Original subtitles

URUSEI YATSURA (Those Obnoxious Aliens)

Don't get so fidgety!

You're always looking all overthe place!

Stop looking away from me!

More than anyone else, I...

...love you, love you, love you the best!

...love you, love you, love you!

...love you, love you, love you!

...love you, love you, love you!

On nights when the stars are twinkling...

...I dream all about you.

I love you, but you act like you don't know.

I bet you're crazy for someone else by now!

Ah! Men all have so many loves.

Ah! You're spreading them all over...

...and making me worry!

Don't get so fidgety!

You're always looking all overthe place!

Stop looking away from me!

More than anyone else, I...

...love you the best! Love you the best!

THE MENDOU SIBLINGS!

Hey, Chibi, where did you go after that?

Huh? What's that?

Huh? Lum, is there a town festival today?

That's called an "oxcart."

Wow. Lum, you sure know a lot. Huh? W... What's that?

Shoo, shoo. I'm telling you to go away.

What is this black thing, Lum?

Huh? I dunno...

Haven't we arrived yet?

There's someone inside, Lum!

You're right.

I'm bored! Is there nothing of interest?

Please be patient. We are traveling incognito.

Hey, did you hear that? He said they're traveling incognito!

THIS is supposed to be "traveling incognito?!"

It's a smell of a lovely flower.

This handkerchief must belong to one heck of a beautiful lady.

Miss, you have dropped your handkerchief.

Thank you very much indeed.

That voice! There must be a beautiful girl inside!

Would you mind coming around to the front of the cart?

Not at all! If you say so, I don't mind.

Darling, I'm gonna lynch you later!

Your hand, please.

Yes.

Oh, w... what a cold, soft hand she has.

Wh... What a sweet girl!

A... A sweet girl...

I'm paralyzed with fear!

Darling, hang on!

Hey, did you see what happened this morning?

Oh yeah, I heard that a monster appeared. Me too.

Right out in broad daylight, first thing in the morning.

Ha! More stupid talk.

I'm not lying!

I looked her straight in the eye and shook her hand.

And to make matters worse, she hugged me! Huh?

Just thinking about it...

How ridiculous.

Did you see it?

Oh, yeah, I saw it.

"Kuroko:" 'officially invisible' kabuki stagehands.

There was a weird woman in an oxcart thumping along, led by kuroko!

Kuroko?!

Just putting it in words is frightening. A weird woman in an oxcart...

An oxcart... A weird woman...

It couldn't be...

Aw, dammit!

Thanks to that monster from this morning, my appetite's shot.

Excuse us.

Pardon us.

Excuse us.

We have arrived, Milady. We have arrived, Milady.

As I thought. It was you.

Oh, how did you know that I was coming?

Well, you see...

Hey, Mendou, who is this girl?

Who is she?

What's your relationship to her?

Tell us!

Mendou!

Oh, this is...

We are...

...engaged.

No way!

Is that true, Mendou?

What?

How can that be? How mean of you to hide it all this time!

Ryoko!

Say something, Ryoko! Huh?

Here, come this way.

Let's run away together.

You will be unhappy if you stay with him.

Th... That was you this morning...

What?

Look, it's me.

Ryoko!

What? Oh, what's the matter?

See that? All because of your nonsense!

I'm sorry. But...

That's my big brother all right. You sure are popular with the girls.

Naturally.

"Big brother?!"

Yes, that's right. My sister loves practical jokes.

Pat pat pat, big brother.

Don't DO that!

By the way, Ryoko, what are you doing here?

Actually, I came to bring you your lunch box.

I see. That's very nice of you.

Huh? W... Wait a minute.

I have my lunch box right here.

That can't be.

Look. Here it is.

But didn't you forget it?

Wait, when are you talking about?

Monday.

Um, but today is Wednesday, you know.

Oh, so you mean that's from two days ago?

No, it's from the week before, making it nine days ago.

We took many breaks, and at any rate, an ox walks very slowly.

Who the hell delivers lunches by oxcart?!

Well, that explains why I haven't seen you lately.

Here, big brother. Please hurry and eat.

Raw fish, egg, fresh vegetables, all foods that spoil easily.

Here, here!

It's completely spoiled.

And all sticky too!

I'm sorry, but I'm full.

Bi... Big brother...

I'm sorry, but I'm full.

And here I've just taken the last week and two days off from school...

...been bounced around in an oxcart...

What on Earth was it for?!

Oh, the bastard made her cry!

Oh, Ryoko! Ryoko! Hey, don't cry.

You're mean, big brother! After I went to the trouble to bring it to you!

Ryoko! Hey, don't cry.

Ryoko, how sweet of you to spend a week and two days for me...

How pitiful.

I'll eat it.

What?!

R... Really?!

Sure.

Come.

Don't DO it!

Don't do it! You'll get ptomaine poisoning!

Ataru, stop it. Don't do it.

I'm telling you, don't do it.

Lum.

Don't interfere!

Darling, open wide!

"Darling?!"

The wife is helping her husband eat.

What? It's my lunch. I will help you.

Th... Thank you.

Don't trouble yourself!

You too, please stop being so forward.

Ryoko! Don't start anything with Moroboshi!

You shut up!

That's no way to talk to your big brother!

Humph! How can you say that? You wouldn't even eat my lunch.

You and I are no longer brother and sister!

And compared to you, this gentleman...

I'm Moroboshi Ataru.

...has moved me with his sincerity.

It's love born of desperation.

Darling, she's the daughter of the Mendou Family!

So what?

The difference in social strata is too much! Besides, you're scum.

I can't entrust my beloved little sister to such as you.

Oh, shut up with your squealing! Do it!

Yes, ma'am!

Hey, what are you doing? Hey, stop it!

Stop it, you! No!

Stop this! Let me out!

Big brother, you are so naive. The Kuroko all obey me, absolutely.

It's dark! I'm scared!

It's cramped! I'm scared!

Look, Mendou's...

He's afraid of the dark.

He's claustrophobic.

What a loser!

How wonderful.

How cute.

My maternal instincts are awakening.

I want to protect him.

What? What? Anything goes if he's handsome, is that it?!

Oh? Hey, hey, look.

We're just like Romeo and Juliet.

Oh, I'm touched.

My goodness!

Let's play Romeo and Juliet, then.

What?

Please come and see me secretly.

Oh, yes!

Promise?

O... Of course, I will come to see you.

No!

Big brother!

Are you all right, Mr. Moroboshi?

I will not be beaten. Besides...

...the more obstacles there are, the more fervent my fighting spirit will be.

What?! If you so much as set foot on the Mendou Family estate...

...I will kill you on the spot!

Well, then, I'll lose no time in getting there.

Darling! How can you say such a thing in front of me?

I will interfere any way I can!

But I'm going!

If you do, I'll kill you!

Enough! I won't let it happen!

It seems like I won't be bored for awhile.

Ryoko, I hear that you have a new boyfriend.

Yes, Father.

His name is Moroboshi Ataru. He is a classmate of big brother's.

He should be coming over tonight.

Shutaro, I hope he isn't strange.

He is the worst type of man.

Big brother!

Uh-huh.

Especially when it comes to his tenacity toward women.

Whose is stronger, his or yours?

Well, Shutaro?

Sign: "I lose!"

Sign: "I lose!"

Moroboshi is more tenacious.

Liar!

Excuse me! It's true!

That's wonderful! This means he will come to see me, no matter what.

Shutaro.

But please do not worry, Father.

I have planted piranha in the outermost moat...

...there is high-voltage electrical current running through the fence...

...a bay crocodile in the innermost freshwater moat...

...and a great white shark in the seawater moat as well.

I've unleashed the Dobermans and planted mines.

Not even Moroboshi could sneak in.

Hmph! That's inadequate.

Huh?!

If his tenacity toward women is stronger than yours, that's a problem.

Shutaro!

I authorize deployment of the private army!

Father!

To the private army. All hands, man your stations.

Moroboshi Ataru is invading the Mendou estate.

Close all gates on the premises.

Don't let Moroboshi Ataru set foot on this estate!

The main entrance of the Mendou estate is sealed.

The West Gate is closed.

The East Gate is closed.

Mini-Chopper Squadron standing by.

Come if you can, Moroboshi Ataru.

Young Master, your friend is here now.

Good evening, Ryoko.

It... It's you! Moroboshi Ataru! How did you sneak in?

Sneak, you say? I was guided here from the main entrance.

Look at how heavily equipped I am.

See? I came here with a resolve born of desperation.

Why did you let him in? For what did we arrange all this?

Uh, because I recognized him.

Get him out of here immediately!

Yes, sir.

Mr. Moroboshi came to see me.

You shut your mouth!

Big brother!

"He who thwarts another's love...

"...will be kicked by a horse and die."

Come. Now is the time. Mount this and ride away.

You're coming with me.

Oh...

Not now. Please, come to my room later on.

All right, then. See you later.

Hi-ho Silver!

Damn you, Moroboshi Ataru!

Change from defensive posture to offensive posture!

Hey you!

What?

You told me you were gonna take me some place fun, so here I am.

I look like an idiot now!

Shut up! This is where the action starts! Huh?

W... What the? Hey! Oh...

Mr. Ataru, we must leave you now!

Hey, wait a minute. Hold it, I said!

Please take good care of Miss Ryoko.

Hey, hey, hold it! Huh? What?

Hey you! You really made me look like an idiot!

Shut up! Don't talk to me at a time like this!

You seem desperate, Moroboshi Ataru.

Mini-chopper squadron, spread out over Area 44.

Shutaro Swamp Coast Guard: Take station at the East Shore.

Infantry company: Assemble at West Tower.

Intruder in World's Dumbest Son District!

What?!

Put it on the monitor!

Umm, yummy!

W... What the?

She's eating high-voltage electricity like it was candy, Young Master!

Miss Lum!

Escort her to the manor. Make sure not to offend her in the slightest.

Yes, sir!

Dammit!

Huh? I got him!

What do I do? I don't have that many hammers!

This way. This way!

Huh?

This way! Over here!

There's a Buddha even in Hell!

You saved me.

Therefore, because of that...

...I can't let Moroboshi Ataru and Ryoko meet, Miss Lum.

On this point, our interests coincide. So why don't we cooperate?

OK.

Very well.

Miss Lum, the electricity! The electricity! It's affecting me!

Miss Lum, what's happened to you?

I'm sorry. I'm overcharged, and I can't control myself.

It's open now. Please go ahead.

Thank you.

Ten, breathe fire!

Well? Aren't you glad you came along?

It's looking dumber and dumber!

L... Lum!

Darling, it's dangerous for you to stay there.

This way. This way!

Darling, hurry up.

Hey!

You don't have to hurry that much.

This way!

Lum! Lum!

Lum!

Lum!

That's far enough, Moroboshi.

I will now avenge the many grievances...

...which I've suffered since my transfer to Tomobiki High.

Ready!

Aim!

Wait!

Shutaro, this violates our agreement!

Why you! Take this!

Romeo is there, in those lights, isn't he?

Please come to Juliet, quickly!

Ryoko! I'll be right there.

Darling, let's go home.

I won't leave here until I see Ryoko!

Hey, you! Do you know where Ryoko is?

Oh, that's right!

Where is she, anyway?

You really are an idiot.

I will tell you.

Oh, Kuroko.

The Princess is locked in that tower.

I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks.

I can also do this!

Don't!

Ah, there're guards.

Of course there are! You are a real dummy!

Just go in, already!

Shut up! What if they see us?

You hit me!

You think you can belittle me?!

DIE!

A... A suspicious person!

A suspicious person! Everybody come here!

I don't care anymore. I'm gonna break in!

A suspicious person? Where is he? Is he here? Where is he?

He's not there.

You idiots!

He might be inside, you know.

Inside! Inside. What? Where is he?

Huh? What the?! He must be outside. Yeah! Outside!

You idiots!

Ryoko, here I come!

What the? What the?

Thanks, Ten.

I wouldn't want to be found dead with another guy!

Crush Ataru, not me!

Never underestimate Moroboshi Ataru!

Ryoko, here I come!

I see. He IS far greater than Shutaro.

What are you doing there?

Hang in there! Just a little more!

What are you doing? Hey! Hey!

You look great. Hang in there!

What's with this clothing?

Yo! Romeo!

Moroboshi Ataru has arrived!

Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Ryoko!

Call her "Juliet!"

Oh... Juliet!

This is the end, Moroboshi!

Romeo, I will help you!

Oh! There they are!

JULIET!

ROMEO!

Ro... Romeo!

I, Juliet, will live enough for both of us, my dear Romeo.

Hey, according to the script, Juliet commits suicide after Romeo.

Forget it!

What is this? I was an idiot right up to the end!

OK, Darling, let's go home.

Is that OK?

Thank you.

Curtain: "To Miss Ryoko"

Ten brought a really big cat home!

This cat LOVES kotatsu! "Kotatsu:" electric under-table footwarmers

He makes a secure blockade on the stairs, and Darling can't get down!

It's a big problem!

Hey, cat, why are you so stuck on kotatsu?

We'll see you next time for "There's a Cat on the Stairs!"

Dashing through the dreaming galaxy to our rendezvous.

Chase a shooting star, and keep running until morning.

Cosmic Cycler, cycling in the starry sky... Run Run Run Run... Runaway Home!

Cosmic Cycler, wheeling in the starry sky... Run Run Run Run... Runaway Home!

The two of us faraway, on the freeway of the night sky.

Promise that tonight, you'll be mine, My Darling.

Cosmic Cycler, cycling in the starry sky... Run Run Run Run... Runaway Home!

Cosmic Cycler, wheeling in the starry sky... Run Run Run Run... Runaway Home!

Cosmic Cycler...

See you next time!