All language subtitles for trailer.park.boys.s03e08.dvdrip.xvid-sfm

- What's wrong Sweetie?

- You're always in jail
at Christmas.

- I'm gonna do my best
to stay out of jail this year.

We're gonna go on the cruise
instead of going to jail.

I'll tell you what.
I got a great idea.

Why don't we have Christma
s today?

- Really?

- To make up for all the
Christmas I was in jail.

We'll have real presents
and everything.

- Cool!

- Come on out.

- You're not allowed doing that.
That's littering.

- I've noticed that if you throw
something into a water body like

a lake or an ocean that the next
day you come back and its gone

So somehow it takes it
away and filters

it through and just cleans it up

like a garbage compactor
or whatever.

So it's not really littering
if you ask me.

That's fine. The water's gonna
wash it all away, Sweetie.

Ah, shit!

We're gonna have to borrow
a tire from somebody, Trin

See, you have to count
the number of bolts.

One, two, three, four, five.

And Daddy's car has one, two
, three, four, five.

So this tire will fit
on Daddy's car.

Here, try putting your foot up
on there like this.

There you go.
See, you can do it.

- I did it!

- Ricky?

Listen, how come
you're not excited

about going on this cruise

- I am excited, Bubbles.

You know, I think
it's pretty awesome.

Julian planning this whole thing
and it worked out.

He's a good fucking thinker.

I just don't want
to leave Trinity, man.

I'm going to miss her
and I want this to be

the best Christmas ever. I'v
e got a lot of making up to do

cause I'm always in fucking jail
at Christmas.

- Come on, boys. Let's pick up
the cruise tickets. Come on!

- Bubbles, get in the back

I'll mess up my hair
in the convertible.

- There's your tickets.
- Right on!

- Wait, there's uh,
one more right?

Bonus ticket special -
buy seven, get one free.

There's only seven tickets here.
There should be eight.

- Ricky was supposed to phone me
back to confirm the free ticket.

I left him three messages
and he never returned my calls

- If you want to get
a hold of Ricky,

you've got to go down
to the car

or walk around the park lookin
g for him, yelling for him.

You can't just phone him up.

- There's only seven of us
going anyway. It's no big deal

- Where's my ticket, Ricky

- Julian, Bubbles...

Corey, Trevor, Lucy, Sarah
, Erica? Erica?

What the fuck, Julian!
Where's my ticket?

- Julian never told anybod
y that he was going to use

one of those
for his new girlfriend.

- Relax, alright! We can still
get the bonus ticket now, right?

- I'm sorry gentlemen.
That promotion ended last week

It's too late now.
The ship sails at six.

- Now Ricky doesn't have
a fucking ticket.

Sometimes you can just
hear the things

fucking shorting out
in his brain.

I don't know what
he's going to do.

And, we're going to try
to make Corey and Trevor

come up with forty-two hundred
dollars in about four hours.

- It's kind of unfortunate
that we've been paying

in to the vacation pay

with Julian, but something
there was some kind of a mistake

or an accounting error and our
, our money got lost.

- Corey and Trevor are
as stupid as fuck.

If this is going to happen
,

I'm in charge of how
we get the money,

cause I'm not stupid.
- Oh, oh, Julian.

- The fastest way to get money
is to steal a bank machine

You just take a fucking chain,
hook it up to a truck

and yank the fucking bank
machine out of the store.

- The stupidest thing is the
people that make the bank machines,

they don't even check with
the people that make the doors

All they have to do is make the
door smaller than the bank machine,

you can't get
the bank machine out.

- Dude, I don't care how w e do it
but we're going on a cruise, man.

It's all about the ladies, dude.
The ladies.

- We're going to have
to come back and get this

cause I still gotta do
my laundry.

- Yeah, man, let's rob
the laundry-mat.

Shit, they got quarters
and loonies.

That's a dope idea.

- Do you have any tube socks

Fuck man, that's what
I was looking for.

- So, Ricky?
- Uh-huh?

- Corey and Trevor stealin
g a bank machine.

Do you think that's a good idea?

- I would have did it myself,
Bubbles, ut I'm not going back to jail.

Besides, Julian's the one
that screwed everything up

- Ricky, I just want you and Erica
to get along with each other okay,

so could you please give her
another chance?

- You've got chicken
on your lip.

- Ricky... This doesn't
look good. - Oh-oh.

- He was having Christmas dinner
with his family, with his daughter.

There was a lot of unnecessary
enforcement and reinforcement,

and Lahey comes in.

- Ricky.
- What the fuck's going on here?

