Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,440
- Quick!
2
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,479
Take this fire extinguisher,
follow the General!
3
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:34,520
That way!
4
00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:37,920
- Where are you going?
5
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,840
- I was just going out
for a little fresh air.
6
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,520
Smoke was getting in my lungs.
7
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,759
- You are here to blow
the safe, get on with it!
8
00:00:44,799 --> 00:00:47,439
Or you will die at the
hands of the Resistance!
9
00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:49,399
- My lungs have cleared.
10
00:00:49,439 --> 00:00:51,600
Give me help with this.
11
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:54,560
Right, now,
12
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:57,000
there is the safe.
13
00:00:57,039 --> 00:01:00,359
Get to work with this
explosive, here.
14
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,055
There is very little
time for me to tell you
15
00:01:03,079 --> 00:01:04,599
exactly what is going on.
16
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,799
Suffice to say that we are
going to blow up this safe
17
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,879
so that we can photograph the
plans
18
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,920
for the German invasion of
England which are inside it.
19
00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:13,560
- Detonate up.
- There.
20
00:01:13,599 --> 00:01:15,599
My wife Edith has caused a
diversion
21
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,280
by dropping a smoke bomb from
the roof down the chimney.
22
00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:22,879
Naturally, she dropped it
down the wrong chimney.
23
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:24,816
Let us just hope that it keeps
General von Klinkerhoffen
24
00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,000
busy for long enough for
us to make the explosion
25
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,280
and get out of here.
26
00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:29,719
- Fuse!
- Right.
27
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,799
- There is the fire, extinguish
it!
28
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,519
- In your efforts to prevent
the General
29
00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,079
from making amorous advances,
you have gone too far!
30
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,799
- I am not responsible for that!
31
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:44,760
Do you think I could start a
fire and ruin my own music?
32
00:01:44,799 --> 00:01:47,400
- Place the plinger and direct
the nizzle
33
00:01:47,439 --> 00:01:49,799
at the muddle of the fear.
34
00:01:57,719 --> 00:01:59,000
- Get out of my way!
35
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,439
I can spray this only once!
36
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,200
- This is definitely the
work of the Resistance!
37
00:02:05,239 --> 00:02:08,439
- Hm, anyone looking
suspicious will be shot.
38
00:02:08,479 --> 00:02:10,280
- Especially gypsies!
39
00:02:10,319 --> 00:02:13,159
- You're right, we will scapper.
40
00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:15,199
Create a diversion.
41
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,159
- Oh, the smoke, the smoke!
42
00:02:18,199 --> 00:02:19,479
I am overcome!
43
00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,599
- Oh, I will hold you, never
fear!
44
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:24,719
Gruber!
45
00:02:24,759 --> 00:02:26,439
- Yes?
- Where are those gypsies?
46
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:29,400
- I did not see, I have
been busy watering the fire.
47
00:02:29,439 --> 00:02:30,879
- Find them and arrest them!
48
00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:32,800
- Yes, where, matches.
49
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,280
Ah, good.
50
00:02:40,319 --> 00:02:42,319
- How long will it take?
- Not long.
51
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:43,400
- Alright.
- Hm, hm.
52
00:02:43,439 --> 00:02:45,199
- We will lie outside the door.
53
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:46,800
Somebody's coming!
54
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:47,919
They will see the safe!
55
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:48,800
Quick, the wardrobe!
56
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,120
- The wardrobe.
57
00:02:51,879 --> 00:02:55,439
- Not inside it, you stupid
young fool!
58
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,400
Where those gypsies?
59
00:03:02,439 --> 00:03:03,759
Quick, hide in one of the rooms!
60
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,039
- Quick, under the bed!
61
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,560
- Under the bed!
62
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,759
- Lock the door!
63
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,400
- There is no key!
64
00:03:12,439 --> 00:03:14,159
- Someone is coming!
65
00:03:14,199 --> 00:03:15,599
- Shall we hide under the bed?
66
00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:18,240
- No, that is the first
place they will look.
67
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,080
Hide in the wardrobe.
68
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:21,496
We must get out of these gypsy
clothes
69
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,639
as quickly as possible.
