with,
337
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,352
he'll piss in his pants.
338
00:19:44,353 --> 00:19:47,286
No jealousy, my friend. Just
laughter.
339
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:50,787
I figured it out for you, Janet
woods.
340
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,290
When Richard comes down that
catwalk,
341
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,363
I'm gonna shout out to him.
342
00:19:54,364 --> 00:19:55,690
When he looks down you grab Milo
343
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,295
and you put his head between
your breasts.
344
00:19:57,297 --> 00:20:01,497
He won't see that mug, just a man
nestled in your large bosoms.
345
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:02,968
Not bad.
346
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,899
I'm going, okay? Damn!
347
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,338
Sorry.
348
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,139
I don't understand why we gotta
be running this shit.
349
00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:09,641
Because 'bec left a note that
said
350
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:12,542
"save me, it's an emergency,
love, Annie hall."
351
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,405
This shit never be starting on
time.
352
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:19,318
Hold on. You have to wait. It's
way too crowded in there.
353
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:20,849
Wait for someone to come out.
354
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,222
Oh, hell nah. Do you know
who I am?
355
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,593
Huh?
356
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:32,403
Oh, no. The small-time crooks are
looking more like Cheech and Chong.
357
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,334
Hi.
358
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:38,235
Wow. Look at the beautiful
Shiksas.
359
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,768
Two beautiful Shiksas.
360
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,607
So how was I today?
361
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:42,908
You were great.
362
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,209
Will you be my Bubbela?
363
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:46,341
[Belches]
364
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,176
Sorry.
365
00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:53,846
You know, I could do wonders for
you, baby.
366
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,287
Uh-huh.
367
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:56,348
Is that so?
368
00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:59,216
Yeah. That is so.
369
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:00,625
That's right.
370
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:04,957
I'm gonna make you cry like a
little baby right now.
371
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:05,864
Uh-huh.
372
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:08,425
Let me get all up in that chest.
373
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,434
Uh-huh.
374
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,196
Yeah, baby.
375
00:21:12,205 --> 00:21:13,095
Ow!
376
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,506
Um-hmm.
377
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:20,606
Hiya! Who thinks you're cute?
378
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:21,383
I do.
379
00:21:21,384 --> 00:21:23,281
Wanna take me home?
380
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:24,316
No.
381
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,717
Is it 'cause I'm too tall?
382
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:28,387
I've got a ladder with your name
on it.
383
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:29,418
No.
384
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:31,056
Is it because you think I'm
ugly?
385
00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:31,717
No.
386
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:32,664
Because you're gay?
387
00:21:32,665 --> 00:21:34,559
No. Oh. Impotent?
388
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:35,890
No.
389
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:36,885
Is it that you just don't
understand the vagina?
390
00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:39,956
No. I'd be happy to draw a
chart.
391
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:55,080
Carrie, you should pay
attention, all right?
392
00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:57,381
'Cause he's gonna come down any
minute.
393
00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:09,425
[Electronic rock plays]
394
00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:25,936
Hey, Richard!
395
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,470
Oh, my God!
396
00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:53,538
Oh, my God!
397
00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:56,408
Oh, my God!
398
00:22:56,409 --> 00:22:58,209
Why do these things keep
happening to me?
399
00:22:58,211 --> 00:23:04,316
A handsome one who has his dick
go in the wrong fucking hole!
400
00:23:04,317 --> 00:23:07,387
It's not fair!
401
00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:13,392
I'm the one who's humiliated all
the time!
402
00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:15,060
It's not fair!
403
00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:16,161
Girl!
404
00:23:16,162 --> 00:23:16,862
The humiliation, throwing up in
my face.
405
00:23:16,863 --> 00:23:18,163
What, 'Chelle? Girl!
406
00:23:18,164 --> 00:23:19,431
Are you crazy?
407
00:23:19,432 --> 00:23:22,472
Your big old tittie's hanging
out.
408
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:29,570
Fuck it!
409
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:33,975
They're just fucking globs of
fat!
410
00:23:34,447 --> 00:23:37,147
That girl crazy.
411
00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:42,590
[Crying]
412
00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:55,829
You know, you're wasting water.
413
00:23:58,805 --> 00:24:00,965
But we really have to get out of
here,
414
00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:02,411
because there's this giant woman
415
00:24:02,412 --> 00:24:05,108
that's gonna come chasing after
me any second from now.
416
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:07,011
I'm serious.
417
00:24:07,380 --> 00:24:10,880
Do you want to go get some ice
cream?
418
00:24:24,730 --> 00:24:27,566
Tell me I don't smell like puke
anymore.
419
00:24:27,567 --> 00:24:30,567
You don't smell like puke
anymore.
420
00:24:30,570 --> 00:24:34,540
You're a bad liar.
421
00:24:35,408 --> 00:24:36,668
What can I get you two?
422
00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:40,306
I'll have the "I just got
dumped" sundae.
423
00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:42,653
I don't think that's on the
menu, dear.
424
00:24:42,654 --> 00:24:46,618
Then make me the best sundae you
could possibly imagine
425
00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:49,788
that would take away every
painful experience
426
00:24:49,789 --> 00:24:53,489
that any man ever did you wrong.
427
00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:57,194
You know what I think?
428
00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:59,526
What do you think, John?
429
00:24:59,532 --> 00:25:01,972
I think everything happens for a
reason.
430
00:25:01,973 --> 00:25:06,168
Oh, God. Please don't give me
any of that spiritual crap.
431
00:25:06,172 --> 00:25:07,772
I heard it from a psychic this
morning.
432
00:25:07,773 --> 00:25:10,673
The best I'm ever gonna find is
a white pony.
433
00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:12,206
And to tell you the truth,
434
00:25:12,211 --> 00:25:13,941
I'd settle for a brown donkey.
435
00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:16,606
You know what, 'bec, maybe
that's your problem.
436
00:25:16,616 --> 00:25:20,716
You just keep on settling for
these idiots.
437
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,320
I have known you for so long,
438
00:25:22,321 --> 00:25:26,721
and every single day, you teach
me how to be a better person.
439
00:25:26,726 --> 00:25:28,526
But for whatever reason,
440
00:25:28,528 --> 00:25:32,798
you will not let someone love you
the way you deserve to be loved.
441
00:25:34,567 --> 00:25:37,937
And how should I be loved, John?
442
00:25:44,677 --> 00:25:46,737
Thank you.
443
00:25:47,079 --> 00:25:51,619
I just have to go to the back.
Be right back.
444
00:25:53,853 --> 00:25:55,253
God, you're such an idiot!
445
00:25:55,254 --> 00:25:57,694
You just gotta fucking say it,
John.
446
00:25:57,695 --> 00:25:59,690
Say the fucking words!
447
00:25:59,692 --> 00:26:03,061
Say it out loud. Okay?
448
00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:07,766
Rebecca, you should be loved
like no one else in this world.
449
00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:12,197
You should smile every day knowing
that every morsel of your being
450
00:26:12,204 --> 00:26:16,174
is being nourished by a man that
will do anything he can
451
00:26:16,175 --> 00:26:17,705
to make Rebecca happy.
452
00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:21,279
Me, Rebecca. I love you.
453
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:23,748
The way you should be loved
454
00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:27,749
is to be loved by me.
455
00:26:29,956 --> 00:26:33,116
See that? There you go.
456
00:26:35,394 --> 00:26:36,594
That's good.
457
00:26:36,596 --> 00:26:39,526
That was beautiful.
458
00:26:40,032 --> 00:26:41,702
Thanks.
459
00:26:42,268 --> 00:26:43,968
All right.
460
00:26:48,975 --> 00:26:51,805
Rebecca, there's something I
gotta tell you.
461
00:26:51,811 --> 00:26:55,811
Listen, if you tell me that you're
dying of a terminal illness,
462
00:26:55,815 --> 00:26:58,615
I swear to God I'm gonna kill
myself.
463
00:26:58,618 --> 00:27:00,318
I'm not dying.
464
00:27:00,319 --> 00:27:02,689
Oh, thank God.
465
00:27:04,657 --> 00:27:07,287
Well, what is it?
466
00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:11,497
Richard destroyed all your
camera equipment.
467
00:27:14,634 --> 00:27:16,001
What?
468
00:27:16,002 --> 00:27:17,332
When I went to your place to
pick up all your stuff,
469
00:27:17,336 --> 00:27:23,806
your equipment was in the corner
and he just... he ruined it.
470
00:27:29,849 --> 00:27:31,679
I'm sorry.
471
00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:35,653
What am I gonna do?
472
00:27:35,655 --> 00:27:37,115
I'm not gonna be able to work.
473
00:27:37,123 --> 00:27:39,323
I can't afford to buy new
equipment.
474
00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:40,755
It'll be fine.
475
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,290
I'll pawn one of my guitars-
476
00:27:43,295 --> 00:27:45,425
no. No, John.
477
00:27:45,431 --> 00:27:47,001
You've been collecting those
things
478
00:27:47,002 --> 00:27:50,569
since Keanu Reeves started his
first band.
479
00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:53,000
Just forget it. It's useless.
480
00:27:53,005 --> 00:27:56,365
I have no future. I have no
future.
481
00:27:56,375 --> 00:28:01,505
No, Rebecca. What if your future's
sitting right next to you, huh?
482
00:28:01,514 --> 00:28:04,716
Maybe the person sitting right
next to you
483
00:28:04,717 --> 00:28:07,147
wants to spend their entire life
making Rebecca happy.
484
00:28:07,153 --> 00:28:10,191
You know, stop drowning yourself
in this dark pit
485
00:28:10,192 --> 00:28:12,059
and pick yourself up and realize
486
00:28:12,060 --> 00:28:17,058
that the person sitting next to you
might just be your entire existence.
487
00:28:17,063 --> 00:28:20,863
Please take a chance for once.
488
00:28:22,868 --> 00:28:24,328
Excuse me.
489
00:28:24,336 --> 00:28:26,066
Yes?
490
00:28:26,071 --> 00:28:27,811
Are you, by chance, my future?
491
00:28:28,174 --> 00:28:31,714
Yes, I believe I am.
492
00:28:31,877 --> 00:28:34,877
What do you think? Should I go
for it?
493
00:28:36,849 --> 00:28:39,249
All right. Wish me luck.
494
00:28:39,652 --> 00:28:40,652
What's your name?
495
00:28:40,653 --> 00:28:41,986
Rebecca. I'm Jake.
