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1
00:00:01,702 --> 00:00:02,802
So what are
you doing here?
2
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,636
The gym is closed
for a week.
3
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:07,082
Somebody flushed the
"Do Not Flush Tampons" sign
4
00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:08,108
down the toilet.
5
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:09,142
It's a disaster.
6
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,737
Do you want to have lunch?
7
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:13,548
I can't. My assistant quit.
She left me with this huge mess.
8
00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,651
I just found all my insurance
forms shoved into a drawer
9
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,653
with what smells like
an egg salad sandwich.
10
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,315
(inhales)
11
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,693
Oh, please, God, let it be
an egg salad sandwich.
12
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,292
(phone ringing)
13
00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,764
No, no, no!
Don't answer your own phones.
14
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,263
Makes it seem
like you're running
15
00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:29,355
(phone ringing)
a two-bit operation here.
16
00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:30,727
(perky voice):
Good morning.
17
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,604
Thank you for calling
Dr. Kimble's office.
18
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,103
I have another call
ahead of you. Please hold.
19
00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:36,536
What are you doing?
20
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,140
Eh, make it seem
like you're busy.
21
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,612
More professional.
22
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:43,111
Thank you for holding.
How can I help you?
23
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:46,614
Oh, Dr. Kimble's all booked up
on Friday.
24
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,147
I'm not booked on Friday.
25
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:49,852
Stop it...
I'm not booked on any day.
26
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:54,723
Okay, I see your 10:00 a.m.,
I raise you a 2:00 on Wednesday.
27
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,725
(silly, giddy laughter)
28
00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:00,328
Oh, great.
My pleasure, hon.
29
00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:01,861
Wow, that was amazing.
30
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,525
Whose voice was that?
31
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,374
That's my secretary voice.
32
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,729
My first job in high school
was answering phones
33
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,267
in a doctor's office.
34
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:10,372
I could handle three lines
and not laugh
35
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:14,144
when I answered the phone,
"Dr. Getsoff. Please hold."
36
00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:17,352
But I had to quit when
Dr. Pullit joined the practice.
37
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:21,218
Couldn't get through Pullit and
Getsoff without laughing.
38
00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:22,349
(laughing)
39
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:23,753
You know, I really do need
40
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,594
some help here.
I was wondering,
41
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,659
do you think you could fill in
until I find someone?
42
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,688
It's been a long time.
I don't know if I'm re-- uh!
43
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,393
(phone rings)
44
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,585
Good morning. Thank you for
calling Dr. Kimble's office.
45
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:34,657
Please hold.
46
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,555
(phone ringing)
47
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,627
Dr. Kimble's office.
Please hold.
48
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:42,597
Drs. Pullit and Getsoff.
Please hold.
49
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,866
(laughs)
That was just for you.
50
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,320
Christine! Come on!
51
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,478
We're gonna be late
for my first appointment.
52
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,891
Good morning, Mary.
53
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,919
Lou and Rhoda are
in the car already. Let's go.
54
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,694
Hey, don't start.
55
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,933
This is what I wore when
I worked at Dr. Getsoff's.
56
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,658
You know, if you hang on
to your clothes long enough
57
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:07,664
they come back in style again.
58
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,725
Not yet.
59
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,703
Ah! Look at this.
60
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:14,242
Clove cigarettes and diet pills.
61
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:17,568
Wow. God, I loved the '70s.
62
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:18,605
Nothing was bad for you.
63
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,539
Except for fashion.
64
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,475
Hey, Matthew.
65
00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:24,881
Hey, Maude.
66
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,748
What? You don't like my outfit?
67
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,623
Oh, I didn't notice your outfit.
68
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,917
Shut up. I'm restarting
my secretarial career.
69
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,486
I'm answering phones
70
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,755
for Matthew for a week
while the gym is closed.
71
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:40,793
You two are working together?
72
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,798
Isn't that kind of weird?
73
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,430
You're living with the
woman who left you at
the altar two months ago.
74
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,296
We're friends now.
75
00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:49,235
I mean, do I still snoop through
her purse and read her texts
76
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,737
and log onto her Facebook page?
Sure.
77
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,271
But only as a friend.
78
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,307
Hey, what's Facebook?
79
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,713
Oh, you're gonna love it
about 30 years from now.
80
00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:02,378
I'm starting to get hungry.
81
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,776
What should we do
for lunch today?
82
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,717
Ooh, how about
our sushi roll place?
83
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,493
We haven't been
there in a while.
84
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,391
Richard, I won't be able
to have lunch with you today.
85
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:10,463
I have plans.
86
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:13,431
Oh, okay.
87
00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:16,461
If you have plans,
that's your business.
88
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,867
Where you going?
Who you going with?
89
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,969
I have a date.
90
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:22,671
A date?
91
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,913
Well, that's awesome.
92
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,679
Who's your date with?
Where you going?
93
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,509
Actually, we're going
to the sushi roll place,
94
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,814
so I would appreciate it
if you went elsewhere.
95
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,746
Our sushi roll place?
96
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:38,423
Do you want me to go
somewhere else?
97
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,322
Just do me a favor, don't
order our sushi roll.
98
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,515
That's a special
roll for us.
99
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,627
Richard, if the guy wants
to order a California roll,
100
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:46,789
I'm not going to stop him.
101
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:52,832
You did great work today.
102
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,836
We've got you on
the books for next week.
103
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:55,868
Validation...
104
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,773
tissues...
105
00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,335
smoke?
106
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:01,313
That's okay.
107
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,539
We're trying to keep
Nancy away from fire.
108
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,978
So who's my next patient?
109
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,484
Um, oh, actually,
you have a little break.
110
00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:11,317
Sandra, your 11:00, cancelled.
111
00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:12,349
She cancelled?
Uh-huh.
112
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:13,586
She say why?
113
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,661
She was a little upset
when she called,
114
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,829
but then I talked her down
and she felt so much better,
115
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,588
she just canceled
her appointment.
116
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,597
That woman is a mess.
117
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,329
It's court-ordered therapy.
118
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:24,601
What did you say to her?
119
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,372
Same thing
you would've said, probably.
120
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,040
I mean, this therapy thing
isn't science.
121
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:31,339
Yes, it is.
122
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,642
It's science.
123
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:35,043
It's behavioral science.
124
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:38,045
And I'm a trained professional,
and you're an assistant.
125
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:40,578
How dare you.
126
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,424
I'm a secretary.
127
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:46,521
You can't be talking
to my patients.
128
00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:47,694
You're not trained.
129
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,921
I-I have a license,
a degree.
130
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,487
Oprah's boyfriend
talked at my graduation.
131
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:55,556
So I spoke to a couple
of your clients.
132
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,056
What is the big deal?
133
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,367
Wait, a-a couple?!
More than one?!
134
00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,569
Three.
135
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,940
Oh, my God!
You're unbelievable!
136
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,639
You're a secretary!
137
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:06,841
I am
an executive assistant.
138
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,984
And I am a doctor.
139
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,479
Oh, well, "Doctor."
140
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:14,782
No, no, no,
not "doctor," doctor!
141
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,546
"Okay."
142
00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,685
"Fine."
143
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,590
Stop mocking me.
144
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,522
Okay, how about
this idea?
145
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:27,027
How about you thanking me for
helping you out this week, okay?
146
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,800
How about
a little appreciation for me?
147
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,800
You are 100% wrong,
and until you apologize
148
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,602
I'm not speaking to you.
149
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,604
I am not apologizing
for helping you, okay?
150
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:38,407
And stop yelling at me,
151
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,709
because I think I took too many
of those diet pills,
152
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,481
and I'm having these weird,
crazy energy surges.
153
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,851
Man, those things are good!
154
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,719
(gasps)
You're fired.
155
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:50,578
Oh! Aah!
156
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:51,588
You can't fire me.
157
00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:53,449
I am as high as a kite.
158
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,417
Fired!
159
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,689
(screeching)
160
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,059
(squeaky, lilting):
Good morning.
161
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,966
Welcome to
Dr. Kimble's office.
162
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,668
Do you have an appointment?
163
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:11,641
Do you have an appointment?
164
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:12,912
Uh, no, no, no, no.
165
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:16,480
I'm the, uh, secretary.
166
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,810
Oh.
167
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,675
Well, I'm, uh,
I'm Max Kershaw.
168
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,454
I share the suite
with Dr. Kimble.
169
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:25,523
Oh, you mean Dr. Jackass.
170
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:28,163
Oh, are you from
that temp agency?
171
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:30,088
Oh, Matthew is my brother.
172
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,463
I'm Christine.
173
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:34,162
Oh, yes, he told me about you.
174
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:37,204
Oh, thank you.
175
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,670
Would you excuse me
just for a second?
176
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:42,140
Good morning. Dr. Kimble's
office. Please hold.
177
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,211
That phone didn't ring.
178
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,779
Oh... I think I took, uh,
too many pills
179
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,750
and the ringing might be
in my ears.
180
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,509
You want to get the door?
181
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,090
Should I call someone
to pick you up?
182
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,748
Oh, no, no, no, no, no;
I'm fine, I really am.
183
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,058
It's just that Matthew
and I never really fight,
184
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:06,060
and we live together
and we work together.
185
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,963
Well, we did work together,
you know.
186
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,755
He fired me.
187
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:13,498
(sobbing):
He's my best friend.
188
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:19,936
You seem like you need a hug,
but I have this unwritten rule,
189
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,083
which became a written rule,
190
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,979
about not hugging women
in my office.
191
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:28,582
It was a miscommunication,
followed by a weekend in Ojai,
192
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:31,616
followed by a two-month
suspension of my license.
193
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,890
No, it's okay.
194
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,992
You don't have to hug me.
195
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:39,994
Oh, it's okay...
196
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:42,857
Uh, look, I just came
197
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,726
to get my mail, and then
I have to run an appointment,
198
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,565
but I could come back.
199
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,900
Oh, later?
200
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:50,896
Oh, sure.
201
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:51,938
That would be great.
202
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,572
You know, we could talk.
203
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,837
I like to talk.
204
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,846
I like to listen.
205
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:02,048
Oh, perfect. Okay, well, um,
I should get going, too.
206
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,222
I have to pack up
all my su-- stuff,
207
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:07,891
and, uh, m-m-maybe call
poison control.
208
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,974
If there'll be
nothing else,
209
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,729
I'll be punching out.
210
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,738
Forever.
211
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:25,040
Okay, I am sorry that I yelled.
212
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,612
You did more than yell.
213
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,040
You fired me.
214
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:30,875
So if you'll just give me
my severance package...
215
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,752
...I'll be on my way.
216
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,081
Come on, you did a great job,
217
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,245
but you can see
how it's a violation
218
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,124
to counsel my clients,
can't you?
219
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:40,292
You do it.
220
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,190
Yeah, but I'm a...
221
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,992
You know what, let's just
stay clear of this subject.
222
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,125
You ready to go home?
223
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:47,999
You go ahead. I have a date.
224
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,998
Oh. With who?
225
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,700
Dr. Kershaw.
226
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:54,072
You better be kidding.
227
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:57,041
Why? He's not one
of your clients.
228
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,610
He's just my mentor.
229
00:08:58,606 --> 00:08:59,966
Christine, how did this happen?
230
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,737
I don't have to tell you.
231
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:05,205
Doctor-girlfriend
confidentiality.
232
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,045
You're not going out with him.
233
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,780
Because this is my office,
he is my mentor
234
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:11,687
and you are my employee.
235
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,019
Oh, your employee?
236
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,623
No, I don't think so.
237
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,115
I was laid off.
238
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:17,956
Just stop it, stop it.
239
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,691
You just leave those things
in the '70s where they belong.
240
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:21,357
Come on, you're coming
home with me.
241
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,204
Yeah, I'm not going anywhere
with you, little man.
242
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:26,630
I have asked you
not to call me that.
243
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:29,237
What? Little man?
244
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:32,069
What's wrong with little man...
245
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,065
little man?
246
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,007
Stop it.
247
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,683
This is my office.
248
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:41,082
And I am a doctor, damn it.
249
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:45,085
And I am the boss of you.
250
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,218
Are you...
251
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,792
(whispering):
...little man?