70
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:37,039
- Well, they are out of their
clothes.
71
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:46,280
- Down this chimney I heard
the voice of Herr Flick.
72
00:03:46,319 --> 00:03:49,680
- Down this one, I can hear
Crabtree and the General.
73
00:03:49,719 --> 00:03:52,680
- I think the operation is
not going according to plan.
74
00:03:52,719 --> 00:03:54,240
- Does it ever?
75
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:57,360
- It is best that we scapper.
76
00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:01,439
- Look that way, follow
me, there is a ladder.
77
00:04:04,479 --> 00:04:07,879
- Oh, there is at the foot
of this ladder a fire engine!
78
00:04:07,919 --> 00:04:10,120
- We will commandeer it.
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000, MPEGTS:0
79
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,439
- Quick, the safe, go!
80
00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:23,040
Now, you remove the plans,
I will prepare the camera.
81
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,600
- There are no plans.
- What?
82
00:04:27,639 --> 00:04:29,920
- Only these two old paintings.
83
00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:31,040
- What?
84
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:36,079
The Fallen Madonna with the
Big Boobies by van Klomp!
85
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:39,879
- This is the Cracked Vase with
the Big Daisies by Van Gogh!
86
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,800
- Well, these must be two more
forgeries.
87
00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:43,495
But what are they doing
in a safe in the bedroom
88
00:04:43,519 --> 00:04:45,319
of Lieutenant Gruber?
89
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,399
- Yeah, yeah, if they are
forgeries,
90
00:04:48,439 --> 00:04:50,040
why keep them in the safe?
91
00:04:50,079 --> 00:04:51,000
Gruber, where did
92
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,399
that explosion come from?
93
00:04:52,439 --> 00:04:54,639
I see the cape from my bedroom
pigeonhole.
94
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,240
- Quick, the bed!
95
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,839
- Oh dear, somebody has
tampered with the safe!
96
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:08,199
General?
- Hm?
97
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,319
- I'm afraid our paintings have
gone.
98
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:11,879
- I trust they were forgeries.
99
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,399
- No, they were the originals
100
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:15,720
which I have attained for you,
101
00:05:15,759 --> 00:05:17,399
because you said if I did not
do so,
102
00:05:17,439 --> 00:05:19,680
you would send me to the
Russian front.
103
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,600
- Are you absolutely
certain that the originals
104
00:05:21,639 --> 00:05:22,839
were in the safe?
105
00:05:22,879 --> 00:05:25,279
- Positive, General, all
the others are forgeries.
106
00:05:25,319 --> 00:05:27,319
The Colonel thinks he has the
van Gogh,
107
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,120
but that too is a forgery.
108
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,399
- This is very serious.
109
00:05:30,439 --> 00:05:31,839
Especially for you, Gruber.
110
00:05:31,879 --> 00:05:35,560
Could find yourself in
Vladivostok by next week.
111
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,399
- This must be the work of the
Resistance.
112
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,120
- Put a cold around the area.
113
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,399
Erect roadblocks.
114
00:05:41,439 --> 00:05:44,639
Arrest anyone who is not in
uniform.
115
00:05:45,319 --> 00:05:46,399
- The fire is out.
116
00:05:46,439 --> 00:05:47,800
We have done our duty as
firemen.
117
00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:51,800
- We will now climb
down the lidder and goo.
118
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,879
- Where is the fire engine?
119
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,519
- Somebody has droven it awoo.
120
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,759
- It must be the gypsies!
121
00:06:05,879 --> 00:06:07,160
- Guards!
122
00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:10,439
Arrest all gypsies driving fire
engines!
123
00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:13,920
- We will have to wick home.
124
00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:17,000
- Alright Gruber, the
Resistance must be behind this.
125
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,360
Come to my office.
126
00:06:18,399 --> 00:06:19,615
We will instruct our
patrols to arrest anyone
127
00:06:19,639 --> 00:06:21,120
not wearing a German uniform.
128
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:24,240
Those paintings must be
recovered!
129
00:06:30,319 --> 00:06:33,040
Rene, I have an idea.
