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1
00:00:27,359 --> 00:00:29,839
- I should be tucked up in a
nice warm bed
2
00:00:29,879 --> 00:00:32,119
in my cafe counting sheep.
3
00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:35,359
Instead, I am standing here
disguised as a mushroom picker
4
00:00:35,399 --> 00:00:38,679
counting cows going through
this gate.
5
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:44,439
I will tell you a secret: not
all of these cows are cows.
6
00:00:45,439 --> 00:00:49,679
One of them contains two
escaping British airmen.
7
00:00:51,079 --> 00:00:53,799
Can you detect which one?
8
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,239
Hold on
a minute, I lost my watch.
9
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,040
- Now that was not very
difficult, was it?
10
00:01:14,239 --> 00:01:15,599
- Come, we must hurry.
11
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,400
The plane will be here in four
minutes.
12
00:01:17,439 --> 00:01:21,359
We must get across the
road behind the cops.
13
00:01:27,439 --> 00:01:30,280
I hope
there aren't any bulls about.
14
00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:31,680
I shouldn't worry.
15
00:01:31,719 --> 00:01:33,096
The other cows have much more
interesting
16
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,599
backsides than yours.
17
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,799
- Awake, it is a German patrol.
18
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:41,079
- What?
19
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,640
- Get down. Hide behind the
hedge.
20
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:52,280
Have your guns at the ready.
21
00:01:59,159 --> 00:02:01,239
- What are you doing?
22
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,599
- I am a simple milk maid.
23
00:02:04,599 --> 00:02:06,560
I am taking these cows to the
meadow
24
00:02:06,599 --> 00:02:08,199
where they will eat the grass.
25
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,599
The green grass will make the
milk.
26
00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:12,199
The milk will make the butter.
27
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:16,120
And the butter we will spread
on the bread
28
00:02:16,159 --> 00:02:19,000
of the victorious German
soldier.
29
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:22,919
- We are about to die and he
starts a lecture on farming.
30
00:02:24,599 --> 00:02:26,695
- We are in need of some milk.
Cote, lend me your helmet.
31
00:02:26,719 --> 00:02:28,800
I will obtain some from these
cows.
32
00:02:30,159 --> 00:02:31,639
- But they have already been
milked.
33
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,919
- We need just a few
squirts for our coffee.
34
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,039
- Oh my God.
35
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,000
- This appears to be a quiet
one.
36
00:02:43,039 --> 00:02:44,455
- If they find out it is
washing up glove
37
00:02:44,479 --> 00:02:47,639
hanging down there, we have had
it.
38
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,319
- Unfortunately, it seems
to have very small titties.
39
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,879
- What are you doing?
40
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,800
Come away from that cow. You
are supposed to be on patrol.
41
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,800
- I am sorry, Sergeant.
42
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:18,240
- Put your helmet back on. Get
into line.
43
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,039
Quick march!
44
00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,120
That was a near thing.
45
00:03:36,159 --> 00:03:37,639
He actually got hold of it.
46
00:03:40,879 --> 00:03:45,400
- Oh my God. I was so scared I
have been eating a toadstool.
47
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,639
I will probably die.
48
00:03:50,639 --> 00:03:53,280
- Be quiet. I hear the plane.
49
00:03:53,319 --> 00:03:54,639
We must hurry.
50
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,560
It is a very big one.
51
00:04:10,599 --> 00:04:13,400
- I think it is a transport
plane.
52
00:04:13,439 --> 00:04:16,120
- René, how can that great big
plane
53
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,480
land in this little field?
54
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,399
- It is not landing. Look!
55
00:04:27,759 --> 00:04:31,560
They have released a parachutes.
56
00:04:37,759 --> 00:04:40,560
- They are going to drop
the other side of the wood.
57
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:41,600
Quick!
58
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,839
They must have landed somewhere
near here.
59
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,160
What are you doing?
60
00:04:55,199 --> 00:04:57,040
I'm going no further
61
00:04:57,079 --> 00:05:00,480
until someone tells me what's
going on.
62
00:05:01,879 --> 00:05:03,240
- I agree.
