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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Who wants fresh-baked banana bread?
2
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Oh, oh. Me, me, me, me.
3
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- Smells great, Dave.
- DAVE: Oh, yeah,
4
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it's Steve's secret recipe.
5
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Oh. Who's Steve?
6
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Oh, he's my mom's special friend.
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He would make it for me
whenever he and my mom
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went upstairs to do their taxes.
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How often would they do their taxes?
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I don't know, a couple times a week.
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Does he know that...
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Do you really
want to pull that thread?
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Calvin, as soon as
I got my oven fixed,
14
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this was the first thing I made.
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Oh. Well, what was wrong with it?
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No idea. Man came over, went
straight to the breaker box,
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worked his magic, and
now we're eating banana bread.
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It wasn't magic, Dave.
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Did you really just pay somebody
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to flip your circuit breaker?
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No.
22
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It was free, with the protection
plan that I bought.
23
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Oh, so it wasn't free.
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It's actually $250 a year.
25
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That's very not free.
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Well, it was free today.
27
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And it gives me peace of mind.
28
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Look, I always check the box
for the extended warranty.
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[LAUGHS] See?
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That's how they get you.
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I don't check any of those boxes.
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As soon as that cashier
turns that screen towards me,
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I turn it right back on her.
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And I tell her,
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"I ain't the one."
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[LAUGHS]
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Speaking of "one,"
that's your last one.
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Well, look,
if you don't check the box,
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you just end up paying a man.
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Dave, you are the man.
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Right, but a real man
knows how to delegate.
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Right, Gemma?
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Absolutely.
44
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Although I got to say,
growing up in Hickory Corners,
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my grandpa fixed
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- everything himself.
- Yep.
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He put a new roof
on the barn when he was 82.
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Gemma, he fell to his death.
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With a hammer in his hand.
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That's how a real man goes out.
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♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
52
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♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
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Malcolm, I can't read
the draft of your book
54
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- with you staring at me.
- Okay, my bad.
55
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I can feel your eyes.
56
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Okay, here's Daphne,
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fresh out of the bath.
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Thank you, Mrs. B.
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Oh, she is slippery.
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She's slippery, Marty.
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Oh. Uh, Mom, remember,
we said we only want to use
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water-based products on Daphne,
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so no Vaseline.
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Oh, everybody knows
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babies should be greasy.
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Ah, yes, that common phrase.
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Uh, what happened to the outfit
that I laid out for her?
68
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Oh, you wanted her in that thing?
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It was a gift from my grandma.
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Oh. Oh, let me check the rag box.
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I'm gonna go try to degrease her.
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Whoa, she is like an eel.
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Ah, that's crazy, huh? [CLEARS THROAT]
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Can you get back to my book, please?
75
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I'm sorry, Marty,
I'm just anxious to know
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if I'm capturing
the romance novel vibe.
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Okay, okay, okay.
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[MUTTERS]
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"Derek grasped her heaving bosom."
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What's wrong?
81
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Well, "bosom." And "heaving."
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And I don't love "grasped."
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It's a romance novel, Marty.
It's supposed to be seductive.
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Yeah, well, I'm not feeling seduced.
85
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I'm not trying to seduce you.
86
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Then why'd you ask me to read it?
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Because I wanted your opinion.
88
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This could have been an email.
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Oh, man.
90
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These books are just not
in my wheelhouse, you know?
91
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I wish I knew somebody who read them
92
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who could be my, uh,
my smut consultant.
93
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Well, we could get
Mama back up in here.
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- Mama!
- No, no, no, Mama. No.
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Anyone else.
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Gemma.
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You think so?
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She does love those books.
99
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Remember when she was reading
Pride and Prejudice,
100
00:04:01,218 --> 00:04:02,326
and then the fake cover slipped off
101
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and it was Fifty Shades of Grey?
102
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Yeah. [LAUGHS]
Yeah, she was all, like,
103
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"How did that get in here?"
104
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Yeah, and then she ran away
screaming, "Don't judge me!"
105
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In case you're wondering who's
gonna hook this baby up, uh,
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you're looking at him. A real man.
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Congratulations.