- What?
130
00:06:33,079 --> 00:06:35,160
- If we give them back the
paintings,
131
00:06:35,199 --> 00:06:36,839
thy will let us go.
132
00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:38,519
- Yes, in coffins.
133
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,240
- If they capture us dressed
like this,
134
00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:43,800
goodness knows what they will
do to us.
135
00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:45,079
- Here.
136
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:46,600
- Get that firemen stuff off
quick.
137
00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,199
Put this on, now.
138
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,439
- Have you seen Rene?
139
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:03,839
- He has not come back here.
140
00:07:03,879 --> 00:07:06,319
- I fear he is still
trapped in the chateau.
141
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,959
- I will go at once to the
chateau.
142
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,519
I will knife the guards,
I will shoot the General,
143
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,879
I will blow up the chateau and
rescue him.
144
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:17,079
- With you here, we do not
need anyone else in the world.
145
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,439
- Someone is coming!
146
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,600
- Oh, it is probably him.
147
00:07:20,639 --> 00:07:21,639
- It is Michelle.
148
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,759
- With that British idiot,
Crabtree.
149
00:07:27,759 --> 00:07:31,360
- We have just had a very
narrow squawk.
150
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,399
- The plan has gone wrong.
151
00:07:33,439 --> 00:07:34,920
My husband has not returned.
152
00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:37,240
- That is because some
idiot put the smoke bomb
153
00:07:37,279 --> 00:07:38,720
down the wrong chimney.
154
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,800
Which one of you was
responsible?
155
00:07:40,839 --> 00:07:44,040
- I cannot say, but it was not
me.
156
00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:47,560
- It is I who am to blame.
157
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,519
I am the one who screwed it up.
158
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,279
- If only I could be with you,
Rene,
159
00:07:52,319 --> 00:07:54,600
now in your hour of peril.
160
00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:58,240
Let us all say a little prayer
for him.
161
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,639
Good luck, Rene.
162
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,399
- We're nearly there.
163
00:08:14,439 --> 00:08:16,560
- Two German guards.
164
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:17,600
- Oh heck!
165
00:08:18,519 --> 00:08:21,360
Behave like a German officer.
166
00:08:21,399 --> 00:08:24,000
- I have no trousers on.
167
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:28,519
- Bend your knees, your
coat will cover your boots.
168
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,279
Heil Hitler.
- Heil Hitler.
169
00:08:42,279 --> 00:08:44,919
More Germans outside the cafe.
170
00:08:45,799 --> 00:08:48,559
- Quick, into the back of this
lorry.
171
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,840
- Oh, good evening.
172
00:08:57,679 --> 00:08:59,399
We are, you are probably
wondering
173
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,440
why we are dressed as German
officers.
174
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,840
- All German officers dress
this way.
175
00:09:03,879 --> 00:09:05,320
You can drop the French accent.
176
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,919
It does not fool us for one
moment.
177
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,519
Put up your hands.
178
00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:11,200
- No, look, you, you, you,
you have got the wrong idea.
179
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:12,799
We are French.
- Yes.
180
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,320
- Just go into the little
cafe in there and ask.
181
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,559
- Cafe Rene?
182
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,200
We are the Communist Resistance.
183
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,799
We would not set foot in the
cafe of that collaborated dog
184
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,080
who entertains the Germans of
Renault.
185
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,320
- One day we will kill him
186
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,480
and hang his body from a
lamppost.
187
00:09:26,519 --> 00:09:30,000
Now do not waste our
time, what is your name?
188
00:09:30,039 --> 00:09:32,559
- Captain von Schmidthoffen.
189
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,039
- That is better.
190
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,240
- Oh, excuse me, please.
191
00:09:37,279 --> 00:09:40,240
Would you shoot also Rene's
pianist?
192
00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:41,799
- Of course.
193
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:42,840
- Oh, hm.
194
00:09:43,399 --> 00:09:47,240
Herman von Bickstein, at your
service.
195
00:09:47,279 --> 00:09:48,440
- Drive on.
196
00:09:50,879 --> 00:09:51,879
- Hey!
197
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:10,600
- In Rome is a wonderful
life of Arasollia.
198
00:10:10,639 --> 00:10:13,480
I walk down the street, from
every window,
199
00:10:13,519 --> 00:10:15,360
flowers, they fall at my feet.
200
00:10:15,399 --> 00:10:17,879
At every doorway, they drag me
inside
201
00:10:17,919 --> 00:10:22,279
for the hugs and the
kisses and the hanky-panky.
202
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,360
- This must make the girls very
jealous.
203
00:10:26,399 --> 00:10:29,840
- Ah, Colonel, oh, only time
you laugh,
204
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,559
you pull the leg, you tight the
mickey.
205
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:36,240
That's what I like about all
you Krauts.
206
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,240
- Colonel!
207
00:10:39,279 --> 00:10:40,840
Lieutenant Gruber wishes to see
you.
208
00:10:40,879 --> 00:10:42,240
- Send him in.
209
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,679
- Come in here!
210
00:10:47,759 --> 00:10:48,960
- Gruber!
211
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,159
Are you leaving?
212
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,639
- Colonel, I have serious news.
213
00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:55,720
- Don't tell me you just shot
your tailor.
214
00:10:55,759 --> 00:10:58,039
It's okay, he deserve it.
215
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,279
- I have not shot my tailor.
216
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,120
- Don't tell me the war is over.
217
00:11:03,159 --> 00:11:05,639
- My uniform was stolen last
night.
218
00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:07,559
- That's not too serious,
Gruber.
219
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,399
One can always buy another.
220
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:12,600
- Clarence is even now pressing
my spare.
221
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:15,799
But I have even more serious
news.
222
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:20,240
However, it is not for
the ears of an eye-tie.
223
00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:22,039
- I take the hint.
224
00:11:22,759 --> 00:11:24,080
I go.
225
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,960
I chat up with the beautiful
ladies.
226
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,519
I drive them mad.
227
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,399
- Also stolen from my
safe was the painting
228
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,000
of the Cracked Vase with
the Big Daisies by Van Gogh.
229
00:11:42,039 --> 00:11:44,799
- Never mind, the original
is here in my drawer.
230
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:47,679
- They have also stolen the
portrait of the Fallen Madonna
231
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,600
with the Big Boobies by van
Klump.
232
00:11:49,639 --> 00:11:52,639
- Fortunately, Gruber, the
original is in a sausage
233
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,080
in Rene's pantry.
234
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:55,919
None of this is very serious.
235
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,200
- Colonel, it appears
that Lieutenant Gruber,
236
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:02,720
in all our interest and not
trusting drawers or sausages,
237
00:12:02,759 --> 00:12:05,279
has retained the originals very
securely
238
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,440
in a safe in his bedroom.
239
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,080
- From which they have been
stolen.
240
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,655
- With all this deception, how
do I know
241
00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:14,240
that you are now telling the
truth?
242
00:12:14,279 --> 00:12:16,320
- Because if I do not
recover the originals
243
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,399
for General von Klinkoff,
then I will be sent
244
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,080
to the Russian front.
245
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,519
- Gruber, would I be right in
thinking
246
00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:24,879
that you've been double
crossing us for the General?
247
00:12:24,919 --> 00:12:28,799
- No, I had intended to
replace them with forgeries.
248
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,360
- Which you can still do.
249
00:12:30,399 --> 00:12:32,879
I have one forgery here,
Rene has the other.
250
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,200
- But we still don't have the
originals!
251
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,399
To sell after the war to share
between us!
252
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,840
- That's all very simple.
253
00:12:38,879 --> 00:12:42,080
One person can sort it
all out for us: Rene.
254
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,240
- Rene has disappeared.
255
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,000
- We have a problem.
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000, MPEGTS:0
256
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,519
- Rene, what are you looking at?
257
00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:58,159
- While they were strapping
you to this infernal machine,
258
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,440
I tucked the paintings
up behind the beams.
259
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,120
Can you see them from there?
260
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,279
- Oh, no.
261
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:07,919
- Good, let us hope that the
Communists
262
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,120
cannot see them either.
263
00:13:10,159 --> 00:13:13,200
- But what do you think they
are going to do to us, Rene?
264
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,200
- Well, they ain't Germans.
265
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,279
- Probably shoot us.
266
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,399
- If they find out that
I am Rene from the cafe,
267
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,320
they will also shoot us.
268
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:23,600
- We've got to out of here.
269
00:13:23,639 --> 00:13:25,320
Can you not wiggle out of your
bonds?
270
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,759
- I'm trying, I'm trying.
271
00:13:27,799 --> 00:13:28,919
But I have an idea.
272
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,120
What?
273
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:34,000
- If I think I can reach the
saw,
274
00:13:34,039 --> 00:13:36,000
if I can switch on the motor,
275
00:13:36,039 --> 00:13:40,279
maybe I can cut the bonds
that bind my wrist, eh?
276
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,200
- Good, but be careful
not to cut yourself.
277
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,399
- There is a red button
and a green butotn.
278
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,519
- Well, press the green button.
279
00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:53,559
- Green?
280
00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:01,639
You see, it works, it works!
- Good.
281
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:02,679
Go on.
282
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,440
- I cannot reach the blade.
283
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,399
- Well, press that red
button and switch it off
284
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,639
before anybody hears us.
285
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:19,879
- Switch it off, switch it off!
286
00:14:19,919 --> 00:14:24,399
- I'm trying, I'm losing
the feeling in my fingers!
287
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,600
- What do you think I
am going to be losing?
288
00:14:26,639 --> 00:14:28,200
Press the button!
289
00:14:29,519 --> 00:14:30,399
Press the button!
- I'm trying!
290
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,240
- Press the button!
291
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,000
Thank heaven.
292
00:14:39,039 --> 00:14:41,720
Now do not touch anything else.
293
00:14:44,639 --> 00:14:45,480
- Help!
294
00:14:45,519 --> 00:14:47,120
Help!
- Do not shout,
295
00:14:47,159 --> 00:14:48,200
switch it off!
296
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,120
Switch it off!
- Help!
297
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,200
- Please, please no,
switch it, the red button,
298
00:15:07,519 --> 00:15:08,519
- So.
299
00:15:09,519 --> 00:15:14,039
Rather than talk to me, you
are trying to commit suicide.
300
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,159
It will not work, my friend.
301
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:22,639
- Ten seconds later and
nothing would have worked.
302
00:15:27,679 --> 00:15:29,720
- You are one minute late,
Helga.
303
00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:30,759
What kept you?
304
00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:32,679
- There was a queue at the
chemist.
305
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,240
I had to kick several French
peasants quite severely
306
00:15:35,279 --> 00:15:38,200
so that they would let a lady
go first.
307
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,960
Here are your aspirins.
308
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,159
How is your head?
309
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,559
- It is very painful.
310
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,600
It was struck a glancing
blow by a coat hanger.
311
00:15:45,639 --> 00:15:48,200
Fortunately, one Smallhausen
took the full blast
312
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,679
of the explosion.
313
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,120
- I have spent several hours
with my Gestapo tweezers
314
00:15:55,159 --> 00:15:58,840
pulling small particles of
wardrobe from his anatomy.
315
00:15:58,879 --> 00:16:00,799
The sitting part.
316
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,600
- May I make you a cup of tea?
317
00:16:02,639 --> 00:16:04,600
- The kettle is already singing.
318
00:16:04,639 --> 00:16:08,159
Use the small pot with
the Swastika on the lid.
319
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,360
And while you are
performing this simple task,
320
00:16:10,399 --> 00:16:12,080
listen to what I say.
321
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,559
- Yes, Herr Flick.
322
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,720
- I have analyzed the situation.
323
00:16:15,759 --> 00:16:19,720
What was the
explosive doing in the wardrobe?
324
00:16:19,759 --> 00:16:22,120
It was hidden there in readiness
325
00:16:22,159 --> 00:16:24,480
for the blowing up of the
Fuhrer.
326
00:16:24,519 --> 00:16:26,679
Who hid it?
327
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:30,120
I have not the faintest idea.
328
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,279
But the finger of
suspicion points at Gruber.
329
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:38,200
You, Helga,
must get close to Gruber
330
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,080
and worm your way into his
confidence
331
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,600
by becoming his closest
companion.
332
00:16:42,639 --> 00:16:46,799
- But he is not very keen on
women of the opposite sex.
333
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,399
- You are talking to a man who
has just
334
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,559
been blown out of Gruber's
closet.
335
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,480
It is up to you to play your
part.
336
00:16:53,519 --> 00:16:55,600
- As you wish, Herr Flick.
337
00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:57,000
Indian or China?
338
00:16:57,039 --> 00:17:00,679
- I would prefer lap san soo
shong.
339
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,240
- Shut up.
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000, MPEGTS:0
340
00:17:06,519 --> 00:17:08,880
- What are you both crying
about?
341
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,160
- Poor Rene.
342
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,640
How can we carry on without him?
343
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:17,039
- His finger pressed that
very button to open the chair.
344
00:17:17,799 --> 00:17:21,200
- He wiped the bar with this
cloth.
345
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:25,240
- Shall I ever again
feel his arms around me?
346
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,200
- We should light a candle for
him.
347
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,000
- Oh, that is a lovely idea.
348
00:17:31,039 --> 00:17:33,799
But we cannot go to church
now, it is opening time.
349
00:17:33,839 --> 00:17:36,920
- There are some candles
here behind the ar.
350
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:41,440
- Let us each light one to
show how we remember him.
351
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:48,680
- I light this candle for Rene
to show how I remember him.
352
00:17:57,119 --> 00:18:01,640
- I light this candle for Rene
to show how I remember him.
353
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:19,160
- I light this candle for Rene
to show how I remember him.
354
00:18:20,759 --> 00:18:23,680
- How come you have such a big
one?
355
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,880
You have only been here three
weeks.
356
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,359
- I remember him very well.
357
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,720
- Here comes the Colonel.
358
00:18:34,559 --> 00:18:37,000
- Madam Edith, this is an
official visit.
359
00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:38,400
I must speak to Rene at once.
360
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,000
- But he is not here.
361
00:18:40,039 --> 00:18:41,039
You have captured him.
362
00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,200
- Oh, no we haven't.
363
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,599
- Oh, yes you have.
364
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,240
He went to the chateau to put
out a fire,
365
00:18:45,279 --> 00:18:46,799
he has not returned.
366
00:18:46,839 --> 00:18:48,759
- This is very serious.
367
00:18:48,799 --> 00:18:51,319
Coinciding with Rene's
visit to the chateau,
368
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:53,000
there are paintings missing.
369
00:18:53,039 --> 00:18:54,519
The original paintings.
370
00:18:54,559 --> 00:18:56,279
- Not the painting of the
Fallen Madonna
371
00:18:56,319 --> 00:18:57,559
with the Big Boobies?
372
00:18:57,599 --> 00:18:58,799
- The very same.
373
00:18:58,839 --> 00:19:00,599
- And the Cracked Vase
with the Big Daisies.
374
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,079
- It would appear he's
absconded with them.
375
00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:06,119
- But we were all to share in
the proceeds after the war.
376
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,960
- I think he has double crossed
you.
377
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,039
- The rat!
378
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,319
We will help you find him.
379
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:19,680
- Let us know the instant
you have any information.
380
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,440
- Good morning, Colonel.
381
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,039
- Good morning, Helga.
382
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:25,440
- Are you going to buy me a
drink,
383
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,839
you great big hunk of man?
384
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,599
- Are you talking to me?
385
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,359
- You have an elegant
and nonchalant manner
386
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,200
which I find most exciting.
387
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,799
- Oh?
388
00:19:39,839 --> 00:19:41,279
What are you having?
389
00:19:41,319 --> 00:19:42,759
- A small portent leman.
390
00:19:42,799 --> 00:19:44,559
- My favorite drink.
391
00:19:46,839 --> 00:19:48,200
- Do you have a light?
392
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,319
- Oh, um.
393
00:19:54,759 --> 00:19:55,759
Ah.
394
00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:58,759
My favorite brand.
395
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,880
- Let us sit down and see
what else we have in common.
396
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,039
- Well, uh.
397
00:20:06,559 --> 00:20:09,839
I like Berlin in June, how
about you?
398
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,920
- I like Mozart tune, how about
you?
399
00:20:15,759 --> 00:20:19,480
- I am mad about good
books, I cannot get my fill.
400
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,720
- And Adolf Hitler's looks?
401
00:20:21,759 --> 00:20:23,720
- They give me a chill.
402
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,640
- I must speak with you.
403
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,079
- In back room!
404
00:20:30,079 --> 00:20:31,759
Have you news of Rene?
405
00:20:31,799 --> 00:20:33,039
- Listen very carefully.
406
00:20:33,079 --> 00:20:34,759
I shall say this only once.
407
00:20:34,799 --> 00:20:37,680
Rene has been captured by
the Communist Resistance!
408
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:38,720
- No!
- Yes!
409
00:20:39,519 --> 00:20:41,279
They are led by Denise Laroque!
410
00:20:41,319 --> 00:20:42,759
- She is a fanatic!
411
00:20:42,799 --> 00:20:45,279
Her group is the most ruthless
in France!
412
00:20:45,319 --> 00:20:49,720
They hate everybody,
especially conservatives.
413
00:20:49,759 --> 00:20:52,119
- He was captured
wearing a German uniform,
414
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:53,640
escaping from the chateau.
415
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,000
They think he is a Nazi.
416
00:20:55,039 --> 00:20:57,640
- Can you not tell them that
he is Rene from the cafe?
417
00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:00,720
- Yes, but Rene from the
cafe is on their hit list
418
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,400
as a collaborator.
419
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,079
- Where are they holding him?
420
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:07,839
- They are hiding him in the
old sawmill east of Nouvion.
421
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,799
- We will storm the
sawmill and rescue him.
422
00:21:10,839 --> 00:21:15,279
- Yes, we will storm the
sawmill and rescue him.
423
00:21:15,319 --> 00:21:18,039
How shall we storm the sawmill?
424
00:21:18,079 --> 00:21:20,839
Outside is Gruber's little tank.
425
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,319
We will steal it.
426
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:25,079
If necessary, we will use the
big gun
427
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:27,440
and blow them to pieces.
428
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,359
- They are all Frenchmen.
429
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,079
- They are the wrong Frenchmen.
430
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:32,720
- It is a good plan.
431
00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:33,599
- Go quickly.
432
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,480
- Are you not coming with us?
433
00:21:35,519 --> 00:21:38,920
- I cannot, I have a dinner
party for the Roune Resistance.
434
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,440
The stew is in the oven.
435
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,359
- Right, follow me.
436
00:21:52,839 --> 00:21:54,160
- Hole Hotler!
437
00:21:58,839 --> 00:22:00,839
Do you not Hole Hotler?
438
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,200
- Me?
439
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,000
I am Italiano.
440
00:22:05,039 --> 00:22:07,759
Do you not see the cocktail
feathers.
441
00:22:07,799 --> 00:22:11,240
- Well, in that case, Hole
Missoluni.
442
00:22:21,519 --> 00:22:23,799
- Quick, no one is about.
443
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,279
- Quick, start up!
444
00:22:28,319 --> 00:22:29,920
- I cannot.
445
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:30,880
- Why not?
446
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,359
Have you lost your nerve?
447
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,599
- My feet will not reach the
pedals.
448
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:37,640
- Move over.
449
00:22:44,039 --> 00:22:45,039
- Helga,
450
00:22:45,599 --> 00:22:48,519
I think my engine is warming up.
451
00:22:51,599 --> 00:22:55,240
- It was my dearest wish
that this would happen.
452
00:22:55,279 --> 00:22:56,279
- My tank!
453
00:22:56,319 --> 00:22:57,720
My little tank!
454
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:01,279
- Right, I am ready!
455
00:23:03,039 --> 00:23:04,200
Hold tight!
456
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:22,039
- There obviously is
no piss for the wicked.
32718
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof