All language subtitles for Murphys.Law.1986.

Hey!

Hey, that's my car!

You can't steal my car. I'm a cop.

Oh, my God!

Shit!

Freeze!

OK! OK, you've got me.

Enjoying yourself, pervert?

Jesus, would you take it easy,
Dick Tracy?

Move.

- Can I just ask you one question?
- Yeah. What?

How come all cops
have two-inch peckers?

Damn.

Yeah?

What time is it?

Where?

Yeah. I'll meet you there.
OK, OK. I'll meet you there.

Jeez.

I like that wrinkled look. It's very sexy.

Next time go the whole way.
Ask for less starch.

I had a hard night.

Don't talk to me about hard till you spend
a night with Charlene. Total nympho.

She couldn't keep her hands off me.
I was so sore, I thought it would fall off.

Jesus, Art,
I don't wanna hear about your sex life.

- My head's killing me.
- Too much firewater last night?

- You've been hitting it a little strong.
- I've got everything under control, OK?

- What have we got here?
- Her name's Teri Kaplan.

Teri Kaplan. Teri Kaplan?

- One of Anthony Vincenzo's girls?
- That's her.

Hey, Sergeant.
Think I've found something.

Give me a stick or a pen or something.

Anthony Alberto Vincenzo.

- Hey, Frank. How's the cocaine business?
- I wouldn't know.

That's right. You're not a drug dealer,
you're an importer.

And your brother's not
a scum-sucking pimp. He's a talent agent.

This is my mother.
Don't talk that way in front of my mother.

- Who the hell do you think you are?
- I'll tell you.

I'm the man who's gonna
arrest your brother for murder.

Haven't seen him.

When you do, tell him
the smart thing to do is turn himself in.

This time we got him by the balls.

I'm sorry.
I don't mean balls. I mean chandeliers.

We have him by the chandeliers.

You're interrupting our meal. Beat it.

Murphy. Let me ask you.
You ever hear of Murphy's Law?

If anything can possibly go wrong, it will.

A lot of things could happen to you.
You could get run over by a truck.

Your gas heater could blow up
or you could lose a wheel on the freeway.

You gotta remember that.

The only law I know
is Jack Murphy's Law.

That's very simple.

Don't fuck with Jack Murphy.
You remember that.

Continental Coach Lines
number 28 arriving ramp 16.

Ventura, Santa Paula, and Oxnard.

�ltima llamada. Continental Coach Lines
servicio directo para San Francisco

sale de la salida n�mero siete.

Atenci�n, por favor.

El Sunliner Express
destinaci�n San Diego

sale en 30 minutos
de la salida n�mero cinco.

Attention, please.
The Sunliner Express to San Diego

departs in 30 minutes from ramp five.

Mr Cameron?

Howdy.

- Where are the addresses?
- Right here.

Had a little trouble with one of them.
Ben Wilcove.

Seems he retired a few years ago,

moved up into the mountains a-ways.

Wasn't easy to find.

- But you found him?
- Oh, yeah.

But like I say,
it took a bit longer than I figured.

Uh, I'm gonna have to charge you
a little more than we originally agreed on.

How much more?

With expenses and everything,
let's say another two grand.

Go to hell.

Miss Freeman.

Miss Freeman.

Hey, do you want these addresses or not?

You can go to somebody else
if you wanna.

But if these people were to find out
you was looking for them,

I wonder how they'd feel about that.

You really are a slime, aren't ya?

No, ma'am. Just a private investigator.

Of course, some people would say
that's the same thing.

All right. $2,000.

That'll be cash on delivery,
if you don't mind.

- How about traveller's cheques?
- That'd be all right.

Well, since you put it that way,

I guess we can forget about the extra
expenses and all and just call it even.

- Nice doing business with you, ma'am.
- Move a hair and I'll blow your head off.

Now, wait a minute.
You can have my wallet.

- There's almost $100 in it.
- I don't want your money.