63
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:06,839
- Ah, I see something.
64
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:10,920
It is a copper.
65
00:05:10,959 --> 00:05:13,199
- I say, is anyone down there.
66
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:17,079
- Oh my God. Not another
stupid Englishman.
67
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,240
- I say, are you from HQ?
68
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,720
We rather thought the plane
would land.
69
00:05:23,759 --> 00:05:27,399
- Change of plan. We're trying
out a new escape package.
70
00:05:27,439 --> 00:05:29,199
- We'd better get you down, I
suppose.
71
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,560
- I seem to be a bit stuck.
72
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,240
- If René held me up in his
strong arms,
73
00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:37,160
I could reach up and pull him
down.
74
00:05:37,199 --> 00:05:39,639
- He could hold me in his
strong arms.
75
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,079
- Oh, but I might drop you,
precious.
76
00:05:47,199 --> 00:05:48,800
Come along. This way.
77
00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:50,360
Now, up you get.
78
00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:53,240
Oops.
79
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,120
- Quickly, Maria.
80
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,319
What's going on, Fairfax?
81
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:08,680
One of the barmaids
82
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,839
has pulled the policeman's
trousers down.
83
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,120
It's all go, isn't it?
84
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,360
The tree is giving.
85
00:06:15,399 --> 00:06:16,199
What?
86
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,319
What?
87
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,319
- I thought that was all rather
exciting.
88
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,439
- Why have they sent
us another Englishman?
89
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,920
- They sent me over
because I speak French.
90
00:06:36,959 --> 00:06:38,879
- Thank heavens for that.
91
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:42,040
They have sent him
because he speaks French.
92
00:06:42,079 --> 00:06:43,079
Oh!
93
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:44,759
- 'Allo, everybody.
94
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,199
- Ah, to hear our own tongue.
95
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,199
- I have brung groot-ings
96
00:06:56,879 --> 00:06:59,879
from British On-tell-i-gence
Head-quitters.
97
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:03,360
- What does he say?
98
00:07:03,399 --> 00:07:05,240
- I think he brings greetings
99
00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:08,040
from Intelligence Headquarters.
100
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:10,959
- I have dis-geezed as po-lows
man
101
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:16,519
so I am uh-ble to move ah-boot
with com-plate frow-dum.
102
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,560
- Do you think he will
get away with that accent?
103
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,759
- As long as he does not speak,
yes.
104
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,536
- We will tell everyone that he
comes
105
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:30,199
from a remote village in the
country.
106
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,000
- On the outskirts of Peking.
107
00:07:34,199 --> 00:07:35,680
- We picked up this package.
108
00:07:37,399 --> 00:07:40,600
- This is the eh-scope pook-age.
109
00:07:40,639 --> 00:07:43,639
You must heed it in your
see-lar.
110
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,279
- What was that?
111
00:07:46,319 --> 00:07:49,240
- The escape package. You
must hide it in the cellar.
112
00:07:49,279 --> 00:07:50,959
- How does he know I have a
cellar?
113
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:55,439
- In London, we are not stupid.
We know every move you moke.
114
00:07:56,079 --> 00:07:58,720
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000, MPEGTS:0
115
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,120
Who is it?
116
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,680
- It is I, Helga!
117
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,279
- Enter.
118
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,800
Was your mission successful?
119
00:08:16,839 --> 00:08:18,199
- Yes, Colonel.
120
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,279
- What mission was this?
121
00:08:19,319 --> 00:08:20,559
I know nothing about a mission.
122
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,360
- Hans, I don't tell you
everything.
123
00:08:23,399 --> 00:08:25,920
The less you know about
some things, the better.
124
00:08:25,959 --> 00:08:29,639
Now, come forward, and
stand in front of me.
125
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,600
I don't wish anyone to
see through the windows
126
00:08:32,639 --> 00:08:34,240
what we are up to.
127
00:08:36,919 --> 00:08:39,480
Now, show me what you've got.
128
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:44,559
Good. Perfect!
129
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:49,120
- Colonel, am I allowed
to see what Helga has got?
130
00:08:50,919 --> 00:08:53,840
- Helga has a normal knockwurst
131
00:08:53,879 --> 00:08:57,320
made by a butcher which we'll
be sending to the Fuhrer.
132
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,759
- It is very simple:
the priceless portrait
133
00:08:59,799 --> 00:09:01,216
of the fallen Madonna with the
big boobies
134
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,200
is concealed inside a knockwurst
135
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,159
which is hidden in René's
cellar.
136
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,960
The forged painting of the
fallen Madonna
137
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,015
with the big boobies is
concealed
138
00:09:08,039 --> 00:09:09,360
inside a similar knockwurst
139
00:09:09,399 --> 00:09:11,440
which is hanging in René's
kitchen.
140
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,600
The knockwurst concealed on my
person
141
00:09:13,639 --> 00:09:16,399
is to be sent to Herr Hitler,
who is under the impression
142
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,200
that it contains the original
painting
143
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,120
of the fallen Madonna
with the big boobies.
144
00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:21,720
- Which is in the cellar.
145
00:09:21,759 --> 00:09:24,120
- Which Herr Flick of the
Gestapo thinks is in the
kitchen.
146
00:09:24,159 --> 00:09:25,799
- I only asked if I could have
a look.
147
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,440
- Who is it?
148
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:34,240
- It is only me, dear
Colonel, René from the cafe.
149
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,279
- Come inside!
150
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,679
- We have good news, René.
151
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,799
Helga has a normal knockwurst
to put
152
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,919
on the train to Berlin for the
Fuhrer.
153
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,440
Helga, show him.
154
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,559
- Thank you.
155
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,559
- I missed it again.
156
00:09:58,519 --> 00:10:00,759
- Colonel, I have bad news.
157
00:10:00,799 --> 00:10:03,480
The resistance, who I
do not know very well,
158
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:06,000
have refused to blow up the
train.
159
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,159
- This is the train
containing this knockwurst.
160
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,080
It must be blown up so that
Hitler thinks
161
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,400
the painting has been destroyed.
162
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,960
- I know that bit.
163
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,895
- Why did they refuse
to blow up the train?
164
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:18,360
- Well, they say they have
a previous engagement.
165
00:10:18,399 --> 00:10:21,240
Something to do with an
ammunition lorry or something.
166
00:10:21,279 --> 00:10:23,519
- Did you explain to them
how important this is.
167
00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:25,200
- Oh, yes, of course, dear
Colonel,
168
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,840
but they do not take all
that much notice of me.
169
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:32,600
We barely nod to each other
in the street, you understand.
170
00:10:32,639 --> 00:10:36,440
I could try the communist
resistance.
171
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,399
They might do it for money.
172
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,200
Party funds are very low, I
have heard.
173
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,000
- Very well.
174
00:10:43,039 --> 00:10:46,519
Go back to your cafe and
see what you can do for us.
175
00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:48,600
- Could you let me have
a few thousand francs
176
00:10:48,639 --> 00:10:51,559
to put a deposit down,
just to show good faith?
177
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,080
- Certainly not. You pay them,
and we'll make it up to you.
178
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:56,600
- Yes, Colonel.
179
00:10:56,639 --> 00:10:58,759
- Make sure you get a receipt.
180
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,240
- No, no, no, no, no,
I do not wish to go in.
181
00:11:03,279 --> 00:11:06,000
Please put me by the table
there.
182
00:11:06,039 --> 00:11:08,759
- Here, my little love.
183
00:11:08,799 --> 00:11:11,159
- And bring me a drink.
184
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,879
- But Fanny, will you not be
too chilly?
185
00:11:14,919 --> 00:11:18,200
- No, no, no, not if I
have a big gin and tonic.
186
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:23,600
- My love, my flower, I will
buy for you
187
00:11:23,639 --> 00:11:28,440
the whole world whether I,
I do not have any money.
188
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,399
- Oh, but now this is my
daughter's cafe
189
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,799
we can have freebies.
190
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:34,840
- Free?
191
00:11:36,039 --> 00:11:37,399
- How much?
