Original subtitles

>> ♪...

>> HI, TINY.

I THINK IT’S TIME I TOLD YOU

HOW YOU CAME INTO THIS WORLD.

AND EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE WAY TOO

YOUNG TO HEAR THIS, YOU SHOULD

HEAR IT FROM ME INSTEAD OF

SOMEONE ELSE.

YOUR MOM WAS ONCE

THE GIRL NEXT DOOR.

BUTI LOVE SEX, AND SOME

PEOPLE THOUGHT IT WAS

A BAD THING.

>>

>>PEOPLE HAVE CALLED ME A SLUT,

BUT I HAVE LEARNED THAT A SLUT

IS JUST A WOMAN WITH

THE MORALS OF A MAN.

>> GOOD BOY!

AH!

OH...

AAAH! WHOO-HOO!

>> HA HA HA!

>> WHO’S YOUR BIG MAMA?

>>YOU’REMY BIG MAMA.

>> NOW IT’S YOUR TURN.

>> UM, WHAT?

>> COME HERE.

DADDY, I’VE BEEN A BAD GIRL.

>> EXCUSE ME?

>> SPANK ME.

>> OKAY.

>> HARDER.

>>

>> MOST GUYS CAN’T

HANG WITH ME.

>> "MOST" GUYS?

>> I WONDER WHAT THE RECORD IS

FOR THE MOST TIMES ANYONE’S EVER

HAD SEX IN ONE NIGHT?

>> MMM...

I DON’T KNOW, BUT...I THINK

IT’S SAFE TO SAY WE BROKE

THE NORTH AMERICAN RECORD.

>> WOULDN’T GARLIC ICE CREAM

BE PERFECT RIGHT NOW?

>> MMM. I COULD GO FOR

SOME CORN ICE CREAM.

>> I THINK YOU CAN MIX ANYTHING

WITH ICE CREAM AND IT’D

STILL BE GOOD.

>> WHAT ABOUT KIMCHI?

>> THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS YUMMY.

SO TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOURSELF.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

>> OH...

WHY DON’T WE JUST LIE HERE

AND THINK ABOUT ICE CREAM?

>> WAIT.

DON’T MOVE. I WANT TO TAKE

YOUR PICTURE JUST LIKE THAT.

>> NO--

>>I CREATE ONE EVERY TIME

I HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE

TO REMIND ME WHERE I’VE BEEN.

KIND OF LIKE POSTCARDS.

>>

>> OH, YOU.

>>

>> HMM. GOOD MORNING.

I DIDN’T, UH...

KNOW YOU WERE SO INTO COOKING.

>> I’M NOT. I’M AN EATER.

I LIKE LOOKING AT THE PICTURES.

IT’S MY PORN.

>>

I LIKE THAT.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

I’D REALLY LIKE TO SEE YOUR ART.

AH.

>> HE’S MY SUPERMODEL.

I CAN’T QUITE SEEM TO

GET HIM RIGHT, THOUGH.

I’VE BEEN WORKING ON HIM

FOR A YEAR.

>> CHALAMUSHI.

YOU DIDN’T THINK I’D KNOW?

>> YOU NEVER STRUCK ME

AS A FOODIE.

>> AH.

>>

>> Angela:GABRIEL?

HELLO, GABRIEL, ARE YOU THERE?

>> HELLO, ANGELA.

>>OH, THANK GOD. I NEED YOU

TO GO TO THE STORE RIGHT NOW

AND BUY ME THREE

HOME PREGNANCY TESTS.

>> OKAY, BUT--

WHAT ARE THEY GONNA THINK

IF THEY SEEMEBUYING

A HOME PREGNANCY TEST?

>>OH, MY GOD, YOU’RE GAY--

NO ONE’S GONNA THINK ANYTHING!

>> OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

>>JUST ONE LAST THING

I NEED FROM YOU,

ONE LAST FAVOR.

PLEASE? PLEASE!

>> OKAY, I’LL BE THERE

IN HALF A MINUTE.

OKAY.

OKAY, WAIT. MAYBE TEN.

>> HE’S A HOTTIE.

>>MISTERHOTTIE.

>> YEAH. SO, THE CUTE CHECKER

FINALLY GAVE ME HIS

PHONE NUMBER.

IT’S IRONIC HE ONLY TALKED TO ME

AFTER HE THOUGHT I WAS STRAIGHT.

>> DIDN’T HE THINK IT WAS A BAD

SIGN YOU WERE BUYINGTHREE

HOME PREGNANCY TESTS?

>> I TOLD HIM THEY WERE

FOR MY MOM.

SHE’S A REGULAR AT THE STORE.

SO, I WOULD NOT STRESS.

>> I’M NOT STRESSED.

>> I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT

YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT.

>> THANK GOD, BUT HOW

WOULD YOU KNOW THAT?

>> WELL, YOUR HOROSCOPE DIDN’T

SAY ANYTHING ABOUT SURPRISES

THIS MORNING.

>> CHECK AGAIN.

>> HOW ACCURATE CAN

THOSE THINGS BE?

>> NINETY-NINE POINT EIGHT

PERCENT OF THE TIME.

>> HAVE YOU EVER HEARD

OF THE PILL?

>> IT MAKES ME FEEL BLOATED.

>> OH. AND THIS ISSOMUCH

BETTER.

>> YOU’RE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME

TO RELAX AND HAVE FUN.

>> I NEVER TOLD YOU TO HAVE

UNPROTECTED SEX.

DO YOU HAVEANYIDEA

WHO THE DADDY COULD BE?

>> COULD BE ANYONE.

>> HOW MANY PEOPLE COULD YOU

HAVE SLEPT WITH IN THE LAST

TWO MONTHS?

WHERE ARE YOUR CARDS?

ALL RIGHT. PICK OUT THE PEOPLE

YOU SLEPT WITH IN THE LAST

TWO MONTHS.

DAMN, GIRL!

ALL RIGHT. PICK OUT THE PEOPLE

YOU DIDN’T USE PROTECTION WITH.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT’S BETTER.

5-SECOND GUY...

NICE-BUT-BORING...

MYSTERY MAN...

OH, AND MR. HOTTIE.

>>

>> Woman: ANGELA?

>> OHH!

>> ANGELA, OPEN THIS DOOR!

WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET

FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT.

I DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW

WHAT YOU WERE DOING INSTEAD.

SO WHAT WERE YOU DOING?

WHERE WERE YOU?

>> I THOUGHT YOU SAID

YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW.

>> CONGRATULATE ME!

I THINK I’M PREGNANT.

>> WHO’S THE FATHER?

ANGELA, HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW

WHO THE FATHER IS?

>> I...KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS.

KIND OF.

>> WELL, WHAT ARE THOSE?

>> THEY’RE LIKE...

BASEBALL CARDS.

>> BUTSOMUCH BETTER.

>> ANGELA, I’M REALLY

DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.

ALL RIGHT...

DO YOU WANT MY SISTERLY ADVICE?

>> NO.

>> MAYBE THIS IS GOD’S WAY OF

SAYING SETTLE DOWN, GROW UP,

AND BE TRULY HAPPY FOR ONCE

IN YOUR LIFE.

>> YOUMUSTBE JOKING!

LOOK, I WILL GO TO

THE CLINIC WITH YOU.

MY IRRESPONSIBLE SINGLE MOM

REALLY FUCKED ME UP.

>> ABORTION IS MURDER.

>> REALLY?

>> YEAH.

>> ANGELA CANNOT TAKE CARE

OF THIS BABY ON HER OWN.

>> WOULD YOU STAY OUT OF

OUR FAMILY BUSINESS?

>> HE’S RIGHT. I CAN’T TAKE

CARE OFMYSELF,LET ALONE

ANOTHER PERSON.

>> YOU ARE NOT THAT YOUNG

ANYMORE.

AND EVEN IF YOU FOUND THE RIGHT

GUY, IT IS GOING TO BE HARDER

AND HARDER FOR YOU TO

HAVE A BABY.

YOU’D BE SURPRISED HOW HARD IT

WAS FOR ME TO HAVE THE TWINS

BECAUSE I WAITED TOO LONG.

>> CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU’RE PREGNANT.

>> HOW LONG?

>> SEVEN WEEKS.

>> I MEAN, HOW MUCH LONGER

DO I HAVE?

>> WELL, IT USUALLY TAKES

ABOUT 40 WEEKS, BUT THE BABY

WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN

IT’S READY.

>> WHAT IFI’MNOT READY?

IS THERE SOME WAY TO

SLOW IT DOWN?

>> WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IT?

>> IT LOOKS LIKE A PEANUT.

>> OKAY.

>> MAYBEWECAN GET MARRIED.

>> HA HA HA!

>> WE CAN RAISE THE KID

TOGETHER.

>> I’D RATHER DIE.

IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S JUST THE IDEA

OF BEING WITH YOU...

FOREVER.

ANYWAY, I THOUGHT WE DECIDED

YOU WERE GONNA GET IT

TAKEN CARE OF.

>> I WAS JUST THINKING

OUT LOUD.

>> HMM.

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

LAWRENCE FROM THE

CONVENIENCE STORE?

>> UH-HUH.

I’VE SEEN HIM EVERY DAY

THIS WEEK.

>> HE’S YOUNG.

>> I KNOW.

>> DOES HE KNOW WHAT KIND

OF GUY YOU ARE?

>> WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED

TO MEAN?

>> DOES HE KNOW ABOUT

ALL YOUR ISSUES?

>> OH, NOW I HAVE ISSUES?

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH, I TOLD HIM.

>> AND YOU’RE STILL GONNA

GO TO LAS VEGAS WITH HIM

AND VISIT YOUR GRANDPARENTS?

>> AND?

>> HE’S YOUNG AND CANADIAN.

HE’S GONNA GET THE WRONG IDEA.

>> HEY!

>> JESUS, YOU ALREADY

SOLD HIM TO ME.

>> SHUT UP.

HEY, YOU.

>> ANGELA.

SO YOU’RE THE ONE

THAT MAKES THE CARDS.

>> YEAH.

>> HAS GABRIEL MADE ONE

FOR ME YET?

>> NO.

>> GOOD. WHY DON’T WE

KEEP IT THAT WAY?

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY?

>> OH, GOD, I THINK

I’M GONNA BE SICK.

NO, SERIOUSLY.

OH--!

>>♪ NINE-INCH REMEDY

♪ I NEED A NINE-INCH REMEDY

♪ I NEED A NINE-INCH REMEDY

♪ I NEED A NINE-INCH REMEDY

>>

>> HI, ANGELA.

>> I DIDN’T KNOW YOU

WORKED HERE.

>> I’M ACTUALLY ABOUT TO

GO ON BREAK.

>>

>> DID YOU HEAR THAT?

>> HEAR WHAT?

>> I--I’M SORRY.

I CAN’T.

>> YOU CAN’T EVEN SMOKE ANYMORE.

>> CANDY CIGS. YOU WANT ONE?

>> DO I WANT CANDY CIGS?

>> UH-HUH.

>> NO.

>> NO SMOKING, NO DRINKING,

NO COFFEE. GETTING KNOCKED UP

IS THE WORST STDEVER.

>> THAT GUY GAVE ME SOME COKE.

YOU WANT SOME?

WHAT? IT’S NOT LIKE

YOU’RE GONNA KEEP IT.

>> I’M TOO OLD FOR THIS.

>> YOU’RE NOT TOO OLD.

>> I FOUND ANOTHER WHITE

PUBIC HAIR THIS MORNING!

>> HELLO.

IS ANYONE HOME?

>> Angela:I NEVER QUITE GOT

ALONG WITH YOUR AUNT.

I WAS THE REBEL, AND SHE WAS

THE GOOD GIRL WITH THE PERFECT

HUSBAND AND TWO KIDS STRAIGHT

OUT OF THE GAP CATALOGUE.

I WOULDN’T HAVE ADMITTED IT

THEN, BUT PART OF ME WANTED

THAT LIFE.

>> SO, HOW WAS YOUR TRIP, DAD?

>> Both: IT WAS AMAZING!

>> EVERYONE SHOULD TRY PEYOTE

AT LEAST ONCE.

>> IT TOTALLY FREES THE MIND.

>> AND YOU KNOW WHAT

WE FOUND OUT? WE HAVE

THE SAME ANIMAL SPIRIT.

WE HAVE WOLVES WATCHING OVER US.

>>

>> I’M READY FOR DESSERT.

>> WELL, I THINK SHE’S

HANDLING IT PRETTY GOOD.

>> COULD HAVE BEEN MUCH WORSE.

MUCHWORSE.

>> AT LEAST YOU’VE TURNED OUT

PRETTY WELL.

>> THANKS, DAD.

>> DID YOU SEE HOW YOUNG SHE IS?

I MEAN, SHE’S YOUNGER THAN US.

IT’S LIKE DAD IS DATING ONE OF

OUR FRIENDS’ YOUNGER SISTERS.

>> GOOD FOR DAD. HE DESERVES

TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN AFTER

EVERYTHING HE’S GONE THROUGH,

DON’T YOU THINK?

OR MAYBE NOT.

SHE SEEMED A LITTLE YOUNG.

>> LET’S TALK ABOUT...YOU.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

HAVE YOU STARTED LOOKING

FOR THE FATHER YET?

>> I’M TIRED. I DON’T WANT

TO TALK ABOUT ME.

>> ANGELA, IF YOU ARE NOT

CAREFUL, THIS COULD BE

YOUR FUTURE.

>> WHO’S YOUR MAMA?!

>>

>> WHO’S YOUR MAMA?!

>>

>> WHO’S YOUR GRANDMAMA?

>> WE NEED TO TALK.

SOMETIMES IT TAKES AN

UNEXPECTED MISTAKE--

I MEAN MIRACLE--

TO WAKE PEOPLE UP.

YOU’RE MY MIRACLE.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT

I’M TRYING TO SAY?

I SHOULD FIGURE OUT

WHO THE FATHER IS.

>> YOU’RE SERIOUS ABOUT

HAVING THIS BABY?

>> IS THAT CRAZY?

>> YOU WANT THE TRUTH?

>> OF COURSE.

>> IT’SINSANE.

OH! OH, OH!

>> OH! OH!

>> YOU SHOULDSELLIT!

YEAH! PEOPLE ARE PAYING

LIKE $40,000 TO ADOPT BABIES

FROM CHINA.

>> DON’T SAY THAT. I DON’T WANT

THE BABY TO HEAR ANYTHING

NEGATIVE.

>> YOU’RE THE ONE WHO SAID YOU

DIDN’T WANT TO HAVE KIDS.

>> NOW THAT IT’S HAPPENING,

I’M GONNA GO WITH IT.

SO SHUT UP AND HELP ME

FIGURE OUT WHO THE FATHER IS.

>> I PUT MY MONEY ON

5-SECOND GUY.

IT’S ALWAYS THE QUICK ONES.

>>

>> COME ON, YOU’RE

RUINING MY BUZZ.

WHOO!

WHOO!

HEY.

>> HEY.

>> YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.

HAVE ME EVER MET BEFORE?

>>

>> YOU KNOW, IF I WAS AS PRETTY

AS YOU ARE...

I DON’T THINK I’D BE HERE

ALL ALONE.

>> OH.

>> I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED.

>> HMM?

OOH.

>> OKAY, CLOSE YOUR EYES.

CLOSE YOUR EYES, ALL RIGHT?

NOW...I’M GONNA KISS YOU.

OKAY?

>> REALLY?

>> I’M GONNA KISS YOU, THOUGH,

LIKE I’M GOING DOWN ON YOU.

>> OH...

MMM...MMM.

OH...MMM...

>>

>> WELL, COMEON.

>> JUST--JUST LET ME--

JUST LET ME PUT IT IN

AND WIGGLE IT AROUND

A LITTLE BIT, OKAY?

>> OKAY. I--UH--

>> UNH! UNH!

UNH! UNNHH!UNHH!

OH...OH...OH...

I CAN GO AGAIN.

>> SAY "CHEESE."

>> AND YOU WANT TO SEE HIM

AGAIN BECAUSE?

>> HE COULD BE THE FATHER.

>> OKAY.

>> WILL YOU COVER FOR ME?

>> UH-HUH.

>> THANKS.

>> CRAZY.

>> HI.

>> HEY.

>> UM, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GUY

AROUND HERE?

>> OH, YEAH.

ISN’T THISSENORQUICKIE?

>> YEP. I KNOW HIM.

>> MR. MINUTE MAN.

>> COMES IN HERE ALL THE TIME.

>> MR. OOPS.

MR. PREMATURE EJACULATOR.

>> LOOK, IF YOU’RE GONNA

SHOOT HIM, CAN WE WATCH?

IN FACT, YOU CAN HAVE HIM.

I’LL GIVE YOU HIS ADDRESS.

>> HE KNOCK YOU UP TOO?

I SWEAR, MY BROTHER COULD

IMPREGNATE BY SIGHT.

HE HAD THE STRONGEST

LITTLE SWIMMERS.

COME ON IN.

HE DIED A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO.

SUICIDE. DRUG OVERDOSE.

NO ONE KNOWS FOR SURE.

>> I’M--

>> OH, DON’T BE SORRY.

HE WAS A JACKAL.

>> ARE THEY ALL...

>> MM-HMM. HE WAS A REGULAR

JOHNNY BASTARD SEED.

>> HOW DO THEY ALL KNOW

THAT HE’S...THE--

>> YOU DON’T KNOW WHO

THE FATHER IS, DO YOU?

>>

>> I KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS.

>> MARISSA? YOUR PHONE.

>> EXCUSE ME.

>> Angela:OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

I KNOW IT’S EXTREMELY

DISRESPECTFUL...

BUT I HAD TO KNOW.

>> Gabriel: I DON’T KNOW

WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS.

IT WAS JUST A BEE-JAY.

