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1
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,190
(SQUAWKING)
2
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,076
(BRAYS)
3
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:25,269
(DONKEY GRUNTS)
4
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:26,589
(GOAT BLEATS)
5
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:29,195
That's good, is it? The drinking?
6
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,154
Mmm. As long as it doesn't
run away with you.
7
00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:33,789
(INHALES)
8
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,037
It's been a bumpy month or two.
9
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:38,233
Sunshine in a glass.
10
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:41,675
Oh. Hello, darlings.
11
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,359
I've just sat down.
12
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:45,275
LOUISA: Good day at work?
13
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,478
I X-rayed a woman who had a furball
stuck in her oesophagus.
14
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,033
We think she's been licking her cat.
15
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,080
And I can't talk about my work.
It's confidential.
16
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:54,349
Oh, thank goodness.
17
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:55,959
- Except to say that...
- Here we go.
18
00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,514
...there's on less shoplifter called
Alexei Steliotopoulous
19
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,113
plying his trade since this morning.
20
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,111
Oh, I'm proud of you, darling.
21
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:05,596
Just don't do anything
brave, please. Ever.
22
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:08,470
Oh, telegram from Larry, from Athens.
23
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:09,709
Postman gave me it.
24
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,757
"Athens is fulgent.
25
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,080
"Met Indian prince Jeejeebuoy.
26
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,879
"He arrives tomorrow. Short stay."
27
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,518
We have a prince coming to stay?
28
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,551
Well, I hope his immigration
papers are in order.
29
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,359
You know, a tiara does not constitute
a valid passport.
30
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:31,238
But royalty. Maybe he'll come
on an elephant.
31
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:34,512
We're not making any concessions
just because he's a silly prince.
32
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,350
But no harm in a quick spring-clean.
33
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,391
Oh, yes, good.
34
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,159
You three can start on the garden.
35
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,599
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
36
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,950
Oh, please check Roger for fleas.
37
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,229
I'm studying.
38
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,750
Oh, thank you. I'm so pleased.
39
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,235
Finally.
40
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,554
We're immune.
41
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,035
Don't want to give minor royalty a rash.
42
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,195
There we are.
43
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,431
Typical of Larry, to dump someone on us.
44
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,115
- Well, we did live in India, after all.
- Well,
45
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,114
I'm going to work.
46
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,795
Leslie was born in India, Lugaretzia.
47
00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:11,909
In the Punjab.
48
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:13,509
You are Indian?
49
00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:15,199
Well, not really.
50
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,118
But it's all fluid, isn't it,
these days?
51
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,556
We're here, Margo's boyfriend is Turkish
52
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,520
and Leslie's having a baby
with a Greek girl.
53
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:30,279
Do try to get to know Daphne better.
Especially now that you've got
54
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,510
a responsible job you could be proud of.
55
00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,636
I've tried, but her family is so angry
with me for not marrying her.
56
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:38,949
Can't do any more.
57
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:41,589
(CAR HONKS)
58
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:45,953
Good morning, Officer.
59
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,471
Don't you dare kick my wheels.
60
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,035
Policed to meet you.
61
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,320
This is Daryl. Margo says
you have a maharaja coming to stay.
62
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,711
Yes. Larry's started picking up
exotic friends.
63
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,633
But why stop at exotic animals?
64
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:00,392
- (CHUCKLES)
- I come bearing shrimps.
65
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:04,957
Oh, perfect. I can make shrimp mango
pulao for Prince Jeejeebuoy.
66
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,718
No, they are for Gerry's flamingoes.
67
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,111
Shall I get the champagne
for your special visitor?
68
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,316
No, no, no,
he will live like the rest of us.
69
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,031
Actually, Larry might like some,
70
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,355
so, yes, thank you.
71
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:21,953
Do pick up a crate.
72
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:28,189
(WOMAN LAUGHS)
73
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,115
I feel buzzled.
74
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,349
Almost dead anyway... (MUMBLES)
75
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,714
All along...
76
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:54,394
(SNORES)
77
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,393
Captain Creech.
78
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,957
- Huh?
- Captain Creech!
79
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,353
Yes, er...
80
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,469
Only just.
81
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,195
Can I help you up?
82
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:08,995
What's the point?
83
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,317
Perhaps I could find you a nicer gutter,
84
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:12,749
with a view.
85
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:19,112
We will feed one shrimps,
the other, not,
86
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:20,919
to see if it affects their colour.
87
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:24,559
So, are there many animals whose colour
changes with what they eat?
88
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:28,799
Yes, salmon, goldfinches,
also from carotenoids.
89
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,396
You know she's stopped
fretting about my education,
90
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,238
now I take my books
with me everywhere.
91
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,994
What's really in there? Dormice?
92
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:40,834
A weasel?
93
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:48,389
(SQUAWKS)
94
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,076
- (BELL RINGS)
- So, how'd you end up here?
95
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,229
Oh.
96
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,869
Chasing a popsy, mellifluous arse.
97
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,272
Bosoms lagging far behind.
98
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:01,713
Perfectly acceptable.
99
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,319
Aren't you a bit old for that?
100
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,954
Well, turns out, I am.
101
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:11,909
So many luscious beauties
have slipped through my fingers.
102
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:15,673
How is your mother?
103
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,600
Fidgety at the prospect
of grandmotherhood.
104
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:20,429
Otherwise, rather well.
105
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,713
I am at rock-bottom.
106
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,352
I don't have a pot to piss in.
107
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,077
Although, out the window works
just as well, I find.
108
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,428
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
109
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,078
I hate to sound like a bank manager,
110
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,717
but haven't you any savings put by?
111
00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,033
I have my boat in Corfu.
112
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,479
The one I stand up in.
113
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,590
I tried to kill myself, you know?
114
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:52,679
But I couldn't.
115
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,029
Well, that's ironic.
116
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,509
I imagine many people have wanted
to kill you over the years.
117
00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,749
(SNICKERS)
118
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:30,949
MARGO: Relax.
119
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:34,277
He'll probably be one of those
modern Royals who love normality.
120
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,078
- It's not normal here.
- (BLEATING)
121
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,113
There's a zoo.
122
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,316
Lugaretzia will call him something awful
123
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,238
and he'll be expecting a lavatory
that isn't open to the elements.
124
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,638
- Are you all right?
- Yes.
125
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,274
Of course, I am.
126
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,358
Gerry!
127
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:02,796
He's just drawn animals
and written daft stories.
128
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,236
Mom, what do you expect?
Latin declensiables?
129
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,468
That's not right, is it?
130
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,597
"The huge hairy animal, madabau."
131
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,631
And he spells like a half-wit.
132
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:18,193
"A hooly mackerel, a grey baboon,
my fav-o-rit, he sayed..."
133
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,392
Gerry, you solemnly promised
that you were studying.
134
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,471
There is no actual work here.
135
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:27,677
Look, certain is not spelled
S-U-R-T-E-N.
136
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,354
- It should be though, shouldn't it?
- That's not good enough.
137
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,349
You need the structure of a school
138
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,556
where you can make friends
with people your own age.
139
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:38,672
I am not going to a horrible
English boarding school
140
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:40,797
that smells of fear and sick.
141
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,711
No, of course you're not.
142
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:44,874
I'll find you a school here.
143
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,071
Royalty, coming up the garden path!
144
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:27,829
Hello.
145
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:29,958
You must be Mrs Durrell.
146
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,395
Such charm.
147
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,474
Leslie, the hunter.
148
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:36,589
Hi.
149
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,992
Margo, the beauty of the island.
150
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,674
Naturalist par excellence, Gerry.
151
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,269
And Lugaretzia.
152
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:51,999
- The cleaner.
- Ah.
153
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:54,554
Thank you for letting me stay.
154
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,073
It makes me very hot to see you all.
155
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,509
- We're honoured to welcome you.
- (LESLIE CHUCKLES)
156
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:01,714
We've had to scrub the house.
157
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,956
The animals have left a lot of
worrying stains.
158
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,230
May I offer you a welcoming
glass of champagne, Your Highness?
159
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,839
No! Oh, no.
160
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,277
- Have you forgotten something?
- Your elephant?
161
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,795
No. It's my foolish name.
162
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,838
My mother named me Prince.
163
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,036
Her attempt to make
our humble family sound royal.
164
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,789
- Oh.
- That is brilliant.
165
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,718
I'm gonna name my son King.
166
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,839
If I'm allowed a say in the name.
167
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,673
So, what do we call you?
168
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,034
My friends call me Jeejee.
169
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,268
Shall I give back the rest
of the champagne?
170
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,635
No.
171
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,235
Mrs Durrell,
172
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,271
I'll try to make amends
by being a most entertaining guest.
173
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,149
JEEJEE: The tiger padded into the room.
174
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:12,509
We froze,
175
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,038
hoping that if he attacked anybody,
it would be Major Ponsonby,
176
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,839
- whom nobody liked.
- (LAUGHING)
177
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,634
But it turned towards me.
178
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,878
I vowed that if I escaped,
179
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,954
I would live as if each day
were my last.
180
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,559
(SIGHS) Why is he such a joy?
181
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,319
He loves life.
182
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,112
And he's on the side of the angels.
183
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,552
Gerry, you have a beautiful future.
184
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,319
You understand that animals
are our simpler, better selves.
185
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:44,835
They teach us so much.
186
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:49,077
From how to sit quietly,
to how to eat your food with elegance.
187
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,357
I don't think Mother agrees with you.
188
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,032
Look, Gerry, that's not fair.
189
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,198
I've given you freedom most boys
only dream about.
190
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,633
So, why take it away now?
191
00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,433
It's a school,
not a house of correction.
192
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:02,679
What's the difference?
193
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,515
The age-old dichotomy between
formal education
194
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,797
and learning from what my mother calls,
"fannying about."
195
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:13,912
(LAUGHS)
196
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,553
Yes. None of my children liked school.
197
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,628
Leslie took his uniform into the garden
and shot it.
198
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,712
You've created a special family.
199
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,597
Yes, I have, haven't I?
200
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:29,309
Thank you.
201
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,315
I'm remembering how lovely it can be
to have guests.
202
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:33,869
(CAR HONKS)
203
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,353
- Jeejee!
- Larry!
204
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,990
Thank you. I love your family.
205
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,114
Oh, these aren't mine.
You've come to the wrong house.
206
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,949
Humour as a deflective modesty reflex.
207
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:53,473
Yes. Yes.
208
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,069
How was Athens?
209
00:12:58,680 --> 00:12:59,795
Full of good things.
210
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,357
I loved the old ruins so much
211
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,353
I brought one back.
212
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:11,952
He's homeless and destitute.
213
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,359
Yes, of course he is.
214
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,789
He's a drunken old lech.
Nobody wants him in the house.
215
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:17,508
I found him at death's door.
216
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,831
Shall I bury him in the quarry,
Mrs Durrells?
217
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,075
No.
218
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:25,274
Oh. Nice to be talked about.
219
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,910
Or are you discussing
how to get rid of me?
220
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,991
Yes. That's one of the choices.
221
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,638
Tell Mother about karma.
222
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:37,150
Rebuff him, Mrs Durrell, and it may
come back to bite you in the afterlife.
223
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,148
It's rather full here.
224
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,399
But you can stay for a day or two.
225
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,319
You'll have to have Gerry's room.
226
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,716
With the bugs and the rotting stuff,
at that.
227
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,271
Oh! Is that a barely-crested grebe?
228
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,993
By then, the water
was up to my arsehole,
229
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,876
a soothing balm for my dysentery,
230
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:19,710
but bad news in the middle
of cocking Baffin Bay, hmm?
231
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,349
Talk about a grim
north-west passage, eh?
232
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,558
Huh? (LAUGHS BOISTEROUSLY)
233
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,313
(LAUGHS)
234
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,591
I fear these need a scrub, my dear.
235
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,515
(SPEAKING GREEK)
236
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,636
English today. I must practice.
237
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:03,878
I do not like to arrest people.
238
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,712
- Are you in the right job?
- No.
239
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,271
But being a baker turned me
into a whale.
240
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,595
- Oh, come on. We'll trot along.
- No!
241
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,029
Daphne.
242
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:28,513
I want us to be friends.
243
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,596
How could we? You are abandoning me.
244
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:31,989
I'm not.
245
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:35,198
So marry me, then the baby can
have a respectable life.
246
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:36,949
But that's not fair.
247
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,155
Daphne...
248
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:51,835
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
249
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,355
Mrs Durrell. Nothing medical, I hope.
250
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,118
No, I am very well.
251
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,709
Although less so, now Captain Creech
is staying with us.
252
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,193
MARGO: Well, this'll cheer you up.
253
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:04,751
Look. We had a quiet day at work,
so we X-rayed a rabbit wearing glasses.
254
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,875
(CHUCKLES)
255
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,234
Can I ask your advice about Gerry?
256
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,198
I want to find him a local school.
257
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,994
- Oh.
- And this is a fish with an earring.
258
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,033
(SNICKERS)
259
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,430
Let's try to look like professionals.
260
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,518
As you know,
Gerry hated school in England.
261
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,956
So, I need somewhere
that's welcoming but not too lax.
262
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,628
And sporty, because his interests
are a bit narrow.
263
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,318
- Mrs Durrell...
- But he loves writing.
264
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,948
So, a school with a creative ethos
would be...
265
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,111
There's only one school he can go to.
266
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,159
- Oh.
- The nearest one.
267
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:46,038
And you'll both have to be interviewed
by the headmistress
268
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:47,839
who'll test Gerry's Greek.
269
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:49,109
Ah...
270
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,998
I love having him around the house,
271
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,838
but a school's a good idea, isn't it?
272
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,076
Why not? He's fiercely intelligent.
273
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,798
Anywhere would be lucky to have him.
274
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,275
- (BABY GIGGLES)
- (SPEAKING GREEK)
275
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,159
Well, let's leave it. If they're
not sleeping, they're shouting.
276
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,673
We can't just leave it.
277
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:25,554
Nope.
278
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,109
Mrs Petridis.
279
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,713
Have you mislaid a baby?
280
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,989
Thank you!
281
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,556
I put him in the shade,
but I couldn't remember where.
282
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:35,837
At least he didn't roll down a hill
this time.
283
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,394
Yeah. I won't charge you
with neglect on this occasion.
284
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:40,588
Thank you.
285
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,715
(BABY LAUGHS)
286
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,714
(GOAT BLEATS)
287
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,870
I am restored! Ha!
288
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,993
Good. But do try to stay
on the straight and narrow.
289
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,117
Well, I will if you will.
290
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,356
We, uh, both have a bent for, uh,
291
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,910
liquid indulgence, hmm?
292
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,877
Oh, I think she's an amateur
compared to you.
293
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,314
So, who will buy my boat?
294
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,399
I've never seen the appeal.
295
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,036
Water, wind, seagulls.
296
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,549
Chunky knitwear.
297
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:20,954
Oh, don't listen.
298
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:22,951
Les and I are dying to do some sailing.
299
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,596
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
300
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,391
Oh. I like you more and more, my boy.
301
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,155
There.
302
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,392
Twenty pounds, go on.
303
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,436
Arrest me, I'm robbing myself.
304
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,193
It's not even worth 20 bob.
305
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,397
If you knew anything about boats...
306
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:44,515
I do, I do!
307
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,830
You would appreciate
her solid qualities.
308
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,999
I love it. You suddenly realise
you can go anywhere.
309
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,593
What a fine fellow you are.
310
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,353
And this boat's like...
Well, it's like you, Creech.
311
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:56,634
Barnacled, leaking...
312
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,552
Yes, I do do that.
313
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,354
But heroically holding on to existence.
314
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,519
- I'll buy it.
- What?
315
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:05,671
- (LAUGHS)
- Hooray!
316
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,034
You don't even know how to sail.
317
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:08,838
But what an opportunity to start.
318
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,194
The captain will teach me.
319
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:12,635
(LAUGHS) Will I bollocks.
320
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,235
Cheer up.
321
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,551
My brother, having waltzed at the ball
with an eminent European lady
322
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,234
led her back to her seat,
323
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,312
took her fan, and said,
324
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,511
"Madam, may I make wind in your face?"
325
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,069
(ALL LAUGHING)
326
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,718
(SIGHS) India enchanted us.
327
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,948
That's why it was so hard
to settle down in Bournemouth.
328
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,548
Too many memories of warm nights,
329
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,717
and fireflies, and music.
330
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:45,834
And your father,
331
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,915
coming home late from building bridges
to find you all in bed
332
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,116
fighting sleep so you could tell him
about your day.
333
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:56,749
Applause for the chef.
334
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:58,991
- (ALL APPLAUDING)
- Well done, Mummy.
335
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,917
The curry was just missing
some Bombay duck.
336
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,832
You can't get it on Corfu.
337
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,189
Use the local duck.
338
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,635
It's not duck, uh,
it's dried lizard fish.
339
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,109
I'll find a substitute.
340
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,799
What are your plans after us, Jeejee?
341
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,479
I'm on route to Persia
342
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,115
to visit a famous holy man. A fakir.
343
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,837
To prepare, after this meal
I'll fast for four days
344
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,717
to aid meditation into a trance.
345
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,388
I'll fast, too. I'm intensely spiritual.
346
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:26,833
No, I can't fast.
347
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,876
I'm too busy righting wrongs
out there on the street.
348
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,553
Creech! I thought it was quiet.
349
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:36,032
Yes, I've just been snoozing
off the boozing.
350
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,229
(LAUGHS)
351
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:41,588
Forgive me, Mrs Durrell,
but I think you drink too much.
352
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,516
The body is a precision instrument.
353
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,637
To take alcohol is like pouring treacle
into an expensive piano.
354
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,836
Oh, nonsense. Leave the girl alone.
355
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,877
Do you think it's easy
trying to run a ship...
356
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,029
Er, house?
357
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,914
- Thank you.
- Hmm.
358
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,035
And now...
359
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,755
Oh, right.
Let's have a sing-song, shall we?
360
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,951
I'll start off, and you join in.
361
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,075
What?
362
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,158
# Oh, Mary she's a sailor's lassto me
363
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:07,838
# Hooker John, Hoo-John!
364
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,757
# We courted all night on the grass
365
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:11,996
# To me Hooker John, Hoo-John!
366
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,190
# Oh, Susanna
367
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,311
# Way, hay, high high-ya
368
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,311
#Johnny's on the foreyard...
369
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,793
Have you noticed,
370
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,116
it's like mother's good angel
and her bad angel.
371
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:25,629
Wonder who's going to win.
372
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,232
# Yonder, way up yonder #
373
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,115
LESLIE: He's so skinny,
he'll blow into the sea.
374
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:36,879
Especially after two days of fasting.
375
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,196
I wonder if its making him
less judgmental.
376
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,071
Its making him beautifully calm.
377
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,518
- (MARGO GRUNTS)
- (WHACKING)
378
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,677
LAWRENCE: I wonder why it's not been
the same to Margo.
379
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,515
What are you staring at?
380
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,269
(GRUNTS)
381
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,309
Don't kill each other.
382
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,718
And stay away from Albania.
383
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,878
LESLIE:
Watch and learn from me at first.
384
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,712
(IMITATING) Watch and learn
from me at first.
385
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:12,558
I was hungry in the night,
and I ate one of the locusts.
386
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:14,673
Don't tell the boy.
387
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,830
No. First pull on the vang.
388
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,151
- What's the vang?
- It's on the end of the gaff.
389
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,039
I told you what everything is.
390
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:26,998
You're too busy posing in your blouse.
391
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,796
I will arrest you
if you touch that rope again.
392
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,439
This is my boat.
393
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,909
So can you stop for one second
394
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:38,513
(SCREAMS) being a policeman?
395
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,911
Oh, fine. No, no, fine.
396
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,388
I'll leave you to it, shall I?
397
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,595
I would adore that.
398
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:44,749
Yeah.
399
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,871
I don't think you'll find
any lizard fish here.
400
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,634
For your Bombay duck thing.
401
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,433
I'll dry whatever I catch.
402
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:15,793
Let's talk about school.
403
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,157
I'm going to test you some more
on your Greek.
404
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:22,076
You must impress your headmistress,
or your mother will be broken into two.
405
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:23,909
Greek for school?
406
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:26,798
- Schoolopolis.
- So close.
407
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:28,514
- Really?
- No.
408
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:30,953
Greek for mathematics?
409
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:33,469
Mathenapolous.
410
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:34,789
Almost there.
411
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:36,429
- Is it?
- No.
412
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:38,755
(MARGO GROANS)
413
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,555
Oh, darling, please eat something.
Fasting doesn't agree with you.
414
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:44,312
No, it's spiritually cleansing.
415
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,110
Well, you did eat those five biscuits
at lunch yesterday.
416
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,789
Ah. This is harder than childbirth.
417
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:54,829
Right.
418
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,193
Er, mm-mmm. No.
419
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,148
Lugaretzia.
420
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,075
(GAGGING)
421
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:12,913
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
422
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:27,715
LOUISA: Oh, hello.
423
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,751
Fish, for drying.
424
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,109
Oh.
425
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,078
You don't like him no more?
426
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:37,435
I do.
427
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:41,032
But I don't like being told off
in front of my family.
428
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,791
(PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
429
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:54,954
What's going on down there?
430
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,035
It looks illegal.
431
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,958
Never mind. Live and let live.
432
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,833
Isn't that Daphne's father?
433
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,511
(SPEAKING GREEK)
434
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:39,875
Leslie.
435
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,679
Well, Junior Constable Durrell,
strictly speaking.
436
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,149
Yassas.
437
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,875
Jeejee. Margo!
438
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,317
Oh. No wonder he fainted.
It smells hideous.
439
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,237
No, it's the fasting.
440
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,079
He's too thin.
441
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,554
I'm cooking you a very big lunch.
442
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,235
I'm sure enlightenment is also possible
on a full stomach.
443
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,074
- Please tell me to shut up, but...
- Shut up.
444
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,312
Thank you, Jeejee, but I am old enough
to make up my own mind.
445
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:03,913
Of course, you are.
446
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,913
Now, finish that fizzy tosh,
447
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:08,833
and move on to this.
448
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,632
Oh, I'm fine, thank you.
449
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,917
They say it goes with this.
450
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,314
If you're a girly.
451
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:16,993
- Oh.
- JEEJEE: Leslie.
452
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,079
Hi, Jeejee.
453
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:20,833
There's a stink in the garden.
454
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,192
Yes, Jeejee is drying sardines
to make Bombay duck.
455
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:25,949
Mummy, come here.
456
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,836
Why are you taking me
over here, darling?
457
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:35,438
I found out that Daphne's father
458
00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:37,951
is involved in smuggling cigarettes.
459
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:39,429
Oh, no.
460
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,238
I don't know whether to report him.
461
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,393
What happens if you don't?
462
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:45,753
If I'm caught, I lose my job.
463
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,714
Oh, darling, come eat.
464
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,398
Now, try that.
465
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,150
- Mmm!
- (CHUCKLES)
466
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,319
Are you okay, Ms Margo?
467
00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:24,634
I was fasting
and then I ate a whole pie.
468
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:31,030
And that's another reason
why I love it here.
469
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,880
Travellers pass through. You,
470
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,959
my Swedish friend Sven.
471
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:41,712
And Hugh, of course.
Or "Huge", depending on who you talk to.
472
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:43,439
(SNICKERS)
473
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,472
Oh, there there was something missing.
474
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,472
Oh, and recently, in London...
475
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,511
- Spiros.
- Hello, Jeejees.
476
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,313
Ms Durrells, your car awaits.
477
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,273
Oh, where are we going?
I do love surprises.
478
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,357
I am taking you and Gerrys
to meet the headmistress of the school.
479
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:00,555
Oh...
480
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,350
I forgot! God, I am an idiot.
481
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,068
I would advise you to postpone
the encounter, Mrs Durrell.
482
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,953
- Or, shall we just get it over with?
- Yes.
483
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:13,795
It's vital he gets
a bloody good education.
484
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:16,792
I think the bad angel is winning.
485
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:41,195
Ah.
486
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:48,719
Albania?
487
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:52,588
Oh. Let's not go that way.
488
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:55,355
(WOOD BREAKS)
489
00:29:58,160 --> 00:29:59,388
(SIGHS)
490
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,069
Bugger.
491
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:05,879
(SPEAKING GREEK)
492
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:18,392
That's all Greek to me.
493
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,269
(GIGGLES AND HICCUPS) Ooh.
494
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,632
Oh, I do apologise.
495
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,630
You know, I think... Don't you,
496
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,633
that a school is, is like a greenhouse.
497
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:35,469
Carry on.
498
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:37,797
Do you want to get some air, Mother?
499
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,195
No. No, darling,
there's plenty of that in here.
500
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:42,958
My mother has a lot of guests
501
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,156
at the moment, and they can be
quite a handful.
502
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,196
Late nights, that kind of thing.
503
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,436
My fakir Andravadi is an amazing man.
504
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,035
He was once buried alive for 120 days.
505
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,555
- Oh, how awful.
- No. It was deliberate.
506
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:58,958
- Ah.
- He was in a trance.
507
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:00,913
I've experienced it myself.
508
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,592
- Is it magical?
- It is.
509
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,151
You feel you're floating.
510
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,953
- Indeed, real levitation does occur.
- Wow.
511
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,236
It is a paradox that most of us
love the world,
512
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,197
but wish somehow to escape its bounds.
513
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,236
Hmm, like mother's drinking.
514
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:16,993
Indeed. I fear I offended her.
515
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:19,951
It is, after all,
another form of trance.
516
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,478
I wonder if she's come out of it yet.
517
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,076
And would I be able to bring
my dog Roger in?
518
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,358
- No.
- Really?
519
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:29,073
He's now fully free of fleas.
520
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,554
That's not easy to say.
(SNICKERS)
521
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,710
I'm afraid you will not be
coming to this school.
522
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:38,918
What? Why?
523
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,639
It's not your son's fault,
though his Greek is limited.
524
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:44,875
It is yours.
525
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,352
(SNORES)
526
00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:58,909
Oh.
527
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:02,189
Hello, dear.
528
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,079
Must get on,
529
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,790
people to annoy. (COUGHS)
530
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:14,875
Oh.
531
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:18,509
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
532
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,115
Please, Daphne,
533
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,109
may I talk to you?
534
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:26,389
Yes.
535
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:36,712
I don't know if your father
said anything about this morning.
536
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:39,755
He did.
537
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:42,473
I'm not going to tell anyone.
538
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:47,389
Thank you.
539
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,873
I won't tell anyone
even if it costs me my job.
540
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,194
Because whether you like it
or not, we will be family.
541
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,151
It's me who wants us to be
a real family.
542
00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,559
You need to be in love for that.
543
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:07,278
Bloody teachers.
Always judging everyone.
544
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:08,679
I know. Outrageous.
545
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,034
You know, Creech is right.
546
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,236
The finger-waggers
will always be with us.
547
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:14,793
Well, I can't have a drink now,
is that it?
548
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,919
Jeejee's... You need to come,
he's in a trance.
549
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,872
Gerry, run upstairs and try to grab him.
550
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:32,872
Margo, bring cushions.
551
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,279
That doesn't look very safe.
552
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:42,748
Why don't you and I...
553
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:44,229
(GASPS) Jeejee!
554
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:45,953
- Oh, God!
- (THUDS)
555
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:53,948
Speak to me.
556
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:57,234
Please.
557
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:07,068
There we go.
558
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,516
Let's both try to be more normal.
559
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,429
- Did the pelican get you?
- No, he fell onto the pergola.
560
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,517
- I am going to try it again.
- Please don't.
561
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:23,395
Has anyone seen Larry?
562
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:27,031
No, not since I left him on his boat,
which he can't sail, by the way.
563
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,991
He was so annoying.
I just left him there.
564
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:38,599
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
565
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:01,235
Hello, Albanians.
566
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:05,673
I am British.
567
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,675
But think of me, above all,
568
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:10,714
as a friend
569
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,518
- of Albania.
- (MAN SPEAKS ALBANIAN)
570
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:29,835
(MEN TALK INDISTINCTLY IN DISTANCE)
571
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,670
(LARRY SHOUTS)
572
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,075
It's bloody easy
when you know how, isn't it?
573
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:43,474
This sailing?
574
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:47,390
Bloody easy!
575
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,357
MEN: Bloody easy!
576
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,239
(SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN)
577
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:56,112
I'm back! Oh!
578
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,036
Sorry, you must have been
really worried.
579
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,914
Yes, yes. Don't do that again.
580
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,116
I drifted. But I was in safe hands.
581
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,557
Albanians are fantastic people.
582
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:15,478
Ah, good!
Let's send Gerry to school there.
583
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:18,196
He didn't get in. Why?
584
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:20,993
He bang on about bugs
or otter crap till she snapped?
585
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,998
No. I ruined it by turning up drunk.
586
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:26,839
Oh, come on, that is quite funny.
587
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,749
No, it's not.
I keep messing up Gerry's education.
588
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:33,349
And I've been drinking like a fish
since Aunty died,
589
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:34,998
and Leslie made a baby nobody wants.
590
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,109
Poor little mite.
591
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,756
Exactly. That's why you're drinking,
to numb the pain.
592
00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:41,389
You're a fine mother.
593
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,110
And a generous host
to whomever I throw at you.
594
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:46,877
No more guests, please.
595
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:48,718
Unless they're like Jeejeebuoy.
596
00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:51,435
He's sweetened our lives so much,
597
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,955
unlike our sailor friend.
598
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:59,598
I can't for a moment imagine why
I listen to Creech over him.
599
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:00,988
Yeah, that was stupid.
600
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,910
Well, I've given up alcohol, again.
601
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,389
Well, I haven't. In fact,
I need one right now.
602
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:07,874
I was scared back there.
603
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:09,674
We're heading for war in Europe,
604
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,633
and I panic at the sight of some
delightful Albanian fishermen.
605
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,878
It's not me that stinks of fish, is it?
606
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,074
I think it must be, darling.
607
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:25,913
(SQUAWKING)
608
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,913
We are ready to record the results.
609
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:32,190
It's a black and white photograph,
of course,
610
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:33,515
but we'll get the idea.
611
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:44,911
When you feel the urge to have a tipple,
612
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,036
adopt this meditative position.
613
00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:51,434
Now,
614
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,877
think of a word to say over and over.
615
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:56,068
Something simple.
616
00:37:58,280 --> 00:37:59,838
Grandmother.
617
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:04,272
- Grand...
- Don't say it out loud.
618
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:07,032
Possibly a word with fewer syllables?
619
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:09,109
How about fish?
620
00:38:10,240 --> 00:38:12,754
Try something unrelated
to what's on your mind.
621
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,078
Om...
622
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,710
(HUMMING)
623
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,072
I was unfair, Gerry.
624
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:38,669
You're a lovely writer.
625
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,398
- Thank you.
- But Larry writes to dazzle.
626
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:44,873
You write to entertain.
627
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:47,838
And your spelling makes me
laugh out loud.
628
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:49,195
(CHUCKLES)
629
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:52,156
Uh, this is my scientific report.
630
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,748
To show that I'm doing fine
without school.
631
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:56,359
Oh, well, thank you.
632
00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:58,312
I shall read it with interest.
633
00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:02,798
I'm so sorry for yesterday.
634
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:05,796
I can't promise I'll never
embarrass you again.
635
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:08,399
But I won't do it for a while.
636
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:11,519
(GOAT BLEATS)
637
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,797
(MURMURS IN GREEK)
638
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,511
The sardines smell dead.
639
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,796
I know, and Zoltan's coming.
640
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,592
He vomits at the drop of a hat.
641
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:39,395
LUGARETZIA: Quick!
642
00:39:41,240 --> 00:39:42,559
Oh, oh.
643
00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:51,358
LUGARETZIA: Ah! (MURMURS)
644
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,873
Close your eyes and make your chin
go floppy.
645
00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:58,789
Chin is floppy.
646
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,238
Ugh, you do it.
647
00:40:03,720 --> 00:40:05,551
You would benefit from meditation.
648
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:07,519
Because you have a stressful job.
649
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:09,989
Oh, I have. Don't even get me started.
650
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,714
Om.
651
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:15,875
Er...
652
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,116
- Quick, quick.
- Wait, Margo, please.
653
00:40:19,240 --> 00:40:20,514
The fish go first.
654
00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:24,310
Ignore us, Daphne,
we're just burying some fish.
655
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:25,914
(LUGARETZIA GROANS)
656
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:32,995
Quick!
657
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:34,269
Hello, Daphne.
658
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:35,829
Hello.