496
00:28:41,987 --> 00:28:43,647
Hi, Jake.
497
00:28:50,329 --> 00:28:56,169
Can I have one "I'm a complete
dumb-ass pussy" sundae, please?
498
00:28:59,271 --> 00:29:02,571
[Disco music plays]
499
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:22,088
Are you sure this is ecstasy?
500
00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:24,429
Oh, yeah. Without a doubt.
501
00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:27,599
It's even mildly laced with
acid.
502
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,370
Huh?
503
00:29:38,744 --> 00:29:40,314
Shush!
504
00:29:45,484 --> 00:29:48,894
You like to experiment sexually?
505
00:29:51,557 --> 00:29:53,287
What do you mean?
506
00:29:53,292 --> 00:29:56,828
You know, try new things.
507
00:29:56,829 --> 00:30:01,466
Um... Not really.
508
00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:06,867
Good. I can't wait to get you.
509
00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,180
Shush.
510
00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:34,930
Now count to thirty and come
into the bedroom.
511
00:30:34,934 --> 00:30:37,174
Okay.
512
00:30:43,676 --> 00:30:44,836
If this is my future,
513
00:30:44,844 --> 00:30:47,184
I pray a large piano falls out
of the sky
514
00:30:47,185 --> 00:30:49,949
and hits me right now.
515
00:30:54,787 --> 00:30:58,387
Why can't drug hallucinations be
real?
516
00:30:59,725 --> 00:31:01,885
The shit's starting to kick.
517
00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:43,230
What the hell, Rebecca?
518
00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:45,795
Let's have some fun.
519
00:31:51,744 --> 00:31:54,679
Time to go fishing, baby.
520
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,110
Touch my bass, Rebecca.
521
00:31:57,116 --> 00:32:03,916
Touch my bass!
522
00:32:04,223 --> 00:32:07,463
Touch my fucking bass!
523
00:32:16,936 --> 00:32:18,536
Michelle: She look dead.
524
00:32:18,537 --> 00:32:20,067
Carrie: She's not dead.
525
00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:21,472
How do you know?
526
00:32:21,473 --> 00:32:23,073
'Cause she'd be blue.
527
00:32:23,075 --> 00:32:25,805
Hey, girl.
528
00:32:25,811 --> 00:32:28,211
You still with us?
529
00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:33,980
Whew! She smells like fish!
530
00:32:33,986 --> 00:32:35,796
Oh, my God!
531
00:32:35,804 --> 00:32:37,624
Did you sleep with Charlie the
tuna last night,
532
00:32:37,625 --> 00:32:39,791
or do you need to douche?
533
00:32:39,792 --> 00:32:43,661
Just leave me alone.
534
00:32:43,662 --> 00:32:47,432
Take your time. Don't nobody
want to smell that.
535
00:32:47,433 --> 00:32:50,003
Um-um.
536
00:32:51,837 --> 00:32:52,767
[Bell rings]
537
00:32:52,771 --> 00:32:54,271
[Birds chirping]
538
00:32:54,273 --> 00:32:55,340
[Beeping]
539
00:32:55,341 --> 00:32:57,976
Rebecca, I got you some food.
540
00:32:57,977 --> 00:33:00,377
Huh?
541
00:33:20,532 --> 00:33:21,472
[Bell rings]
542
00:33:21,473 --> 00:33:22,597
[Birds chirping]
543
00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:25,571
[Beeping]
544
00:33:43,022 --> 00:33:46,822
What in the hell are you doing?
545
00:33:46,825 --> 00:33:49,025
I knew that shit wake you up,
girl.
546
00:33:49,028 --> 00:33:51,058
You been sleeping for three
days.
547
00:33:51,063 --> 00:33:53,631
I was not sleeping.
548
00:33:53,632 --> 00:33:55,532
I was thinking.
549
00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:58,569
Yeah. Well, you might think
better
550
00:33:58,570 --> 00:34:00,570
when you don't smell like a dead
fish.
551
00:34:00,572 --> 00:34:07,542
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
552
00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:12,950
Don't ever say that word again.
553
00:34:13,852 --> 00:34:15,252
Okay.
554
00:34:15,254 --> 00:34:19,390
Well, I'm gonna go cook some
frozen food.
555
00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:21,859
I can make you a fish stick.
556
00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:23,090
Rebecca: Shut up!
557
00:34:23,095 --> 00:34:24,585
Oh, shit.
558
00:34:24,596 --> 00:34:25,496
What now?
559
00:34:25,497 --> 00:34:27,197
Aunt Flo came early this month.
560
00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:30,199
Well, girl, at least you ain't
pregnant and shit.
561
00:34:30,202 --> 00:34:32,772
Know what I'm saying?
562
00:34:33,072 --> 00:34:36,240
Would you help her with a baby?
563
00:34:36,241 --> 00:34:38,176
I don't know. Would you?
564
00:34:38,177 --> 00:34:39,707
Babies are sticky.
565
00:34:39,711 --> 00:34:42,280
Well, at least she could get
some food stamps or something.
566
00:34:42,281 --> 00:34:46,281
Yeah, 'cause Richard would've
done nothing to help the baby.
567
00:34:46,285 --> 00:34:47,845
Rebecca: Will you guys shut up?
568
00:34:47,853 --> 00:34:50,623
You mean to tell me with the two
of you living here
569
00:34:50,624 --> 00:34:53,122
you don't have one tampon in the
house?
570
00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:55,025
No. We're out.
571
00:34:55,027 --> 00:34:57,227
Well, can you go buy me some?
572
00:34:57,229 --> 00:34:58,696
I ain't got no money.
573
00:34:58,697 --> 00:35:00,697
Just forget it.
574
00:35:17,816 --> 00:35:20,146
What do you mean, I have herpes?
575
00:35:20,152 --> 00:35:21,422
That's not possible.
576
00:35:21,423 --> 00:35:25,820
I've only slept with one guy in
my entire life.
577
00:35:25,824 --> 00:35:27,594
People like me don't get
diseases.
578
00:35:27,595 --> 00:35:29,563
People like you get herpes all
the time.
579
00:35:29,564 --> 00:35:33,501
It's the naive ones who think it
can't happen to them.
580
00:35:36,735 --> 00:35:38,965
But doctor...
581
00:35:39,571 --> 00:35:43,341
God, I can't live in this state
of pain.
582
00:35:43,342 --> 00:35:45,842
[Sobbing]
583
00:35:45,844 --> 00:35:47,678
You won't have to.
584
00:35:47,679 --> 00:35:49,279
It's called "herpes away."
585
00:35:49,281 --> 00:35:52,121
It's a creamy little ointment
without any deadly side effects.
586
00:35:52,122 --> 00:35:55,186
"Take once a day to avoid
outbreaks."
587
00:35:55,187 --> 00:35:56,447
This is amazing.
588
00:35:56,455 --> 00:35:59,955
I can't wait to tell my friends
all about it.
589
00:35:59,958 --> 00:36:01,858
Just stop.
590
00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:03,427
What's wrong?
591
00:36:03,428 --> 00:36:05,158
I'm not believing a word you're
saying.
592
00:36:05,164 --> 00:36:06,764
Well, duh, that's 'cause I'm
acting.
593
00:36:06,765 --> 00:36:09,095
I mean, I see quite a few things
on your resume.
594
00:36:09,101 --> 00:36:11,871
And I think, how could anybody
have ever hired you?
595
00:36:11,872 --> 00:36:14,970
And then it dawns on me, I bet
every time you did get hired,
596
00:36:14,973 --> 00:36:16,273
it was always by a man.
597
00:36:16,275 --> 00:36:18,205
You need to pay your
dues in acting.
598
00:36:18,210 --> 00:36:19,377
Not with men.
599
00:36:19,378 --> 00:36:22,346
You don't know what you're
talking about.
600
00:36:22,347 --> 00:36:26,377
I hope one day you do know what
I'm talking about.
601
00:36:26,385 --> 00:36:28,115
Yeah?
602
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,320
Well, I hate to rain on your
parade, lady.
603
00:36:31,323 --> 00:36:34,963
But this shit doesn't work.
604
00:36:38,897 --> 00:36:40,297
Store announcer: What's for
dinner?
605
00:36:40,299 --> 00:36:43,199
We've got a special on ground
Chuck today, ladies.
606
00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:46,402
You can't go wrong with meat.
607
00:36:52,978 --> 00:36:55,108
Oh, shit.
608
00:37:00,919 --> 00:37:03,989
Oh, no.
609
00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:16,503
Oh, no!
610
00:37:19,037 --> 00:37:20,567
Shit!
611
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:32,283
Hello? Hello, please hurry up.
612
00:37:32,284 --> 00:37:33,421
It's an emergency.
613
00:37:33,422 --> 00:37:35,118
This is an emergency, too,
sweetheart.
614
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,190
[Loud flatulence]
615
00:37:54,039 --> 00:37:58,809
Store announcer: Irv, we need a
clean-up on aisle two.
616
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:05,320
Store announcer: Irv, we need a
clean-up on aisle two.
617
00:38:08,553 --> 00:38:11,553
Oh, help, I've fallen.
618
00:38:11,556 --> 00:38:15,326
Oh! Oh, and I'm bleeding.
619
00:38:15,327 --> 00:38:17,357
Oh, no!
620
00:38:41,586 --> 00:38:45,816
Store announcer: Irv, we need a
clean-up in produce.
621
00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:49,225
Oh, shit!
622
00:38:51,330 --> 00:38:54,360
Store announcer: Irv, we need a
clean-up in produce.
623
00:38:54,366 --> 00:38:58,866
No. Thanks, Irv, I've got it
covered.
624
00:39:10,048 --> 00:39:12,348
When they were in the bag, they
were $1.99.
625
00:39:12,351 --> 00:39:15,021
Well, I can't ring them up
unless they're in the bag.
626
00:39:15,022 --> 00:39:17,890
There is no bag. This is all
that's left, okay?
627
00:39:17,891 --> 00:39:19,219
I already told you.
628
00:39:19,224 --> 00:39:21,324
If they're not in the bag, I
can't ring them up.
629
00:39:21,326 --> 00:39:22,356
Listen, sweetheart,
630
00:39:22,361 --> 00:39:23,391
we're both girls, okay?
631
00:39:23,395 --> 00:39:25,125
Just give me a break.
