Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:58,002 --> 00:01:02,889
"Fuego Del Culo" Girl, if it itches, it's class.
2
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Hey girl, want some brown liquor?
3
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Brown liquor don't make this pussy bad.
4
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Tequila it is.
5
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Need that?
6
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No.
7
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Viva la revolution!
8
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That's that shit right there, make your pussy pop with it.
9
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Yes, ma'am.
10
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So what are you doing here anyway?
11
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What do you think I'm doing here?
12
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I'm starting an opening season.
13
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Been there, done that.
14
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Pick up the phone!
15
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Pick up the phone!
16
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Richie?
17
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Tiana, hey.
18
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I thought it'd be easier for the audience if we didn't have to make more texts.
19
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Yeah, that makes sense.
20
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Because you know these motherfuckers can't read.
21
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I know.
22
00:01:53,382 --> 00:01:54,803
Who goes to see your ways, brothers-in-law?
23
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Well, it's nice to phone meet you in this super awkward way.
24
00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:01,133
Likewise, but I gotta be honest.
25
00:02:01,293 --> 00:02:04,998
When I seen your profile, I made a bitch almost white laugh because you look mad goofy.
26
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,624
But surprisingly, you know, goofy niggas got big dicks.
27
00:02:08,825 --> 00:02:09,827
So, here we are.
28
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I take you for a Jersey girl.
29
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A Jersey girl?
30
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Listen, I love Jersey, yeah.
31
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But I'm a Harlem girl.
32
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Born and motherfucking raised.
33
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Real niggas own.
34
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Yeah.
35
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Oh, so you're black.
36
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No, motherfucker.
37
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I'm black.
38
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All cats.
39
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No cats.
40
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But cats.
41
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Fuck all y'all.
42
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Bitch, spit them pearls back out.
43
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Like, what's your shit?
44
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Hello?
45
00:02:39,871 --> 00:02:40,550
So, tell me.
46
00:02:40,811 --> 00:02:42,313
What's your favorite scary movie?
47
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I don't really do them.
48
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You know, all the super tropes and shit.
49
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:48,341
Why is it always the white bitch at the end?
50
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,226
Because they know it's too hard to kill a sister.
51
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You know what I'm saying?
52
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Because if the sister can survive government cheese, we can survive anything.
53
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You know, it might help if you met me outside.
54
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Met you outside?
55
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Boy, you're just neat neat.
56
00:03:01,702 --> 00:03:02,283
What's your sign?
57
00:03:02,343 --> 00:03:03,304
Must be a Scorpio.
58
00:03:03,704 --> 00:03:04,364
How'd you know?
59
00:03:04,788 --> 00:03:05,488
Good dick, though.
60
00:03:05,749 --> 00:03:06,710
But toxic as hell.
61
00:03:07,050 --> 00:03:08,671
Hey, is the restaurant here at Allen?
62
00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:09,412
Yes, sir.
63
00:03:09,472 --> 00:03:10,797
You put it above your ass.
64
00:03:11,617 --> 00:03:12,117
We're all there?
65
00:03:12,217 --> 00:03:13,259
Nah, not today.
66
00:03:13,399 --> 00:03:14,240
Shoot, bitch.
67
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:14,842
Heard you all.
68
00:03:15,183 --> 00:03:15,583
Okay.
69
00:03:15,864 --> 00:03:17,084
I'm coming down to Allen now.
70
00:03:17,986 --> 00:03:18,306
I'm here.
71
00:03:18,367 --> 00:03:18,946
Can you see me?
72
00:03:18,946 --> 00:03:19,727
I'm waving.
73
00:03:20,570 --> 00:03:21,012
No.
74
00:03:22,172 --> 00:03:23,853
The person I'm looking at's not waving.
75
00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:26,358
In fact, they're just staring at me.
76
00:03:26,598 --> 00:03:27,921
Well, stare at his ass back.
77
00:03:28,622 --> 00:03:29,362
And don't blink.
78
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Never blink.
79
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You got to scratch the lips if you're gonna blink.
80
00:03:32,207 --> 00:03:33,849
Oh, they're walking towards me now.
81
00:03:34,789 --> 00:03:35,973
Oh my, oh no, they haven't even died.
82
00:03:36,513 --> 00:03:37,755
Why don't I meet his ass over here?
83
00:03:38,516 --> 00:03:39,697
I thought that's not the worst part.
84
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:48,751
The worst part is, you know so much about horror movies, and yet you still walk into the alley alone.
85
00:03:49,752 --> 00:03:53,258
Yeah, but the worst part is, you fucking with a New York bitch.
86
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Cuckoo!
87
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Yeah!
88
00:03:56,383 --> 00:03:57,003
Cuckoo!
89
00:03:58,446 --> 00:03:59,147
Cuckoo!
90
00:04:01,150 --> 00:04:01,691
Cuckoo!
91
00:04:07,098 --> 00:04:13,688
Damn, he's on some Avenger shit.
92
00:04:27,387 --> 00:04:27,829
Cuckoo!
93
00:04:27,829 --> 00:04:28,189
Seriously, Larry?
94
00:04:28,349 --> 00:04:29,311
I didn't recognize you, Bert.
95
00:04:29,431 --> 00:04:30,952
I thought you was my warlock.
96
00:04:31,675 --> 00:04:32,776
That's a pigeon, nigger.
97
00:04:33,336 --> 00:04:34,318
It's supposed to be, cuckoo!
98
00:04:35,038 --> 00:04:35,479
Cuckoo!
99
00:04:35,659 --> 00:04:37,123
A hawk supernatural attack.
100
00:04:38,564 --> 00:04:38,985
My bad.
101
00:04:39,666 --> 00:04:40,406
Are you done?
102
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:43,630
What the hell?
103
00:04:45,974 --> 00:04:47,318
Bitch, I'm Teyana Taylor.
104
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My abs got ass.
105
00:04:48,578 --> 00:04:49,881
Get him!
106
00:04:50,761 --> 00:04:51,262
Help!
107
00:04:53,266 --> 00:04:56,009
Come on guys, we can work this out!
108
00:04:59,835 --> 00:05:01,679
Somebody help me!
109
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,062
No, no, no!
110
00:05:10,690 --> 00:05:12,995
Now, get your rotten ass up!
111
00:05:13,877 --> 00:05:14,618
Motherfucker!
112
00:05:14,658 --> 00:05:15,218
Motherfucker!
113
00:05:15,838 --> 00:05:20,805
Hey Tiana, you might have kicked my ass, but you still didn't win that Oscar.
114
00:05:21,407 --> 00:05:23,031
What did you say about my Oscar?
115
00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:24,652
Did I stutter?
116
00:05:25,112 --> 00:05:26,153
You lost.
117
00:05:26,454 --> 00:05:29,459
You're right, but I won that Golden Globe, bitch.
118
00:05:30,601 --> 00:05:31,781
Oh my god, really?
119
00:05:32,385 --> 00:05:33,785
So that's why I never watched horror movies.
120
00:05:34,006 --> 00:05:34,927
It's fucking terrible.
121
00:05:35,408 --> 00:05:37,892
Just a bunch of celebrity cameos and fart gags.
122
00:05:38,893 --> 00:05:40,475
So, you don't like parodies?
123
00:05:40,796 --> 00:05:42,219
I'm more into Judd Apatow films.
124
00:05:42,219 --> 00:05:44,421
You know, elevated comedy.
125
00:05:45,282 --> 00:05:47,326
And what is elevated comedy?
126
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:51,851
The kind that doesn't actually make anyone laugh but makes white people feel smart.
127
00:05:53,935 --> 00:05:54,456
Tuesday?
128
00:05:54,696 --> 00:05:55,317
Don't answer that.
129
00:05:55,778 --> 00:05:56,658
Could be Ghostface.
130
00:05:57,218 --> 00:05:58,643
Oh, come on, Elle.
131
00:05:59,123 --> 00:06:00,665
Stuff like that only happens in the movies.
132
00:06:03,790 --> 00:06:05,071
Oh, hey.
133
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,353
I wasn't expecting you to answer the door.
134
00:06:07,796 --> 00:06:08,558
What the fuck?
135
00:06:08,558 --> 00:06:10,620
Now, here's my life.
136
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:11,860
Oh, here it is.
137
00:06:12,724 --> 00:06:14,986
Hello, Tuesday.
138
00:06:41,445 --> 00:06:42,144
Hey, miss.
139
00:06:43,809 --> 00:06:44,609
What'd you take?
140
00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:46,672
Just Ritalin for my ADHD.
141
00:06:47,292 --> 00:06:48,577
Adderall for PTSD.
142
00:06:48,856 --> 00:06:50,518
Couple of Banix for my anxiety.
143
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,120
Batch of voter pills.
144
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,365
Book of luck getting an SL.
145
00:06:56,868 --> 00:06:57,948
Jesus, Sarah!
146
00:06:58,009 --> 00:06:59,172
How many did you take?
147
00:06:59,312 --> 00:06:59,932
I don't know.
148
00:07:00,012 --> 00:07:01,074
How many come in a bottle?
149
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:03,779
Hey, Jeff.
150
00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:06,021
Sarah, Tuesday's in the hospital.
151
00:07:06,402 --> 00:07:08,023
She was stabbed by a killer.
152
00:07:08,023 --> 00:07:09,347
You know, Ghostface.
153
00:07:09,788 --> 00:07:10,908
Wait, from Rutan?
154
00:07:11,590 --> 00:07:15,916
Why would Ghostface kill her, a.k.a. Pretty Tony, a.k.a. Starkey Love, and stab my sister?
155
00:07:16,296 --> 00:07:18,419
God, Sarah, it wasn't Ghostface kill her.
156
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:20,142
It was somebody in a Ghostface mask.
157
00:07:20,362 --> 00:07:20,783
Oh.
158
00:07:21,424 --> 00:07:23,005
Okay, that makes more sense.
159
00:07:24,049 --> 00:07:24,349
Ah!
160
00:07:25,409 --> 00:07:25,931
Ah!
161
00:07:26,130 --> 00:07:26,391
Ah!
162
00:07:27,312 --> 00:07:27,832
Ah!
163
00:07:28,976 --> 00:07:30,396
I ain't the one!
164
00:07:31,839 --> 00:07:32,360
Ah!
165
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,384
Jesus, Jack!
166
00:07:34,384 --> 00:07:35,005
What?
167
00:07:35,544 --> 00:07:37,387
I was thinking about wearing this for Halloween.
168
00:07:37,768 --> 00:07:41,954
My estranged, flat-chested half-sister was nearly killed by a psycho in a ghost mask.
169
00:07:42,916 --> 00:07:45,839
Now that I see her, I can't make up for the past.
170
00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:47,122
Well, hey, hey, hey.
171
00:07:47,903 --> 00:07:48,903
I'm going with you.
172
00:07:49,506 --> 00:07:52,509
Not because I'm the obvious killer trying to lure you back here from town.
173
00:07:52,709 --> 00:07:54,190
I'm just a supportive boyfriend.
174
00:07:54,714 --> 00:07:55,034
What?
175
00:07:55,254 --> 00:07:55,694
That's all.
176
00:07:57,456 --> 00:07:58,417
Okay, let's go.
177
00:07:58,497 --> 00:07:58,938
Get in the car.
178
00:07:59,781 --> 00:08:01,983
Listen, we just have to make one stop on the way.
179
00:08:01,983 --> 00:08:03,865
I survived.
180
00:08:04,648 --> 00:08:06,790
Oh, thanks to my lucky penny.
181
00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:08,313
Bye-bye.
182
00:08:32,518 --> 00:08:34,009
I hate when y'all leave!
183
00:08:34,009 --> 00:08:35,373
Kill him, young!
184
00:08:36,275 --> 00:08:37,115
My, my!
185
00:08:37,315 --> 00:08:39,598
Come on, turn off this ratchet-ass music.
186
00:08:39,738 --> 00:08:42,022
It's embarrassing, especially for black women.
187
00:08:42,343 --> 00:08:43,364
It's not embarrassing.
188
00:08:43,504 --> 00:08:45,729
I'm the cool mom everybody wished they had.
189
00:08:45,828 --> 00:08:46,370
I'm lit!
190
00:08:46,469 --> 00:08:48,612
Don't forget, I got practice later, so I'll be home late.
191
00:08:48,772 --> 00:08:52,878
You only made the team because you're black, and those racist fucks assumed you could play.
192
00:08:53,359 --> 00:08:54,700
It's 2026.
193
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,625
I don't think race is an issue.
194
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,086
Do you read black Twitter?
195
00:08:58,807 --> 00:08:59,227
No.
196
00:08:59,227 --> 00:09:01,010
Oh, great.
197
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,653
Are you still dating that hoe?
198
00:09:02,972 --> 00:09:05,155
Okay, stop hoe-shaming her.
199
00:09:05,315 --> 00:09:08,901
Just because Daryl and them ride a train on her doesn't make her a hoe.
200
00:09:09,042 --> 00:09:10,122
She's not a hoe.
201
00:09:10,563 --> 00:09:11,627
She's sex positive.
202
00:09:12,126 --> 00:09:13,848
Well, I'm positive she's a hoe.
203
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:15,913
Hey, Daryl!
204
00:09:15,993 --> 00:09:16,834
Look at you!
205
00:09:17,074 --> 00:09:18,355
Early for Halloween, huh?
206
00:09:18,556 --> 00:09:20,338
What you gonna see, a slutty schoolgirl?
207
00:09:20,577 --> 00:09:21,201
Howdy, hoe!
208
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:22,541
Hi, Miss Mint.
209
00:09:23,443 --> 00:09:24,684
Love the hair.
210
00:09:24,684 --> 00:09:26,949
Very Octavia Spencer.
211
00:09:27,130 --> 00:09:28,290
Well, thank you very much.
212
00:09:28,370 --> 00:09:30,975
I gotta invite you over and make you a little shit pie.
213
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,097
Ooh, you know what?
214
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,239
I gotta get to African American history class.
215
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:36,683
We're learning about slavery.
216
00:09:37,084 --> 00:09:38,004
I'm trying to find out.
217
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:39,106
It was a choice.
218
00:09:39,206 --> 00:09:39,947
You see that right there?
219
00:09:41,027 --> 00:09:41,770
That's Kanye.
220
00:09:42,011 --> 00:09:42,411
That's right.
221
00:09:42,631 --> 00:09:44,994
They've been teaching us wrong all this time.
222
00:09:45,434 --> 00:09:46,257
Stay black.
223
00:09:47,259 --> 00:09:47,798
Bye, ma.
224
00:09:48,079 --> 00:09:49,641
Bye, baby.
225
00:09:49,641 --> 00:09:51,202
I'm speaking fast.
226
00:09:51,305 --> 00:09:53,387
Then I put some kindness in your bag.
227
00:09:53,487 --> 00:09:54,909
You know how they try to trap you.
228
00:09:58,334 --> 00:09:59,135
Okay, seriously?
229
00:09:59,456 --> 00:10:01,377
Sheriff Grant, you don't have to walk me to class.
230
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:01,800
I'm fine.
231
00:10:01,961 --> 00:10:04,263
Jess, there's a serial killer on the loose.
232
00:10:04,703 --> 00:10:07,208
I'm not gonna let anything happen to my baby girl.
233
00:10:07,849 --> 00:10:08,650
Boy, okay?
234
00:10:08,770 --> 00:10:09,511
I'm a baby boy.
235
00:10:09,571 --> 00:10:10,132
I'm sorry.
236
00:10:10,751 --> 00:10:12,777
I'm still having a hard time with this transition.
237
00:10:13,016 --> 00:10:13,817
It's really simple.
238
00:10:14,418 --> 00:10:16,039
Treat me like one of the guys.
239
00:10:16,039 --> 00:10:17,083
Okay?
240
00:10:17,844 --> 00:10:19,445
I can do that.
241
00:10:20,347 --> 00:10:21,347
Slap fight.
242
00:10:22,150 --> 00:10:23,671
You call that a slap?
243
00:10:25,853 --> 00:10:27,979
Who the hell did you do that for?
244
00:10:28,639 --> 00:10:29,781
I'm such a bitch.
245
00:10:31,782 --> 00:10:32,585
Bitch.
246
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,713
Not bad.
247
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:42,420
Who lives like this?
248
00:10:53,896 --> 00:10:57,330
Oh, good to see you.
249
00:10:57,472 --> 00:10:58,173
Come in.
250
00:10:58,273 --> 00:10:59,113
Do you want some tea?
251
00:10:59,394 --> 00:11:00,716
Oh, my God, Mother.
252
00:11:00,796 --> 00:11:02,197
You look like shit.
253
00:11:02,981 --> 00:11:03,621
Hey, please.
254
00:11:03,722 --> 00:11:05,503
This is clearly a woman who's run out of conditioner.
255
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:06,944
Oh, be careful where you walk.
256
00:11:07,024 --> 00:11:08,729
The whole place is booby-trapped.
257
00:11:09,208 --> 00:11:11,051
You never know when that psycho's gonna come back.
258
00:11:11,550 --> 00:11:12,072
Come in.
259
00:11:13,335 --> 00:11:13,736
Okay.
260
00:11:13,736 --> 00:11:13,856
I'm sorry.
261
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,432
I hate this job.
262
00:11:28,217 --> 00:11:28,918
Mr. Campbell.
263
00:11:30,419 --> 00:11:31,960
I'm Jack, Sarah's boyfriend.
264
00:11:33,104 --> 00:11:34,425
I've heard so much about you.
265
00:11:34,826 --> 00:11:35,787
Not a thing good.
266
00:11:36,669 --> 00:11:39,033
I've heard nothing about you, Jack.
267
00:11:39,113 --> 00:11:40,795
I assume you're a piece of shit.
268
00:11:41,136 --> 00:11:45,922
But how would I know when I haven't heard from my daughter in, what, six months?
269
00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:47,664
Six years, Mother.
270
00:11:47,905 --> 00:11:49,228
And whose fault is that?
271
00:11:49,228 --> 00:11:50,529
Whose fault is that?
272
00:11:50,589 --> 00:11:51,050
I don't know.
273
00:11:51,150 --> 00:11:51,951
Maybe it's yours.
274
00:11:53,131 --> 00:11:54,035
That's fair.
275
00:11:54,275 --> 00:11:57,218
We want to learn from the horror you survived.
276
00:11:57,618 --> 00:12:02,186
Look, Scary Movie 3 and 4 paid me a lot of money for a girl.
277
00:12:02,345 --> 00:12:03,970
There is nothing to learn there.
278
00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:06,973
But if you want to talk about the house, buddy, she...
279
00:12:06,973 --> 00:12:08,174
It's happening again.
280
00:12:08,576 --> 00:12:10,899
Some asshole in a mask.
281
00:12:10,899 --> 00:12:12,321
We have to stop him.
282
00:12:12,861 --> 00:12:14,365
You're not ready, Lovebug.
283
00:12:15,045 --> 00:12:17,607
I have been preparing for this for years.
284
00:12:18,449 --> 00:12:19,573
Sacrificed everything.
285
00:12:19,833 --> 00:12:21,134
You are a terrible mother.
286
00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:22,555
Come on, honey.
287
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,560
We had some good times.
288
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,544
Like that Christmas I took you to meet Santa at the mall.
289
00:12:36,136 --> 00:12:37,739
Your turn, Sarah.
290
00:12:38,639 --> 00:12:39,462
Move.
291
00:12:39,942 --> 00:12:41,144
Hi, Santa.
292
00:12:41,584 --> 00:12:45,150
Sorry if I don't sit in your lap.
293
00:12:45,351 --> 00:12:46,671
You creep me out.
294
00:12:54,364 --> 00:12:55,185
Mom!
295
00:12:55,784 --> 00:12:57,868
Santa does this every year.
296
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,732
Be sure to thank him.
297
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,842
That was fun.
298
00:13:09,104 --> 00:13:10,688
Now, back to us.
299
00:13:11,608 --> 00:13:13,110
What the fuck?
300
00:13:16,134 --> 00:13:20,462
I am sorry if that's how you found out Santa doesn't exist.
301
00:13:20,983 --> 00:13:22,944
Mother, I need your help.
302
00:13:23,205 --> 00:13:26,110
To heal our emotional wounds and put the past behind us?
303
00:13:26,851 --> 00:13:27,932
God, no.
304
00:13:28,493 --> 00:13:30,337
No, to kill Ghostface.
305
00:13:30,998 --> 00:13:31,898
Do you have any guns?
306
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,784
I am Cindy fucking Campbell.
307
00:13:36,365 --> 00:13:38,007
I've got millions of guns.
308
00:13:38,007 --> 00:13:42,914
But none of them are registered due to my mental health issues.
309
00:13:43,174 --> 00:13:45,939
So if you could just keep that on the low.
310
00:13:47,741 --> 00:13:48,182
Okay.
311
00:13:48,923 --> 00:13:50,587
Yeah, I'm gonna be fine.
312
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:53,290
I didn't hurt myself on any of these fights.
313
00:13:58,377 --> 00:14:01,583
Oh, hey.
314
00:14:01,762 --> 00:14:02,843
So I spoke to Sarah earlier.
315
00:14:03,244 --> 00:14:03,745
Oh, is she coming?
316
00:14:03,745 --> 00:14:06,149
You know I did hear a buzzing sound.
317
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:07,210
So it's possible.
318
00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:08,912
No, I meant to Woodsville.
319
00:14:09,293 --> 00:14:09,732
Dumbass.
320
00:14:09,873 --> 00:14:10,917
Oh, I forgot that.
321
00:14:11,057 --> 00:14:11,637
Hey, Jimbo!
322
00:14:12,097 --> 00:14:12,698
Go deep!
323
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:14,659
Oh!
324
00:14:15,703 --> 00:14:16,144
Sweet!
325
00:14:17,826 --> 00:14:19,448
Speaking of going deep...
326
00:14:19,448 --> 00:14:21,091
I don't know if it's a good time.
327
00:14:21,471 --> 00:14:24,975
Everyone knows what happens to teenagers who try to make love when there's a killer on the loose.
328
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,439
Brad's right about one thing, guys.
329
00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:27,840
Ghostface is back.
330
00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:29,001
We need to arm up.
331
00:14:29,543 --> 00:14:30,803
Pepper spray, check.
332
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,689
Taser, check.
333
00:14:34,169 --> 00:14:35,110
Butt plug?
334
00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:36,394
Double check.
335
00:14:37,195 --> 00:14:37,915
Goddamn!
336
00:14:38,496 --> 00:14:40,097
You just carry that thing around?
337
00:14:40,438 --> 00:14:41,421
It's easy to hide.
338
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:45,806
In your butt?
339
00:14:47,649 --> 00:14:48,650
I'm impressed.
340
00:14:58,145 --> 00:15:00,048
What's up, y'all?
341
00:15:00,727 --> 00:15:01,771
I'm back!
342
00:15:05,135 --> 00:15:06,215
Man, what's up, huh?
343
00:15:06,456 --> 00:15:06,779
Huh?
344
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:12,527
I'm tired of you little Gen Z alpha niggas using terms like uncle and auntie.
345
00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:14,829
Gaslighting and glazing and glamping.
346
00:15:15,049 --> 00:15:16,933
Trying to make my generation sound old.
347
00:15:17,194 --> 00:15:18,475
I ain't your damn uncle, nigga!
348
00:15:18,735 --> 00:15:20,597
Shorty, you're a mother's brother.
349
00:15:20,757 --> 00:15:22,541
So yeah, technically you are our alpha.
350
00:15:23,241 --> 00:15:23,422
Oh.
351
00:15:23,803 --> 00:15:24,624
My bad.
352
00:15:25,704 --> 00:15:28,129
It's crazy that they let you teach here.
353
00:15:28,649 --> 00:15:29,051
Teach?
354
00:15:29,671 --> 00:15:30,392
Nah, nigga.
355
00:15:31,212 --> 00:15:31,935
I attend.
356
00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:35,058
You look like a proud 25th year senior.
357
00:15:35,819 --> 00:15:37,303
When are you finally gonna graduate?
358
00:15:37,663 --> 00:15:41,367
By the time we do a sequel and I gotta follow you little young niggas to college to get my check.
359
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,132
Wait, guys, Tuesday's a wait.
360
00:15:43,472 --> 00:15:44,372
All right, Tuesday!
361
00:15:44,492 --> 00:15:45,334
Who the fuck is Tuesday?
362
00:15:45,974 --> 00:15:47,157
Hey, we gotta go to the hospital.
363
00:15:47,298 --> 00:15:48,059
You gonna take the bus home?
364
00:15:48,259 --> 00:15:49,440
Nah, the PJ.
365
00:15:50,281 --> 00:15:51,082
Private Jet?
366
00:15:51,462 --> 00:15:52,265
Yeah, jealous.
367
00:15:52,806 --> 00:15:54,527
Man, you smoke weed all day.
368
00:15:54,527 --> 00:15:56,509
Just play video games, live stream.
369
00:15:56,770 --> 00:15:58,394
You literally got money doing nothing.
370
00:15:58,634 --> 00:15:59,154
Exactly.
371
00:15:59,755 --> 00:16:01,577
I leave the hard work for the old head.
372
00:16:01,717 --> 00:16:02,980
Ah, shit!
373
00:16:04,202 --> 00:16:05,583
Still the same shorty.
374
00:16:07,186 --> 00:16:08,469
Check my crypto.
375
00:16:08,829 --> 00:16:10,771
Oh, shit, I'm up 3 million dollars!
376
00:16:12,432 --> 00:16:14,357
Damn, now I'm down 5 million.
377
00:16:15,037 --> 00:16:16,599
This shit go crazy, son.
378
00:16:18,164 --> 00:16:19,163
What they doing?
379
00:16:48,648 --> 00:16:49,209
Ray!
380
00:16:52,251 --> 00:16:53,955
Sister Brenda, it's okay.
381
00:16:54,497 --> 00:16:56,319
You heard the call of sin yesterday.
382
00:16:56,759 --> 00:17:00,184
But the Lord has called on us to show men such like you the way.
383
00:17:00,184 --> 00:17:01,606
Come on, son.
384
00:17:02,067 --> 00:17:03,088
Come with us.
385
00:17:03,851 --> 00:17:04,692
Come on us.
386
00:17:05,312 --> 00:17:06,233
God see you're coming.
387
00:17:06,713 --> 00:17:07,754
So don't cheat that girl.
388
00:17:08,175 --> 00:17:11,700
We need you to come like you never came before.
389
00:17:12,242 --> 00:17:14,046
Come for the father, come for the son.
390
00:17:14,386 --> 00:17:16,428
I'm gonna hold your hand and we gonna come together.
391
00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:20,454
Amen.
392
00:17:22,036 --> 00:17:22,357
Amen.
393
00:17:23,657 --> 00:17:26,382
In the name of God, let it go, Ray.
394
00:17:26,903 --> 00:17:27,684
Let it go!
395
00:17:27,684 --> 00:17:27,783
Let it go!
396
00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:30,889
Oh, my bad.
397
00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:32,731
Last time.
398
00:17:35,435 --> 00:17:39,202
Let's welcome a new member to our congregation.
399
00:18:03,756 --> 00:18:08,403
Even if he's sexy as hell with a big old chest as his and perky areolas.
400
00:18:09,404 --> 00:18:14,755
I no longer carry a purse, put on makeup, walk around in high heels.
401
00:18:15,836 --> 00:18:16,596
Red bottoms.
402
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:18,818
What with the cute little buckle on the side.
403
00:18:19,762 --> 00:18:25,210
I no longer go on blind dates and swipe right at black men.
404
00:18:25,210 --> 00:18:26,471
White men.
405
00:18:27,111 --> 00:18:27,872
Asian men.
406
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:32,921
I no longer take trips to the Philippines looking for ladyboys.
407
00:18:33,301 --> 00:18:35,263
To Phuket, Ko Samui.
408
00:18:35,263 --> 00:18:36,206
Back to Phuket.
409
00:18:36,445 --> 00:18:38,549
Then to Vietnam to see if I can get them any cheaper.
410
00:18:38,768 --> 00:18:40,793
I thought that was my anniversary, Ray.
411
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,775
Oh, this naked got a lot in my house.
412
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:47,361
I no longer stand butt naked in the mirror with my penis tucked between my legs.
413
00:18:47,722 --> 00:18:50,144
Dancing like a dude from Silence of the Lambs.
414
00:18:50,247 --> 00:18:52,269
It puts colostrum in the basket, Precious.
415
00:18:52,269 --> 00:18:53,771
I'm a changed man.
416
00:18:53,891 --> 00:18:54,812
I've been delivered.
417
00:18:55,655 --> 00:18:56,575
I will.
418
00:18:56,895 --> 00:18:58,077
I said I will.
419
00:18:58,658 --> 00:19:01,406
I will love a woman.
420
00:19:03,024 --> 00:19:05,676
- Women, Women !!!
- Women with penis.
421
00:19:05,877 --> 00:19:09,422
- Women, Women !!!
- Menses Menses.
422
00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:15,061
No, no.
423
00:19:25,516 --> 00:19:26,480
Whoa, nigga.
424
00:19:26,961 --> 00:19:28,863
Hock to, hock to, hock to.
425
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,564
Damn, Hock, you doing it?
426
00:19:31,467 --> 00:19:32,427
I've been delivered.
427
00:19:45,566 --> 00:19:46,449
I've been delivered.
428
00:20:02,132 --> 00:20:03,213
Jesus Christ.
429
00:20:04,755 --> 00:20:06,016
Oh, my God.
430
00:20:06,236 --> 00:20:07,480
Oh, her face.
431
00:20:07,601 --> 00:20:10,003
Oh, my God, in the morning.
432
00:20:16,371 --> 00:20:18,155
I'm trying to get that hook for an hour.
433
00:20:18,836 --> 00:20:20,258
I am, too.
434
00:20:20,878 --> 00:20:22,883
Hey, what if they're giving you the pain?
435
00:20:23,063 --> 00:20:25,645
Is that more pain, or...
436
00:20:26,206 --> 00:20:26,746
Bitch.
437
00:20:28,051 --> 00:20:28,590
Yeah.
438
00:20:30,052 --> 00:20:31,133
Oh, yeah.
439
00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:34,399
Oh, this stuff good, good.
440
00:20:35,019 --> 00:20:36,821
This stuff Britney Spears should.
441
00:20:36,921 --> 00:20:40,307
Makes me want to get a house naked, dance around, and juggle some knives.
442
00:20:41,368 --> 00:20:43,093
Who's that Jeffrey Dahmer look-a-like?
443
00:20:44,214 --> 00:20:46,295
This is my boyfriend, Jack.
444
00:20:46,596 --> 00:20:47,660
Really nice to meet you.
445
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:50,322
Looks like Ted Bundy to me.
446
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,687
But that ain't none of my business.
447
00:20:55,089 --> 00:20:57,293
This old stabbed-up bitch here needs some rest.
448
00:20:57,634 --> 00:20:59,316
So y'all, get the fuck out!
449
00:20:59,516 --> 00:21:00,057
Yes, ma'am.
450
00:21:02,218 --> 00:21:03,402
Oh, not you, Sarah.
451
00:21:03,702 --> 00:21:04,142
Why?
452
00:21:04,243 --> 00:21:05,224
What did I do?
453
00:21:06,545 --> 00:21:07,689
I'm so scared.
454
00:21:09,531 --> 00:21:11,853
Oh, Toose, you should be.
455
00:21:12,433 --> 00:21:15,199
You've been stabbed nine times.
456
00:21:15,639 --> 00:21:17,360
And the killer knows where you live.
457
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:20,567
I would invite you to come stay at my place, but...
458
00:21:20,567 --> 00:21:22,831
I don't really want that kind of teacher in my house.
459
00:21:23,411 --> 00:21:26,335
For all we know, he's standing right outside that door.
460
00:21:32,283 --> 00:21:33,546
It's comforting, Sarah.
461
00:21:34,447 --> 00:21:35,849
I thought I was gonna die.
462
00:21:35,989 --> 00:21:37,410
I know, me too.
463
00:21:38,013 --> 00:21:39,514
I planned your funeral.
464
00:21:40,576 --> 00:21:41,417
What the hell?
465
00:21:41,578 --> 00:21:43,361
And I wrote your obituary.
466
00:21:43,602 --> 00:21:45,063
More like tattooed T wrote it.
467
00:21:45,203 --> 00:21:46,244
But you're still here.
468
00:21:46,244 --> 00:21:49,589
And I will never let anyone hurt you.
469
00:21:50,971 --> 00:21:51,933
Oh, dumb!
470
00:21:52,172 --> 00:21:53,255
I should've...
471
00:21:55,477 --> 00:21:56,579
Get off me!
472
00:21:58,120 --> 00:21:58,604
Help!
473
00:21:59,764 --> 00:22:01,687
This white girl here got on my shit!
474
00:22:02,108 --> 00:22:05,052
I'm a D.E.I. Oh my God, oh my God, she's fired!
475
00:22:05,292 --> 00:22:05,993
Let me go!
476
00:22:06,394 --> 00:22:07,635
No, no, I'm good, I'm good.
477
00:22:07,775 --> 00:22:07,996
Clear!
478
00:22:09,459 --> 00:22:09,939
Again!
479
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,302
Come on, white bitch, I need this job!
480
00:22:13,023 --> 00:22:14,106
It's not working!
481
00:22:14,927 --> 00:22:16,509
Oh, we're losing her!
482
00:22:22,717 --> 00:22:23,841
Oh boy.
483
00:22:24,602 --> 00:22:28,585
Look like there ain't nothing left but forks, cribs, and pork rinds.
484
00:22:29,269 --> 00:22:30,010
Dear Lord.
485
00:22:30,248 --> 00:22:30,810
Ms. Director!
486
00:22:31,290 --> 00:22:32,131
Check out the wire!
487
00:22:32,432 --> 00:22:34,276
The wire was the shit, baby.
488
00:22:34,376 --> 00:22:38,840
That's my show, Drugs, and that Idris Elba make this coochie wanna pop, pop, pop!
489
00:22:39,203 --> 00:22:43,427
Dear Lord, please accept this white bitch and...
490
00:22:43,427 --> 00:22:44,170
Oh!
491
00:22:44,511 --> 00:22:46,954
The love works in mysterious ways.
492
00:22:47,995 --> 00:22:48,915
I'm going over it.
493
00:22:49,698 --> 00:22:50,539
I choose.
494
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,823
I will never let anyone hurt you...
495
00:22:53,823 --> 00:22:54,204
Again.
496
00:22:58,790 --> 00:23:00,414
Oh, my bad!
497
00:23:11,729 --> 00:23:12,532
Hello?
498
00:23:13,571 --> 00:23:14,916
Hello, Sarah.
499
00:23:15,637 --> 00:23:17,037
Who is this?
500
00:23:17,658 --> 00:23:20,403
Someone who knows your little secret.
501
00:23:21,183 --> 00:23:24,408
No, no, no, I swear that wasn't a Nazi salute, okay?
502
00:23:24,547 --> 00:23:27,513
I won Prime Queen, and I was throwing my heart to the crowd!
503
00:23:27,754 --> 00:23:32,320
No, I'm talking about your family secret.
504
00:23:33,502 --> 00:23:36,386
Oh, you're the fuck who hurt my sister!
505
00:23:37,108 --> 00:23:39,330
Well, I had to get you to come back here.
506
00:23:39,650 --> 00:23:43,577
Listen, if you wanna fuck with me, asshole, then come and get me!
507
00:23:43,857 --> 00:23:44,857
With pleasure.
508
00:23:51,410 --> 00:23:52,710
Somebody help!
509
00:23:53,551 --> 00:23:55,556
Please, somebody help!
510
00:23:57,137 --> 00:23:57,677
Bitch!
511
00:23:58,899 --> 00:24:00,342
This the break room.
512
00:24:01,143 --> 00:24:02,244
We all break.
513
00:24:02,765 --> 00:24:03,366
Oh, God.
514
00:24:10,214 --> 00:24:10,958
Take that!
515
00:24:15,162 --> 00:24:16,886
Please, beat me!
516
00:24:17,166 --> 00:24:19,608
I've been saving people all day!
517
00:24:19,608 --> 00:24:26,681
So you handle yours, I'll be right over here eating my falafel and my pork rinds.
518
00:24:26,761 --> 00:24:27,662
I look like your mama?
519
00:24:30,224 --> 00:24:32,528
Time now breaks over.
520
00:24:39,118 --> 00:24:40,119
You're welcome.
521
00:24:43,284 --> 00:24:45,967
It really looks like you got hit with something hard.
522
00:24:46,250 --> 00:24:46,730
Like metal.
523
00:24:46,911 --> 00:24:48,512
I told you, I fell.
524
00:24:49,033 --> 00:24:50,534
Now where exactly are we going?
525
00:24:50,534 --> 00:24:52,118
To talk to an expert.
526
00:25:05,097 --> 00:25:05,997
Go away!
527
00:25:06,137 --> 00:25:09,522
I'm so sorry to bother you, we just wanna ask you a few questions.
528
00:25:10,363 --> 00:25:12,649
Give me one good reason why I should talk to you.
529
00:25:13,268 --> 00:25:13,809
I'm white.
530
00:25:14,170 --> 00:25:14,831
How white?
531
00:25:14,971 --> 00:25:17,035
Oh, I'm talking Candace Owens white.
532
00:25:18,376 --> 00:25:18,697
Hello.
533
00:25:18,997 --> 00:25:19,498
Take a seat.
534
00:25:19,998 --> 00:25:22,744
When you said expert, I assumed you meant more like Mildred Grass Tyson.
535
00:25:22,884 --> 00:25:23,143
Fuck.
536
00:25:23,924 --> 00:25:25,026
I'm Sarah Campbell.
537
00:25:25,526 --> 00:25:26,647
I was attacked last night.
538
00:25:26,647 --> 00:25:27,430
I think you should leave.
539
00:25:27,851 --> 00:25:30,573
I don't wanna get stabbed, and I don't like COVID, okay?
540
00:25:30,713 --> 00:25:31,435
Please, come on.
541
00:25:31,455 --> 00:25:32,397
Just two minutes.
542
00:25:32,477 --> 00:25:33,178
That's all I'm asking.
543
00:25:33,257 --> 00:25:34,099
No, no.
544
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:35,961
I'll give you eight minutes.
545
00:25:37,405 --> 00:25:38,106
And another thing.
546
00:25:39,667 --> 00:25:41,148
Oh, I gotta tell you to go.
547
00:25:45,416 --> 00:25:46,757
Now you guys go.
548
00:25:47,159 --> 00:25:49,202
When did the work week become the woke week?
549
00:25:49,461 --> 00:25:50,643
We've got Black Friday.
550
00:25:50,724 --> 00:25:51,223
What's next?
551
00:25:51,343 --> 00:25:52,084
Mulatto Monday?
552
00:25:52,688 --> 00:25:53,808
I mean Yellow Thursday?
553
00:25:53,808 --> 00:25:54,769
Yeah.
554
00:25:54,769 --> 00:25:55,811
Come on.
555
00:25:58,675 --> 00:26:00,658
Let me get this out of the way.
556
00:26:01,118 --> 00:26:01,799
Come on.
557
00:26:03,423 --> 00:26:03,742
Oh.
558
00:26:04,123 --> 00:26:05,004
Oh, this is bad.
559
00:26:06,465 --> 00:26:06,907
Yep.
560
00:26:07,186 --> 00:26:07,750
You're good.
561
00:26:09,691 --> 00:26:11,453
You're Cindy's daughter, right?
562
00:26:11,653 --> 00:26:12,034
Yeah.
563
00:26:12,334 --> 00:26:12,597
Yeah.
564
00:26:13,077 --> 00:26:13,898
I don't know him.
565
00:26:14,078 --> 00:26:15,079
Oh, this is Jack.
566
00:26:15,580 --> 00:26:16,261
My love interest.
567
00:26:16,620 --> 00:26:18,265
No, no, no, no.
568
00:26:18,626 --> 00:26:23,793
Rule number one of surviving a horror movie is never trust the love interest.
569
00:26:24,072 --> 00:26:24,613
Look at him.
570
00:26:25,495 --> 00:26:31,464
He's got that weird, lazy eye poking one way, but he's drooling like a psychopath.
571
00:26:32,364 --> 00:26:33,768
He's got that stumped leg.
572
00:26:34,148 --> 00:26:36,391
Makes the wall walk weird and creepy.
573
00:26:36,771 --> 00:26:38,094
I don't have a stump.
574
00:26:38,335 --> 00:26:39,375
Well, that guy does.
575
00:26:39,856 --> 00:26:40,236
Oh.
576
00:26:40,677 --> 00:26:41,798
You're looking at me.
577
00:26:43,081 --> 00:26:44,363
That's your instruction, Doofy.
578
00:26:45,184 --> 00:26:45,704
Retired.
579
00:26:46,465 --> 00:26:48,649
Listen, Doofy, we could really use your help.
580
00:26:49,291 --> 00:26:49,690
No.
581
00:26:50,391 --> 00:26:51,573
I can't go back to that life.
582
00:26:51,793 --> 00:26:54,077
Plus, we're in the middle of a global pandemic.
583
00:26:54,077 --> 00:26:58,041
Okay, I hate to break it to you, but COVID has been over for, like, years.
584
00:26:58,944 --> 00:26:59,345
Really?
585
00:27:00,446 --> 00:27:00,846
Yeah.
586
00:27:03,982 --> 00:27:04,782
Damn it!
587
00:27:05,683 --> 00:27:07,106
What am I going to do about it?
588
00:27:07,225 --> 00:27:07,666
Can't be.
589
00:27:10,110 --> 00:27:10,851
Get out.
590
00:27:11,112 --> 00:27:12,593
I don't want to go see society.
591
00:27:13,194 --> 00:27:13,897
And don't come back.
592
00:27:33,323 --> 00:27:34,387
Take a look, Doofy.
593
00:27:34,848 --> 00:27:35,668
It's what he did.
594
00:27:37,350 --> 00:27:40,215
Okay, just because he showered doesn't mean that...
595
00:27:40,215 --> 00:27:41,016
Yeah, I didn't shower.
596
00:27:41,176 --> 00:27:43,057
I just take water from my mouth.
597
00:27:43,679 --> 00:27:44,322
You want some?
598
00:27:44,542 --> 00:27:45,442
No, that's okay.
599
00:27:45,722 --> 00:27:46,824
Come on, Doofy.
600
00:27:47,025 --> 00:27:47,305
Yeah.
601
00:27:47,605 --> 00:27:48,105
Do it.
602
00:27:48,325 --> 00:27:50,110
Sarah, is your give-a-wax mom coming?
603
00:27:50,331 --> 00:27:51,390
Or can we start talking about this?
604
00:27:53,854 --> 00:27:54,537
Uh...
605
00:27:55,477 --> 00:27:56,158
Hi.
606
00:27:57,379 --> 00:27:58,159
You came.
607
00:27:58,460 --> 00:28:00,104
Not in, like, 15 years, honey.
608
00:28:00,465 --> 00:28:02,027
But I did buy this.
609
00:28:02,427 --> 00:28:03,407
You rose, huh?
610
00:28:03,528 --> 00:28:04,309
Fingers crossed.
611
00:28:08,475 --> 00:28:09,155
Oh!
612
00:28:10,139 --> 00:28:10,701
Oh!
613
00:28:11,220 --> 00:28:12,802
Oh, my old friend!
614
00:28:13,282 --> 00:28:15,146
You taught me how to dance!
615
00:28:15,628 --> 00:28:18,370
How to make a high and work pie!
616
00:28:18,690 --> 00:28:20,675
Nigga, I'm writing back to you.
617
00:28:20,675 --> 00:28:21,595
Sweet!
618
00:28:21,915 --> 00:28:23,097
What's up, Sandy?
619
00:28:23,218 --> 00:28:24,258
How you doing?
620
00:28:24,478 --> 00:28:25,102
Hi, nigga.
621
00:28:26,542 --> 00:28:27,103
Shit!
622
00:28:27,384 --> 00:28:31,090
I can't believe you thought I was dead.
623
00:28:31,249 --> 00:28:38,119
Well, between cancer from the weed, smoke, your love of the McRib, and racist cops, I didn't think you had a chance.
624
00:28:38,260 --> 00:28:39,401
Yeah, that's a terrible comment.
625
00:28:40,503 --> 00:28:41,685
Hi, Sandy.
626
00:28:41,745 --> 00:28:43,407
Stop smiling at me!
627
00:28:44,808 --> 00:28:46,372
Oh, shit!
628
00:28:46,852 --> 00:28:47,413
Wildstar!
629
00:28:48,075 --> 00:28:48,635
Wildstar!
630
00:28:49,014 --> 00:28:49,576
Wildstar!
631
00:28:49,576 --> 00:28:51,759
Hey, he's intellectually disabled.
632
00:28:52,341 --> 00:28:54,242
That's just how he looks, you drunk honky.
633
00:28:54,382 --> 00:28:54,943
Hey, hey, hey!
634
00:28:55,346 --> 00:28:56,666
Don't call that white bitch a honky.
635
00:28:57,128 --> 00:28:58,089
Come on, have some respect.
636
00:28:58,349 --> 00:29:00,914
I keep seeing people smiling everywhere.
637
00:29:01,415 --> 00:29:05,038
I'm not very likable, so it must be some kind of curse.
638
00:29:05,461 --> 00:29:06,061
Hey, everybody!
639
00:29:06,962 --> 00:29:08,184
Look what I got!
640
00:29:08,384 --> 00:29:14,893
Non-branded gelatine shot made with brain alcohol and GHB, so ain't nobody sipping that, making sense of life.
641
00:29:15,153 --> 00:29:15,636
Wildstar!
642
00:29:15,876 --> 00:29:16,457
I apologize.
643
00:29:16,737 --> 00:29:17,036
Take one.
644
00:29:17,137 --> 00:29:18,459
I love being myself.
645
00:29:19,460 --> 00:29:20,883
No, no more.
646
00:29:21,064 --> 00:29:21,624
Hi, Brenda.
647
00:29:22,023 --> 00:29:24,287
Please do not call me by my government name.
648
00:29:24,388 --> 00:29:25,148
Call me Ma.
649
00:29:27,072 --> 00:29:27,552
Sandy!
650
00:29:29,834 --> 00:29:31,259
You dropped a tray.
651
00:29:31,519 --> 00:29:32,660
Oh my God, Sandy!
652
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,302
I haven't seen you in forever!
653
00:29:35,082 --> 00:29:36,967
Oh my God, and look at you, you look the same!
654
00:29:37,767 --> 00:29:39,109
Minus the crow's feet.
655
00:29:39,630 --> 00:29:41,394
And your hair is so dry.
656
00:29:41,674 --> 00:29:44,377
Oh, and your titties dropped so far.
657
00:29:44,657 --> 00:29:47,362
Other than that, you look the exact same.
658
00:29:47,362 --> 00:29:48,683
What have you been up to?
659
00:29:49,464 --> 00:29:54,192
Oh, you know, neglecting my children so I can barely kill Ghostfish should he ever return.
660
00:29:54,893 --> 00:29:55,733
What about you?
661
00:29:56,235 --> 00:30:01,120
Well, I've been mostly just getting high school kids drunk in a desperate attempt to stay young and keep my kids at home.
662
00:30:01,463 --> 00:30:02,924
I always knew you'd be a great mom.
663
00:30:03,064 --> 00:30:04,046
Oh, Sandy.
664
00:30:04,687 --> 00:30:05,467
Should we hug?
665
00:30:05,567 --> 00:30:09,414
Oh, I really want to, but I'm a Republican now, so I'm supposed to be racist.
666
00:30:09,614 --> 00:30:11,999
Oh, girl, I think all white people are racist anyway.
667
00:30:12,178 --> 00:30:12,680
Come here.
668
00:30:12,759 --> 00:30:13,139
Okay.
669
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:14,281
Oh.
670
00:30:15,561 --> 00:30:16,605
Do you want to be shot?
671
00:30:17,066 --> 00:30:17,886
Oh, yes, yes.
672
00:30:18,287 --> 00:30:25,257
You know, Ma, this place could be so cool if you had, like, a beer pong table over there, maybe, like, a snack wall.
673
00:30:25,497 --> 00:30:26,278
What do you know about cool?
674
00:30:26,457 --> 00:30:28,562
When I was your age, I was popping bottles with Puffy.
675
00:30:28,863 --> 00:30:31,222
Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy.
676
00:30:31,273 --> 00:30:32,279
All the Seans.
677
00:30:33,338 --> 00:30:34,360
That didn't end as well.
678
00:30:34,561 --> 00:30:36,602
Your mama was the freak in the freak house.
679
00:30:37,846 --> 00:30:39,548
You want to see something cool?
680
00:30:40,229 --> 00:30:41,249
I'm gonna show you something cool.
681
00:30:49,302 --> 00:30:50,364
God, that's cool.
682
00:30:50,684 --> 00:30:51,505
What are you doing?
683
00:30:51,805 --> 00:30:52,248
What?
684
00:30:52,568 --> 00:30:53,789
No, not like that.
685
00:30:56,559 --> 00:31:00,807
I don't know why you're acting so scared the gun is even not loaded.
686
00:31:02,548 --> 00:31:04,001
Shit ! Man !
687
00:31:05,206 --> 00:31:06,266
I did it again.
688
00:31:11,875 --> 00:31:14,620
That was fun.
689
00:31:20,308 --> 00:31:21,709
You know what?
690
00:31:22,049 --> 00:31:25,155
I used to put cocaine in my hula and travel all the time.
691
00:31:26,357 --> 00:31:26,796
Yeah.
692
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,782
All right, let's get back to the plot.
693
00:31:38,406 --> 00:31:39,867
I'm looking at you, Ted Bundy.
694
00:31:40,007 --> 00:31:41,409
I'm looking like a school shooter.
695
00:31:41,649 --> 00:31:42,550
I think you're the killer.
696
00:31:42,910 --> 00:31:43,313
Oh, me?
697
00:31:43,493 --> 00:31:45,695
Okay, what about Deputy Doofy over there?
698
00:31:45,976 --> 00:31:46,935
I don't have a motive.
699
00:31:47,377 --> 00:31:48,100
Yeah, what's my motive?
700
00:31:48,541 --> 00:31:50,362
You were the killer in the first movie.
701
00:31:51,043 --> 00:31:52,103
Shouldn't you be locked up?
702
00:31:52,183 --> 00:31:53,648
No, I got pardoned.
703
00:31:53,687 --> 00:31:56,792
Mostly because of the storming the Capitol, you know.
704
00:31:57,031 --> 00:31:57,231
Oh.
705
00:31:57,511 --> 00:31:58,132
I got proof.
706
00:31:58,815 --> 00:31:59,356
It's me.
707
00:31:59,795 --> 00:32:00,797
And it's framed.
708
00:32:01,198 --> 00:32:01,959
That's a cool hit.
709
00:32:02,238 --> 00:32:04,364
What about Jess?
710
00:32:05,164 --> 00:32:05,804
What about me?
711
00:32:05,985 --> 00:32:08,830
If anybody here has issues that could lead to murder.
712
00:32:09,150 --> 00:32:10,071
Okay, okay.
713
00:32:10,211 --> 00:32:12,274
Trans shaming is not cool, okay?
714
00:32:12,634 --> 00:32:13,818
Then he's just a dude.
715
00:32:13,918 --> 00:32:14,097
Yeah.
716
00:32:14,238 --> 00:32:17,301
Finest stuff for body strength and the dick part.
717
00:32:17,561 --> 00:32:19,486
Hey, you don't know what I got down here, okay?
718
00:32:19,807 --> 00:32:20,406
I do.
719
00:32:21,428 --> 00:32:27,736
Listen, what we know so far is everyone who's been attacked is related to the original characters.
720
00:32:27,736 --> 00:32:29,180
He wants to kill the kid.
721
00:32:30,101 --> 00:32:32,344
He's making a reboot, a quote.
722
00:32:33,304 --> 00:32:33,947
A what now?
723
00:32:34,027 --> 00:32:35,849
Yeah, it's like a reboot and a sequel.
724
00:32:36,189 --> 00:32:41,493
Mixes legacy characters with new characters in an attempt to feed into bullshit nostalgia,
725
00:32:41,493 --> 00:32:42,998
and bring more fans to the theaters.
726
00:32:43,098 --> 00:32:44,983
Just like last year's I Know What You Did Last Summer.
727
00:32:47,476 --> 00:32:48,035
That's a movie?
728
00:32:48,336 --> 00:32:49,540
What did I do last summer?
729
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,063
I think you're talking about the summer I turned pretty.
730
00:32:52,202 --> 00:32:52,403
Yeah.
731
00:32:52,563 --> 00:32:54,307
Ray, when did you get here?
732
00:32:54,588 --> 00:32:55,148
I walked in here.
733
00:32:55,208 --> 00:32:56,329
I was just hanging out by the men's room.
734
00:32:57,430 --> 00:32:57,711
Oh.
735
00:32:58,011 --> 00:32:58,331
Mom?
736
00:32:58,892 --> 00:33:03,719
Okay, so that means that our killer is writing his own version of horror movie.
737
00:33:04,019 --> 00:33:08,285
Okay, so according to the reboot he called Rooms, who's the killer?
738
00:33:09,650 --> 00:33:11,451
I think it's pretty obvious.
739
00:33:14,516 --> 00:33:15,097
Who?
740
00:33:15,838 --> 00:33:16,799
You, bitch.
741
00:33:17,099 --> 00:33:17,460
Me?
742
00:33:18,021 --> 00:33:19,604
Guys, I am not the killer.
743
00:33:19,945 --> 00:33:22,608
Ghostface attacked Tuesday to lure me back here.
744
00:33:22,848 --> 00:33:28,075
I think he attacked Tuesday to get you back here so he could get me back here.
745
00:33:28,516 --> 00:33:30,379
He wants to kill the OGs.
746
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:31,721
That was a flex.
747
00:33:31,981 --> 00:33:32,922
Yeah, that sounds weird.
748
00:33:33,163 --> 00:33:34,704
Oh, fuck it!
749
00:33:34,987 --> 00:33:36,708
And fuck you, mother!
750
00:33:37,429 --> 00:33:38,930
Dude, you're the mother?
751
00:33:38,990 --> 00:33:39,512
Hey!
752
00:33:39,811 --> 00:33:41,375
Don't be so disrespectful!
753
00:33:42,817 --> 00:33:44,078
And call me mom!
754
00:33:44,459 --> 00:33:45,081
Or mommy!
755
00:33:45,562 --> 00:33:46,903
Or whatever's more comfortable!
756
00:34:05,189 --> 00:34:06,072
Oh, God.
757
00:34:07,854 --> 00:34:08,775
Talk to me!
758
00:34:08,996 --> 00:34:10,316
Hello, Sheriff.
759
00:34:11,079 --> 00:34:11,920
Agent Underwood?
760
00:34:12,481 --> 00:34:13,803
I'll give you one hint.
761
00:34:14,422 --> 00:34:16,167
What's your favorite scary movie?
762
00:34:16,767 --> 00:34:18,470
Well, I'm gonna go with Saltburn.
763
00:34:18,990 --> 00:34:21,455
I mean, the member on that English guy was terrifying.
764
00:34:21,974 --> 00:34:26,242
And Ken Jeong's junk in The Hangover was a much better depiction of the male anatomy.
765
00:34:27,102 --> 00:34:28,384
Now, what do you want, fuckface?
766
00:34:28,625 --> 00:34:33,632
Well, I'm just calling to tell you that by the time you get home, I'll have gutted your baby girl.
767
00:34:34,613 --> 00:34:35,754
Hey, asshole.
768
00:34:36,157 --> 00:34:37,257
She's a boy!
769
00:35:02,205 --> 00:35:04,307
Looking for this?
770
00:35:05,628 --> 00:35:06,772
Let me help you.
771
00:35:07,731 --> 00:35:09,935
I got your baby dick!
772
00:35:09,935 --> 00:35:11,759
Winky, winky, winky, winky.
773
00:35:20,589 --> 00:35:21,794
All right.
774
00:35:21,954 --> 00:35:22,854
Here we go.
775
00:35:23,575 --> 00:35:24,857
What do you want, fuckface?
776
00:35:25,498 --> 00:35:28,422
Like father, like son.
777
00:35:29,404 --> 00:35:31,586
I understand you're all about that.
778
00:35:31,808 --> 00:35:37,717
Well, dad's out, but the cool guy, the gardener, and the plumber are all here, asshole.
779
00:35:38,397 --> 00:35:39,378
Look out your window.
780
00:35:44,486 --> 00:35:47,472
No, but they're the backbone of the American workforce.
781
00:35:48,392 --> 00:35:49,974
I'm not too white to do those jobs.
782
00:35:50,435 --> 00:35:51,676
Let's cut to the chase.
783
00:35:52,138 --> 00:35:53,719
I'll ask you one question.
784
00:35:54,420 --> 00:35:56,743
If you answer correctly, you live.
785
00:35:57,466 --> 00:36:00,710
Who was the killer in horror movie?
786
00:36:01,229 --> 00:36:02,393
Oh, that was easy.
787
00:36:02,594 --> 00:36:07,441
It was Bobby and then K-Ray, the guy who was totally into dudes, even though he claimed he wasn't.
788
00:36:07,701 --> 00:36:09,323
Classic 2000s homophobia.
789
00:36:09,983 --> 00:36:11,105
But I got you, bitch.
790
00:36:11,105 --> 00:36:11,966
Wrong.
791
00:36:12,306 --> 00:36:14,290
You forgot Special Officer Doofy.
792
00:36:14,670 --> 00:36:16,193
Now, you die.
793
00:36:24,826 --> 00:36:26,348
Oh, fuck that!
794
00:36:28,271 --> 00:36:30,614
You should probably answer that.
795
00:36:30,814 --> 00:36:33,779
I can literally see you trying to steal my package.
796
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,162
Oh, shit.
797
00:36:36,882 --> 00:36:38,546
That was easy.
798
00:36:41,610 --> 00:36:44,035
Uh, someone wore snakes.
799
00:36:44,373 --> 00:36:44,855
Let's go, Puff.
800
00:36:48,070 --> 00:36:48,831
Wait a sec.
801
00:36:49,152 --> 00:36:49,511
Careful.
802
00:36:49,972 --> 00:36:51,214
Nobody's talking about any killer.
803
00:36:52,475 --> 00:36:56,261
You are not allowed to identify as gay.
804
00:36:58,185 --> 00:36:59,006
I look...
805
00:37:00,567 --> 00:37:01,249
You...
806
00:37:01,249 --> 00:37:02,129
...stare like...
807
00:37:02,610 --> 00:37:03,714
...a girl.
808
00:37:11,214 --> 00:37:12,654
Come on, girls.
809
00:37:12,855 --> 00:37:16,681
Our new play shows will have a ghost-faced camera collection bundle.
810
00:37:16,681 --> 00:37:19,246
This is Kiki West for OnlyFans Rapid News.
811
00:37:19,346 --> 00:37:19,926
Rapid News?
812
00:37:20,026 --> 00:37:21,068
You mean Baffet News.
813
00:37:21,268 --> 00:37:22,509
You don't even have a cameraman.
814
00:37:25,575 --> 00:37:26,616
Excuse me.
815
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:29,802
Oh, my.
816
00:37:30,181 --> 00:37:30,702
You're...
817
00:37:30,702 --> 00:37:31,403
Yes, yes.
818
00:37:31,744 --> 00:37:35,990
Three-time Emmy nominee for Outstanding Achievement in Sensational Reporting.
819
00:37:36,130 --> 00:37:40,396
I was gonna say the lady from Friends, but shorter, because Botox.
820
00:37:40,596 --> 00:37:42,600
Oh, is that what you were gonna say?
821
00:37:43,019 --> 00:37:44,944
You seriously don't know who I am?
822
00:37:45,224 --> 00:37:46,345
Baby girl, I am...
823
00:37:46,345 --> 00:37:47,106
Gayle Swallows.
824
00:37:48,588 --> 00:37:49,331
Gayle Stork.
825
00:37:49,451 --> 00:37:49,811
Gayle, here.
826
00:37:50,112 --> 00:37:51,272
Get the hell out of my way.
827
00:37:56,780 --> 00:37:57,261
Doofus.
828
00:37:57,802 --> 00:37:59,345
Hey, Gayle.
829
00:38:01,247 --> 00:38:02,689
You have an age to death.
830
00:38:03,369 --> 00:38:04,593
You better fucking believe me.
831
00:38:04,713 --> 00:38:05,733
That's just my requirement.
832
00:38:05,753 --> 00:38:07,056
Yeah, your fingers felt like genitals.
833
00:38:07,256 --> 00:38:09,380
What are you doing in that ridiculous uniform?
834
00:38:09,900 --> 00:38:11,642
Oh, I'm back on the case.
835
00:38:12,123 --> 00:38:13,464
Yeah, I'm gonna bust Gayle's face.
836
00:38:13,824 --> 00:38:15,108
Well, um...
837
00:38:15,108 --> 00:38:17,391
Tell me, Special Needs Officer Doofy.
838
00:38:17,971 --> 00:38:18,451
Um...
839
00:38:19,372 --> 00:38:23,699
Are there any suspects in this tragic yet completely predictable incident?
840
00:38:23,839 --> 00:38:25,263
I do not know what to say.
841
00:38:25,523 --> 00:38:27,045
No, no, I don't know.
842
00:38:27,285 --> 00:38:28,046
Yes, you can.
843
00:38:28,146 --> 00:38:28,906
I do not...
844
00:38:28,906 --> 00:38:29,427
Yeah, um...
845
00:38:30,030 --> 00:38:30,811
Tell me what you want.
846
00:38:31,090 --> 00:38:32,353
I don't want to die here.
847
00:38:32,453 --> 00:38:32,693
Waffle.
848
00:38:34,355 --> 00:38:38,462
Hey, remember when you used to give blowjobs to presentative information?
849
00:38:39,122 --> 00:38:41,285
I don't give blowjobs anymore, okay?
850
00:38:41,406 --> 00:38:42,307
Not since Me Too.
851
00:38:42,548 --> 00:38:43,629
Okay, sorry.
852
00:38:44,129 --> 00:38:46,433
I give handjobs now, but the story better be good.
853
00:38:46,653 --> 00:38:47,615
Okay, I'll give you a handjob.
854
00:38:47,675 --> 00:38:48,115
Let's do it.
855
00:38:48,216 --> 00:38:48,796
Let's do it.
856
00:39:00,355 --> 00:39:01,036
What the?
857
00:39:10,087 --> 00:39:11,211
I'm gonna get you.
858
00:39:11,390 --> 00:39:11,889
I'll come right back.
859
00:39:11,971 --> 00:39:12,432
I'm gonna get you.
860
00:39:12,492 --> 00:39:12,691
Where?
861
00:39:12,912 --> 00:39:14,373
You got my outfit, you little critter.
862
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:19,581
Ain't it mean to be little?
863
00:39:22,727 --> 00:39:24,008
Fuck yeah, shit.
864
00:39:34,645 --> 00:39:36,017
Hello, Shorty.
865
00:39:36,879 --> 00:39:39,542
You do know that smoking is bad for you.
866
00:39:40,181 --> 00:39:41,745
Actually, weed ain't bad for you.
867
00:39:42,246 --> 00:39:44,288
You got vitamin T, C, and H.
868
00:39:44,828 --> 00:39:46,292
C, B, and D.
869
00:39:47,033 --> 00:39:48,194
What's the matter, Shorty?
870
00:39:48,575 --> 00:39:50,857
You look a little antsy.
871
00:39:50,857 --> 00:39:56,247
Maybe because there's a masked serial killer sipping tea in my den.
872
00:39:56,628 --> 00:39:57,728
Shorty, you're my nigga.
873
00:39:58,169 --> 00:39:59,110
I mean friend.
874
00:39:59,390 --> 00:40:00,351
Please, sing.
875
00:40:00,652 --> 00:40:01,112
All right.
876
00:40:04,929 --> 00:40:06,412
Do you want to quit smoking?
877
00:40:07,052 --> 00:40:12,300
Well, to be honest, I tried to quit, but my mother said I ain't raising no quitters.
878
00:40:13,161 --> 00:40:14,182
So I quit quitting.
879
00:40:14,462 --> 00:40:15,723
We can try it now, sis.
880
00:40:16,304 --> 00:40:20,490
Bro, I don't care how many pocket watches you try and wave in front of my face.
881
00:40:20,791 --> 00:40:21,935
It ain't gonna work, son.
882
00:40:21,935 --> 00:40:23,976
You can't magnetize me.
883
00:40:24,217 --> 00:40:24,737
Sleep.
884
00:40:28,664 --> 00:40:29,184
Shorty.
885
00:40:31,709 --> 00:40:32,410
What's up?
886
00:40:33,030 --> 00:40:35,474
Tell me about your mother.
887
00:40:36,937 --> 00:40:37,577
Damn, nigga.
888
00:40:38,098 --> 00:40:40,980
Let's start with something light, like do you lick ass?
889
00:40:41,141 --> 00:40:41,661
Yes or no?
890
00:40:42,165 --> 00:40:42,986
The answer's yes.
891
00:40:43,866 --> 00:40:46,469
So what happened to her, Shorty?
892
00:40:49,313 --> 00:40:50,235
She's coming home.
893
00:40:51,916 --> 00:40:53,640
Her car was parked to the side of the road.
894
00:40:54,642 --> 00:40:55,804
Someone was in it.
895
00:40:57,327 --> 00:40:58,508
And something bad was happening.
896
00:41:02,685 --> 00:41:04,326
Why did you call anyone?
897
00:41:04,907 --> 00:41:07,048
I had warrants.
898
00:41:07,431 --> 00:41:08,313
You were 11?
899
00:41:09,033 --> 00:41:10,275
I started young, nigga.
900
00:41:12,156 --> 00:41:14,381
What do you see?
901
00:41:18,508 --> 00:41:21,871
I see a big explosion of water.
902
00:41:23,895 --> 00:41:25,618
It looks like a civil rights hoax.
903
00:41:29,864 --> 00:41:31,645
Police said it was a murder-suicide.
904
00:41:33,109 --> 00:41:34,410
She killed that man.
905
00:41:34,871 --> 00:41:38,157
When they opened the car door, his limp body just slid out.
906
00:41:41,850 --> 00:41:43,955
Like the green nigga in shape of water.
907
00:41:45,036 --> 00:41:46,598
I just didn't want it to be real.
908
00:41:46,798 --> 00:41:48,502
What don't you want to be real?
909
00:41:49,923 --> 00:41:51,545
That my mother was a squirter.
910
00:41:52,426 --> 00:41:54,330
Okay, she was a squirter.
911
00:41:54,730 --> 00:41:56,852
All the floors in her bedroom was warped.
912
00:41:57,313 --> 00:41:58,276
I can't move.
913
00:41:58,857 --> 00:41:59,697
You're paralyzed.
914
00:42:00,999 --> 00:42:01,881
Now...
915
00:42:02,581 --> 00:42:04,325
Sink into the chair.
916
00:42:04,585 --> 00:42:05,226
What the- Wait!
917
00:42:05,465 --> 00:42:05,906
Sink!
918
00:42:11,804 --> 00:42:16,185
Idiot !
919
00:42:22,904 --> 00:42:28,286
I went into the wrong hole again!
920
00:42:28,991 --> 00:42:31,994
No! You're in a clay pot hole.
921
00:42:45,795 --> 00:42:47,417
Whoa, shit, girl!
922
00:43:02,346 --> 00:43:03,600
You're about to be sprayed.
923
00:43:43,449 --> 00:43:44,581
That dream was wild.
924
00:43:44,581 --> 00:43:46,624
That must have been Elon Musk.
925
00:43:52,573 --> 00:43:54,074
Oh, shit ! son !
926
00:44:02,116 --> 00:44:04,389
Thursday?
927
00:44:08,076 --> 00:44:08,857
Bobby?
928
00:44:11,472 --> 00:44:16,749
Bobby, what the- She's gonna die.
929
00:44:16,749 --> 00:44:17,990
Our daughter, Sarah?
930
00:44:18,311 --> 00:44:19,612
You're probably right.
931
00:44:19,772 --> 00:44:22,437
She's tough, but let's see her get stabbed in the cut.
932
00:44:22,718 --> 00:44:23,939
I'm gonna die.
933
00:44:24,359 --> 00:44:25,883
Bobby, you're already dead.
934
00:44:26,704 --> 00:44:30,288
This hallucination is a manifestation of my own guilt for being an awful mom.
935
00:44:30,650 --> 00:44:32,652
Or it could be the shrooms I just popped.
936
00:44:34,214 --> 00:44:35,595
You're gonna die!
937
00:44:36,259 --> 00:44:38,681
Bitch, you ain't killing me.
938
00:44:44,768 --> 00:44:46,033
You're gonna die.
939
00:44:48,214 --> 00:44:49,256
Stop smiling!
940
00:44:49,657 --> 00:44:50,257
I can't.
941
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:51,600
Buttocks.
942
00:44:51,801 --> 00:44:52,162
Hey!
943
00:44:53,142 --> 00:44:55,023
This is the mental ward.
944
00:44:55,525 --> 00:44:56,708
Everyone smiles in here.
945
00:44:57,989 --> 00:45:02,257
Oh, um, could you point me in the direction of the ICU?
946
00:45:02,756 --> 00:45:04,058
Is it that way or that way?
947
00:45:04,579 --> 00:45:05,820
Uh, visiting hours are over.
948
00:45:06,140 --> 00:45:07,083
Oh, yes, of course.
949
00:45:09,066 --> 00:45:13,492
The network wants me to clarify that Black Friday has nothing to do with race.
950
00:45:13,492 --> 00:45:15,962
Well, just tell that to my Black friend, Benita,
951
00:45:15,962 --> 00:45:19,334
who's probably clocking someone over there in the store as we speak.
952
00:45:19,533 --> 00:45:20,142
Right, Benita?
953
00:45:36,385 --> 00:45:39,189
Man, you ain't Micah.
954
00:45:39,651 --> 00:45:41,031
Micah got that Jerry curl.
955
00:45:41,473 --> 00:45:42,356
What is that, son?
956
00:45:42,656 --> 00:45:43,456
Is that Gillette?
957
00:45:43,456 --> 00:45:46,699
See, people think it's Gillette, but it's actually Sharpie.
958
00:45:46,820 --> 00:45:48,284
Boy, your hair look like fondue.
959
00:45:48,543 --> 00:45:49,164
It's dirty.
960
00:45:49,565 --> 00:45:50,406
Micah's got a monkey.
961
00:45:50,746 --> 00:45:51,547
I got a llama.
962
00:45:53,291 --> 00:45:54,251
Fuck, Micah.
963
00:45:54,392 --> 00:45:56,013
You can't dance, boy.
964
00:45:56,274 --> 00:45:56,955
I'll be practicing.
965
00:46:04,307 --> 00:46:05,949
I can moonwalk.
966
00:46:08,973 --> 00:46:10,676
And is this Ninadaba?
967
00:46:13,501 --> 00:46:13,880
Ow.
968
00:46:16,024 --> 00:46:16,945
Jermaine.
969
00:46:19,349 --> 00:46:21,192
Coming Juneteenth.
970
00:46:21,611 --> 00:46:22,855
Only on Tubi.
971
00:46:25,958 --> 00:46:27,419
I'm a bootleg, that shit.
972
00:46:29,724 --> 00:46:30,185
Hello?
973
00:46:32,287 --> 00:46:33,090
Fuck this.
974
00:46:38,298 --> 00:46:39,418
I'm gonna miss you all.
975
00:46:39,418 --> 00:46:46,609
Oh, hell no.
976
00:47:01,050 --> 00:47:03,835
Jack, did Sarah tell you to come?
977
00:47:04,136 --> 00:47:04,976
Oh, yeah.
978
00:47:05,837 --> 00:47:06,839
That's why I'm here.
979
00:47:07,358 --> 00:47:10,384
Not to murder you or anything like that.
980
00:47:10,503 --> 00:47:11,525
Then why are you wearing gloves?
981
00:47:12,867 --> 00:47:18,034
Would you believe I am thinking about dressing up as OJ Simpson for Halloween?
982
00:47:18,477 --> 00:47:19,097
But those fit.
983
00:47:19,097 --> 00:47:21,059
Look out!
984
00:47:22,101 --> 00:47:22,781
Yeah, cool, bro.
985
00:47:22,841 --> 00:47:23,845
You almost did a fade.
986
00:47:24,165 --> 00:47:25,266
I mean, no.
987
00:47:25,586 --> 00:47:25,946
Bitch.
988
00:47:41,829 --> 00:47:44,414
I'm gonna gut you like a pig.
989
00:47:49,142 --> 00:47:49,561
God.
990
00:47:54,890 --> 00:47:57,734
That is so true.
991
00:48:08,038 --> 00:48:11,804
Wait until I stick my knife in them.
992
00:48:18,412 --> 00:48:20,277
I'm crying over here.
993
00:48:20,877 --> 00:48:22,019
I gotta go.
994
00:48:22,179 --> 00:48:22,700
Be brave.
995
00:48:23,201 --> 00:48:23,540
I'm gonna kill me.
996
00:48:23,620 --> 00:48:24,261
Be yourself.
997
00:48:24,624 --> 00:48:25,244
I gotta go.
998
00:48:25,244 --> 00:48:26,826
I'm gonna get my purse.
999
00:48:28,828 --> 00:48:30,171
Oh, oh shit.
1000
00:48:30,512 --> 00:48:31,714
You're really gonna kill me.
1001
00:48:52,975 --> 00:48:54,255
No one was there, huh?
1002
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:58,962
I'm gonna turn you into bacon.
1003
00:49:12,874 --> 00:49:13,194
Excuse me.
1004
00:49:13,454 --> 00:49:14,016
I'm a ranger.
1005
00:49:14,475 --> 00:49:15,216
Step aside.
1006
00:49:15,519 --> 00:49:19,663
Do you feel like doing it?
1007
00:49:20,446 --> 00:49:21,026
Move.
1008
00:49:22,508 --> 00:49:24,110
Sorry, son of a bitch.
1009
00:49:25,391 --> 00:49:26,014
What the?
1010
00:49:26,174 --> 00:49:29,637
My psycho mother said always keep a strip.
1011
00:49:31,382 --> 00:49:31,962
Go.
1012
00:49:31,962 --> 00:49:32,442
You!
1013
00:49:32,763 --> 00:49:34,145
Let go of me, you mother...
1014
00:49:34,145 --> 00:49:35,106
I'll take you home with me.
1015
00:49:35,266 --> 00:49:35,788
Ow!
1016
00:49:36,329 --> 00:49:37,390
The pain!
1017
00:49:37,871 --> 00:49:38,532
The agony!
1018
00:49:39,112 --> 00:49:41,476
Sarah, if I don't make it...
1019
00:49:41,476 --> 00:49:43,840
Seriously, can you stop trying to win an Oscar?
1020
00:49:43,979 --> 00:49:45,781
It's a horror movie, it'll never happen!
1021
00:49:46,424 --> 00:49:47,565
Ask Demi Moore.
1022
00:49:48,727 --> 00:49:48,986
No!
1023
00:49:49,387 --> 00:49:49,528
No!
1024
00:49:49,907 --> 00:49:50,208
No!
1025
00:49:55,795 --> 00:49:57,020
What the fuck?
1026
00:49:57,739 --> 00:49:59,803
Let me see it all by myself.
1027
00:50:01,907 --> 00:50:03,148
Me and you now, ghosty.
1028
00:50:03,909 --> 00:50:04,170
Who?
1029
00:50:05,771 --> 00:50:07,315
And that's you and me.
1030
00:50:07,914 --> 00:50:09,157
You and me.
1031
00:50:16,448 --> 00:50:17,129
Die.
1032
00:50:19,611 --> 00:50:20,292
Die.
1033
00:50:21,133 --> 00:50:21,576
Die.
1034
00:50:21,576 --> 00:50:25,980
I smell my finger.
1035
00:50:27,324 --> 00:50:30,167
What the fuck was that?
1036
00:50:30,747 --> 00:50:32,912
My ass.
1037
00:50:33,191 --> 00:50:35,215
Fuck your ass, horse.
1038
00:50:37,619 --> 00:50:39,261
That's my ass.
1039
00:50:39,621 --> 00:50:41,482
Any last words?
1040
00:50:42,446 --> 00:50:44,008
I go poopy.
1041
00:50:47,894 --> 00:50:50,036
Oh, hell no.
1042
00:50:50,257 --> 00:50:51,677
I ain't cleaning up that shit.
1043
00:50:52,241 --> 00:50:53,122
I'm on break.
1044
00:50:53,342 --> 00:50:53,942
Come on.
1045
00:50:54,183 --> 00:50:55,824
I ain't killing nothing here.
1046
00:50:56,686 --> 00:50:57,409
What'd you say?
1047
00:50:59,271 --> 00:51:00,652
Yo, what's up, chat?
1048
00:51:00,852 --> 00:51:01,852
It's your boy, Shorty.
1049
00:51:01,892 --> 00:51:02,255
That's right.
1050
00:51:02,356 --> 00:51:03,616
It's another Halloween-a-thon.
1051
00:51:03,937 --> 00:51:09,245
And that's another day of me getting paid mad money for doing absolutely nothing.
1052
00:51:09,545 --> 00:51:11,286
Why you stupid motherfucking watchers?
1053
00:51:12,168 --> 00:51:13,292
Hey, they call me dumb.
1054
00:51:13,612 --> 00:51:15,935
I want to give a smooth shout-out to my sponsor.
1055
00:51:17,377 --> 00:51:19,600
Angry Orchard Hard Silo.
1056
00:51:21,062 --> 00:51:23,025
They got mad apples, huh?
1057
00:51:25,188 --> 00:51:25,509
No!
1058
00:51:26,589 --> 00:51:27,190
Please!
1059
00:51:27,853 --> 00:51:29,414
We're marketing genius.
1060
00:51:29,715 --> 00:51:32,760
It won't be a Halloween-a-thon without an adult guest.
1061
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:34,241
He's a legend in the streaming game.
1062
00:51:34,361 --> 00:51:37,004
Give it up for Kyle Smith!
1063
00:51:46,048 --> 00:51:47,149
Let's get serious.
1064
00:51:47,350 --> 00:51:48,313
What brings you here, chat?
1065
00:51:49,333 --> 00:51:50,856
You dropped something on me in the movie.
1066
00:51:51,457 --> 00:51:52,157
I've been calling you.
1067
00:51:52,237 --> 00:51:52,960
You ghosted me.
1068
00:51:53,841 --> 00:51:57,144
Bro, I thought that was one of my crazy-ass baby mamas.
1069
00:51:57,384 --> 00:51:58,468
That's my bad.
1070
00:51:58,589 --> 00:52:02,191
Speaking of ghosting, somebody will start here.
1071
00:52:03,415 --> 00:52:03,695
Hello?
1072
00:52:04,076 --> 00:52:06,139
What's your favorite scary movie?
1073
00:52:19,439 --> 00:52:20,940
We're breaking in in there, son!
1074
00:52:21,461 --> 00:52:22,361
What's up, my guy?
1075
00:52:22,561 --> 00:52:24,246
Got some Angry Orchard Hard Silo.
1076
00:52:24,266 --> 00:52:26,849
They got mad apples.
1077
00:52:27,369 --> 00:52:27,869
Oh!
1078
00:52:30,033 --> 00:52:36,323
I'm about to do my favorite thing.
1079
00:52:37,244 --> 00:52:39,228
Spin the wheel!
1080
00:52:40,589 --> 00:52:41,671
Here we go again!
1081
00:52:42,551 --> 00:52:46,357
We gonna go back there with these noodles, and we gonna smack the fuck out you!
1082
00:52:46,357 --> 00:52:47,699
Come here, you gotta guess who did it.
1083
00:52:47,778 --> 00:52:49,042
That doesn't even make sense.
1084
00:52:49,623 --> 00:52:50,884
This is a dumb game.
1085
00:52:55,390 --> 00:52:56,933
God damn it!
1086
00:53:08,389 --> 00:53:12,395
You just killed Kassanet on the chair.
1087
00:53:13,937 --> 00:53:15,501
We're making history, son!
1088
00:53:16,462 --> 00:53:17,804
Money, money, money!
1089
00:53:37,863 --> 00:53:38,623
I know.
1090
00:53:43,111 --> 00:53:44,894
It's about time you guys got here.
1091
00:53:46,395 --> 00:53:47,317
Now you're gonna get it.
1092
00:53:52,886 --> 00:53:54,326
So that's our suspect.
1093
00:53:54,887 --> 00:53:56,590
Goes by the name, Shorthand.
1094
00:53:57,112 --> 00:54:01,018
Was the handyman that House reputed to be haunted in 2001.
1095
00:54:02,659 --> 00:54:03,901
Is there anything you're not telling me?
1096
00:54:04,341 --> 00:54:05,465
That your wife hates you.
1097
00:54:06,106 --> 00:54:07,707
You believe that Earth is flat.
1098
00:54:07,988 --> 00:54:09,008
And you voted for Trump.
1099
00:54:09,849 --> 00:54:10,432
Great times.
1100
00:54:10,532 --> 00:54:12,093
No words possible for the woman.
1101
00:54:13,756 --> 00:54:17,141
I believe Shorthand is the notorious Ghostface.
1102
00:54:19,183 --> 00:54:20,085
What that mouth do?
1103
00:54:21,548 --> 00:54:22,549
Just enough.
1104
00:54:23,290 --> 00:54:24,871
You did look pretty sketchy.
1105
00:54:28,498 --> 00:54:29,999
I got the wrong guy.
1106
00:54:30,942 --> 00:54:32,383
And you know that because you're sick?
1107
00:54:32,863 --> 00:54:33,204
No.
1108
00:54:33,745 --> 00:54:34,946
Says so on the arrest warrant.
1109
00:54:36,831 --> 00:54:37,891
I don't know.
1110
00:54:38,812 --> 00:54:39,693
That guy's black.
1111
00:54:40,053 --> 00:54:41,198
He's kinda...
1112
00:54:41,198 --> 00:54:42,058
not that black.
1113
00:54:42,678 --> 00:54:44,000
Like Gravy Brown.
1114
00:54:47,185 --> 00:54:48,987
Hit him with your strong hand.
1115
00:54:50,951 --> 00:54:51,833
Arrest him anyways.
1116
00:54:54,255 --> 00:54:56,159
Turn off your body cams!
1117
00:54:58,241 --> 00:54:59,122
Welcome back.
1118
00:54:59,302 --> 00:55:00,724
Doc, I'm begging you.
1119
00:55:00,924 --> 00:55:02,168
You gotta help me look younger.
1120
00:55:02,408 --> 00:55:03,950
These little bitches are killing me out there.
1121
00:55:04,050 --> 00:55:06,854
They're wearing nothing but a sausage casing and a ring light.
1122
00:55:07,055 --> 00:55:11,702
Trust me with this withered, decrepit, age-ravaged body.
1123
00:55:12,223 --> 00:55:13,444
And I will make you whole.
1124
00:55:14,065 --> 00:55:15,987
Well, you know there's a White Lady special coming right up.
1125
00:55:16,186 --> 00:55:16,609
Thanks.
1126
00:55:16,909 --> 00:55:19,353
I'm gonna play a quick video on the ins and outs of the procedure.
1127
00:55:19,353 --> 00:55:20,693
And then we'll get started.
1128
00:55:24,069 --> 00:55:27,054
Do you wish you weren't so old and saggy?
1129
00:55:28,135 --> 00:55:29,337
Do you wish you were younger?
1130
00:55:30,318 --> 00:55:30,838
Sexier?
1131
00:55:31,499 --> 00:55:32,222
Fuckable again?
1132
00:55:32,982 --> 00:55:34,304
One single injection.
1133
00:55:34,724 --> 00:55:35,986
Unlocks your DNA.
1134
00:55:36,307 --> 00:55:38,230
Creating a new, better you.
1135
00:55:39,952 --> 00:55:40,553
This...
1136
00:55:40,553 --> 00:55:41,916
Is the stuff.
1137
00:55:43,457 --> 00:55:47,184
Doc, this isn't that When it Pouch Throw crap that makes you smell like a vag.
1138
00:55:47,245 --> 00:55:47,604
Is it?
1139
00:55:51,648 --> 00:55:52,963
I like it.
1140
00:55:55,676 --> 00:55:56,416
Oh!
1141
00:55:57,759 --> 00:55:58,499
Oh!
1142
00:56:08,875 --> 00:56:10,617
Wow, that's a lot of stuff.
1143
00:56:12,301 --> 00:56:13,842
Ooh, a mask on a mask.
1144
00:56:14,743 --> 00:56:16,046
Safety first, thank God.
1145
00:56:16,906 --> 00:56:17,589
Oh!
1146
00:56:17,589 --> 00:56:17,709
Oh!
1147
00:56:17,830 --> 00:56:19,690
Oh, no!
1148
00:56:21,372 --> 00:56:23,197
I'm not his second son!
1149
00:56:23,397 --> 00:56:25,820
I'm gonna love him and accept myself as I am!
1150
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:27,161
Ah!
1151
00:56:29,305 --> 00:56:30,447
Fuck you.
1152
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:29,224
Oops.
1153
00:57:29,224 --> 00:57:30,405
Wrong movie.
1154
00:57:32,367 --> 00:57:34,092
You were thinking it.
1155
00:57:34,132 --> 00:57:34,833
What are you saying?
1156
00:57:36,474 --> 00:57:38,415
White chicks to my ass.
1157
00:57:46,609 --> 00:57:47,849
Hey, Sarah.
1158
00:57:49,413 --> 00:57:50,214
Tuesday.
1159
00:57:50,574 --> 00:57:52,757
I tried to visit you.
1160
00:57:53,077 --> 00:57:55,142
I am sorry for everything.
1161
00:57:55,802 --> 00:57:57,104
Especially your name.
1162
00:57:57,685 --> 00:57:58,885
It was Taco Tuesday.
1163
00:57:58,885 --> 00:58:00,190
I was super drunk.
1164
00:58:00,309 --> 00:58:03,071
But I promise you I will kill this motherfucker.
1165
00:58:03,693 --> 00:58:04,053
It's fine.
1166
00:58:04,175 --> 00:58:06,117
I'm going to take you to the car.
1167
00:58:06,598 --> 00:58:08,680
I'm going to take you to the car.
1168
00:58:08,801 --> 00:58:09,140
Oh, I got you.
1169
00:58:10,544 --> 00:58:13,527
I'm taking Tues away from all of this.
1170
00:58:14,851 --> 00:58:15,731
I'm taking Tues away from all of this.
1171
00:58:16,672 --> 00:58:17,915
I tried to run too.
1172
00:58:17,915 --> 00:58:18,274
I tried to run too.
1173
00:58:18,474 --> 00:58:20,399
But it follows.
1174
00:58:21,340 --> 00:58:24,043
Now you're probably expecting a flashback to that movie.
1175
00:58:24,142 --> 00:58:25,306
But it's too obscure.
1176
00:58:25,467 --> 00:58:26,327
Yeah, and a probably.
1177
00:58:26,327 --> 00:58:31,154
Do you have sex with someone, give them an STD, and then they haunt them in the form of their naked grandma?
1178
00:58:31,314 --> 00:58:32,836
It's like an STD biopic.
1179
00:58:33,097 --> 00:58:34,881
The killer is taunting me.
1180
00:58:35,101 --> 00:58:36,422
Why doesn't he just kill us?
1181
00:58:36,783 --> 00:58:37,743
Uh, speak for yourself.
1182
00:58:38,204 --> 00:58:39,505
Like, what are you waiting for?
1183
00:58:39,808 --> 00:58:41,069
Oh, no, no, no, sweetie.
1184
00:58:41,228 --> 00:58:42,310
Sweetie, it's like this.
1185
00:58:44,072 --> 00:58:46,476
What are you waiting for, huh?
1186
00:58:55,451 --> 00:58:57,072
I wish you weren't my mother.
1187
00:58:57,072 --> 00:58:58,675
What are you waiting for?
1188
00:58:59,635 --> 00:59:00,338
Wait, honey.
1189
00:59:06,766 --> 00:59:07,567
You sure about this?
1190
00:59:07,788 --> 00:59:08,169
Yeah.
1191
00:59:08,789 --> 00:59:09,690
Keep saying it.
1192
00:59:31,584 --> 00:59:32,804
So, what's up?
1193
00:59:32,844 --> 00:59:33,966
You got that Candyman?
1194
00:59:34,867 --> 00:59:37,171
I got weed gummies.
1195
00:59:37,752 --> 00:59:38,233
Candies.
1196
00:59:38,313 --> 00:59:38,533
Yeah.
1197
00:59:39,114 --> 00:59:39,693
Shroom Chops.
1198
00:59:39,894 --> 00:59:40,375
Awesome.
1199
00:59:40,817 --> 00:59:42,840
And what takes you so long to show up?
1200
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:43,901
Come on, Clarence.
1201
00:59:43,981 --> 00:59:46,105
I called you five times, nigga.
1202
00:59:46,325 --> 00:59:47,306
Show up in three.
1203
00:59:47,466 --> 00:59:49,108
You ain't even call me on the phone.
1204
00:59:49,708 --> 00:59:52,714
Luckily, I was walking by and heard y'all through the hole in this wall.
1205
00:59:53,035 --> 00:59:53,836
Fix that shit.
1206
00:59:53,975 --> 00:59:55,096
You shut your ass up.
1207
00:59:55,437 --> 00:59:58,643
You need to go to a proctologist and get your skin looked at.
1208
00:59:58,783 --> 01:00:01,748
Having acne over the age of 40 is wild work.
1209
01:00:02,049 --> 01:00:03,150
I look better than this nigga.
1210
01:00:03,369 --> 01:00:04,190
Maybe on this side.
1211
01:00:04,230 --> 01:00:05,251
Hey, ain't no time for beating.
1212
01:00:05,331 --> 01:00:06,715
We about to be high as fuck.
1213
01:00:06,895 --> 01:00:08,057
We gon' party, son.
1214
01:00:12,424 --> 01:00:13,304
Watch your face, y'all.
1215
01:00:13,704 --> 01:00:14,867
Watch up with your face.
1216
01:00:15,306 --> 01:00:15,867
That's right.
1217
01:00:16,067 --> 01:00:16,590
Right there.
1218
01:00:17,591 --> 01:00:18,231
Hey.
1219
01:00:18,912 --> 01:00:19,533
I love it.
1220
01:00:19,613 --> 01:00:20,373
Come in there.
1221
01:00:20,794 --> 01:00:21,818
What's in this?
1222
01:00:22,258 --> 01:00:24,421
You send yourself a sex tip?
1223
01:00:24,841 --> 01:00:25,122
Ah.
1224
01:00:25,922 --> 01:00:26,302
Wait.
1225
01:00:26,625 --> 01:00:27,406
You seen Gai?
1226
01:00:27,406 --> 01:00:30,229
I-I-I can't find her since she went to that protest.
1227
01:00:30,789 --> 01:00:31,090
No.
1228
01:00:33,273 --> 01:00:37,200
Red, let me guess, you are Woody from Toy Story?
1229
01:00:37,501 --> 01:00:38,782
Nah, Brenda, that's a gag.
1230
01:00:39,603 --> 01:00:41,645
Jake Gyllenhaal from Brokeback Mountain.
1231
01:00:42,628 --> 01:00:45,251
I wish I knew how to quit you, but I can't.
1232
01:00:46,995 --> 01:00:48,516
You lied, Mommy!
1233
01:00:49,337 --> 01:00:49,858
Hey, Brenda.
1234
01:00:50,278 --> 01:00:50,519
Huh?
1235
01:00:51,038 --> 01:00:52,943
Have you seen my big old bag of candy?
1236
01:00:53,423 --> 01:00:56,006
It had chocolates, gummies, lollipops.
1237
01:00:56,627 --> 01:00:57,530
It's gone missing.
1238
01:00:57,630 --> 01:00:58,230
No, no, no.
1239
01:00:58,390 --> 01:00:59,012
It's not missing.
1240
01:00:59,112 --> 01:01:00,534
I passed it out to the trick-or-treaters.
1241
01:01:00,534 --> 01:01:03,538
Brenda, that's my stash.
1242
01:02:11,828 --> 01:02:14,153
Why is she looking at me?
1243
01:02:16,275 --> 01:02:18,256
I'm a little distraught of you.
1244
01:02:18,700 --> 01:02:20,801
I'm fearful of you.
1245
01:02:20,801 --> 01:02:22,944
It's all about picking holes in the wall.
1246
01:02:22,984 --> 01:02:24,207
Get a real talk, yeah.
1247
01:02:25,469 --> 01:02:26,910
Make that ass jump.
1248
01:02:27,590 --> 01:02:27,931
Uh-huh.
1249
01:02:28,152 --> 01:02:28,734
Make that ass jump.
1250
01:02:28,734 --> 01:02:30,135
Uh-huh.
1251
01:02:30,215 --> 01:02:31,677
You better make that ass jump.
1252
01:02:31,878 --> 01:02:33,922
My niggas keep swinging on my slide.
1253
01:02:34,022 --> 01:02:36,385
Got to jam these ass out while I'm talking.
1254
01:02:36,664 --> 01:02:41,051
Hey, do you know how many baby seals die from microplastics?
1255
01:02:50,345 --> 01:02:51,627
Yeah, that's a cop's face.
1256
01:02:51,627 --> 01:02:57,295
Oh, my God.
1257
01:02:57,656 --> 01:02:58,596
He stabbed her.
1258
01:02:58,916 --> 01:02:59,579
Not her.
1259
01:03:00,181 --> 01:03:01,521
My pronouns are they, them.
1260
01:03:01,842 --> 01:03:03,022
He stabbed them.
1261
01:03:03,223 --> 01:03:04,025
I'm over 40.
1262
01:03:04,286 --> 01:03:06,168
How am I supposed to keep up with all of this?
1263
01:03:06,589 --> 01:03:07,430
She's not wrong.
1264
01:03:07,711 --> 01:03:12,878
It's Karen's like you that keep the patriarchy going with their knees on our necks.
1265
01:03:12,998 --> 01:03:15,202
Now they're playing the race card?
1266
01:03:15,702 --> 01:03:16,924
I've had enough of her shit.
1267
01:03:17,044 --> 01:03:18,105
That shit, bitch.
1268
01:03:20,769 --> 01:03:24,656
And to be clear, my real name is Karen.
1269
01:03:25,397 --> 01:03:26,137
Oh, shit.
1270
01:03:26,298 --> 01:03:27,159
This is too good.
1271
01:03:27,279 --> 01:03:28,500
Ignore the insults.
1272
01:03:28,921 --> 01:03:31,145
They don't realize we're here to help them.
1273
01:03:31,506 --> 01:03:35,872
Toxic masculinity and mansplaining doesn't help anybody.
1274
01:03:36,052 --> 01:03:37,734
I was born masculine and toxic.
1275
01:03:38,375 --> 01:03:39,758
I love women in sports.
1276
01:03:40,119 --> 01:03:41,320
Just not together.
1277
01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:42,141
Come here, bitch.
1278
01:03:43,383 --> 01:03:44,223
I got her.
1279
01:03:44,543 --> 01:03:44,966
Me next.
1280
01:03:45,066 --> 01:03:46,267
I ain't ready for this.
1281
01:03:46,467 --> 01:03:47,088
Check it out, girl.
1282
01:03:47,168 --> 01:03:47,689
Me next.
1283
01:03:48,089 --> 01:03:48,310
Move.
1284
01:03:49,010 --> 01:03:50,014
So wild.
1285
01:03:50,014 --> 01:03:53,117
Oh, my God.
1286
01:03:53,697 --> 01:03:55,461
I'm going mad as hell.
1287
01:04:01,130 --> 01:04:02,410
What's up, Nadia?
1288
01:04:03,091 --> 01:04:04,072
Can I ask you something?
1289
01:04:05,236 --> 01:04:05,837
Yeah, sure.
1290
01:04:07,478 --> 01:04:10,964
It's about, you know, how to go down on a girl.
1291
01:04:11,905 --> 01:04:13,047
It's about eating pussy?
1292
01:04:13,908 --> 01:04:14,307
Yes.
1293
01:04:14,728 --> 01:04:16,052
It's so cringe, but yeah.
1294
01:04:16,332 --> 01:04:20,338
So maybe if you start talking like a 14-year-old white girl, you could learn something.
1295
01:04:20,959 --> 01:04:21,299
All right.
1296
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:22,100
So listen up.
1297
01:04:22,420 --> 01:04:24,763
First thing you got to do, you got to spread the man.
1298
01:04:24,823 --> 01:04:25,726
You got to open it up.
1299
01:04:26,066 --> 01:04:27,147
And you want to use your fingers.
1300
01:04:27,588 --> 01:04:28,829
Sometimes you can use two.
1301
01:04:29,190 --> 01:04:30,553
Two fingers like that there.
1302
01:04:30,854 --> 01:04:31,073
Yeah?
1303
01:04:31,555 --> 01:04:35,801
Now, once you get it all in there, now you got to use your tongue.
1304
01:04:36,201 --> 01:04:37,262
You can't be afraid of it.
1305
01:04:40,989 --> 01:04:41,989
Lean into it.
1306
01:04:42,530 --> 01:04:43,030
No, no, no.
1307
01:04:43,050 --> 01:04:43,931
You're doing it too fast.
1308
01:04:44,152 --> 01:04:44,812
No, no, no.
1309
01:04:45,856 --> 01:04:46,217
Listen.
1310
01:04:46,857 --> 01:04:47,597
You got to be gentle.
1311
01:04:47,657 --> 01:04:48,358
You got to talk to her.
1312
01:04:48,358 --> 01:04:50,179
Hello, little guy.
1313
01:04:50,580 --> 01:04:51,483
How you doing?
1314
01:04:53,026 --> 01:04:53,345
Boom.
1315
01:04:53,946 --> 01:04:55,308
It's like boom in the blunt.
1316
01:04:55,788 --> 01:05:01,999
All you got to do, nephew, is hit that shit.
1317
01:05:03,340 --> 01:05:04,101
Got it?
1318
01:05:04,422 --> 01:05:04,743
Mm-hmm.
1319
01:05:04,862 --> 01:05:05,523
Right now.
1320
01:05:06,226 --> 01:05:08,989
If you want to learn to lick ass, that's your mama.
1321
01:05:11,213 --> 01:05:13,896
Oh, you feel so good.
1322
01:05:14,797 --> 01:05:17,121
Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
1323
01:05:17,121 --> 01:05:20,164
Well, I want to try something.
1324
01:05:20,725 --> 01:05:22,869
I thought you said you'd never let me peck you.
1325
01:05:23,069 --> 01:05:23,290
What?
1326
01:05:23,450 --> 01:05:23,670
No.
1327
01:05:24,892 --> 01:05:25,411
Relax.
1328
01:05:26,415 --> 01:05:27,457
I just want to taste you.
1329
01:05:30,100 --> 01:05:30,619
Okay.
1330
01:05:32,983 --> 01:05:34,025
Dinner time.
1331
01:05:34,947 --> 01:05:35,506
Oh, yeah.
1332
01:05:35,707 --> 01:05:36,570
Come here, baby.
1333
01:05:39,954 --> 01:05:40,474
Careful.
1334
01:05:40,914 --> 01:05:41,978
You might get gangster.
1335
01:05:42,378 --> 01:05:45,242
Oh, it is gangster.
1336
01:05:45,242 --> 01:05:46,202
Okay.
1337
01:05:46,502 --> 01:05:46,805
Stop.
1338
01:05:46,885 --> 01:05:47,325
You're so hot.
1339
01:05:47,386 --> 01:05:48,246
You want some more?
1340
01:05:48,687 --> 01:05:49,047
Yeah.
1341
01:05:51,832 --> 01:05:53,313
No, no, no, no.
1342
01:05:53,995 --> 01:05:55,836
You feel so much better.
1343
01:05:57,741 --> 01:05:59,443
Get back in there.
1344
01:05:59,743 --> 01:05:59,884
Yeah.
1345
01:06:00,244 --> 01:06:00,843
Lick it.
1346
01:06:01,224 --> 01:06:01,565
Yeah.
1347
01:06:02,368 --> 01:06:03,408
Lick it hard.
1348
01:06:04,410 --> 01:06:05,371
Finish her.
1349
01:06:07,255 --> 01:06:09,778
Oh, my God.
1350
01:06:09,778 --> 01:06:12,943
Oh, my God.
1351
01:06:13,124 --> 01:06:14,345
Just like rolling in blood.
1352
01:06:15,827 --> 01:06:16,547
Oh, my God.
1353
01:06:16,647 --> 01:06:16,987
It's me.
1354
01:06:18,352 --> 01:06:19,432
Oh, Jesus.
1355
01:06:20,314 --> 01:06:20,854
Oh.
1356
01:06:21,895 --> 01:06:22,437
Ow.
1357
01:06:25,420 --> 01:06:26,521
What the fuck?
1358
01:06:26,862 --> 01:06:27,342
Hey, there.
1359
01:06:27,926 --> 01:06:29,327
We're here to tell you about Halloween party.
1360
01:06:30,088 --> 01:06:31,408
You didn't know, did you?
1361
01:06:31,649 --> 01:06:36,937
We're going to drink, play bad music, do some half-gay shit, watch us half-gay.
1362
01:06:37,377 --> 01:06:38,401
Can I help you?
1363
01:06:38,401 --> 01:06:40,383
If you just invite us in.
1364
01:06:40,984 --> 01:06:42,225
Why do you need an invitation?
1365
01:06:42,787 --> 01:06:46,891
White folks show up to parties uninvited all the time with their little nasty-ass casseroles.
1366
01:06:47,052 --> 01:06:47,734
Glad as shit.
1367
01:06:47,835 --> 01:06:49,136
Y'all better stop using some loud.
1368
01:06:49,777 --> 01:06:52,059
And why she got them dirty-ass feet?
1369
01:06:52,119 --> 01:06:54,363
Look like you was walking around porn sets all day.
1370
01:06:54,584 --> 01:06:55,846
Got them trailer-block toes.
1371
01:06:56,826 --> 01:06:57,307
Jesus!
1372
01:06:57,608 --> 01:06:58,991
I think you're in the wrong place.
1373
01:06:59,511 --> 01:07:00,112
Y'all playing?
1374
01:07:01,093 --> 01:07:01,454
No.
1375
01:07:02,114 --> 01:07:04,598
We believe in music and equality.
1376
01:07:05,379 --> 01:07:06,200
How about we show y'all?
1377
01:07:06,200 --> 01:07:07,281
It's okay now.
1378
01:07:08,586 --> 01:07:10,326
We're moving on up.
1379
01:07:11,248 --> 01:07:13,633
To the east side.
1380
01:07:14,554 --> 01:07:16,636
To a deluxe apartment.
1381
01:07:17,135 --> 01:07:18,017
In the sky.
1382
01:07:19,101 --> 01:07:20,882
We're moving on up.
1383
01:07:21,143 --> 01:07:22,804
De-gentrified De-genesis.
1384
01:07:23,184 --> 01:07:25,649
Weezy's rolling around in her grave right now.
1385
01:07:25,649 --> 01:07:27,872
Can't do this to the Black National Anthem.
1386
01:07:35,624 --> 01:07:36,065
Boo!
1387
01:07:37,046 --> 01:07:37,485
Boo!
1388
01:07:37,485 --> 01:07:38,107
Look at you suck!
1389
01:07:38,247 --> 01:07:38,950
Boo your ass!
1390
01:07:39,791 --> 01:07:41,712
Get your ass out of here!
1391
01:07:42,334 --> 01:07:45,960
Why don't y'all just go to one of those frat parties where they drink until they black out,
1392
01:07:45,960 --> 01:07:47,162
and wake up with their booties hurting.
1393
01:07:47,601 --> 01:07:50,325
Not knowing what someone in a cowboy hat did to their head.
1394
01:07:50,546 --> 01:07:50,686
What?
1395
01:07:52,048 --> 01:07:52,489
Okay.
1396
01:07:52,868 --> 01:07:54,673
Well, we will leave you guys alone.
1397
01:07:54,793 --> 01:07:58,116
But we're going to walk real slow just in case y'all change your minds.
1398
01:08:00,801 --> 01:08:02,003
Change your minds yet?
1399
01:08:02,042 --> 01:08:02,323
No!
1400
01:08:02,524 --> 01:08:03,344
Hell no!
1401
01:08:04,267 --> 01:08:05,048
How about now?
1402
01:08:05,288 --> 01:08:05,989
Hell no!
1403
01:08:06,149 --> 01:08:06,349
No!
1404
01:08:07,071 --> 01:08:07,350
Yes?
1405
01:08:07,451 --> 01:08:08,030
Hell no!
1406
01:08:08,291 --> 01:08:09,254
Please walk it!
1407
01:08:09,335 --> 01:08:10,076
Now get it!
1408
01:08:10,176 --> 01:08:10,695
Let's go, let's go.
1409
01:08:10,796 --> 01:08:11,396
Come on!
1410
01:08:11,476 --> 01:08:12,578
My folks are getting weary.
1411
01:08:16,003 --> 01:08:18,426
Guys, I think I saw an open window over here.
1412
01:08:18,747 --> 01:08:19,650
That window's closed.
1413
01:08:19,930 --> 01:08:20,590
Not for long.
1414
01:08:21,452 --> 01:08:21,892
Hello!
1415
01:08:25,037 --> 01:08:25,298
Boo!
1416
01:08:27,480 --> 01:08:28,001
Wicked.
1417
01:08:29,141 --> 01:08:30,024
Fucking idiots.
1418
01:08:35,653 --> 01:08:36,093
Hey!
1419
01:08:38,555 --> 01:08:38,996
Tuesday!
1420
01:08:39,799 --> 01:08:41,401
You came back!
1421
01:08:41,521 --> 01:08:42,762
Yeah, I just left my inhaler.
1422
01:08:43,503 --> 01:08:46,468
Honestly, Tuesday, I thought inhalers were the worst plot device in every history.
1423
01:08:46,669 --> 01:08:47,189
That's true.
1424
01:08:47,369 --> 01:08:48,030
Should have been a fake.
1425
01:08:48,311 --> 01:08:50,856
But we're here now, so let's make the most of it.
1426
01:08:50,976 --> 01:08:52,377
And wear them white clothes!
1427
01:08:57,795 --> 01:08:58,235
Sarah?
1428
01:08:58,855 --> 01:08:59,336
Hello.
1429
01:08:59,898 --> 01:09:02,261
Get your sister and get out of there right now.
1430
01:09:02,562 --> 01:09:03,082
Okay, hon?
1431
01:09:03,403 --> 01:09:04,804
I am a grown-ass woman.
1432
01:09:05,167 --> 01:09:08,090
Mother, I don't have to do anything you tell me to do.
1433
01:09:08,109 --> 01:09:10,635
That's the house where your psychopath killed those people.
1434
01:09:11,115 --> 01:09:12,436
Someone wanted to get him there.
1435
01:09:13,157 --> 01:09:16,903
Which means someone wants to get me there.
1436
01:09:17,244 --> 01:09:19,325
Oh my God, this isn't about you!
1437
01:09:19,566 --> 01:09:20,449
Why are you yelling?
1438
01:09:20,650 --> 01:09:22,912
Because you live so fucking far away!
1439
01:09:23,793 --> 01:09:26,077
Wait, hold on, are you tracking my phone?
1440
01:09:26,478 --> 01:09:27,919
Shh, you're breaking up.
1441
01:09:27,919 --> 01:09:29,160
Yeah, shh.
1442
01:09:34,527 --> 01:09:36,452
Happy birthday!
1443
01:09:43,620 --> 01:09:44,443
What the fuck?
1444
01:09:44,983 --> 01:09:45,584
No!
1445
01:09:46,748 --> 01:09:47,968
I'm sorry!
1446
01:09:48,730 --> 01:09:50,491
I thought I was supposed to smoke it!
1447
01:09:50,491 --> 01:09:52,696
Oh shit.
1448
01:09:54,378 --> 01:09:54,817
Seriously?
1449
01:09:57,823 --> 01:09:59,265
With the 12 years of slave shit?
1450
01:09:59,506 --> 01:10:00,566
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1451
01:10:00,686 --> 01:10:01,950
I didn't see that movie, okay?
1452
01:10:02,550 --> 01:10:03,952
I just found this thing in the shed.
1453
01:10:04,393 --> 01:10:04,713
Jeez.
1454
01:10:11,123 --> 01:10:12,265
Come on, bro.
1455
01:10:12,945 --> 01:10:14,027
That's even worse.
1456
01:10:15,628 --> 01:10:17,072
I didn't mean it that way.
1457
01:10:17,591 --> 01:10:19,215
Some of my best victims are black.
1458
01:10:22,719 --> 01:10:25,924
And another brother falls victim to gun violence.
1459
01:10:26,526 --> 01:10:28,608
Turns out race is still an issue.
1460
01:10:29,109 --> 01:10:29,950
That's not fair.
1461
01:10:30,369 --> 01:10:32,475
You know black guys usually die first in horror movies.
1462
01:10:37,161 --> 01:10:39,925
Please give a whole new meaning to dead by daylight.
1463
01:10:43,590 --> 01:10:44,171
Goofy.
1464
01:10:45,472 --> 01:10:46,393
Goofy ass.
1465
01:10:47,737 --> 01:10:48,237
Oh!
1466
01:10:51,341 --> 01:10:52,344
Hello, shorty.
1467
01:10:52,564 --> 01:10:53,064
Woohoo!
1468
01:10:53,785 --> 01:10:54,586
Get him, get him!
1469
01:10:55,227 --> 01:10:56,228
Ha, ha, ha!
1470
01:10:56,428 --> 01:10:57,772
Got ya, Goofy ass!
1471
01:10:57,952 --> 01:10:59,333
You're about to be eyes.
1472
01:10:59,935 --> 01:11:00,214
Oh!
1473
01:11:10,330 --> 01:11:11,910
Why you running backwards, huh?
1474
01:11:12,011 --> 01:11:13,454
Oh no, it's not me.
1475
01:11:13,694 --> 01:11:14,296
Something's wrong.
1476
01:11:14,296 --> 01:11:16,177
Ben, your remote is upside down.
1477
01:11:18,383 --> 01:11:19,783
Game on, bitch.
1478
01:11:27,395 --> 01:11:28,598
Black lives matter.
1479
01:11:28,776 --> 01:11:29,878
Not you, shorty.
1480
01:11:30,239 --> 01:11:31,200
Oh my, I need you.
1481
01:11:31,200 --> 01:11:32,523
Whoa, what's going on?
1482
01:11:32,603 --> 01:11:33,023
Oh, Jack.
1483
01:11:33,465 --> 01:11:35,066
Oh, thank God you're here.
1484
01:11:35,166 --> 01:11:35,807
Where were you?
1485
01:11:36,148 --> 01:11:37,751
Gooseface was just here.
1486
01:11:37,951 --> 01:11:40,354
I was outside getting some fresh air.
1487
01:11:40,574 --> 01:11:40,954
Stop.
1488
01:11:41,955 --> 01:11:44,399
One of you is the killer.
1489
01:11:45,542 --> 01:11:45,741
No.
1490
01:11:46,922 --> 01:11:48,667
Why do you have blood on your hands?
1491
01:11:50,769 --> 01:11:52,833
I found Brad outside.
1492
01:11:53,314 --> 01:11:54,213
She's the killer!
1493
01:11:54,574 --> 01:11:56,617
I am not the killer.
1494
01:11:56,856 --> 01:11:58,541
I'm not even sex positive.
1495
01:11:58,862 --> 01:11:59,642
I'm a virgin.
1496
01:12:00,242 --> 01:12:00,804
No way.
1497
01:12:01,164 --> 01:12:02,566
You're being like every dude in Woodsville.
1498
01:12:03,068 --> 01:12:03,889
Fuck you.
1499
01:12:06,191 --> 01:12:07,833
The butt doesn't count.
1500
01:12:12,980 --> 01:12:15,806
Welcome to act three, bitches.
1501
01:12:17,628 --> 01:12:18,190
What?
1502
01:12:19,651 --> 01:12:21,114
What does that even mean?
1503
01:12:22,334 --> 01:12:24,440
It's when the shit goes down.
1504
01:12:25,059 --> 01:12:25,260
Oh.
1505
01:12:25,680 --> 01:12:28,586
I still don't really know what she means, but I think we should run!
1506
01:12:42,664 --> 01:12:43,225
Wait!
1507
01:12:47,332 --> 01:12:47,892
Linda!
1508
01:12:48,452 --> 01:12:49,837
I think it might've been a shooter.
1509
01:12:50,296 --> 01:12:51,418
It's a lie.
1510
01:12:51,798 --> 01:12:53,540
I've learned it on video games.
1511
01:12:53,842 --> 01:12:56,005
Not the liquor or lack of parental supervision.
1512
01:12:56,465 --> 01:12:57,307
You're gonna need this.
1513
01:12:57,647 --> 01:12:59,591
Do you have one bigger and black?
1514
01:13:00,032 --> 01:13:01,433
A rotten egg.
1515
01:13:03,194 --> 01:13:04,738
Hey, who are you?
1516
01:13:04,879 --> 01:13:05,498
John Wick?
1517
01:13:05,879 --> 01:13:08,161
I would've said ballerina, but nobody saw that shit.
1518
01:13:08,842 --> 01:13:09,846
Let's do this.
1519
01:13:10,306 --> 01:13:11,067
Oh, okay.
1520
01:13:11,928 --> 01:13:12,409
No!
1521
01:13:15,794 --> 01:13:16,555
Tell me!
1522
01:13:17,255 --> 01:13:18,497
I'm definitely not pregnant.
1523
01:13:18,617 --> 01:13:19,320
I can't believe it.
1524
01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:20,422
What do you think?
1525
01:13:21,522 --> 01:13:23,484
I think Drake lost to Kendrick.
1526
01:13:23,644 --> 01:13:25,068
I still like Drake.
1527
01:13:25,289 --> 01:13:26,629
But what was up with that love shoot?
1528
01:13:26,710 --> 01:13:28,351
That's such a bitch ass move.
1529
01:13:28,571 --> 01:13:30,296
About this situation.
1530
01:13:30,956 --> 01:13:32,779
Oh, that's definitely a trap.
1531
01:13:32,979 --> 01:13:34,380
She don't know where we are depending on that.
1532
01:13:35,943 --> 01:13:36,665
Look out!
1533
01:13:42,802 --> 01:13:44,315
I'm not gonna make it!
1534
01:13:44,354 --> 01:13:44,958
I doubt it.
1535
01:13:44,978 --> 01:13:45,959
Oh, God, Cindy!
1536
01:13:47,340 --> 01:13:48,901
Oh, my bitch!
1537
01:13:49,042 --> 01:13:50,365
I'm not dead yet!
1538
01:13:51,026 --> 01:13:52,147
Oh, my bad.
1539
01:13:52,428 --> 01:13:52,588
I'm sorry.
1540
01:13:52,769 --> 01:13:54,089
Now you go back in there.
1541
01:13:55,133 --> 01:13:55,914
Finish it.
1542
01:13:56,493 --> 01:13:57,475
For me, Cindy.
1543
01:13:57,796 --> 01:13:59,237
I would do anything for you, Brenda.
1544
01:14:06,719 --> 01:14:07,800
She bought it!
1545
01:14:08,021 --> 01:14:09,422
That don't catch up trick.
1546
01:14:09,602 --> 01:14:10,445
It don't fail.
1547
01:14:10,785 --> 01:14:11,646
That bitch is crazy.
1548
01:14:11,806 --> 01:14:13,969
She thought I was taking my black ass back in there.
1549
01:14:14,670 --> 01:14:16,013
I'm gonna kill you!
1550
01:14:18,395 --> 01:14:19,757
Attention all children!
1551
01:14:20,460 --> 01:14:23,383
You have five seconds to show yourselves!
1552
01:14:37,123 --> 01:14:38,466
Tweet, bitch!
1553
01:14:39,167 --> 01:14:41,110
You shot my favorite ball!
1554
01:14:41,631 --> 01:14:43,152
Go back to your old damn plan!
1555
01:14:44,013 --> 01:14:44,354
Don't!
1556
01:14:54,128 --> 01:14:55,649
Hello, Cindy.
1557
01:14:56,793 --> 01:14:57,433
Hello.
1558
01:14:58,254 --> 01:15:02,261
Looks like you forgot the first rule of surviving a horror movie.
1559
01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:04,423
Never answer that door.
1560
01:15:05,804 --> 01:15:08,991
I thought the first rule was never to trust the level trust.
1561
01:15:10,672 --> 01:15:11,275
Oh, really?
1562
01:15:11,755 --> 01:15:13,096
Well, I'm changing rules.
1563
01:15:13,197 --> 01:15:13,777
How about that?
1564
01:15:14,779 --> 01:15:15,599
New rule.
1565
01:15:16,482 --> 01:15:17,863
Go fuck yourself.
1566
01:15:18,384 --> 01:15:18,885
Wait, wait.
1567
01:15:20,566 --> 01:15:23,091
Why do you hate closets so much?
1568
01:15:23,251 --> 01:15:24,753
I told you to come out.
1569
01:15:24,914 --> 01:15:26,778
Yeah, well, I didn't want to get shot.
1570
01:15:27,017 --> 01:15:28,078
Ironic, isn't it?
1571
01:15:29,080 --> 01:15:30,101
You missed me.
1572
01:15:31,362 --> 01:15:33,025
Oh, God, it moves me.
1573
01:15:33,506 --> 01:15:34,027
It's in trouble.
1574
01:15:35,849 --> 01:15:37,112
You think you're John Wick?
1575
01:15:37,393 --> 01:15:38,634
I'm like a future dog.
1576
01:15:38,634 --> 01:15:41,036
What are you doing?
1577
01:15:43,381 --> 01:15:45,542
Mr. Todd, it's just a metaphor.
1578
01:15:46,104 --> 01:15:47,889
It was about losing his wife.
1579
01:15:48,008 --> 01:15:49,169
Are you sure it's not an allegory?
1580
01:15:59,845 --> 01:16:01,426
Let us begin.
1581
01:16:11,020 --> 01:16:11,841
Come on.
1582
01:16:21,816 --> 01:16:23,980
Oh, that stunt girl is good.
1583
01:16:58,853 --> 01:17:04,800
Eat a dick.
1584
01:17:15,335 --> 01:17:16,437
Shoot him, Sarah.
1585
01:17:16,818 --> 01:17:17,418
End this.
1586
01:17:17,618 --> 01:17:18,942
Don't tell me what to do.
1587
01:17:19,182 --> 01:17:25,771
This isn't the best time to resolve our mommy-daughter issues, but, Sarah, I am so sorry.
1588
01:17:25,951 --> 01:17:27,332
I have been a terrible mother.
1589
01:17:27,914 --> 01:17:30,117
I don't even know your sister Wednesday.
1590
01:17:30,519 --> 01:17:30,899
Tuesday.
1591
01:17:31,380 --> 01:17:33,984
Have to clarify that for legal reasons.
1592
01:17:34,505 --> 01:17:36,026
But I prepared you for this.
1593
01:17:36,387 --> 01:17:37,808
So go on, baby.
1594
01:17:38,288 --> 01:17:39,472
You kill him.
1595
01:17:39,872 --> 01:17:40,393
Sarah!
1596
01:17:41,013 --> 01:17:41,434
Jack!
1597
01:17:41,555 --> 01:17:41,855
Sarah!
1598
01:17:42,276 --> 01:17:42,795
Jack!
1599
01:17:42,996 --> 01:17:43,376
Sarah!
1600
01:17:43,557 --> 01:17:43,939
Jack!
1601
01:17:44,339 --> 01:17:44,800
Sarah!
1602
01:17:45,059 --> 01:17:45,540
Jack!
1603
01:17:45,701 --> 01:17:46,041
Sarah!
1604
01:17:46,201 --> 01:17:46,482
Jack!
1605
01:17:46,662 --> 01:17:46,942
Sarah!
1606
01:17:47,183 --> 01:17:47,482
Sarah!
1607
01:17:47,482 --> 01:17:47,582
Sarah!
1608
01:17:47,582 --> 01:17:47,702
Sarah!
1609
01:17:47,702 --> 01:17:50,287
Thank God you're okay, because I really wanted to be the one to kill you!
1610
01:17:51,128 --> 01:17:52,330
I won't take it, baby.
1611
01:17:52,629 --> 01:17:53,351
Oh, oh!
1612
01:17:54,154 --> 01:17:56,236
Bee, I told you it was about me.
1613
01:17:56,536 --> 01:17:57,997
No, Sarah.
1614
01:17:59,582 --> 01:18:00,783
You were just a bait.
1615
01:18:01,564 --> 01:18:02,626
It's about her.
1616
01:18:03,665 --> 01:18:04,129
Fuck!
1617
01:18:04,349 --> 01:18:05,389
Oh, sorry, honey.
1618
01:18:05,589 --> 01:18:06,631
I hate being right.
1619
01:18:07,372 --> 01:18:08,733
You should have listened to Doofy.
1620
01:18:09,656 --> 01:18:10,998
A bit twist.
1621
01:18:11,699 --> 01:18:13,961
It just seems too obvious, you know?
1622
01:18:14,103 --> 01:18:16,445
Which makes you think it is not obvious.
1623
01:18:16,566 --> 01:18:17,206
Same page, honey.
1624
01:18:17,327 --> 01:18:19,672
Yeah, well, that's the twist!
1625
01:18:20,252 --> 01:18:20,972
Now get in the kitchen.
1626
01:18:21,273 --> 01:18:21,473
Go!
1627
01:18:21,473 --> 01:18:22,554
What the hell are you doing?
1628
01:18:23,114 --> 01:18:24,478
Okay, listen up!
1629
01:18:25,579 --> 01:18:29,926
See, there hasn't been a great horror movie since the first one.
1630
01:18:30,467 --> 01:18:31,728
We're going to save the franchise.
1631
01:18:32,389 --> 01:18:33,449
Go get our special guest star.
1632
01:18:36,365 --> 01:18:38,286
Hollywood is out of ideas.
1633
01:18:39,008 --> 01:18:41,232
Why else would there be a scary movie, Six?
1634
01:18:41,452 --> 01:18:43,435
But it wouldn't work with just the new characters, would it?
1635
01:18:43,674 --> 01:18:45,899
We need the legacy characters.
1636
01:18:46,279 --> 01:18:51,307
Oh, and there wouldn't be a Cindy without her sassy, black sidekick, Brenda.
1637
01:18:51,307 --> 01:18:54,711
You ain't have to say black with no heart beat like that.
1638
01:18:54,753 --> 01:18:57,275
Brenda, didn't you get shot?
1639
01:18:58,217 --> 01:18:58,617
Dara?
1640
01:19:00,081 --> 01:19:01,682
Oh, wait, that's it!
1641
01:19:01,983 --> 01:19:02,303
Oh, look!
1642
01:19:04,315 --> 01:19:05,419
Mom, what are you doing?
1643
01:19:05,419 --> 01:19:06,100
Stop dancing!
1644
01:19:06,318 --> 01:19:06,780
Oh, my God!
1645
01:19:06,780 --> 01:19:07,460
Stop dancing!
1646
01:19:07,581 --> 01:19:08,642
Everybody stop dancing!
1647
01:19:09,222 --> 01:19:09,823
Oh!
1648
01:19:10,586 --> 01:19:11,187
Mom!
1649
01:19:11,827 --> 01:19:12,307
No!
1650
01:19:13,730 --> 01:19:15,514
You called me Mom.
1651
01:19:16,434 --> 01:19:18,336
You care about me.
1652
01:19:19,156 --> 01:19:20,881
I want to go that far, but I'm in.
1653
01:19:20,881 --> 01:19:22,042
Sure.
1654
01:19:22,222 --> 01:19:22,983
Go get Tuesday.
1655
01:19:23,604 --> 01:19:24,765
Okay, ladies.
1656
01:19:24,926 --> 01:19:26,809
Time to stage the party.
1657
01:19:27,490 --> 01:19:29,572
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
1658
01:19:29,893 --> 01:19:30,213
Oh!
1659
01:19:30,696 --> 01:19:30,956
What?
1660
01:19:31,896 --> 01:19:33,259
Who are you people?
1661
01:19:33,458 --> 01:19:36,364
We're the motherfuckers who are taking over this franchise.
1662
01:19:36,923 --> 01:19:37,765
Oh, yeah?
1663
01:19:38,507 --> 01:19:39,107
Okay.
1664
01:19:39,687 --> 01:19:40,550
Oh, my God.
1665
01:19:40,630 --> 01:19:42,713
That was not part of the plan.
1666
01:19:43,554 --> 01:19:44,073
Oh, my God.
1667
01:19:45,738 --> 01:19:47,219
Neither was this.
1668
01:19:47,800 --> 01:19:48,401
Oh!
1669
01:19:48,662 --> 01:19:49,062
Oh!
1670
01:19:50,482 --> 01:19:53,127
Wait, bring out one of those.
1671
01:19:53,308 --> 01:19:53,749
Oh!
1672
01:19:54,330 --> 01:19:55,310
Hot damn!
1673
01:19:57,815 --> 01:19:58,856
Anthony Anderson?
1674
01:19:59,417 --> 01:20:03,142
Yeah, and I brought my boy Kevin Hart with me.
1675
01:20:10,202 --> 01:20:10,722
What?
1676
01:20:11,045 --> 01:20:11,466
Shot?
1677
01:20:11,846 --> 01:20:12,425
That's right.
1678
01:20:12,646 --> 01:20:16,172
On my knees on the same night as Kevin, and Kevin said no.
1679
01:20:16,653 --> 01:20:17,633
Kevin Hart said no?
1680
01:20:17,914 --> 01:20:19,556
That little motherfucker says yes to everything.
1681
01:20:20,136 --> 01:20:20,798
Yeah, he does.
1682
01:20:20,798 --> 01:20:22,021
But wait.
1683
01:20:22,501 --> 01:20:23,883
There's more.
1684
01:20:25,064 --> 01:20:26,307
Ta-da!
1685
01:20:27,909 --> 01:20:28,529
Bitches!
1686
01:20:28,790 --> 01:20:29,191
Ray!
1687
01:20:29,591 --> 01:20:30,211
Shorty!
1688
01:20:30,371 --> 01:20:31,816
Yeah, that's right.
1689
01:20:32,557 --> 01:20:35,069
For Black Kill Year.
1690
01:20:35,479 --> 01:20:36,260
We're making history.
1691
01:20:36,963 --> 01:20:39,486
It's a new definition of black excellence.
1692
01:20:40,747 --> 01:20:42,251
But why would you do this?
1693
01:20:42,531 --> 01:20:42,950
Question.
1694
01:20:43,051 --> 01:20:43,552
It is.
1695
01:20:44,253 --> 01:20:46,697
Why would you try to make a sequel without us, huh?
1696
01:20:46,697 --> 01:20:51,502
Yeah, when the studio wanted to replace these brothers, I was there.
1697
01:20:51,965 --> 01:20:52,486
That's facts.
1698
01:20:53,066 --> 01:20:53,587
What about me?
1699
01:20:54,287 --> 01:20:54,828
What about you?
1700
01:20:55,089 --> 01:20:57,453
You were in one scene in part four.
1701
01:20:57,814 --> 01:21:00,676
Yes, but I made that motherfucker Dr. Phil cut his foot off.
1702
01:21:00,796 --> 01:21:01,797
And he crazy now.
1703
01:21:01,839 --> 01:21:02,781
Yeah, he got winded.
1704
01:21:03,161 --> 01:21:05,143
But you see what they trying to do?
1705
01:21:05,324 --> 01:21:07,368
They trying to pit us all up against each other.
1706
01:21:07,568 --> 01:21:10,291
They trying to start black on very black crime.
1707
01:21:10,491 --> 01:21:10,930
That's right.
1708
01:21:11,652 --> 01:21:12,135
Yo, Shot.
1709
01:21:12,675 --> 01:21:14,457
Hey, I'm proud of you, bro.
1710
01:21:14,457 --> 01:21:18,723
You've had an amazing career as a sports commentator since retiring from basketball.
1711
01:21:18,763 --> 01:21:21,206
And I love the big podcast.
1712
01:21:21,386 --> 01:21:22,410
I love that shit.
1713
01:21:23,071 --> 01:21:24,973
Even though I don't understand a word you be saying.
1714
01:21:25,353 --> 01:21:26,574
You be on that show talking about...
1715
01:21:26,574 --> 01:21:27,537
All right, all right, Benjamin.
1716
01:21:28,098 --> 01:21:28,838
All right, all right.
1717
01:21:28,858 --> 01:21:29,379
Thanks, Benjamin.
1718
01:21:30,460 --> 01:21:30,942
Kobe.
1719
01:21:31,321 --> 01:21:31,782
Enough.
1720
01:21:32,665 --> 01:21:35,909
But my point is, nigga, I love your shit.
1721
01:21:37,249 --> 01:21:39,193
But I never got over Kazam.
1722
01:21:39,734 --> 01:21:42,197
Get out of here, Ray.
1723
01:21:42,357 --> 01:21:43,841
Get your big ass over here.
1724
01:21:43,861 --> 01:21:46,383
Why did you leave the veggies?
1725
01:21:46,783 --> 01:21:48,148
You and Kobe, who the heck?
1726
01:21:48,428 --> 01:21:48,948
Nice.
1727
01:21:49,569 --> 01:21:50,971
That motherfucker treated me.
1728
01:21:51,392 --> 01:21:51,911
Shaquille.
1729
01:21:52,491 --> 01:21:55,417
How big is your butt?
1730
01:21:55,578 --> 01:21:56,098
22.
1731
01:21:56,279 --> 01:21:59,024
Then how big is your dick?
1732
01:21:59,263 --> 01:22:00,585
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ray.
1733
01:22:00,786 --> 01:22:01,266
Boss.
1734
01:22:01,366 --> 01:22:02,407
What the fuck you talking about?
1735
01:22:02,447 --> 01:22:03,530
I'm doing it for the culture.
1736
01:22:03,851 --> 01:22:04,791
What culture?
1737
01:22:05,292 --> 01:22:06,073
Culture club.
1738
01:22:06,534 --> 01:22:07,314
Uh-oh.
1739
01:22:07,314 --> 01:22:07,997
Come on, Ray.
1740
01:22:07,997 --> 01:22:08,637
We killing people.
1741
01:22:08,758 --> 01:22:09,199
Stay focused.
1742
01:22:09,199 --> 01:22:09,919
All right, all right, all right.
1743
01:22:10,059 --> 01:22:10,399
We back.
1744
01:22:11,361 --> 01:22:13,685
Hey, don't you worry.
1745
01:22:13,845 --> 01:22:14,625
We family.
1746
01:22:15,547 --> 01:22:16,908
Mad respect, man.
1747
01:22:17,810 --> 01:22:20,154
Black is nominated for eight Emmys.
1748
01:22:20,214 --> 01:22:20,855
My nigga.
1749
01:22:21,996 --> 01:22:24,421
Actually, the show was only nominated for five.
1750
01:22:24,600 --> 01:22:26,463
I was nominated for eight.
1751
01:22:26,583 --> 01:22:27,183
Wow.
1752
01:22:27,664 --> 01:22:28,567
Way to go.
1753
01:22:28,768 --> 01:22:29,608
He's the best.
1754
01:22:29,908 --> 01:22:30,128
He is.
1755
01:22:30,528 --> 01:22:32,711
Oh, the nomination.
1756
01:22:33,595 --> 01:22:34,195
Yeah.
1757
01:22:36,418 --> 01:22:37,879
But you never were.
1758
01:22:37,979 --> 01:22:38,481
What?
1759
01:22:39,263 --> 01:22:39,483
Shit.
1760
01:22:40,283 --> 01:22:41,104
Oh, no.
1761
01:22:42,265 --> 01:22:43,990
No face match to me, motherfucker.
1762
01:22:44,190 --> 01:22:45,170
This shit is for doing.
1763
01:22:45,311 --> 01:22:47,173
Scary movies paying for.
1764
01:22:47,472 --> 01:22:49,558
I literally fired the family.
1765
01:22:49,839 --> 01:22:54,705
Is this a copy of our good times episode on Slackish?
1766
01:22:54,866 --> 01:22:56,337
But you guys were on the WB.
1767
01:22:57,868 --> 01:22:59,793
Nobody saw that shit.
1768
01:23:01,975 --> 01:23:02,215
Oh.
1769
01:23:02,376 --> 01:23:02,975
No, no, no.
1770
01:23:02,975 --> 01:23:04,059
And you.
1771
01:23:04,519 --> 01:23:05,140
And you.
1772
01:23:05,721 --> 01:23:08,504
Y'all went and did scary movie three and four without us.
1773
01:23:08,744 --> 01:23:09,747
I'm sorry.
1774
01:23:09,888 --> 01:23:14,895
They often be sucking the leaves, they don't itch.
1775
01:23:15,916 --> 01:23:16,857
What about you?
1776
01:23:18,198 --> 01:23:22,866
Well, I had a chance to work with the incomparable Charlie Sheen.
1777
01:23:25,180 --> 01:23:25,800
That's good.
1778
01:23:26,000 --> 01:23:28,063
He's a legend in his dick games.
1779
01:23:28,162 --> 01:23:28,503
Crazy.
1780
01:23:28,844 --> 01:23:33,570
You know, he slept with 47,000 women and 1,000 of them women were dudes.
1781
01:23:33,831 --> 01:23:34,855
Lucky guy.
1782
01:23:36,015 --> 01:23:36,616
Wait.
1783
01:23:37,157 --> 01:23:38,678
So y'all gonna kill us now?
1784
01:23:40,262 --> 01:23:40,862
Nah.
1785
01:23:41,984 --> 01:23:44,486
What would Halloween be without Jamie Lee Curtis?
1786
01:23:44,789 --> 01:23:46,790
Or Scream be without Nev Kim?
1787
01:23:47,111 --> 01:23:48,273
That would be Scream 6.
1788
01:23:48,473 --> 01:23:51,037
How did you guys pull all of this off?
1789
01:23:51,137 --> 01:23:51,678
Sandy.
1790
01:23:52,480 --> 01:23:54,621
You know how many wages there are?
1791
01:23:55,444 --> 01:23:56,325
Nigga, billions.
1792
01:23:56,726 --> 01:23:57,166
Billions.
1793
01:23:57,567 --> 01:24:00,412
I'm just so happy that the old gang is back together.
1794
01:24:01,053 --> 01:24:03,315
Okay, in the middle, on three.
1795
01:24:03,315 --> 01:24:04,696
Corp 4.
1796
01:24:04,979 --> 01:24:05,900
Nah, nah.
1797
01:24:06,020 --> 01:24:06,379
Beat that.
1798
01:24:06,580 --> 01:24:07,401
That's corny.
1799
01:24:07,441 --> 01:24:07,822
That's wack.
1800
01:24:08,563 --> 01:24:12,008
What about the young and the restless?
1801
01:24:12,368 --> 01:24:14,851
Yeah, or the old and then the beautiful.
1802
01:24:15,214 --> 01:24:17,756
Or the cute and the crusty.
1803
01:24:17,897 --> 01:24:19,938
Yeah, or the sexy and then the seedy.
1804
01:24:26,150 --> 01:24:28,532
We were brought in to take over the franchise.
1805
01:24:28,933 --> 01:24:29,533
That's right.
1806
01:24:30,033 --> 01:24:31,837
And you've been here like 70 years.
1807
01:24:31,837 --> 01:24:32,278
Whoa.
1808
01:24:36,665 --> 01:24:38,607
I should drag that one for myself.
1809
01:24:38,968 --> 01:24:40,228
Oh, my back hurts.
1810
01:24:41,832 --> 01:24:42,833
Guys, guys.
1811
01:24:43,074 --> 01:24:44,175
They're already dead.
1812
01:24:44,375 --> 01:24:44,534
Nah.
1813
01:24:45,136 --> 01:24:46,460
Little fuckers always come back.
1814
01:24:46,680 --> 01:24:47,119
Oh, no.
1815
01:24:47,440 --> 01:24:48,301
Not this time.
1816
01:24:48,661 --> 01:24:49,143
Exactly.
1817
01:24:49,422 --> 01:24:50,264
Come on, let's go.
1818
01:24:50,403 --> 01:24:50,826
Let's go.
1819
01:24:51,047 --> 01:24:51,527
We're not even ready.
1820
01:24:52,447 --> 01:24:53,008
Next one.
1821
01:24:53,188 --> 01:24:53,789
Next one.
1822
01:24:54,070 --> 01:24:55,251
Next generation.
1823
01:24:55,470 --> 01:24:56,254
My ass.
1824
01:25:01,521 --> 01:25:04,405
Whoa, bitch.
1825
01:25:04,566 --> 01:25:04,884
Whoa.
1826
01:25:16,304 --> 01:25:17,684
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1827
01:25:18,025 --> 01:25:19,166
Can we shoot that?
1828
01:25:19,307 --> 01:25:20,508
I mean, those are our kids.
1829
01:25:20,968 --> 01:25:22,032
Fuck those kids.
1830
01:25:22,732 --> 01:25:24,254
This is our franchise.
1831
01:25:24,534 --> 01:25:29,021
Yeah, besides, did you know all these dramatic walkaways to find that was?
1832
01:25:29,522 --> 01:25:30,462
Damn, son.
1833
01:25:31,143 --> 01:25:31,886
Oh, no.
1834
01:25:32,407 --> 01:25:33,408
I kind of like you.
1835
01:25:34,609 --> 01:25:35,730
You do, right?
1836
01:25:35,971 --> 01:25:36,774
We should play fire.
1837
01:25:36,953 --> 01:25:38,815
You want to dress up like a bad bitch?
1838
01:25:39,116 --> 01:25:40,717
No, I want you to dress up like a bad bitch.
1839
01:25:42,002 --> 01:25:42,862
Y'all do the drag.
118546
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