659
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,349
(LUGARETZIA MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)
660
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:44,355
Thank you, Leslie.
661
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:46,829
Hello, sir.
662
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:48,589
Welcome to the family.
663
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,029
Welcome to mine.
664
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:52,956
I'm not perfect, but my daughter is.
665
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:56,228
Er, please.
666
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:02,829
Tea for our guests?
667
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:04,989
Thank you, Lugaretzia.
668
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:12,039
Oh, hello.
669
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,470
- Hello, Larry?
- Larry!
670
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:16,594
Albania.
671
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:27,395
Champagne?
672
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:28,909
No.
673
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:30,509
Mother's ruin.
674
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:33,352
Look right here. Photograph.
675
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,079
No, kill it. Make a handbag.
676
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:40,273
And I've changed my mind.
677
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:41,908
I love having guests.
678
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:44,352
What are we humans for otherwise?
679
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:47,354
Trains, moving forward on tracks
that never touch.
680
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:51,279
Mrs Durrells. I was worried about you.
681
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:55,508
Thank you.
682
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:57,188
I'm fine now.
683
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,152
I blame myself for buying the bubbly.
684
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:01,673
Well, it's all gone now.
685
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:04,038
And to be honest,
686
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,270
I had a backup vat of cooking sherry.
687
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,115
CREECH: Ah.
688
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:10,953
Hmm.
689
00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:14,598
Well, tragically, dear lady, I...
690
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,191
- I must depart.
- Hmm.
691
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,317
You, er, saved my life.
692
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:21,592
Well, that was rather gracious.
693
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:23,033
- Thank you.
- Hmm.
694
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,753
Anyway, won't be so much fun around here
695
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,314
now the loopy Indian's
buggering off, eh?
696
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,118
(LAUGHS)
697
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:32,428
I knew it couldn't last.
698
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:33,913
And as they say at sea,
699
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,514
one should always leave
before they count the cutlery.
700
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:43,672
And I'm very pleased to tell you that
I've finally beaten the demon drink.
701
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:45,598
Gosh, but how?
702
00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:49,429
Well, I watched you pour it down
your neck all this week,
703
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:52,991
and realized, frankly,
it's all a bit unsavoury.
704
00:42:53,720 --> 00:42:56,712
Not really the kind of thing
I'd like to see in a lady.
705
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:58,149
Shall I strike him?
706
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,112
There's a line of people ahead of you.
707
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:03,631
Shall we say goodbye, Captain?
708
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:05,916
Eh, rather inhospitable.
709
00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:10,030
Got any, er, tucker for the journey?
710
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:11,593
No? No.
711
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:14,517
Well, I didn't see much of you, Jeejee.
712
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:16,712
- But I hear you went down a storm.
- Ah.
713
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,398
I fear I lost credibility when I became
lodged in your greenery.
714
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:23,509
- (ALL LAUGHING)
- No,
715
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:25,318
we thought that was your finest hour.
716
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:27,235
Oh, Prince.
717
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:29,033
It's been a joy.
718
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,153
And if ever you want to be
a fifth Durrell child,
719
00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:35,994
don't hesitate.
720
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:40,631
I'm still amazed that seagulls
managed to eat all my dried fish.
721
00:43:40,720 --> 00:43:42,199
- LESLIE: Shocking.
- I know.
722
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:47,037
Good luck with your fakir. Send us
a photograph of you levitating.
723
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:50,071
Daphne agrees that we should
call our baby King.
724
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,350
- No, I don't.
- Or we might go for Count, or Doctor.
725
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:54,718
Please, all, visit me in India.
726
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:56,871
Gerry, I'm sure I can rustle up a tiger.
727
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,359
GERRY: Bye!
LOUISA: Bye, Jeejee!
728
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,793
Well, that's two guests gone.
729
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:10,953
Now there's just your 54
unwanted animals to go.
730
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,235
Oh, always funny.
731
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:13,309
(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
732
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:15,590
But in fact, there are a couple
whose work is done.
733
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:33,589
So...
734
00:44:34,720 --> 00:44:35,869
Room for some more now.
735
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:47,676
It's been so quiet since
our guests left.
736
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:50,599
Hmm. Don't worry,
I've got a batch coming over.
737
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:52,352
SPIROS: Oi, Lugaretzia.
738
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,596
(SPIROS SPEAKING IN GREEK)
739
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,237
(MEN SPEAKING GREEK)
740
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:05,394
"Greetings.
741
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,670
"From the bottom of my heart,
via a friend in Colombia,
742
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:11,269
"to my kind hosts.
743
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:13,719
- "Jeejee."
- Oh.
744
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,118
That is the weirdest monkey.
745
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:30,639
Have I been drinking again
or does it look like that?
746
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:32,115
It's a sloth.
747
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:39,836
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
52483
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