>> I HOPE I’M JUST NOT

SOME FUCK-BUDDY TO YOU.

>> NO, THAT’S--

THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

>> THEN WHY DON’T YOUSAY

WHAT YOU MEAN?

>> IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL.

>> YOU KNOW, I REALLY LIKED YOU.

BUT YOU’RE JUST SOME

GAY CLICHE.

>> NO, LOOK. I JUST--

>> WHY IS THAT YOU DON’T KNOW

WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL HE YELLS

AT YOU AND SWEARS HE NEVER

WANTS TO SEE YOU AGAIN?

>> THERE’S A LOT OF FISH

IN THE SEA.

>> BUT HE’S THE ONLY ONE

I WANT TO MOUNT NOW.

>> YOU DO REALIZE YOU ALWAYS

LIKED HIM BUT WERE TOO AFRAID

TO ADMIT IT YOURSELF?

>> WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY

ANYTHING TO ME?

>> IDID.

I HAVE AN IDEA.

LET’S GET OUT OF HERE.

>> YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW

WHO THE FATHER IS YET.

>> IF I PLAN IT,

THE GROOM WILL COME.

>> YOU’RE COMPLETELY INSANE.

HEY...

CAN I PLAN MY WEDDING TOO?

>> WHY NOT? LET’S DO IT.

>> RIGHT?

>> OKAY.

>> HOW DO I LOOK?

TELL ME THE TRUTH.

>> YOU LOOK...

BETTER THAN ME.

>> HA HA HA HA!

I KNOW.

>> AND THE TIARA’S

A NICE TOUCH.

>> I KNOW, RIGHT?

>> IT’S CUTE.

>> Angela:DOES HE LOOK

FAMILIAR?

WHAT ABOUT HIM?

HELLO, BABY.

NO?

PLEASE TELL ME

IT’S NOT THIS GUY.

NOT FAMILIAR?

>> HONESTY IS THE KEY

TO ALL RELATIONSHIPS.

BUT IF YOU CAN FAKE IT,

YOU’RE IN.

NOBODY DIES A VIRGIN.

LIFE SCREWS US ALL.

>> SO, WHAT DO I DO

ABOUT LAWRENCE?

>> MEN ARE LIKE ROSES--

WATCH OUT FOR THE PRICKS.

>> WHERE ARE YOU GETTING

THESE ONE

THE INTERNET?

>> HOW’D YOU KNOW?

>> WHAT?! YOU FINALLY LEARNED

HOW TO USE THE INTERNET, DAD?

>> BECKY TAUGHT ME.

YOU’RE LIKE THE DOG CARRYING

THE BONE OVER THE BRIDGE.

AS HE WAS CROSSING THE BRIDGE,

HE SAW THIS REFLECTION.

HE THOUGHT IT WAS ANOTHER DOG

WITH A BONE.

SO HE REACHED FOR THE OTHER

BONE. HE LOST BOTH BONES.

YOU’RE THE DOG,

LAWRENCE IS THE BONE.

>> OKAY, SO WHAT DO IDO?

>> YOU JUMP IN AND FETCH

THE BONE.

>> BUT WHAT IF THE BONE

DOESN’T WANT TO BE FOUND?

>> YOU KEEP LOOKING.

A GOOD BONE IS HARD TO FIND.

>> HA HA HA HA!

YOU SHOULD PUT THAT

ON A FORTUNE COOKIE!

>> Angela: I WANT YOU

TO KNOW I’VE CHANGED.

I’M GONNA BE A DIFFERENT

PERSON NOW, OKAY?

>> YOU NEED SOME SERIOUS HELP.

>> SHE CAN HEAR YOU.

>> GO AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!

>> WEIRDO.

>> ALL RIGHT, WHO’S NEXT?

>> MYSTERY MAN.

>> HMM.

>> YOU KNOW, THE ONE

I KEEP HOOKING UP WITH.

>> YES.

>> MM-HMM. HOT.

>> MM-HMM.

>>

>> OH.

OKAY, HOT OR NOT?

>> HOT.

>> YEAH, DEFINITELY.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY,

GAY OR STRAIGHT?

>> STRAIGHT.

>> HOW DO YOU KNOW?

>> MY STRAIGHT-DAR

IS TINGLING.

>> HMM.

>> SEE? I TOLD YOU.

>> AND THERE IT IS.

ALL RIGHT, OFF YOU GO, GIRL.

SHOOT FOR HAPPY DAYS TO MAKE

FOR HAPPY NIGHTS.

>> OH! OKAY.

>> GOOD ONE.

>> IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE A GIRL

AND HER DOG AT THE PARK.

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE TO YOU?

>> I SEE COURAGE.

THOSE LINES ARE PAINTED WITH

SUCH AGGRESSIVE INTENTION,

IT MAKES ME THINK THE ARTIST

DOESN’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK

ABOUT HER.

>> YOU’RE ON CRACK.

>> HONESTY. NICE.

>> HONEST ANGELA.

>> CRACKHEAD JEFFERSON.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

>> NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.

>> DO YOU WANT TO COME?

>> NO. DO YOU?

>> JUST PULL OUT

BEFORE YOU COME.

>>

>>

>> SORRY.

I NEED YOUR SIGNATURE HERE.

>> YEAH. OKAY.

>> HEY, DON’T FORGET, WE HAVE

DINNER WITH THE KENGS

AT SIX-THIRTY TONIGHT.

>> OKAY, GREAT. THANKS.

OKAY, SO...

>> HEY, DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?

>> YEAH. WHAT’S UP?

>> UM....

>>

>> I WAS THINKING--

>> HOLD ON.

HI.

NO, OF COURSE I HAVE A SECOND.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> UNBELIEVABLE.

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?

>> WELL, I’M HANGING OUT

WITH YOU.

OKAY, THEN. I’LL CALL YOU LATER.

BYE.

>> OKAY.

THE MAYOR CANCELLED.

HIS MOM HAD A HEART ATTACK.

WHY ARE YOU SMILING?

>> COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

>> WE’RE CLOSED.

I’M KIDDING.

CHALAMUSHI.

BECAUSE FLOWERS ARE SO CLICHE.

I HAD THEM CLOSE FOR US TONIGHT.

I KNOW THE OWNER.

HE LET ME USE THE KITCHEN.

AND I THOUGHT...

THE REAL THING WOULD

INSPIRE YOU.

>> WHOAREYOU?

WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU DO,

MR. LEE?

>> HE’S RUNNING FOR

CITY COUNCIL.

>> THANKS.

>> WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME

YOU WERE A POLITICIAN?

>> I LIKED THE FACT

THAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW.

>> THANK YOU.

YOU REALLY MADE ALL THIS

FOR ME?

>> IT WAS NOTHIN’.

>> DON’T BE ASIAN.

>> SO...

HOW LONG YOU BEEN DRAWING?

>> OH, MY LIFE IS BORING.

LET’S TALK ABOUTYOU.

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE

A BIG

>> WELL, I’M NOT A BIG-TIME

POLITICIAN.

>> I’D VOTE FOR YOU.

>> REALLY? YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW

WHAT I STAND FOR.

>> OKAY, HITLER: BAD OR GOOD?

>> BAD.

>> SEE? I’D VOTE FOR YOU

ALREADY.

>> OKAY. FAMILY VALUES

ARE IMPORTANT TO ME.

I’M PRO-BUSINESS--

>> OKAY, MAYBE I WOULDN’T

VOTE FOR YOU AFTER ALL.

BUT MY SISTER WOULD.

>> REALLY? WHAT’S SHE

DOING RIGHT NOW?

SHE SOUNDS LIKE

THE BETTER SIBLING.

I’M JUST KIDDING.

>> HA HA. YOU’RE FUNNY.

THAT’S A GOOD THING. I DIDN’T

THINK CONSERVATIVES HAD

A SENSE OF HUMOR.

>> WOW.

>> OKAY, WHERE DO YOU SEE

YOURSELF IN FIVE YEARS?

>> WHAT IS THIS,

A JOB INTERVIEW?

>> I’M JUST CURIOUS.

>> I SEE MYSELF RUNNING FOR

THE STATE SENATE,

AND I’D BE MARRIED,

WITH TWO KIDS.

AND WE’D HAVE A BIG HOUSE

WITH A BIG YARD,

A DOG AND AN S.U.V.

WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHERE DO YOU

SEE YOURSELF IN FIVE YEARS?

>> I LIKE YOUR ANSWER.

>> GARLIC ICE CREAM,

CORN ICE CREAM,

AND KIMCHI ICE CREAM.

>> HOW ABOUT, UM, WE JUST

GO BACK TO MY PLACE?

>> WHAT IF I DON’T TELL HIM

I’M PREGNANT RIGHT AWAY?

GET HIM TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

AND CONVINCE HIM HE’S THE

BABY’S DAD.

>> WHAT IF THE BABY DOESN’T

LOOK ANYTHING LIKE HIM?

>> YOU’RE MISSING THE POINT.

HE LIKES ME, AND I LIKE HIM.

>> Dad: HEY! IF YOU TWO

SLOWPOKES KEEP TALKIN’,

YOU’LL NEVER KEEP UP WITH US!

>> HONEY, HE’S GONNA FIND OUT.

>> YOU HAVE A BETTER PLAN?

>> NO. AND WHAT DO I KNOW?

LAWRENCE STILL HASN’T CALLED ME.

>> YOU’RE PATHETIC.

>> CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

YOU PROMISE YOU WON’T LAUGH?

>> YOU KNOW I CAN’T

PROMISE YOU THAT.

>> I’M, UH...

THINKING ABOUT RE-VIRGINIZING.

AND I WANT YOU TO DO IT WITH ME.

I FOUND A GROUP THAT’LL

HELP US START OVER.

WE CAN WEAR WHITE TO

OUR WEDDING.

AND IT’LL MEAN SOMETHING.

>> VIRGINS ARE HAPPIER,

HEALTHIER, AND MORE INTELLIGENT

THAN THOSE WHO ENGAGE IN

PRE-MARITAL SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE

FORNICATORS WILL GO TO HELL...

WHILE THE RIGHTEOUS VIRGINS

LIVE ETERNALLY IN HEAVEN.

>> THIS IS WEIRD.

>> WHO WANTS TO GO TO HELL?

>> All: HELL, NO!

>> Both: UH, HELL, NO.

>> PLEASE RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND

AND REPEAT AFTER ME.

I SWEAR THAT I WILL NO LONGER

ENGAGE...

>> All: I SWEAR THAT

I WILL NO LONGER ENGAGE..

>> ...IN DEVIANT BODILY

TEMPTATIONS OF ANY KIND...

>> ...IN DEVIANT BODILY

TEMPTATIONS OF ANY KIND...

>> ...UNTIL I GET MARRIED.

>> ...UNTIL I GET MARRIED.

>> THAT MEANS EVEN

SINFUL SELF-PLEASURE.

NOW, IF EVERYONE CAN STAND

IN LINE...

>> THAT’S IT?

>> OH!

>> OKAY, SO, WE JUST HAVE TO GET

CLEANSED AND SIGN THE VIRGINITY

PLEDGE AND NOT ENGAGE IN ANY

SEX, AND WE GET OUR PURITY BACK.

>> THIS IS EASIER THAN

GETTING A DRIVER’S LICENSE.

>> REALLY?

>> Becky: DO YOU THINK DAD

IS LOSING HIS MIND?

>> HE SEEMS HAPPY.

>> HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

HE’SMISERABLE!

THAT IS EXACTLY WHY

HE’S ACTING LIKE YOU.

YOU KNOW, IT IS TIME THAT

YOU BOTH LEARN TO SETTLE DOWN

AND TAKE A DEEP BREATH,

YOU KNOW?

>> I’M ALREADY SEARCHING

FOR THE FATHER, AND I REALLY

LIKE ONE OF THEM.

>> MARRY HIM!

>> I’M WORKING ON IT.

>> WHAT’S HIS NAME?

>> JEFFERSON LEE.

>> LIKE THE GUY RUNNING

FOR CITY COUNCIL?

I SEE HIS SIGNS EVERYWHERE.

>> FLOUR...

PUT YOUR HAND ON THE CORNER...

OKAY. MOVE IT FORWARD...

>> YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY SHOULD

SHOW YOUR ART.

>> WHO WANTS TO LOOK

AT CRAYON FOOD?

>> TRUST YOURSELF.

>> HE THOUGHT I COULD SELL THEM.

>> IKNOW.WHAT DO YOU THINK

I’VE BEEN SAYING THIS

WHOLE TIME?

>> YOU SHOULD GET RID OF

THESE PLEDGES.

IT’S KIND OF CREEPY.

>> OH, THAT REMINDS ME.

I GOT YOU A GIFT.

LOOK, WE CAN BE TWINS.

>> THANKS.

>> SO UNGRATEFUL.

>>

>>

>> THE WEDDING PLANNER!

HERE YOU GO.

>> Woman: THANK YOU.

>> YOU’RE WELCOME.

>> SO...

WHEN DO YOU TWO PLAN ON

GETTING MARRIED?

>> UH, NO. HA HA!

>> WHO’S THE LUCKY ONE, THEN?

>> UH...

>> YOU’RE BOTH GETTING MARRIED?

>> YEAH.

>> TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE?

>> YEAH.

>> BUT THEY DON’T KNOW IT YET.

>> RIGHT.

>> SEE, IF WE PLAN IT,

THEY WILL COME.

>> YEAH.

>> SO, DO YOU THINK WE CAN

GET A 2

>> WELL, THE MEETING WENT WELL.

>>

>> SHE LOOKED AT US LIKE

WE WERE GONNA KILL HER AND PUT

HER HEAD IN THE FREEZER.

>> UNTIL WE GAVE HER

THE CASH DEPOSIT.

>> HA HA HA HA!

HA HA HA HA HA!

>> YOU’RE DRUNK!

>> OH...

OH, MAYBE I SHOULD

CALL LAWRENCE.

>> UNH-UNH. DRUNK DIALING

ISSOUNATTRACTIVE.

NO.

COME ON. GO TO BED.

UPSY-DAISY.

>>THAT’SDISTURBING.

DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE

STALKING HIM NOW.

>> EVERYBODY HAS A STALKER

NOWADAYS.

>> I DON’T HAVE A STALKER.

>> THAT’S ’CAUSE YOUARE

THE STALKER.

>> I’M NOT STALKING HIM.

>> OKAY.

>> WHEN’S THE LAST TIME

YOU WENT OUT?

>> I JUST DON’T FEEL LIKE IT

ANYMORE.

>> YOU NEED TO GO OUT

AND HAVE SOME FUN.

>> FUN?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO

HAVE ANY FUN?

NO, NO, NO, DON’T, DON’T.

>> WHAT IS IT ABOUT HIM?

>> HE MAKES ME WANT TO BE

A BETTER GUY.

>>

>> HEY.

>> HI.

>> GABRIEL’S A GOOD GUY.

HE’S A LITTLE SLUTTY, BUT

SLUTTY’S BETTER THAN INSANE,

RIGHT?

>> A DOLLAR FIVE.

>> AT LEAST HE DOESN’T

HEAR VOICES. I DATED

A COUPLE OF GUYS WHO

HEARD VOICES, ONE WHO

EVEN HEARD GOD.

>> IT WAS GOOD TO SEE YOU.

>> LOOK, HE’S SORRY.

ABSOLUTELY REPENTANT.

>> SEVENTY-FIVE CENTS.

>> FOR WHATEVER IT’S WORTH,

I’VE NEVER SEEN HIM THIS

PATHETIC BEFORE.

>> NEXT.

>> Lawrence: HI.

>> Woman: A PACK OF CIGARETTES.

>> FOUR NINETY.

>> HE EVEN BECAME

A BORN-AGAIN VIRGIN FOR YOU!

>> THAT’S JUST...WEIRD.

>> PEOPLE DO THE WEIRDEST THINGS

WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE.

I’VE KNOWN GABRIEL FOREVER.

I’VE NEVER SEEN HIM

LIKE THIS BEFORE.

>> I’M GONNA DO IT!

DON’T TRY AND STOP ME!

HE HATES MY GUTS.

>> MAYBE IF YOU JUST APOLOGIZE

TO HIM HE’LL TAKE YOU BACK.

>> REALLY?

WHAT WOULD I SAY?

>> HOW ABOUT THAT YOU’RE SORRY

AND THAT YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE?

>> YEAH, THAT’S GOOD.

I NEED TO WRITE THAT DOWN.

HEY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA

GET MYSTERY MAN TO FALL IN LOVE

WITH YOU AND CONVINCE HIM

IT’S HIS KID.

>> I WAS JOKING.

>> UH, NO YOU WEREN’T.

>> I NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHO THE

FATHER IS NO MATTER WHAT.

>> OH, REALLY? ’CAUSE I HAVE

AN IDEA. WHY DON’T WE JUST, UM,

EENIE-MEENIE-MINEE-MO, CATCH

A BABY DADDY BY THE TOE.

HERE HE IS. HERE’S THE DADDY.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT ME NOW?

>>HUGE!

>> SO MY SISTER TELLS ME

YOU SELL BOXES.

>> UH...

UM...

YEAH, I--

I’M JUST--

>> RELAX. I DON’T BITE.

WELL, THERE WAS THAT ONE GUY.

NEVER MIND.

>>

UM...

I’M JUST, UH...

I’M NOT USED TO DATING

BEAUTIFUL GIRLS LIKE YOU.

>> YOU’RE NICE.

>> YEAH, THAT’S WHAT GIRLS SAY

WHEN THEY DON’T LIKE SOMEONE.

WHICH IS FINE, I--

>> LET’S JUST BYPASS ALL THE

DRAMA THAT COMES WITH DATING,

OKAY

>> WELL, UM, SO LONG.

IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.

UH, I THOUGHT WE WERE

JUST FRIENDS.

>> HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF FWB?

>> UH, NO.

>> FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS.

>>

>> OH, MY GOD! YOU’RE HUNG

LIKE A DINOSAUR!

>> YEAH.

>> WOW! WOW!

OHH! WOW!

>> OH, NO! OH, NO!

>> OH NO WHAT?

>> UH, I THINK THE CONDOM BROKE.

>> SO, I ASKED YOU TO COME TODAY

BECAUSE...I’M PREGNANT,

AND YOU MIGHT BE THE FATHER.

>> PREGNANT?

I’M GONNA BE A FATHER!

HA HA! I’M GONNA BE

A FATHER!

I’M GONNA BE A FATHER!

>> OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

IT’S NOT FOR SURE THOUGH.

>> NO, IT’S FOR SURE.

>> HOW DO YOU KNOW

IT’S FOR SURE?

>> BECAUSE YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE

I’VE BEEN WITH.

HA HA HA!

I’M GONNA BE A FATHER!

I TOLD YOU THAT ALREADY. SORRY.

I LOVE YOU!

SORRY, I--I’M SORRY.

I DO, BUT I SHOULDN’T HAVE--

NO, I SHOULD HAVE.

I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.

I DO. I LOVE YOU.

>> ♪ TAKING A TRIP

♪ TO FORGET WHERE I LIVE

♪ OFF THE AVENUE

♪ AND I WANNA GO

♪ WHERE THE PEOPLE...

>> HEY.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE

IN SACRAMENTO.

>> AH, YOU KNOW,

I CAME BACK EARLY.

WANTED TO SEE YOU.

>> OH...

>> HEY. LET’S GET

SOME ICE CREAM.

>> OH, MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU,

TWELVE

GET A ROOM! OHH!

OHH!

>> SMILE. STAND UP STRAIGHT.

>>

>> HI.

I, UH, I FEEL BADLY ABOUT

THE WAY IT ENDED.

>> THOSE ARE NICE FLOWERS.

>> THEY’RE FOR A NICE GUY.

TAKE THEM.

>> THAT’S SO ROMANTIC.

>> THEY’LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

>>

YOU KNOW, YOU’RE RIGHT.

I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW.

>>

>> OH, UM...

I, UH,

I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE,

AND I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT

I’M AN ASSHOLE...

AND, UH, I WON’T DROP

THE BONE AGAIN.

>> Thebone?What are you

talking about?

>> WHAT?!

>> IS ANGELA OUT THERE?

>> UM...FOR MORAL SUPPORT.

>> LOOK, CAN I COME IN?

NOD YOUR HEAD IF SOMEONE

ELSE IS IN THERE.

NOD AGAIN IF HE’S MORE

FABULOUS THAN ME.

NOD IF HE’SWAYMORE

FABULOUS THAN ME.

>> Angela: GABRIEL,

WE SHOULD GET GOING.

IT WAS GOOD TO SEE YOU

AGAIN, LAWRENCE.

THIS WAY. COME ON.

WHY AREN’T YOU WORKING ON

YOUR INVITATION LIST?

>> THERE’S NO POINT.

>> SUIT YOURSELF.

>> DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE

HE’S GONNA MARRY YOU?

>> I DO.

>> DOES HE KNOW ABOUT

YOUR CONDITION?

>> NOT YET.

>> I HOPE YOU’RE PLANNING ON

TELLING HIM SOON.

>> I AM.

IAM.

>> YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW

ANYTHING ABOUT THIS GUY.

>> I GOOGLED HIM AND

NOTHING TOO BAD CAME UP.

>> YOU KNOW HE’S A REPUBLICAN,

RIGHT?

>> NO ONE’S PERFECT.

>> THEY HATE GAY PEOPLE.

>> THERE ARE GAY REPUBLICANS,

TOO.

>> ALL RIGHT, WHAT’S HIS

FAVORITE COLOR, THEN?

>> I’VE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP

FOR YEARS AND NOT KNOWN THAT.

YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS.

>> I FOUND MY MAN. I KNOW WHAT

HIS FAVORITE COLOR IS.

IT’S ORANGE.

>> DO YOU KNOW FRED’S

FAVORITE COLOR?

>> BLUE.

>> SHE’S...TINY.

>> IT’S A HE.

DO YOU HAVE A NAME

PICKED OUT ALREADY?

>> TINY.

>> SHE’S KIDDING.

YOU’RE KIDDING.

>> THE BEST THING ABOUT BEING

PREGNANT IS THAT IT’S AN EXCUSE

TO BUY A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE.

>> YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS.

THIS IS ALREADY THE HAPPIEST

DAY OF MY LIFE.

>> LISTEN TO ME.

GET MARRIED TO CARLTON.

>> CARLTON?

>> ISN’T THAT WHY YOU

BROUGHT HIM ALONG?

>> NO!

HE’S MY NEWEST STALKER.

>> WELL, LOOK, IT DOESN’T MATTER

IF HE’S THE FATHER OR NOT.

DESPERATE TIMES CALL

FOR DESPERATE MEASURES.

>> CAN I BORROW A QUARTER?

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>>

>>

>> MMM.

YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE

BEEN A CHEF.

>> HMM.

>> HOW’D YOU GET IN POLITICS?

>> AH, WELL, MY FATHER

WAS A POLITICIAN.

AND HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM.

AND HIS FATHER.

>> WAS IN POLITICS?

DO YOU EVEN LIKE IT?

YOU SHOULD QUIT.

I COULD SEE YOU ON

IRON CHEF AMERICA.

>> IT’S NOT THAT EASY.

>> CAN I ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS?

>> ONLY IF IT’S NOT ABOUT

MY CHOICE OF CAREERS.

>> WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

>> GREEN.

>> MINE IS RED.

IF YOU GET TO AN INTERSECTION

AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHICH WAY

TO TURN, DO YOU GO LEFT

OR RIGHT?

>> LEFT. IS THAT

THE RIGHT ANSWER?

>> I WOULD GO LEFT, TOO.

>> HOW MANY MORE QUESTIONS

DO YOU HAVE?

>> ONE MORE QUESTION.

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU

I WAS PREGNANT?

WOULD YOU MAKE AN HONEST

WOMAN OUT OF ME?

I THOUGHT YOU’D BE HAPPY.

>>

I AM.

>> SO...

IS THAT A YES?

>> I’M ALREADY ENGAGED.

>> GO.

>> OKAY, LOOK, ANGELA...

>> GO!

>>

>> I CAN’T BELIEVE HE WOULDN’T

TELL ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> WEREN’T YOU KIND OF KEEPING

SOMETHING IMPORTANT FROM HIM,

TOO?

I’M JUST SAYIN’.

>> WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW?

>> FUCK IT.I’LLMARRY YOU.

WE CAN BE VIRGINALANDMARRIED.

THAT OUGHTA MAKE US ELIGIBLE

FOR SAINTHOOD.

>> WHAT ABOUT YOUR

COMMITMENT ISSUES?

>> WE BICKER ALL THE TIME

ANYWAY. WE’RE PRACTICALLY

MARRIED ALREADY.

>> THAT IS TRUE.

>> I’M KINDA CUTE.

>> YOU’REVERYCUTE.

IN FACT, YOU’RE VERY HOT.

>> IT’S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

>> PROMISE?

>> YEP. WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT.

>> OKAY.

>> I HEAR YOU GOT DUMPED.

>> NO MORE INTERNET ADVICE.

I’M NOT IN THE MOOD.

>> WELL, IT WOULDN’T HAVE

WORKED OUT ANYWAY.

>> WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED

TO MEAN?

>> I’M TIRED OF SEEING YOU GET

INTO THESE RELATIONSHIPS AND

WATCHING THEM ALL END

THE SAME WAY.

AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN HIM?

>> ALMOST FOUR MONTHS.

>> YOU CAN’T EXPECT TO

KNOW SOMEONE THAT SOON.

YOU’LL MEET SOMEONE ELSE.

>> EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.

>> YOU’RE YOUNG.

WHAT’S THE RUSH?

>> I’M READY TO SHARE MY LIFE

WITH SOMEBODY.

>> AND SOMEDAY YOU’LL MEET

SOMEONE WHO’LL MAKE YOU--

>> I CAN’T WAIT THAT LONG.

>> WHY?

>> BECAUSE I’M PREGNANT.

>> IS HE THE FATHER?

>> CAN YOU HELP ME?

>> LORD.

>>

YOU THINK I’M FAT, HUH?

>> I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING.

>> GOD, WHO’S GONNA WANT TO

MARRY A WHALE?

>> IT’S GONNA BE OKAY.

>> GET AWAY FROM ME!

I’M SORRY.

SAY SOMETHING.

>> YOU LOOK LIKE

ONE OF THOSE CUTE WHALES...

FROM SEAWORLD.

>> LET ME GET A LOOK AT YOU.

OH, GOD.

>>

>> WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

>> NICE-BUT-BORING GUY.

HE TURNED INTO STALKER GUY

EVER SINCE I TOLD HIM HE COULD

BE TINY’S DAD.

>> MM-MM-MM.

BABY PAPA DRAMA.

>> DON’T CHANGE YET.

>> WHY?

>> TRUST ME.

HEY.

>> IS THAT FOR YOU?

>> DON’T ASK.

HEY.

>> YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

>>

>> I INVITED HIM.

THOUGHT HE SHOULD SEE YOU

BEFORE YOU’RE FORCED

TO MARRY ME.

>> THIS WAS A MISTAKE.

>> NO.

IF ABBA CAN GET BACK TOGETHER,

I’M SURE YOU TWO CAN WORK OUT

YOUR DIFFERENCES.

>> ABBA NEVER GOT BACK TOGETHER.

>> HEY.

LOOK, I MESSED UP...

AND I’M SORRY.

IT’S JUST...

I’M 30 YEARS OLD AND I’VE

NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.

AND I GOT SCARED.

>> TELL ME SOMETHING

I DON’T KNOW.

>> YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE

I WANT TO BE WITH...

AND I’M READY TO MAKE

A COMMITMENT TO YOU.

>> NO RING?

>>

>> WHAT IS THAT?

>> STEAK FAT SANDWICH WITH MAYO,

SIROCHI SAUCE, VELVEETA CHEESE

AND PICKLES. CAN’T GET ENOUGH

OF THESE.

>> THAT LOOKS GOOD.

YEAH?

MMM!

MMM!

>> SO THIS IS THE LAST

CANDIDATE, HUH?

>> HMM. MR. HOTTIE.

>> CAN WE JUSTFUCK?

>>

>> OHH!

WHOO!

>> I CAN’T BELIEVE

YOU JUST FAKED THAT.

>>

I...

I CAME A LITTLE.

>> I’VE BEEN ON THE OTHER SIDE

OF THAT FACE BEFORE.

WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE YOU

FEEL MORE...SATISFIED?

>> FUCK ME IN THE ASS WITH THIS

WHILE I MASTURBATE?

AND NO, I-I’M NOT GAY.

>> OKAY.

>> DO YOU WANT US

TO GO WITH YOU?

>> NO. I GOT THIS.

>> BYE, MOMMY.

>> I’VE BEEN THINKING A LOT

ABOUT YOU SINCE THAT NIGHT.

BY THE WAY, WHAT--

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

YOU’RE FAT.

>> I’M PREGNANT, RETARD.

CONGRATULATIONS. YOU’RE ONE

OF THE CONTENDERS.

I’M GONNA NEED A SAMPLE

FROM YOU.

>> FUCK ME WITH YOUR FINGERS

WHILE I JIZZ INTO IT?

>> ♪ I WANNA FIGHT IN THE NIGHT

♪ FIGHT, RUN A RED LIGHT

♪ DRINK CYANIDE

♪ GET FUCKED TONIGHT

♪ I WANNA GET HIGH

♪ GET A WHITE LINE, DRINK WINE

♪ SMOKE, NICE TIME

♪ I WANNA GET WASTED

♪ I’LL DO WHAT I WANT

♪ I’LL DO IT BETTER

♪ THAN YOU DO...

>>

>> YOU KNOW I’LL TAKE CARE

OF THE BABY.

>> I WISH THINGS WERE

DIFFERENT, TOO.

IT’S OKAY. I WOULDN’T HAVE

CHOSEN ME EITHER.

LET’S JUST PRETEND

WE NEVER MET.

OKAY?

>> THAT’S THE SADDEST THING

I’VE EVER HEARD.

>> EXCUSE ME.

>> Nikki: AND I HAVE A TOWN

MEETING ON FRIDAY, BUT I THINK

IT WOULD BE ADVANTAGEOUS TO MEET

WITH THE BUSINESS OWNERS FIRST,

GET THEIR POINTS OF INTEREST,

AND THEN MEET WITH THE MAYOR.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>> I CAN’T MARRY YOU.

I’M IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.

>> I AM SO GLAD YOU SAID THAT.

YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE

A BROTHER TO ME, AND SO SEX

IS A LITTLE ICKY, BUT...

WHO’S GONNA TELL OUR PARENTS?

>> I’LL TELL ’EM.

>> I STILL HAVEN’T GIVEN UP YET.

>> ARE YOU TALKING TO

YOUR STOMACH AGAIN?

SO, UM...

WHAT IF NONE OF THEM

ARE THE FATHER?

>> ONE OF THEM HAS TO BE.

>> I MEANT TO GIVE YOU THAT

EARLIER.

>>ACCORDING TO HIM, ANYWAY.

>>

>> : HERE’S TO THE

BEST FUCKIN’ PEOPLE I EVER

MET IN MY LIFE!

>> Woman: I LOVE YOU,

YOU ARE MYBESTFRIEND.

>>

>> WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

YOU’RE LOOKING AT MY

BEST FRIEND EVER. I LOVE YOU.

>> I...REMEMBER THAT.

>> REALLY?

DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT

HAPPENED NEXT?

>>

>> OH...

>>

>> GOD, I THOUGHT

IT WAS A DREAM.

HOW WAS I?

>> HA HA HA HA!

UH...

LET’S JUST SAY I’M NOT

GONNA SWITCH TEAMS

ANYTIME SOON.

>> BLOOD WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE.

>> HOW LONG IS THIS GONNA TAKE?

>> WELL, I DON’T ADVISE YOU

HAVING A PATERNITY TEST UNTIL

AFTER THE BABY IS BORN.

THERE’S AN INCREASED RISK OF

MISCARRIAGE.

>> DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO GO

THROUGH TO GET THESE?

>> IT’S SAFER FOR THE BABY

THIS WAY.

>> CAN’T YOU JUST GIVE ME

A HINT

>> I’M SO SORRY.

I WISH I HAD TOLD YOU

EVERYTHING.

I BROKE UP WITH MY FIANCEE.

ANGELA...

WOULDYOUDO ME THE HONOR

OF MARRYING ME?

>> NO!!!

MARRYME!

ANGELA, MARRY ME!

>>

>> YOUR EX?

>> SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> ANGELA!

I WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING!

WILL YOU MARRY--

>> OH, MY GOD.

DID YOU REALLY BREAK UP

WITH HER?

>> I HOPE THAT’S A YES.

>> THAT’S ADEFINITEYES.

THIS IS THE RING MY FATHER

GAVE MY MOTHER.

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?

>> NO. NO, YOU SAY NO,

ANGELA, YOU SAY NO--

"NO, I WILLNOTMARRY YOU.

I WILLNOT."YOU SAY NO, OKAY?

I...I LOVE YOU.

>> BUT FIRST...WHO’S NIKKI?

>>

NIKKI IS...

SHE’S PRACTICALLY

A SISTER TO ME.

WE’VE BOTH ALWAYS KNOWN

IT WASN’T RIGHT.

OUR PARENTS PRACTICALLY

SET THE WHOLE THING UP.

I’VE NEVER LOVED HER.

I LOVEYOU.

>> THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

WAIT.

I HAVE YOUR RING, TOO.

GIVE ME YOUR HAND.

I HAVEN’T HAD A CHANCE

TO RE-SIZE IT YET.

IT’LL FIT ON YOUR PINKIE.

SPIT IT OUT.

>> MY PARENTS ARE

REALLYTRADITIONAL.

THEY’D WANT US TO GET MARRIED

BEFORE WE HAD THE BABY.

>> NO PROBLEM. GABRIEL AND I

ALREADY PLANNED THE WHOLE

THING OUT.

HOW ABOUT NEXT WEEK?

>> YEAH, RIGHT.

>> I’M SERIOUS.

>> REALLY?

>> UH-HUH.

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY.

>> AAAAH!

OH! I ALWAYS KNEW

YOU COULD DO IT!

I’M GONNA GO TELL FRED

THE GOOD NEWS.

>> ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HIM?

>> WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>> YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT

YOU’RE GETTING YOURSELF INTO.

>> EVERYTHING’S JUST STARTING TO

COME TOGETHER THE WAY IT’S

SUPPOSED TO.

>> LOOK, ALL RELATIONSHIPS

ARE MARATHONS, NOT A SPRINT.

>> I’M A SPRINTER.

>> ALL I’M ASKING IS THAT

YOU SLOW IT DOWN--

FOR ONCE.

>> MMM.

HELLO, TINY.

HELLO, MOMMY

AND FUTURE WIFE.

MMM.

I TOLD MY PARENTS

THE GOOD NEWS.

THEY INVITED YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

OVER FOR BRUNCH.

>> JEFFERSON.

WHY DON’T YOU SHOW OUR GUESTS

AROUND THE HOUSE, HUH?

>> JEFFERSON.

>> ANGELA, DO YOU MIND

KEEPING US COMPANY?

>> PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP.

SO, UH, WELCOME TO

OUR HUMBLE ABODE.

>> JEFFERSON--

>> LOOK, A JACUZZI!

>> YOU THINK WE’RE MAKING

A MISTAKE, I KNOW.

MY PARENTS THINK THE SAME THING.

>> IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER

WHATITHINK.

YOU KNOW, I WAS ALMOST YOUR AGE

WHEN I MARRIED ANGELA’S MOTHER.

I ALWAYS WISHED THAT SOMEBODY

HAD SAT ME DOWN AND TALKED TO ME

ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES.

>> MR. YANG, WITH ALL DUE

RESPECT, ANGELA AND I ALREADY

KNOW ABOUT THE BIRDS

AND THE BEES.

>> OKAY...

LET’S JUST TALK BEES, THEN.

ONE BEE.

A BEE IS DEVOTED TO A SINGLE

QUEEN ITS WHOLE LIFE.

ITS VERY EXISTENCE DEPENDS ON

KEEPING HER ALIVE.

>> I DON’T PLAN ON POLLINATING

ANY OTHER FLOWERS, SIR.

>> WHAT I’M REALLY TRYING

TO SAY IS...

I WANT YOU...

TO LOVE MY DAUGHTER.

>> SIR, I LOVE ANGELA IN

MORE WAYS THAN SHE KNOWS.

>> THEN WELCOME TO THE HIVE!

>> THANK YOU.

>> JEFFERSON NEVER WANTED TO BE

A POLICEMAN OR FIREMAN LIKE

THE OTHER BOYS.

HE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A MAYOR--

LIKE HIS GRANDFATHER

BACK IN TAIWAN.

>> AND WHEN HE FOUND OUT THAT

THE PRESIDENT IS HIGHER THAN

THE MAYOR, HE WANTED TO BE

PRESIDENT!

HA HA HA HA!

>> I THINK HE’D MAKE

A GREAT CHEF.

>> HA HA HA HA!

JEFFERSON CAN’T COOK! NO!

>>

>> OH. OH--OH, DEAR.

OH, NO, NO, DEAR, DEAR.

ANGELA, SHE DOESN’T MEAN

ANYTHING BY THIS.

IT’S JUST THAT THIS ALL CAME

AS A SHOCK TO US.

I THINK WE WILL ALL FEEL BETTER

IF YOU TOOK A PATERNITY TEST.

THAT WAY THERE’D BE NO QUESTION

AS TO WHO THE FATHER IS.

YES DEAR, YES DEAR.

>> KLEENEX.

>> IT’S ALL RIGHT. IT’S OKAY.

>>

>> THIS IS GONNA BE

YOUR FATHER, TINY.

TRY YOUR BEST TO LOOK

LIKE HIM, OKAY?

>> HEY.

>> I CAN’T GO THROUGH

WITH THIS.

>> OH, I KNOW, I KNOW.

I’M NERVOUS TOO.

I CAN’T BELIEVE WE FOUND PEOPLE

WHO WOULD ACTUALLY MARRY US.

CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING ELSE?

>> IT’S YOUR BACHELOR PARTY.

GO. HAVE SOME FUN.

>> OKAY. ALL RIGHT, I’LL CHECK

ON YOU IN A BIT.

EEE!

OH--OH!

OH!

BIG!

>> WHAT DO YOU THINK IT’LL BE

LIKE WHEN YOU TWO GROW OLD?

WILL YOU STILL BE IN LOVE?

WILL YOU HAVE SEX?

WILL YOU BICKER?

>> WE’LL BE WRINKLED.

THAT’S ALL I’M SURE OF.

>> AND THAT DOESN’T BOTHER YOU?

>> I’M PRETTY SURE WE’LL BE

WRINKLEDTOGETHER.

KNOWING THAT, IT’S ENOUGH.

AND HOPEFULLY BY THEN GABRIEL’S

TOO SENILE TO FIGHT AND HAS HIS

HANDS ON A LOT OF VIAGRA.

>>

>> YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?

>> I’LL BE BACK.

>> OKAY.

I FEEL AWFUL.

>> OH, WELL,

YOU LOOKBEAUTIFUL.

>> THANK YOU.

>> YOU KNOW, YOUR MOTHER AND I

LIVED OUR ENTIRE LIVES AS

STRANGERS, ONLY BECAUSE WE

COULDN’T TRUST EACH OTHER

ENOUGH TO TELL THE TRUTH.

>> BUT YOU BOTH SEEMED

SO HAPPY.

>> WELL, SHE WAS...

SHE WAS GOOD AT PRETENDING

THAT EVERYTHING WAS OKAY.

BUT SHE WAS BITTER AND ANGRY

WHEN...WHEN SHE REALIZED

THAT HER FANTASY WAS NOT REAL.

YOUR SISTER IS ABOUT TEN YEARS

AWAY FROM THAT REALIZATION.

PLEASE...

DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES

WE DID.

BE HONEST.

YOU OWE IT TO JEFFERSON,

AND YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF.

>> ANGELA?

IT’S TIME.

>> WHERE ARE YOU PARENTS?

>> THEY COULDN’T MAKE IT.

>> Man: NOW, IF THE GROOMS WILL

PLEASE BEGIN THEIR VOWS.

>> I WANT TO MARRY YOU

BECAUSE...

I WANT TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING

AND SEE YOUR FACE NEXT TO MINE.

BECAUSE...

I KNEW YOU WERE THE ONE BEFORE

I EVEN MET YOU.

BECAUSE I WANT TO GROW OLD

WITH YOU...

AND SIT ON A PORCH SWING...

AND LAUGH ABOUT HOW FOOLISH

I SOUND RIGHT NOW.

>> WELL, WHAT IF WHEN WE GROW

OLD WE DON’T TO SHARE A PORCH

SWING AND LAUGH?

>> I DON’T KNOW.

>> MAYBE, THEN, WE CAN CRY

INSTEAD OF LAUGH...

ABOUT HOW IT WASN’T EXACTLY

HOW WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

AND MAYBE AFTER ALL THOSE TEARS

IT WILLBETHE WAY WE WANTED

IT TO BE.

>> MAYBE.

>> ALL I’M ASKING FOR IS

COMPLETE AND TOTAL HONESTY,

NO MATTER WHAT.

YOU PROMISE?

>> I DO.

>>

>> WOW.

I, UH...

I...

I’M NOT FOLLOWIN’ THAT!

>>

>> UM...

I PROMISE EVERYTHINGTHEYSAID.

>> YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME.

HOW CAN YOU PROMISE THAT?

>> UH...

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>> THERE’S A ONE-IN-FIVE CHANCE

YOU COULD BE THE FATHER.

I WON’T KNOW UNTIL AFTER

TINY’S BORN.

>> I’M NOT THE FATHER?

>> I DON’T KNOW RIGHT NOW.

AND I WOULDN’T BLAME YOU IF YOU

TURNED AROUND AND WALKED AWAY.

I’M A SLUT.

HOW’S THAT FIT INTO

YOUR PERFECT LIFE?

>> ANGELA!

ANGELA!

SO MAYBE YOU’RE NOT PERFECT.

I KNOWI’MNOT.

ALL I’VE EVER REALLY BEEN GOOD

AT IN MY LIFE IS FOLLOWING

ORDERS.

I’VE JUST ALWAYS BEEN SCARED--

SCARED OF DISAPPOINTING PEOPLE.

I CHOKED UNDER THE PRESSURE,

AND...THE ONLY REASON I EVEN

GOT INTO LAW SCHOOL WAS BECAUSE

MY DAD HAD TO BUY ME IN.

DON’T YOU SEE?

WE’RE BOTH PERFECTLY IMPERFECT.

>> BUT I STILL CAN’T MARRY YOU.

I THOUGHT I WANTED WHAT

YOU CAN OFFER ME--

THE PERFECT FAMILY WITH

THE PERFECT LIFE.

BUT I DON’T WANT THAT ANYMORE.

I’M SORRY.

I NEED SOME TIME BY MYSELF.

>> Lawrence: THOSE ARE VALUABLE.

FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH, I THINK

YOU’RE DOING THE RIGHT THING.

>> SO, UM, DOES THIS MEAN YOU’RE

NOT LOOKING FOR THE SPERM DONOR

ANYMORE?

>> WE’LL BE OKAY.

BUT I WANTED TO ASK YOU TWO

IF YOU WOULD BE HIS FATHERS.

>> CAN I NAME HIM?

>> NO.

NO.

>>

>> Sister:ANGELA! ANGELA!

>> OH, GOD.

>>ANGELA, I CAN HEAR YOU!

OPEN THIS DOOR!

ARE YOU

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

>> THIS IS MY LIFE, NOT YOURS.

I’LL DO WHAT I NEED TO

TO TAKE CARE OF TINY.

AND AS FAR AS LIVING YOUR

LIFE...YOU CAN HAVE IT.

IT’S NOT ME.

>>♪ I LIKE BOYS FROM AFRICA

♪ SOUTH AMERICA AND ASIA

♪ I LIKE BOYS FROM...

>> SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>> THESE ARE REALLY GOOD.

WHY DIDN’T YOU SHOW ME

THESE EARLIER?

>> OH, GOOD. I WAS STARTING TO

WONDER IF WE WERE GONNA BE ABLE

TO AFFORD TO RAISE THIS KID.

SO SERIOUSLY, HOW MUCH?

>> LET’S SEE WHAT THE BUYERS

THINK.

>> OKAY. ’CAUSE WE JUST

WANT HIM TO EAT.

>>

>> SHUT UP! YOU’RE DISINVITED

FROM THE BIRTH.

>> FINE. YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.

>> GO WAIT IN THE CAR.

>>

>> GUYS...

I THINK I’M HAVING A BABY.

>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,

WE KNOW, WE KNOW.

>> NO, RIGHT NOW.

>> HMM?

>> YEAH.

>> OKAY, WE WANT TO CALL

DR. RICHARDS.

WE WANT TO CALL YOUR DAD.

>> WE’RE GOING! WE’RE GONNA GO

RIGHT NOW!

>> SHE’S GONNA HAVE A BABY!

OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD--

>> Angela:I THOUGHT I’D SPARE

YOU THE ICKY DETAILS.

AFTER FOURTEEN HOURS OF LABOR,

AND AN ETERNITY OF PUSHING...

YOU WERE BORN.

BEFORE THAT POINT, I’VE NEVER

BEEN SURE OF ANYTHING

IN MY LIFE.

NOW I’M SURE OF ONE THING...

NO MATTER WHO THE FATHER IS...

YOU’RE ALL MINE.

IT’S NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU

FACE-TO-FACE.

I LOVE YOU.

>> HERE ARE THE RESULTS

OF THE PATERNITY TEST.

>> I KNEW IT.

>> HI.

HE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME.

>> HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE YOU.

>> NO?

>> NO.

>> COME...MEET YOUR NEW NEPHEW

TUPAC.

I’M JUST MESSING WITH YOU.

>> OH. RIGHT.

>> HI, LITTLE MOTHER.

>>

>> HELLO, GRANDSON.

>>

>> Gabriel:SO, UM...

DID YOU EVER FIND OUT

WHO THE FATHER WAS?

>> YEP.

>> IS IT ME?

>> NO.

>> SO WHO IS IT?

>> IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE.

>> HOW’D YOU FIGURE IT OUT?

>>

>> YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW.

I’M SORRY, CARLTON.

HE’S NOT YOURS.

>> ♪...

>> HE SEEMED LIKE

SUCH A NICE GUY.

>> OH, HE’LL BE FINE.

HE’S GOT AHUGE--

>> GABRIEL.

>> HUGE.

>> I DIDN’T KNOW THAT

THEY CAME IN THATSIZE.

>> HERE, LET ME HOLD HIM.

>> NO.

>> ANGELA AND I DECIDED THAT

YOU SHOULDN’T HOLD THE BABY

ANYMORE.

>> I DIDN’T MEAN TO DROP HIM.

>>

>> GREAT, BABY.

>> THANK YOU, DAD.

THANK YOU.

>> CONGRATULATIONS.

>> OH! I LOVE YOU!

>> CONGRATULATIONS, ANGELA.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU.

HEY.

>> HEY.

>> GLAD YOU CAME.

>> WELL, UM...CONGRATULATIONS.

I, UM, WELL, I WAS SURPRISED

YOU INVITED ME.

>> I WANTED TO CALL YOU AND I--

>> NO, NO. NO.

LET’S START OVER.

JEFFERSON LEE.

FORMER POLITICIAN

TURNED STRUGGLING COOK.

ALMOST MARRIED TWICE...

IN LOVE ONCE.

AND YOU ARE?

>> HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

>> Angela:AND THEN WE ALL

LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

OR THAT’S WHAT EVERYONE

WANTS TO HEAR.

REALLY, TINY, IT DOESN’T MATTER

WHO I END UP WITH.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS

THAT YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT,

NO MATTER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE

THINK.

AND I’LL ALWAYS SUPPORT YOU

NO MATTER WHAT.

BUT YOU SHOULD DO EVERYTHING

I SAY, ALL THE TIME, AT LEAST

UNTIL YOU’RE EIGHTEEN

OR IN COLLEGE, AND THEN YOU CAN

DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

GOD KNOWS I DID.

BUT THAT’S ANOTHER STORY.

>>♪...

>>♪ I WANNA FIGHT IN THE NIGHT

♪ RUN A RED LIGHT

♪ DRINK CYANIDE

♪ GET FUCKED TONIGHT

♪ I WANNA GET HIGH

♪ GET A WHITE LINE, DRINK WINE

♪ SMOKE, NICE TIME

♪ WANNA GET WASTED

♪ I’LL DO WHAT I WANT

♪ I’LL DO IT BETTER

♪ THAN YOU DO

♪ I’M JUST A CRAZY

♪ FUCKED-UP BITCH

♪ I’M JUST A CRAZY

♪ FUCKED-UP BITCH

♪ I’M JUST A CRAZY

♪ FUCKED-UP BITCH

♪ DOES THAT MAKE YOU NERVOUS?

♪ THAT I LOOK HELPLESS

♪ MAYBE I’M NOT

♪ YOU’RE JUST CAUGHT IN A LINE

♪ IN A VIOLENT SONG

♪ I’LL GET WHAT I WANT

♪ I’LL GET IT BETTER

♪ THAN YOU DO

♪ I’M JUST A CRAZY

♪ FUCKED-UP BITCH

♪ I’M JUST A CRAZY

♪ FUCKED-UP BITCH

♪ I’M JUST A CRAZY

♪ FUCKED-UP--

>> ♪...

>>

>>♪ TELL ME

♪ IS LOVE AN URBAN LEGEND

♪ OR SOME TEST OF

♪ CONTINUING EDUCATION

♪ BUY YOUR ANSWERS

♪ FROM SOME GUY NAMED PINKY

♪ IN A DARKENED ALLEY

♪ HALFWAY TO NOHO

♪ I AM LOOKIN’ FOR

♪ THE PERFECT SNOWCONE

♪ HOLDING ONE END

♪ OF A WISHBONE

♪ CALLING GOD ON A CELLPHONE

♪ YEAH

♪ CARNIVAL JUNKIE

♪ IN LOVE WITH A FREAK

♪ DON’T WANNA BE FIGURED OUT

♪ DON’T ANALYZE ME

♪ THIS NOT A HEAD

♪ AND IT’S NOT A HEART

♪ JUST A SOUL

♪ TOO FUNKY FOR YOUR MOTHER

♪ YEAH

♪ PASSED OUT IN THE FOUNTAIN

♪ WITH SOME PENNIES

♪ OF SOMEBODY ELSE’S

♪ FORTUNE

♪ FORTUNATELY FOR YOU

♪ I BIDE MY TIME PACIFYING

♪ EVERYONE BUT ME

♪ WHAT MAKE ME HAPPY?

♪ LEAP YEAR AND BLACKJACK

♪ I AM NEEDING MORE

♪ THAN FOOD AND WATER

♪ A MAN TO BE HIS DAUGHTER

♪ A REASON I SHOULD BOTHER

♪ CARNIVAL JUNKIE

♪ IN LOVE WITH A FREAK

♪ DON’T WANNA BE FIGURED OUT

♪ DON’T ANALYZE ME

♪ THIS IS NOT A HEAD

♪ AND IT’S NOT A HEART

♪ JUST A SOUL

♪ TOO FUNKY FOR YOUR MOTHER

♪ YEAH

♪ I DON’T THINK SO

♪ THERE’S A TIGER IN MY BEDROOM

♪ A FIRE IN THE FRONT YARD

♪ FAT LITTLE EGOS ON THE TV

♪ NIELSON RATING THE MOONBEAMS

♪ YOU BETTER LEAVE

♪ BEFORE YOU BEG

♪ I SEE THAT TAIL

♪ BETWEEN YOUR LEGS

♪ IT’S NOT MY FAULT

♪ I MADE YOU BLUSH

♪ IT’S ALL THOSE CARNIVALS

♪ YOU HAVE CRUSHED

♪ NEEDING MORE

♪ THAN FOOD AND WATER

♪ A MAN TO BE HIS DAUGHTER

♪ A REASON I SHOULD BOTHER

♪ I AM LOOKIN’ FOR

♪ THE PERFECT SNOWCONE

♪ HOLDING ONE END OF A WISHBONE

♪ CALLING GOD ON A CELLPHONE

♪ OH YEAH

♪ CARNIVAL JUNKIE

♪ IN LOVE WITH A FREAK

♪ DON’T WANNA BE FIGURED OUT

♪ DON’T ANALYZE ME

♪ THIS IS NOT A HEAD

♪ AND IT’S NOT A HEART

♪ JUST A SOUL

♪ IT’S JUST A SOUL, YEAH

♪ CARNIVAL JUNKIE

♪ IN LOVE WITH A FREAK

♪ DON’T WANNA BE FIGURED OUT

♪ DON’T ANALYZE ME

♪ THIS IT NOT A HEAD

♪ IT’S NOT HEART... ♪