All I want is for you to say "Ah".

- What do you mean?
- You know. Like in a doctor's office.

- Do it.
- Ah.

You can do better than that.

Make it bigger. Ahhh.

Ah-ah-ah-ah.

Perfect.

Hello.

- Jack Murphy?
- Yeah.

Hello.

Hello? What the hell is this?
Some kind of game?

Yes. And the game is just beginning.

I'm gonna kill you.

But first I'm gonna put you through hell.

Marie?

I thought her name was Charlene.

Charlene's history. Marie's the future.

Incredible imagination. I've been a cop 18
years. She knows words I've never heard.

Say, Murph.
I like your tie. Specially the stains.

Looks like the sewer backed up again.

I was at Madame Tong's the other night.
Saw your wife. Nice tits.

- Hey, lay it down.
- Taste as good as they look?

Break it up, goddammit! Stop it!

- Ease up.
- What the hell's wrong with you two?

Murphy! My office, now.

Let's go clean up.

- What was that all about?
- It's something personal.

I don't understand you.
Look at you. You're a mess.

You look like
you just got out of that drunk tank.

You think you're the only man
whose wife ever left him?

Over three quarters of the cops
in the police force are divorced.

Maybe you think you can hide in a bottle?

You better get your act together, Jack,
or you're gonna lose everything you got.

Ah.

Get the hell outta here.

Bingo. That was airport security.

A man matching Tony Vincenzo's
description bought a ticket for Vegas.

His plane leaves in 20 minutes.

Attention, please. International
Airlines flight 643 to Las Vegas

has been delayed 30 minutes.

Southwest Airlines flight 702...

Hold it!

Stay away from me
or I'll blow her head off!

- Get back! Get back!
- Freeze!

Get back! Get back!

Move it! I said move! Move it!

Move it! All right!

Tony!

- Watch it!
- Somebody call it in?

- What happened here?
- It's all under control.

- Over here!
- This way, Sergeant!

Bambino!

Mamma. Mamma, the car's waiting.

He was a good boy.

A decent boy.

Your brother is dead.

- What are you gonna do about it?
- I'll take care of it, Mamma.

I want that bastard cop dead.
Do you hear me?

I want him crucified.

All right, fellas,
put your hands together...

Yeah!

Over here! Over here! Yeah!

Next up on the stage, fellas,
is a girl you're really gonna love.

Put your hands together
and welcome Philly Flash.

Hi.

You got the notice?

Yeah.

- So now it's official?
- I tried to call you.

Your phone's been disconnected.

I moved. I'm living with Carl.
He's the manager of the club.

Jan, what are you doing here?

- Don't start.
- Why do you work in a dump like this?

- I'm a dancer.
- You call that dancing?

Yes. If you don't like it,
don't come around.

$5.40.

Watch it, snot-rag!

Hey!

You can't come in here!

Come on out
or I'll put a bullet through the door.

OK! OK, I'm coming.

Go ahead, camel-crotch. Shoot me.

Don't tempt me.

Ow! God, you snot-licking donkey fart!

- Get up.
- I think I hurt my back.

Poor girl. Let me help you.

You stupid... Ow!

Jissom-breath. Scrotum-cheeks.

Bug-sucking booger.

You're gonna regret this.

Dinosaur dork.

Fuckbrains.

Hey. I wanna file a complaint against
this scumbag cop here. Police brutality.

He assaulted me for no reason
and then he tried to rape me.

Sounds like
you got yourself a real live one.

Suck a doorknob, you homo.

She got any ID?

Get your hands off me, faggot!

Get this. Arabella.

- Arabella McGee.
- Arabella.

- Cute.
- Sit on it, slimeball.

- Have a nice day, Arabella.
- Eat it, toe-jam. Monkey-vomit!

The dancing never stops
here at Madame Tong's.

Let's put our hands together
and welcome the sparkling, vivacious...

- Back again?
- Yeah. Slumming.

Why don't you just go home
and leave me alone?

I'm tired of you following me,
spying on me.

You know what you look like up there?
You look like a whore.

- You bastard!
- OK, that's enough, now.

You got a problem? You're bothering
my employees. Go and sleep it off.

Up there you look like a whore.

And your boyfriend here looks like a pimp.

- Sir, you observed the vehicle?
- Yeah.

It was a grey Oldsmobile. Pretty new.

Maybe an '83 or an '84.
Oh, the licence plate number.

It was 082 UCK.

- What the hell are you guys doing here?
- You're under arrest, smart guy.

A dozen witnesses saw you arguing
with your wife at Madame Tong's tonight.

And a witness saw you driving away
from the scene of the shooting.

Ever occur to you
that someone's trying to frame me?

Know what I think?

I think your wife left you,
started dancing at a topless club,

showing off all her goodies to a bunch
of horny lowlifes, and you hated it.

When you found out she was
with someone else, you killed them.

Why don't you crawl back
under your rock?

Come on, Jack. Come on.
Let's face it. She was a slut.

It wasn't the first time you caught her
in bed with somebody else.

How many guys was it then? Two? I'm
surprised you didn't knock her off then.

Unless you enjoyed it.

Did you watch her doing it?

You know, Ed, I've been wondering
something about you for a long time.

Why is it you never married?
Never even saw you with a girl.

Is it because you're so ugly
and because you have bad breath?

A lot of guys have bad breath,
but they also have girls.

Maybe you don't like girls, huh?

And maybe that's why you two boys
spend so much time together.

Whaddya know?

Ballistics identified your gun
as the murder weapon.

You're going to jail, Jack. You know
what happens to a cop in jail? Huh?

You're dead meat, pal. Dead meat.

Your arraignment is tomorrow.
The DA'll probably go for second-degree.

But since you'd been drinking, we can
make a case for diminished capacity.

Say you plead guilty
to voluntary manslaughter.

We're talking maybe eight years,

which means you should be out
in three to four.

Did it ever cross your mind
that I'm innocent?

Frankly, no.

Sit down.

Must be your lucky day.

Well, if it isn't Sergeant Dickbrain.

I heard they arrested a cop.
What did you do, rape a nun?

Listen, you're gonna have a great time
in San Quentin cos they just love cops.

So how do you like lockup?

- Find yourself a girlfriend yet, hm?
- Kiss my squirrel.

Come on, admit it. You're a dyke, right?

- Go jump a flagpole.
- You know, I'm a cop.

I know everything that happens
in women's detention.

Maybe the first time they hold you down,
but you get to like it...

Kiss my pantihose, sperm bank.

I bet your girlfriend does that
and you love it.

You fucking bastard!

Hey, you two, knock it off over there!

Come on, break it up! Break it up!

Come on, break it up! Break it up!

- What the hell are you doing?
- Do what I tell you.

Get the keys out of the door.
Quick! Come on!

You! Don't make a sound or I'll kill her.

Drop your gun and keys
on the floor. Quick!

Come on! Come on! Hurry it!

Get in that cell.

Hurry it! Hurry it! Lock it.

Come on. Come on.

Help! Escaped prisoner! Help!

This is crazy. You'll get us both killed.

- You're never gonna get outta here.
- Not by the front door, I won't.

The elevator.

Escaped prisoners in the elevator
on their way down.

Why don't you just put the gun down?

You seem like a decent enough guy.
You're just having an off day.

Besides, you don't wanna kill me. I'm
actually a very nice person. I really am.

We got off on the wrong foot with me
stealing your car, but that was a mistake.

By the way,
you've got excellent taste in cars.

- Don't you ever shut up?
- Go screw yourself, mutant.

- Watch your mouth.
- Watch your asshole, asshole.

What is the matter with you guys
up there? Can't keep a guy in lockup?