192
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:41,320
Now look here, it is
just one little train.
193
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:47,240
Well, surely you could blow it
up for a bit less than that.
194
00:11:47,279 --> 00:11:49,919
Is that your rock bottom price?
195
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,080
Well, hang on a minute.
196
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,519
No, no I cannot go to that, no.
197
00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:05,240
How would it be if we
supplied the explosives?
198
00:12:05,279 --> 00:12:07,240
No, I do not want to leave my
name.
199
00:12:07,279 --> 00:12:08,319
No, it is just an inquiry.
200
00:12:10,039 --> 00:12:13,200
Hey, who do you think you are?
201
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,360
- It is I, LeClerc!
202
00:12:15,399 --> 00:12:17,200
- I know that.
203
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,440
What are you doing helping
yourself to my gin?
204
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:23,639
- It is my gin, for my
mama. Give her a double.
205
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,799
- Lieutenant Gruber, you have
again parked
206
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,639
your armored car in my
place under the tree.
207
00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:33,399
- Oh, I am most sorry, Colonel.
208
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,600
I have just polished it
and it looked like rain.
209
00:12:36,639 --> 00:12:37,840
I will move it.
210
00:12:37,879 --> 00:12:39,375
- No, we should only
be here a few minutes.
211
00:12:39,399 --> 00:12:41,440
But don't do it again!
212
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,919
- Heil Hitler?
213
00:12:46,039 --> 00:12:47,679
- Don't try to get around me.
214
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,720
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000, MPEGTS:0
215
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,399
René, the normal knockwurst is
on the night train to Berlin.
216
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,799
- No.
217
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:57,216
- Helga put it on. It is
next to the ammunition truck.
218
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:58,495
Herr Flick supervised her, and
then
219
00:12:58,519 --> 00:13:00,000
he sent a telegram to Hitler.
220
00:13:00,039 --> 00:13:01,200
- Signed by the Colonel.
221
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:02,639
- Good news, eh?
222
00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:05,519
- No, unfortunately
Colonel, I have bad news.
223
00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,399
The communists have refused
to blow up the train.
224
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,000
- Refused to blow up the train?
225
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,799
What sort of communists
are you dealing with?
226
00:13:12,919 --> 00:13:13,976
- Who ever heard of a communist
227
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,799
who wouldn't blow up a train?
228
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,200
- That means Hitler will
receive a normal knockwurst.
229
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,000
- And a telegram from the
Colonel.
230
00:13:21,039 --> 00:13:24,039
- And he will find out that
you have nicked his painting.
231
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,360
- Can not get back a knockwurst.
232
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,216
- That will put kaput on my
career. Give me a large Cognac.
233
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:31,600
- Oh, yes.
234
00:13:31,639 --> 00:13:33,679
- Colonel, anticipating this
development,
235
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:37,000
I have a further plan
which may yet save us.
236
00:13:37,039 --> 00:13:38,000
- You have?
237
00:13:38,039 --> 00:13:40,240
Give her a cognac as well.
238
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,399
Tell us your plan.
239
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,679
- But tell it a bit slower than
last time.
240
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:57,559
- A 20 millimeter incendiary
shell,
241
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,879
accurately fired at the
ammunition truck,
242
00:13:59,919 --> 00:14:03,039
would blow it up and also
demolish the knockwurst.
243
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,720
The resistance will be blamed,
we arrest a few peasants
244
00:14:05,759 --> 00:14:08,600
and shoot them, and we
will all be in the clear.
245
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,200
- That's all very well, Helga,
246
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,080
but where do we get a
20 millimeter cannon?
247
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,559
And who's gonna fire it?
248
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,000
- Lieutenant Gruber has an
armored car
249
00:14:17,039 --> 00:14:21,039
on which is mounted a
20 millimeter cannon.
250
00:14:24,039 --> 00:14:25,679
- Hello.
251
00:14:26,919 --> 00:14:29,600
- He'll never lend it. He's
very stingy.
252
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,600
He might lend it to René.
He's very fond of him.
253
00:14:34,639 --> 00:14:37,600
- Oh yes, I can just see that.
254
00:14:37,639 --> 00:14:40,399
Good evening, Lieutenant
Gruber. A small sherry?
255
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:41,799
Oh, with pleasure.
256
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,840
By the way, Lieutenant, I
wonder if I might borrow
257
00:14:44,879 --> 00:14:47,399
your armored car for the
evening.
258
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,639
No, no, no, there is no need
for you to come with me.
259
00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:52,200
I just wish to drive
it around a little bit,
260
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,519
see if I can pull a few birds
or maybe
261
00:14:55,559 --> 00:14:58,720
shoot a pigeon or two with
a 20 millimeter shell.
262
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,639
- No, René is right.
263
00:15:01,679 --> 00:15:04,399
We'll have to knock it
off when he's not looking.
264
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:05,976
- And he will blame it on the
resistance.
265
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,240
- And we can just shoot
another couple of peasants.
266
00:15:08,279 --> 00:15:09,456
- If you go on at this rate,
there will be
267
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,600
nobody left in the village.
268
00:15:11,679 --> 00:15:13,039
- Very good plan, Helga.
269
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,799
- It's the only plan we've got.
270
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:18,039
- As soon as it is dark, we
will act.
271
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,120
Are you with us, René?
272
00:15:20,159 --> 00:15:22,440
- Well alright, Colonel.
273
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,320
I will keep Lieutenant Gruber
talking
274
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,159
while you nip off, nick the
armored car,
275
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,480
and blow up the train.
276
00:15:27,519 --> 00:15:29,639
- No, René, I as a colonel
cannot
277
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:33,200
get involved in a plan like
this.
278
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:37,159
I will distract Gruber, and
you, Hans,
279
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,519
you will nick the armored car.
280
00:15:39,559 --> 00:15:43,000
- But, Colonel, I'm a very bad
driver.
281
00:15:43,039 --> 00:15:44,919
I only have a provisional
license.
282
00:15:46,799 --> 00:15:48,720
It is very hard to see
out of those things.
283
00:15:48,759 --> 00:15:52,519
My glasses will steam up. I
will get lost.
284
00:15:52,559 --> 00:15:54,519
René can sit on top, stick his
head
285
00:15:54,559 --> 00:15:56,480
through the hole, and guide you.
286
00:15:56,519 --> 00:15:57,855
- Oh, but Colonel, would it not
be better
287
00:15:57,879 --> 00:15:59,759
if Helga drove, and the Captain
could
288
00:15:59,799 --> 00:16:01,375
sit on top and stick his
head out and guide her?
289
00:16:01,399 --> 00:16:03,799
- I have an assignation with
Herr Flick.
290
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,200
Well, can you not break it?
291
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,320
- One does not stand up the
Gestapo.
292
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:08,799
- What time's the train?
293
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,039
- 10 o'clock.
294
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:13,639
- Very well, we all meet here
at 9:30.
295
00:16:13,679 --> 00:16:16,840
I will take care of Gruber.
You all take care of the train.
296
00:16:16,879 --> 00:16:18,120
- Oh, but...
297
00:16:18,159 --> 00:16:19,679
- Goodnight, René. Goodnight,
Colonel.
298
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,120
- You're not going?
299
00:16:21,159 --> 00:16:22,519
- Not in your armored car?
300
00:16:22,559 --> 00:16:25,720
- Yes, I think I will have an
early night.
301
00:16:25,759 --> 00:16:27,159
- Nonsense.
302
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:32,159
I hope you're not going
because I was cross with you.
303
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,960
- Well, I was a bit upset.
304
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:39,559
- Don't be upset, Gruber.
What's your first name?
305
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:40,600
- Hubert.
306
00:16:41,639 --> 00:16:45,120
- Don't be upset, Hubert. I
like you.
307
00:16:45,159 --> 00:16:46,600
Hans likes you.
308
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,799
- René likes you.
309
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,440
- And the girls, they like you,
too.
310
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,399
- I tell you what, come
'round here about 9:30
311
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,200
and we'll have dinner together.
312
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,000
- And bring your armored car.
