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1
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,179
Hey.
2
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,407
Hey, Barb.
3
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,051
Where's Richard?
4
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:14,346
I thought he was too depressed
to leave the house.
5
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:17,448
Yeah. I had Matthew take him
on a walk to air him out.
6
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:20,091
It's been three days
since that wedding fiasco,
7
00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,718
and he's still got that tux on.
8
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,462
(groans)
Poor thing.
9
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:26,287
God. It's just killing me
to see him like this.
10
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:32,471
You might want to
try saying that
11
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:35,336
without that big gummy
smile on your face.
12
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:36,696
I can't help it, Barb.
13
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,374
I mean, I'm just not that sad
14
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,242
that New Christine
is out of the picture.
15
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,481
You know, with no New Christine,
there's no Old Christine.
16
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:44,506
There's no more comparisons
to her.
17
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,352
No more Ritchie coming home
asking me,
18
00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:49,077
why does my bathing suit
have a skirt.
19
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,723
Why does your bathing
suit have a skirt?
20
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,819
Don't make me show you, Barb.
21
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:56,816
Hi. We're back
from our walk,
22
00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:58,764
and someone
is feeling much better.
23
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,729
You didn't mention
you-know-who even once.
24
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,358
Who?
New Christine.
25
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:03,403
(groans)
26
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,127
I love her so much.
27
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,573
I can't stop thinking about her.
28
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,667
She was perfect in every way.
29
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,239
Everything reminds me of her.
30
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:12,768
Except you.
31
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,613
Hey, is someone
making garlic fries?
32
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,438
No.
Then, Richard, you stink.
33
00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:19,284
You need to get
out of that tux.
34
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,180
I can't. All my clothes
are at the house.
35
00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:22,722
MATTHEW:
I'm sure New Christine
36
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,386
wouldn't mind if you went over
and grabbed your stuff.
37
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:26,215
She must have cooled down
a little by now.
38
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:27,260
Oh, she's cooled down.
39
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,455
She's cold.
40
00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:30,156
She feels nothing for me.
41
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:31,288
And you know
what indifference means?
42
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:32,632
I do.
43
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:35,326
But I couldn't use it
in a sentence.
44
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:38,265
It means it's over.
45
00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:39,666
And it kills me.
46
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,597
Okay, Barb and I
will go by the house
47
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,802
and get you some clean clothes.
Would you like that?
48
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:46,274
Yeah. We'll pick you up
a nice pair of khakis.
49
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:49,344
Maybe your "Bikini
Inspector" T-shirt.
50
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:52,613
I should probably get this tux
back to the rental place anyway.
51
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,323
I think that tux
is yours.
52
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,289
(sighs)
53
00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:58,615
Okay, you know what?
54
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,319
It's enough feeling sorry
for yourself.
55
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:01,761
It's time
to snap out of it.
56
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:02,855
I can't.
57
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,186
I don't know how.
58
00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:07,232
(sighs) I do.
59
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,628
I didn't want to have
to resort to this,
60
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:12,729
but I think I know what'll
get you out of this funk.
61
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,573
How about
if I let you...
62
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,209
to my...
63
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:20,366
Then I let you...
64
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,514
mouth.
65
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:27,576
I just feel like talking.
66
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,551
(groans) I'm out.
67
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:37,530
(TV playing)
68
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:38,885
CHRISTINE:
Hey!
69
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,332
Big news, Pig-Pen.
70
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,359
So...
71
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:43,563
I was trying
to think of a way
72
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,274
to cheer you up,
and I started thinking--
73
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:47,366
you know what, this is
the first time since college
74
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,738
that we've both been single
at the same time.
75
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,837
Remember how much fun
we had back then?
76
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,839
So, guess what I did.
77
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,811
I called the old gang.
78
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,779
Everyone's getting together
tonight for drinks.
79
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,648
The old gang?
Yeah.
80
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:03,447
Everyone. Candy, Bong Hit, The
Douche.
81
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,719
And-- guess what--
more good news.
82
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:11,261
Candy is single again,
and she asked about you.
83
00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:13,759
She did?
84
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,531
Hot Sticky Candy is single?
85
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,270
How come I get Old Christine
and she gets Hot Sticky?
86
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,467
What if we compromise
and give you Old Sticky?
87
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:26,441
Last time we compromised,
we got Ritchie.
88
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:31,507
So, what do you think?
89
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:32,812
You want to go?
90
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,453
I guess so.
91
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,418
The Douche was
always a good hang,
92
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,387
even though he was
a bit of a douche.
93
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:39,546
Yeah.
94
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:40,623
Yeah, that
sounds like fun.
95
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:41,621
Thanks for doing that.
96
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:42,892
Oh, sure, of course.
97
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,530
I just want
to make you feel better.
98
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,755
I mean, this whole thing
has been really awful.
99
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:49,755
Try it again.
100
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,303
I mean, really awful.
101
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:55,502
Really... yeah,
you know what?
102
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:56,673
I'm not going to lie.
103
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,710
This is a good time for me.
104
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,577
Oh, this is going
to be awkward.
105
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,622
I hate being around sad women.
106
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:14,018
You're a therapist,
and you live with Christine.
107
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,833
I've made some bad choices.
108
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:19,455
It's going to be fine.
109
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:20,590
Just don't mention Richard
or the wedding.
110
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,604
Keep it neutral.
111
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,725
Right.
112
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,597
Hey.
Hey.
113
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,869
Hey.
114
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,497
What are you guys doing here?
115
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:29,942
It's so good to see you.
116
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,737
Well, that's good.
We thought it might
117
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,539
be a little uncomfortable,
because of the whole...
118
00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:35,481
I said don't talk about that.
So, you look great.
119
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,976
Um, almost as good as
you looked at the...
120
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,808
What did I just say?
121
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:42,083
I'm so sorry, but what am
I supposed to talk about
122
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:45,022
if I don't talk about that
horrible, horrible wedding?
123
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,890
He's made some bad choices.
124
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,930
You guys, you don't have
to be uncomfortable.
125
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,455
I'm totally over it.
126
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:55,701
Of course, we can talk
about the wedding.
127
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,966
It was almost the most special
day of my life.
128
00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,965
Hey, you guys want a piece
of wedding cake?
129
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,097
I have so much.
130
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,071
Uh... no, actually, we just came
131
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:04,840
to pick up some stuff
for Richard.
132
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,738
Oh, sure. How is Richard?
133
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,781
He's a little down.
134
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:11,684
Why?
135
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,649
Uh, because of your...
136
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:14,947
the whole...
137
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,588
You dumped his ass
at your wedding.
138
00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,115
Oh, good grief.
139
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:21,389
He can't still be upset
about that.
140
00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,819
I'll wrap up some cake for him.
141
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,664
You... you seem really okay.
142
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:26,929
It's kind of remarkable.
143
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,527
I mean, it's only been
a few days.
144
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:29,659
These things happen.
145
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,903
Let me get that cake.
146
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,828
(whistling merrily)
147
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,703
Wow.
148
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:37,472
She is really
taking this well.
149
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,741
When Pete and I split up,
I was so mad,
150
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,110
I peed in his Range Rover.
151
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:49,116
And then I won it
in the divorce.
152
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,816
Yeah, and then you drove
me over here in it.
153
00:05:57,725 --> 00:06:00,885
Just be grateful
you didn't use Pete's golf bag.
154
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,996
Anyhoo...
155
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,438
I'm really worried
about New Christine.
156
00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:09,735
And a little
bit about you.
157
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:11,867
If she doesn't
find a way
158
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,542
to process her
feelings about this,
159
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:16,111
it'll manifest itself
later in an unhealthy way.
160
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,139
Well, what do we do?
161
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,184
You know what?
162
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:19,878
Let me work with her.
163
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,980
I've been around a lot of women
with unexpressed rage.
164
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:26,753
I've been around a lot of
women with expressed rage.
165
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:30,524
You better not
be looking at me.
166
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,894
You're going to pee in
my minivan, aren't you?
167
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,197
Here you go.
168
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,055
I think you're
going to like it.
169
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,974
We must have tasted 100
cakes before we picked this
170
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,766
from a tiny little bakery
up in San Francisco.
171
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:44,069
But what are you going to do?
172
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,741
Yeah, what are you going to do?
173
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,010
What do you mean?
174
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,208
Well, you must
have feelings
175
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,609
about everything
that's happened.
176
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,481
I don't.
Really?
177
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,950
I mean, you just wasted
the last four years
178
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,547
of your life
on that guy.
179
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,019
Oh, I don't know
that it was wasted.
180
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:59,187
When you met him,
you were 26 years old.
181
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,786
Now you're 30.
182
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,688
Trust me--
from a guy's perspective,
183
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:05,730
that's depreciation.
184
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:08,526
Well, yeah, I guess it
is kind of a big deal.
185
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,099
Big deal?
186
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:13,127
All your hopes and dreams
for the future are dead.
187
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,642
You're going to have to
start all over again.
188
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,508
And at 30.
189
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:25,814
I don't even think Richard
would date a 30-year-old.
190
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:28,123
Yeah, I guess it was
a little embarrassing.
191
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,045
A... a little embarrassing?
192
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:33,820
You were humiliated in front
of all your friends and family.
193
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,261
And then I ran all over
that church looking for him.
194
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,526
And where did you find him?
195
00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:38,525
In the rectory.
196
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:39,826
With whom?
Her.
197
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,527
Say her name.
198
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,695
Old Christine.
199
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,927
On your wedding day.
200
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:51,711
On my wedding day.
201
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:52,805
Who wants a drink?
202
00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:59,178
You got her
to start drinking.
203
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,849
That's always a good first step.
204
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:04,789
Yep. No matter how
many times I do it,
205
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,815
it always feels
good to heal.
206
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,233
(indistinct chattering)
207
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,002
Okay. Stop it,
all right?
208
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,167
You're as bad as Ritchie.
209
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,095
I had to sew his pockets shut.
210
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,770
I can't help it.
211
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:23,569
I had to borrow
Matthew's pants.
212
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:24,871
They're so tight.
213
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:27,582
You really got
to pick a side.
214
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:32,607
Okay, well, let's
find the old gang,
215
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,913
get this party started.
216
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,584
Is that them over there?
217
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:37,854
Oh.
218
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,591
I don't know.
219
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:40,887
God, it's been
such a long time.
220
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,818
I hardly recognize
anybody.
221
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,193
Christine, Richard.
222
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,659
Get your butts over here.
223
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:53,001
Why does that old
man know our names?
224
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,900
Christine...
225
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:57,142
I think that old man
is The Douche.
226
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,912
No. No, it can't be.
227
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:02,738
He looks like
Nick Nolte.
228
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:08,052
Did they come from the future
to warn us about something?
229
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,148
Oh, they're waving us over.
What are we going to do?
230
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,891
Run. They don't look
like they can catch us.
Oh...
231
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,046
No, no.
We're going over.
232
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,294
We're going over.
(groans)
233
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,888
RICHARD: Hey.
CHRISTINE: Oh, wow!
234
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,930
You guys made it.
235
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:20,186
Hey, look at you guys.
236
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,763
You haven't
changed a bit.
237
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,102
Oh. You... either.
238
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,897
Yeah, I mean,
239
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:26,899
just great.
240
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,300
Yeah, no change.
241
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,901
It's just... it's shocking.
242
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,944
And I... I'm sorry, sir.
243
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,910
I don't know you, but I'm sure
you haven't changed, either.
244
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,009
Christine, it's me,
Larry Babitz.
245
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,181
You were my senior advisor.
246
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,820
Oh... no, no.
Yes!
247
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,816
No, no, no. No, no, no.
248
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,788
WOMAN:
Richard!
249
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:49,057
Don't I get a hug?
250
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,294
Candy?
251
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,702
Is that... is that
you under there?
252
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,829
CANDY: Aw...
Hey, come on, you
guys, sit down.
253
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,671
I'll go get us
some drinks.
Oh, no, no.
254
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:02,937
You sit. You look like you've
had a long, uh... life.
255
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,296
(laughing)
256
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,414
Richard and I will...
will get the drinks.
257
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,776
(sighs)
258
00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:09,735
Oh, my God. I got to get
out of here.
259
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,713
I think I'm having
a panic attack.
260
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,682
Alcohol!
261
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,182
Relax. What is
your problem?
262
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:18,794
Do you see them?
263
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,016
Yeah.
It's the old gang.
264
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,290
Yeah, the old gang.
265
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:25,358
The really old gang.
The Old Testament gang.
266
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:28,298
Calm down. We're
the same age.
267
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,895
We probably don't look that
great to them, either.
268
00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:31,097
We're just used
to each other.
269
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,695
Don't say that.
270
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:35,972
What is the problem?
271
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,399
The problem is,
272
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,914
I was starting to feel
really great about myself.
273
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:41,167
I thought getting rid
of New Christine
274
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,784
would solve my problem.
275
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,246
But New Christine
doesn't make me old.
276
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,975
I am old.
277
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,750
I'm Old Christine.
278
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:49,779
Okay, okay.
279
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:50,753
Okay, okay, listen.
280
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:51,851
You have to calm down.
281
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:54,292
Calm down?
Would you look at them?
282
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,817
Doesn't that make you
feel bad about yourself?
283
00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:59,828
All right, look.
284
00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,127
Look, you have
to understand.
285
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:02,428
I'm just coming out
of a relationship
286
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:03,999
with a much
younger woman.
287
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,827
That made me
feel old.
288
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,273
She didn't have to
take fiber pills
289
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,397
or cholesterol pills
290
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,341
or sex pills
or joint pills.
291
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:13,467
Richard, what's going on
with you?
292
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:16,083
Look, I want to stay.
293
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,406
I think Candy was giving
me the eye.
294
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:19,911
She wasn't giving you
the eye.
295
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,823
She has glaucoma.
296
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,091
All right, look.
Maybe they didn't take
297
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:28,386
such great care of themselves,
but they're our oldest friends.
298
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:31,188
Yeah. Apparently we all survived
the Titanic together.
299
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:37,400
Oh, God, I can't do this.
This is too depressing.
300
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,967
Think of it this way:
You'll be the hottest
woman at the table.
301
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,097
All right, one drink.
302
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:54,481
(clattering)
303
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,351
What's she doing
in there?
304
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,519
My teacher said sometimes you
have to give people permission
305
00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,388
to express their anger.
306
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,487
We gave her permission,
she's expressing it.
307
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,789
We have done a
good thing.
308
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,203
Here you go.
309
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,855
I have 50 bottles of this
to kill.
310
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,463
We can each have our own. Here.
311
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,496
I'd like to make a toast:
312
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:17,042
Richard is a son of a bitch.
313
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,467
Here! Here!
314
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,441
That's great.
Healthy.
315
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,110
I'll go get his stuff for you.
I'll be right back.
316
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,080
Well, she is right
on track.
317
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:28,048
You did it. She's behaving like
a normal human being.
318
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,478
Don't act so surprised.
319
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,122
This is my life's work.
320
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,348
I've been at it for almost
nine months now.
321
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,893
(bottles clinking)
322
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,218
I grabbed a few
of his favorite things.
323
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:37,993
His high school
basketball jersey.
324
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,461
His baseball cap collection.
325
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,389
His old man pills.
326
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,534
And finally, the thing he loves
more than he ever loved me,
327
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,400
his Fast and the Furious
fan club jacket
328
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,428
signed by Vin Diesel.
329
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,944
I'm sure he'll be happy
to have those back.
330
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,837
Oh, no, we're going to burn
this mother up.
331
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:56,982
Still okay?
332
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,847
(whispers):
I think I need to
call my teacher.
333
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:03,378
(all laughing)
334
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,893
Wait, and then
you came barreling
335
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,346
out of the dorm room
336
00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:09,524
wearing only
your underwear.
337
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:12,492
And... and Barb was
chasing you
338
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,902
and you were screaming.
339
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:17,055
"Please don't kill me!"
340
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,874
(all laughing)
341
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:22,902
(cackling)
342
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,573
(sighing)
343
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,871
Oh, those were
good times.
344
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:37,121
They sure were, doll.
345
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:38,587
They really were. I'm so glad
346
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,285
that we all got together.
347
00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,287
Hey, where's Bong Hit?
Is he coming?
348
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:43,889
Yeah, where's Bong Hit?
349
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,561
Oh, no, no,
don't worry.
350
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,888
I know he's married.
351
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,204
I'm totally over him.
352
00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:50,155
I mean, besides,
I married Richard.
353
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,533
I won.
354
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,571
Uh, Christine,
355
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,566
Bong Hit's dead.
356
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,338
What?
357
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,367
How?
358
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,411
Natural causes.
359
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,407
Went in his sleep.
360
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,909
That's how I want to go.
361
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:06,912
Go?
362
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:10,154
Wait, wait, wait,
where's everybody going?
363
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:12,020
Saddest part?
364
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,589
His grandkids were the ones
that found him.
365
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,617
That's so sad.
Mmm.
366
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:20,163
You probably don't want
to be alone tonight.
367
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,326
Oh, my God.
368
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:25,631
That's terrible!
369
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:27,332
Oh, it happens
to all of us.
370
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:29,344
And I've been
afraid to ask:
371
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:30,636
Where's Barb?
372
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,307
Is she still alive?
373
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,410
Barb?
374
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,177
Yeah, of course she's alive.
375
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:38,176
Last time I saw her.
376
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:40,608
Oh, my God, Barb.
377
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,415
God.
378
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,460
Can you believe it?
379
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,416
Bong Hit is dead?!
380
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,964
We just saw him.
381
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,430
Yeah, 23 years ago.
382
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,628
What? No.
383
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,969
That's not possible.
384
00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:59,325
If I'm 35...
385
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,632
It's 1997.
386
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,973
Oh, shut up.
387
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,469
I'm having a hard night.
388
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,111
You're having a hard night!
389
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:08,206
Candy gave me a fake number.
390
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:14,053
I can't believe I just spent
three days sitting on a couch.
391
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,647
We should be living
every moment.
392
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:16,978
Yeah, right?
393
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,354
I mean, you know what?
394
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,651
Before we know it,
395
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,092
we are going to be old
like those guys.
396
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,488
And then it's going
to be too late.
397
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:23,659
We are still young.
398
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,056
We are still vibrant.
399
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,658
And, you know, if I may say so,
400
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,999
we are great-looking.
401
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,702
You may say so.
402
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:33,698
We are great-
looking.
Yeah.
403
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,500
We're in the prime of our lives.
404
00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:37,242
We didn't let ourselves go.
405
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:38,707
Yeah, this may be the best
I've ever looked.
406
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,705
Let's not go crazy.
All right,
well, I'm...
407
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:44,137
I'm just saying we shouldn't
be wasting this time.
408
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,054
Want to have sex?
409
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:45,675
Okay.
410
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:46,678
What?
411
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,479
Yeah, let's have sex.
412
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:51,021
Oh, that... that was just
a knee-jerk reaction.
413
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:53,018
I always just kind of
throw it out there
414
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,020
whenever I see a woman is sad.
415
00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,022
Or mad. Or happy.
416
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:58,734
Or lost.
417
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,255
I mean, why shouldn't we
have sex?
418
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,660
You know, I want
to enjoy life.
419
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,501
I enjoy having sex with you,
so let's do it.
420
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:04,696
Let's do it.
421
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:05,627
Okay, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
422
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,202
I-I...
423
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,340
I need just 15 minutes
of prep time, okay?
424
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,336
Well, no, 30.
425
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:14,668
Yeah, okay, 45.
426
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,184
I'll give you 15 and a dark room
with a slight buzz.
427
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:19,247
All right, deal.
428
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:20,346
Okay, you know what?
429
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:21,577
No, that's not necessary.
430
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,481
I'll just call you
when I'm ready.
431
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,748
(exhaling): Okay.
432
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:38,804
Hey, look who's
off the couch.
433
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,068
Dudes, get out of here.
434
00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:42,237
I'm doing something.
435
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,395
Oh, boy.
436
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,113
Someone's feeling better.
437
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,105
He's calling us
"dudes" again.
438
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,507
And he's dressed like
Miley Cyrus.
439
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:55,379
Those are my clothes.
440
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:58,092
You can pull it off.
441
00:16:58,085 --> 00:17:00,085
Tell him what you did
to New Christine.
442
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:01,547
New Christine?
443
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,224
What about New Christine?
444
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,723
Uh, well, we went over there
to get your clothes,
445
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,134
and we may have
inadvertently
446
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,756
made things a little
worse for you.
447
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,100
How could it be worse?
448
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:10,256
I don't even exist for her.
449
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,103
Well, let me ask you this:
450
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:13,669
How much do you love
The Fast and the Furious?
451
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:16,236
Oh, my God, I love
The Fast and the Furious.
452
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:19,266
Uh, well, uh,
we were concerned
453
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:22,482
that perhaps New Christine
wasn't dealing with her anger
454
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,505
over the breakup,
but...
455
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:27,811
I can tell you're still thinking
about The Fast and the Furious.
456
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:31,124
It's just the perfect movie.
457
00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:33,288
Look, Richard,
this is bad.
458
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,846
New Christine is pissed.
459
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:37,764
She burned your clothes, she
ran over your Gameboy,
460
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,757
and she flushed your
cowboy hat.
461
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:40,789
She did?
462
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,633
She's that mad?
463
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,399
I didn't think she cared.
464
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,397
Well, not anymore.
I've never seen anyone that mad.
465
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,529
She hates you.
466
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:48,744
Hates you.
Hates you.
467
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:51,295
Hates you.
468
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,814
Okay, okay, I get it.
469
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,235
And I must say,
470
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,511
when I found out you
had a cowboy hat,
471
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:59,509
kind of made me
hate you, too.
472
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,852
I'm so sorry
she hates you.
473
00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:04,148
I was just trying to get her
to admit her feelings.
474
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:06,821
This is fantastic.
475
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,489
It is?
476
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,358
Oh, yeah. Hate is so much better
than apathy.
477
00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:12,587
Hate is practically love.
478
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:16,532
Well, then she
loves you.
479
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:17,799
I'm serious.
480
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,167
It's a passionate feeling.
481
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,626
It means she still cares.
482
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:22,503
It means I might even
still have a chance.
483
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:23,802
Okay.
484
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,273
I'm going over there.
485
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:26,442
I'm going to tell her
how I feel.
486
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:27,709
I'm going
to get her back.
487
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:28,737
Thanks, you guys.
488
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,841
You saved me.
489
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,583
(door closes)
490
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:35,749
Did you think that was how
that was going to go down?
491
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,418
You know, I have
to be honest,
492
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:41,187
the crazy in this house
is way out of my league.
493
00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:43,458
CHRISTINE:
Ten minutes away!
494
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,200
Oh, God.
495
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,197
Oh, dudes, get out of here!
496
00:18:52,199 --> 00:18:54,629
I'm doing something.
497
00:18:56,569 --> 00:19:00,369
Now I know why you needed that
skirt on your bathing suit.
498
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,513
Get out!
499
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,338
Get out!
500
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,811
Richard.
501
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,283
What are you doing here?
502
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:11,681
I heard you were angry.
503
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,524
Angry doesn't begin to describe
504
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:15,891
how I feel about you.
505
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,688
Go on.
506
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,531
Shut up, Richard.
I hate you.
507
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:21,827
I wish I never met you.
508
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,228
I wish you were dead.
509
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,901
What are you smiling at,
jackass?
510
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,769
You still love me.
511
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,439
How are you getting love
from hate?
512
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:33,368
I curse the day I met you.
513
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,713
I can't believe I wasted four
years of my life with you.
514
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:39,408
Hate is the cousin of love.
515
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,912
Hate is the sister of murder.
516
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,954
Get off my property!
517
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:47,920
Wow. We're going to have some
really great make-up sex.
518
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:57,902
Okay, I'm ready!
519
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:05,837
Uh... (stammers)
520
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,938
uh, ten more minutes!
33265
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