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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,608
How you do it?
You just throw it like that?
3
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,411
Looks like I won.
Man, if you don"t get
4
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,253
your hands off my money...
Please.
5
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:23,683
I ain"t never gonna go broke.
6
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,294
Roll that shit again.
7
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:28,856
Brother, put your money in.
Can"t win unless you play.
8
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:31,256
You gotta throw it in there.
There we go.
9
00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:35,759
Am I right? Slipped right out
of my hands. Look at that.
10
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,833
Yo, Bunz, we gotta go.
11
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,803
Seriously, his sister"s
got some ill will.
12
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:44,812
This is going to a good cause.
Sorry I gotta go like this.
13
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:47,635
Next time, to keep your shit,
you gotta know when to quit.
14
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,341
Let"s leave. Quickly.
15
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,053
Hey, brothers, y"all stay broke.
I mean, stay black.
16
00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:54,876
Lucky you stopped me. I was about
to buy a condo in midtown.
17
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,622
Hell, yeah.
Lucky I stopped you?
18
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:59,517
I can tell Nikki,
"We was late because
19
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,490
Bunz was on his
knees playing dice."
20
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:05,290
Playing? I was the MVP. You didn"t
hear the roar of the crowd?
21
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:07,664
Don"t want your cut?
22
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:08,831
I ain"t saying that.
23
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,659
Fuck you, motherfucker.
Get out
24
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,474
of my shit,
know what I"m saying?
25
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:15,296
I don"t need your tired ass!
Go back to your skank ho!
26
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:17,213
She called and left
her fucking number
27
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,135
and I caught
your ass in the act!
28
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,310
Big nose,
pop eyes, receding hairline.
29
00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:24,279
Truth is,
you can"t win, motherfucker!
30
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:29,248
Let me see you rise now, motherfucker!
No, I don"t think so!
31
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:32,550
Man, you ain"t got to take that.
Jab back, baby. Jab back.
32
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,393
Hold up one
motherfucking minute!
33
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:37,528
When I need Howard Cosell,
I will call Howard Cosell!
34
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:40,085
Take your fake-dreaded ass,
pick up Mighty Mouse...
35
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:44,274
and skippity-doo your
rank ass home, motherfucker!
36
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:47,165
Better run, man!
Got a greyhound on your back!
37
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:50,268
See? That "s why I don" t
like relationships, man.
38
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,441
That why I strictly deal
with booty calls.
39
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,380
Three a.m.,
no questions asked.
40
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,835
Speaking of that, I don"t
wanna do this blind date.
41
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,914
You go do your thing.
L"m gonna
42
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,012
go back and try to
win me some money.
43
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:05,054
Hey, you can do what you want, Bunz, okay?
But this girl is fine.
44
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,593
Miss Butterworth fine.
45
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,388
It"s up to you.
46
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,290
Miss Butterworth gives me gas.
47
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:15,202
Rushon, define "fine."
What does the girl look like?
48
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:18,096
I ain"t sitting at the table
with no wildebeest.
49
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,268
I got a reputation.
You know what I"m saying?
50
00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:24,909
What about that fruit bat
you left the party with?
51
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,136
I was gonna tell you about that.
52
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,742
That girl put something
in my drink, man. L"m serious.
53
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,654
Because I wouldn"t
go out like that.
54
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,146
The girl had a beard.
55
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:35,548
She did not have a beard.
56
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,019
She had a beard.
She had hair...
57
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,517
She did not have a beard.
58
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:41,419
She had a goatee.
Real nice and thin...
59
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:44,726
If your girl ain"t Chinese,
then why the
60
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,725
hell she live way
down in Chinatown?
61
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:49,197
Good neighbourhood,
nice apartment.
62
00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:51,597
Her girlfriend
lives across the hall.
63
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:55,269
The girlfriend is Chinese.
You thought I"d be upset.
64
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:58,269
I don"t mind having a little
Rice Krispies on my plate.
65
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,042
That means she know how
to pan-fry this noodle.
66
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,511
She"s not Chinese.
67
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,210
Then what"s going on?
Watch yourself.
68
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:07,782
Chinese or not, she could still
snuggle up on these egg rolls.
69
00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:11,351
You know what I"m saying?
They lower in fat.
70
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:14,362
See, that "s the reason why I" II
never take your ass nowhere.
71
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:16,955
You take me everywhere. If I
was a girl, we"d be dating.
72
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:21,192
Rushon"s friend is cute, right?
73
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,155
Oh, he"s cute enough.
74
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,533
No, no, no.
You said he was cute.
75
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:28,603
L"m not asking you to have
the man"s baby.
76
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,742
Just run a little interference for me.
Know what I"m saying?
77
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:36,579
Okay. But he does have
class, though, right?
78
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:39,577
You know I do not mess with
anyone that does not have class.
79
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:43,820
Trust me. He is in a class
all by hisself.
80
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:49,093
Yo, man, what kind of name
is Lystie anyway?
81
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,719
It"s short for Lysterine.
82
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,694
That"s motherfucking mouthwash.
83
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,963
What"s up with
these wack-ass names?
84
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:57,032
I went out with this
girl named Genoria,
85
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,230
but she spelled it
like "gonorrhoea."
86
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,733
I can"t put that on a postcard.
87
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,604
It"s Lysterine
with a Y, not an I.
88
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:05,543
Oh, that makes all the
difference in the world, Rushon.
89
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,209
The point is
you"re doing this for me.
90
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,478
L"ve been going out with Nikki
for seven weeks...
91
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:12,608
Seven weeks? And you
ain"t hit that ass yet?
92
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,053
Hey, man, I like her, okay?
93
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,877
"Hey, man, I like her, okay?"
94
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:20,017
Nikki,
why are you taking so long?
95
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,490
I can"t go out like this.
96
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:22,959
Here we go. Like what?
97
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,986
My cleavage is hanging out.
98
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:27,032
Cleavage?
99
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:29,757
I just don"t wanna send out
the wrong signal.
100
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,033
I think anyone
that"s put up with you for
101
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:34,402
seven weeks
deserves some nay-nay.
102
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:35,542
Oh, really?
103
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,706
Nikki...
104
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,835
why are you making Rushon
wait so long?
105
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:43,940
He seems like he "s a good man. He" s
got a career. He treats you nice.
106
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,054
I know.
107
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,376
I just wanna make sure
that he"s the right one.
108
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,392
Just don"t leave
me alone with him.
109
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,715
Sounds like he"s not the only one
feeling the seven-week itch.
110
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,862
It is not even like that.
111
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,861
You better watch
that smile, then.
112
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:01,961
Can we please go?
113
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,529
All right.
114
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:05,771
This is how I peep the
situation, like this.
115
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,836
I think that college got you
too sensitive.
116
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,365
Sensitive?
117
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,300
You ain"t got no
player left in you.
118
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:14,535
If I was you, I wouldn"t let the
sun rise without tagging that ass.
119
00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:16,542
If it was me,
I"d have that ass bouncing
120
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,584
like a low rider in a Dr.
Dre video.
121
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:22,649
I say, " Miss Nikki, tonight is the night.
It"s a one-time offer."
122
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,620
She wanna give it
to you tomorrow,
123
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,648
you say,
" No, tomorrow"s too late."
124
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:28,664
It"s not that simple.
125
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,956
Not for somebody who"s slipping.
126
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,428
"Put me in the players" section.
127
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,886
L"m not slipping.
128
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,734
You slipping
like a motherfucker.
129
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:39,899
Look, Nikki and I are gonna
do our thing tonight.
130
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,940
She knows it, and I know it.
131
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,865
I don"t know why I
disrespected you.
132
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,971
But you"re
a gambling man, right?
133
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:49,413
Why don"t you put your money
where your mack is.
134
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,410
I won"t bet money
on something like that.
135
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:54,552
We don"t have to bet money. Let"s
just make it a gentleman"s bet.
136
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,178
We"re gentlemen, right?
137
00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,348
Not gonna let this go?
138
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:00,453
Come on, big daddy...
139
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:03,691
big player,
big pimp, big baller.
140
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:08,726
There you go, that"s my boy.
You go the fuck on.
141
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:12,369
He"s celebrating his bar mitzvah.
He just got circumcised.
142
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:13,766
Go on with your food.
143
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:20,666
Oh, Rushon. It"s so good
to see you this evening.
144
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,714
And who is your friend?
145
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:27,350
Hello. My name is Chan, and I"m
here to serve you tonight.
146
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,848
Hey, brother. Rushon?
147
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:33,420
Chan, we"re waiting on
our dinner guests.
148
00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:39,131
I think your hair is three
things: Fa-bu-Ious.
149
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:46,796
Well, I got three things for
you: Back up, Yoko Ono.
150
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,700
Oh, nigga, please.
151
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,072
They"re here.
152
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,413
Look, these girls
got a lot of class.
153
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:57,809
So act like you got
a little bit of sense.
154
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:01,111
Like you got a mama. Like you
wasn"t mixed up in some test tube.
155
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:04,654
We should move to a table
with better light.
156
00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:06,652
What"s wrong with
the light here?
157
00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:08,724
I can"t get with
ladies in muted light.
158
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:13,092
I need a good look. Anybody
can look good in dim light.
159
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:16,103
How many times you go to a club,
and under the disco lights...
160
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:19,066
the girl look good?
You having a good time.
161
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:22,266
But the next day you go to pick her up.
You"re all happy and shit.
162
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,539
But it"s high noon.
She comes out the house...
163
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:28,938
and a fucking sea donkey
climbs into your car.
164
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:32,712
I believe in a brother"s right to
know what the hell he"s feeding...
165
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,583
Man, just get up.
166
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:41,051
Lysterine, this is
Rushon"s friend, Bunz.
167
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:44,294
Hey, now, I was...
168
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,964
Excuse me.
169
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,530
What do you think you are doing?
170
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,570
Did you see that
tarantula-hair fool?
171
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,695
Motherfucker look like Predator.
172
00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:55,941
It"s just dinner.
Some egg rolls, mu shu,
173
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,436
and we out.
Girl, why are you tripping?
174
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,508
She don"t look like
she want my shit, man.
175
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:03,038
No, she"s on you.
She"s just nervous.
176
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,114
It"s a blind date. All right?
177
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,052
All right. Right.
178
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,947
Everybody"s got a weakness.
179
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,589
Who knows? You and Bunz
just might hit it off.
180
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,815
Bunz?
181
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:16,761
You blind-date me with
a little "hood-rat named Bunz?"
182
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:18,487
Girl, have you lost your mind?
183
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:21,532
No. I can"t get
with a brother named Bunz.
184
00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:24,029
No, but it"s Bunz
with a Z, not an S.
185
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:29,774
You never can be too ready.
186
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,114
Just do this for me, please.
187
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:36,806
You owe me.
188
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,050
Big-time. Now, let"s roll.
189
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:45,586
Ladies, you look good.
190
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:50,160
So, what"s up?
191
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,987
Nothing.
192
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,762
Are we ready to order?
193
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:56,261
I am.
I want the shrimp fried rice.
194
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:59,133
Make that two, please.
195
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:03,102
Perfect, and I will have the
prawns in garlic sauce.
196
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,143
And you, Miss Thang?
197
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,336
Excuse me?
198
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,760
You got her with
the "Miss Thang."
199
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,810
You eating or just looking?
200
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:16,753
Okay, boyfriend. I want a lobster
tail in butter-wine sauce.
201
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,690
And we girls want
a bottle of Moet.
202
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,946
Damn, girl, why you gotta order
203
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:23,324
the most expensive
shit on the menu?
204
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,163
Rushon,
you need to check your boy.
205
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,188
Check my ass.
206
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,364
That "s what I" m talking about,
is the check.
207
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,262
Now, the lobster don"t even have
208
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,234
a price.
It just says "seasonal."
209
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,603
So you know what that means,
a brother gotta pay $28.
210
00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:38,974
And if I get you
lobster and some Moet,
211
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:41,572
you know what"s
happening after that.
212
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,635
No, what does happen?
213
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:47,554
L"m going deep-sea diving.
214
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,747
Bunz, this is a platinum card.
215
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:54,051
I could buy and sell your ashy
black, blue-collared ass.
216
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,424
Is that right?
217
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,885
Yes, it is.
218
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,060
Well, lookie here.
219
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,055
What is that?
220
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,663
It"s a gold gas card.
221
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:07,625
That means I can buy
all the gas I want...
222
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:10,335
in all 50 states
and 11 foreign countries.
223
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,137
And I got
platinum privileges too.
224
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:13,839
Because,
you know, if you buy enough
225
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:15,341
gas, they give you coffee mugs.
226
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,984
A gas card?
You don"t even got a car.
227
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:21,049
Why you putting
me on front street?
228
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:25,048
L"II have you to know that I laid
away a "68 Chevy Super Sport...
229
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:31,292
with a 427-cubic inch twin
cam with a Hurst gearshift.
230
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:35,301
Sounds like a man who has some
serious doubts about his manhood.
231
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:41,765
Those cars are nothing but extensions
of your penis or lack thereof.
232
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:46,209
Yeah. You"re right, because
my dick is only two inches...
233
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,406
from the ground.
234
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:49,938
Isn"t he grand?
235
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:55,149
Can"t get
a brother"s order straight.
236
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:59,348
Look, I ordered shrimp fried rice.
Can I get some shrimp?
237
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:03,492
Oh, there is one shrimp there
and another shrimp here.
238
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,860
What"s with
the green leafy stuff? You
239
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,159
trying to fool
a brother with shrubbery.
240
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:13,901
Child, that"s garnishment.
Make your food look good.
241
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:17,871
What will make my food look
good is five extra shrimp.
242
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:22,136
I thought there was no smoking
in this restaurant.
243
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,346
L"II take care of this.
244
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,247
Bunz, sit down.
245
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:32,619
That"s the notorious Ug Lee, the
godfather of the Leuang Triad.
246
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,290
He runs Chinatown.
247
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,957
Yeah,
I know, I got all his albums.
248
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,486
L"II tell him
you said what"s up.
249
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,373
I know you impressed.
250
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:21,095
You probably thought I was
just a common "hood-rat, huh?"
251
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,443
I didn"t know you spoke Chinese.
252
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,480
Wasn"t like I could speak it
to your ass.
253
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,710
Where"d you learn?
254
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,712
Watching kung fu movies.
255
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,883
Me and my father, we always
watched kung fu movies.
256
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,823
They got subtitles.
257
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,848
Our TV didn"t have
a vertical hold.
258
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:42,923
What I "d do is, I" d get the kung
fu videos and listen to them.
259
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:45,733
Bit by bit, I started
understanding them motherfuckers.
260
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,785
One time I went to
the Chinese laundry...
261
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:50,495
and all the shit that sounded
like, "Ping, ting, pang"...
262
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,767
started making sense.
263
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,566
So why didn "t y" all
just buy a new TV?
264
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,498
Everybody ain"t got
no platinum card.
265
00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,944
You know, there is some
poor folk out in the world.
266
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:03,081
How"s your shrimp, baby?
267
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,006
He ain"t got no
shrimp over there.
268
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,752
Oh, here"s one.
269
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,517
You can have it, baby.
270
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:15,089
Oh, my goodness, you whipped.
That boy is whipped.
271
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:20,034
You know what? You need to
pay attention and learn.
272
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:22,627
All he did was gave you
a old crusty-ass shrimp.
273
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:25,269
There "s that" hood-rat
emerging again.
274
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:47,490
No fighting in restaurant. Cost
you extra to fight in restaurant.
275
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,162
Fuck me?
276
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,026
My mother?
My mother?
277
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:59,169
Suck these fortune-cookie nuts
and read your future...
278
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:02,336
You are a horse-mouth bitch
motherfucker.
279
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:05,035
I will stick my elbow
sideways up your ass.
280
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:59,329
Hold this for me, baby.
Thank you.
281
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,103
Bring it. Send it.
282
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:13,667
All that, now. That ain"t nothing
but some old beginner"s luck.
283
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,143
Here"s a little
cleavage for mommy.
284
00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:16,642
Thank you.
285
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,583
Cleavage? She needs a whole...
286
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:25,046
Well, anyway...
287
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,432
See, that "s why you" re losing.
288
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,316
Yeah,
I "m losing, but I ain" t lost.
289
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:50,343
So nice.
So sweet. Give it up, nigga.
290
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:55,323
L"m in the money. What? We in the money.
Got a little cleavage here.
291
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,191
Beginner"s luck, huh?
292
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,494
Shit happens.
293
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,129
You tripping.
294
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:42,598
L"m tripping?
295
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,206
It"s a little messy in here.
296
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:29,878
Girl, don"t even worry about it.
297
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:32,476
It"s about to get real messy.
Ready?
298
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:35,179
L"m gonna do my thing.
Here we go.
299
00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:44,288
Excuse me, but where do you
two think you"re going?
300
00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:45,891
Thought I"d put
on some mood music
301
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,632
so we could dance a little bit.
302
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:50,127
I think you have done enough
dancing for tonight.
303
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:53,230
Come on, you got the ambience here.
You know how we do it, girl.
304
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:57,473
Look, the only reason why we came
up here is to play some cards.
305
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,570
After that,
you two are going home.
306
00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:05,349
Dog, if you don"t...
What is it?
307
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,046
L"m going to kick your ass.
308
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,048
Leave Killa alone.
He does live here,
309
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,050
and you are just visiting, Bunz.
310
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,692
Well, if we was really in China,
311
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:16,417
I"d have his
ass honey-roasted.
312
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,927
Play, Nikki.
313
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,301
Somebody"s cheating.
314
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:24,896
Something"s going on.
315
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,327
I wish something was going on.
316
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:27,733
Y"all are just mad...
317
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:31,244
because you losing.
I heard that, Rushon.
318
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:32,908
Caught you slipping again.
319
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,705
Oh, that "s funny to y" all?
320
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:36,707
A guy with a girl
for seven weeks,
321
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,679
don"t get no intimacy,
and that"s funny?
322
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,908
Maybe the girl
wants a relationship
323
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,283
and isn"t
interested in casual sex.
324
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,753
Maybe the girl wants
a deeper commitment.
325
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,622
Maybe the girl
wants a soul mate.
326
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,220
Maybe the girl got
some soul-searching to do.
327
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:52,403
Maybe got a brother uptown
with a 9-inch ding-dong...
328
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,192
knocking
the bottom out your ass.
329
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,157
Shut up!
330
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,623
I think it"s
a legitimate question.
331
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,334
If I was going out
with a girl for seven
332
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:01,432
weeks, know what she"d be doing?
333
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,504
She"d be playing the meat flute.
Riding the bologna pony.
334
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:07,814
Eating tube steak, but you gotta
work a little for the gravy.
335
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:11,707
Can I get some?
Excuse me.
336
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,851
Thanks so much
for sharing that with us.
337
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,776
L"ve been trying
to share this big
338
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,922
paloosa with you
all night, but you...
339
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:21,817
Oh, boy, am I getting tired.
Ain"t you tired, Bunz?
340
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:24,321
You know what,
I"m getting tired myself.
341
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:25,701
It is getting
a little late, though.
342
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,125
Lystie.
343
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,596
Nikki. It is getting late.
344
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:32,156
Look, since y"all tired,
and we definitely tired...
345
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,765
y"all go ahead.
We can kick it here.
346
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:38,507
No, let"s still play cards.
Ain"t nobody going nowhere.
347
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,169
What?
So, Lystie.
348
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:43,314
Can I ask you
a hypothetical question?
349
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,980
Have you ever
made a brother wait
350
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,747
seven weeks to get
up on that thing?
351
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,516
Why are you asking her?
She ain"t
352
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,845
never made a man
wait 30 minutes.
353
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,950
Do I smell a whore?
354
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:57,162
No, see, I have full
confidence in my sexuality.
355
00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,486
And I don"t toil over it,
unlike some prudes that I know.
356
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,303
Prude.
Prude?
357
00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:06,295
Oh, see, I am nobody"s prude. I just
don"t wanna rush into having sex.
358
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:09,339
And, see, that may be hard
for you to understand.
359
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:12,436
Oh, really? Well, you might
be able to understand that...
360
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:15,269
if you cleared away those
cobwebs from your coochie.
361
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:19,306
Coochie cobwebs?
362
00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:21,312
Why don"t we just deal.
363
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:23,654
Don"t stop now.
I wanna see them box.
364
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:27,020
Let"s get ready to rumble!
365
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:33,827
What"s up?
Y"all ready for another one?
366
00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:36,764
L"d rather be shopping.
367
00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:40,804
Well, where is
the love in this room?
368
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,900
I got plenty of love, I just
can"t seem to get to it.
369
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,736
Do you ever stop?
370
00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:51,881
No. I don"t ever stop.
371
00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:53,208
Oh, really?
372
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:54,576
Really.
373
00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:54,872
So are we gonna
play cards or what?
374
00:23:09,422 --> 00:23:11,422
Oh, girl...
375
00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:13,694
your feet are kind of strong,
376
00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:15,933
but the softest
feet in the world.
377
00:23:18,998 --> 00:23:20,868
Damn, man!
378
00:23:20,967 --> 00:23:24,397
Get those big, jungle-rot,
alligator feet off mine!
379
00:23:24,504 --> 00:23:27,574
"You could snatch a salmon
with them eagles" claws!
380
00:23:27,674 --> 00:23:29,414
Big old cheese knots...
381
00:23:30,677 --> 00:23:32,577
Damn, something winked at me.
382
00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:34,649
Feet look like they played
soccer with wolves.
383
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:37,677
Get your feet off me, man.
Look like monkey hands.
384
00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:46,057
Well...
385
00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:04,714
Suck it. Oh, yes...
386
00:24:11,684 --> 00:24:13,854
Oh, you gonna play
with a brother"s ass.
387
00:24:17,590 --> 00:24:22,390
You the MVP. A little lower.
Hit me on the taint.
388
00:24:22,495 --> 00:24:24,855
It "t"ain"t" the ass
and it "t"ain"t" the lip.
389
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:28,844
Man, you talk about toe jam.
390
00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:30,635
Let me get my head together.
391
00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:36,540
L"m about to cramp up.
392
00:24:39,746 --> 00:24:42,876
I got a little cramp in my leg.
You got any napkins?
393
00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:48,386
You know, I think I left
my gas on in my stove.
394
00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:50,057
Bunz, you know how
to work a pilot?
395
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:52,016
Yeah.
396
00:24:52,124 --> 00:24:55,194
Lystie, your stove"s
not even hooked up yet.
397
00:24:55,294 --> 00:24:57,704
You know what,
and speaking of remodelling...
398
00:24:57,797 --> 00:25:00,897
I"ve got some paint samples
that I need to mix.
399
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,970
Do you think you can assist me?
400
00:25:04,070 --> 00:25:07,070
I sure the fuck could, girl.
That "s my shit. Let" s go.
401
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:10,683
Hold up. Excuse me. Where do
you guys think you"re going?
402
00:25:10,777 --> 00:25:12,407
Nikki, we are gonna head on out.
403
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:14,081
You ain"t even
played the hand yet.
404
00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:15,750
We just did.
We just did.
405
00:25:15,848 --> 00:25:17,778
Lystie, wait a minute...
Ciao.
406
00:25:17,884 --> 00:25:18,994
Woman, mind your business.
407
00:25:19,085 --> 00:25:20,185
No, wait...
408
00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:28,055
Give me that.
409
00:25:31,230 --> 00:25:32,770
Oh, yes.
410
00:25:32,865 --> 00:25:35,865
Oh, baby. All you got to do
is tell me how you like it.
411
00:25:35,968 --> 00:25:38,268
Oh, no, baby, you might think
I"m freaky.
412
00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:40,570
I don "t think you" re freaky.
413
00:25:40,673 --> 00:25:43,243
It really turns me on
when a man can do impressions.
414
00:25:43,342 --> 00:25:45,112
Imitations?
Imitations.
415
00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:47,951
Imitations, yeah.
Like, powerful men.
416
00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:50,717
Men of authority.
Men like Jesse Jackson.
417
00:25:52,184 --> 00:25:53,954
Yes.
Jesse Jackson?
418
00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:55,924
Do Jesse.
419
00:25:56,022 --> 00:25:56,922
Hands that used
to pick cotton...
420
00:25:57,023 --> 00:25:58,463
can now pick the president?
421
00:25:58,691 --> 00:26:00,361
Oh, yeah.
422
00:26:00,593 --> 00:26:02,463
Oh, shit.
423
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,131
The rhinoceros,
though not as prolific
424
00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:05,930
as others in
the animal kingdom...
425
00:26:06,032 --> 00:26:08,132
is nonetheless as enthusiastic.
426
00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:11,744
Watch as the 4000-pound beast
rises to the occasion.
427
00:26:11,838 --> 00:26:15,638
Wax that 4000-pound ass.
428
00:26:18,144 --> 00:26:21,384
Killa, stop that. No!
429
00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:23,650
Oh, it"s all right.
430
00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:25,150
He"s only human, right?
431
00:26:25,251 --> 00:26:28,221
How come you didn"t pet Killa
when Bunz was here?
432
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,860
I think he"s a bad influence on you.
I do.
433
00:26:30,957 --> 00:26:34,787
Just let me say that
the ass is round.
434
00:26:34,894 --> 00:26:38,234
And you know that I"m down,
bipartisan.
435
00:26:38,330 --> 00:26:41,370
And we can work
it to the ground.
436
00:26:41,467 --> 00:26:44,337
When I hit the skins,
we can both join
437
00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:47,406
together and say,
"I am somebody."
438
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:48,606
I am. Somebody.
439
00:26:48,708 --> 00:26:50,538
I am. Somebody.
440
00:26:50,643 --> 00:26:52,343
I am...
Say it loud. I am...
441
00:26:52,444 --> 00:26:54,984
somebody. Hallelujah.
Somebody. Somebody!
442
00:26:55,081 --> 00:26:57,121
Hallelujah!
Smack my ass!
443
00:26:57,216 --> 00:27:01,116
Do you know how sweet you are?
How nice you are?
444
00:27:01,220 --> 00:27:05,190
Then your boys come around,
it"s like,"What"s up, nigga?"
445
00:27:05,291 --> 00:27:07,091
Now, who you checking for?
Me...
446
00:27:07,193 --> 00:27:10,903
or Bunz?
- You.
447
00:27:10,997 --> 00:27:12,274
L"m
the heavyweight boxing champ.
448
00:27:12,298 --> 00:27:13,698
Yes, Michael.
449
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:14,977
I don"t care what people think.
450
00:27:15,001 --> 00:27:16,201
Yes, Michael.
451
00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:18,572
It"s ludicrous how
soft your skin is.
452
00:27:18,771 --> 00:27:21,371
It"s soft for you, baby.
453
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,813
Reminds me of the leather
on my first gloves.
454
00:27:23,910 --> 00:27:25,280
Work it.
455
00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:26,388
It makes me wanna work out.
456
00:27:26,412 --> 00:27:27,482
Work it, Mike.
457
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:28,920
Just work it, Mike!
458
00:27:29,015 --> 00:27:30,115
Yes, work it!
459
00:27:30,216 --> 00:27:31,246
Oh, you"re so vicious!
460
00:27:35,688 --> 00:27:38,788
Work it! Work it! Work it!
461
00:27:46,132 --> 00:27:47,332
Wait.
462
00:27:47,433 --> 00:27:49,243
What? What? What?
463
00:27:49,335 --> 00:27:52,335
Rushon, do you have a condom? I want
this, I just don"t wanna die for it.
464
00:27:52,438 --> 00:27:54,168
Yes.
Condom?
465
00:27:54,273 --> 00:27:56,813
Yeah, I got a condom right in the coat.
You want a condom?
466
00:28:00,312 --> 00:28:02,922
I got a condom right here.
Right here, just like I said.
467
00:28:05,451 --> 00:28:10,261
Here you go. Safe sex. Here we go, girl.
L"II do my thing.
468
00:28:11,824 --> 00:28:14,164
Wait. Stop. Stay.
469
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,355
Come here, baby.
470
00:28:25,437 --> 00:28:30,507
I would like to take my time
while I"m knocking the boots.
471
00:28:30,743 --> 00:28:32,083
Go, Bill.
472
00:28:35,882 --> 00:28:38,722
First, I start with
the breasts because
473
00:28:38,818 --> 00:28:41,418
nipples are so
chocolatey and smooth.
474
00:28:43,589 --> 00:28:46,659
And then I work my way on down
to the love triangle.
475
00:28:46,759 --> 00:28:50,429
You like it. L"m kissing it
and licking it...
476
00:28:50,529 --> 00:28:52,299
and thinking about sticking it.
477
00:28:52,398 --> 00:28:55,098
When I get there,
it"II be smooth and creamy...
478
00:28:55,201 --> 00:28:58,241
just like
the Jell-O pudding.
479
00:29:02,174 --> 00:29:04,544
Give me this goddamn condom,
you little...
480
00:29:04,777 --> 00:29:06,147
Rushon!
481
00:29:10,116 --> 00:29:11,746
There you go.
482
00:29:13,886 --> 00:29:15,916
A dog"s mouth is cleaner
than a human"s.
483
00:29:16,022 --> 00:29:17,192
Rushon.
484
00:29:17,289 --> 00:29:18,566
You thought I"d
use this on you...
485
00:29:18,590 --> 00:29:20,330
after it"d been
in the dog"s mouth?
486
00:29:20,426 --> 00:29:23,396
L"II go ahead and
get me another one.
487
00:29:23,495 --> 00:29:25,425
Don"t be kicking my dog.
488
00:29:25,531 --> 00:29:28,201
Oh, you go, Bill.
489
00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:31,240
Have your little somethin
"-somethin" and a smile.
490
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,910
Feel it, yes.
Feel it. Feel it. Oh, yes.
491
00:29:39,245 --> 00:29:41,945
Hey, Bunz, you got any condoms?
492
00:29:42,048 --> 00:29:44,678
Stardate 2102:
493
00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:49,923
L"m without contraceptives, so
please leave me the fuck alone.
494
00:29:50,022 --> 00:29:52,122
Damn.
495
00:29:54,526 --> 00:29:56,896
So she was really
doing it with Bunz?
496
00:29:56,996 --> 00:29:59,466
Sounded more like Bill Cosby
up in there.
497
00:29:59,565 --> 00:30:02,395
Lysterine always has been
a little kinky.
498
00:30:02,501 --> 00:30:04,201
No.
L"II call her.
499
00:30:04,303 --> 00:30:07,943
Come on,
let the boy do what he do.
500
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,780
And I"m gonna do what I do.
501
00:30:09,876 --> 00:30:12,036
Shit, it"s throwing me off.
Hold on.
502
00:30:12,879 --> 00:30:14,479
Let me listen.
503
00:30:14,580 --> 00:30:16,820
Longevity has its place.
504
00:30:16,916 --> 00:30:21,086
I may not get to the mountaintop
with you, but I have a dream.
505
00:30:21,187 --> 00:30:22,987
I have a dream too.
506
00:30:23,089 --> 00:30:26,229
I have a dream that one day,
every valley shall be explored.
507
00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:28,325
Explored.
508
00:30:28,427 --> 00:30:31,457
Every hill and every mountain
shall be fondled.
509
00:30:31,563 --> 00:30:34,273
I have a dream
that all the rough places...
510
00:30:34,366 --> 00:30:37,436
will be laid smooth and all the
crooked places laid straight.
511
00:30:37,536 --> 00:30:38,906
Lay it straight!
512
00:30:39,005 --> 00:30:42,465
And I can look down upon
the voluptuous woman and say:
513
00:30:42,574 --> 00:30:44,344
What you gonna say?
514
00:30:44,443 --> 00:30:46,153
" L"II wax that ass!
L"II wax that ass.
515
00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:48,946
Lord have mercy,
I "II wax that ass!"
516
00:30:49,048 --> 00:30:50,618
Say it, brother!
517
00:30:50,716 --> 00:30:53,316
L"II go bananas
up in that rump shaker.
518
00:30:53,419 --> 00:30:55,519
Lystie, what are you
over there doing?
519
00:30:57,890 --> 00:30:59,230
Nikki. Nothing.
520
00:30:59,325 --> 00:31:01,085
Nothing, my ass...
521
00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:04,803
I know you are not having unprotected
sex with Martin Luther King.
522
00:31:04,897 --> 00:31:07,567
Unsafe sex can be deadly.
You know that.
523
00:31:07,666 --> 00:31:12,236
Nik, Dr. King"s
about to rock my world.
524
00:31:13,439 --> 00:31:15,909
Girl, have you lost your mind?
525
00:31:16,008 --> 00:31:19,848
You don "t know Bunz. You don" t
know where he came from.
526
00:31:19,946 --> 00:31:22,376
Nikki. You better go
get you a condom.
527
00:31:22,481 --> 00:31:29,021
You take a hard look at Bunz and
tell me you don"t need a condom.
528
00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:31,221
I ain"t got
nothing to do with this.
529
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,133
What"s the problem?
We going to do this, or what?
530
00:31:42,034 --> 00:31:43,304
Bunz, I"m sorry.
531
00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:46,142
Don"t even worry about it.
Let"s just go get the condoms.
532
00:31:47,106 --> 00:31:48,766
No, it is not what you think.
533
00:31:49,008 --> 00:31:50,808
Yes, it is.
534
00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:53,349
Nikki"s about to
get her groove on.
535
00:31:53,445 --> 00:31:56,245
No, no, no. See, I told him
he can go to the store...
536
00:31:56,348 --> 00:31:58,418
pick up some condoms,
and that"s it.
537
00:31:58,517 --> 00:32:00,187
Let"s just do what we gotta do.
538
00:32:00,286 --> 00:32:01,846
I was doing what I had to do.
539
00:32:01,954 --> 00:32:03,494
I don"t know
about you, but I was
540
00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:05,159
doing everything I had to do...
541
00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:07,357
to get what I needed to do done.
542
00:32:07,459 --> 00:32:09,529
You"re gonna give
the brother the keys
543
00:32:09,628 --> 00:32:12,828
to the car and not
let him drive it?
544
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:17,001
Why are you asking all these
questions, Miss All-Up-in-My-Business?
545
00:32:17,103 --> 00:32:18,973
What are you gonna be doing?
546
00:32:19,071 --> 00:32:21,071
Would you really like to know?
547
00:32:21,173 --> 00:32:22,250
Oh, God.
I don"t even wanna know.
548
00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:23,484
No.
549
00:32:23,575 --> 00:32:25,035
Since you asked,
I feel I should be
550
00:32:25,144 --> 00:32:26,714
at liberty to share it with you.
551
00:32:26,812 --> 00:32:30,052
First, I"ve got some toys,
and then I"ve got some ice.
552
00:32:30,149 --> 00:32:31,979
Some ice?
553
00:32:32,084 --> 00:32:33,994
Oh, yeah. Girl, I love ice.
554
00:32:34,086 --> 00:32:37,116
L"m gonna start at his toes
and just get him to...
555
00:32:46,232 --> 00:32:47,732
No, no, we closed.
556
00:32:47,833 --> 00:32:49,443
Yo, yo,
we just want some condoms.
557
00:32:49,535 --> 00:32:51,665
No condoms for Yoyo.
Yoyo, come here!
558
00:33:01,613 --> 00:33:05,423
He"s saying "yo" like "yo, man."
He"s not calling my name.
559
00:33:05,517 --> 00:33:09,257
No "Yoyo."
"Yo, yo." I understand.
560
00:33:09,355 --> 00:33:12,355
Yo, later on, I get to dip
that soy sauce, is that cool?
561
00:33:17,363 --> 00:33:21,273
Come on, man. We got the girls waiting
for us back at the crib, man.
562
00:33:23,402 --> 00:33:26,672
Girl, girl.
I have just what you need.
563
00:33:26,772 --> 00:33:31,012
Very special. Very rare.
564
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:33,550
Tiger penis.
565
00:33:33,645 --> 00:33:37,075
Make you strong
in all the right places.
566
00:33:37,183 --> 00:33:40,923
Look, I"m already the king of the
jungle, know what I"m saying?
567
00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:43,519
Man, just give us
the best condoms you got.
568
00:33:44,190 --> 00:33:46,260
Fine, fine.
569
00:33:47,226 --> 00:33:48,526
Lambskin.
570
00:33:48,627 --> 00:33:51,457
Very sensitive. Twelve-pack.
571
00:33:51,563 --> 00:33:55,933
Leaves some feeling
for your jimmy. Only $38.
572
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:57,674
Look, man.
Thirty-eight dollars?
573
00:33:57,769 --> 00:34:02,109
I ain"t got 12 dicks to put that on.
I just need one or two.
574
00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:05,738
No can break box.
Only have 12-pack.
575
00:34:05,844 --> 00:34:09,484
Twelve condom not much
for king of the jungle.
576
00:34:09,581 --> 00:34:12,081
You trying to
break my pockets, G.
577
00:34:12,184 --> 00:34:16,124
Gi, my cousin. I am Chiu.
578
00:34:16,222 --> 00:34:18,822
Now, you want skins or what?
579
00:34:18,924 --> 00:34:22,294
Yo, man, if you get those, you
better hit some Nikki skins.
580
00:34:22,394 --> 00:34:24,004
What other choice have we got?
581
00:34:24,096 --> 00:34:25,626
You know,
me, I just put the tip in.
582
00:34:25,731 --> 00:34:28,331
You might not be
putting nothing in.
583
00:34:31,337 --> 00:34:34,767
Hey, tonight,
before the sun rises.
584
00:34:34,873 --> 00:34:38,183
Hey, look, all I need is one. L"II
just wash it out and use it again.
585
00:34:38,277 --> 00:34:40,177
Recycle, baby.
586
00:34:48,220 --> 00:34:50,360
L"m back.
587
00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,086
Nikki.
588
00:34:55,194 --> 00:34:56,804
Champagne.
589
00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:04,500
"Open me." I can do that.
590
00:35:07,139 --> 00:35:09,509
Or at least I think I can.
Get your...
591
00:35:13,745 --> 00:35:15,445
Hi.
592
00:35:19,451 --> 00:35:21,821
Just got a little excited.
593
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,460
Maybe I should put
this thing on ice.
594
00:35:23,555 --> 00:35:25,515
Put it on ice.
595
00:35:25,624 --> 00:35:27,534
I could do that too.
596
00:35:35,867 --> 00:35:37,437
What"s wrong?
597
00:35:37,536 --> 00:35:39,606
Damn cardboard is sticking me.
598
00:35:40,639 --> 00:35:41,909
Condoms.
599
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:43,380
Condoms.
600
00:35:43,475 --> 00:35:45,335
Safe way to go.
601
00:35:53,419 --> 00:35:54,849
What kind of condoms are these?
602
00:35:54,953 --> 00:35:57,123
"Condom" condoms, babe.
603
00:35:57,223 --> 00:36:01,293
These are lambskin. Don"t you
listen to the surgeon general?
604
00:36:01,393 --> 00:36:04,403
Lambskin condoms don"t protect
you against the HIV virus.
605
00:36:04,496 --> 00:36:08,326
Baby, I"m government-tested,
grade A, clear as a bell.
606
00:36:08,434 --> 00:36:09,474
Don"t even go there.
607
00:36:09,568 --> 00:36:10,868
Yeah, but...
608
00:36:10,969 --> 00:36:14,609
Rushon, just go to the store
and get some latex.
609
00:36:15,307 --> 00:36:16,937
Okay? Please.
610
00:36:18,310 --> 00:36:19,810
Latex.
611
00:36:19,911 --> 00:36:21,851
Latex.
612
00:36:24,216 --> 00:36:26,176
Goddamn sheep.
613
00:36:26,285 --> 00:36:28,715
Wimpy little
woolly lamb-chop ass.
614
00:36:30,656 --> 00:36:32,516
Where you going?
615
00:36:32,624 --> 00:36:36,634
I was gonna put some clothes
on and take Killa for a walk.
616
00:36:36,728 --> 00:36:37,872
L"II take Killa for a walk.
Okay?
617
00:36:37,896 --> 00:36:39,266
Okay.
618
00:36:39,365 --> 00:36:41,295
We supposed to be
bonding anyway, right?
619
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:42,930
Man"s best friend, right?
620
00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:46,714
You just stay put with your fine self.
You got that?
621
00:36:46,805 --> 00:36:48,335
Okay.
L"II be back.
622
00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:56,483
Bunz...
623
00:36:56,582 --> 00:36:58,522
the condoms we got
are no good, man.
624
00:36:58,617 --> 00:37:01,287
L"m going back to Mr. Chiu"s.
They"re lambskin.
625
00:37:03,689 --> 00:37:05,219
What am I doing?
626
00:37:05,324 --> 00:37:08,694
Hey, have a good time, man.
627
00:37:08,794 --> 00:37:10,404
We will!
We will!
628
00:37:10,496 --> 00:37:12,496
Bye, Rushon.
629
00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:21,467
Let me see who that is.
It might be important.
630
00:37:21,573 --> 00:37:24,413
Hold on, now. Hello?
631
00:37:24,510 --> 00:37:26,010
Hey, Nik.
632
00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:27,684
Yeah?
633
00:37:27,779 --> 00:37:30,949
All right. He"II be right out.
634
00:37:31,049 --> 00:37:35,249
L"m not going anywhere, you hear me?
We spent $38 on those condoms.
635
00:37:35,354 --> 00:37:37,224
I don"t want to go out again.
636
00:37:37,323 --> 00:37:39,933
I "m hot, I" m bothered.
I might hurt somebody.
637
00:37:40,025 --> 00:37:41,485
Not you.
Because I don"t hit women.
638
00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:42,993
Relax. Look.
639
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:45,764
I am gonna turn you
every which way but loose.
640
00:37:45,864 --> 00:37:47,534
That "s what I" m talking about.
641
00:37:47,633 --> 00:37:49,373
After you buy...
642
00:37:49,468 --> 00:37:51,538
a latex condom, okay?
643
00:37:54,506 --> 00:37:55,966
Good.
Okay.
644
00:37:56,074 --> 00:37:57,352
When I come back, we doing this.
645
00:37:57,376 --> 00:37:59,036
Oh, yeah.
646
00:37:59,144 --> 00:38:01,554
We doing this. Do you understand?
No phone ringing.
647
00:38:01,647 --> 00:38:04,417
If the Avon lady"s at the
door, I"II bust her ass...
648
00:38:04,516 --> 00:38:07,646
unless she got some condoms.
All right?
649
00:38:07,753 --> 00:38:11,063
Why don"t we just wait on
the Avon lady.
650
00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:12,859
Go.
651
00:38:12,958 --> 00:38:14,928
It"s so dark outside.
652
00:38:18,330 --> 00:38:20,030
Can you believe this?
653
00:38:20,131 --> 00:38:23,301
Bet he"s with Yoyo painting
stripes on that tiger penis.
654
00:38:23,402 --> 00:38:25,742
She need to be hanging
with this jungle snake.
655
00:38:25,837 --> 00:38:27,407
What are we gonna do now?
656
00:38:27,506 --> 00:38:29,206
What we gonna do? No, no.
657
00:38:29,307 --> 00:38:31,637
What you gonna do?
Because I have mine going on.
658
00:38:31,743 --> 00:38:34,713
And if this dog don"t quit
sniffing on my boots...
659
00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:37,653
I"m gonna show you the
true meaning of doggystyle.
660
00:38:51,129 --> 00:38:52,759
Rushon.
Oh, my God, my man main.
661
00:38:52,864 --> 00:38:54,634
Singh, my nigga.
662
00:38:54,733 --> 00:38:55,777
Aren"t you on 125th Street?
663
00:38:55,801 --> 00:38:57,041
L"m a floater.
664
00:38:57,135 --> 00:38:58,565
I work at Harlem,
Chinatown, Hunt"s
665
00:38:58,670 --> 00:39:00,370
Point,
Coney Island, Hell"s Kitchen.
666
00:39:00,472 --> 00:39:02,312
I don"t give a shit.
L"m a floater.
667
00:39:02,408 --> 00:39:03,978
No dogs allowed, my friend.
668
00:39:04,075 --> 00:39:06,405
No, my brother,
that"s a Seeing Eye dog.
669
00:39:06,512 --> 00:39:09,852
Well, see his nasty little
rodent ass out to the curb.
670
00:39:09,948 --> 00:39:11,478
He"s got a point, my friend.
671
00:39:11,583 --> 00:39:13,253
You "re looking at the dog" s ass?
672
00:39:13,351 --> 00:39:14,991
He"s got a point too.
One to one.
673
00:39:15,086 --> 00:39:16,586
What? L"m on your side.
674
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:18,288
You started this shit.
675
00:39:18,390 --> 00:39:20,030
Aisle two.
Y"all got some kerosene?
676
00:39:20,125 --> 00:39:21,885
You moved the kerosene.
Aisle three.
677
00:39:21,993 --> 00:39:22,893
Tell me when you move things.
678
00:39:22,994 --> 00:39:24,464
Do I have to?
679
00:39:24,563 --> 00:39:26,703
L"d like to fuck the dog.
Do I have to tell you that?
680
00:39:38,810 --> 00:39:42,510
Singh, I need some latex condoms.
Okay? They gotta be latex.
681
00:39:42,614 --> 00:39:45,354
Mr. Black Man, I can"t see you.
Come to the front.
682
00:39:45,451 --> 00:39:48,951
You came to the right place. We
have Ginza, Sheik, Hot Tamale.
683
00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:50,924
Booty Call, Backdoor Man,
Manhandlers.
684
00:39:51,022 --> 00:39:52,692
Ramrod, Lube Job, In Deep.
685
00:39:52,791 --> 00:39:55,091
Joy Trail, Buckwild
and Goodyear Eagles.
686
00:39:55,193 --> 00:39:56,963
Goodyear got a condom too?
687
00:39:57,062 --> 00:39:58,632
Non-skid, maxi-tread.
688
00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:00,500
Give me the Sheik.
No offence.
689
00:40:00,599 --> 00:40:03,599
Let me get the same thing he"s
got, and also get some Backdoors.
690
00:40:04,670 --> 00:40:05,900
Oh, my God.
691
00:40:06,004 --> 00:40:07,244
I don"t think you want them.
692
00:40:07,439 --> 00:40:08,539
They"re for gay men.
693
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:10,110
Don"t wanna go there.
694
00:40:10,208 --> 00:40:13,138
I don"t know. You could be
a bit of a doo-doo chaser.
695
00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:14,884
A sodomite, with hair like that.
696
00:40:14,980 --> 00:40:16,750
Hell, no.
Y"all got me fucked up.
697
00:40:16,848 --> 00:40:19,018
I like the fuzzy stuff,
don"t get me wrong.
698
00:40:19,117 --> 00:40:21,347
My hair is just a statement
of my individuality.
699
00:40:21,553 --> 00:40:22,793
Like I said, a sodomite.
700
00:40:22,888 --> 00:40:24,218
Or sodo-maybe.
701
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:25,422
Very good. High-two.
702
00:40:25,557 --> 00:40:26,557
Oh, yeah. High-two.
703
00:40:28,494 --> 00:40:30,364
Over there.
Where are your condoms, man?
704
00:40:30,562 --> 00:40:32,332
And I"m watching you.
705
00:40:32,531 --> 00:40:34,031
Mind your business.
706
00:40:34,132 --> 00:40:35,532
What"s a sodomite, anyway?
707
00:40:35,634 --> 00:40:37,044
You don"t wanna know.
708
00:40:37,135 --> 00:40:38,895
I thought he was
saying I was, like,
709
00:40:39,004 --> 00:40:40,844
Dolemite"s cousin or something.
710
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,769
Damn. I forgot Killa.
711
00:40:45,076 --> 00:40:46,706
Shit.
712
00:40:46,812 --> 00:40:48,182
Hold.
713
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:51,047
Killa.
714
00:40:52,518 --> 00:40:54,848
Come here. Killa.
715
00:40:57,088 --> 00:40:59,588
No, you gotta be firm with them.
Heel!
716
00:41:00,859 --> 00:41:02,089
Damn!
717
00:41:02,193 --> 00:41:04,403
Oh, shit. Come here.
718
00:41:04,496 --> 00:41:08,466
Girl, that"s right. He is out
right now taking care of Killa.
719
00:41:08,567 --> 00:41:13,097
Looks like Rushon has worked
his way right on in, huh?
720
00:41:13,204 --> 00:41:14,744
Honey,
let me tell you, my man...
721
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,880
has earned everything
I"m about to give him.
722
00:41:21,046 --> 00:41:23,576
Come here, come here,
you little mutt!
723
00:41:45,937 --> 00:41:48,037
I hate dogs.
724
00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:57,176
Okay, Bunz, I got it.
L"II tell Nikki
725
00:41:57,282 --> 00:41:59,182
Killa"s with you and Lysterine.
726
00:41:59,284 --> 00:42:00,594
That way we can
still get busy...
727
00:42:00,686 --> 00:42:02,116
Wait, wait.
728
00:42:02,220 --> 00:42:04,520
I will not get caught up
in your web of deception.
729
00:42:04,623 --> 00:42:07,863
There"s one thing I don"t do,
and that"s lie.
730
00:42:07,959 --> 00:42:10,759
All right, when Nikki is crying
on Lysterine"s shoulder...
731
00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:14,202
then what you gonna do?
- Let"s get our story straight.
732
00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:21,607
No story required. Come on, B.
733
00:42:25,844 --> 00:42:28,654
What happened?
What took you guys so long?
734
00:42:28,747 --> 00:42:31,947
Me and Killa started playing
and lost track of time.
735
00:42:32,050 --> 00:42:34,450
This dog is so frisky.
You hear me?
736
00:42:34,552 --> 00:42:36,292
Is there
something on his sweater?
737
00:42:37,222 --> 00:42:38,692
No.
738
00:42:38,790 --> 00:42:41,490
Nothing on this sweater.
It"s a little shadowy in here.
739
00:42:41,593 --> 00:42:43,333
You know it"s getting late.
740
00:42:43,561 --> 00:42:44,901
Look at this!
741
00:42:44,996 --> 00:42:46,896
Is that a strong dog or what?
742
00:42:46,998 --> 00:42:50,268
Your dog is a trip, girl.
L"m telling you.
743
00:42:50,368 --> 00:42:53,468
Are you gonna play with him all
night or come play with me?
744
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:56,711
L"II be right in there with you.
Go ahead. Just go in there.
745
00:42:56,808 --> 00:42:57,878
L"II be in there.
746
00:42:57,976 --> 00:42:59,136
Okay.
747
00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:00,914
Don"t take too long.
748
00:43:05,316 --> 00:43:07,586
Make me get nothing.
749
00:43:10,889 --> 00:43:14,329
Rushon, what"s taking so long?
750
00:43:26,972 --> 00:43:28,642
What are you supposed to be?
751
00:43:28,740 --> 00:43:32,010
Jurassic Park, baby. Getting
prehistoric in here on you.
752
00:43:33,879 --> 00:43:35,749
Come here, girl.
753
00:43:55,667 --> 00:43:57,297
What are you doing?
754
00:43:57,402 --> 00:43:59,712
Going downtown, baby,
on the A train.
755
00:43:59,805 --> 00:44:02,035
Yeah, that"s great.
That"s wonderful.
756
00:44:02,140 --> 00:44:04,140
Don"t you think we need
some protection?
757
00:44:04,242 --> 00:44:06,852
I just went to the store.
I got that. Don"t worry.
758
00:44:06,945 --> 00:44:08,605
You need a dental dam to protect
759
00:44:08,714 --> 00:44:10,284
against
the exchange of bodily fluid.
760
00:44:10,381 --> 00:44:13,621
Where do I get some dental dam?
I been to the store.
761
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:16,149
Plastic wrap in the kitchen
next to the refrigerator.
762
00:44:16,254 --> 00:44:17,694
All right.
In the kitchen.
763
00:44:17,789 --> 00:44:19,789
Hurry up. Hurry.
764
00:44:19,891 --> 00:44:20,931
Okay.
765
00:44:21,026 --> 00:44:22,686
Clears another hurdle.
766
00:44:22,794 --> 00:44:24,474
Didn"t know I was in
the Olympics, did you?
767
00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:28,197
Don"t tear up my kitchen, now.
768
00:44:28,299 --> 00:44:30,369
I got it. Dam. Here you go.
769
00:44:32,804 --> 00:44:35,714
Well, don"t look like
we be going downtown.
770
00:44:35,807 --> 00:44:37,707
That"s okay, babe.
771
00:44:37,809 --> 00:44:39,709
It"s not.
I want you to go downtown.
772
00:44:39,811 --> 00:44:42,351
See, if you go to the store...
773
00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:46,852
then when you come back...
774
00:44:46,952 --> 00:44:48,792
you do me...
775
00:44:49,454 --> 00:44:51,294
and I"II do you.
776
00:44:51,389 --> 00:44:54,359
Yeah,
but the store"s a long way...
777
00:44:57,128 --> 00:44:58,798
Okay.
778
00:44:58,897 --> 00:45:00,427
To the store.
779
00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:05,704
It "s one thing we" re leaving
to go get rubbers.
780
00:45:05,804 --> 00:45:08,744
It"s another thing to get plastic
wrap for shit I don"t do.
781
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:12,010
Hey, I might hurt you. You"re my
friend, but I might hurt you.
782
00:45:17,248 --> 00:45:20,648
Hey, man. You poked me in the eye.
Cut that shit down.
783
00:45:20,752 --> 00:45:22,352
Look.
The butt-plugs are back.
784
00:45:22,453 --> 00:45:24,893
You got any plastic wrap?
785
00:45:24,990 --> 00:45:29,030
Yeah, in the back,
next to the onions.
786
00:45:29,127 --> 00:45:32,127
All right. What"s so funny?
787
00:45:35,466 --> 00:45:38,436
You got to lick it
Before you kick it
788
00:45:38,536 --> 00:45:41,966
You"ve got to mak e it soft
and wet Before you stick it
789
00:45:42,073 --> 00:45:44,913
Hey, hey, camel cowboys.
790
00:45:45,010 --> 00:45:47,650
We just want some wrap,
and then we out of here.
791
00:45:47,745 --> 00:45:50,115
Oh, yeah.
No. Most people come in
792
00:45:50,215 --> 00:45:52,775
to buy GLAD Wrap
at 2 in the morning.
793
00:45:52,884 --> 00:45:56,294
You got to punch it
Before you munch it
794
00:45:56,387 --> 00:46:00,157
You"ve got to work it
Before you jerk it
795
00:46:06,832 --> 00:46:09,772
See? See? This is why I"m in
favour of immigration reform.
796
00:46:09,868 --> 00:46:12,438
You"re fresh off the boat and
already fucking with people.
797
00:46:12,537 --> 00:46:14,907
Oh, my God, take a breather.
798
00:46:15,540 --> 00:46:16,670
You feel better?
799
00:46:16,908 --> 00:46:18,038
I feel better.
800
00:46:18,143 --> 00:46:20,013
I was just pulling your arm.
801
00:46:20,111 --> 00:46:21,451
Arm.
Pulling your leg.
802
00:46:21,546 --> 00:46:22,866
You can"t say"
pulling your arm."
803
00:46:22,914 --> 00:46:24,124
Why do you correct me?
804
00:46:24,215 --> 00:46:25,715
You are not in Bombay now.
805
00:46:25,917 --> 00:46:28,517
I wish I was in Bombay.
806
00:46:28,619 --> 00:46:30,559
L"m not staying.
Then go to Bombay.
807
00:46:30,655 --> 00:46:33,825
See who we get it from now? The
cold part is they got a point.
808
00:46:33,925 --> 00:46:36,125
These women are running us.
We not running them.
809
00:46:36,227 --> 00:46:38,297
Do you see how expensive
this shit is?
810
00:46:38,396 --> 00:46:39,676
Singh, you got anything cheaper?
811
00:46:39,898 --> 00:46:41,128
Rushon.
812
00:46:41,933 --> 00:46:43,703
Come up here, boy.
813
00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:45,501
Damn. Judge Peabody.
814
00:46:45,603 --> 00:46:48,573
He go to my mother"s church.
He a Holy Roller too.
815
00:46:50,575 --> 00:46:52,435
Hey, judge.
816
00:46:52,543 --> 00:46:54,553
Rushon, what you doing out?
817
00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:56,705
We just came to get a sandwich.
818
00:46:56,814 --> 00:46:59,184
Ain"t nothing out this late
but the devil...
819
00:46:59,284 --> 00:47:02,394
and the devil"s helper.
- Hey, judge.
820
00:47:05,323 --> 00:47:07,733
You want that GLAD Wrap?
821
00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:10,325
GLAD Wrap at 2 in the morning?
822
00:47:10,428 --> 00:47:12,998
Looks like you plan on eating
more than a sandwich.
823
00:47:13,098 --> 00:47:14,968
Your mother know
what you"re doing?
824
00:47:15,066 --> 00:47:16,936
Look here, son.
Well, she...
825
00:47:17,035 --> 00:47:18,865
It"s bad enough you
plan to fornicate.
826
00:47:18,970 --> 00:47:20,840
Don"t compound
the crime by lying.
827
00:47:20,939 --> 00:47:24,539
Lies are the oil that grease the track.
One-way to "desolution."
828
00:47:25,376 --> 00:47:27,006
Now, I know...
829
00:47:27,112 --> 00:47:30,222
what condoms and GLAD Wrap,
it has its place...
830
00:47:30,315 --> 00:47:32,445
in the pantheon of safe sex.
831
00:47:32,550 --> 00:47:34,950
There"s only one way
to be totally safe...
832
00:47:35,053 --> 00:47:37,493
and that"s
abstinence and purity.
833
00:47:38,389 --> 00:47:40,259
And sexual frustration.
834
00:47:40,358 --> 00:47:42,258
I know how you all feel.
835
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:45,360
When that furry temptress seems
like she"s calling your name.
836
00:47:45,463 --> 00:47:48,503
She say, " Come on, Rushon!
Get some! Put your hand on it!"
837
00:47:48,599 --> 00:47:50,769
You want some more?
Rub it on in there.
838
00:47:50,868 --> 00:47:52,368
You want me to rub it?
Bite me.
839
00:47:52,470 --> 00:47:55,740
"Suck it, you filthy..." You
know, and things like that.
840
00:47:55,974 --> 00:47:57,484
You know?
841
00:47:57,575 --> 00:48:00,075
Man, you got my nipples hard.
842
00:48:02,013 --> 00:48:04,223
Watch how you talk to me.
843
00:48:04,315 --> 00:48:05,515
L"m sorry.
844
00:48:05,616 --> 00:48:06,986
L"m sorry for you.
845
00:48:07,085 --> 00:48:08,915
L"m trying to help you.
846
00:48:09,020 --> 00:48:10,490
That"s where you
gotta be strong.
847
00:48:10,588 --> 00:48:12,318
You have to take a pledge.
848
00:48:12,423 --> 00:48:16,533
You say, " I swear on the seal of
this great state of New York..."
849
00:48:16,627 --> 00:48:21,067
"that I would never..." - Say,
judge, we gonna do this or what?
850
00:48:21,166 --> 00:48:24,536
Yes.
Yes, I"II be right out, miss.
851
00:48:24,635 --> 00:48:26,295
L"II be right out.
852
00:48:29,274 --> 00:48:31,644
That "s what I" m talking about.
853
00:48:31,742 --> 00:48:34,312
So remember what I said...
854
00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:36,352
because I said it.
855
00:48:36,447 --> 00:48:39,177
And tell your
mother I say hello.
856
00:48:39,284 --> 00:48:40,854
You-all have a great evening.
857
00:48:40,952 --> 00:48:43,392
Judge,
you forgot your Goodyears.
858
00:48:43,488 --> 00:48:48,658
L"II come back and get it.
I have to take my clerk home.
859
00:48:48,759 --> 00:48:52,099
I told you I was coming out.
Didn"t have to come in there.
860
00:48:52,197 --> 00:48:56,867
Look, man, I"m a little low on cash.
Y"all got anything cheaper?
861
00:48:56,968 --> 00:49:00,068
That"s the 300.
The 100 is back on the shelf.
862
00:49:00,171 --> 00:49:03,371
Come on, man.
We running out of time.
863
00:49:03,474 --> 00:49:05,014
I don"t trust those boys.
864
00:49:05,110 --> 00:49:08,410
I think that that girl was
the judge"s fuzzy temptress.
865
00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:11,377
What"s the difference?
Furry temptress.
866
00:49:11,482 --> 00:49:13,252
What"s the difference?
You don"t know?
867
00:49:13,351 --> 00:49:15,351
We are talking.
Put the money in the bag.
868
00:49:15,453 --> 00:49:16,497
If furry is here
and fuzzy is here...
869
00:49:16,521 --> 00:49:17,861
Hey!
870
00:49:17,955 --> 00:49:19,235
I said,
put the money in the bag.
871
00:49:19,324 --> 00:49:20,894
Your customer.
872
00:49:20,992 --> 00:49:23,292
Listen, you Pakistani piece
of shit, do what I say.
873
00:49:23,394 --> 00:49:26,404
Listen, you crack addict, we"re
not Pakistani. We are Punjabis.
874
00:49:26,497 --> 00:49:28,327
I could pass for Pakistani.
875
00:49:28,433 --> 00:49:31,603
Oh, shit, Bunz, these
motherfuckers are getting jacked.
876
00:49:33,671 --> 00:49:37,441
As soon as he shoots them, I"m
gonna go get some groceries.
877
00:49:37,542 --> 00:49:39,442
Ever use the left
side of your brain?
878
00:49:39,544 --> 00:49:41,384
All the time. Take these.
879
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:53,260
Hey, let"s clock
this motherfucker.
880
00:49:53,358 --> 00:49:55,758
Hurry up.
Give me the goddamn money.
881
00:50:00,798 --> 00:50:02,328
Call me a Pakistani.
882
00:50:28,426 --> 00:50:32,026
Oh, my, my, my, my, my.
Oh, my, my, my.
883
00:50:32,130 --> 00:50:34,030
And you wonder why
you"re a floater.
884
00:50:34,132 --> 00:50:36,032
Are you out of
your fucking minds?
885
00:50:38,203 --> 00:50:40,143
Punk motherfucker.
886
00:50:40,238 --> 00:50:42,438
Bunz, you all right?
887
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:45,180
I think I got a pickle
stuck in my ass.
888
00:50:46,211 --> 00:50:47,711
There we go.
889
00:50:51,816 --> 00:50:53,276
Tonight.
890
00:50:53,384 --> 00:50:55,194
I ain"t coming back out here.
891
00:50:55,286 --> 00:50:57,046
That"s the spirit. Bunz.
892
00:50:57,722 --> 00:50:59,022
What?
893
00:50:59,124 --> 00:51:00,134
Got a little something in here.
894
00:51:00,158 --> 00:51:01,158
Man, you wacked.
895
00:51:01,226 --> 00:51:02,226
Straighten you out.
896
00:51:04,229 --> 00:51:07,669
Nikki, your man"s home.
897
00:51:07,765 --> 00:51:10,095
I don"t wanna hear it.
898
00:51:10,201 --> 00:51:13,971
L"m in the bathroom.
Why don"t you get ready.
899
00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:16,741
I am ready, girl.
I been ready.
900
00:51:16,841 --> 00:51:18,911
Seven weeks ready. Shit.
901
00:51:19,110 --> 00:51:20,780
Hey, Nikki.
902
00:51:20,878 --> 00:51:22,678
This plastic
ain"t easy to come by.
903
00:51:22,780 --> 00:51:24,680
You don"t know
what I been through.
904
00:51:24,782 --> 00:51:28,692
But I think I finally got
this safe-sex thing down pat.
905
00:51:28,786 --> 00:51:30,586
You sure you know
what you"re doing?
906
00:51:30,688 --> 00:51:32,758
Do I know what I"m doing?
907
00:51:34,525 --> 00:51:36,255
I know what I"m doing.
908
00:51:36,361 --> 00:51:38,831
Say you want some dental dam,
I got your dental dam.
909
00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:41,699
Build your ass the Hoover Dam,
that "s what I" II do.
910
00:51:41,799 --> 00:51:45,299
L"II whack that ass tonight.
My turn to do what I want.
911
00:51:45,403 --> 00:51:48,843
You shut up before I wrap
your ass like a hot dog.
912
00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:23,237
Oh, my God. Rushon, Rushon.
913
00:52:24,942 --> 00:52:26,712
Sit up so you can get some air.
914
00:52:26,811 --> 00:52:28,251
Sit up.
915
00:52:28,346 --> 00:52:30,446
Okay, okay, okay.
916
00:52:30,548 --> 00:52:32,818
You gotta breathe.
Let me help you.
917
00:52:32,917 --> 00:52:37,257
You are supposed to put this around
my pelvic area, not your head.
918
00:52:37,355 --> 00:52:40,055
Sorry, babe. Let"s do this.
919
00:52:40,258 --> 00:52:41,258
" Let"s do this"?
920
00:52:41,359 --> 00:52:42,459
L"m fired up now.
921
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:45,400
Rushon, you almost died.
922
00:52:45,496 --> 00:52:48,766
Oh, my God, you are the only
man in this world I know...
923
00:52:48,866 --> 00:52:51,296
dumb enough
to do something like this.
924
00:52:54,572 --> 00:52:56,542
Help a brother out.
925
00:53:03,248 --> 00:53:05,048
Get him up!
926
00:53:05,283 --> 00:53:06,983
Sit him up.
927
00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:08,624
What?
Rushon, help me.
928
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:10,359
Pop it!
929
00:53:13,358 --> 00:53:14,888
Motherfucker, was you gonna wait
930
00:53:14,992 --> 00:53:16,592
for me to turn into a butterfly?
931
00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:18,704
Deja vu.
932
00:53:18,796 --> 00:53:20,826
Would you lookie here.
933
00:53:20,931 --> 00:53:22,631
Oh, I been looking.
934
00:53:22,733 --> 00:53:25,703
You know, I told him
I was coming right back.
935
00:53:25,803 --> 00:53:29,113
Bunz, did you think you were
gonna spoil or something?
936
00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:31,876
L"ve got some aluminium foil
over in the cabinet too.
937
00:53:31,976 --> 00:53:37,476
I don"t wanna hit no woman,
but I tell you right now...
938
00:53:37,582 --> 00:53:40,592
When did this become Def Comedy Jam?
Nikki, what is so funny?
939
00:53:40,685 --> 00:53:42,745
L"m sorry, baby.
940
00:53:42,853 --> 00:53:44,963
"L"m sorry,
baby."Ain"t this a bitch.
941
00:53:45,055 --> 00:53:46,755
I ain"t never had to go through
942
00:53:46,857 --> 00:53:48,587
this much shit to
get a piece of ass.
943
00:53:48,693 --> 00:53:51,133
They got you slipping,
you got me slipping. L"m out.
944
00:53:51,362 --> 00:53:52,432
You with me?
945
00:53:52,530 --> 00:53:53,760
L"m out. Come on.
946
00:53:53,864 --> 00:53:55,374
Rushon, where you going?
947
00:53:55,466 --> 00:53:57,896
L"m going home.
948
00:53:58,002 --> 00:54:00,772
It"s about time you handled
your business like a man.
949
00:54:00,871 --> 00:54:03,341
I still got time to
make my booty call.
950
00:54:05,810 --> 00:54:09,010
Didn"t I tell you about this
blind-date stuff? Look at this shit.
951
00:54:09,113 --> 00:54:10,753
Let"s get a cab
and get out of here.
952
00:54:10,848 --> 00:54:12,548
Smartest thing
you said all night.
953
00:54:12,650 --> 00:54:14,420
Don"t look back.
Just keep walking.
954
00:54:14,519 --> 00:54:16,249
We almost got
shot over this shit.
955
00:54:16,987 --> 00:54:18,357
Shot?
956
00:54:18,456 --> 00:54:19,800
You heard him.
Shot. L"m out of here.
957
00:54:19,824 --> 00:54:21,494
Wait.
Let"s go. Cabbie!
958
00:54:21,592 --> 00:54:22,792
Cabbie!
959
00:54:22,893 --> 00:54:24,193
Rushon, are you okay?
960
00:54:24,295 --> 00:54:25,695
I "m still breathing, ain" t I?
961
00:54:25,796 --> 00:54:27,326
If you stay away from GLAD Wrap.
962
00:54:27,432 --> 00:54:28,532
Lystie, come on.
963
00:54:28,633 --> 00:54:30,343
L"m gonna be right over here.
964
00:54:30,435 --> 00:54:32,335
Baby, I am so sorry.
965
00:54:32,437 --> 00:54:35,667
I "II make it up to you. L" II do anything.
We can go upstairs.
966
00:54:35,773 --> 00:54:39,383
Damn.
967
00:54:39,477 --> 00:54:42,507
If you"re thinking about trying
to get in good with me...
968
00:54:42,613 --> 00:54:45,183
and kissing me all on
my fingers, forget that.
969
00:54:45,416 --> 00:54:46,546
Forgotten.
970
00:54:46,651 --> 00:54:47,851
Cool.
971
00:54:47,952 --> 00:54:50,052
Can I get a damn cab?
972
00:54:50,287 --> 00:54:51,787
Damn!
973
00:54:51,889 --> 00:54:55,459
What does a brother have to do to
get a cab? Rushon, help me out.
974
00:54:56,293 --> 00:54:57,563
You say something, Bunz?
975
00:54:57,662 --> 00:54:59,532
I see what"s going on.
976
00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:01,600
Look like you
gonna get yours before
977
00:55:01,699 --> 00:55:03,629
sunrise.
I guess you won the bet.
978
00:55:05,536 --> 00:55:07,406
What bet?
979
00:55:07,972 --> 00:55:09,812
Bunz?
980
00:55:09,907 --> 00:55:14,307
Could you repeat the question?
I got a bum ear.
981
00:55:14,412 --> 00:55:17,282
Baby, it"s just a figure of
speech, that"s all it is.
982
00:55:17,382 --> 00:55:18,922
Like,
"How much you wanna bet I" II
983
00:55:19,016 --> 00:55:20,646
be tapping that
ass before sunrise?"
984
00:55:20,751 --> 00:55:22,951
That kind of figure of speech,
Rushon?
985
00:55:23,053 --> 00:55:24,363
Did you have a bet going on?
986
00:55:24,455 --> 00:55:25,885
No.
987
00:55:25,990 --> 00:55:29,860
No. No. No, no. No, no. Hell, no.
That would be degrading.
988
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:31,860
Completely degrading.
989
00:55:31,962 --> 00:55:33,902
This was just
a harmless challenge.
990
00:55:33,998 --> 00:55:35,728
Challenge.
Exactly.
991
00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:39,073
Like between guys, we talking
about bitches and ho"s and...
992
00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:41,036
Bunz.
993
00:55:41,138 --> 00:55:42,868
Baby, that"s all right.
I got it.
994
00:55:42,973 --> 00:55:45,783
It"s like a guy thing. Right?
Kind of like high-fiving?
995
00:55:45,876 --> 00:55:47,106
Right.
996
00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:48,654
Like a high-five.
997
00:55:48,746 --> 00:55:51,516
Lystie, did you hear that?
It"s a guy thing.
998
00:55:51,616 --> 00:55:52,976
I heard.
999
00:55:53,083 --> 00:55:54,553
Us girls have our thing too.
1000
00:55:54,652 --> 00:55:58,362
Except it"s not a high-five.
It"s a high-one.
1001
00:55:58,456 --> 00:56:00,116
And to you too.
Lystie, let"s go.
1002
00:56:00,357 --> 00:56:02,027
Nikki, please...
1003
00:56:02,126 --> 00:56:04,286
Rushon, you bet on me.
1004
00:56:04,395 --> 00:56:07,395
Come on. You gonna listen to Bunz?
Nikki, Bunz is crazy.
1005
00:56:07,498 --> 00:56:09,998
I would never do something like...
Look...
1006
00:56:10,100 --> 00:56:11,340
Would you listen to me, please?
1007
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:12,538
L"m listening.
1008
00:56:12,637 --> 00:56:14,737
I fucked up.
I mean, a little bit.
1009
00:56:14,839 --> 00:56:18,279
Hey, look, hands. Hey, man,
I"m glad you stopped.
1010
00:56:18,375 --> 00:56:20,305
You no steal my car!
Look...
1011
00:56:20,411 --> 00:56:21,911
What"s up with the gun?
1012
00:56:26,651 --> 00:56:29,451
You done fucked up now. I ought
to bust your ass right here.
1013
00:56:29,554 --> 00:56:31,894
Sorry, I don"t wanna cork you.
1014
00:56:34,659 --> 00:56:36,529
Shit!
1015
00:56:37,995 --> 00:56:41,395
I gotta get the hell out, man.
Shit is too crazy.
1016
00:56:42,900 --> 00:56:45,670
L"m gonna go back to Africa,
to the roots.
1017
00:56:47,905 --> 00:56:51,435
Let"s take a bite of the Big Apple.
The night is young.
1018
00:56:51,542 --> 00:56:53,582
The only place we"re going
is the hospital...
1019
00:56:53,678 --> 00:56:57,148
to get you stitched and cleaned up.
After that, we"re going home.
1020
00:56:57,247 --> 00:57:00,587
This is only a flesh wound.
Look. See?
1021
00:57:00,685 --> 00:57:02,515
Them old-school
niggas could take,
1022
00:57:02,620 --> 00:57:04,520
like, four or five
bullets to the ass...
1023
00:57:04,622 --> 00:57:07,462
not even worried about
going to the hospital.
1024
00:57:07,558 --> 00:57:10,088
They don"t make niggas
like they used to. Rock-hard.
1025
00:57:10,194 --> 00:57:12,964
I hurt my finger. Kiss it.
1026
00:57:13,063 --> 00:57:17,673
Nikki, I made a mistake, okay?
L"m sorry.
1027
00:57:17,768 --> 00:57:20,708
Welcome to another episode
of Slipping-Ass Brother.
1028
00:57:20,805 --> 00:57:23,465
Caller, you"re on the line
from Alabama, what you think?
1029
00:57:23,574 --> 00:57:25,214
Does the young buck in the back
1030
00:57:25,309 --> 00:57:27,079
know how to fetch
and roll over too?
1031
00:57:27,177 --> 00:57:30,847
Because he begs good as hell.
1032
00:57:30,948 --> 00:57:34,818
Oh, yeah, that"s right, Rushon.
Straighten up for your boy.
1033
00:57:34,919 --> 00:57:37,889
What will it take
for you to shut up?
1034
00:57:41,759 --> 00:57:43,859
It"s funny you ask.
1035
00:57:46,497 --> 00:57:49,127
It"s a misunderstanding. It was
a bet, but it wasn"t a bet.
1036
00:57:49,233 --> 00:57:50,743
Not now, Rushon.
1037
00:57:50,835 --> 00:57:53,135
Like I said, it"s a flesh wound.
1038
00:57:53,237 --> 00:57:55,007
We wanna make sure
it doesn"t get infected.
1039
00:57:55,105 --> 00:57:59,205
Like I was saying, no insurance.
1040
00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:02,179
Ain"t this a shame. We in the
richest country in the world...
1041
00:58:02,279 --> 00:58:04,819
the land of the brave,
the home of the beautiful...
1042
00:58:04,915 --> 00:58:06,775
and he can"t
get his leg sewn up?
1043
00:58:06,884 --> 00:58:08,854
This is not
the time or the place.
1044
00:58:08,953 --> 00:58:11,693
It is the place.
It says "Emergency."
1045
00:58:11,789 --> 00:58:13,519
It doesn "t say"
Emergency unless
1046
00:58:13,624 --> 00:58:15,364
you ain"t got no
insurance card."
1047
00:58:15,593 --> 00:58:16,733
Bunz.
1048
00:58:16,827 --> 00:58:18,227
Shut up.
1049
00:58:18,328 --> 00:58:21,898
I tell you what, I"II go get you a
parrot to go with your peg leg.
1050
00:58:23,534 --> 00:58:26,744
Look, I got insurance. I just
don"t have my card on me.
1051
00:58:26,837 --> 00:58:28,967
No card, no cure.
1052
00:58:29,073 --> 00:58:31,943
I don"t think you understand the
severity of this situation.
1053
00:58:32,042 --> 00:58:33,442
This man has been shot.
1054
00:58:33,544 --> 00:58:34,954
I don"t know where you received
1055
00:58:35,045 --> 00:58:36,645
your education, your training...
1056
00:58:36,747 --> 00:58:38,747
Lystie. I apologize...
1057
00:58:38,849 --> 00:58:42,089
for my friends.
It"s been a long night.
1058
00:58:42,186 --> 00:58:45,416
I "m sure there" s a procedure
to verify his insurance.
1059
00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:48,662
We filled out all the forms, all
the information you need is here.
1060
00:58:48,759 --> 00:58:51,429
Like I said,
little Miss Fugee...
1061
00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:53,998
no card, no cure.
1062
00:58:54,098 --> 00:58:55,968
Look, bitch,
either you make the call
1063
00:58:56,066 --> 00:58:58,036
or I"m gonna come
across that desk...
1064
00:58:58,135 --> 00:59:00,935
and snatch that horsehair
wig off your bald head.
1065
00:59:01,038 --> 00:59:03,308
I will stick this clipboard
so far up your...
1066
00:59:03,540 --> 00:59:05,510
Askins.
1067
00:59:05,610 --> 00:59:07,910
Looking for... Rushon Askins?
1068
00:59:08,813 --> 00:59:10,823
Nigga, are you Rushon?
1069
00:59:10,915 --> 00:59:13,015
Yeah, Rushon Askins, right here.
1070
00:59:13,117 --> 00:59:15,117
That "s what I" m asking.
Rushon Askins.
1071
00:59:15,219 --> 00:59:16,719
Fool, get your ass down.
1072
00:59:16,821 --> 00:59:19,591
Okay, listen. We"ve already
pre-admitted this patient.
1073
00:59:19,690 --> 00:59:21,230
Here"s his insurance forms.
1074
00:59:21,325 --> 00:59:25,225
We need to get him down to triage
because his wounds are severe.
1075
00:59:25,329 --> 00:59:28,699
Yes, Dr. Zevroloski. But
aren"t you the guy that...?
1076
00:59:28,799 --> 00:59:30,799
Yes, I am.
L"m very attracted to you.
1077
00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:33,901
These beautiful eyes,
those cheekbones, that smile.
1078
00:59:34,004 --> 00:59:36,044
And I love that
little moustache.
1079
00:59:36,140 --> 00:59:39,110
But do something
with the Chia Pet.
1080
00:59:39,209 --> 00:59:43,749
Listen. You and your mama have
to wait behind the yellow line.
1081
00:59:43,848 --> 00:59:45,748
Yes, your motherfucking mama.
Mama?
1082
00:59:48,385 --> 00:59:50,615
He ain"t saying I look old.
1083
00:59:50,721 --> 00:59:52,491
You sure you know
what you"re doing?
1084
00:59:52,589 --> 00:59:54,289
I used to watch ER all the time
1085
00:59:54,391 --> 00:59:56,261
till they cut
the brother"s part down.
1086
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:58,860
Somebody died, they gonna
try to blame it on him.
1087
01:00:01,766 --> 01:00:04,696
Nurse, could you give me a hand?
My patient needs assistance.
1088
01:00:04,802 --> 01:00:07,502
Sure, doctor. Could you roll
him over there, please?
1089
01:00:07,604 --> 01:00:10,714
You know, I think
it"s just a flesh wound.
1090
01:00:10,808 --> 01:00:12,408
Please help me
get him in the bed.
1091
01:00:12,609 --> 01:00:14,779
Yeah, you do look frail.
1092
01:00:14,879 --> 01:00:16,279
Okay, get you right up here.
1093
01:00:16,380 --> 01:00:18,220
There we go.
What I wanna do is...
1094
01:00:18,315 --> 01:00:20,275
turn him around
so you can see him.
1095
01:00:21,786 --> 01:00:24,146
Now,
the vital signs seem to be...
1096
01:00:24,254 --> 01:00:26,694
okay. The forehead fever...
1097
01:00:26,791 --> 01:00:29,661
is stable.
1098
01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:31,830
Oh, look here. I got to run.
1099
01:00:31,929 --> 01:00:34,029
I got a 1 -Adam-12
right down the hall.
1100
01:00:34,131 --> 01:00:36,501
L"II leave you here with him.
You can handle this.
1101
01:00:36,701 --> 01:00:39,901
Sure, Dr. Zevroloski.
1102
01:00:40,004 --> 01:00:42,914
Well,
Zevroloski was my first name.
1103
01:00:43,007 --> 01:00:45,907
L"m part German, part Jamaican.
Ger-maican.
1104
01:00:50,180 --> 01:00:53,180
Damn Caribbean medical schools.
1105
01:00:53,283 --> 01:00:56,693
Doctor? Dr. Moore needs help in Obstetrics.
She"s having a baby.
1106
01:00:57,688 --> 01:00:58,818
It ain"t mine.
1107
01:00:58,923 --> 01:01:00,833
No, it"s her patient.
1108
01:01:00,925 --> 01:01:03,225
Well, let"s get it on.
Is she naked?
1109
01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:08,833
It hurts good, doesn"t it?
1110
01:01:08,933 --> 01:01:11,373
Here, I"m gonna give you
something for the pain.
1111
01:01:15,139 --> 01:01:17,339
All right.
It"s gonna help you relax.
1112
01:01:17,441 --> 01:01:19,111
It might even make you drowsy.
1113
01:01:19,209 --> 01:01:22,849
But you"re gonna feel
a whole lot better.
1114
01:01:26,116 --> 01:01:27,416
Nice.
1115
01:01:31,155 --> 01:01:32,885
Pleasant dreams.
1116
01:01:38,328 --> 01:01:39,858
So, doctor, what"s the problem?
1117
01:01:39,964 --> 01:01:41,604
My residency is
in Emergency Peds.
1118
01:01:41,698 --> 01:01:43,168
I have no
training in Obstetrics.
1119
01:01:43,267 --> 01:01:45,397
The patient is multigravida,
experiencing...
1120
01:01:45,502 --> 01:01:47,142
aggravated lateral distension...
1121
01:01:47,237 --> 01:01:49,737
with a likelihood of an
oblique inguinal hernia...
1122
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:52,780
impacting the peritoneum
and the epigastric artery.
1123
01:01:52,877 --> 01:01:56,107
Ever go to Nell"s on ladies" night?
Because it"s free before 10...
1124
01:01:56,213 --> 01:02:00,453
and everything like that.
Got a brand-new DJ.
1125
01:02:00,550 --> 01:02:03,890
Girl, don"t worry about it. Let
me tell you something about men.
1126
01:02:05,089 --> 01:02:06,759
They"re only good for one thing.
1127
01:02:06,857 --> 01:02:09,387
And most of the time,
they don"t even do that right.
1128
01:02:09,493 --> 01:02:12,003
Talking all that mess
about how big they are...
1129
01:02:12,096 --> 01:02:14,196
how much stamina they got...
1130
01:02:14,298 --> 01:02:16,928
talking all that mess
about, "Whose is this?"
1131
01:02:17,034 --> 01:02:20,144
Whose is this? Whose is this?"
1132
01:02:20,237 --> 01:02:23,307
You know what I tell them?
"You don"t even know him."
1133
01:02:23,407 --> 01:02:26,737
But how they gonna bet on us like
we some dogs at a race track?
1134
01:02:26,844 --> 01:02:28,414
Because they not human, baby.
1135
01:02:28,512 --> 01:02:32,482
They may seem like it. We both
eat and breathe the same.
1136
01:02:32,582 --> 01:02:35,792
But look at a brother like Bunz.
Does he act human?
1137
01:02:35,886 --> 01:02:37,986
But you just slept with Bunz.
1138
01:02:38,889 --> 01:02:40,859
Like I said...
1139
01:02:40,958 --> 01:02:44,428
they"re only good for one thing.
- Only good for one thing.
1140
01:02:44,528 --> 01:02:46,728
Yes, you got it.
1141
01:02:46,831 --> 01:02:50,301
L"II tell you another thing, what
you got to do is flip the script.
1142
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:53,000
Keep your freaky-deaky
happening on the DL.
1143
01:02:53,103 --> 01:02:57,013
Be like, "Yeah, that"s right.
But it"s mine. It"s mine."
1144
01:02:57,107 --> 01:03:00,207
That"s mine. Tear it up.
Yeah. Give it to me.
1145
01:03:00,310 --> 01:03:02,380
Yeah. What"s my name?
What"s my name?
1146
01:03:02,479 --> 01:03:05,949
We in a hospital.
Hospital. Chill out.
1147
01:03:06,050 --> 01:03:07,170
We in a hospital. All right.
1148
01:03:07,251 --> 01:03:08,451
All right.
1149
01:03:08,552 --> 01:03:10,392
Okay. Tear it up.
1150
01:03:17,928 --> 01:03:21,368
Contractions are 10 seconds apart.
Everything"s great.
1151
01:03:21,465 --> 01:03:24,465
Everything"s fine.
And, you know, you looking...
1152
01:03:25,802 --> 01:03:28,212
You looking pretty good.
1153
01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:30,335
What you in for, boy?
1154
01:03:34,278 --> 01:03:37,348
You lucky. I got bad pipes.
1155
01:03:37,447 --> 01:03:39,077
My balls is all congested.
1156
01:03:39,183 --> 01:03:40,923
What are they gonna do?
1157
01:03:41,018 --> 01:03:43,388
Un-congest them, I guess.
1158
01:03:46,056 --> 01:03:49,286
It says here,
"Testicular removal."
1159
01:03:50,027 --> 01:03:52,127
Un-congest them, my ass.
1160
01:03:52,229 --> 01:03:53,406
They"re gonna
chop your balls off.
1161
01:03:53,430 --> 01:03:54,660
What?
1162
01:03:54,899 --> 01:03:57,269
Mr. Martin?
1163
01:03:57,367 --> 01:03:58,897
Where are you?
1164
01:03:59,003 --> 01:04:01,073
Mr. Martin...
1165
01:04:01,171 --> 01:04:03,111
where are you?
1166
01:04:03,207 --> 01:04:05,277
We are ready.
1167
01:04:10,981 --> 01:04:13,981
"Rushon." What a pretty name.
1168
01:04:18,155 --> 01:04:20,455
Martin, here you are.
1169
01:04:27,564 --> 01:04:29,674
Great evening.
Got any more planned?
1170
01:04:29,866 --> 01:04:31,166
Don"t even start on me.
1171
01:04:31,268 --> 01:04:33,538
You don"t want me
to start, darling.
1172
01:04:33,637 --> 01:04:35,137
What is that supposed to mean?
1173
01:04:35,239 --> 01:04:36,739
What is that supposed to mean?
1174
01:04:36,941 --> 01:04:38,511
We are in a hospital.
1175
01:04:38,608 --> 01:04:40,908
Of course you don"t recognize me.
L"m Dr. Zevroloski!
1176
01:04:41,011 --> 01:04:43,511
L"m in residency in Baltimore,
visiting doing research.
1177
01:04:43,613 --> 01:04:44,813
Hold it!
1178
01:04:45,015 --> 01:04:46,175
Someone stole my ID.
1179
01:04:46,283 --> 01:04:48,423
Zevroloski. Look it up.
1180
01:04:48,518 --> 01:04:50,218
I knew it.
1181
01:04:51,989 --> 01:04:53,419
You come with me.
1182
01:04:54,291 --> 01:04:57,531
We got somebody to find.
1183
01:04:57,627 --> 01:05:00,097
I know they"re
in here somewhere.
1184
01:05:03,067 --> 01:05:05,597
No. This is a mistake.
1185
01:05:07,137 --> 01:05:09,137
Man, I swear to God.
1186
01:05:09,239 --> 01:05:10,809
We should just leave.
1187
01:05:10,907 --> 01:05:12,347
No, we find them
and then leave them.
1188
01:05:23,387 --> 01:05:25,217
What is wrong with you?
1189
01:05:25,322 --> 01:05:27,492
Relax.
1190
01:05:27,591 --> 01:05:29,291
This is a mistake.
1191
01:05:29,393 --> 01:05:31,103
Now, everyone gets
a little nervous...
1192
01:05:31,195 --> 01:05:32,695
about this procedure.
1193
01:05:32,796 --> 01:05:35,466
It"s easy.
First we shave you...
1194
01:05:35,565 --> 01:05:37,495
then we snip you and it"s over.
1195
01:05:37,601 --> 01:05:40,341
There is life after castration.
1196
01:05:42,039 --> 01:05:43,539
Let"s go.
1197
01:05:59,223 --> 01:06:01,293
Well, the plumbing works.
1198
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:06,300
Look, I gotta go.
1199
01:06:07,497 --> 01:06:08,497
Where"s Rushon?
1200
01:06:08,598 --> 01:06:09,728
I don"t know.
1201
01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:11,096
You lost Rushon?
1202
01:06:11,201 --> 01:06:12,871
I didn"t lose him. I just...
1203
01:06:12,969 --> 01:06:15,129
Look, I don"t have time for this.
L"II go look for him.
1204
01:06:15,205 --> 01:06:18,335
You try to find him, please.
Girlfriend, keep an eye on him.
1205
01:06:18,442 --> 01:06:22,552
All right, Mr. Martin, we"ve
already started anaesthesia.
1206
01:06:22,646 --> 01:06:26,146
You haven"t eaten
in the last 12 hours, right?
1207
01:06:26,250 --> 01:06:29,790
Just relax and start counting
backwards from 100.
1208
01:06:29,986 --> 01:06:31,656
Don"t take my johnson.
1209
01:06:31,755 --> 01:06:34,285
Don"t take...
1210
01:06:34,391 --> 01:06:37,361
All right, people, he"s out cold.
Let us tango.
1211
01:06:37,461 --> 01:06:39,031
Is he in there?