313
00:16:59,039 --> 00:17:01,600
- Suddenly, I'm feeling better.
314
00:17:01,639 --> 00:17:04,680
- Suddenly, I am feeling worse.
315
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,000
Can I help you, officer?
316
00:17:07,039 --> 00:17:10,519
- An old dearly load-y
outside in a beth chair
317
00:17:10,559 --> 00:17:12,279
has been heet-ing the boo-tul.
318
00:17:17,039 --> 00:17:18,400
- What?
319
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,559
- Her is drunk. Her is puss-ed
as a newt.
320
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,519
- Oh my God!
321
00:17:24,559 --> 00:17:26,000
- Bosch!
322
00:17:26,039 --> 00:17:27,599
Fanny, no, no, no.
323
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:31,279
- You shall not enter
the cafe of my daughter.
324
00:17:31,319 --> 00:17:34,240
- Fanny, Fanny please, my
love, do not take on so.
325
00:17:34,279 --> 00:17:36,200
We'll all finish up in the
clear.
326
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,519
- Stop it, stop it you silly
old bat!
327
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,200
These are my customers. Are
you trying ruin my business?
328
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:46,000
- It is my daughter's business.
You are on the way out.
329
00:17:46,039 --> 00:17:47,559
- Get her inside, please.
330
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:49,839
Welcome, gentlemen, your table
is ready.
331
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,200
Stop that.
332
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,119
Gentlemen, please, come back
gentlemen!
333
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,880
She is putty in the head.
334
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,960
I have your window table for
you, please.
335
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,599
- Don't worry, René.
Hubert and I will take it.
336
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,039
Won't we, Hubert?
337
00:18:03,799 --> 00:18:07,119
- You are most kind, Colonel.
Can I give anyone a lift?
338
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:11,000
- Oh, give Hans a lift. Let
him play with your cannon.
339
00:18:11,039 --> 00:18:12,599
- Come along, then, Captain.
340
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:17,240
I will show you what fun
an armored car can be.
341
00:18:17,279 --> 00:18:20,319
9:30, René. Water the wine.
342
00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:21,960
And take the flowers off the
table.
343
00:18:32,759 --> 00:18:36,920
- 10 minutes is up. You may
now come out of the corner.
344
00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:42,119
- Yes, Herr Flick.
345
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,640
- Let that be a lesson to you.
346
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:50,359
Never again will you burn my
toast.
347
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,200
- Yes, Herr Flick. May I sit?
348
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:56,279
- Yes.
349
00:18:58,279 --> 00:19:00,559
You may continue with your tea.
350
00:19:00,599 --> 00:19:03,720
I have kept your egg warm under
the cozy.
351
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,920
- You have a very kind
streak in your nature.
352
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,200
- I nearly failed my
Gestapo exams because of it.
353
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,119
- This is a fairly strong shell.
354
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:21,000
- Hit it hard with your spoon.
They always break in the end.
355
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,400
- You're looking pensive, Herr
Flick.
356
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,960
- I'm trying to decide what
to do with you tonight.
357
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,200
- I see, Herr Flick.
358
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,680
- I might take you to the
movies.
359
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:34,920
- What is showing?
360
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,920
- Anything we like.
361
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,200
Or we could stay here and amuse
ourselves.
362
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:46,720
I have a box of sharp needles
somewhere. Ah, here they are.
363
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,720
- What have you in mind, Herr
Flick.
364
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:55,279
- I have an excellent
gramophone,
365
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:58,359
and many records of Hitler's
speeches.
366
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,519
They are quite amusing.
367
00:20:01,279 --> 00:20:04,319
- Hitler's speeches quite
amusing?
368
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:05,880
- Played at double speed...
369
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:09,920
- He sounds like Donald Duck.
370
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:17,519
♪ Just see what the boys
in the backroom will have
371
00:20:17,559 --> 00:20:22,480
♪ And tell them I sighed,
and tell them I cried
372
00:20:22,519 --> 00:20:27,039
♪ And tell them I died of the
same
373
00:20:32,079 --> 00:20:33,439
- Thank you for your kind
applause.