- What's going on?
- Murphy's got a gun and a hostage.

Shit. They must have gotten off
on another floor. Let's go.

That's it. I quit. I'm tired of you
pushing me around, booger-bits. If you...

You can make this hard or make it easy.
Which is it gonna be?

- OK.
- I don't hear you.

- OK.
- You were saying?

I said OK,
you snot-sucking garbage dump.

A helicopter? Are you crazy?

- I was a crew chief on one during the war.
- What the hell does that mean?

It means I can fly one of these things...
a little.

Close that door.

- When was the last time you flew one?
- 1964.

Oh, my God.

- I need to see your clearance.
- This is my clearance. Back off.

Murphy! Put it down and get out!

Come on! Drop it!

Hold your fire, dammit!

Oh, Murphy, you fucking idiot!

I don't like heights. I don't like planes.

I don't like flying.
And I especially don't like helicopters.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

On second thought, maybe not.

- Can we take that one up?
- It's got engine trouble.

Get hold of the coastguard.
I want another chopper, like, yesterday.

Hey, air-wolf,
where the hell are we going?

- Oh, my God. What is it?
- Damn! We're out of fuel!

What do you mean, we're out of fuel?
We can't be out of fuel.

Oh, my God! We're out of fuel!

I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!

- I don't wanna die.
- Hang on, now. Hang on.

I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna die. I don't...

I don't wanna die.

I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die.

Hey. We've already landed.

- Where are we?
- On a barn.

A barn?
I don't believe this is happening to me.

You know what this is?
This is the worst day of my life.

You know why? Because of you, barf bag.

Hey, pubic hair, I'm talking to you!

I think we'd better get away
before somebody spots this chopper.

Uh, no way, Jos�. I'm staying right here.

As long as we got these,
where I go, you go.

Hello there!

Get the hell out of there! Let's go!

Look what the hell
you've done to my barn! Who are you?

This guy's an escaped killer, the
helicopter's stolen and I'm his hostage.

You stole a police helicopter?
What do you think I am, stupid?

It happens to be true, jock-itch. Call
the cops and let 'em know where we are.

Did you hear that, boys?
All we gotta do is call the cops.

- While we're at it, let's call the governor.
- And the president.

Look, penis envy,
if you don't call the cops, I will!

They're not gonna call anybody.

Look at all this shit.
This is a dope farm.

Hey! No kidding?

You guys grow marijuana?

Come on,
let's light up a few joints and party.

This little girl wants to party.

- We should give the girl what she wants.
- Oh, yes.

- Kiss my ass!
- Get away from her.

You bastard!

- Hold this bitch down.
- With pleasure.

Get off me, you fucking son of a bitch!

Want me to hurt you, baby?
Want me to hurt you? Cos I'll hurt you.

No!

Nothing you can do about it.
Just lay back and enjoy it.

Don't, you son of a bitch!

- Come on, baby. Come on.
- No! Murphy!

Let's be friends. Cos I'm gonna give it
to you like you ain't never had it before.

- Don't!
- I want her second, Kelly.

Murphy! Don't! Get off, you...

Look, don't do it! Don't do it!

Don't do it, man. Please don't do it.

- Not having such a good time now?
- Please, man, don't kill us. Please, man.

First one who sticks his head out the door
gets it blown off.

OK, man. OK.

- Can you wire that truck?
- Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Check this out. They left the keys.

Hello?

Anybody here?

Hello?

Murphy, come on. Murphy?
Come on. Murphy, please.

Come on.
Don't dump on me, you buffalo shit.

Hey, come on, Murphy.

Hey, come on, Murphy.

Hello?

I'm calling you a doctor.

Put that phone down.

Who are you?

There's a friend of yours
in the other room and he's hurt.

- What's his name?
- Murphy.

- Where did you learn stitches like that?
- In the medical corps in Korea.

- He gonna be all right?
- He's got himself a concussion.

