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Chop, chop!
2
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,280
Yes, coming.
3
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-European Association of Banks.
-Yes, and?
4
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,640
I have a lobbyist badge
but my trainee doesn't.
5
00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:20,720
She should be listed
as a visitor for the day
6
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,120
under MEP Frantz Kurz.
7
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Frantz Kurz.
8
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,760
-Oh, yes. Rose Pilkington?
-Yes.
9
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:33,120
-I'll need an ID, please.
-Ah, yes. Here you go.
10
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,040
Am I registered on your thing?
11
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,120
-Yes, why?
-No, nothing.
12
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:39,840
Fuck.
13
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,400
-Everything Okay?
-Yes.
14
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:43,840
I just used to work here,
15
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,440
so I thought maybe conflict
of interests.
16
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,080
We all used to work here.
No worries.
17
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,800
But you've quit
your assistant job, right?
18
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:54,120
Yes.
Yes, I handed my resignation.
19
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,120
Yeah, it's more
of a privacy thing for me.
20
00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:58,400
I know.
21
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,400
Transparency
is getting out of hand.
22
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,960
Soon they'll be testing us
for STDs. Hopefully not.
23
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,760
But for now, we're all
under the Lobbyist Register,
24
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,960
as will you be if you pass
this trial and join the European
25
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,440
Association of Banks:
"Your credit, our mission."
26
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,440
Banks!
27
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,400
Okay,
here is your accreditation.
28
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:21,440
Thank you.
29
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,040
MEP Kurz is waiting for you.
30
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,440
Appearances are everything.
31
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:26,960
We are the face,
32
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,320
the pretty face, if I might
say so, of an industry.
33
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,040
Millions of jobs, plenty
at stake. From the trader
34
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,960
in London worrying
about his year-end bonus,
35
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,960
to the banker
at your local branch
36
00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:40,880
who's dying to say
"yes" to that man
37
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,040
who really wants
to start a business.
38
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,600
Or to the indebted family
39
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,880
who really wants to offer
their last son a future
40
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:52,880
and pay for university fees,
or a new kitesurf for Christmas,
41
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,400
we're not here to judge.
42
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,240
We are here for them.
43
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,880
MEPs have been hyperventilating
44
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,440
since the 2008 crisis.
45
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,960
They want to regulate banks
to death.
46
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,680
Right now they're fixated
47
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,280
-on retail banking.
-Yes, interesting.
48
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,520
They've been churning out
amendments like mad.
49
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,360
And we want them
to drop those, yes.
50
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:17,680
-God, no!
-No.
51
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,240
Not at all.
52
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,840
For every problem, there
are several possible solutions.
53
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,800
There are some we like
and some we don't like.
54
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,520
Influence, persuade, convince,
55
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,680
lobbying has always been
necessary in every society.
56
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,960
My boss says that lobbying is
the world's oldest profession.
57
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,000
Loosen up a bit, girl.
58
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,000
We're not going to church.
59
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,240
Oh, darling. How are you?
60
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,120
Sorry, I just...
Can I get my shoes, please?
61
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:51,800
I've got some shoes in there.
62
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,200
-Chop, chop, chop!
-Yes.
63
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,000
I'll come back for my shoes.
64
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,720
What are you doing here?
65
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,640
-Well, I was waiting for you.
-Why behind the door?
66
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:34,960
To scare you.
67
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,200
Are you here in behalf
68
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,960
of Ingeborg to make sure I've
untabled the finning amendment?
69
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,480
Yeah, man, that's it!
Oh, thank you!
70
00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:46,400
I was waiting behind that door
for so long, I forgot.
71
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,240
I zoned out.
Zoned out. I'm sorry.
72
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:52,680
Did you untable it?
73
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:55,120
Not yet.
74
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,800
I don't know, man.
75
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,080
For a minute, I thought
I could make a difference.
76
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:03,840
Where are you going?
77
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,560
Where's your MEP?
78
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,800
He went to Fiji or something.
79
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,720
I love when MEPs
are on international trips.
80
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,560
It's like the film where
Macauley Culkin is forgotten
81
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,680
by his parents and gets molested
82
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,360
by these two creepy
home invaders.
83
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:19,680
That's not what happens
84
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,480
-in the movie.
-Dude, just drop that amendment.
85
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,920
Do like me, take some good time.
Enjoy your youth.
86
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,600
When people say, "enjoying
their youth", they mean
87
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:30,480
going to Thailand
and taking MDMA.
88
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:34,160
Most people have lousy dreams
they got from denim commercials.
89
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:40,040
That's probably the most
intelligent thing you've said.
90
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:42,720
Bingo!
91
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,800
We have another MEP
from the Greens in five minutes.
92
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,480
One floor up, 11.
93
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:53,160
Then two socialists in a row.
I thought we could see all three
94
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,240
at the same time,
do a group thing, but then
95
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:58,600
I thought it would be a bit
intense for your first day.
96
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,160
Perhaps, yeah.
97
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:04,720
So who's next?
98
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,160
-The next one is rough.
-How so?
99
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,400
He likes playing hard.
100
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:26,040
Hello, hello, Mr Jaager.
101
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,160
Come in, come in.
102
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:31,360
Come in, please.
103
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,400
Thank you.
104
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,840
-Take a seat.
-Yes.
105
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:35,840
Okay.
106
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:42,720
Okay.
107
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:47,280
-This is for my webpage.
-Oh, shit.
108
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,960
I publish all my meeting
with lobbyists.
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00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:53,360
As you know,
110
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,040
I never meet you guys alone.
111
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:57,800
-Let's go.
-Yes.
112
00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,240
Okay.
113
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:05,600
Shall we?
114
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,480
What are you doing, Torsten?
115
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,160
It's just so not cool
116
00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,480
that nobody got him
a corkscrew as a gift.
117
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,040
It's so simple.
118
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:17,360
We're not gonna drink wine.
It's not even 10.
119
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,680
It's sweet,
the perfect breakfast wine.
120
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,920
There's no such thing
as a breakfast wine.
121
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,280
And there's nothing
to celebrate.
122
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:26,160
-I've not given up on finning.
-I do not understand
123
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,680
why you put yourself in such
a state over a little pawn.
124
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,040
What are you doing?
125
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,360
I saw it on YouTube.
126
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,400
What do you mean "a pawn"?
127
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:40,840
It's...
128
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,600
The finning is just a pawn
to get a castle
129
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,160
on Ingeborg's chess game.
130
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,600
Can you explain it?
What do you mean?
131
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,120
One, two, three, four, five.
132
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:56,680
-Really?
-Yeah.
133
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,360
Don't put your feet
on my amendment.
134
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,920
Don't put it beneath my feet.
135
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:07,280
Let me explain to you something.
It's called "a bomb".
136
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,280
You put something explosive
in a report you don't like
137
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,600
to defuse a bomb
from someone else
138
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,720
in another report you do like.
139
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,600
You Spanish want
to fuck with my pet project?
140
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,600
Well, I've got this finning
amendment that I can blow up
141
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,920
and it's gonna fuck
your constituents hard.
142
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:24,720
It's like a bargaining chip.
143
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,920
-A chip, a pawn, a bomb...
-That's it.
144
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,600
I never knew how good I was
at metaphors.
145
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:32,040
That's so creative.
146
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,160
I'm not gonna untable
the amendment and doom
147
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,840
a whole species for your boss's
little political agenda!
148
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,360
-Are you texting Ingeborg?
-Yeah.
149
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,520
Wait, I might not untable it.
150
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,800
-I just have to think about it.
-Wait.
151
00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,160
Wait, she's writing back.
152
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:53,960
Okay, I'll do it.
153
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,920
I just have to make up my mind
and that's fine.
154
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,160
She's inviting you for lunch
at the MEPs' restaurant.
155
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,600
Well, that's... scary.
156
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:36,360
The issue is more
157
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,240
with the article
on safeguards, Article 43.
158
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:43,320
-44.
-Yes, sorry, Article 44.
159
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:47,600
That's why we think
your amendments on Article 76
160
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,360
-would be bad for business.
-Yes.
161
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,360
But would it be bad for
162
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,480
people?
163
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,840
The damage that
this kind of regulation
164
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,240
could do to the sector...
165
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,480
I think the banking sector has
been causing more damage than...
166
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,840
That wasn't
your initial position.
167
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,560
I like to try different
168
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:09,480
positions.
169
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,640
You have to pick one in the end.
170
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,240
And you know
what's best for me, I suppose.
171
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,320
We could find a position
that satisfies us both.
172
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,840
That would require
some level of creativity.
173
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:25,960
All right.
174
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,600
I think we're done here.
175
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,560
I could come again with our
association's detailed proposals
176
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,240
-That won't be necessary, Miss.
-Okay.
177
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,760
You do the lobbying,
I do the law-making.
178
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,240
Okay.
179
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:38,560
Thank you.
180
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,720
-Goodbye.
-That was great. Bye.
181
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:42,760
Thanks for coming.
182
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,720
Oh, goodbye, sorry.
I was distracted.
183
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,840
-Rose?
-Yes, coming, sorry.
184
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:50,760
That was tough.
185
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,600
I like it like that.
186
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,200
God, I love it like that.
187
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,120
Okay, each to their own.
188
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,640
-Rose?
-What? Yes.
189
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,240
I haven't untabled it yet.
I will do it after lunch.
190
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,640
She convinced me. It's over.
191
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,480
And she did not even invite me
for lunch, man!
192
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,360
Yeah, she doesn't eat.
193
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,600
Really? She never has lunch?
194
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,360
I have never seen her ingest
anything solid. Ever.
195
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,840
-Like... Ever.
-Yeah.
196
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:32,840
-Ever.
-Yeah, I get it.
197
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,840
That's because she gets
all the nutriments
198
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:38,880
from the children's blood
she sucks every day
199
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,600
in her dungeon.
200
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,480
-She's a vampire.
-Yeah.
201
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,000
And probably it's just babies,
you know?
202
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,120
With, like, little penises.
203
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,200
Samy.
204
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,560
Food fight!
205
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,040
What?
206
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,640
Well, you look... different.
207
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,920
You're not wearing trousers.
208
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:50,440
And yet you look more
uncomfortable than me.
209
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,840
I'm on a try-out for a new job.
210
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,560
They asked me
to dress like this.
211
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,880
"What, you're an escort?"
Very funny and clever.
212
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,360
I didn't say anything.
213
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,280
Plus, I'm the one who's not
wearing trousers.
214
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,680
-So, you're an escort now?
-Stop it.
215
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,560
I'm on a try-out
to be a lobbyist, so...
216
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:12,160
This is painful.
217
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,120
I didn't know you smoked.
218
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,840
Well, you know, I'm trying
it out. Fits the character, no?
219
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:25,280
I'm no expert but isn't it like
highly illegal to be both
220
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,280
an MEP assistant
and a trainee lobbyist?
221
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,200
Regarding conflict of interests?
222
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,840
I quit my job as
an assistant first, of course.
223
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,040
-Really?
-Yeah.
224
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,080
Yeah, I sent Sharon
a resignation email.
225
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,280
She's in Fiji and I'm in charge
of checking her emails, so...
226
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,320
So, you can actually get your
job back by deleting an email?
227
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,320
-Yeah, something like that.
228
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:47,800
Nice purse.
229
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,120
Thanks,
it was a gift from a client.
230
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:51,880
So...
231
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,400
And what's up with you?
232
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,520
I was thinking, I might not drop
the sharks in the end.
233
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,680
-Really?
-Yeah.
234
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,160
Let me guess.
You ran into a lobbyist?
235
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,520
Well...
236
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,160
Rose?
237
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:26,800
Rose?
238
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,120
-Rose!
-No!
239
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,120
Okay, I did!
But not that kind of lobbyist!
240
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,280
-Yeah?
-Yeah!
241
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:36,120
They said that there are
no unimportant struggles,
242
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,680
how sharks don't deserve to die
243
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,760
simply because they don't vote,
that kind of thing?
244
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,360
Okay, Guido is a lobbyist,
245
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,560
but he actually advocates
for fishermen, so...
246
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,920
Guide Bonafide?
247
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,320
He works for a consulting firm.
248
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:50,360
So?
249
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,760
So he's a gun for hire.
250
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:54,600
Yesterday he was working
for fishermen,
251
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,560
today for an environmental NGO.
In fact,
252
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,760
I can check, because...
253
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:05,280
-What?
-Yeah.
254
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,320
He actually is, since yesterday.
255
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,120
It's on the Parliament
Lobbyist Register.
256
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:11,600
Since yesterday.
257
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:13,840
Yep.
258
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:18,280
I hate this place. Wait, Rose.
What should I do?
259
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,640
-Maybe put some pants on.
260
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,360
It's funny. Seriously,
I'm lost. Can you help me?
261
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,320
No, I can't.
I have to go and meet
262
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,280
a client at Crowne Plaza.
263
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,160
For a drink, so...
264
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,040
-For a normal...
-I didn't say anything.
265
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:37,640
Okay, good, cos I didn't mean
anything by that.
266
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,840
-Yeah, okay. Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
267
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,640
Have a nice evening.
268
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,120
Anyone have the key
269
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:01,320
for the door?
270
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:13,920
Make way for the People's Army!
271
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,000
Rose?
272
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:18,920
Rose?
273
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,400
There you are.
274
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:26,600
-Hi, Sharon.
-Hello.
275
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,320
-How are you?
-Good.
276
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,760
Yes? How was Fiji?
277
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:35,040
Did you know those people
are ours? I didn't know that.
278
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,880
Well, they're members
of the Commonwealth, but...
279
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:40,080
So...
280
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,360
It's so nice to be home.
281
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,920
Did anything special happen
while I wasn't here?
282
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:50,360
-No, nothing, business as usual.
-Good.
283
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,680
Cos during one of those
boring meetings in Fiji,
284
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,360
I was checking on my emails...
285
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:59,080
Yes, I actually have got
a gift for you.
286
00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,840
A little welcome-home gift,
thought you'd like it.
287
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,600
That's nice!
288
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,680
-That's very nice.
-Yeah?
289
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,320
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
290
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:11,640
-That's a lovely purse.
-I've got work to do.
291
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,600
A very nice bag.
292
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,880
Thank you.
293
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:17,920
I like it.
294
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:39,920
Eamon?
20906
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