- I've been waiting a long tim
e for this, boy.

- For what?
- You know the lease

you signed for your lot, Rick?
- Yeah.

- It said if you made more than five Sunnyvale by
- Law infractions,

you were out on your ass.
- But I didn't, so fuck you.

- Oh yeah? Outstanding lot fees
with written warnings,

public drunkenness, trafficking, littering,
excessive firearm discharge,

environmental oil test results
. It's all there, Officer.

- Well, when Ricky first got out
of jail, Mr. Lahey tricked him

into signing a legal thing
saying that um,

he'd abide by the Sunnyval
e rules and regulations.

And, you know, maybe Ricky thought
he could do it, I don't know.

- You know what? You think
you're so big and important,

showing off in front of th e
cops. Hat's what's going on here.

- Just doing my job, Ricky
. A real job.

Something you'll never have th e pleasure
or mental capacit y to understand.

- I could do your fucking job
in a second.

- Not in a second. Never.
You know why, Rick?

- Why?
- Cause you're a loser.

- At least he's not a drunk.

- Daddy's gotta go take care
of some bullshit, alright?

I'll be back in a bit and we'I
I finish celebrating Christmas

I'm sorry. I love you Pumpkin.
I'll be back in a bit.

- Ricky kind of freaked ou
t and threw a turkey,

which might have gone through a
windshield of one of the cop cars,

they're saying. But, it's like
, anyone would have done that.

- Holy fuck!

That was a perfectly
good turkey.

Come here, fella.

Come here, buddy.
It's still good.

- Nah, no man should have
to leave where he's from.

It shouldn't have happened

- You see this line?
That's the freedom line, Ricky

You come back over that line
and you go to jail.

- Ike what, like this? Lik
e that? Am I going to jail now

If I had my choice, I probably
wouldn't go back to jail,

but jail is not that bad.
I was getting pissed off

at people here
and the way I was being treated.

Sometimes, jail is better
than this place.

Ah, once a criminal,
always a criminal, huh?

That's what everybody thinks
? Cause if that's the case,

I may as well march my ass back
to jail where it's nice and warm.

I'll spend the fucking winte r getting
drunk and stoned with good dope.

- Is that the end of the great Sunnyvale
Trailer Park eviction speech, Ricky?

- Actually it's not. I hop e
you're fucking proud of yourself,

cause the end of my speech i
s fuck you, fuck you,

fuck you, fuck you,
fuck everybody.

- Ricky, don't worry about
this stuff, okay?

Corey and Trevor, they're goin
g to get the money.

So smarten up, man,
enough of this crazy shit, Rick.

- You just don't get it, do you?
- What?

- Have fun on your little co
p cruise, alright?

Just remember
what you gave up.

A fucking guy that you could
get drunk with, get stoned with,

didn't ask any fucking questions
about nothing.

Just hang out and have
a good fucking time.

Broke the law here and there
, we made what we did to get by.

Just remember, you gave that u
for a fucking girlfriend, buddy.

A fucking cop girlfriend. I know
I won't forget it. Thanks a lot.

Sorry, buddy. You have a goo d
time on the cruise. You deserve it.

Everybody else can fuck off.

- That was a good speech, Ricky.

- You want to come visit m
e Julian, I'll be in jail.

Thanks, buddy.

Oh fuck.

Excuse me, Sir, can you
please step twenty feet away

from the pump and extinguish
your cigarette?

- Can you please fuck off?
Thank you.

s
- Come on, Ricky, put it out. You got me fired from nine job

already this summer
and I can't handle it.

I'm gonna call the cops.
- Go ahead, Jacob.

Call the fucking cops.
I dare ya.

But you know what, you're no
t gonna call the cops are you?

Cause you're scared.
Please call them.

I want to fucking go to jail
anyway. Dick!

- Yeah, I'm calling them. Yes, I'd
like to report a robbery, please.

- Ah, fuck off, Jacob!

- It's a black car with no door and
a bunch of crap hanging off the back

Some freak driving it.
Yeah, the gas station.

I can't believe this shit!

- Did that guy steal something
? - He stole a bunch of shit

- Did he tell you
to call the cops?

- He was daring me to and I
called them. They're on their way.

- Look, my friend has
psychological problems.

I want you to call the cops back
and tell them you fucked up.

- He stole about two hundred bucks
worth of shit. Like, I don't know.

- Here. There's seventy bucks.
That should cover it.

- Uh. I'm gonna get in shi
t with my boss.

- And here's twenty bucks for
calling the cops back. Are we cool?

- Yeah man, we're cool.
- Thanks, man.

- Hey, everybody,
come on over here, please.

Just want you guys to know
that I am drunk as fuck,

driving around town drunk.

I'm on dope and I want you
to call the police.

I want to go back to jail.
Please. Not only that,

but I've got a loaded hand gun
right here.

I'm gonna start firing this off.
So please call the cops.

What, you're not going to call
the police?

Fucking Julian. Great!

- You've got two options here,
okay?

One, go on this awesome cruise
with all your friends,

all-inclusive,
have a good time.

Or number two, go to jail. This
isn't a difficult decision, Ricky.

- I'm not going on the cruis
e if Erica is.

So I guess I'm going
the fuck back to jail.

Erica's just got this attitude like
she's better than everybody else

just cause she's wearing a
fucking badge and that's bullshit.

She's not better than me, we just
have different occupations or whatever.

I'm just as good as she is

You've changed man.
- Meet me back at the trailer park.

- Sure, Julian.
- I'm not joking here.

- I'll meet you back there. I'll
be there in two minutes. No problem.

You just wait for me.
I'll be right there, buddy

Fuck that, we're going somewhere
else. Come with me, guys.

- Alright! Somebody come
and fucking arrest me, please.

- I need you to keep an eye on
Ricky for a little while, okay

- I want to go to jail.
- He won't listen to me.

I think he really wants
to go back to jail.

- "Closed for renovations"
! This is fucked!

- Alright, Julian.
I'll do it but...

don't you notice the look
Ricky has in his eye.

That crazy look.

I've seen that before
and it scares me.

I don't want anything stupid
to ruin this cruise on us.

- Hey, everybody! How you doing?
This is my friend Mr. Gun.

My special guest Smith & Wesso
n says get your ass down

and give me some quarters.
This is a stick up, real deal,

real gun, full cooperation
and no one gets done.

Yeah, so listen to me
cause that's what I say.

- Stop fucking rapping,
this is the real thing.

- Down please, Miss.
Down. Down.

Alright, you just keep doing
what you're doing.

Your cool. That's alright.

Tall boy, get down! Don't make
me fucking get up there. Down!

- Alright, we want your change
. Give us your change now.

- Dude, just take the fucking quarters.
- Please, get on the ground.

Look at these little thing s of
detergent. We should take these too.

- Thank you very much.
Thank you.

- This thing's awesome, man!

- That's a little big.
I can't drive this shit.

- I'll drive it.
Just get us in there, man.

- So, what did you want
to talk about?

- Listen, we've got to wor
k this whole Ricky situation out

, I know you don't think too
highly of him and everything

but he's a good guy,
he's my best friend.

I really want him to go
on this cruise with us.

- No offence, Julian. Ricky'
s a skid. He belongs in jail

When are you going to grow u
p and see that?

Look, I know you guys
go way back but,

this isn't junior high schoo
I anymore.

Lahey's right. Ricky's a loser

I really think it's time for you
to get out of the park, Julian

The people you hang out with
are fucked up.

Where'd you get the coins,
boys?

- Uh, we were gambling
with Trevor's grandmother.

But, we weren't gambling though.
We were just...

- Why don't you call me when
you're finished with your friends.

- Don't be pulling shit like that
in front of Erica again, you got it?

- Sorry, dude.
But man, we got the money.

Eighteen hundred bucks
in quarters.

Man, we're going on the trip.
A-rah! - Eighteen hundred bucks.

You know what?
That's not enough.

Now roll that fucking coin u
p and go get some more money

- I don't understand why you'd want
to give up the finer things in life.

Like getting drunk and stone
d with your friends.

Settle down for,
well that's ridiculous.

And I want to go on this cruise,
but I'm not going

with Julian and his police
officer girlfriend. Fuck that!

All I know is when I'm
seventy years old

and I'm sitting on my fron t porch,
still getting drunk and stoned

with my friends, who's going
to be happier, me or him?

I guarantee you,
it's going to be fucking me.

- Oh my God, Ricky.
What have you done now?

Come on, Julian...
Come on, answer...

Julian, it's me.

You've got to get down
to the liquor store.

Ricky's inside. He's getting
drunk and he's swearing.

- Bubbles, I see you out there
. I'm not stupid.

There's a fucking camera
crew too. Don't fucking film me.

- He's whipping bottles
at me, Julian!

- Bubbles, come and have a drink
with me before I go to jail, buddy.

- Alright, I'll try to stall him
but get down here.

Where's the tape on this thing
? Come on, Ricky.

- My name's Ricky
from Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

I want to go to fucking jail, alright?
So come and get me. Come and take me away.

- Ricky, what are you doing?
- What are you going to do, Julian?

Get drunk with the boys
or hang out with the girlfriend?

- I've got half the money
for your ticket.

Corey and Trevor will be
in third class.

You're gonna get
a first class suite.

- No, I'm not, cause I'm going
back to jail in about ten minutes.

- Holy fuck, have you guys eve
r tried that dope flavoured rum?

- Dope flavoured rum? Where?

- Get him, Julian!

It's gonna be cool, Ricky.

- Julian, I got
the surveillance tape!

- Good, you've got to drive, Bubbles.
- What if I get pulled over?

- Stick to the speed limit
, you won't get pulled over.

- Oh no! Okay,
Ricky, just relax.

Don't worry, I can take care of this.
I've seen you do this a hundred times.

- Don't worry, I know
what I'm doing.

Hi, Officer, how are you doing
today? I'll just step out

I can't get my door open.
I'll get out this way.

Oh oh now, hang on now.

Oh oh.
Yup, this way is fine too.

I can get out that way.
That's not a problem.

Me and my buddy, there,

we're doing a kind of a university
prank on him for initiation.

- I know. Calm down please

- What's going on?
- We lost the car, Julian.

- Get in.

- Okay, boys.

Look what we got, Randy.
Shit stormtroopers.

- Ricky, stay in the car.
- Good advice.

- Lift this gate up, Lahey,
I don't have time for this today

- Ricky, you cross that line
, you're going to jail boy!

- Perfect, ass face, cause I want
to go to jail. Fuck off, Randy!

- Jim, we're just going
to my trailer to talk.

- Randy, go call the cops.

Tell them we got an illega
alien trying to jump the border.

- You wait here, Ricky. I'm
going to go grab some mix and ice,

we'll go talk somewhere else
. Bubbles, keep an eye on him.

Make sure he doesn't cross
the line.

- Ricky, Ricky...
- Come on, guys...

- You're not going back to jail.
- I want to though.

- What's the problem
this time, boys?

- Captain Shit-acular is raising
shit in Sunnyvale again.

- And when he called us and said
this is what's happening,

you have to come out here
and help, I have no choice

I would say that Ricky's a shit
leopard that can't change it's spots

- Please, take me away. I want you
to. I want you to take me to jail.

- Look, I'm not going to pla
y into your shit, okay?

- Then you and your little boyfriend
can live happy hour ever after,

isn't that what you want?
- Ricky, I'm really trying to like you.

You're not making it easy.
- Well maybe this will help.

Fuck off.
- Okay, that's it.

Bring him over here, Bubbles
. This is a police emergency

I'm going to have to take
your cab.

- I'm crossing your little
fucking line, Lahey!

- Just take him out of the park,
anywhere, I don't care.

- Don't fucking slam the doo r on me.
Tell Julian it was nice knowing him

since elemental school,
breaking the law

with guns and dope
and everything else!

- Ricky told us just to hook
everything up and tear the bank machine

out of the wall and then

we could just make a withdrawa
when we get it back to the park.

- What's up, Ricky?
- How's it going, boys?

Where's the store clerk?
- Tied him up out back, man.

- He probably just wants to be
a part of it with us.

It's an exciting job and he'
s been pretty cool as of late.

- A lot of people like to work
with people who are good at things

and kind of job shadow the
m or whatever

and I think it would be an
awesome opportunity for Ricky.

- It's all secure?
- It's all set up.

- Get the fuck out, guys.
I'm taking over the job.

Get the fuck out. Good
job. - What?! - Get out!

My name is Ricky, I'm from
the Sunnyvale Trailer Park,

and I'm robbing your store

I'm tearing this bank machin
e right the fuck out of here

- Who are you talking to, Ricky?
- Are you guys fucking stupid?

Look, you're on camera,
you idiots, now get out.

- Wait up, Ricky!

- Thanks for the milk shake,
Julian, it's delicious.

- I am drunk as fuck!
Drunk as fuck!

- Shit, is that Ricky?
- I would say it is, Julian.

- My God, it's Ricky!

Yeah, we got a 10-72
at the Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

Thank you very much.
Well, Ricky, it looks like you -

- Fuck you, fuck you,
fuck your gate.

- Willful destruction of property,
theft under a thousand dollars,

trespassing, dangerous driving
, you're going back to jail, boy

- Did you call the cops yet?
- Yeah, I did.

- Good, I want to go back to jail.
- You wanna go?

- Hey, Trin. - Hi. -
Where did you get this rim

- I borrowed it, Daddy. Just like
you taught me to. Merry Christmas.

- Like I taught you to.
What do you mean?

- Apples don't fall far
from the tree, do they, Rick

- Lahey, I got a lot to deal
with before I got back to jail

I have no time for your shit
so fuck off.

- Speaking of shit, Rick,
which we were,

when a shit apple falls from a tree
and grows up in a field of shit,

it doesn't have any choice
. Just like Trinity.

She's going to go up to be
a shit apple tree.

Just like her father.
Have fun in jail, Rick.

- I want to go to jail.

- Trinity, don't ever say that
again, okay? Don't joke around

- I want to go to jail.
Jail, jail, jail, jail.

- Trinity, stop it! I'm serious.
Don't ever joke about that

You're never going to jail, okay?
- Oh yes she is, Rick.

- No she's not, Lahey,
so fuck off.

What I started realizing about
Trinity is that now she's at this age

where it's gorilla see, gorilla
do. If I throw a bottle in the lake,

she's gonna throw a bottle in
the lake, which is no big deal.

g You are never going to jail,
so you gotta do the right thin

and take this rim back
where you got it from.

She doesn't need to steal.
I could steal anything we need

Why does she need to take it?
It's better I got to jail than her.

Where'd you get this rim? At the mall?
- Yup.

- What's going on, Ricky?
- It's a long story, boys.

I stole a bank machine.
It's all on video tape.

I'm fucked, I'm going back
to jail. Can't go on the cruise.

- Rick, you're not going back to jail.
Store surveillance tape. I got it back.

Now let's go get the money from the
bank machine and get out of here.

- Let's go Ricky, cruise.
- Hold on a second, guys, hold on.

- What?

- I can't go on the cruise eve
n if I'm not going back to jail.

I can't.
- Well, why, Ricky?

- I've got to stay
and look after Trinity.

She's starting to steal
and that's not good.

I don't want her to grow u
p to be a shit apple like me

- Here, hold that, honey.
I'll be back in a bit, boys.

I just gotta take this rim bac k and
I'll drive you guys down to the ship.

- I just gotta make
a little withdrawal man.

k It'll only take a second.
- Julian! How long do you thin

it'll take your little
cop girlfriend to realize

you can't change the spots
on a shit leopard?

- Fuck off with your shit talk
, Lahey.

- Randy, secure the evidence
. - Come on, Julian.

Get away from the evidence

- Holy fuck, she blew!

- Julian, you are
in trouble now, boy.

- Boys, you got police dye
all over you.

- Julian, what the hell
is going on here?

- Stand back, ma'am.
This is official police matter

Here they come, Randy.

- Did Ricky do this?
You could go to jail for this.

Please tell me you weren't..

- I didn't have anything
to do with this, okay.

Look it was Randy and Lahey,
they have dye all over them.

- Dave, these two,
they stole a bank machine.

Take them away.
- What?!

- Bubbles, leave without me.
- I don't want to leave without you.

- Listen go, I'll meet you
there, okay, buddy?

- You're not going to be there
, are you, Julian?

- Have a good time. Yes, I am.

- Well?

- Listen, Erica, I don't hav
e any dye on me, okay?

- How could you ruin this
with your criminal bullshit?

I thought you were
better than that.

I'm a cop...

and he's a criminal.

And I swear I never meant to be.

- Either you love me for who
I am or you arrest me right now.

- You have the right to retain

and instruct counsel
in private without delay.

Dave, another one.

Could you stop filming, please?!

,
- Going on that cruise would have been a good time and everything

but I'm trying to keep my mind off it
because well, you know, I'm in here.

I been doing a lot of readin
g on positive thinking again

and it's helped me out.
- Hi, Julian.

- Fuck off, Randy.
So I've got eight months

and that's not that bad.
I've done a lot longer time.

- Yeah, when I get out,
I want to do three things:

Fix up the park,

have a little drink,

just celebratory...
- Yeah.

- And uh...
I want to kill Ricky.

- Life's funny. Never did I ever think
I'd become trailer park supervisor,

but Lahey and Randy went to jail
and the job came up.

I had experience so here I am.

- Mr. Lahey is just joking about
killing Ricky, right Mr. Lahey

- Yup, just joking about that,
you're right, Randy.

- And since
I'm not going to jail,

we can even have Christmas
together, so life for me is perfect.

- You did it, Daddy!
- I did do it, didn't I?

Thanks, Julian!