374
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,880
And now, please, will you
show your appreciation
375
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:40,000
for our pianist Monsieur
LeClerc.
376
00:20:42,279 --> 00:20:43,399
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000, MPEGTS:0
377
00:20:43,759 --> 00:20:47,160
- Colonel, the Lieutenant is
here.
378
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,759
Colonel. Colonel!
379
00:20:51,759 --> 00:20:54,279
- I'm sorry, René. The cheese,
you know.
380
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:55,720
- Uh huh. Look.
381
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,160
- I will take care of him.
You and Hans know what to do?
382
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,000
- I am sorry I am late, Colonel.
383
00:21:03,039 --> 00:21:05,119
- Perhaps your armored
car would not start,
384
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:06,839
you had to leave it at the
barracks?
385
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,359
- She started on the button.
386
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,160
But she was nearly out of
gasoline.
387
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,079
- Good.
388
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:12,119
- So I filled her up.
389
00:21:13,599 --> 00:21:15,200
That's our table over there.
390
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,640
- Oh, how cozy.
391
00:21:18,599 --> 00:21:19,640
- Take this.
392
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,359
René, Hans, you know what to do.
393
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,720
Good luck to you.
394
00:21:25,759 --> 00:21:27,880
- Colonel, he has just taken
the flowers
395
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,759
from the next table.
396
00:21:29,799 --> 00:21:31,319
Good luck to you.
397
00:21:34,759 --> 00:21:35,759
Captain!
398
00:21:36,759 --> 00:21:38,920
- Dear Colonel, would you
prefer your back
399
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,400
to the wall, or the room?
400
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:42,799
- I think the wall.
401
00:21:45,799 --> 00:21:49,839
Sit down, Hubert, and tell
me all about yourself.
402
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,839
- Well, it has been a hard day.
403
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:55,799
I am quite hoarse, you know,
from ordering soldiers about.
404
00:21:55,839 --> 00:21:58,519
- Yes, it's hard being a German
officer.
405
00:21:58,559 --> 00:22:01,279
All that shouting and stamping
of feet.
406
00:22:01,319 --> 00:22:03,319
People don't understand, do
they?
407
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:04,799
- I fear they do not.
408
00:22:10,319 --> 00:22:12,200
- Do we have a key or a tin
opener?
409
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,599
- The door's not locked.
410
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,799
After all, who would nick an
armored car?
411
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,079
Wear this.
412
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:24,519
- What for?
413
00:22:24,559 --> 00:22:25,856
- If the resistance
take a pot shot at you,
414
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,880
it will bounce off.
415
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,319
- Bounce off?
416
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:33,240
I am not sticking my head
out of there. I'll drive.
417
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,079
- Start the engine!
418
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:50,799
- Keep your voice down.
419
00:22:50,839 --> 00:22:51,920
- Sorry.
420
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:58,000
It's just that little knob in
front.
421
00:22:59,279 --> 00:23:01,799
Give it a bit more choke.
422
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:06,039
- Forward!
423
00:23:09,319 --> 00:23:12,640
I said forward, you're going
backward.
424
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,000
- Did I hit something?
425
00:23:16,039 --> 00:23:19,559
The Colonel's car.
426
00:23:23,799 --> 00:23:25,440
- Nevermind.
427
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,960
He will blame the resistance
and shoot a couple of peasants.
428
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,839
What am I saying?
429
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,759
How easy it is to slip into
the ways of being a Nazi.
430
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:43,200
- Good evening Colonel. Was
everything to your satisfaction?
431
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,839
- Up to a point. You know me,
Yvette.
432
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:52,440
- Oh, Colonel. Would you like
me to sit upon your knee?
433
00:23:53,279 --> 00:23:57,000
- That sounds like a bit
of fun. Doesn't it, Hubert?
434
00:23:57,039 --> 00:23:59,160
- If you say so, Colonel.
435
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,920
- Shall I rest on your
knee, Lieutenant Gruber?
436
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,279
- Ah, well...
437
00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:06,640
- Go on, Hubert. You're in the
tank core.
438
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:11,039
It'll be good for your image.
439
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:16,640
- Are the driv-air of
armored ker 4219 on the cafe?
440
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,240
- 4219, that is my armored car.
441
00:24:20,279 --> 00:24:23,759
- It has been drov-en a-wah by
two min.
442
00:24:23,799 --> 00:24:24,799
- You fool!
443
00:24:25,519 --> 00:24:27,079
- Armored cars stolen?
444
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:28,599
- Don't worry about it, Hubert.
445
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,599
It's probably some local
boys playing a little prank.
446
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,119
- I must report it at
once to my headquarters.
447
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,599
- Just think how cross they
will be when they find out
448
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:38,799
you've lost your armored car.
449
00:24:38,839 --> 00:24:41,359
Believe me, it'll come
back if you're patient.
450
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,119
- But what if it does not?
451
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,880
What am I doing holding this
girl?
452
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,599
I know, I will report it at once
453
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,759
to Herr Flick of the Gestapo.
454
00:24:50,799 --> 00:24:55,279
We will make discrete
inquiries. He owes me a favor.
455
00:25:02,839 --> 00:25:04,920
- Why have we left the main
road?
456
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,559
- A motorcycle was following us.
457
00:25:07,599 --> 00:25:12,039
Don't worry. This land
leads to the railway line.
458
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:14,839
Is he still following?
459
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,240
- Just a minute. I will have a
look.
460
00:25:19,039 --> 00:25:21,000
Ooh.
461
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,039
- Can you see the motorcycle?
462
00:25:25,839 --> 00:25:27,599
- Not at the moment.
463
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:48,200
- Stop the machine.
464
00:25:52,599 --> 00:25:56,799
Flick the Gestapo. No, I
said Flick the Gestapo.
465
00:26:01,279 --> 00:26:03,519
Yes, Gruber. Yes, Gruber.
466
00:26:08,599 --> 00:26:09,640
Yes, Gruber.
467
00:26:10,839 --> 00:26:12,440
You are very careless!
468
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:16,160
Stay where you are. I will come
at once.
469
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,240
You will come with me.
470
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,720
Hold my Schmeisser while I
remove my carpet slippers.
471
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:36,359
- I can see the railway line.
Stop here.
472
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,319
- I can hear the train coming.
473
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:48,480
- Oh dear, pass me a shell.
474
00:26:48,519 --> 00:26:50,279
- Well where are they?
475
00:26:50,319 --> 00:26:52,839
- They must be in here
somewhere.
Try the glove compartment.
476
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,000
Have you found anything?
477
00:26:58,039 --> 00:27:02,079
- Just some ladies' underwear,
and some shaving lotion.
478
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:04,480
- Ah, I have one.
479
00:27:04,519 --> 00:27:06,759
- Good. Well, hurry up.
480
00:27:06,799 --> 00:27:07,839
It is getting nearer.
481
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,279
- I think it just loaded.
482
00:27:09,319 --> 00:27:12,240
I have to aim for the
third wagon from the end.
483
00:27:12,279 --> 00:27:13,799
- Yes, good luck.
484
00:27:13,839 --> 00:27:18,400
- Put two fingers in your
ears. There may be a big bang.
485
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,799
I can see it. One, two, three.
486
00:27:21,839 --> 00:27:23,000
That's the one.
487
00:27:30,599 --> 00:27:31,599
Missed!
488
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,359
Quick, another shell.
489
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:38,200
Can you get a little bit nearer?
490
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,599
- No I cannot.
491
00:27:40,319 --> 00:27:42,119
- One, two, three.
492
00:27:48,559 --> 00:27:50,680
- You have blown up the signal
box!
493
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:54,440
- Those things are barely spent.
494
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,279
- There goes the train.
495
00:27:56,319 --> 00:27:58,640
- There goes Hitler's sausage.
496
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,000
We should catch it up
further down the line.
497
00:28:01,039 --> 00:28:04,440
- No, the way I drive
I would never catch it.
498
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,799
And the way you shoot,
you would never hit it.
499
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,400
I think we go home.
36610
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