632
00:39:25,130 --> 00:39:27,360
The longer I stand here, the more
IRV's gonna have to clean up.
633
00:39:27,366 --> 00:39:30,396
That seems to be your problem,
not mine.
634
00:39:30,402 --> 00:39:31,702
No. Please-
635
00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:33,641
Irv, could we get a price check,
please,
636
00:39:33,642 --> 00:39:35,408
on the super-size maxi pads
637
00:39:35,409 --> 00:39:39,277
for the woman who keeps bleeding
all over the store.
638
00:39:50,355 --> 00:39:51,885
Stop her!
639
00:39:52,391 --> 00:39:53,491
Wait! Wait!
640
00:39:53,492 --> 00:39:55,492
I'll knock you out! I'll knock
you out!
641
00:39:55,494 --> 00:39:58,264
You don't run no more! Don't run
no more!
642
00:39:58,265 --> 00:40:00,133
I'll knock you out!
643
00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:10,840
I'll get you, lady.
644
00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:24,718
Hey, 'bec.
645
00:40:24,723 --> 00:40:25,593
Hi.
646
00:40:25,594 --> 00:40:27,020
How's it going? Okay.
647
00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:28,255
What have you there?
648
00:40:28,260 --> 00:40:29,660
Nothing.
649
00:40:52,717 --> 00:40:55,617
So when are you gonna see him
again?
650
00:40:55,620 --> 00:40:56,650
Tonight.
651
00:40:56,655 --> 00:40:57,985
He's taking me to the contra
grill.
652
00:40:57,989 --> 00:41:00,619
You're so lucky to be dating a
model.
653
00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:02,055
He's not just a model.
654
00:41:02,060 --> 00:41:04,490
H's fucking Richard Huntington.
655
00:41:04,496 --> 00:41:05,656
Top model.
656
00:41:05,664 --> 00:41:07,964
He just landed three Richeau
Commercials.
657
00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:09,396
That's huge!
658
00:41:09,401 --> 00:41:11,471
Maybe I'll catch a drink with
you guys after dinner.
659
00:41:11,472 --> 00:41:13,300
You can't. Why not?
660
00:41:13,305 --> 00:41:15,965
After dinner I'm gonna fuck the
shit out of him.
661
00:41:15,974 --> 00:41:17,514
You're so lucky. I know.
662
00:41:17,515 --> 00:41:22,409
Do you think maybe you could hook
me up with one of his friends?
663
00:41:22,414 --> 00:41:24,514
No.
664
00:41:32,123 --> 00:41:34,792
You a cyclist or just play for
the other team?
665
00:41:34,793 --> 00:41:37,593
Why? 'Cause I'm waxing my legs?
666
00:41:37,596 --> 00:41:39,696
I get real, real nosy sometime.
667
00:41:39,698 --> 00:41:42,266
I like to know everything, you
know?
668
00:41:42,267 --> 00:41:45,367
What you need to do is wax that
ass.
669
00:41:45,370 --> 00:41:46,939
I'm actually a magician.
670
00:41:46,940 --> 00:41:49,707
I'm doing an underwater trick on
the tonight show next week,
671
00:41:49,708 --> 00:41:51,938
and I can't have any hair on my
legs.
672
00:41:51,943 --> 00:41:54,278
That's cool. That's real dope.
673
00:41:54,279 --> 00:41:55,139
Where you from?
674
00:41:55,146 --> 00:41:58,946
I flew in from Chicago,
actually.
675
00:41:59,351 --> 00:42:02,651
Hey! What you doing tonight?
676
00:42:02,654 --> 00:42:05,561
'Cause I would love to hook you
up with my girl.
677
00:42:05,562 --> 00:42:07,017
You know what I'm saying?
678
00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:08,185
Uh-huh.
679
00:42:08,193 --> 00:42:09,733
She been through a lot of shit.
You know?
680
00:42:09,734 --> 00:42:13,158
Take her out to dinner, make her
feel real good.
681
00:42:13,164 --> 00:42:14,564
That could be fun.
682
00:42:14,566 --> 00:42:15,626
That would be real nice.
683
00:42:15,634 --> 00:42:17,834
She need to get out real, real
bad.
684
00:42:17,836 --> 00:42:20,496
She done been through some shit.
685
00:42:20,505 --> 00:42:22,405
Ow!
686
00:42:24,743 --> 00:42:26,643
Well, she sounds great.
687
00:42:26,645 --> 00:42:28,575
Oh, no, no, no, I didn't mean
for it to sound like that.
688
00:42:28,580 --> 00:42:30,910
You know, she a super-cool
Barbie doll
689
00:42:30,916 --> 00:42:32,416
that just got dumped by Ken.
690
00:42:32,417 --> 00:42:35,747
But she cool, she a good girl,
you know what I'm saying?
691
00:42:35,754 --> 00:42:39,390
Is there some place, you know,
cool,
692
00:42:39,391 --> 00:42:41,661
that you recommend that I could
take her?
693
00:42:41,662 --> 00:42:43,690
Uh...
694
00:42:43,695 --> 00:42:45,495
Ah!
695
00:42:45,497 --> 00:42:47,697
You know, I was thinking maybe you
could take her to the contra grill.
696
00:42:47,699 --> 00:42:51,629
Around 8:00. Don't be late
'cause I'll beat your ass.
697
00:42:53,738 --> 00:42:54,698
Anything else?
698
00:42:54,706 --> 00:42:56,666
Pay me forty bucks for the wax.
699
00:42:56,675 --> 00:42:59,575
And twenty bucks 'cause I look
good.
700
00:42:59,578 --> 00:43:04,408
Oh. Oh, here you go.
701
00:43:04,416 --> 00:43:06,676
Keep the change.
702
00:43:06,685 --> 00:43:08,885
Yo, this only a dollar.
703
00:43:08,887 --> 00:43:11,487
Oh. Yeah.
704
00:43:11,756 --> 00:43:13,586
Look again.
705
00:43:14,726 --> 00:43:19,356
Hey! Whew, baby! That's my boy!
706
00:43:19,364 --> 00:43:20,764
It's magic.
707
00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:24,065
Rebecca: "You will experience
the tingling sensation
708
00:43:24,069 --> 00:43:26,469
"as the fatty acids and fruit
enzymes
709
00:43:26,471 --> 00:43:29,711
replenish the nutrients in your
skin."
710
00:43:31,810 --> 00:43:34,610
Hi. How are you?
711
00:43:34,613 --> 00:43:37,081
Tom, is it?
712
00:43:37,082 --> 00:43:38,248
I'm Rebecca.
713
00:43:38,249 --> 00:43:40,618
So you're a magician, huh?
714
00:43:40,619 --> 00:43:41,749
That's cool.
715
00:43:41,753 --> 00:43:45,153
This? Oh it's syphilis.
716
00:43:45,156 --> 00:43:47,256
I caught it in prison.
717
00:43:47,258 --> 00:43:50,528
Hey, where are you going?
718
00:43:53,131 --> 00:43:56,731
"Remove with one smooth motion."
719
00:43:59,904 --> 00:44:01,744
Ow!
720
00:44:09,814 --> 00:44:11,884
Oh, my God!
721
00:44:13,685 --> 00:44:17,645
One, two, three!
722
00:44:18,089 --> 00:44:21,289
Oh, for crying out loud,
Rebecca.
723
00:44:21,292 --> 00:44:23,627
Revenge is not the solution.
724
00:44:23,628 --> 00:44:25,328
I'll be fine.
725
00:44:25,330 --> 00:44:26,797
I think.
726
00:44:26,798 --> 00:44:29,098
And now, you have lost your
fiance.
727
00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:31,800
You're not gonna have kids till
you're fifty!
728
00:44:31,803 --> 00:44:33,871
Mom, we were never engaged.
729
00:44:33,872 --> 00:44:35,272
That is just great to hear.
730
00:44:35,273 --> 00:44:38,776
You have been living with this
man for two years.
731
00:44:38,777 --> 00:44:39,877
Mom, I-
732
00:44:39,878 --> 00:44:41,378
you need to find a good catholic
boy.
733
00:44:41,379 --> 00:44:44,348
What about that nice fella that
works for you?
734
00:44:44,349 --> 00:44:45,679
Who, John?
735
00:44:45,684 --> 00:44:49,053
See? He's even named after one
of the disciples.
736
00:44:49,054 --> 00:44:51,054
Mom, I am so not his type.
737
00:44:51,056 --> 00:44:53,016
So what are you gonna do with
your life now?
738
00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:56,160
Shoot up some heroin and become
a sex slave.
739
00:44:56,161 --> 00:44:58,729
Oh, for Pete's sakes!
740
00:44:58,730 --> 00:45:00,060
Ma, did you hear that?
741
00:45:00,065 --> 00:45:01,755
Hear what?
742
00:45:02,901 --> 00:45:05,031
Oh, mercy!
743
00:45:05,904 --> 00:45:08,338
[Flatulence]
744
00:45:08,339 --> 00:45:09,869
Ha!
745
00:45:13,011 --> 00:45:16,081
Come on. Come on.
746
00:45:19,584 --> 00:45:22,219
Okay. Okay.
747
00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:25,820
Okay. Okay.
748
00:45:25,824 --> 00:45:28,258
Okay, now I gotta zip.
749
00:45:28,259 --> 00:45:31,389
Okay. Here we go.
750
00:45:32,864 --> 00:45:34,464
Fuck!
751
00:45:35,934 --> 00:45:39,670
Come on, please. Okay.
752
00:45:39,671 --> 00:45:43,107
Just one more thing.
753
00:45:43,108 --> 00:45:44,868
Just let me button them.
754
00:45:44,876 --> 00:45:46,536
I swear to God I'll be good.
755
00:45:46,544 --> 00:45:49,379
Okay? Here we go, God.
756
00:45:49,380 --> 00:45:52,820
One, two, three!
757
00:45:54,018 --> 00:45:56,787
Okay. Oh, fuck!
758
00:45:56,788 --> 00:45:58,858
Fuck!
759
00:46:03,528 --> 00:46:05,288
Fuck you.
760
00:46:11,069 --> 00:46:13,199
Puff the magic dragon's in the
house.
761
00:46:13,204 --> 00:46:14,774
You think you could magically
make my ass smaller?
762
00:46:14,775 --> 00:46:18,043
Carrie didn't tell me that her
jeans were size negative 4.
763
00:46:18,044 --> 00:46:19,442
They're baggy on me.