1212
01:06:39,129 --> 01:06:40,289
Thought I looked like a mama.
1213
01:06:40,364 --> 01:06:41,504
I like older women.
1214
01:06:42,499 --> 01:06:44,229
You trying to say I look old?
1215
01:06:44,334 --> 01:06:47,444
No, I"m saying you like a fine wine.
You just aged.
1216
01:06:47,537 --> 01:06:49,267
Check in there.
1217
01:06:51,108 --> 01:06:53,278
Oh, snap. Chia Pet.
1218
01:07:02,819 --> 01:07:05,759
It "s fine, it" s fine. Stop.
1219
01:07:08,225 --> 01:07:10,855
All right, she"s gone.
Let"s go.
1220
01:07:11,061 --> 01:07:13,801
Yeah, let"s go.
1221
01:07:13,897 --> 01:07:15,727
You probably ain"t
even ready for this.
1222
01:07:15,832 --> 01:07:17,672
No, you ain"t ready for this.
1223
01:07:19,503 --> 01:07:21,573
Wait a minute.
Here we go.
1224
01:07:21,671 --> 01:07:23,371
Why hasn"t this
man been prepped?
1225
01:07:23,473 --> 01:07:27,513
It doesn"t matter. We all make mistakes.
L"II do it myself. Razor.
1226
01:07:41,158 --> 01:07:43,258
Who"s your daddy?
Who"s your daddy?
1227
01:07:43,360 --> 01:07:46,430
Who"s your daddy?
Come up here, girl.
1228
01:07:46,530 --> 01:07:50,330
Bunz, wait. Look, look.
Somebody"s in here.
1229
01:07:50,434 --> 01:07:52,974
That jack-o"-lantern fool
is dead to the world.
1230
01:07:53,069 --> 01:07:54,639
Come on,
girl, let"s do this, now.
1231
01:07:54,738 --> 01:07:56,238
Come on.
1232
01:08:05,482 --> 01:08:07,482
Okay, now, come on.
1233
01:08:07,584 --> 01:08:09,624
I hope you ate your
corn flakes, baby,
1234
01:08:09,719 --> 01:08:11,689
because I"m gonna
go all night long.
1235
01:08:12,722 --> 01:08:15,192
Because I got stamina.
1236
01:08:15,292 --> 01:08:19,732
Wait. You got a condom, right?
No glove, no love.
1237
01:08:23,133 --> 01:08:25,173
Look, I got a glove right here.
1238
01:08:25,269 --> 01:08:28,539
May not be big enough to fit
on this big paloosa...
1239
01:08:28,638 --> 01:08:32,108
but we"II do the best we can.
There we go.
1240
01:08:32,209 --> 01:08:34,639
Are you ready?
Wait. Okay.
1241
01:08:34,744 --> 01:08:36,714
Line it up.
1242
01:08:39,549 --> 01:08:41,549
Oh, yes.
1243
01:08:41,651 --> 01:08:43,651
Don"t go too fast, now.
1244
01:08:51,761 --> 01:08:54,031
Oh, shit.
1245
01:08:54,264 --> 01:08:57,834
No, you didn"t.
1246
01:08:57,934 --> 01:09:00,174
I been holding
that one a long time.
1247
01:09:03,540 --> 01:09:04,840
That"s just a flare, baby.
1248
01:09:06,676 --> 01:09:08,706
Damn, my crippled ass...
1249
01:09:08,812 --> 01:09:11,882
could"ve rolled around in
her coochie longer than that.
1250
01:09:11,981 --> 01:09:16,251
He"s been watching us the whole time.
The whole three...
1251
01:09:16,353 --> 01:09:17,693
seconds.
1252
01:09:22,158 --> 01:09:24,488
I hope I didn"t
wear you out, now.
1253
01:09:24,594 --> 01:09:27,304
You need a cigarette or
something to bring you down?
1254
01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:46,550
Oh, my God, what are you doing?
1255
01:09:46,650 --> 01:09:49,590
L"m removing a metastasised
testicular growth.
1256
01:09:49,686 --> 01:09:51,356
If you"II excuse me...
1257
01:09:51,455 --> 01:09:53,555
What? Don"t touch his growth!
1258
01:09:53,657 --> 01:09:54,817
Get her out of here.
1259
01:09:54,924 --> 01:09:56,234
There"s been a mistake!
1260
01:09:56,326 --> 01:09:57,586
He doesn"t have insurance!
1261
01:09:58,495 --> 01:10:00,155
Fuck!
1262
01:10:00,264 --> 01:10:03,234
Get him down to County!
Goddamn stupid Admissions.
1263
01:10:03,333 --> 01:10:04,973
L"II be on the golf course.
1264
01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:07,601
Son of a bitch!
1265
01:10:12,809 --> 01:10:14,009
Hey, baby.
1266
01:10:14,210 --> 01:10:15,350
Hi, Rushon.
1267
01:10:17,213 --> 01:10:18,883
My leg... Oh, shit!
1268
01:10:18,982 --> 01:10:20,752
Don"t worry,
everything"s still there.
1269
01:10:20,850 --> 01:10:21,920
Almost.
1270
01:10:22,018 --> 01:10:23,258
Almost?
What you mean, "almost"?
1271
01:10:23,287 --> 01:10:26,387
Lay off the Magic Shave,
brother man.
1272
01:10:26,490 --> 01:10:30,930
Oh, my God, Nikki, no matter
what you do, don"t tell Bunz.
1273
01:10:31,027 --> 01:10:34,327
Here we go again, worrying about
what Bunz is gonna think.
1274
01:10:34,431 --> 01:10:37,971
Lord forbid you get
embarrassed in front of Bunz.
1275
01:10:39,803 --> 01:10:42,143
That "s what I" m
talking about, Rushon.
1276
01:10:42,238 --> 01:10:45,678
Nikki, you mean everything
to me, but, come on, it"s...
1277
01:10:45,775 --> 01:10:47,975
where a brother got
to draw the line.
1278
01:10:48,077 --> 01:10:51,417
And there comes a time where a
woman has got to draw the line.
1279
01:10:51,515 --> 01:10:52,745
Nikki.
1280
01:10:52,849 --> 01:10:54,619
Rushon...
1281
01:10:54,718 --> 01:10:57,848
sun"s up, you already
lost the bet, what else?
1282
01:10:57,954 --> 01:11:00,694
Hurry up. You definitely know
how to do that, Quick Draw.
1283
01:11:03,026 --> 01:11:05,426
Hey! What"s up?
1284
01:11:05,529 --> 01:11:06,769
That "s what I" ve been asking.
1285
01:11:06,830 --> 01:11:08,200
Mind your business.
1286
01:11:08,298 --> 01:11:09,728
Big Daddy-Haddy Not-No.
1287
01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:12,900
What"s up, man?
What"s up, boy?
1288
01:11:13,002 --> 01:11:14,942
Looking good.
They stitched you up?
1289
01:11:15,038 --> 01:11:16,638
Your boy here,
don"t sweat a thing.
1290
01:11:16,740 --> 01:11:18,610
You took care of me, boy.
1291
01:11:18,708 --> 01:11:22,348
Now that your boy is here,
I "m sure that you" II be fine.
1292
01:11:22,446 --> 01:11:24,776
Me and Lystie are leaving.
Come on.
1293
01:11:24,881 --> 01:11:26,051
Nikki.
1294
01:11:26,149 --> 01:11:27,349
Forget them tricks.
Let"s roll.
1295
01:11:27,451 --> 01:11:30,021
Nik... Nikki.
1296
01:11:30,119 --> 01:11:31,859
What do I gotta do to prove that
1297
01:11:31,955 --> 01:11:33,955
I don"t give
a fuck what Bunz thinks?
1298
01:11:34,057 --> 01:11:35,457
What is this?
Sorry, man.
1299
01:11:35,559 --> 01:11:37,459
Kick a Brother in
the Ding-Ding Day?
1300
01:11:37,561 --> 01:11:41,431
The proof is in the doing,
not the saying.
1301
01:11:41,531 --> 01:11:43,931
It"s getting late.
We"re going home.
1302
01:11:47,837 --> 01:11:49,807
All right, fuck it!
1303
01:11:52,376 --> 01:11:54,476
Bunz.
1304
01:11:54,578 --> 01:11:57,878
Hey, dog, what you doing? I
don"t wanna know you like this.
1305
01:11:59,015 --> 01:12:00,875
Rushon.
1306
01:12:00,984 --> 01:12:04,224
You do look younger with your
beard all cut off and everything.
1307
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:07,720
"Not only am I a client,
but I"m also the president."
1308
01:12:09,325 --> 01:12:12,025
Looks like
a popcorn shrimp, man.
1309
01:12:12,128 --> 01:12:14,258
Is that the best you can do?
Come on.
1310
01:12:14,364 --> 01:12:16,904
Looks like a doorstop.
1311
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:18,770
And you gonna tell
everybody we know
1312
01:12:18,868 --> 01:12:20,738
and embarrass
the hell out of me, right?
1313
01:12:20,837 --> 01:12:24,607
I got to. If I pull that,
would you get stronger?
1314
01:12:25,709 --> 01:12:27,509
There you go, brother.
1315
01:12:27,611 --> 01:12:29,651
You got a tight little ass.
Ass so tight...
1316
01:12:29,746 --> 01:12:32,416
you could squeeze a piece
of coal and shit a diamond.
1317
01:12:32,516 --> 01:12:33,876
Look at you, boy.
1318
01:12:35,785 --> 01:12:37,485
Did you see what was going on?
1319
01:12:37,587 --> 01:12:39,857
You need to stop joning, Speedy.
1320
01:12:39,956 --> 01:12:43,456
We need to really keep that
on the down low.
1321
01:12:43,560 --> 01:12:44,990
I been going
through counselling.
1322
01:12:45,094 --> 01:12:46,904
I wanted to talk
to you about it.
1323
01:12:46,996 --> 01:12:49,626
You didn"t give me a chance
to reach my climacticness.
1324
01:12:49,733 --> 01:12:50,873
You just got excited, right?
1325
01:12:50,967 --> 01:12:52,597
Yeah. I got excited.
1326
01:12:52,702 --> 01:12:54,742
Step over to this side
of the line or what?
1327
01:12:54,838 --> 01:12:56,808
And what"s over there for me?
1328
01:12:57,574 --> 01:12:59,384
I love you over here.
1329
01:13:08,552 --> 01:13:10,152
Look what they doing.
1330
01:13:14,991 --> 01:13:17,831
Ready to go with me?
Wanna go home?
1331
01:13:17,927 --> 01:13:19,227
My apartment.
1332
01:13:19,463 --> 01:13:20,803
You with me?
1333
01:13:20,897 --> 01:13:23,967
You sure?
Watch it, now.
1334
01:13:24,067 --> 01:13:26,167
Can"t touch.
Can"t touch the pork chop.
1335
01:13:26,269 --> 01:13:28,969
Can"t touch it.
It"II bite you.
1336
01:13:31,675 --> 01:13:34,475
That normally doesn"t happen
to me, but I had an accident.
1337
01:13:34,578 --> 01:13:38,518
A cat jumped in my lap and scratched
the left side of my shit.
1338
01:13:38,615 --> 01:13:41,945
So on the left side, I"m not functional.
I gotta hit it to the right.
1339
01:13:42,051 --> 01:13:43,491
You could learn a lot from him.
1340
01:13:43,587 --> 01:13:45,217
But I got this sports cream.
1341
01:13:45,321 --> 01:13:48,461
I put it on and I am
ready to go, you know?
1342
01:13:54,798 --> 01:13:57,998
Nikki, I am glad
you made me wait seven weeks.
1343
01:14:01,004 --> 01:14:03,014
Do you think they
used a razor or one
1344
01:14:03,106 --> 01:14:05,006
of those
hair-removal creams on you?
1345
01:14:05,108 --> 01:14:06,578
Razor.
1346
01:14:09,713 --> 01:14:11,523
You sure you know
what you"re doing?
1347
01:14:12,982 --> 01:14:15,122
Oh, yeah.
1348
01:14:15,218 --> 01:14:16,888
Where is Killa?
1349
01:14:16,986 --> 01:14:19,086
I "m sure Killa" s
around somewhere.
1350
01:14:19,188 --> 01:14:21,058
See?
He"s not even bothering us.
1351
01:14:21,157 --> 01:14:23,887
I told you you two would hit
it off and bond together.
1352
01:14:23,993 --> 01:14:26,733
Me and Killa have come
to an understanding.
1353
01:14:29,599 --> 01:14:32,199
I read this is supposed to
be bad for your kidneys.
1354
01:14:34,470 --> 01:14:36,010
Unless you"re a professional...
1355
01:14:36,105 --> 01:14:40,535
you shouldn"t go around like this.
Careful. Tendonitis.
1356
01:14:42,245 --> 01:14:44,545
Let"s get this party started.
1357
01:14:44,648 --> 01:14:45,648
Be gentle.
1358
01:14:46,305 --> 01:14:52,399
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