Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:09,478
No-one's touched the baba ganoush,
I knew it!
2
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,678
I should never have gone off-piste
with the nibbles.
3
00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:12,960
WHISPERS: Where is your dad?
4
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,038
Wow! That's stunning, Cathy!
5
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,038
You should be on Bake Off.
Oh, it's nothing,
6
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:21,878
I just threw a few bits in a bowl.
7
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,038
Honestly, Rupert, it's probably
disgusting.
8
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,280
She's our very own Mary Berry.
9
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,038
She's, like, 100 years old, Marcus.
10
00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:32,678
Are you saying I look old, is that
what you're saying? Seriously?
11
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,840
No, no, absolutely not!
12
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,718
Shall I go and put some candles on
the cake?
13
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,720
I don't care. I can't even look at
you right now.
14
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,438
Just to reiterate, absolutely
nothing happened between me...
15
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,078
Not here. Right.
16
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,318
Everybody, apologies again
for the delay.
17
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,678
I'm sure Colin will be here
any minute.
18
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,518
What if he doesn't show up?
Shut up, Rupert!
19
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,880
He's here! Hide, everyone!
20
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,678
Shhhh.
21
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,998
Oh, sorry I'm late, Tess. Mwah!
22
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,718
I told Rupert I'd stay for one
birthday pint - one.
23
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:12,278
You know what he's like. I'm always
amazed how much that man can drink!
24
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,478
Why are the lights off?
25
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,040
ALL, QUIETLY: Surprise...
26
00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:20,320
Surprise.
27
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:22,800
Oh, shit.
28
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,000
Ooh, ooh!
29
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:30,720
Dad! Colin!
30
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,518
Dad!
31
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,678
ALL TALK AT ONCE
32
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,878
# For he's a jolly good fellow
33
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,560
# For he's a jolly good fell... #
34
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,278
CHURCH ORGAN PLAYS
35
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,560
I keep thinking about this thing
Colin said once.
36
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,318
He said, um...
37
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:54,478
being in love was like having
a good kind of tinnitus.
38
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,680
And I remember thinking that was a
good way to put it.
39
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:03,400
And for 30-odd years,
he was my lovely noise.
40
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,320
But it turns out that he had the
same noise going on...
41
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,400
..with someone else.
42
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,560
So, I guess it was the horrid kind
of tinnitus after all.
43
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,040
He was with her on his birthday.
44
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,078
Yeah.
45
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,278
With her and their daughter.
46
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,758
Who, by the way,
47
00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:30,240
he also called Catherine.
48
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,838
I mean, I've heard of people buying
their wife and their mistress
49
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,118
the same perfume,
but this is just so much worse.
50
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,600
This is so much worse.
51
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:41,880
You bastard, Colin!
52
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,678
You lying, cheating,
hypocritical bastard!
53
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:50,718
And do you know what, actually, I'm
glad you died, I am glad you died!
54
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,160
And I hope you burn in hell,
you absolute shit...! Come on.
55
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:03,440
And now, Colin's daughter,
Catherine, will say a few words.
56
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,038
I'm so sorry, Cathy.
57
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,918
I just wanted to be here to support
you while you met your new family.
58
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:35,038
I did, it's just,
she's very angry now.
59
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,758
And she's threatening to e-mail it
to you this afternoon,
60
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,318
and I thought you'd rather hear it
from me than stumble across it.
61
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,278
What, your knob?
Stumble across your knob,
62
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:47,238
like it's accidentally dropped off
and fallen into my inbox?
63
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,718
I know, but I couldn't tell you
over breakfast,
64
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,038
because your mum was there.
Don't bring my mum into this.
65
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,238
I'm not, I love your mum, she's
right up there with my own mum,
66
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,198
but we haven't had a lot of privacy
since moving in with her, have we?
67
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,038
You can't tell her anything
about this.
68
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,358
Our wedding is the only thing
keeping her going.
69
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,480
Ohh!
70
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,278
You promised me nothing happened.
71
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,558
Nothing did happen
between Meredith and me.
72
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,718
Physically. It was just some
innocent office flirting
73
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,640
that got a bit out of hand. Oh, God,
I hate myself so much right now!
74
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,478
Right.
75
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,040
I'm going to go and get
my dead dad's ashes back.
76
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,398
You know you could get in a lot of
trouble at work for this, Marcus?
77
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,078
Sending an explicit text to
a colleague. It's probably illegal.
78
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,398
But she started it!
It doesn't matter, Marcus.
79
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,798
Your knob's about to be flapping
around the internet.
80
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,998
Unless you had some incredible
lighting and some, like, trick
perspective,
81
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,160
you're not going to come out
of this well.
82
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,678
Hi. Hi.
83
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,358
Catherine Walcott!
84
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,398
Oh, come here.
85
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,800
Oh!
86
00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,918
Oh, this is so weird.
87
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,160
So weird!
88
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,478
Do you ever use the full name,
Catherine?
89
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,278
Oh, no, people just call me Cathy.
Yeah, everyone calls me Cat.
90
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:11,078
I always thought Cathy was a bit
frumpy, but it really works for you.
91
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,600
Come on, come inside.
92
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,118
Ohh! That is uncanny.
93
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,158
You two are the spit of each other.
94
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,600
Oh!
95
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:25,158
Cat got his lovely arse,
you got his lovely eyes.
96
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:26,718
Oh, God!
97
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,320
I loved his arse and his eyes.
98
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,360
Oh, thanks ever so much for
coming over, Cathy, love.
99
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:37,878
Do you want an energy drink?
100
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,960
Oh, I'm good, thanks. I'm trying
to wean myself off caffeine.
101
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,720
It must be convenient, living
right next to the hospital.
102
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,278
If ever you have an emergency, or...
103
00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,918
routine procedures...
104
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,598
Yeah, it's great.
105
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,518
We can see the incinerators
from our patio window.
106
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,678
Sometimes it smells like a barbecue,
you know, like the back of Nando's?
107
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:08,880
Oh, it's dead nice.
108
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,998
How are you coping with his passing,
darling?
109
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,638
Oh, really well, yeah.
110
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,798
Um, I've watched, like, every
TED Talk there is on bereavement,
111
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:22,038
and I'm really rattling through
the seven stages of grief.
112
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,640
I'm already on stage five,
I skipped denial, so...
113
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,638
I'll probably go back to work
quite soon.
114
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,080
What's your job?
I work in reinsurance.
115
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:35,198
So, I guess in layman's terms,
I insure insurance companies.
116
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,518
So, I basically manage risk.
117
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:41,438
I actually like to joke and I say,
um, I'm not a risk taker,
118
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,158
I'm a risk taker-awayer.
119
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,918
Oh, my God, I love takeaways!
120
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:48,398
God, that's another thing we've got
in common.
121
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,638
I work for Deliveroo,
it's the best job ever.
122
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,318
At least twice a shift, someone
rings and cancels the order late,
123
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,440
and I get to eat whatever's left
in the bag.
124
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,118
Cool, cool.
125
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,838
So, what do you do, Marilyn?
126
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,158
Oh, I don't work.
127
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,000
It's very hard, with my condition.
128
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,118
How's your mum doing?
129
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:11,718
Oh, she's struggling, yeah.
130
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:15,598
She hasn't cried yet, so, um,
it's hard.
131
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,198
I too find it hard.
132
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,278
Physically, I miss him the most.
133
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,518
I'm sure your mum has told you
all about this,
134
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,278
but he was a
135
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,400
sexual shire horse of a man.
136
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,958
Was that your other half at the
funeral,
137
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,798
the bloke with the fat hands?
Oh, did he have fat hands?
138
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,478
Yeah, that was my boyfriend.
139
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,678
Well, my fiance, Marcus.
140
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,638
Oh! Fiance! Ooh!
141
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,318
When's the big day?
142
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:45,318
It's supposed to be June 12th, but
everything's a bit up in the air.
143
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:47,598
Oh, God, this is so exciting!
144
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,758
I've never been a bridesmaid before.
145
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,918
Here, I won't have to pay
for the dress, will I?
146
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,718
Well, we haven't really got that far
yet. So, um...
147
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,158
Are you seeing anyone, Cat?
148
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,878
Well, this summer
I finally completed Tinder,
149
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,840
so I'm just taking a bit
of a breather.
150
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,038
Cool, cool.
151
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:09,038
I think the problem is, is that my
parents set this really high bar,
152
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,118
because they were so deeply into
each other.
153
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,520
Your father was deeply into me.
154
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,600
Often. OK, well, I should probably
be off.
155
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,478
Thanks for picking up the ashes.
156
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,278
I don't really remember making
that plan.
157
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:26,400
I went to collect him this morning,
but you'd nipped in there first.
158
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,478
So, um, if it's OK by you guys,
159
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,878
do you mind if I take the urn back
with me?
160
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,238
Of course you can take the urn.
161
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,278
Oh, OK, great!
162
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,240
We've already poured him
into something a bit more Dad.
163
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:46,558
He got this tin for us from his
holiday in Disneyland in Florida.
164
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:50,278
It's Disney World.
Disneyland's in California.
165
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,118
Are you sure? Yeah.
I was with him when he bought it.
166
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,438
All right, don't rub it in!
Sorry, I...
167
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:56,918
So, how shall we do this?
168
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,278
Cos we should probably work out
the, um...
169
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,438
..oh, I don't want to use the term
custody, but, um...
170
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,078
I'd quite like him at weekends,
171
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:07,078
seeing as we could never have him
then, when he was alive.
172
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,278
It's quite a lot
of toing and froing, though.
173
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,758
I was thinking he might be better
with us. At home.
174
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,800
The home that he chose to spend
most of his life.
175
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:18,840
Because it was his home.
176
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,558
I suppose we could divide him
in half.
177
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:24,398
You've got some bathroom scales,
haven't you, Mum? Is that hygienic?
178
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,918
I'll give them a wipe first.
We're not splitting him.
179
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:30,318
We only had half of him in life, so
I don't want half of him in death,
180
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,518
too. OK, well, maybe we should just
speed things up
181
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,758
and get on with the scattering.
Yeah, it's weird.
182
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,518
This will be the first time
we both know where he actually is.
183
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,478
MOBILE BEEPS
184
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,840
Oh!
185
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,478
God's sake, Marcus!
186
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,320
You're right, he has got fat hands!
187
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,358
At least we've got each other
out of this, eh?
188
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,638
If you'd told me as a kid
that I had an older sister...
189
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,558
You know there's only five days
between us? Serious?
190
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,998
I thought you
were, like, creeping 40!
191
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,878
God, I guess grief really does
take it out on some people.
192
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,638
OK, well, we'll chat later, then,
yeah?
193
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:08,318
For sure. I've got this
all-inclusive talk and text plan.
194
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,838
So, there is no limit to the amount
of texts I can send.
195
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,278
Great, that's...
196
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,640
Great.
197
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,718
MOBILE BEEPS
198
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,760
I just sent you the Bolivian flag.
199
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,318
For free.
200
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,040
You are welcome.
201
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:27,998
I'm so sorry.
202
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,198
Get out of my car.
203
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,398
ENGINE STARTS
204
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,920
OK.
205
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,038
I'll see you back at your mum's?
206
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,718
TYRES SCREECH
207
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,880
I LOVE YOU, CATHY.
208
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,718
What are you doing?
209
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,478
I don't want to think,
or be reminded,
210
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:57,920
of anything to do with him.
211
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,838
Look at this.
212
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:04,078
Never been used. All those years
of "golf practice".
213
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,718
Lying prick!
214
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,118
Mum, wait, wait!
Isn't this a bit sudden?
215
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,478
I don't know if I want you
to get rid of the boat.
216
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,998
Catkin was my nickname,
he named it after me.
217
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,358
How do you know he didn't call HER
Catkin too? Well, he wouldn't!
218
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,678
Would he? Mum, we need to talk
about Dad's ashes.
219
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,998
I went to go and see Catherine
and Marilyn today...
220
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,598
Please, don't say either of those
names in my presence.
221
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,958
Well, one of them is also my name,
so I'm not going to not say my name.
222
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,518
Anyway, tomorrow we're going to go
and look
223
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,518
at a few potential scatter spots,
224
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,478
and I think that you should
probably come with us.
225
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,798
I don't care what you do with his
stupid ashes.
226
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,080
Now, I've got a date.
227
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,598
I'm meeting a man from the internet.
228
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,758
Look, again, isn't this
all a bit sudden?
229
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,518
If anything, it's a bit late.
230
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,798
Your father was shoving it up
some woman for years.
231
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,438
I've got lost time to make up for.
232
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,118
And I am not going to sit around
233
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,840
watching telly like some sad,
cuckolded widow!
234
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,358
Can you ask Marcus to Sky-Plus
235
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,160
MasterChef: The Professionals
for me, please?
236
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,120
TEETH BRUSHING
237
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,160
BRUSHING STOPS
238
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,518
Please don't think you're getting
into this bed with me, Marcus.
239
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,120
Not after what you did.
240
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,440
Right.
241
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,958
Would it help if I went to stay
in a Holiday Inn, or...
242
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,838
You can't go to a hotel, because
then Mum will know we've broken up.
243
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,198
HAVE we broken up?
244
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,158
I don't know. Just...
245
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,158
go and sleep in the boat.
246
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,838
You can come in for breakfast,
she'll never know.
247
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:46,718
Cath, it's quite nippy and I really
don't want to sleep outside.
248
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,478
Well, I don't want updates of your
balls
249
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,358
from that woman you were
cyber-screwing!
250
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,038
How many did you send?
251
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:53,998
Just four.
252
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,358
But then, one of them was
accidentally on that Burst setting,
253
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,998
so it took about 16.
254
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,118
Oh, God, Cathy... Please go
and sleep in the boat!
255
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,558
Sure.
256
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:04,920
OK.
257
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:09,078
Just...text me
if you need anything.
258
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,998
And I've Tippexed over the camera,
so, no more, ever, ever!
259
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,398
Oh, that's a shame.
260
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,518
You can't photograph this!
261
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,000
I deserve that.
262
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,600
MUSIC PLAYS
263
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,678
Is this Joan Armatrading?
264
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,360
I LOVE Joan Armatrading.
265
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,758
This bit...
266
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:42,878
Oh, no, wait...
267
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:44,520
This bit.
268
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,520
Yeah, they always play her on Magic.
269
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,038
Ah!
270
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:52,998
Thank you for giving me a lift home.
271
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,720
I had such a great time.
272
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:01,758
Um, I don't usually do this,
273
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,960
but do you want to come in?
274
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,398
Thanks, but no, thanks.
275
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,918
Are you sure?
276
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,480
Are you sure I can't tempt you?
277
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,800
Thank you, but no, thank you.
278
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,440
Could I just get my £8 fare,
please?
279
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,840
CAR HORN
280
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,558
# Over Bridge of Sighs
281
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:49,758
# To rest my eyes
in shades of green
282
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,960
# Under dreaming spires... #
283
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,718
Hi! Hi.
284
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,440
Here you are.
285
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,278
Oh, I'm just going
to open the window there, Marilyn.
286
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,358
No, close it.
287
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,160
I don't like fresh air.
It dries me right out.
288
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,558
Part of her condition.
289
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,200
Road trip! Woo!
290
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,558
This is going to be so much fun!
291
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,438
Like, sad, but also fun.
292
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,318
Are you all right in the back there,
Marilyn?
293
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,718
Do you need an ashtray, or...
294
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,400
No, I'll just catch the ash
when it flops off.
295
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,398
Right, OK. Good.
296
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,280
Right, let's get this horrific
death recce on the road.
297
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,158
Where do you want to go to first?
298
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,118
We've got just the place.
299
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:42,440
Cool, pop it in the satnav.
Here we go.
300
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,440
SAT NAV: Right turn ahead.
301
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,120
You have reached
your destination.
302
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,478
This is it? It's perfect.
303
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,998
Mum can see the sandpit
from our bathroom window.
304
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,278
I've got so many fond memories
of this place.
305
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,278
Like, when I was 18,
I lost my virginity
306
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:08,798
on the sheep-shaped sit-on thing
307
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,678
on the giant spring over there.
I thought it was the roundabout?
308
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,918
No, it was definitely the
sheep-shaped sit-on thing
309
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,398
on the giant spring over there.
God, I love this park!
310
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,038
Come on, let's do this!
311
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,638
Yup, er, it's, um...
312
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,638
I like it, I do. But I was thinking
313
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,878
we should probably check out some
other suggestions
314
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:28,638
before we commit to this one option.
315
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,360
I don't think you can beat this.
316
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,878
OK, let's bear it in mind, shall we?
317
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,758
Um, also, we probably shouldn't
pour the ashes into the sand.
318
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:40,360
I mean, do we really want children
playing in our dead dad?
319
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,360
It's where we scattered our dog,
Misty.
320
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,240
I say scattered - she was buried.
321
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:54,558
Thank you.
322
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,200
I love your, um...
323
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,198
Is it a smock?
324
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,078
Oh, it's a kaftan.
325
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,158
Oh! I haven't worn it for years,
326
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,240
but I thought I'd dig it out
for the occasion.
327
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,358
So, I suppose you're a dab hand
328
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:14,318
at this internet dating thing?
329
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:19,078
Well, sure, I had a lot of fun
when I first joined Soul Mates,
330
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:23,280
but, um, I think I'm looking
for a bit more intimacy now.
331
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,560
Still up for a bit of fun, though,
right?
332
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:30,400
Um, yes.
333
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,160
Of course!
334
00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:37,320
To sex with strangers!
335
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,400
And...meaningful relationships.
336
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,478
So, this is my suggestion.
337
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,078
It's a seven-minute walk up that
footpath, if that.
338
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,718
I'm not getting out of the car.
339
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,798
Me neither. I don't trust nature.
340
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,638
Once, I got attacked by a magpie
behind the BP garage,
341
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,838
it just swooped down and pecked me
on the tit, for no reason.
342
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,558
It's not THAT wild, it's just a
really nice footpath up there.
343
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,998
Yeah, but is it going to mess up
my trainers, though?
344
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,598
OK! No offence, but firstly,
we are, like,
345
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,718
literally in the middle of nowhere.
346
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:14,238
And secondly, there is no way that
my mum is going to come up here.
347
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,238
There's no toilets, for a starter.
348
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,838
Yeah, but that's kind of the beauty
of it, isn't it?
349
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:22,358
Well, you tell my 57-year-old mother
to squat down and do a wild piss.
350
00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:25,278
Oh, come on, Cat, it's hardly
Bear Grylls out here.
351
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:28,358
Right, look, I'm sorry, but, you
know, this is not going to work.
352
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:30,798
I've only got one bar on my phone,
and what happens if I get
353
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,438
a Deliveroo order and I'm up here
still doing some mourning?
354
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,638
Here we are.
355
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,598
What, a tree? Yeah.
356
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,958
Me and Dad used to spend hours here
when I was little.
357
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,080
I used to fit in the hole in the
trunk. Thought it was a cave.
358
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,560
It looks like a gaping arse.
359
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,280
I wish you hadn't said that.
360
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:59,078
Sorry, it's a new card,
I just can't remember the PIN.
361
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,040
I've got it on my phone! Yes.
362
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:06,000
Yes, right. There you go.
363
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:08,840
Hurray!
364
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:14,878
I just, um, changed all my bank
cards back to my maiden name.
365
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,438
Oh, which is?
366
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:17,998
Guff.
367
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,318
Going back to being a Guff.
368
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,958
Oh, well, that's lovely.
369
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,038
Teresa Guff.
370
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,238
Sounds like a friend of Jane Austen.
Yeah, it's an awful name,
371
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,998
but I'd rather be a Guff than be
reminded of my bastard ex
372
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,440
every time I look at my Nectar card.
373
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,438
Are you sure I can't tempt you to
just one more drink?
374
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,038
Yeah, look, if I'd known
we were going to have a big one,
375
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,038
I wouldn't have brought the car.
376
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,678
Tell me,
what kind of car do you have?
377
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,118
A Kia.
378
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,318
Mmm!
379
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,800
It got an excellent fuel-efficiency
rating on "Which Car?"
380
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,280
I can give you a lift to the station
in it, if you like?
381
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,080
Yeah.
382
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,440
I don't think I've, um, ever been
inside a Kia before.
383
00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:18,398
All right, well, if we can't agree
where to scatter him,
384
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,678
then we are going to need a
compromise.
385
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,158
Sorry, can you put that
in the car bin?
386
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:24,958
Let's just keep things simple,
387
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,598
let's find the middle spot between
both our houses
388
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,280
and scatter them there.
389
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,758
OK, yeah, well, I guess that could
work.
390
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,758
Can you pass me the A-Z?
391
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,238
It's in the folder marked A-Z.
392
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,838
Next to the car hoover. Oh!
393
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:41,038
So organised.
Isn't she organised?
394
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,958
You've got that from your dad.
395
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,518
I suppose you'd have to be,
with two families.
396
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,000
Oh, God, I wish I had a ruler.
397
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,598
Bingo.
398
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,038
It's picking up my phone, isn't it?
399
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,838
I was up till 4am this morning
making this playlist.
400
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,960
I'm finding it really hard to sleep
at the moment.
401
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,078
Hang on, I know what song
we can play!
402
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,960
MUSIC: Goodbye Stranger
by Supertramp
403
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,918
My God, I love this song.
404
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,678
My dad used to play it on long
car journeys.
405
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,718
Yeah, he used to play this every
Tuesday when he was cooking
406
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,518
our curry. He never cooked for us.
407
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,638
You're lucky. It was awful.
408
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,438
Yeah, remember when he was making
a curry
409
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,000
and he covered it all in Bombay mix?
410
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,320
# And I must be moving on
411
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,078
# Like a king without a castle
412
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:35,598
# Like a queen without a throne
413
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,798
# I'm an early morning lover
414
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,078
# I must be moving on
415
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,958
# And I will go on shining
416
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,918
# Shining like brand new
417
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,758
# I'll never look behind me
418
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,920
# My troubles will be few
419
00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:00,918
# Goodbye, stranger, it's been nice
420
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:04,478
# Hope you find your paradise
421
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,638
# Tried to see your point of view
422
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:11,438
# Hope your dreams
will all come true
423
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,718
# Sweet devotion
Goodbye, Mary
424
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,798
# It's not for me
Goodbye, Jane
425
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,878
# Just give me motion
Will we ever
426
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,198
# To set me free
Meet again? #
427
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,000
THEY LAUGH
428
00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:28,398
Hey, Dad never called you Catkin,
did he?
429
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:29,878
No.
430
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,598
He used to call me Sugar Puff.
431
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,160
Basically because that's all I ate
until I was 18.
432
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,078
What's that burning smell?
433
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,798
Relax, it's just a bit of ash
in my hair.
434
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,560
And on the seat.
435
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,560
TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT
436
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:56,280
Well, that was lovely.
437
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:02,800
Wow!
438
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,718
OK.
439
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,398
Is there, um...
440
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,918
..anywhere we can park
that's a bit more private?
441
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:12,480
Are you sure?
442
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:24,238
Are you sure it's here?
Yeah, this is where the mark is.
443
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:25,958
I'm not getting out of the car.
444
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,560
Yeah, we know.
445
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,280
I suppose this is it, then.
446
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,478
Shall we get this
over and done with?
447
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,320
Yeah. Mum, pass my Dad.
448
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,358
I don't really know
how you're supposed to do this.
449
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:52,160
I guess you just, um, say a few
words and then pour it...
450
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,440
Or just pour it.
451
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:08,598
Are you all right?
452
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,358
Yeah.
453
00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:11,720
I just miss him, you know?
454
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,358
Like, I know he was a shit,
but he was my dad.
455
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:19,360
And he was the best one ever,
while we had him.
456
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,518
CAR HORN
457
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:28,840
What's that?
458
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:32,360
Is that your mum?
459
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,638
Um... Got it?
Yup, OK. Yeah...
460
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,318
Oh! Ooh! Aah!
461
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,998
Can you just... Yes, OK.
Are you all right? I think so, yes.
462
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,718
Are you all right? Yeah, yeah,
I'm fine, don't worry.
463
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:49,078
I'm really into this. It's just, er,
you know, it's a little bit, um...
464
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,518
Well, doing it in a car, in broad
daylight, next to the bottle bank...
465
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,680
I just really need to do this. OK.
466
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,718
No, no, I can't do this,
I can't do this, I can't...
467
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,080
I'm so sorry.
468
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,120
I miss him so much!
469
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,358
Oh, God!
470
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:18,920
Oh, God.
471
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,878
Are you all right, Paul?
472
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:23,718
Hi, Cat. You know him?
473
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:24,838
Yeah.
474
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,640
Tinder.
475
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:37,238
We can't leave him here,
it just doesn't feel right.
476
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:40,438
Could do with that stupid
car hoover.
477
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,600
Is that a fag butt? Yeah.
478
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,278
Now what do we do? I don't know.
479
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,358
But it was a dumb idea to scatter
him in one place.
480
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,360
I mean, who knows where else he
belongs?
481
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:57,800
You're absolutely right, Cat.
482
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:01,798
Marcus?
483
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:03,560
I need you to do a thing.
484
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,998
There's so much crap
in these ashes!
485
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,920
Is that a bit of polystyrene?
486
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,878
No, it's just a tooth.
487
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,160
Ugh.
488
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,238
Here you go. I could only find two.
489
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,438
Thanks for skiving out of work
for this.
490
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,240
I said I'd do anything for you,
and I mean it.
491
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,318
What are those - fireworks?
492
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,358
No, they're distress flares from
Dad's boat.
493
00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:41,558
What, Dad's got a boat? Yeah.
494
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,080
Here, Mum, we've got half a boat!
495
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,200
So, um, pour the ashes into these.
496
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,678
Ooh! Sorry, Dad. OK.
497
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,920
Careful. Right, right, sorry.
498
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:01,358
Right, OK.
499
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:03,120
Cheers.
500
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,400
Right...
501
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,040
Three, two, one!
502
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:42,400
This is the first proper view
I've seen in years.
503
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,398
I really loved him.
504
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,960
I know you did, Mum. We all did.
505
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,600
Maybe that's why I didn't see it,
because I loved him.
506
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,000
I know everyone thinks
I'm a naive idiot, but...
507
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,198
I genuinely, genuinely
thought he had golf practice
508
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,920
every Tuesday and Thursday.
509
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,840
He never came to us on a Thursday.
510
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,200
POLICE SIREN
511
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,478
Is that the police? Oh, God.
512
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,998
Oh, God,
I know what they're here for!
513
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,798
Just go, Cathy, leave!
514
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,078
I'm the one who sent those photos.
515
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,118
I have to face this like a man.
516
00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:28,038
Go on, Cathy, get out of here!
517
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,838
Is that really
why they're arresting him?
518
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:32,638
No, we let off distress flares.
519
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:35,400
They have to come and check it out.
I know why you're here.
520
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:40,880
Tinder, innit?
61861
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Tatar
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof