Original subtitles

Latin lover narrator: All right, all right, lots to catch up on.

Jane was trying to balance motherhood with grad school.

Making things harder: The evil classmate

who wrote an exposé about Rafael's family.

Oh, and speaking of family drama, Jane's father, rogelio,

invested all his money into his passion project.

Unfortunately, it decked... What?!

Leaving him broke, until he finds his next telenovela.

And speaking of telenovelas, we have not one,

but two crime lords on the loose.

The first, rose, aka sin rostro,

aka luisa's great love.

And then there's mutter.

I know, cray cray, right?

Also crazy: Petra's mother killed someone.

And Petra had to help dispose of the body.

And then there's Jane.

See, she wanted to be with detective Michael,

until this happened... You turned me in?!

This entitled ass cost me my job.

(Mateo cries)

But it seemed Michael was wrong.

It wasn't Rafael.

I'm Eric Wu, and I'm here to talk

about my friend Nadine Hansen.

Latin lover narrator: So Jane said good-bye to him.

But then she discovered this.

Eric: You paid me to lie to the cops about cordero.

Jane: I think you hired someone

to go to the police and lie about Michael.

You told me to fight for our family, and I was. Stop it.

Will you...? Let me by.

Latin lover narrator: Which is where we left off.

Latin lover narrator: It should be noted

that Jane at six years old

was a lot like our Jane now.

She was kind.

She was smart.

And she was a rule follower.

Xiomara: I'm sorry, Janie.

I was craving chocolate last night.

However, there was one way

in which she was very, very different.

Janie.

Stay calm.

(Screams)

I can't help it.

ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA www.PSArips.com

Cheese.

You, abuela.

Ay.

(Chuckles)

Lists.

And for "m," Mr. monkey.

Ah.

No "a," I spell it in English.

Latin lover narrator: I told you she was smart.

Okay...

That Christmas, Jane got an outer space puzzle,

a home alone video tape and an anger management technique

that would last a lifetime...

...which she really needed,

after what just happened with Rafael.

Oh, right, eventually Jane grew out of Mr. monkey

and the "m" became Michael,

which only made matters worse right now.

Jane: Michael was right this whole time.

Rafael paid someone to turn him in,

and he's been lying to me for six months.

I know.

Are you gonna tell Michael?

What good would that do?!

He's still be fired, plus he doesn't even want to see me.

Why are you yelling at me? I'm sorry!

I'm just so mad!

(Mateo cries)

(Sighs)

Look, as angry as I am at Rafael,

and I am very, very angry...

(Breathes deeply)

...I'm gonna deal with him for mateo's sake.

Because that lying two-faced liar

is not gonna ruin his first Christmas!

I'm really sorry?

Are you excited to meet Santa, Mr. sweetface?

'Cause he's excited to see you, yes, he is.

Latin lover narrator: Remember, calm, Jane.

Didn't know you were coming.

Well, it was on the calendar, so...

Look, I am sorry, Jane.

I know what I did was wrong.

I just felt my family slipping away.

So you paid someone to go to the police and lie.

What he said about Michael letting Nadine go was the truth.

Oh, so you don't actually regret what you did.

I didn't have a choice.

Look, Michael put mateo in danger,

and you were too blinded by your feelings to see it.

I can't believe you are trying to justify what you did.

You were jealous of Michael. Whoa, jealous?

And because you have money and rules don't apply to you,

or laws for that matter! I was protecting my son!

Ugh! Santa: Ho, ho, ho.

No fighting at the north pole.

Stay out of this, Santa, okay?

("Deck the halls" plays)

Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing,

and I just have to say I know what you're going through.

Hmm? Well, my husband and I,

we turned into bill and Betty bickerberg

those first six months.

But it wasn't good for the baby.

Couples therapy really helped us.

Jane (Indignantly): I don't need therapy.

He could use some therapy.

I mean, he doesn't even regret what he did.

Yes.

I know... I know.

Green card?

I don't know, I just feel like I need

to be away from Rafael right now.

Yeah, I get that.

Why don't I pick up mateo later?

Latin lover narrator: Aw...

You can always count on your mom

to help out with child care.

Or to bleach the blood

of a murdered man off your floor.

Petra, it's done.

No, it's not, I can still see the blood.

Easy there, lady MacBeth.

Divka.

Divka, relax. What?

How? You... you killed a man.

We buried him.

No, Ivan is missing.

And statistically,

if he is not found in the first 48 hours,

they will not find him.

Huh, I bet she learned that in prison.

Don't worry.

Just 24 hours left.

Rogelio: What?!

I can't afford to buy pizza?!

Don't be so dramatic; You can order pizza.

Just not from a place with "osteria" in the name.

Here, the pizza highway.

(Gasps) If you want to find your next passion project,

you're gonna have to stick to Jane's budget.

Fine!

Would you be so kind to order me a pauper's pizza?

Just cheese.

Will do. How are the scripts?

Are they full of passion?

Intrigue?

De LA vega flava?

Nah, it's, uh, pretty clichéd actually.

Like, identity-swap stuff.

I'm leaving, I'm getting mateo. Okay.

I really hope they make up for Christmas.

Jane and Rafael? (Laughs)

Not happening.

She's pissed.

Like, seriously pissed.

And I don't blame her.

¶ ¶

jd, can I ask you something, celeb to normal person?

Shoot.

Let's say I was really tight

with my daughter's ex-boyfriend,

but they're no longer on speaking terms,

what's the protocol, you know, for him and I?

Oh, uh, yeah, that's... That's pretty cut and dried.

You cannot stay friends.

That's what I thought.

Okay, um, we wanted to catch you up, 'cause there have been

some important developments in the case.

We have reason to believe that the crime lord known as mutter

is actually luisa alver's mother, Mia alver,

who was presumed dead.

We think mutter kidnapped luisa to send a message to rose.

(Tapping on glass) She's here.

Hey, guys, so weird that you called me

because I was about to call you.

I think my mother might be alive.

Okay, luisa, let's have a little chat in private.

Oh, sure.

Oh, God, please don't read that terrible article

about my family.

I was taken totally out of context.

Latin lover narrator: And here's the guy who took her out of context.

Oh, great.

Not what she needs today. What are you doing here?

Don't you have another friendship to exploit

so that you can advance your journalism career?

I'm sorry if you felt betrayed,

but that was a really great story,

and you weren't using it.

That's because it's not a story.

It's my son's family.

Which is why I'm going to the Dean.

Because there must be some clause to kick out

some evil, amoral little piece of...

You know what, I would tell you what Jane said next,

but I'm a gentleman.

Hi, I'm Jane villanueva,

and I'd like to make an appointment with the Dean.

Urgently.

But very respectfully.

Oh, did you decide to enroll next semester after all?

What are you talking about? I'm a full-time grad student.

Oh, well, since you didn't pay tuition next semester,

we assumed you were taking a little time off.

No, I have the elodea Gale vigor scholarship.

It covers the whole year.

Elodea who?

There's a need-based scholarship

for creative writing students

whose writing the committee loves.

It's $15,000 per semester.

Holy crap!

Oh, my God, this solves all my tuition problems. Yes.

A need-based scholarship for students

whose writing the committee loves?

Look, there's got to be a way to find out

where the money came from.

There's a phone number associated with the payments.

Here you go. Thank you.

(Phone line rings)

Rogelio: ¶ it's another beautiful day to call rogelio ¶

¶ leave me a message ¶

¶ I'll call you back. ¶

Latin lover narrator: Uh-oh.

The same rogelio de LA vega

who can't afford pizza toppings?

So first, I just wanted to clear everything up

and say that I'm still enrolled, definitely.

Your father made up a fake scholarship?

Yes.

I know, he's a bit eccentric.

In any case, I was wondering

if there were any ta positions left.

I do have teaching experience.

Yeah, you know, I'm sorry.

Not this late in the game.

You know what? This won't solve your problem,

but I think it could help chip away a little.

Um, there is a nice cash prize

for a short story submission.

I have tons of short stories.

In one of the following genres?

Uh, historical fiction,

thriller, and Sci-Fi.

I can write a new short story.

Which category, do you think?

I'm not sure. Why don't you write

a few pages on each and I'll help you pick?

Oh. Okay.

No problem. Great.

Go. Write like the wind.

Whoosh!

Latin lover narrator: And speaking of elodea Gale vigor...

Great coffee, right?

Oh. I don't think it was worth the drive...

Oh, my God, jd.

Look who's here.

I guess I might as well go and say hi.

Excuse me.

Ex-excuse me. Excuse me.

Michael.

What a surprise.

This is my coffee place.

We've been here together, like, 20 times.

I know.

Well, what's... What's going on, rogelio?

I miss you. I mean,

we were in a pretty serious bromance.

Oh, I don't know if it was a bromance.

Thank you.

Michael, come on.

There are some things going on

and you give such good advice.

So... I was thinking,

if I asked Jane and she okayed the friendship,

could we...

Maybe... hang?

Latin lover narrator: It should be noted

that this is what Michael wanted to say.

Sure, bro. You crack me up.

Latin lover narrator: And this is what he actually said.

I just think it's-it's better for me

if we all kind of...

Move on.

Latin lover narrator: And this is what rogelio wanted to say.

Really?

Just like that?

Latin lover narrator: Oh.

That's what he actually said.

Decaf chai cinnamon latte. Extra wet.

Thought you were fired. Latin lover narrator: Oh. These two

haven't seen each other in a while.

Probation. Good looking out, though, thank you.

Susanna: Okay.

Now that you have your brother

and your special tea,

you want to talk to us about your mother?

Uh, sure. I just, um...

I don't remember much.

I was... I was six

when she died.

When-when she didn't die.

(Sighs)

There's something on another topic, though.

Make it quick.

Sure.

I've been communicating with rose online

for the past six months.

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. How?

Nothing crime-related, though.

Just... just personal stuff.

Light role-play, um,

there's-there's a web site...

I'll get a secure computer.

What's the name of the web site?

Michael: No, no!

When was the last time you talked to her?

Like... a week ago?

Ma, he's gonna tell you the same answer

on the phone or in person.

He doesn't know when your green card will come.

Okay, I have a plan of attack. One--

win fiction writing contest.

Two-- trade in my car for a cheaper one.

Three-- waitress again.

At night, of course. Four-- take out a very,

very limited loan.

(Knocking) Five-- tell your father.

No. And don't either of you say anything, please.

I put him on a budget,

and I don't want him compromising because of me.

Hey, dad.

Jane! (Laughs) Mwah!

Matelio. Hey, jd.

All right, everyone is here.

Let mateo's first Christmas season commence.

So no Rafael?

No, thank God.

I unlinked our calendars.

Latin lover narrator: Oh, my God! It's Rafael's mother.

Why'd you leave?

Your father

offered me $10 million to go away...

And I took it.

What are you doing here?

The police have questions

about your father's first wife, Mia.

Well, I'm sure they'll fill you in.

Rafael, wait. Please.

I haven't stopped thinking about you.

There was so much more I wanted to explain.

Stop.

I have a son now.

Yes. And there is no...

Explanation or amount of money

that could ever make me leave him.

Rogelio: I was thinking about

the Rafael situation. I know. It's awful.

Xiomara: What is? Jane: The Rafael situation.

No, no. No Rafael talk.

We're doing Christmas. Ma, time for the story about the tree topper.

(Electronic chime) No, not just because it's from Venezuela.

Something with meaning.

A "c."

Why am I stuck?

This makes no sense. Jane: This makes no sense.

(Tapping keyboard)

(Tapping keyboard)

(Tapping keyboard)

(Tapping keyboard)

(Tapping keyboard)

Huh.

(Panting)

(Tapping keyboard)

Latin lover narrator: Remember, Jane, stay calm.

¶ ¶

(exhales)

So if I refused to give him mateo for Christmas,

can a judge use that against me in custody court?

Latin lover narrator: Oh, good, looks like she found a lawyer.

I'm sorry, but...

I'm an immigration attorney.

In case you were wondering,

alba got to ask her question already.

No green card involved.

Can I be Frank? Mm-hmm.

The baby's father is Rafael solano, right?

As in... this

geez, Rafael solano?

That thing's everywhere. Mm-hmm.

Here's my advice-- get in touch with the author of this article.

What?

Well, he insinuates

massive financial improprieties on Mr. solano's part.

And if that's true,

if he is involved in ongoing criminal activities,

well...

You'd have a case for full custody.

Whoa.

Jane.

No, of course not.

But I do want to know what else he lied about.

I mean, what if it's something bad?

I have to make sure that mateo's safe, abuela.

Jane: Wesley. Wesley: What, are you

following me around now just so you can yell at me?

Calm, calm.

I looked in the handbook,

and I can report you to the Dean for...

"Violating a fellow student's reasonable expectation

of confidentiality."

But I won't

if you reveal your source inside the marbella.

Please... don't get me fired.

I love this job...

You talked about a secret account-- where was the money going?

Uh, Rafael was being secretive; I didn't ask.

I can get you the number of the place.

And the address.

Oh, raf. What are you up to?

Why aren't you returning my calls?

It's a long story.

She is not taking my death well.

What's going on? I just wanted to see

what time our doctor's appointment was.

Are you okay?

It's just a blood sugar thing.

Petra's a little hungry.

Aren't you, darling?

Yes. Don't worry.

Bye-bye.

Divka, great news.

It's been 48 hours.

Now he just decomposes.

I can't do this. I have to tell.

Who? Rafael?

Good.

While you're at it...

Tell him how you covered up for me

when I pushed Jane's granny down stairs,

I'm sure he'll understand.

Wow. She's a real piece of work, your mother.

Susanna: All the personal effects

luisa has from her mother.

Anything interesting?

Haven't looked. Came straight over.

(Sighs)

What's wrong? You all right?

Yeah.

I just think luisa... Is flirting with me, maybe.

Why do you say that?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh. Do... do I have something there?

Do you see it?

Mm-mm. Oh. Maybe it's just my nipple.

Stop. Stop laughing.

(Sighs)

(Sighs)

(Whispering inaudibly)

What?

Look. Check out the date on this picture.

It's dated two days before Mia jumped off the bridge.

Hurricane shutters.

Latin lover narrator: Aha. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Because I'm thinking I hope they tell us

what they're thinking because I have no idea.

Okay, so here's what I'm thinking.

Oh, good. The tropical storm

would have impacted the tides and currents,

so when she jumped...

Our search area was too small. Exactly.

And speaking of breakthroughs...

Oh, information on raf's secret account.

Jane, do you really want to go down this road?

Ooh!

That's a sketchy part of town.

You definitely do not want to go down that road.

And I guess she went down that road.

(Door closes)

(Gasps)

Yeah, so that's what Janie

imagined Rafael was up to.

And what she used as inspiration

to write her thriller,

while she debated what to do

about that phone number.

Woman: Hello?

Hello.

Are you there?

Yes.

Are you safe?

Yes, I'm safe.

I'm actually looking for Rafael solano.

Are you a reporter?

No. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not--

if this is about that article, you should know

we wouldn't be open were it not for Mr. solano's funding.

I'm sorry, open for what? I-I was looking online

and trying to figure it out, but I--

we're a domestic abuse shelter.

You won't find us online,

because people who come here don't want to be found.

Wait, you're a charity?

Yes, leave us alone.

Rogelio: Oh, no!

What? Jd failed the prince William test!

The what now?

In order to see if a new friend can be trusted,

prince William tells them a very specific piece of information

to see if it shows up in the press.

Jd? Yeah?

I'm gonna tell you a juicy piece of gossip.

I once had a torrid love affair with charo.

You slept with charo?

Of course not, but look.

It's all over the Internet.

(Phone ringing) (Gasps)

Oh, my God, it's charo.

I don't know how I misjudged the guy.

I really thought he was gonna be my guy pelly.

Rogelio, is everything okay?

You've seemed a little...

I don't know-- desperate for a friend?

If you're looking for someone to talk to it can be, you know.

Come on, what is it?

A budget?

Not at all.

Then, what's going on?

Well, sometimes these...

Um, feelings come up.

In the past, I've talked to Michael,

vent a little and get over it.

But that's clearly not appropriate anymore.

What feelings exactly?

Angry ones.

About the 23 years

you kept me from Jane.

And I know it's not

the same thing, but when I see her push Rafael out

and you encouraging her,

it just brings it back up.

Yeah, I get that.

Hey.

How are you? Not great.

I found out where Rafael's money was going.

To a charity.

I mean,

I don't know what I was thinking, except that I was...

Just so mad.

I know.

So maybe the lady

on the Santa line was right.

Latin lover narrator: Ah yes, here we are. At a three-starred

rate-a-doc reviewed therapist. Which was

the best Jane and Rafael could find

under such short notice.

Thank you so much for squeezing us in.

Yeah. And you're sure

you're credentialed?

Yes, I just have a young face.

So why don't we give you some backstory?

Oh, I don't need backstory.

I deal in the present.

So why don't you guys tell me why you're here?

Okay, um... I just found out that Rafael's been lying to me

for six months... I'm gonna stop you

right there. Let's avoid using language that places blame.

So instead, we'll say "I feel".

An example would be, you know,

"I feel hurt that he didn't notice my new haircut."

Got it.

I feel...

Angry.

That after our son was kidnapped by sin rostro

and my ex-fiancé Michael rescued him,

that Rafael decided to pay someone off

to lie to the police.

And I feel angry

that Jane doesn't realize

that I had no choice.

She was blinded by Michael

and that I was trying to protect my family.

Okay, maybe I just need, like, a teensy bit of backstory.

Latin lover narrator: And speaking of a complicated backstory...

You found my mom?

We think so.

We expanded our search area, found an incident report

of a woman who washed ashore

18 Miles from where Emilio saw your mother jump.

She was pulled from the water

wearing a bracelet that said "Mia",

but she had a head injury,

so she didn't even know her last name.

She was sent to the hospital for treatment,

then confined to...

The burnwall-meriweather home for the mentally ill.

The home was closed about a year later

and she was transferred to a less restrictive institution.

She's had access to the outside world,

sometimes for days at a time,

which is what she'd need if she were operating as

the drug lord mutter.

So... what happens now?

Well, that's where we could use your help.

You think that'll help?

It might. But you both seem

very stuck in your points of view.

So... Jane, why don't you take me back

to the incident that started everything,

but try to tell it to me from Rafael's point of view.

Um...

Okay.

Uh, so...

I'm Rafael.

And I'm lying there,

and I hear that Jane kissed Michael,

and so at first, I'm feeling sad.

I mean...

Just really sad.

And my heart hurts.

But you know what, instead of saying anything,

I'll pretend to be asleep.

And then later, I just start thinking and thinking,

and I say to myself: (Chuckles)

I could make this whole thing go away.

I can get rid of Michael. All I have to do is pay someone off,

because I'm rich.

Rules? What rules?

I don't like something? Boom, I pay my henchman.

Rafael: I got a henchman now?

Seriously? You have a guy you paid to break the law.

As far as I'm concerned, that's a henchman.

Okay, my turn.

I'm Jane. Ready?

So, I'm in my room, right by the baby monitor,

because that's my favorite place to talk.

And I'm listening to Michael confessing how he let

the person go who was involved in the kidnapping of my son.

But you know what? (Short chuckle) Who cares?

Because it's you, Michael.

It's you! And, sure,

you've been shady, but I just...

I love you. Even though you broke the law and freed Nadine,

who worked for sin rostro, who kidnapped our son

and killed my father.

I'm sorry, I-I can't do this.

I wasn't even thinking about your father.

I know.

Because of Michael.

And yeah, maybe I was jealous.

But sin rostro was out there and Michael was compromised

and you couldn't see it.

And I knew that if I came forward...

I would lose you.

Yeah, I get that.

But it was just the lying.

The six months of lying.

Jane, why do you think lying

is such a trigger for you?

Hi.

I'm luisa alver,

I'm here to visit my mother, Mia.

You're Mia's daughter? Yeah.

I know. Uh, we just found out that she's here.

It's-it's a long story.

Uh, could my wife and I

see her?

Mia?

You have a visitor, dear.

Oh, my God.

Latin lover narrator: Mamma Mia.

That's not my mom.

Latin lover narrator: Or not.

So we're talking a straight-up identity swap.

It must be.

Is she okay?

Michael: Oh...

Go.

Talk to your wife.

(Sighs)

Susanna: And during a transfer

of patients, the bus broke down.

And that's when we think your mother switched I.D.S with

a nonverbal patient.

And ever since then, we think

she's been running her operation as a ghost.

Oh. (Chuckles)

Is that all?

I know. (Chuckles)

Are you okay?

(Sniffles) I'm just...

I'm trying to make sense of it all.

I guess my mom's a psychopath.

And maybe that's...

Why I fell in love with rose.

Why it all felt so...

Familiar.

Yeah.

Okay. Maybe.

What a cliché, no?

I agree. It's not that great.

(Doorbell rings)

That's jd. Stay calm.

How could you?

Uh, what?

Don't "uh, what" me.

I know exactly what you are!

A betrayer. As slippery as they come!

You're right.

I'm a shape-shifter.

And the fact

that you know,

it's a real problem.

W...

(Gasps)

Xiomara: I didn't.

But then again, it could be me.

Jane: Mom,

stop.

I'm jd.

Chavez: Okay, I read all three stories.

And, uh, the science fiction one is really crazy.

I know. I-it's not my genre.

So of the other two?

Just go with romance.

I'm sorry, what? The contest is

fiction in any genre.

I elodea Gale vigor'd you there, huh?

What?

(Chuckles)

Misled you for your own good.

You seemed a little stuck in your own perspective.

Latin lover narrator: You know, she's actually been hearing that a lot lately.

I gave you the historical fiction 'cause I wanted you

to get a feeling for time and place.

And then the thriller was so that

you could work on the element of surprise.

And the science fiction

was...

I don't know.

You have to break the rules a little more. In general.

But again, that piece didn't work at all, so...

Um... just go write

a great story.

The deadline is two weeks.

Okay. I will.

You know, but in the interest of full disclosure,

I am the tiniest bit aggravated

because I had a lot going on this week.

This might help.

A t.A. Position opened up.

What? Apparently,

Wesley is not going to be enrolling next semester.

Seriously?

That's what I'm being told.

And I-I get to have his job?

(Giggles)

I'm sorry, but you're fired.

(Scoffs) What?

You betrayed my trust

by revealing the intimate secret

I shared with you to tmz.

About you and charo?

No,

I didn't.

Who else could it be?

One of the two other people

who were in the room when you told me.

I once had

a torrid love affair with charo.

Rogelio!

I-I'm so sorry for doubting you.

But now we can continue to develop our friendship.

I don't want to be friends with you.

Rogelio, you don't know one thing about me.

Yes, I do.

You are... an intern.

I'm a writer, okay?

And I'm good, too.

Here. Um, read my script at some point.

Or don't.

Either way, I'm-I'm done being your intern.

(Gasps) But...

I know what I have to do.

Read his script? Get him

a wall of flowers,

like kanye gets Kim.

Read the script.

(Sighs)

Jane: Hi, dad.

How did it go with Rafael?

Good, actually.

Look, I don't agree with what he did, but I see why he did it.

And the lying

I'll get over.

I guess I realized it's something I'm sensitive to

because of... well, you know...

...the 23 years we lost.

I guess it still comes up once in a while.

Yeah.

W-with me, too.

But you should know that now

I can't imagine life without you.

You, too.

Elodea Gale vigor.

You know?

Well, I'm glad

I paid the whole year, you know,

before all these money troubles. (Chuckles)

Yeah. Good thing. (Chuckles)

Come on.

Let's go decorate the tree.

Are you ready

to put the angel on top, mateo?

Matelio. He's ready. Yes.

(Chuckles) Xiomara: Oh, crap.

I forgot. I broke it. What?

I meant to tell you the box fell down right before

mateo's baptism, but things were all crazy.

It's just a crack. I'll get glue.

What? But, mom, where is it?

I left it in there. (Gasps)

I swear.

Jane: We'll find it.

Don't worry.

Should we be worried?

Well, high blood pressure isn't good.

She really needs to take it easy,

reduce stress. That's what I keep telling her.

I will. Yes.

I'll have you back in next week, to check those numbers.

Thank you. Thank you, doctor.

Okay, Petra, what's going on?

Nothing. I'm fine. No, you're not.

And whatever it is, it's affecting the babies.

So please tell me.

I can't.

You can.

It's bad.

Trust me, I know...

Good people do bad things.

My mother killed Ivan, and I helped her bury the body.

Latin lover narrator: Yeah. Usually not that bad.

Latin lover narrator: You'll recall, we left Petra confiding in Rafael.

And it should be noted,

she told him everything,

including...

Is that all?

Almost. There were these grenades

that milos was hiding in the hotel, and, uh,

my mother and I threw them into the ocean. That's

how she lost her hand.

And her eye.

I-I...

I know.

I told you it was bad.

Do you hate me?

No.

Wow.

I did not see that coming.

If anything, I think

I finally understand you

and everything that's been going on.

So let's get your mother out of your life, huh?

Wesley: Really?

The least you could do is admit you got me kicked out of school.

But I didn't. I didn't even speak to the Dean.

Well, someone did!

Jane: You said Wesley resigned.

I misspoke. He was removed

for violating a fellow student's reasonable expectation

of confidentiality.

Latin lover narrator: Like I said,

that thing's everywhere. Now get

to work on your story.

And so Jane did.

Jane: The thunder was loud and echoed as she walked.

But still, she was quiet,

praying that she would not be heard.

You know what's in your heart.

You only have to listen to it.

And just then, as though it was scripted,

the door to the castle blew open

and Amelia saw him.

Her knight in filthy armor.

Latin lover narrator: Right.

There's still... that.

("Wonderful christmastime" playing in distance)

¶ Simply having ¶

¶ a wonderful christmastime ¶

awesome. Que Rico. Huh?

¶ About the town ¶

xiomara: So good. Qué Rico, huh?

¶ To lift a glass ¶

¶ ah, don't look down ¶

(speaking Spanish)

¶ The party's on ¶

¶ the spirits up ¶

what's that?

It's our angel.

What? How?

¶ Simply having ¶

¶ a wonderful christmastime ¶

¶ simply having ¶

Michael. Latin lover narrator: And I'm not

gonna lie, it felt a little like a Christmas miracle.

Oh... my... God.

As did this.

My intern's script is amazing.

Completely original.

It's about thiago,

a time traveler cobbler

who is also a devastatingly handsome ladies' man.

Matelio.

Or he will be

once I have given

my first round of notes.

I have found

my next passion project.

(Chuckling): Yeah.

¶ This time of year ¶

¶ simply ¶

(sobs)

(Laughter, crying)

Mommy. (Laughs)

¶ Simply having ¶

¶ simply having ¶

¶ a wonderful christmastime ¶

¶ simply ¶

¶ having a wonderful christmastime. ¶

and then there was Petra.

Call the police.

(Knocking)

Your mother needs to be in jail.

Is Petra solano here? Yes?

You're under arrest for the murder of Ivan rogachevsky.

What? I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I had to tell them what you did.

What are you talking about? What-what did you do? You have the right to remain silent.

(Lightning crashing) Mother, what did you do?!

Yeah, see that's the thing about miracles.

There are only so many of them.

Or we wouldn't call them miracles, would we?