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You know, I spent all night
109
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watching how-to videos on YouTube,
110
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and, uh, I got this.
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Whoa, whoa. Uh, exc... [CHUCKLES]
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Bathroom is in the house, my friend.
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Yeah, I imagine so.
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Uh, excuse me. Uh, so,
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are you not gonna bring it in?
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Oh.
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Nah.
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You just signed up
for standard delivery.
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That means that
I leave this on the premises,
120
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and your lawn is the premises.
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If you wanted it
brought into the house,
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you should have checked the box
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for white-glove service.
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But, uh... [CLEARS THROAT]
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My friend says those boxes are, uh...
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[CLICKS TONGUE] how they get you.
127
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Well, you didn't get got.
128
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Have a nice day.
129
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Well, hold on. D-Don't go.
130
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Ca... Can I check the box now?
131
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Nah, you have to do it
at the time of the purchase.
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Have a nice day.
133
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I am not going to have a nice day.
134
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Yeah, yeah.
135
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Oh, hey.
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Oh, she's still a little greasy.
137
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I know.
138
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There she is. There's my little
139
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everything. Yeah. Oh.
140
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Hi. You want to know
what Gamma got you?
141
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Is that a dress? Oh, yes, it is.
142
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Oh, wow. So I see.
143
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So many colors.
144
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Right?
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You know what would
make that outfit pop?
146
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Earrings. When are you
getting her ears pierced?
147
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Not sure yet, but not right now.
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Aw, she would look so cute.
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Yeah. She would.
150
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So?
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00:06:05,255 --> 00:06:06,778
You know what it is?
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I just... I get a little squeamish
153
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when it comes to piercings.
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But thanks
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so much for the dress. Love.
156
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Well, I'm
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glad you like it. I bought her
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a sweater with the exact same pattern.
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Can't wait to see it.
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Okay, now.
161
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I hate lying to your mom.
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Yeah, I know, that dress looks like
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someone threw up a box of crayons.
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And the whole piercing thing.
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I really feel like we need to
wait until Daphne is old enough
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to make that choice for herself.
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Totally agree.
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But it would be
so hard to tell your mom that.
169
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Totally agree.
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So, how do you do it?
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Do what?
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Disagree with her.
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Oh. No, I don't. I don't.
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I learned that years ago.
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Come on.
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No, it's true. Really.
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00:06:56,175 --> 00:06:57,805
I used to think
my favorite color was blue,
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but then my mom told me it was green,
179
00:06:59,657 --> 00:07:01,442
and it turns out she was right.
180
00:07:06,925 --> 00:07:09,493
"Mayday, Mayday, this is not a drill"?
181
00:07:09,624 --> 00:07:11,277
What do you need, Dave?
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Just a quick favor.
I need you to help me
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pop that bad boy into the house.
184
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That bad boy is a bathtub.
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Why didn't you have
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the delivery guys do it?
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00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,202
Well, I didn't choose
the white-glove service
188
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:25,204
because the little Calvin
on my shoulder
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00:07:25,335 --> 00:07:28,077
told me not to check any boxes.
190
00:07:28,207 --> 00:07:31,472
Well, regular-size Calvin
says you're an idiot.
191
00:07:33,430 --> 00:07:36,215
You don't check the box
for loyalty service,
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00:07:36,346 --> 00:07:39,131
you don't check the box
for travel protection,
193
00:07:39,262 --> 00:07:42,570
but you always check the box
for white-glove service.
194
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Especially for stuff
195
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as big as a bathtub.
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Including a bathtub.
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Everybody knows that.
198
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:50,926
Well, I didn't know that. Look,
199
00:07:51,056 --> 00:07:53,276
Calvin, please, I can't have Gemma
200
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,036
come home and see
that I couldn't do this.
201
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:56,647
How am I supposed to feel
like the man of the house
202
00:07:56,671 --> 00:07:58,934
if I can't even be a man?
203
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,900
You knew that was gonna
get me, didn't you?
204
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,376
You knew it.
205
00:08:07,551 --> 00:08:09,727
Come on, Dave. I mean, a bathtub?
206
00:08:09,858 --> 00:08:11,729
Well, maybe you're right.
207
00:08:12,556 --> 00:08:14,906
Guess I'm not gonna die
like Gemma's grandpa.
208
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:16,473
Probably die like my grandpa,
209
00:08:16,604 --> 00:08:17,866
at a puppet show.
210
00:08:22,131 --> 00:08:23,611
I got so many questions.
211
00:08:23,741 --> 00:08:25,134
- Uh...
- I...
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00:08:26,570 --> 00:08:28,964
All right. Come on, I'll help you.
213
00:08:29,094 --> 00:08:31,053
Okay. Calvin, thank you.
214
00:08:32,228 --> 00:08:33,316
And I'll tell you what.
215
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:35,797
Once this bad boy is in,
216
00:08:35,927 --> 00:08:39,322
you get the honor
of taking the very first bath.
217
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:42,194
Dave, this will be the last time
218
00:08:42,325 --> 00:08:44,806
that I ever touch your bathtub.
219
00:08:45,850 --> 00:08:46,851
Come on.
220
00:08:52,117 --> 00:08:54,642
Calvin, these buddy straps
were a great investment.
221
00:08:54,772 --> 00:08:57,166
Instead of spending
$95 on white-glove service,
222
00:08:57,296 --> 00:08:59,429
I spent 60 on these straps,
223
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:02,040
and I get
to keep them forever. Calvin,
224
00:09:02,171 --> 00:09:03,520
imagine the things we can lift.
225
00:09:03,651 --> 00:09:05,000
Yeah, let's just
226
00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:06,479
get this up the stairs, Dave.
227
00:09:06,610 --> 00:09:08,960
Okay, now, Calvin,
remember, lift with your legs.
228
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,180
I've lifted things before.
229
00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:13,312
Here we go. One, two, three,
230
00:09:13,443 --> 00:09:14,531
- lift.
- Yep.
231
00:09:14,662 --> 00:09:16,707
- Yep. Okay. All right.
- Okay. All right.
232
00:09:16,838 --> 00:09:19,057
I think we got it. Here we go.
233
00:09:19,188 --> 00:09:21,712
Right foot, left foot,
right foot, left foot.
234
00:09:21,843 --> 00:09:23,453
We're doing it. Right foot, left foot.
235
00:09:23,584 --> 00:09:24,846
Right foot, left foot.
236
00:09:24,976 --> 00:09:26,282
Yeah, I know how to walk, Dave.
237
00:09:30,155 --> 00:09:31,896
"Heaving bosom?"
238
00:09:32,027 --> 00:09:33,811
I am taking that part out.
239
00:09:33,942 --> 00:09:36,118
- I would.
- I am.
240
00:09:36,248 --> 00:09:37,922
- Because that's a really old...
- I'm taking it out, Gemma!
241
00:09:37,946 --> 00:09:39,034
Okay? It's gone.
242
00:09:40,992 --> 00:09:42,646
Look, here's the thing, Malcolm.
243
00:09:42,777 --> 00:09:44,909
You're a terrific writer.
244
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,608
But the intimate moments?
245
00:09:47,738 --> 00:09:49,566
They're lacking a certain...
246
00:09:50,611 --> 00:09:52,003
[PURRS, CHUCKLES]
247
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,633
Well, can you help me out?
I don't know,
248
00:09:53,657 --> 00:09:54,745
give me an example of-of...
249
00:09:54,876 --> 00:09:55,964
- Yes.
- Oh.
250
00:09:57,269 --> 00:09:59,228
Okay, and you
highlighted passages for me.
251
00:09:59,358 --> 00:10:01,273
Yeah. For you.
252
00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:05,103
Okay, look at this one.
253
00:10:05,234 --> 00:10:07,628
"His hand traced her softness,
254
00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:09,499
"claiming her body with every breath.
255
00:10:09,630 --> 00:10:11,762
"She trembled like a fawn
256
00:10:11,893 --> 00:10:13,808
in the path of his undeniable ardor."
257
00:10:17,594 --> 00:10:20,597
Okay. So-so-so,
you're saying that's...
258
00:10:20,728 --> 00:10:21,990
[PURRS]
259
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,731
Oh, yeah.
260
00:10:23,861 --> 00:10:25,558
Okay, here.
Here's another good example.
261
00:10:25,689 --> 00:10:27,169
[CLEARS THROAT] Mm-hmm.
262
00:10:28,431 --> 00:10:29,737
Uh, Gemma,
263
00:10:29,867 --> 00:10:32,000
this is a biography of Steve Jobs.
264
00:10:33,088 --> 00:10:34,350
No, it's not.
265
00:10:36,961 --> 00:10:38,321
Calvin, slow down. You're pushing.
266
00:10:38,441 --> 00:10:39,679
I'm not pushing. You're pulling.
267
00:10:39,703 --> 00:10:41,289
Well, I can't see.
You're my eyes, Calvin.
268
00:10:41,313 --> 00:10:42,464
- I don't know where I'm going.
- I've got the heavy end, Dave.
269
00:10:42,488 --> 00:10:43,881
Lift up. You watch it...
270
00:10:43,906 --> 00:10:45,032
- You're pushing me into the door.
- I am not.
271
00:10:45,056 --> 00:10:46,512
I'm gonna die! Okay, down, down, down!
272
00:10:46,536 --> 00:10:48,059
What, what, what, what?
273
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:50,192
Okay. That wasn't so hard.
274
00:10:52,542 --> 00:10:53,978
It's not gonna fit.
275
00:10:54,109 --> 00:10:56,546
Calvin, yes, it will.
276
00:10:56,677 --> 00:10:58,197
No, it's too wide. It's not gonna fit.
277
00:10:58,243 --> 00:11:00,376
We won't know unless we try.
278
00:11:00,506 --> 00:11:01,943
Well, my eyes know.
279
00:11:02,073 --> 00:11:04,902
Let's just try,
and then we'll know for sure.
280
00:11:05,033 --> 00:11:06,774
Okay? One, two, three,
281
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:07,862
lift. All right.
282
00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:10,734
Okay.
283
00:11:10,865 --> 00:11:12,127
And now we know.
284
00:11:15,565 --> 00:11:16,740
Hey.
285
00:11:16,871 --> 00:11:19,090
[GASPS] Oh, hey!
286
00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:20,831
There's my Daphne.
287
00:11:20,856 --> 00:11:21,862
Thank you, Mama.
288
00:11:21,963 --> 00:11:23,635
Doesn't she look pretty?
289
00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:24,662
Well, yeah, she always looks pretty.
290
00:11:24,686 --> 00:11:25,692
Mm-hmm.
291
00:11:25,793 --> 00:11:27,316
Doesn't she look
292
00:11:27,446 --> 00:11:29,710
extra pretty?
293
00:11:30,972 --> 00:11:32,060
God, no!
294
00:11:34,715 --> 00:11:36,368
You got her ears pierced?
295
00:11:36,499 --> 00:11:38,806
Yeah. Don't worry, I did a video.
296
00:11:38,936 --> 00:11:40,895
She was crying. It was so cute.
297
00:11:42,287 --> 00:11:43,985
Mom, Courtney's gonna flip out.
298
00:11:44,115 --> 00:11:46,727
Wait, why? She just told me
that she was too squeamish
299
00:11:46,857 --> 00:11:49,425
to take Daphne herself.
This is what good grandmas do.
300
00:11:49,555 --> 00:11:51,470
That is what she said.
301
00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:53,927
The truth is, she wanted to wait
until Daphne was old enough
302
00:11:53,951 --> 00:11:55,344
to make the decision for herself.
303
00:11:55,474 --> 00:11:57,563
What? Wait, wait, wait.
I don't understand.
304
00:11:57,694 --> 00:11:59,827
Like, why wouldn't she
just be honest with me?
305
00:11:59,957 --> 00:12:01,263
I can take it.
306
00:12:01,393 --> 00:12:03,439
I'm the most easygoing person
in the world.
307
00:12:04,614 --> 00:12:06,485
- Oh, my God.
- [CHUCKLES]
308
00:12:06,616 --> 00:12:09,619
Look, I know you think that,
309
00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:11,490
but sometimes you can be a little...
310
00:12:11,621 --> 00:12:12,927
A little what, Marty?
311
00:12:16,017 --> 00:12:18,628
Go ahead, spit it out.
You think I'm pushy?
312
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:23,024
That's... that's what Malcolm says.
313
00:12:25,156 --> 00:12:26,549
Okay, good.
314
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,483
You've got Serafina
and Derek in the boathouse.
315
00:12:28,507 --> 00:12:29,857
- It's go time.
- Yeah.
316
00:12:29,987 --> 00:12:31,206
All right. [LAUGHS]
317
00:12:31,336 --> 00:12:33,295
How do they go?
318
00:12:35,514 --> 00:12:37,125
They just go.
She throws him on the bed.
319
00:12:37,255 --> 00:12:39,257
Yeah, but there's
no bed in the boathouse.
320
00:12:39,388 --> 00:12:40,495
Then she throws him in a boat.
321
00:12:40,519 --> 00:12:42,391
[GROANS]
322
00:12:43,261 --> 00:12:45,829
Gemma, you've been telling me
to slow things down.
323
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,397
Yes, Malcolm, but now
you've got them ready.
324
00:12:48,527 --> 00:12:50,791
Derek has been watching Serafina
325
00:12:50,921 --> 00:12:53,228
put on her suntan lotion
on the veranda.
326
00:12:53,358 --> 00:12:56,666
She admired his muscles when
he hauled in his crab traps.
327
00:12:56,797 --> 00:12:58,450
And she has needs.
328
00:12:58,581 --> 00:12:59,950
Reginald hasn't touched her in weeks.
329
00:12:59,974 --> 00:13:01,453
I mean, this-this is
330
00:13:01,584 --> 00:13:03,978
a-a pressure cooker
that's about to explode.
331
00:13:04,108 --> 00:13:06,850
Yeah. Okay. Uh... [CLEARS THROAT]
332
00:13:06,981 --> 00:13:09,679
"Serafina clawed hungrily
333
00:13:09,810 --> 00:13:12,029
"at Derek's belt.
334
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,726
"She pushed him down
335
00:13:13,857 --> 00:13:16,468
"in the dirty dinghy.
336
00:13:16,599 --> 00:13:20,821
She can't get his pants off
fast enough."
337
00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:26,914
Yes. That is so nasty.
338
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:35,748
What? Keep going.
339
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,133
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- Okay, okay.
340
00:13:38,621 --> 00:13:40,492
DAVE: Check us out.
341
00:13:40,623 --> 00:13:42,668
Well-oiled machine.
342
00:13:42,858 --> 00:13:43,862
Yep.
343
00:13:43,887 --> 00:13:45,410
Yep, yep, we got this.
344
00:13:45,541 --> 00:13:47,195
All right, now. Okay.
345
00:13:47,325 --> 00:13:48,781
Thank goodness we have
the double doors back here.
346
00:13:48,805 --> 00:13:49,893
[BOTH SIGH]
347
00:13:50,024 --> 00:13:51,634
- All right.
- Yeah.
348
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:53,592
All we got to do is just
349
00:13:53,723 --> 00:13:55,812
get it over to the bathroom,
and we're done.
350
00:13:55,943 --> 00:13:57,118
[SIGHS]
351
00:13:57,248 --> 00:13:58,249
You mean "up."
352
00:13:58,380 --> 00:13:59,511
What do you mean, "up?"
353
00:13:59,642 --> 00:14:01,731
Well, it's going in our bathroom.
354
00:14:01,862 --> 00:14:03,080
Upstairs.
355
00:14:03,211 --> 00:14:04,995
W-What about the bathroom down here?
356
00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:06,736
Well, that's a half bath.
357
00:14:06,867 --> 00:14:08,947
Yeah, we put the tub in there,
then it's a full bath.
358
00:14:11,219 --> 00:14:12,220
Nah, come on, Calvin.
359
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:13,850
Let's strap back up. Let's take it up.
360
00:14:13,874 --> 00:14:15,440
Da-David, I'm not going upstairs.
361
00:14:15,571 --> 00:14:18,400
Your porch is only four steps
and it almost killed us.
362
00:14:20,271 --> 00:14:21,925
You know what, maybe you're right.
363
00:14:22,056 --> 00:14:23,736
You know, Gemma's
just gonna have to accept
364
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,277
that she's not married to The Rock.
365
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:27,844
I'm just a pebble.
366
00:14:27,975 --> 00:14:30,891
Dave "The Pebble" Johnson.
367
00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:34,982
Dave, you are not a pebble.
368
00:14:37,158 --> 00:14:38,221
Look, Calvin,
369
00:14:38,246 --> 00:14:40,117
it's not just about the bathtub.
370
00:14:40,248 --> 00:14:41,466
Look, look, I know, man.
371
00:14:41,597 --> 00:14:43,512
You lost your job, but
372
00:14:43,642 --> 00:14:45,688
that doesn't make you less of a man.
373
00:14:48,691 --> 00:14:50,693
Calvin, this is
not easy to say, but...
374
00:14:52,521 --> 00:14:54,740
Gemma and I, in the bedroom...
375
00:14:54,871 --> 00:14:55,960
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
376
00:14:55,984 --> 00:14:57,047
Pump your brakes.
377
00:14:57,178 --> 00:14:59,006
[SCOFFS]
378
00:14:59,136 --> 00:15:00,572
It's not what you think.
379
00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:02,792
Look...
380
00:15:03,967 --> 00:15:05,403
...we haven't been having sex.
381
00:15:05,534 --> 00:15:07,405
That's exactly what I thought.
382
00:15:08,493 --> 00:15:10,191
And now I know.
383
00:15:12,671 --> 00:15:14,456
Well, it's great, at least,
384
00:15:14,586 --> 00:15:16,434
that I have someone
I can share everything with.
385
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:17,459
No, not everything.
386
00:15:19,113 --> 00:15:20,766
Look, David,
387
00:15:20,897 --> 00:15:23,204
you're my friend, and so...
388
00:15:24,031 --> 00:15:26,033
...let's just take care
of this tub situation,
389
00:15:26,163 --> 00:15:28,687
and the other thing, it'll, uh,
390
00:15:28,818 --> 00:15:30,646
be up and running in no time.
391
00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:33,692
I'll go find us some help.
392
00:15:33,823 --> 00:15:34,955
Thanks, man.
393
00:15:36,695 --> 00:15:37,935
Don't you cry. Don't you do it.
394
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:48,925
There she is.
395
00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:50,796
Mommy's home.
396
00:15:50,927 --> 00:15:52,363
MARTY: Hello.
397
00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,278
Hello, Courtney.
398
00:15:54,409 --> 00:15:56,106
Ooh, Marty, you have to listen to this
399
00:15:56,237 --> 00:15:58,277
amazing nine-part podcast
about the helium shortage.
400
00:15:58,326 --> 00:15:59,526
- I swear, it's...
- Daphne has
401
00:15:59,631 --> 00:16:00,676
her ears pierced.
402
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:02,852
What?
403
00:16:02,983 --> 00:16:04,462
Oh, my God.
404
00:16:04,593 --> 00:16:06,464
Did your mother do this?
405
00:16:06,595 --> 00:16:08,423
Look, I will not
sell out my own mother,
406
00:16:08,553 --> 00:16:09,685
but, yes. Yes, she did.
407
00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:12,470
I don't believe this.
408
00:16:12,601 --> 00:16:13,621
That woman has no right...
409
00:16:13,645 --> 00:16:15,386
- Hey.
- [MARTY SHRIEKS]
410
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,693
Mrs. B. [LAUGHS]
411
00:16:17,823 --> 00:16:19,869
It is so nice to see you.
412
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,392
Oh, cut the crap.
413
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:22,567
You know damn well
414
00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:24,352
it's not nice to see me.
415
00:16:24,482 --> 00:16:25,545
Excuse me?
416
00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:27,790
Oh, come on. After what I did?
417
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,618
You need to stop being so polite
418
00:16:29,748 --> 00:16:31,402
and start being real with me.
419
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,274
Hold on. You're mad at me?
420
00:16:33,404 --> 00:16:35,276
You're the one
who pierced my baby's ears.
421
00:16:35,406 --> 00:16:37,539
That's because you were too respectful
422
00:16:37,669 --> 00:16:39,106
to tell me not to.
423
00:16:39,236 --> 00:16:40,977
And stuff like this is gonna
424
00:16:41,108 --> 00:16:43,327
keep happening
unless you start telling me
425
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:44,898
how you really feel. Because, honey,
426
00:16:45,025 --> 00:16:47,723
I'm in my fifties
and I ain't changing.
427
00:16:50,291 --> 00:16:51,553
Okay.
428
00:16:52,858 --> 00:16:54,904
You did overstep.
429
00:16:55,035 --> 00:16:56,993
Look, I get that
you're the grandmother,
430
00:16:57,124 --> 00:16:59,778
- but I am the mother.
- Mm.
431
00:16:59,909 --> 00:17:01,998
Uh-uh. Still too nice.
432
00:17:02,129 --> 00:17:03,826
If you want to respect me,
433
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,784
stop being so damn respectful.
434
00:17:05,915 --> 00:17:08,787
Okay. Okay.
435
00:17:08,918 --> 00:17:12,748
Truth is, sometimes it's like
the concept of boundaries
436
00:17:12,878 --> 00:17:14,793
is completely alien to you.
437
00:17:14,924 --> 00:17:16,230
That was good.
438
00:17:17,492 --> 00:17:20,103
Okay, better. Keep going.
439
00:17:20,234 --> 00:17:23,367
Well, sometimes you barrel over me
440
00:17:23,498 --> 00:17:26,283
like your opinion is the only opinion.
441
00:17:26,414 --> 00:17:28,024
Okay, okay.
442
00:17:28,155 --> 00:17:29,939
Now swing harder.
Say it with your chest.
443
00:17:30,070 --> 00:17:32,028
Stay in your lane, woman.
444
00:17:37,729 --> 00:17:38,948
Miss Tina.
445
00:17:40,341 --> 00:17:41,516
Ma'am.
446
00:17:42,647 --> 00:17:43,779
Respectfully.
447
00:17:46,216 --> 00:17:47,565
TINA: Okay. See?
448
00:17:47,696 --> 00:17:51,482
Now, had you been blunt
like that with me yesterday,
449
00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:53,919
my grandbaby would not
have holes in her ears.
450
00:17:54,050 --> 00:17:55,747
Okay. Fair.
451
00:17:55,878 --> 00:17:58,098
All right, so now that
we're being honest,
452
00:17:58,228 --> 00:18:00,317
do you like the dress
that I gave Daphne?
453
00:18:00,448 --> 00:18:01,797
Oh.
454
00:18:02,928 --> 00:18:05,192
Wait, uh, what dress...
455
00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:06,256
Seize the moment, Courtney.
456
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,456
I hate it.
457
00:18:08,586 --> 00:18:11,023
It looks like a rainbow
stepped on a land mine.
458
00:18:11,154 --> 00:18:13,243
I already shrunk it
in the dryer on purpose.
459
00:18:13,374 --> 00:18:14,853
Mm-hmm.
460
00:18:14,984 --> 00:18:17,064
I kept the receipt. I mean,
I could have returned it.
461
00:18:17,117 --> 00:18:18,727
But you know what?
462
00:18:18,857 --> 00:18:20,076
Thank you for your honesty.
463
00:18:20,207 --> 00:18:21,991
Mommy,
464
00:18:22,122 --> 00:18:24,167
my favorite color is blue.
465
00:18:24,298 --> 00:18:26,952
Boy, shut up. It's green.
Look at your sweater.
466
00:18:29,825 --> 00:18:31,174
Oh. Hey, everybody.
467
00:18:31,305 --> 00:18:33,350
I need your help
to move Dave's bathtub.
468
00:18:33,481 --> 00:18:35,178
- What?
- What? Why?
469
00:18:35,309 --> 00:18:38,877
His bathtub got stuck
on the ground in the front yard,
470
00:18:39,008 --> 00:18:40,792
but then come to find out...
471
00:18:40,923 --> 00:18:42,229
[WHISPERING]
472
00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:43,926
Oh.
473
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:45,057
Oh, no.
474
00:18:45,188 --> 00:18:46,407
- Poor Gemma.
- [CHUCKLES]
475
00:18:46,432 --> 00:18:47,601
I mean, that is my worst nightmare.
476
00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:49,018
Me too.
477
00:18:49,149 --> 00:18:50,367
Good thing that ain't us.
478
00:18:50,498 --> 00:18:51,542
You know what I'm saying?
479
00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,979
[BOTH MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
480
00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:56,025
Excuse me.
481
00:18:56,156 --> 00:18:57,716
Do you really think
you're being subtle?
482
00:19:00,943 --> 00:19:03,424
All right, everybody, bathtub is in.
483
00:19:03,554 --> 00:19:05,208
Now we'll just go
take a quick water break
484
00:19:05,339 --> 00:19:07,471
and then pop back up
and hook up the plumbing.
485
00:19:07,602 --> 00:19:09,449
Oh, well, you know, I think
I left something on the stove.
486
00:19:09,473 --> 00:19:11,301
Yeah, and I just
need to change Daphne.
487
00:19:11,432 --> 00:19:12,868
Well, I-I got to go help Courtney.
488
00:19:16,538 --> 00:19:17,544
They're not coming back, are they?
489
00:19:17,568 --> 00:19:19,048
Nope.
490
00:19:20,397 --> 00:19:21,572
Well, you're with me, right?
491
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,270
David, I have been doing
492
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,924
manual labor man work all day.
493
00:19:26,055 --> 00:19:28,013
I'm going home and
I'm taking me a bubble bath.
494
00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:41,766
Well?
495
00:19:41,897 --> 00:19:43,551
Malcolm, this is...
496
00:19:43,576 --> 00:19:44,595
[PURRS]
497
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:45,857
[LAUGHS]
498
00:19:45,988 --> 00:19:47,685
- Wait, wait. Really?
- Really.
499
00:19:47,816 --> 00:19:49,383
Okay, so-so I didn't go too far
500
00:19:49,513 --> 00:19:51,776
with-with the, uh,
the beads of sweat and...
501
00:19:51,907 --> 00:19:54,736
And the wet, flimsy shirt
clinging to his chest?
502
00:19:54,866 --> 00:19:55,929
No.
503
00:19:55,954 --> 00:19:57,826
Oh, yes.
504
00:19:57,956 --> 00:20:00,481
Yeah. Okay, so,
505
00:20:00,611 --> 00:20:02,744
the next time Serafina
and Derek get together,
506
00:20:02,874 --> 00:20:04,441
it's after the gala,
so do you think...
507
00:20:04,572 --> 00:20:06,138
- I got to Dave.
- You got to what?
508
00:20:06,269 --> 00:20:07,488
I got to go.
509
00:20:07,618 --> 00:20:08,750
You got... Hey, uh...
510
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:10,520
- Gemma, you forgot your purse.
- Keep it!
511
00:20:13,102 --> 00:20:15,670
Dave. Dave!
512
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,759
♪
513
00:20:24,983 --> 00:20:27,377
Oh, hey, baby. Sorry I'm such a mess.
514
00:20:27,508 --> 00:20:29,945
That's a mess I can get into.
515
00:20:32,643 --> 00:20:34,689
What? Gemma?
516
00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:37,474
- Yeah?
- You okay?
517
00:20:37,605 --> 00:20:38,997
Yeah. [SCOFFS]
518
00:20:39,128 --> 00:20:40,825
Just... look at you.
519
00:20:40,956 --> 00:20:42,349
I mean, you're-you're all sweaty.
520
00:20:42,479 --> 00:20:44,438
- What happened?
- Oh, yeah, well,
521
00:20:44,568 --> 00:20:47,008
you know, sometimes, when a man
installs a whole damn bathtub,
522
00:20:47,136 --> 00:20:48,877
you get a little sweaty.
523
00:20:51,140 --> 00:20:52,159
Come on.
524
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:53,229
Well, where we going?
525
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:54,598
I'm taking you to the boathouse.
526
00:20:54,622 --> 00:20:55,666
The-the boathouse?
527
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:57,317
The bathtub! The bathtub. The bathtub.
528
00:20:57,694 --> 00:21:03,684
sync & corrections awaqeded
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