764
00:46:19,444 --> 00:46:21,614
But don't let you big ass deter
you from your mission.
765
00:46:21,615 --> 00:46:24,481
We want Richard to eat his heart
out.
766
00:46:24,482 --> 00:46:27,282
Oh, he will.
767
00:46:34,726 --> 00:46:36,826
Two of hearts.
768
00:46:37,428 --> 00:46:39,698
Oh, my God.
769
00:46:50,842 --> 00:46:53,410
Hey, do you want a beer?
770
00:46:53,411 --> 00:46:54,941
Yeah.
771
00:46:54,946 --> 00:46:57,176
Thanks.
772
00:46:57,182 --> 00:46:59,252
You're welcome.
773
00:47:07,759 --> 00:47:09,189
[Cracking]
774
00:47:12,163 --> 00:47:14,703
Magic, huh?
775
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:16,930
Yeah.
776
00:47:19,637 --> 00:47:21,697
[Chirping]
777
00:47:22,874 --> 00:47:25,776
Hi. I'm Rebecca.
778
00:47:25,777 --> 00:47:28,907
You are gorgeous.
779
00:47:30,615 --> 00:47:32,375
I'm lucky.
780
00:47:35,854 --> 00:47:37,754
Okay.
781
00:47:38,156 --> 00:47:39,356
Isn't that nice?
782
00:47:39,357 --> 00:47:42,757
I'll go put these in invisible
water.
783
00:47:43,895 --> 00:47:45,555
Are you ready?
784
00:47:45,563 --> 00:47:47,703
Okay.
785
00:47:49,734 --> 00:47:51,050
[Door closing]
786
00:47:51,051 --> 00:47:52,371
Hey, what's invisible water?
787
00:47:52,372 --> 00:47:54,900
Michelle: I don't know.
788
00:48:03,648 --> 00:48:07,718
So, Michelle told me you've been
having a tough time lately.
789
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:10,988
Yeah. Yeah. But I'd really
rather not talk about it.
790
00:48:10,989 --> 00:48:15,929
I've been trying to forget about
it for like a whole ten minutes.
791
00:48:17,896 --> 00:48:19,496
I hope I can help.
792
00:48:19,497 --> 00:48:22,827
Me, too. I crave distraction
right now.
793
00:48:22,834 --> 00:48:24,201
Really? Huh.
794
00:48:24,202 --> 00:48:27,802
Why don't you look under the
table?
795
00:48:31,042 --> 00:48:33,082
[Cooing]
796
00:48:34,679 --> 00:48:38,248
Um, there's a fucking bird under
the table.
797
00:48:38,249 --> 00:48:40,949
Why don't you look again?
798
00:48:44,055 --> 00:48:47,415
I swear to God there was a bird
there a second ago.
799
00:48:47,425 --> 00:48:50,185
It's magic.
800
00:48:50,194 --> 00:48:51,764
Oh.
801
00:48:55,366 --> 00:48:56,466
I'm really hungry.
802
00:48:56,467 --> 00:48:58,267
Can we maybe call the waiter
over here
803
00:48:58,269 --> 00:49:01,238
so we can order some food? I'm gonna
start gnawing on the table cloth.
804
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,139
No problem.
805
00:49:05,243 --> 00:49:06,443
Oh. Do you have a headache?
806
00:49:06,444 --> 00:49:11,554
Shush. I'm psychically calling
our waiter.
807
00:49:16,054 --> 00:49:17,621
Are we ready to order?
808
00:49:17,622 --> 00:49:20,892
Es Magico.
809
00:49:24,896 --> 00:49:26,796
Would you care to hear the
specials?
810
00:49:26,798 --> 00:49:28,058
Sure. Wonderful.
811
00:49:28,066 --> 00:49:29,826
We have a Fettucini that is out
of this world.
812
00:49:29,834 --> 00:49:31,603
Bathed in white clam sauce.
813
00:49:31,604 --> 00:49:33,572
And we have a fantastic rabbit.
814
00:49:33,573 --> 00:49:35,241
Rabbit!
815
00:49:38,009 --> 00:49:40,177
I love rabbit.
816
00:49:40,178 --> 00:49:42,978
I'll have the rabbit, well done,
please,
817
00:49:42,981 --> 00:49:46,981
and a bottle of your best
chardonnay.
818
00:49:47,685 --> 00:49:49,915
She'll have salad and the water.
819
00:49:49,921 --> 00:49:51,688
Certainly. Very good.
820
00:49:51,689 --> 00:49:55,689
I hope my rabbit doesn't eat
your salad.
821
00:50:05,303 --> 00:50:06,503
Will you excuse me?
822
00:50:06,504 --> 00:50:09,544
I have to use the little girls'
room.
823
00:50:17,849 --> 00:50:19,919
Oh, come on.
824
00:50:20,651 --> 00:50:23,091
Please.
825
00:50:32,463 --> 00:50:34,831
Where did he get that shirt?
826
00:50:34,832 --> 00:50:37,367
And the skank.
827
00:50:37,368 --> 00:50:40,698
She's pretty.
828
00:50:41,339 --> 00:50:43,839
Why do Exs look better when
they're Exs?
829
00:50:43,841 --> 00:50:46,576
Why am I talking to myself in
the mirror?
830
00:50:46,577 --> 00:50:47,577
I don't know.
831
00:50:47,578 --> 00:50:48,738
Then shut up.
832
00:50:48,746 --> 00:50:50,246
You shut up.
833
00:50:58,189 --> 00:51:00,489
Why did the blonde jump off the
building?
834
00:51:00,491 --> 00:51:03,831
To see if a maxi-pad had wings.
835
00:51:11,836 --> 00:51:14,166
[Crying]
836
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:36,760
Thank you.
837
00:51:36,761 --> 00:51:39,501
You're welcome.
838
00:51:45,803 --> 00:51:47,143
Hi.
839
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:49,806
Wow.
840
00:51:49,807 --> 00:51:53,507
You look even more beautiful.
841
00:51:55,746 --> 00:51:58,306
What? Huh? No, thank you.
842
00:51:58,316 --> 00:51:59,876
No, I didn't ask you anything.
843
00:51:59,884 --> 00:52:04,221
I just said that you look even
more beautiful.
844
00:52:04,222 --> 00:52:08,959
Oh! You made this into a flower.
That's so sweet.
845
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:12,290
No. That wasn't me. That was the
waiter.
846
00:52:13,831 --> 00:52:15,161
Oh.
847
00:52:16,134 --> 00:52:19,136
So, beautiful,
848
00:52:19,137 --> 00:52:21,437
where would you like to go after
this?
849
00:52:21,439 --> 00:52:23,309
Why don't we figure that out
later?
850
00:52:23,310 --> 00:52:27,277
Right now I just want to sit in
this chair and stay put.
851
00:52:27,278 --> 00:52:29,408
Or maybe not.
852
00:52:29,413 --> 00:52:32,249
You weigh 125 pounds, right?
853
00:52:32,250 --> 00:52:37,287
No. I'm 115.
854
00:52:37,288 --> 00:52:39,858
Fine. 125.
855
00:52:41,292 --> 00:52:44,277
Here we are.
856
00:52:44,278 --> 00:52:47,258
A beautiful salad for a
delightful lady.
857
00:52:47,265 --> 00:52:50,495
And... The rabbit.
858
00:52:50,501 --> 00:52:52,371
Rabbit!
859
00:52:54,705 --> 00:52:56,605
Can you send a blue fucker on
the rocks
860
00:52:56,607 --> 00:52:58,507
to that guy in the corner?
861
00:52:58,509 --> 00:53:00,179
Um-hmm.
862
00:53:03,214 --> 00:53:04,154
I'll go first.
863
00:53:04,155 --> 00:53:08,178
Oh. I didn't know we were taking
turns.
864
00:53:08,186 --> 00:53:12,656
Let's see, your beauty is like a
magic spell.
865
00:53:12,657 --> 00:53:15,717
So mysterious and tricky,
866
00:53:15,726 --> 00:53:18,956
it could make an angel lose his
wings.
867
00:53:18,963 --> 00:53:20,003
Where's my wings?
868
00:53:20,004 --> 00:53:21,357
Where's my wings?
869
00:53:21,365 --> 00:53:25,025
But conquer any dragon.
870
00:53:26,671 --> 00:53:31,071
I hope you let me look inside because
I'd really love to taste your treasure.
871
00:53:31,075 --> 00:53:35,375
Well, my treasure's under
construction right now, so...
872
00:53:35,813 --> 00:53:37,553
Oh.
873
00:53:41,219 --> 00:53:43,489
Now, you.
874
00:53:44,388 --> 00:53:45,418
Okay. Um...
875
00:53:45,423 --> 00:53:48,058
Excuse me, sir. A blue fucker,
876
00:53:48,059 --> 00:53:52,189
compliments of the young lady
over there.
877
00:53:52,196 --> 00:53:53,996
Who's that?
878
00:53:55,833 --> 00:53:58,233
Your love spell has worked so
well
879
00:53:58,236 --> 00:54:00,396
that it has taken control over
my body
880
00:54:00,404 --> 00:54:05,444
and making me do things I would
never do in my life.
881
00:54:10,915 --> 00:54:12,715
Oh, shit! I'm sorry.
882
00:54:12,717 --> 00:54:16,987
No, don't worry about it. Don't
worry about it. I got it.
883
00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:20,688
No. No, don't. Don't. It's fine.
884
00:54:20,691 --> 00:54:22,421
No, no, no, no. It's fine.
885
00:54:22,426 --> 00:54:25,326
Don't worry about it. No, no,
no-
886
00:54:32,403 --> 00:54:36,273
guess what? It ain't magic.
887
00:54:36,274 --> 00:54:38,274
[Screaming]
888
00:54:38,276 --> 00:54:41,276
And the wizard says to the
little boy,
889
00:54:41,279 --> 00:54:44,109
"you can't do magic with your
bare hands.
890
00:54:44,115 --> 00:54:46,875
You need a magical wand."
891
00:54:47,818 --> 00:54:49,218
Will you shut up?
892
00:54:49,220 --> 00:54:50,620
[Tires screech]
893
00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:52,421
You stupid-
894
00:54:52,423 --> 00:54:54,457
[tires screech]
895
00:54:54,458 --> 00:54:56,388
[Siren wails]
896
00:54:56,394 --> 00:54:59,504
Magic spell!
897
00:55:16,414 --> 00:55:18,982
What the hell is your problem?
898
00:55:18,983 --> 00:55:21,453
You realize you could've killed
somebody?
899
00:55:21,454 --> 00:55:24,022
First of all, top o' the morning
to you.
900
00:55:24,023 --> 00:55:25,321
I'm sorry, officer.
901
00:55:25,323 --> 00:55:28,858
There was actually a big bee in
the car.
902
00:55:28,859 --> 00:55:32,529
And I'm allergic.
903
00:55:32,530 --> 00:55:34,060
A bee?
904
00:55:34,332 --> 00:55:36,602
Sir, I'm gonna ask to search
your vehicle.
905
00:55:36,603 --> 00:55:39,700
Would you please pop the trunk
for me?
906
00:55:39,704 --> 00:55:41,774
Sure.
907
00:55:42,540 --> 00:55:43,470
Pop.
908
00:55:43,474 --> 00:55:45,174
There you go.
909
00:55:45,176 --> 00:55:46,506
So what do we got?
910
00:55:46,510 --> 00:55:49,080
A couple of smart-asses.
911
00:55:50,014 --> 00:55:51,548
Whew. Whew.
912
00:55:51,549 --> 00:55:54,449
We got ourselves a couple of
bombers.
913
00:55:54,452 --> 00:55:55,652
Sure as shit do.
914
00:55:55,653 --> 00:55:59,456
What the hell is wrong with you?
915
00:55:59,457 --> 00:56:02,017
Don't worry. Follow my lead.
916
00:56:02,026 --> 00:56:03,356
Don't move.
917
00:56:03,361 --> 00:56:06,131
You wanna tell me about what you
got in the trunk?
918
00:56:06,132 --> 00:56:08,130
Yeah. I'm a magician.
919
00:56:08,132 --> 00:56:10,532
I didn't know magicians carried
c-4.
920
00:56:10,534 --> 00:56:12,074
C-4? What the hell is c-4?
921
00:56:12,075 --> 00:56:16,406
C-4 is actually a very powerful
explosive.
922
00:56:16,407 --> 00:56:19,476
Explosive? Are you out of your
mind?
923
00:56:19,477 --> 00:56:21,477
Wait. Of course you are.
924
00:56:21,479 --> 00:56:22,879
Listen, I can explain.
925
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:27,417
I'm doing a big underwater trick
on the tonight show.
926
00:56:27,418 --> 00:56:30,387
And there's a big explosion at
the end.
927
00:56:30,388 --> 00:56:31,418
That's all.
928
00:56:31,422 --> 00:56:33,222
That's it. All right, out of the
car.
929
00:56:33,224 --> 00:56:34,424
What?
930
00:56:34,425 --> 00:56:35,655
Step out of the car. You're
under arrest.
931
00:56:35,659 --> 00:56:37,829
Step out of the car, sir. Step
out.
932
00:56:37,830 --> 00:56:40,098
Turn around, hands behind your
back.
933
00:56:40,099 --> 00:56:41,857
You have the right to remain
silent.
934
00:56:41,866 --> 00:56:45,326
Anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
935
00:56:45,336 --> 00:56:46,196
You know the rest.
936
00:56:46,203 --> 00:56:48,671
This is a big misunderstanding.
937
00:56:48,672 --> 00:56:49,839
We're gonna be fine.
938
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:51,240
They're not gonna do nothing to
us.
939
00:56:51,242 --> 00:56:55,312
I need you both to remove all of
your garments, please.
940
00:56:57,782 --> 00:57:00,850
Can we both do this separately?
941
00:57:00,851 --> 00:57:03,286
I mean, I hardly know this guy.
942
00:57:03,287 --> 00:57:06,087
Yeah. Well, that's what they all
say.
943
00:57:06,090 --> 00:57:07,860
She doesn't feel comfortable
944
00:57:07,861 --> 00:57:11,458
taking off her clothes in front
of me.
945
00:57:18,369 --> 00:57:23,269
Either you do it or I do it for
you.
946
00:57:24,108 --> 00:57:25,968
Okay.
947
00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:44,964
You're almost there.
948
00:57:44,965 --> 00:57:50,332
Please. Please, I am begging
you. Please.
949
00:57:50,334 --> 00:57:53,044
Let me do this someplace else.
950
00:58:02,913 --> 00:58:05,553
What is that, a mattress?
951
00:58:06,684 --> 00:58:10,520
All right, it's your turn, sir.
952
00:58:10,521 --> 00:58:12,551
Let's go.
953
00:58:33,978 --> 00:58:37,278
Well, I won't be giving her the
cavity search.
954
00:58:37,281 --> 00:58:43,820
So it looks like it's your lucky
day, bastard.
955
00:58:43,821 --> 00:58:46,891
Drop 'em.
956
00:58:53,130 --> 00:58:54,830
Well, well, well.
957
00:58:54,832 --> 00:58:58,872
What do we have here?
958
00:59:05,042 --> 00:59:08,882
I was saving this trick for
later.
959
00:59:27,331 --> 00:59:29,001
Magic!
960
00:59:38,676 --> 00:59:41,476
Hi. Hi.
961
00:59:45,382 --> 00:59:46,952
Can I ask you something?
962
00:59:46,953 --> 00:59:48,581
I'm not going anywhere.
963
00:59:48,586 --> 00:59:54,416
What made you get into your
profession?
964
00:59:54,425 --> 00:59:59,055
I walked in on my boyfriend
fucking another girl.
965
00:59:59,063 --> 01:00:05,602
That's it! That's it! I knew it!
966
01:00:05,603 --> 01:00:08,803
I'm joining your posse!
967
01:00:09,907 --> 01:00:14,207
I just need to get away from all
this pain.
968
01:00:14,211 --> 01:00:15,641
You know what I realized?
969
01:00:15,646 --> 01:00:18,776
Sometimes you just gotta face
the music.
970
01:00:18,782 --> 01:00:19,949
And move on.
971
01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:22,580
Blah blah blah blah.
972
01:00:22,586 --> 01:00:25,446
Yeah, right, lady.
973
01:00:36,066 --> 01:00:40,336
"The hardest love to learn is
that which is dark.
974
01:00:40,337 --> 01:00:43,606
"The kind that causes the most
pain.
975
01:00:43,607 --> 01:00:48,337
"It is up to the soul to look
past that dirty love
976
01:00:48,345 --> 01:00:53,775
"and regain the beauty that
illuminated so bright before.
977
01:00:53,784 --> 01:00:58,021
Pure love."
978
01:00:58,022 --> 01:00:59,422
Yeah, right.
979
01:00:59,423 --> 01:01:06,033
My white pony is probably in a
give factory by now.
980
01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:12,430
♪ You're so unfair to me, man ♪
981
01:01:12,436 --> 01:01:17,506
♪ Can't you see what you're
doing to me ♪
982
01:01:17,508 --> 01:01:25,578
♪ I'll go along my way ♪
983
01:01:29,553 --> 01:01:34,991
Rajul. Listen, I had to sleep
with a 70-year-old man
984
01:01:34,992 --> 01:01:36,730
for two years to get that ring.
985
01:01:36,731 --> 01:01:39,457
You should have kept your legs
together.
986
01:01:39,463 --> 01:01:41,297
You are an asshole.
987
01:01:41,298 --> 01:01:42,498
You're a slut.
988
01:01:42,499 --> 01:01:45,899
I'm aware of that, but it's
three karats.
989
01:01:49,740 --> 01:01:51,440
Hi.
990
01:01:53,744 --> 01:01:56,012
What have you got for me?
991
01:01:56,013 --> 01:01:58,413
A 1968 Martin V.18,
992
01:01:58,415 --> 01:02:01,675
a '59 Gretsch Duo Jet,
993
01:02:01,685 --> 01:02:03,815
a '59 country Western,
994
01:02:03,821 --> 01:02:05,851
and a '66 Kohner.
995
01:02:05,856 --> 01:02:09,926
The '66 Kohner. Can I see it,
please?
996
01:02:09,927 --> 01:02:12,827
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
997
01:02:20,037 --> 01:02:22,837
You like it?
998
01:02:31,248 --> 01:02:32,778
I cannot believe my eyes.
999
01:02:32,783 --> 01:02:37,720
This is the very guitar I played
for my wife at our wedding.
1000
01:02:37,721 --> 01:02:41,891
Are you sure it was that very
guitar?
1001
01:02:41,892 --> 01:02:43,760
Yes. You see this?
1002
01:02:43,761 --> 01:02:45,961
"R" is Rajul. Me.
1003
01:02:45,963 --> 01:02:47,930
"M" is for Morona, my wife.
1004
01:02:47,931 --> 01:02:49,801
I always wondered what that
meant.
1005
01:02:49,802 --> 01:02:53,069
That's pretty amazing, huh?
1006
01:02:53,070 --> 01:02:55,200
No, no. It was meant to be.
1007
01:02:55,205 --> 01:02:58,635
I always knew it would come back
to me.
1008
01:02:58,642 --> 01:03:00,977
How much do you want for it?
1009
01:03:00,978 --> 01:03:02,238
Name your price.
1010
01:03:02,246 --> 01:03:05,946
The others you can keep. I have
no need for them.
1011
01:03:07,084 --> 01:03:09,554
$3,000.
1012
01:03:16,393 --> 01:03:17,593
Done.
1013
01:03:17,594 --> 01:03:19,094
Okay.
1014
01:03:19,096 --> 01:03:20,296
Wait!
1015
01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:22,197
Wait.
1016
01:03:23,967 --> 01:03:25,327
Here's another 500.
1017
01:03:25,335 --> 01:03:28,165
That you for taking such good
care of it.
1018
01:03:28,172 --> 01:03:33,342
You are very, very welcome.
Thank you.
1019
01:03:33,343 --> 01:03:35,143
All right.
1020
01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:38,045
Have a good day.
1021
01:03:49,827 --> 01:03:51,457
What you doing?
1022
01:03:51,461 --> 01:03:53,529
I'm practicing. Gosh!
1023
01:03:53,530 --> 01:03:55,130
For what?
1024
01:03:55,132 --> 01:03:57,502
It's a new kind of mating call I
read in some onion newspaper.
1025
01:03:57,503 --> 01:04:00,636
It subconsciously attracts men
to women.
1026
01:04:00,637 --> 01:04:02,797
By making your nose squeak?
1027
01:04:02,806 --> 01:04:06,466
Yeah. Why do you think I had so
many dates this week?
1028
01:04:06,476 --> 01:04:08,006
'Cause you a 'ho.
1029
01:04:08,011 --> 01:04:10,051
Hey, John's driving tonight,
right?
1030
01:04:10,052 --> 01:04:11,277
No doubt.
1031
01:04:11,281 --> 01:04:13,449
Oh, my God! Look at this!
1032
01:04:13,450 --> 01:04:17,019
Look. Why does it have to go
here and not my boobs?
1033
01:04:17,020 --> 01:04:20,857
What you need to do is get your
titties done like me.
1034
01:04:20,858 --> 01:04:23,658
I might be hungry but I look
good.
1035
01:04:23,660 --> 01:04:25,860
I think I'm leaning on one of
your boobs.
1036
01:04:25,863 --> 01:04:29,298
I can't wait to see this band
play.
1037
01:04:29,299 --> 01:04:31,499
Yeah, well, just don't puke all
over the mosh pit
1038
01:04:31,501 --> 01:04:32,571
and it should be pretty good.
1039
01:04:32,572 --> 01:04:35,969
Oh, my God. I totally forgot
about that.
1040
01:04:35,973 --> 01:04:38,741
Some asshole slipped me a
Mickey.
1041
01:04:38,742 --> 01:04:40,812
That was your boyfriend, Carrie.
1042
01:04:40,813 --> 01:04:42,081
Holy shit, you're right.
1043
01:04:42,082 --> 01:04:44,179
It's all coming back to me now.
1044
01:04:44,181 --> 01:04:46,351
He kept wanting me to go in his
van.
1045
01:04:46,352 --> 01:04:49,020
You know, your really need to be
more careful on who you pick up.
1046
01:04:49,021 --> 01:04:51,089
Why do you think I stopped
dating grips?
1047
01:04:51,090 --> 01:04:54,588
I caught on pretty quick that they have
absolutely no say in the casting process.
1048
01:04:54,591 --> 01:04:57,059
You know what? You've been going
at this for six years now
1049
01:04:57,060 --> 01:04:59,030
and it probably wouldn't hurt to
get into some acting classes.
1050
01:04:59,031 --> 01:05:03,499
No. I don't like how they want
you to go deep inside yourself.
1051
01:05:03,500 --> 01:05:04,830
And think.
1052
01:05:04,835 --> 01:05:07,935
It hurts my head, all that "find
your inner child."
1053
01:05:07,938 --> 01:05:11,768
My inner child is a dark, muddy
tunnel.
1054
01:05:11,775 --> 01:05:13,065
I don't want to step foot in it.
1055
01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:15,276
I can tell you from experience,
1056
01:05:15,279 --> 01:05:16,709
once you face the music
1057
01:05:16,713 --> 01:05:18,283
you just might see that light at
the end of the tunnel.
1058
01:05:18,284 --> 01:05:22,952
Honey, my light at the end of
the tunnel is an oncoming train.
1059
01:05:22,953 --> 01:05:24,353
[Horn honking]
1060
01:05:24,354 --> 01:05:25,788
Let's go, people.
1061
01:05:25,789 --> 01:05:30,689
Who is the best designated
driver in the whole world?
1062
01:05:30,694 --> 01:05:32,364
John is! John is! John is!
1063
01:05:32,365 --> 01:05:35,131
I feel really buzzed.
1064
01:05:35,132 --> 01:05:38,067
That's 'cause I put Jack in your
drink.
1065
01:05:38,068 --> 01:05:39,068
Thank you.
1066
01:05:39,069 --> 01:05:40,369
You're welcome.
1067
01:05:40,370 --> 01:05:47,240
[Indistinct chatter]
1068
01:05:47,244 --> 01:05:49,314
Hi.
1069
01:05:49,780 --> 01:05:52,550
Hey, man, are you gay?
1070
01:05:55,152 --> 01:05:55,952
No.
1071
01:05:55,953 --> 01:05:57,486
Oh, man, you gotta be gay.
1072
01:05:57,487 --> 01:05:59,147
'Cause that's the only way hot
chicks like that
1073
01:05:59,156 --> 01:06:02,156
would be seen with a twinky like
you.
1074
01:06:07,230 --> 01:06:08,998
Hey, pork chop.
1075
01:06:08,999 --> 01:06:10,066
Yeah?
1076
01:06:10,067 --> 01:06:11,967
You're just a bit jealous
1077
01:06:11,969 --> 01:06:14,569
because you pumped so many
steroids into your body
1078
01:06:14,571 --> 01:06:17,611
that your dicks have completely
shriveled up.
1079
01:06:17,612 --> 01:06:21,137
Now, him, on the other hand...
1080
01:06:23,347 --> 01:06:24,677
She's right.
1081
01:06:24,681 --> 01:06:27,781
He's always hard and makes me
wet all day long.
1082
01:06:27,784 --> 01:06:30,019
[Moaning]
1083
01:06:30,020 --> 01:06:33,320
He be tearing that ass up, you
know what I'm saying?
1084
01:06:33,323 --> 01:06:37,259
A little bit of donkey.
1085
01:06:37,260 --> 01:06:39,190
[Moaning]
1086
01:06:41,465 --> 01:06:44,125
You like that, don't you, little
cracker boy?
1087
01:06:44,134 --> 01:06:46,434
Let's go, man, let's go.
1088
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:52,870
Carrie: Oh, that was awesome!
1089
01:06:52,876 --> 01:06:56,306
I think I got one of his only
chest hairs in my mouth.
1090
01:06:56,313 --> 01:07:00,149
Rebecca, I can stick up for
myself sometimes, you know.
1091
01:07:00,150 --> 01:07:04,190
I know. We're just helping out a
friend, that's all.
1092
01:07:05,055 --> 01:07:07,955
You know, you're kind of cute
when you get turned on.
1093
01:07:07,958 --> 01:07:09,288
I was not turned on.
1094
01:07:09,292 --> 01:07:12,632
I beg to differ.
1095
01:07:15,198 --> 01:07:16,998
Well, what do you expect?
1096
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:22,070
I'm just saying I'm, you know,
impressed.
1097
01:07:23,206 --> 01:07:26,106
See me in the shower.
1098
01:07:26,743 --> 01:07:29,643
Is that an invitation?
1099
01:07:32,716 --> 01:07:35,376
I'm drunk.
1100
01:07:37,254 --> 01:07:39,154
[Horn honking]
1101
01:07:39,156 --> 01:07:40,016
Come on!
1102
01:07:40,023 --> 01:07:42,823
Here's to the men that we love.
1103
01:07:42,826 --> 01:07:45,086
Here's to the men that love us.
1104
01:07:45,095 --> 01:07:48,825
But the men that we love will
never love us
1105
01:07:48,832 --> 01:07:52,268
so fuck all the men. Here's to
us.
1106
01:07:52,269 --> 01:07:55,269
Word.
1107
01:07:56,339 --> 01:07:59,869
Oh, God. I can't believe he's
here.
1108
01:07:59,876 --> 01:08:00,906
Who?
1109
01:08:00,911 --> 01:08:02,941
Robert Rodale.
1110
01:08:02,946 --> 01:08:05,576
That guy is probably the worst
director
1111
01:08:05,582 --> 01:08:06,882
on the face of the planet.
1112
01:08:06,883 --> 01:08:08,783
I've seen every single one of
his films.
1113
01:08:08,785 --> 01:08:12,785
Right now he's doing this $100 million
piece of crap called "night vision."
1114
01:08:12,789 --> 01:08:15,958
It's about some guy who can see
in the dark.
1115
01:08:15,959 --> 01:08:17,459
Who really cares?
1116
01:08:17,461 --> 01:08:19,131
When does it start shooting?
1117
01:08:19,132 --> 01:08:21,229
I don't know.
1118
01:08:21,231 --> 01:08:25,201
Okay, Carrie, here we go.
1119
01:08:25,202 --> 01:08:27,172
[Laughing]
1120
01:08:29,106 --> 01:08:31,466
Perfect.
1121
01:08:35,312 --> 01:08:39,152
That girl never ceases to amaze
me.
1122
01:08:39,950 --> 01:08:41,580
I don't believe it.
1123
01:08:41,585 --> 01:08:45,085
You need to believe it 'cause I
live with her.
1124
01:08:45,088 --> 01:08:49,158
No. No. Richard's here.
1125
01:08:50,293 --> 01:08:53,162
Why do people have to bump into
their Exs when we get past them?
1126
01:08:53,163 --> 01:08:56,401
I mean, can't they just die
after we're done with them?
1127
01:08:56,402 --> 01:08:58,829
Rebecca, you want me to go ask
him to leave?
1128
01:08:58,835 --> 01:09:01,995
No! No! No!
1129
01:09:02,005 --> 01:09:03,435
Thanks, though.
1130
01:09:03,440 --> 01:09:06,240
I'm just gonna deal with this
the only way I know how.
1131
01:09:06,243 --> 01:09:11,313
Rebecca, maybe you should just
slow down.
1132
01:09:11,314 --> 01:09:13,983
Poo poo on you!
1133
01:09:13,984 --> 01:09:16,018
I wanna dance. Come on.
1134
01:09:16,019 --> 01:09:17,319
John, is that you?
1135
01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:20,289
I knew we were totally meant to
be together.
1136
01:09:20,290 --> 01:09:24,190
Come on, girl, let's go drop it
like it's hot. Come on.
1137
01:09:24,194 --> 01:09:27,796
You want to drop it like it's
hot?
1138
01:09:27,797 --> 01:09:29,027
No! Come here!
1139
01:09:29,032 --> 01:09:33,332
All of us believe that this is
not up to you.
1140
01:09:33,336 --> 01:09:39,266
The fact of the matter is that
it's up to me.
1141
01:09:39,276 --> 01:09:41,306
Audience: Hey! Hey! Hey!
1142
01:09:41,311 --> 01:09:47,216
Hey! Hey! Hey!
1143
01:09:47,217 --> 01:09:49,247
Let's go!
1144
01:09:57,961 --> 01:10:02,701
♪ How can we fake this anymore ♪
1145
01:10:02,999 --> 01:10:07,399
♪ Turn our backs away and choose
to just ignore ♪
1146
01:10:07,404 --> 01:10:12,074
♪ Some say it's ignorance it
makes me feel some innocence ♪
1147
01:10:12,075 --> 01:10:16,875
♪ It takes away a part of me but
I won't let go ♪
1148
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:21,650
♪ Tell me, why can't you see
it's not the way ♪
1149
01:10:21,651 --> 01:10:26,351
♪ When we all fall down it will
be too late ♪
1150
01:10:26,356 --> 01:10:31,226
♪ Why is there no reason we
can't change ♪
1151
01:10:31,228 --> 01:10:36,258
♪ Once we all fall down who will
take the blame ♪
1152
01:10:36,266 --> 01:10:39,166
♪ What will it take ♪
1153
01:10:39,536 --> 01:10:46,266
♪ If nothing could ever be this
real ♪
1154
01:10:46,276 --> 01:10:49,236
Oh, my God.
1155
01:10:50,447 --> 01:10:51,277
Fuck you, Richard!
1156
01:10:51,281 --> 01:10:53,251
♪ Some can't make the sacrifice ♪
1157
01:10:53,252 --> 01:10:56,418
♪ It's much more than just black
and white ♪
1158
01:10:56,419 --> 01:10:58,287
♪ And I won't follow ♪
1159
01:10:58,288 --> 01:11:02,758
♪ Tell me, why can't you see
it's not the way ♪
1160
01:11:02,759 --> 01:11:07,859
♪ When we all fall down it will
be too late ♪
1161
01:11:07,864 --> 01:11:12,701
♪ Why is there no reason we
can't change ♪
1162
01:11:12,702 --> 01:11:16,402
♪ Once we all fall down who will
take the blame ♪
1163
01:11:16,406 --> 01:11:18,066
She's a crazy white bitch.
1164
01:11:18,074 --> 01:11:19,814
♪ Well, at times like these ♪
1165
01:11:19,815 --> 01:11:28,279
♪ I've come to see how everything
but time is running out ♪
1166
01:11:28,285 --> 01:11:31,345
Do you believe in destiny?
1167
01:11:31,655 --> 01:11:33,445
I used to.
1168
01:11:33,456 --> 01:11:37,786
Wow? Really? I was always thinking
about becoming a Scientologist.
1169
01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:39,332
They're always famous, you know?
1170
01:11:39,333 --> 01:11:41,459
Is there like an audition, or
something?
1171
01:11:41,464 --> 01:11:46,034
I could do a monologue from Ron
I. Hubbard.
1172
01:11:46,569 --> 01:11:49,469
♪ We don't see ♪
1173
01:11:49,472 --> 01:11:54,442
♪ Tell me, why can't you see
it's not the way ♪
1174
01:11:54,444 --> 01:11:59,314
♪ When we all fall down it will
be too late ♪
1175
01:11:59,316 --> 01:12:04,086
♪ Why is there no reason we
can't change ♪
1176
01:12:04,087 --> 01:12:10,387
♪ Once we all fall down who will
take the blame ♪
1177
01:12:30,980 --> 01:12:32,348
Why?
1178
01:12:32,349 --> 01:12:36,018
You're right. She does look
better from a distance.
1179
01:12:36,019 --> 01:12:38,349
I don't know why.
1180
01:12:38,355 --> 01:12:40,985
Why don't you just leave us
alone?
1181
01:12:40,990 --> 01:12:42,660
No, I think you do know why.
1182
01:12:42,661 --> 01:12:44,359
Because the night before you did
this,
1183
01:12:44,361 --> 01:12:47,961
we looked at each other and said
that we would always be together.
1184
01:12:49,232 --> 01:12:50,472
And I believed you.
1185
01:12:50,473 --> 01:12:54,367
This was over a long time ago,
Rebecca.
1186
01:12:54,571 --> 01:12:56,971
You just weren't giving me what
it was that I needed.
1187
01:12:56,973 --> 01:12:58,573
And what was that? Gonorrhea?
1188
01:12:58,575 --> 01:13:02,375
Get over yourself, Rebecca,
okay?
1189
01:13:02,379 --> 01:13:04,309
I don't give a shit about you.
1190
01:13:04,314 --> 01:13:05,983
I don't know if I ever did.
1191
01:13:05,984 --> 01:13:09,052
So why don't you just get the
fuck away from us, huh?
1192
01:13:23,733 --> 01:13:26,502
See, I told you.
1193
01:13:26,503 --> 01:13:27,403
You and me, bro.
1194
01:13:27,404 --> 01:13:30,514
You and me!
1195
01:13:33,376 --> 01:13:36,636
Hi. That was so hot.
1196
01:13:39,349 --> 01:13:40,919
Rebecca-
1197
01:13:47,857 --> 01:13:49,487
fuck it.
1198
01:13:50,627 --> 01:13:52,087
Excuse me!
1199
01:13:58,401 --> 01:13:59,201
Yeah?
1200
01:13:59,202 --> 01:14:01,069
Do you want to have sex?
1201
01:14:01,070 --> 01:14:02,100
What?
1202
01:14:02,105 --> 01:14:04,605
I'm totally gonna have sex with
you.
1203
01:14:07,043 --> 01:14:08,577
What do I gotta do?
1204
01:14:08,578 --> 01:14:10,648
Nothing. I mean, you can try a
bunch of cheesy lines on me,
1205
01:14:10,649 --> 01:14:13,577
but why bother? What I'm telling
you is no matter what you do
1206
01:14:13,583 --> 01:14:14,883
you're gonna get laid.
1207
01:14:14,884 --> 01:14:17,653
I don't get it.
1208
01:14:17,654 --> 01:14:19,794
But you're going to.
1209
01:14:22,325 --> 01:14:24,025
Let's go.
1210
01:14:30,099 --> 01:14:31,469
Can I buy you a drink?
1211
01:14:31,470 --> 01:14:35,768
I don't know. Can you?
1212
01:14:35,772 --> 01:14:38,610
I was thinking about getting my
boobs done.
1213
01:14:38,611 --> 01:14:40,108
But then I decided not to.
1214
01:14:40,109 --> 01:14:41,839
You wouldn't be able to see my
inner beauty.
1215
01:14:41,845 --> 01:14:45,645
I'd be just like every other
manufactured Barbie doll in this town.
1216
01:14:45,648 --> 01:14:48,578
Just seeking constant attention
from everyone.
1217
01:14:48,585 --> 01:14:50,515
Hey!
1218
01:14:50,854 --> 01:14:51,954
Are you listening to me?
1219
01:14:51,955 --> 01:14:54,815
I wouldn't let a plastic surgeon
go near.
1220
01:14:54,824 --> 01:14:56,592
I wouldn't go that far.
1221
01:14:56,593 --> 01:14:58,793
I did have my nose done, and I did
have collagen put in my lips.
1222
01:14:58,795 --> 01:15:03,325
And you can be damn sure when I turn
35 I'm getting a full face pull.
1223
01:15:03,333 --> 01:15:06,133
Hey, baby, where you been?
1224
01:15:06,135 --> 01:15:08,695
Right here, waiting for you.
1225
01:15:09,873 --> 01:15:11,306
Who is she?
1226
01:15:11,307 --> 01:15:14,707
Just some skank who wants in my
movie.
1227
01:15:14,711 --> 01:15:17,611
Hey, asshole, I heard that.
1228
01:15:17,614 --> 01:15:18,647
Good.
1229
01:15:18,648 --> 01:15:21,448
You know, one day I'm gonna be
big.
1230
01:15:21,451 --> 01:15:22,851
And you'll be sorry.
1231
01:15:22,852 --> 01:15:23,890
Sure, sweetheart.
1232
01:15:23,891 --> 01:15:25,187
From your lips to God's ears.
1233
01:15:25,188 --> 01:15:27,618
So why don't you go find another
dick to suck,
1234
01:15:27,624 --> 01:15:30,634
'cause my movie's cast.
1235
01:15:32,028 --> 01:15:33,188
You know what?
1236
01:15:33,196 --> 01:15:34,856
It's guys like you that make
girls think
1237
01:15:34,864 --> 01:15:37,164
they have to play your "tickle
my dick" game
1238
01:15:37,166 --> 01:15:39,666
to get anywhere in
this fucking town.
1239
01:15:39,669 --> 01:15:41,299
Well, not anymore.
1240
01:15:41,304 --> 01:15:43,704
In fact, why don't you take care
of your own pencil dick
1241
01:15:43,706 --> 01:15:45,536
and give the new girls in this
town a little bit of time
1242
01:15:45,542 --> 01:15:50,412
to show their stuff before you rape
them of any chance they've got.
1243
01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:52,910
I'm having some people over for
an after-hours.
1244
01:15:52,916 --> 01:15:54,076
You're welcome to join us.
1245
01:15:54,083 --> 01:15:58,186
What, is your mommy out of town?
1246
01:15:58,187 --> 01:16:00,617
That's funny.
1247
01:16:04,561 --> 01:16:06,461
So...
1248
01:16:07,263 --> 01:16:08,330
You good in bed?
1249
01:16:08,331 --> 01:16:10,531
'Cause if you're gonna point and
shoot,
1250
01:16:10,533 --> 01:16:11,773
then I ain't interested.
1251
01:16:11,774 --> 01:16:15,868
You see, a woman needs some
warm-up.
1252
01:16:15,872 --> 01:16:17,672
You know, some pre-game.
1253
01:16:17,674 --> 01:16:19,074
You know what I'm saying?
1254
01:16:19,075 --> 01:16:21,535
You know you're white, right?
1255
01:16:21,544 --> 01:16:23,114
Don't you ever call me that.
1256
01:16:23,115 --> 01:16:28,016
You're kind of cute for a white
boy.
1257
01:16:28,017 --> 01:16:30,786
Hey, Michelle, let's get out of
here.
1258
01:16:30,787 --> 01:16:32,847
I was gonna go to this after
party.
1259
01:16:32,855 --> 01:16:34,755
No, 'Chelle, let's just go.
1260
01:16:34,757 --> 01:16:38,757
All right. I gotta go.
1261
01:16:38,761 --> 01:16:41,261
It's cool. See you later.
1262
01:16:45,702 --> 01:16:47,232
What the fuck was that?
1263
01:16:47,236 --> 01:16:49,096
You fucking pussy, you let her
get away?
1264
01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:52,965
I was on stage with her fucking girlfriend.
I was gonna fuck her.
1265
01:16:52,976 --> 01:16:54,806
[Moaning]
1266
01:16:55,445 --> 01:16:58,705
How's that? Do you like what I'm
doing, baby?
1267
01:16:58,715 --> 01:17:01,315
Yeah, just don't talk.
1268
01:17:10,326 --> 01:17:12,426
What the hell...
1269
01:17:12,428 --> 01:17:14,328
Ouch!
1270
01:17:14,764 --> 01:17:17,633
It's not bubble gum. You don't
chew it.
1271
01:17:17,634 --> 01:17:20,302
Oh. Sorry.
1272
01:17:20,303 --> 01:17:22,771
I can do it better.
1273
01:17:22,772 --> 01:17:24,840
No. No.
1274
01:17:24,841 --> 01:17:26,741
No.
1275
01:17:26,743 --> 01:17:27,976
I can't do this.
1276
01:17:27,977 --> 01:17:29,507
This is so stupid. I'm not gonna
sleep with you.
1277
01:17:29,512 --> 01:17:32,512
Come on. Just give me another
chance.
1278
01:17:32,515 --> 01:17:34,645
It's not you. It's me.
1279
01:17:34,651 --> 01:17:36,781
Why the hell do chicks always
say that?
1280
01:17:36,786 --> 01:17:41,816
I don't know. Hormones. Morals.
12 years of catholic school.
1281
01:17:44,861 --> 01:17:46,591
Will we see each other again?
1282
01:17:46,596 --> 01:17:48,696
I don't want to see anybody for
a while.
1283
01:17:48,698 --> 01:17:51,198
At least till I know it's right.
1284
01:17:54,671 --> 01:17:56,041
Let me give you a tip.
1285
01:17:56,042 --> 01:18:00,569
Buy yourself a mango, cut it in
half, and practice.
1286
01:18:03,046 --> 01:18:04,846
[Door closing]
1287
01:18:18,728 --> 01:18:20,158
Rebecca: What's wrong with
girls?
1288
01:18:20,163 --> 01:18:22,701
Why do we feel the need to sleep
with someone for revenge?
1289
01:18:22,702 --> 01:18:25,299
I don't know how we ever let
guys make us feel this way.
1290
01:18:25,301 --> 01:18:27,739
We're supposed to be spiritually
stronger then men.
1291
01:18:27,740 --> 01:18:29,567
Yet I feel like we are so much
weaker.
1292
01:18:29,572 --> 01:18:34,912
I don't know. Maybe we do it
because we need to feel wanted.
1293
01:18:36,012 --> 01:18:38,912
Maybe it's just to fill that
deep, dark hole.
1294
01:18:38,915 --> 01:18:40,815
To make some of that pain go
away.
1295
01:18:40,817 --> 01:18:42,917
A little company.
1296
01:18:42,919 --> 01:18:49,059
Or maybe it's okay to just take
time and go through things alone.
1297
01:18:49,892 --> 01:18:54,562
Why does love have to be so
cruel?
1298
01:19:58,461 --> 01:20:00,729
Why did you do this, John?
1299
01:20:00,730 --> 01:20:02,930
I did it cause...
1300
01:20:02,932 --> 01:20:06,568
Because you're the most
beautiful girl in the world,
1301
01:20:06,569 --> 01:20:07,769
and when you are happy,
1302
01:20:07,770 --> 01:20:09,838
your face lights up so much,
1303
01:20:09,839 --> 01:20:11,608
and I hated seeing you unhappy.
1304
01:20:11,609 --> 01:20:13,907
And I knew that if I got you
this stuff,
1305
01:20:13,910 --> 01:20:19,347
your world would come together and
it would make your life better,
1306
01:20:19,348 --> 01:20:24,218
and you deserve the best life in
the world.
1307
01:20:40,203 --> 01:20:42,073
I can't.
1308
01:20:44,473 --> 01:20:47,843
I can't do this. No.
1309
01:20:50,646 --> 01:20:52,946
It just won't work.
1310
01:20:56,485 --> 01:20:58,185
Why?
1311
01:20:58,187 --> 01:20:59,847
I'm sorry.
1312
01:21:10,466 --> 01:21:12,066
[Door slams]
1313
01:21:22,645 --> 01:21:24,135
John!
1314
01:21:25,648 --> 01:21:27,308
John.
1315
01:22:20,970 --> 01:22:22,500
John!
1316
01:22:23,205 --> 01:22:24,935
John, please.
1317
01:22:24,941 --> 01:22:28,611
John, just in the car. I am
begging you.
1318
01:22:29,245 --> 01:22:31,875
Listen, I never meant to hurt
you.
1319
01:22:31,881 --> 01:22:34,215
I've just been through so much
1320
01:22:34,216 --> 01:22:36,546
that I can't handle being in a
relationship right now.
1321
01:22:36,552 --> 01:22:39,152
Rebecca, do you know that I have
been in love with you
1322
01:22:39,155 --> 01:22:40,985
since the very first moment I
saw you?
1323
01:22:40,990 --> 01:22:44,059
I really thought that if I was
patient,
1324
01:22:44,060 --> 01:22:45,560
things would just work itself
out,
1325
01:22:45,561 --> 01:22:47,591
and I sat there and I watched
1326
01:22:47,596 --> 01:22:50,326
when it just seemed like you'd rather be
with someone who treated you like shit
1327
01:22:50,333 --> 01:22:54,302
than someone who really fucking
cared about you.
1328
01:22:54,303 --> 01:22:59,013
Here I am, Rebecca. Here I am.
1329
01:23:01,310 --> 01:23:05,110
You know, I'm putting my heart
on the line here,
1330
01:23:05,114 --> 01:23:06,984
and you don't seem to care at
all.
1331
01:23:06,985 --> 01:23:09,683
I do.
1332
01:23:11,354 --> 01:23:12,420
I do.
1333
01:23:12,421 --> 01:23:14,821
Why?
1334
01:23:17,126 --> 01:23:18,556
I...
1335
01:23:20,129 --> 01:23:22,159
Why?
1336
01:23:24,967 --> 01:23:26,297
Forget it.
1337
01:23:26,302 --> 01:23:30,702
You know, I think I'd really
rather take the bus.
1338
01:23:34,176 --> 01:23:36,176
I'm scared.
1339
01:23:39,148 --> 01:23:40,948
Fuck.
1340
01:23:42,118 --> 01:23:43,918
Fuck!
1341
01:23:47,523 --> 01:23:50,158
♪ Baby I was hoping ♪
1342
01:23:50,159 --> 01:23:53,559
♪ For a sign ♪
1343
01:23:53,562 --> 01:23:56,362
♪ Something that I couldn't deny ♪
1344
01:23:56,365 --> 01:24:02,735
♪ And then I was running so fast ♪
1345
01:24:03,239 --> 01:24:07,839
Damn it! Shit!
1346
01:24:07,843 --> 01:24:09,843
♪ Oh baby ♪
1347
01:24:09,845 --> 01:24:11,545
♪ Oh baby ♪
1348
01:24:11,547 --> 01:24:15,647
♪ I finally took a good look ♪
♪ around ♪
1349
01:24:15,651 --> 01:24:17,891
Pony.
1350
01:24:20,723 --> 01:24:22,357
White pony.
1351
01:24:22,358 --> 01:24:25,527
♪ Just for a moment ♪
1352
01:24:25,528 --> 01:24:29,828
You're my white pony!
1353
01:24:31,767 --> 01:24:33,497
Rebecca: I guess what we're
supposed to do
1354
01:24:33,502 --> 01:24:37,072
is find someone whose soul
illuminates as bright as yours,
1355
01:24:37,073 --> 01:24:40,073
to grow with in all the right
ways.
1356
01:24:41,010 --> 01:24:42,410
John!
1357
01:24:42,411 --> 01:24:44,711
You're my white pony! Yeah!
1358
01:24:44,713 --> 01:24:47,153
Stop the bus! Hey!
1359
01:24:47,716 --> 01:24:49,076
Stop the bus!
1360
01:24:49,085 --> 01:24:50,375
Rebecca!
1361
01:24:50,386 --> 01:24:54,186
♪ So now it's waking from my
lonely dream ♪
1362
01:24:54,190 --> 01:24:56,790
Are you all right?
1363
01:24:57,426 --> 01:25:01,896
John, you're my white pony.
1364
01:25:01,897 --> 01:25:05,467
♪ So beautiful the things I can
see ♪
1365
01:25:05,468 --> 01:25:10,798
♪ Do you believe do you believe ♪
1366
01:25:10,806 --> 01:25:16,436
♪ Do you believe in holding love ♪
1367
01:25:16,445 --> 01:25:19,045
♪ Do you believe do you believe ♪
1368
01:25:19,048 --> 01:25:20,748
Rebecca: Once you let go of
dirty love,
1369
01:25:20,749 --> 01:25:24,149
your heart can open up to the
highest love of all.
1370
01:25:24,153 --> 01:25:26,287
Pure love.
1371
01:25:26,288 --> 01:25:29,218
The kind of love you wait your
whole life for.
1372
01:25:29,225 --> 01:25:31,485
♪ I've been looking for the
beauty in life ♪
1373
01:25:31,494 --> 01:25:36,297
♪ And I found it deep inside of
me ♪
1374
01:25:36,298 --> 01:25:41,298
♪ And then I opened wide ♪
1375
01:25:41,303 --> 01:25:44,139
♪ Now I'm flying ♪
1376
01:25:44,140 --> 01:25:49,740
♪ Nothing's gonna hold me down ♪
1377
01:26:05,928 --> 01:26:10,728
They're just fucking globs of
fat!
1378
01:26:14,136 --> 01:26:14,966
That's good.
1379
01:26:14,970 --> 01:26:17,338
That was beautiful.
1380
01:26:17,339 --> 01:26:19,869
Thanks.
1381
01:26:19,875 --> 01:26:22,605
All right.
1382
01:26:25,481 --> 01:26:28,221
I got to go.
1383
01:26:30,152 --> 01:26:33,788
"Take once a day to avoid
outbreaks."
1384
01:26:33,789 --> 01:26:34,856
This is amazing.
1385
01:26:34,857 --> 01:26:39,387
I can't wait to tell my friends
all about it.
1386
01:26:50,306 --> 01:26:53,406
Es magico.
1387
01:26:55,811 --> 01:27:00,211
Touch my bass!
1388
01:27:00,216 --> 01:27:03,976
Touch my fucking bass!
1389
01:27:08,257 --> 01:27:09,887
Yeah.
1390
01:27:46,629 --> 01:27:49,699
[♪...]
95583
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