252
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,730
I am calling Mom.
253
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,641
Christine?
254
00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:08,643
Oh!
255
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:10,376
Sorry. (clears throat)
Sorry.
256
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,950
I think I crashed from too many
of those diet pills.
257
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,881
They should warn you
about that.
258
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:18,916
Oh, look... (weak laugh)
they do.
259
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,392
No need to explain.
260
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,020
I've walked into a lot stranger
things in this office.
261
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,086
It's a long story,
262
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,925
involving some
very unflattering photographs,
263
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,300
a night in the emergency room
264
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,398
and a three-month suspension
of my license.
265
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,170
(clears throat)
266
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:35,869
Wow, Matthew really struck gold
in the mentor department.
267
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:37,813
(both chuckle)
268
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:40,208
Oh, you have nice teeth.
269
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,180
Oh, thank you.
And you have nice...
270
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:43,709
No, I am not going
down that road.
271
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,114
I'm promised the state.
272
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,345
I, uh...
273
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,979
I don't have a whole
lot of time, so, uh,
274
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,816
if you don't mind,
I'm going to jump
right in, okay?
275
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,892
Let's do it in here.
276
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:57,694
Huh.
277
00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,425
Man knows what he wants.
278
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,864
I'm ready if you are.
279
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:05,096
Uh, you know...
280
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:07,802
I'm not used
to a whole lot of wooing,
281
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:11,435
but, um, this is a little fast,
even for me.
282
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:14,271
It's okay, relax.
283
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,337
Why don't you just lie down
and get started.
284
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:20,947
On my brother's couch?
285
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:22,351
What-What are you
going to do?
286
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,792
Oh, I'll jump in
when the time is right.
287
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:31,958
Uh, you know, I'm really not
that kind of girl.
288
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:33,832
Well, I'm not really a girl.
289
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,331
I'm more of a gal.
290
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,132
And I'm not that kind of gal.
291
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:39,074
What kind of gal?
292
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:43,299
The kind of gal that sleeps with
someone on their first date.
293
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,106
Date?
294
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,838
Oh, God.
I thought you wanted a session
295
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:47,984
to talk about your brother.
296
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:51,008
S-Session?
297
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,454
Did you think
that we were going to have...?
298
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:55,479
On your brother's couch?
299
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,445
That never even entered my mind.
I swear.
300
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,515
I've been given
some very strict guidelines
301
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,293
by a very strict judge.
302
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,932
Oh, my God.
303
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:07,228
I am just mortified.
304
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,260
Christine, I'm sorry; I just--
you know, it seemed like
305
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:10,856
you were having a really
hard time with your brother.
306
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:12,398
I thought you needed help.
307
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:13,532
Oh, well,
of course I need help.
308
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,936
You know,
I'm just a disaster.
309
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,409
Well, uh...
310
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,168
since we're here and you're...
311
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:23,507
already humiliated, do you
want to talk about it?
312
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,413
No, I don't need
to talk about it.
313
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,405
(voice breaking): It's just
that he's my only brother
314
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:30,417
and, uh, it's the biggest
fight we ever had.
315
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,150
Do you mind
if I just lie down?
316
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,086
Um...
317
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:36,462
(chuckles)
318
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,129
Before we get started,
I have to ask you,
319
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:41,528
if I had asked you out,
would you have said yes?
320
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,532
I did say yes.
321
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,343
And just so you know...
322
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:51,198
I am that kind of gal.
323
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,338
Damn it.
324
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:01,408
Oh, my God-- Richard.
325
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,378
You scared me.
What are you doing?
326
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,316
Why are the lights off?
327
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,122
Why do you keep calling and
hanging up on my cell phone?
328
00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:10,155
Christine, we're roommates.
329
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,030
I had questions.
330
00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:13,589
Like, do you mind if I finish
331
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,426
that Chinese chicken salad
in the refrigerator
332
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,172
and who the hell have you been
out with for six hours?
333
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:20,898
I don't think that was
my Chinese chicken salad.
334
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:23,244
I thought it was yours.
335
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,870
When did I have
Chinese chicken salad?
336
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:29,043
Who have you been out with
for six hours?
337
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,936
You don't know him.
338
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,908
Well, you might.
Did you follow the Olympics?
339
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:34,876
(moaning)
340
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,949
Richard, relax.
It was awful.
341
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,316
I forgot how brutal it is to
be out there dating again.
342
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,064
It is?
Yes.
343
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,630
The uncomfortable meal;
the awkward small talk:
344
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,028
"Look, these are my medals.
345
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:50,601
This is my apartment.
You can see ocean from here."
346
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,100
The paparazzi...
347
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,904
Sounds like my night.
348
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,466
"Will you deliver
a pizza for one?"
349
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,444
"Are you sure
you don't want to hang out
350
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,272
"before you deliver
the rest of your pizzas?
351
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:04,438
Okay,
then try this credit card."
352
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,407
God, if I wasn't
such a sexual person,
353
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,546
I would just stay home
and forget the whole thing.
354
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:11,021
(whining):
Sexual.
355
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,120
Richard,
I didn't sleep with anyone.
356
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,615
I'm not going to sleep
with strangers.
357
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:21,157
But I've got
to sleep with someone.
358
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,934
I don't know what to do.
359
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:26,130
What to do...
360
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,238
Hey, Richard...
361
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:34,410
since we're already living
together in this house anyway,
362
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:37,441
do you think it would be a
terrible idea if we--
363
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,675
Richard, what
are you doing?
364
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,946
I was hopeful this was where
the conversation was going.
365
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,390
Hey.
366
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,127
Okay, stop. Stop.
367
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:57,703
Listen, I have
something to say
368
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,170
and I want you
to listen to me, all right?
369
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,540
I made a mistake.
370
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,699
I was only seeing you
as my little brother,
371
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:08,537
and not the
competent professional
372
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,235
that you've worked
so hard to become.
373
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,607
And I would like to take
responsibility for that
374
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:14,545
and ask you to forgive me.
375
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,051
No.
376
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,993
Okay. Okay.
377
00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:19,715
I can hear that
you're still angry
378
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,362
and you're entitled
to your feelings,
379
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:26,229
but do you think that we can
eventually move past this?
380
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,629
No.
381
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,260
Matthew, come on.
382
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:30,696
I only had
one hour of therapy.
383
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,600
He didn't tell me what to do
384
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:35,272
if you were a total
flipping jerkhole.
385
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,272
Wait, you went to therapy?
386
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:38,674
Yes.
387
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,365
Oh, God, it was
totally humiliating.
388
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:43,707
I mean, I thought Max
and I were on a date,
389
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:47,113
and he just thought
I needed help.
390
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:51,077
You went to therapy?
391
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:52,688
Yeah.
I mean, I don't want
392
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,619
to cross any boundaries
or anything,
393
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:58,064
but I'd really like to call him
and see if he'd see me again.
394
00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,591
I mean, if that's okay.
395
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,726
Are you kidding?
396
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,400
Don't mess with me.
397
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:05,069
Are you really finally
going to get help?
398
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:10,096
Is the nightmare over?
399
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,444
Hey, guys.
What's going on?
400
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,043
Christine's going
to therapy.
401
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:17,305
Oh, thank God
the nightmare's over.
402
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:20,314
Why are you here?
403
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:22,777
I wanted you guys to
be the first to know,
404
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,745
I'm back together
with New Christine.
405
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,294
Wow! What a day!
406
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,059
I don't know
what's better news--
407
00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:29,185
you getting back together
with New Christine
408
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,722
or Christine going to therapy.
409
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,287
Oh, no contest.
410
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,585
Christine going to
therapy is huge.
411
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,562
Go a lot.
412
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,426
Pay attention.
413
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,068
(whispers):
Hey.
414
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,139
Is the coast clear?
415
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:44,770
Yeah, yeah.
416
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:48,384
Matthew's gone and we had
a fantastic day at work,
417
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:49,538
thanks to you.
418
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,336
Glad I could help.
419
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,078
And I'm glad you called me.
You look beautiful.
420
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,210
Oh. Thank you.
421
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,317
So should we get started?
422
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,118
Right now?
423
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,620
Okay.
424
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,651
I usually prefer a little
dirty talk, but, uh...
425
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:03,787
What-What are
you doing?
426
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:06,163
Kissing you.
427
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,433
Kissing me?
428
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,760
Uh, why?
429
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,595
Why?
430
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:13,230
Because you called and said
you wanted to see me again.
431
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:14,696
And you meant--
432
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,574
Damn it.
433
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,243
Oh, crap.
434
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,111
We did it again.
435
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:23,110
You'd think as a therapist,
I'd be better at reading people.
436
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,543
I thought you
were attracted to me.
437
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,147
Oh, I am.
438
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:29,249
But, you know,
you're my therapist.
439
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:34,117
Okay, look, there are a lot
of therapists in this town,
440
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:36,261
but there's not that many
people I'm attracted to.
441
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,559
And I'm going to say this
to you right now,
442
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,731
I'm a better kisser
than I am a therapist.
443
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:43,762
And I'm not even
that good a kisser,
444
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:47,826
according to my therapist.
So... what do you say?
445
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,567
Do you want to go out
with me on a date?
446
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:55,282
Um... do you mean to a
restaurant or something?
447
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,808
'Cause I just
want to make sure
448
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,353
that we're talking
about the same thing.
449
00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,848
Yes. Yes. On a date.
450
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,179
You know, I flash my teeth,
you flash your--
451
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,545
You know, a date.
452
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,489
Okay.
453
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,861
But, um you should know
454
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,160
that my brother
and my ex-husband
455
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,790
are going to be devastated.
456
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:17,597
They think I'm crazy.
457
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,380
What are you doing?
458
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,910
Have you lost your mind?!
459
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,684
What's the matter?
460
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:36,183
You can't just come up
and touch me any time you want.
461
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,186
We had an arrangement.
462
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:40,815
We'll have sex out of necessity
at predetermined times
463
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,623
that are mutually convenient
for both of us.
464
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,226
Mutually convenient?!
465
00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:49,359
We're not setting up an
appointment with the cable guy.
466
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:50,926
We're back together.
467
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,433
Why would you think that?
468
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,695
Christine-- last night?
Remember?
469
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,644
Massage oil, four hours,
470
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:59,269
the neighbors called to ask
if our guinea pig was okay.
471
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,466
It's just sex, Richard.
472
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,878
I thought you said
you could separate.
473
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:06,882
I don't think I can.
474
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,323
I love you.
475
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,318
Richard, don't say that.
476
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,350
If you love me, then we're
not going to be able
to live together.
477
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,515
Then I guess we're not going
to be able to live together,
478
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:18,334
because every time I see your
face, it breaks my heart.
479
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:20,788
Oh, Richard.
480
00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:26,425
Starting tomorrow, I'm going
to look for my own place.
481
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,536
Oh.
482
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:34,910
Well... then tonight,
would it be okay if we...
483
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,622
...went to our sushi place?
484
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,821
That's what I thought
you were going to say.
485
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:50,518
It's just that my mother
has never acknowledged
486
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:52,957
anything that I've ever done.
487
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:55,802
(voice breaking):
She's never been on my side.
488
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:57,498
I don't mean to rush you--
489
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,870
and this is terrific
date banter-- but, uh...
490
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,869
could we continue this
conversation at the restaurant?
491
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,802
Oh, Max, I'm so sorry.
492
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:07,707
I don't know how I ended up
telling you my whole life story.
493
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:10,010
You're just so easy to talk to
494
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,552
and my mom is such a bitch.
495
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,323
We're not dating, are we?
496
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,448
Oh, no, no, no!
We are. We are.
497
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:19,424
Just... we're getting
to know each other.
498
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,422
What's your mom like?
499
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,563
Mine's a bitch.
500
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:28,995
I think I might need a therapist
more than a boyfriend.
501
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:32,568
Oh, God, yes.
502
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:35,499
I really am attracted
to you, though.
503
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,495
Maybe it's because
of your connection
504
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,467
to my brother Matthew and...
505
00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:42,006
Ew.
506
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:45,411
I am really sick.
507
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:48,575
Boy, you know, this time I might
lose the license altogether.
33591
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