All language subtitles for 08508577

[fun upbeat orchestra music]

- Oh, I see a move.

Look, eight on the nine and
then your king comes up,

and that plays the queen.

- Will you leave
these cards alone?

You think you can
show me something?

- Why don't you ask me
what the flowers are for?

- All right, Mr. Bones,
what are the flowers for?

- Well, this is of an
anniversary, Gabbo.

Do you know we've been
together just two years today?

- Two years too much.

Flowers are for dead people.

[yelling in foreign language]

How often did I tell you
not to put a hat on the bed

because it's bad luck?

- Oh, hats on the bed
and spilling the salt

and black cats and
walking under ladders,

you make your own bad luck.

- Yeah?

Where's the coffee that
I've asked two hours ago?

- Right there by your side.

It's been there all the time.

- Ice cold.

- But yesterday it was too hot.

- Never mind what
I said yesterday.

One day it's so hot that
you burn your mouth,

and the next day it's so
cold that you freeze it.

- I'll get some more.

- Well, Otto, my boy,
how do you feel today?

- Oh, I feel fine, thank you.

How do you feel, Gabbo?

- Gabbo would feel better
if he wouldn't have

to play Patterson this week.

- You wouldn't be
playing Patterson, dear,

if you called Petrus, the agent.

He has better times for you.

- Yeah?

Why should I call him?

Let him call me.

They should be glad to
get an act like mine.

They can't get Gabbos every day.

Coffee was too hot.

If I want anything done
right, I got to do it myself.

- How well you fixed
for steady company.

- Otto, how often did I
tell you not to be so fresh?

- Okay, chief.

How well you fixed
for steady company.

- Otto, now that's enough
or I'll put you away.

Ladies and gentlemen,
[clearing throat]

I will now do the impossible.

I will smoke a cigarette
and drink water

and at the same
time use my voice.

Very well done, Mary.

[tray clattering]

All right, there, Professor.

[chord of orchestra music]

♪ Oh it rains and blows
and it hails and snows ♪

♪ On the cockeyed
hills of home ♪

♪ Ha ha ha, he he he

♪ Oh oh oh, I'm laughing

♪ Though I owe the rent
und my dough's all spent ♪

♪ And my best gal said so long

♪ Ha ha ha, he he he

♪ Oh oh oh, I'm laughing

♪ Every little rain drop
makes the grass grow green ♪

♪ Laughing makes the pain stop

♪ For every laugh I
promise something ♪

♪ If you fret und
die Welt's all wet, ♪

♪ Don't forget
this little song ♪

♪ Ha ha ha, he he he

♪ Oh oh oh, I'm laughing

[chord of orchestra music]

[audience applauding]

[upbeat orchestra music]

- Uh, I'm sorry.

- What have you done?

I'll show you, you clumsy fool.

- But you told me to-

- But I didn't tell you
to drop the tray, did I?

Go to your room.

[speaking foreign language]
[distant upbeat music]

- Oh.

- And you were rotten, too.

Of all the stupid,
bungling idiots

I've ever seen in my
life, she is the worst.

[speaking foreign language]

- Say, now somebody ought to
knock that guy's block off.

- Yeah, I'd like
to do it myself.

[speaking foreign language]

- How often did I tell you how

and when to put the
props on the stage?

Are you so stupid that
you will never learn?

- But I did exactly as you told-

- You did not.

Don't say you did
when you did not.

- But I did.

- You did not.

Did I tell you to drop the tray?

No, I won't stand for you
talking back to me like this.

Who the devil you
think you are, anyway?

- Well, I will talk back to you

and I won't stand it any longer.

- Oh, you won't, huh?

Well, let me tell you something.

I am the greatest
living artist in my line

in the whole world and I'm
not going to have my act

spoiled by you.

- Your act, your
act, always your act.

Oh, you're a fool.

You're so wrapped up in yourself

that you're blind
to anyone else.

It's always, you, you, you.

- Keep quiet.

I won't have you saying
such things to me.

Neck tie.

It's my act.

And when it's bad,
they blame me for it

and you are the one that makes
it bad with your bungling.

- Oh, whenever the
act goes wrong,

I'm the one you
always blame for it.

- Because you're
always to blame.

- The Gabbos are
at it again, honey.

- Can you believe it?

The poor dame
stands for anything.

He's always blowing her off.

- Yeah, he blames
her for everything.

She seems like a nice dame, too.

Oh, that guy's cuckoo.

- Well, he must be, the
way he talks to that dummy

like it was another person.

- Yeah, can you beat
it, talking to a dummy?

- There must be something
wrong with his stomach.

- Stomach, nothing, there's
something wrong with his skull,

but that guy's got
a screw loose, sure.

- Well, it's none
of our business.

- And I won't stand
for it any longer.

- Oh, you won't?

- No, I won't and if you
weren't such a helpless fool,

I'd leave you so quick it
would make your head swim.

- So?

Well, let me tell you something.

I don't care when
you go, where you go

and the quicker, the better.

There's the door.

- Do you mean that?
- Yes, I mean that.

- Well, then I
guess I'd better go.

And if that's all the
appreciation you have for

someone who's always tried to
do what was right, then you

don't deserve consideration.

- Who asked you
for consideration?

I don't want anything from you.

You go.

Where could you go?

What could you do without me?

I'm the act, not you.

Everything depends on me.

- Well, I'm not depending
on you any longer.

I was getting all
right before I met you.

And remember this, I can still
sing and I can still dance.

- Go ahead, go on,
nobody's stopping you.

Why did you stay that long?

- Oh, I only stayed because I.

Oh, I don't know why I stayed.

Little Otto there is the
only human thing about you.

- Oh, you think so?

- I don't think it, I know it.

Oh, I've tried so hard
to understand you, Gabbo,

but you're impossible.

The only sweet things
you have ever said to me

have come from Otto.

I'm quitting the act tonight.

I might do better.

I know I can't do any worse.

- [laughing] What would
you do without me, huh?

Go, go on, get out.

What do I care?

- All right, Gabbo, if
that's all the two years

we've been together mean
to you, why, I'm sorry.

- Gee, that guy's been beefing
ever since he opened here.

If you think that I'm
tough to get along with,

you ought to get a load of him.

- Oh, you don't do so bad.

- Goodbye, Otto.

I'm sorry to leave you
because you're the only thing

about him that seems
to have a soul,

even though you are
only made of wood.

And if you're as great
as you think you are,

why aren't you playing
the real theaters,

doing better things?

- You mind your own business
and go as you said you would.

I'll show you.

I'll show them all, whether
I'm the Great Gabbo or not.

All right, Gabbo,
but remember this.

To get along, to succeed,
forget yourself once in a while.

Think of someone else.

Give in sometime.

And listen, we only
take out of this life

what we put into it.

Goodbye.

- Oh, Mary.

- Shut up.

You know we can't call her back.

We can't call her back.

Don't you know that?

- Hmm, she thought I
would coax her to stay.

- It looks like she's
gone this time, for good.

- What do I care?

Do I need her?

No.

Do I need anyone?

No.

She won't be far.

She'll be back.

- Not this time, Gabbo.

I don't think so.

- You don't think so?

Did I ask you?

What do you know about it?

- Shh, the girl quit the act.

She left him flat.

- Well, who is that
he's talking to now?

- The dummy again,
he always does that.

- That guy is sure nuts.

- You are not going to let
her worry you, are you?

- Worry me?

Nothing, Otto, nothing in
this world can worry me.

- Says you.

- Yeah, says me, says me.

- Huh-uh-uh.
- Aw, shut up.

- You don't need a drink, Gabbo.

- No, I didn't ask you, did I?

- You were to quick,
Gabbo, too hasty with her.

- Too hasty?

She spoiled my act.

She's a fool.

- Oh, no, you are
the fool, Gabbo.

- That's enough, Otto.

Do you want me to
put you out too?

[speaking foreign language]

- You must admit she was sweet.

- Eh.

- She helped us too.

She combed my hair, painted
my face, shined my shoes,

und now she's gone.

[speaking foreign language]

You will miss her, too.

You need her.

- No, I need no one.

- She woke you in the
morning, made your coffee,

put you to bed, put
cold cloths on your head

when you were sick,
a good girl, Gabbo.

- Will you keep quiet?

- I guess you love her, Gabbo.

♪ Und maybe a baby will
climb up on her knee ♪

♪ Und put its arms around
her, but how about me ♪

- Otto, if you don't keep
quiet, I'll smash you.

I'll destroy you so that you
never make another sound.

Do I want to listen to you?

No.

I need no one.

What can she do without me,

me, Gabbo?

She'll be sorry when she sees
my name in blazing lights,

the Great Gabbo,

the Great Gabbo.

- Says here that Fully and
Mandell are gonna split, honey.

- Yeah, well, I know another
act that's going to split

if we don't get some work soon.

- Yeah, you said it.

By the time we get a date, we
won't even remember the act.

- Well, you'll never get work
laying on that bed all day.

I can tell you that.

- Oh, will you stop?

I'm doing the best I can.

- Yeah and that's terrible.

You don't try.

Did you see in the "Variety"
where that guy, Gabbo,

was a hit in the
"Manhattan Review?"

- Yeah, can you beat that?

Why, it's not so
long ago that we

worked with him in Patterson.

That was the act that split.

Yeah, he got wise.

He worked alone.

I could do a great single
myself but that guy was cuckoo.

- Cuckoo?

Well, I wish you'd get
as cuckoo as he is.

He's on Broadway.

I'll say that for him.

- Oh, you've been handing me
that line ever since Gabbo

got in a big show.

- Say, here.

- Well, I can't help
it if they fall of.

Gabbo was a flop in Patterson.

We was a hit.

- Yeah, in Patterson but
he's make good in New York.

Try that on your piccolo.

- Yeah, and so would I
if had a break like that

and didn't have a dame
razzing me all day.

Hey, try that on your oboe.

- You'll never
get to first base.

You've got to have class.

Say, we got a chance.

Now we're laying off, let's
go and see this guy, Gabbo.

You might learn something.

- All right, all right, I want
to get a load of this Gabbo,

just for fun, but don't think
that he can learn me anything.

- Never mind, my men will
attend to everything.

[happy upbeat orchestra music]

- Isn't he the funniest
little thing you ever saw?

- Which one, the
man or the dummy?

[laughing]

So tell me, Bob,
what's the idea?

- Why, that's the Great Gabbo.

He's the star of the
"Manhattan Review."

Why, he comes here every
night with that dummy.

I think it's sort
of a publicly stunt.

- The Great Gabbo, eh?

Well, he certainly
gets plenty of service.

- I'll say.

- But they tell me he's great.

- He is, but he's a
little, uh, screwy.

Why, he talks to that thing
and he takes it seriously.

Look at him.

- Yeah, I think you're right.

- Oh, I think he's marvelous.

- Now, it's the squabs
with the sherry wines.

- Oh, yes, I hope
they are well cooked.

I don't care for myself, but
Mr. Gabbo is very particular.

- Truffles al espagnole.

- Oh, yes, the truffles,
the beautiful truffles.

- Isn't he the cutest thing?

Uncanny, the way he
makes that dummy work,

almost sounds as
though it were human.

- Yeah, he'd make
a perfect husband,

speaks only when
you pull the string.

[laughing]

- All husbands should
be like that, darling.

- Oh.
[laughing]

- Well, there's our big star
over there, showing off again.

It's a wonder he wouldn't
get wise to himself

and do his act in the theater.

- But that's part
of his contract.

Personally, I think
it's great publicity.

- Oh, that fellow
loves to do it.

He doesn't think
much of himself.

No, it's a mistake.

- But you don't understand him.

Sometimes, I actually pity him.

- You pity him?

Oh, that's funny.

There's a man completely
satisfied with himself.

Of all the egotistical
fools I have ever seen,

he is the worst.

- Oh, I know how you feel

but I know him a lot
better than you do.

You must admit he is great,

even though he does say
so, himself, the poor soul.

- Boy, you're too much for me.

Come on, are you ready?

- I'd like to sit here and
finish my coffee, dear.

You don't mind, do you?

I don't go on until almost
9:00, I have enough time.

- All right, dear, I'll
trot over to the theater.

Now, don't you
waste any sympathy

on that swell-headed nut, Gabbo.

Bye.

- Bye.

- Is everything all right, sir?

- Oh, yes, everything is great.

- Thank you.

- Except the squab should
have been shot years ago.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Everything else okay?

- Oh, yes, only the truffles,
a little like leather,

und the caviar,
let's not mention it.

Outside of that,
the dinner was good

but the coffee was terrible.

Ooh, quite a crowd, tonight.

- Yes, sir, and I think
they all came to see you.

I have a request for a song
from a party over there.

Would you oblige?

- Oh, anything for the ladies.

Tell their leader I
sing my lollipop song.

- Play "The Lollipop Song."

[upbeat orchestra music]

♪ I've always been
a gentle kind ♪

♪ Kept my temper well

♪ But there is
something on my mind ♪

♪ I simply have to tell

♪ There may be certain
ones who shout ♪

♪ You're just a dumb half-wit

♪ But my mind's made up about
one thing und this is it ♪

♪ Oh, I'd rather suck
on a lemon drop ♪

♪ Than to try my luck
with a lollipop ♪

♪ 'Cause I always
drop my lollipop ♪

♪ Und it gets all over icky

♪ Oh, it makes me sick
with the way it smears ♪

♪ And the stuff will stick
in your hair und ears ♪

♪ With the lemon bean,
I'm always clean ♪

♪ But the lollipop, oh icky

♪ I've tried und tried
but never could find ♪

♪ A lollipop that's
even halfway refined ♪

♪ So I'd rather suck
on a lemon drop ♪

♪ Than to try my luck
with a lollipop ♪

♪ 'Cause I always
drop my lollipop ♪

♪ Und it gets all over icky.

[audience applauding]

- Here is a lollipop
for you, sir.

- Thank you.

Oh, I want to whisper to you.

Would you tell the beautiful
lady in the gray dress

to come over und
have some coffee?

Und tell the orchestra to
play, "I'm in Love with You."

- Very clever.

- Gabbo would like to
have some coffee with you

at his table.

Play "I'm in Love With You."

♪ I'm in love with you

♪ In love with what you do

♪ When I look at you, dear

♪ All my dreams
come true, dear ♪

♪ I'm in love with you

- Hello, Otto.

- Hello, Mary.

Gee, I'm glad to see you.

Won't you have some
coffee with us?

- No, thank you, I just
finished my coffee.

Gabbo, caviar and lobster too.

You know what the
doctor said about that.

Oh, you're such a child.

- He forgets, Mary, but
you used to remind him.

You used to do so
much for me, too.

No one's ever combed my
hair like you, no one.

- Yes, Otto misses
you very much, Mary.

We were both very, very
happy when we met you

in this show with us again.

I think Otto would like to
have you do these things

for him again, comb
his hair, fix his tie.

Wouldn't you, Otto?

- Yes, Mary, I would love it.

Will you come to see me sometime
again in my dressing room?

- Well, maybe I will
but I won't promise.

It's getting late.

I think you'd better
go to the theater.

- Holy smoke, it is late.

Come on, Mary, you come with us.

We'll ride in our
little Rolls-Royce.

We'd love to have you with us.

We have everything now, Mary,

nice places to live
und everything.

I think I could fix it with
Gabbo if you would come.

- Be careful. [laughing]

- Isn't he charming?

Would you come with us, Mary?

- I'd be glad to, Gabbo.

♪ There is love in
the sun and moon ♪

[audience applauding]

[upbeat orchestra music]

[perky orchestra music]

♪ Something's wrong with
your sunny disposition ♪

♪ Tried to take a pill,
but it made me ill ♪

♪ Don't know what
to do, do you ♪

♪ Well, doctors know just
the cause of your condition ♪

♪ You'd better get a nurse
'cause you're getting worse ♪

♪ Ready for the hearse if
you won't listen to me. ♪

♪ Every now and then,
when you go away, ♪

♪ I want you back again,
every now and then ♪

♪ I get so lonesome too,
just because of you, ♪

♪ Every now and then

♪ Oh, gee, if you would
only spend time enough ♪

♪ To telephone a lonely friend

♪ Then you wouldn't
be just a memory, ♪

♪ Like you are to me,
every now and then ♪

♪ And when the bird
is in the swing ♪

♪ Start to chirp and sing

♪ It doesn't mean a thing

♪ You know the song I want
to sing is a sweeter thing ♪

♪ About a wedding ring

♪ And you always ask
me all the time ♪

♪ All about a lot of
wedding bells that chime ♪

♪ I will make you mine,
then you can't pretend ♪

♪ That I'm just a friend
every now and then ♪

♪ Every now and then
when you go away, ♪

♪ I want you back again

♪ Every now and then,
I get so lonely too, ♪

♪ Just because of you,
every now and then ♪

♪ If you'd only spend
time enough to telephone ♪

♪ A lonely friend

♪ Then you wouldn't
be just a memory, ♪

♪ Like you are to me,
every now and then ♪

♪ And when the bird
is in the swing ♪

♪ Start to chirp and sing,
it doesn't mean a thing ♪

♪ You know the song I want to
sing is the sweetest thing ♪

♪ About a wedding ring

♪ You always ask
me all the time ♪

♪ All about a lot of
wedding bells and chimes ♪

♪ I will make you mine,
then you can't pretend ♪

♪ That I'm just a friend,
every now and then ♪

♪ Every now and then when you
go away I want you back again ♪

♪ Every now and then,
every now and then, ♪

♪ Every now and then,
every now and then, ♪

♪ Every now and then,
every now and then ♪

♪ Every now and then,
every now and then ♪

♪ And when the bird
is in the swing ♪

♪ Start to chirp and sing,
it doesn't mean a thing ♪

♪ You know the song I want to
sing is the sweetest thing ♪

♪ About a wedding ring

♪ You always ask
me all the time ♪

♪ All about a lot of
wedding bells and chimes ♪

♪ I will make you mine,
then you can't pretend ♪

♪ That I'm just a friend,
every now and then ♪

[upbeat singing and
orchestra music]

[upbeat orchestra music]

[audience applauding]

[knocking on door]
- Mary, it's Frank.

Can I come in?

- Come on in.

- Hmm, Gabbo, eh?

Did you drive to the
theater with him?

Certainly, there's no
harm in that, is there?

- No, but I don't like it.

I don't want you to
have anything to do

with that swell-headed nut,
kissing your hand, bowing down,

clicking his heels, and
all that imported baloney.

- [chuckling] Well,
he's clever enough to be

the star of the show, I'll
say that much for him.

- Yeah, well, I don't
care what he is.

I don't want you to have
anything to do with him.

- Don't be silly.

He's all right.

- Yeah?

Well, I don't think so.

Well, did he send these, too?

- Uh-huh.

- Oh, for the love of Mike.

Gabbo, Gabbo.

You don't see me running around
with other girls, do you?

Mary, I tell you it's all wrong.

- Oh, Frank, you're all
excited over nothing.

He merely drove me over
in his Rolls-Royce.

I thought it was
very nice of him.

- Yeah, well, I don't.

- Perhaps not, but maybe
I like Rolls-Royces.

He, uh, asked me to go to
supper with him tonight.

- Well, you're not
going, are you?

- Oh, I don't know.

I haven't given
him an answer yet.

Well, I'll give him
his answer for you

and the answer is,
you're not going.

- Oh, don't be foolish.

Don't get excited over nothing.

Go to your dressing room and
get ready for the next number.

- Well tell me, are
you going or not?

- I tell you, Frank, you'd
better go and get ready

or you'll be late.

- Well, you'd better
not go with him

and that's all there is to it.

♪ Da-da

- Oh, for the love of.

[humming]

♪ It's all over icky

- I suppose, Louis,
you have a sweetheart?

We all must have romance.

[speaking foreign language]

That's just it.
[speaking foreign language]

That's what they want.

I know how it is.
[speaking foreign language]

We only get out of life
what we put into it.

[speaking foreign language]

Louis, here.

[speaking foreign language]

[knocking on door]

- [Man] You'll have
to hurry, Mr. Gabbo.

You're on next and the
orchestra is playing your music.

- I don't care,
I'm not ready yet.

I'll come there
as soon as I can.

Tell them to play it over
and over and over again!

It's all your fault.

I'm supposed to be on the stage

and you're still fumbling
around with the shoes.

Whoever told you
you were a dresser?

Gloves.

Cape.

Getting sick and tired of it.

No, I don't want to put it on.

I don't want to
ever see you again!

Get out!

- Oh, Louis.

Where are you going?

- I'm going home, madame.

Mr. Gabbo is too much
for me to handle.

- Oh, please, don't go, Louis.

I know that he's awfully
hard to understand

but be a little
patient with him.

You know, he's very nervous.

- Yes, he's fine when
he thinks he's Otto.

- Oh, yes, I know,
but don't go, please.

- Well, I will stay, madam.

- Oh, thank you, Louis.

[dramatic orchestra music]

[audience applauding]

- Ladies and gentlemen, I
have the privilege to appear

before you in what I might
call, with all due modesty,

the greatest ventriloquial
exhibition of all times.

I've had the great honor to
appear before all crowned heads

of Europe by royal command.

May I present to you, Otto,
the famous Otto, my other half.

- Half?

How you get like this?

3/4, you mean.

- Otto, I think you are
entirely too modest.

- Well, I'm right.

I'm the act, not you.

Everything depends on me.

- Say, by the way, Otto,
why were you late today?

- I went to the dentist.

- Oh, does the tooth still hurt?

- I don't know.

He didn't give it back to me.

Ha, ha, ha, how comical.

- Uh, how is your little,
uh, baby brother, Otto?

- Oh, he makes me so mad.

He cries und cries und cries.

- You know, Otto, I think that
child is absolutely spoiled.

- Oh, no, they all
smell that way.

[audience laughing]

- Otto, little boys should
be seen but not heard.

You better keep quiet.

- I will if you let me.

A song written for me, especial.

♪ I get by as long
as I have you ♪

Oh, what a wise crack.

- Otto, what
nationality are you?

- My nationality?

Oh, we have a fine family tree.

My mother, she comes
from cedar house.

My father was a pole, und I'm
a chip from the old block.

Marvelous, should make screams
of laughter or what have you.

[audience laughing]

Is that your husband
or your boyfriend?

[audience laughing]

- Otto, how often did I
tell you not to be so fresh?

Now, don't let
that happen again.

- Oh, he blames me for
everything, he blames me.

- Just for that now, you can't
sit any longer on my knee.

Do you understand?

- Suits me all right.

I have sit on much better knee.

Are you wise to that?

- Now, all I want out
of you is silence.

And very little of that.

- Oh, yeah?

If I keep quiet, we
both starve to death.

Put that in your
smoke and pipe it.

- You keep quiet and I won't
tell you again about it.

- Suits me.

[yodeling]

[audience applauding]

Last year, he used to
swallow a tablecloth.

Hello, kid.

How well you fixed
for steady company?

[audience laughing]

- That's enough.

If I were you, I'd keep quiet.

- All right, shut up.

- What's that?

- You said if you were me
you'd keep quiet so shut up.

You are me.

Oh, the kid's clever.

[upbeat orchestra music]

♪ Though it rains and
snows on the slopes ♪

♪ Ha ha ha, he he he

♪ Ho ho ho, I'm laughing

♪ Though I owe the rent
und my dough's all spent ♪

♪ Und my best gal
said, so long ♪

♪ Ha ha ha, he he he

♪ Ho ho ho, I'm laughing

♪ Every little rain drop
makes the grass grow green ♪

♪ Laughing makes the pain stop

♪ For every laugh,
I found a sunbeam ♪

♪ If you fret when
the Welt's all wet ♪

♪ Don't forget
this little song ♪

♪ Ha ha ha, he he he

♪ Ho ho ho, I'm laughing

[audience applauding]

- Say, where do come in?

I could hide some hot
dogs without any trouble.

- You said I was you, so I'm
eating enough for both of us.

- Well, then, I hope I have
a pain in your stomach.

[audience applauding]

- What are you doing
in his dressing room?

- Oh, nothing, nothing at all.

I was just passing by and
everything looked so upset

I thought I'd straighten
things up a little.

- What for?

Why should you bother about him?

What's the big idea, Mary?

- Oh, nothing, you wouldn't
understand, anyway.

- Oh, wouldn't I?

I guess you think I'm a boob.

I suppose you're
going to tell me

that you're still sorry for him.

- I don't believe I'll
tell you anything at all.

- Yeah, well, I'll
tell him something

if he doesn't stay
away from you.

- Oh, don't say
anything, please.

- On stage for "I'm in
Love With You" number.

On stage, please.

- You ought to let the
Great Gabbo do that number.

- Oh, don't be silly.

[feet tapping]
[giggling]

[dramatic orchestra music]

♪ I have tried to keep
my secret from you ♪

♪ Is there something
you would like to say ♪

♪ Why am I so happy

♪ I'll bet I can guess

♪ It is just the sorry
old that I must confess ♪

♪ I'm in love with you

♪ Say that again, please do

♪ I love every little
thing that you say ♪

♪ Since I came your way, dear,

♪ Every day is a
May Day play day. ♪

♪ Do you like my smile

♪ It makes my life worthwhile

♪ When I think of you, dear

♪ My dreams come true, dear

♪ I'm in love with you

♪ We have had to keep
our secrets from you ♪

♪ Why you boys are happy,
I could never guess. ♪

♪ It is just the sorry
old that we must confess ♪

♪ We're in love with you

♪ In love with what you do

♪ We love every little
thing that you say ♪

♪ Since I came your way, boys

♪ Every day's a
May day play day ♪

♪ Every time I smile

♪ At me, then
life's worthwhile ♪

♪ We're in love with you

♪ We're in love with you

[upbeat orchestra music]

- Oh, thanks very much.

- Well, I like that.

- I like it pretty well myself.

- Oh, yeah?

♪ I'm in love with you,
in love with what you do ♪

♪ I love every little
thing that you say ♪

♪ Since you came my way, dear

♪ Every day's a
May Day play day ♪

♪ When I see you smile at
me then life's worthwhile ♪

♪ When I look at you, dear, all
my dreams comes true, dear ♪

♪ I'm in love with you

[upbeat orchestra music]

♪ I'm in love with you,
in love with all you do ♪

♪ I love every little
thing that you say ♪

♪ Since you came my way, dear

♪ Every day's a
May Day play day ♪

♪ When I see you smile at
me then life's worthwhile ♪

♪ When I look at you, dear,
all my dreams come true, dear ♪

♪ I'm in love with you

[playful orchestra music]

♪ I'm in love with you,
in love with all you do ♪

♪ I love every little
thing that you say ♪

♪ Since you came my way, dear

♪ Every day's a
May day play day ♪

♪ When I see you smile at
me then life's worthwhile ♪

♪ When I look at you, dear,
all my dreams come true, dear ♪

♪ I'm in love with you

[audience applauding]

- Look, Otto, how nicely
everything is arranged.

You know who did it, don't you?

She did it.

You remember, Otto, how she
used to arrange things for us?

And now she's doing it again.

Look.

Mmm, not too hot
and not too cold,

just right, she
was always right.

- Maybe she is coming
back with us again?

- Maybe? [chuckling]

I am positive of it.

You know, Otto, she wanted
to show me that she could do

something without me but
now she wants to come back.

You remember I always
said, they all come back.

♪ Ha ha ha, he he he

♪ Oh oh oh, I'm laughing

Yes, Otto, now we can laugh

Everything is going
to be beautiful.

- Well, now you know how
I feel about it, anyway.

- I wish you'd try
and control yourself.

- And another thing, he never
stood in the wings before

and he never helped you down.

You must have given him
plenty of encouragement.

- Don't be ridiculous.

- Oh, I'm not ridiculous.

Everyone in the company
sees how you are acting.

- Do you think I care
if everyone sees me?

What difference does it make?

I'm not doing any harm.

- I know, but it looks bad.

- What looks bad?

Does it look bad if I talk
to the star of the show?

There isn't one of them in
the company that wouldn't be

glad if he'd even look at them.

Besides, there's a
sweet side to him

that none of them understand.

- Hmm, and you do?

- Yes, I do.

- Now, I'll tell one.

- Otto, did you hear that?

They are already
quarreling over me.

Of course, why would she
want to stick with him

when she has a chance
to come back with Gabbo?

You'll see.

We'll all be together again.

- Oh, we are sitting
on top of the world.

- Yes, Otto, we are sitting
on top of the world.

[upbeat orchestra music]

♪ Nowadays, it's the
new dance craze ♪

♪ That captivates the land

♪ It's something hot
that is played a lot ♪

♪ By every jazzy band

♪ Here is one that I know will
please you, absolutely new ♪

♪ Just listen, and I'll explain
this brand-new dance to you ♪

♪ Here we go, nice and slow

♪ Now, get busy, heel and toe

♪ It's peculiar,
it will fool you ♪

♪ To rock with this new step.

♪ First, you glide, then you
slide, run a bit, side by side ♪

♪ You'll learn it quick

♪ It's just a new
step that haunts you ♪

♪ Girls, make whoopee

♪ Boys, go goofy

♪ You will learn
it, it's romance ♪

♪ Be up to date, don't be
late now and hesitate. ♪

♪ Gee but it's nice when
you say, take that ♪

[upbeat orchestra music]
[shoes tapping]

[upbeat singing and
orchestra music]

[audience applauding]

- Hello, hello, is this Phillip?

Yeah, yeah, this is Gabbo.

Yeah, wie geht's?

Listen Phillip, I want you to
fix a little supper for three

after the show, yeah,
no, not downstairs,

in one of the little, private
rooms upstairs, uh-huh.

There will be myself and
Otto and a lady, uh-huh.

Yeah, the same one you
saw at dinner, uh-huh.

Listen, Phillip, uh, I
want beautiful flowers

and, uh, candles.

She loves that, uh-huh.

And I want you to arrange
the personally, understand?

Everything must be
the very best, yeah.

Well, uh, oh, I'd say hors
d'oeuvre, some caviar.

Not for me, but she likes it.

You know, Otto, she
remembered that caviar

and lobster does
not agree with me.

Uh and Phillip, boneless
squab cooked in coconut.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, that's it, mm-hmm.

And, uh, hearts of palm tree
salad a la vinaigrette, yeah,

and listen, Phillip, a bottle
of Veuve Clicquot, extra dry,

very cold, yeah.

I'll leave it all
to you, Phillip.

Oh, about, uh, I'd say
a quarter of 12:00.

Yeah, mm-hmm, all right.

Auf Wiedersehen.

[dramatic orchestra music]

♪ There's a story, very
old, of a spider, very old ♪

♪ And the timid, little,
creeping, little fly ♪

♪ I don't believe
in love divine ♪

♪ I've had them one
too many times ♪

♪ But anything with
you can be divine ♪

♪ It's just another version
of a fairy tale, that's true ♪

♪ Let me be the spider and
the fly, a girl like you ♪

♪ When you're caught
in the web of love ♪

♪ There is nothing
that you can do ♪

♪ Somebody's arms so
tightly wrapped around you ♪

♪ Somebody's lips to say,
I'm glad I found you ♪

♪ There is joy in
each warm caress ♪

♪ Girl and boy find
their happiness ♪

♪ Blue skies above you

♪ They know I love you

♪ When you're caught
in the web of love ♪

[audience applauding]

[sweeping orchestra music]

- We might as well settle
this thing right now

and save a lot of trouble.

♪ When you're caught
in the web of love ♪

♪ There is nothing
that you can do ♪

♪ Somebody's arms so
tightly wrapped around you ♪

♪ Somebody's lips to say,
I'm glad I found you ♪

♪ There is joy in
each warm caress ♪

♪ Girl and boy find
their happiness ♪

♪ Blue skies above you,
you know I love you ♪

♪ When you're
caught in the web ♪

- What do you mean, you'll
save a lot of trouble?

♪ Of love

[pleasant orchestra music]

Don't be silly.

Nobody in the show
knows about it.

- Well, he's going to know
because I'm going to tell him.

- Please, don't do
anything, I'll tell him.

- All right, but if you
don't tell him, I will.

♪ There is joy in
each warm caress ♪

♪ When girl and boy
find their happiness ♪

♪ Blue skies above you

♪ They know I love you

♪ When you're caught
in the web of love ♪

[audience applauding]

[chatting]

- Oh, that's great.

- It looks very good
and very reasonable.

- Really?

Oh, where'd you get it?

- Sides eight down here,
it's really reasonable.

- Oh, really?

- Don't tell me the
king talked to us.

- It must be his birthday.

- And did you notice, he
changed his brand of perfume.

[laughing]

- That's very funny.

[upbeat orchestra music]

[shoes tapping]

[audience applauding]

- There you are.

Your little nose
was all scratched.

I think you've been neglected.

- You are the sweetest
girl that I know.

[laughing]

- Did you find the flowers
in the dressing room?

- Oh, Gabbo, they
were beautiful.

- Mary, why don't you ask
me what the flowers are for?

- All right, Mr. Bones,
what are the flowers for?

- Sort of an anniversary.

It's just two years
today that you've left us

and it's two years too long.

You know, looks quite
natural to find you in here,

combing Otto's hair,
fixing him up so nice.

- His little nose
was all scratched

and his hair was all mussed.

He looked kinda lonesome.

- Yes, but he doesn't know
how it feels to be lonesome.

I know how it feels to be alone

and lonesome.

- That doesn't sound
at all like you, Gabbo.

- I know it doesn't, but
things are different now.

Things have changed.

I've changed, too.

We all make mistakes.

The Lord knows I've made
mine but I realized it.

I never knew how
much you meant to us

until you had gone away.

Mary, we missed you very much.

Did you miss us, too?

- I missed Otto.

- Only Otto?

Didn't you miss anybody else?

I know you missed
Otto because he,

he always said
nice things to you.

- Yes, Otto was always sweet.

- Mary, two years ago, that
night when you left us,

you said to me, we only get out
of life what we put into it.

No one knows that
now more than I do.

I know I was selfish.

But I was anxious to get
to the top and I did.

Now, I am the Great Gabbo.

I have my success.

- Uh-oh, better knock wood.

- Oh, that's all
foolishness, knocking wood

and going under ladders
and black cats crossing.

We make our own bad luck.

[chuckling]

Yes, I have my success,

but what good is success

if we can't share it with
someone you care for?

And that's what I want to do.

Mary, I have arranged
a little supper party

after the show
over at Phillip's,

just myself and you and Otto.

I want to tell you all the
things that have been on my mind

since that night when you left.

- I'm afraid I can't go,
Gabbo, I have other plans.

- But don't you think
I've made plans, too?

Big plans, plans for the
future, plans for both of us.

It will be the Great Gabbo

and,

and you.

- But that's impossible, Gabbo.

You can't make any
plans concerning me.

Oh, I should've told you before.

- Oh, that boy? [chuckling]

He means nothing, Mary.

- Oh, yes, he does.

- [chuckling] Not to me.

- He means everything to me.

We're married.

- Married?

- Yes.
- You're not!

- Well, I am.

I said he means everything
to me and I mean everything.

He loves me, and I love him.

That's all there is to it.

Oh, Gabbo, I'm sorry.

It's time for the finale.

You'd better hurry
or you'll be late.

Don't hurt your little
nose again, Otto.

I love you.

I always have and I
think I always will.

- Otto, did you
hear what she said?

She is married.

She loves him.

He means everything to her.

She said, I'm sorry, Gabbo.

Sorry for me?

Sorry for Gabbo?

- Well, I told him.

- What did he say?

- Well, there was very
little to be said.

I told him we were married

and that I love you and I do.

The reason I didn't tell
him before is because

two years ago, we were-

- I know all about that, honey.

- Oh, you do?

- Mmm-hmm, and that's
what why I thought it was,

I wanted him to know
we were married.

I thought it was best that way.

Don't you, honey?

- Oh, it was the
only the thing to do.

You know, Frank, I don't
think I knew my own mind,

and I think it's only
fair that I tell you that

I married you to
get away from him.

Oh, I'm sorry if that hurt you,

but I didn't know whether
I loved you or not.

But I do now, honest I do,

and what has happened

made me realize
it more than ever.

I haven't been very
sweet to you tonight

but if you'll forget
about it and forgive me

you'll never be sorry,
honest you won't.

What do you say, huh?

- I say, you're
all right, honey,

and if you don't stop
this you'll have me

so choked up I won't
be able to sing.

- [Man] On stage for the finale.

- Beat it, beat, beat it, honey,

or I'll be doing a manly song.

- On stage for the finale.

- You heard it,
Otto, the finale.

But they can't have
a finale without me!

Can they?

No, let them wait.

Let them play it over
and over and over again.

The public can wait.

I don't care.

They must wait for
the Great Gabbo.

- On stage for the finale.

On stage for the finale.

On stage for the finale.

- Go on, go ahead
with your finale.

What do I care?

She loves him.

She didn't even
say goodbye to me,

only to you,

you stupid, wooden dummy.

Oh, I'm sorry, Otto.

I'm so sorry.

- All right, up for the finale.

Finale!

Finale!

[people talking]

On stage for the finale.

[distant orchestra music]

- Stop it.

Stop that music.

- [Man] Finale!

- Stop it!

- [Man] Finale!

[upbeat orchestra music]

- Stop it!

Stop it!

- [Man] On stage for the finale!

- [Mary] I'm sorry darling.

- Stop it!

[upbeat orchestra music]

- [Man] On stage for the finale!

- Stop that music.

[voices calling]
[man singing]

[upbeat orchestra music]
[chorus singing]

♪ When you're caught
in the web of love ♪

♪ There is nothing
that you can do ♪

♪ Blue skies above you,
they know I love you ♪

♪ When you're caught
in the web of love ♪

♪ Love, love, love

- Everybody, here I
am, The Great Gabbo!

[upbeat orchestra music]
[chorus singing]

Gabbo, there can't be
a show without Gabbo!

You don't know how to laugh.

You don't know.

There isn't one of you
that knows how to laugh.

♪ Every now and then

You don't know how to
laugh and you don't know.

Every one of you doesn't
know how to laugh.

You don't know how to laugh.
[chorus singing]

And you don't know how to laugh.

♪ Every now and then

Otto, you show 'em how to laugh.

Come on, show us.

You can't laugh, either.

♪ I'm in love with you
I can laugh.

I know I can laugh.

♪ I'm in love with what you do

I know I can laugh.

I know how.
[laughing]

♪ I'm in love with you

[chorus singing]
[shoes tapping]

- What's the matter with you?

Do you realize what
you've done, Gabbo?

You ruined the entire finale
and you won't do it again.

I won't have my
show ruined by you.

Every performance,
it's something else.

You've got to get out.

- What do I care for your show?

Would you have a show
without the Great Gabbo?

All right, I'll quit. [laughing]

Otto, he thinks he's going
to have a show without Gabbo.

[laughing]

I'm laughing.

[people talking]

- Quiet, please.

To your dressing rooms,
now, go on, move on.

Quickly, now, move along.

I think the man's crazy.

- I think I can play
it if I go in there.

- You'll do nothing of the kind.

- Please, go to
your dressing rooms.

- Frank, I just saw him
pass the dressing room

and he's completely gone.

- Well, do you think
you can really help him?

- Oh, I think I can.

- All right, honey, go speak
to him and see what you can do.

- Oh, gee, you're sweet.

Gabbo.

Gabbo.

Take care of him, Louis.

Don't leave him alone.

- Yes, madam, I'll take
care of him, don't worry.

- Well, there you are.

That's the Great Gabbo for
you, grabbed the entire finale.

Did you ever see anyone
act as loony as that guy?

- Yeah, there certainly
was something wrong.

- Something wrong?

I'll say there was
something wrong

and you thought he could
learn me something.

I told you that guy
was goofy long ago,

but Broadway was
too much for him.

He got the swelled
head and it exploded.

Yeah, well, he's got one
thing to be thankful for.

All he's got for a
partner is a dummy.

- Yeah, me and him, both.

Ow, lay off that stuff, will ya?

- Well, don't you
call me no dummy,

or you'll get a chance
to do that single

you've been talking
so much about.

[upbeat orchestra music]