He'll probably be OK
in a couple of days or so.

He's going to have a hell of a headache,
though.

I'm Ben Wilcove. You got a name?

Arabella McGee.

- You hungry, McGee?
- Yeah.

- You a cop?
- I used to be.

What happened?

I got shot in the back with a.22
by a 16-year-old kid.

- You don't like cops much, huh?
- Not much.

I don't either.

- Morning.
- Morning.

- How you feeling?
- I've seen better days.

- Where's Ben?
- Outside somewhere.

Hey. You shouldn't be drinking, you know.

Yeah, I know.

You always this friendly, huh?

Listen, kid. I know you don't like me.

Well, I don't like you.

I know you don't wanna be here and I
don't want you to be here, so let's let it go.

Fine.

Ow! Dammit!

Here.

- What the hell is it?
- It happens to be an omelette.

I thought maybe you'd like something
for breakfast besides Jack Daniel's.

Jesus. If I was going to eat anything,
it wouldn't be that garbage.

Fine, dog-snot. Don't eat it.

Wear it!

You know, Murphy,
you have always been a stupid jerk,

but this time
you are a particular kind of stupid jerk.

- What the hell are you talking about?
- She just took off.

It's fine by me.

Murphy.

You're gonna need a gun, man.

- This gun looks familiar.
- It should be.

It's my old backup piece
and it saved my butt, man.

Maybe it can take care of yours.

Chances are I will need it.

No, you just get the bastard
that framed you.

Take care, old friend.

Murph?

McGee?

Ugh!

- Hey!
- Why don't you just go away?

You're a jinx. Every time
you show up in my life, things go wrong.

First I get arrested,
then I get railroaded into this jailbreak.

Why don't you just go away before
an aeroplane falls on me or something?

I'm sorry. You're not a bad guy for a cop.

It's just that I don't wanna get involved
in your problems. I got enough of my own.

And don't worry. When I turn myself in
I won't tell the cops where you are.

Thanks. Now get in.

Get in.

I must have boogers for brains.
What the hell am I doing here?

- Hey, pull over. I'm hungry.
- I'm not.

Look, whisky-breath. Maybe all you need
is a bottle. I want food.

You better take a look at this.

Terrific, huh?
They think I'm your accomplice.

He was a pretty nice old guy, huh?

God, who would have killed him?

The same son of a bitch
who killed my ex-wife.

- Frank Vincenzo.
- Jesus.

Don't you ever make any friends?

- We're gonna split. Go.
- Forget it, dog-piss!

The only way I get off the hook is if
you do, cos the cops are looking for me.

So from now on, pal, where you go, I go.

You stay with me, you do what I tell you.
Do you hear?

- How are you, Judge Kellerman?
- Fine, thank you.

The chef recommends you try
the breast of quail

stuffed with fresh dates,
covered with raspberry vinegar sauce

- and sprinkled with roasted hazelnuts.
- Sounds good.

- And a bottle of Veuve Clicquot.
- Certainly.

Excuse me.

I know this is gonna sound very corny,
but have we ever met?

- I don't know. Have we?
- You seem so familiar to me.

I was about to have dessert.
Would you join me?

I'd like that very much.

- Doesn't that feel good?
- Oh, it feels wonderful!

- That feels so good!
- How long's it been...

Well, I must say no one since you've
given me a bath has ever given me a bath.

Oh, come, now! Certainly
someone's given you a bath before.

Ooh, are you ticklish!

Ooh, tickle!

Right. I'll get back to you.

Hi, guys. I don't mean to bother you,
but I got a flat tyre out there

and I was wondering
if you could help me fix it.

- I'm freezing.
- Come on inside.

Jack, you wanna fix the lady's tyre? OK?

The spare's in the back.

Well.

Nice place you got here.
Bet you a lot of important people live here.

A few.

Bet you none of 'em
are as good-looking as you are.

Any of these apartments empty?

We got a couple.

Why don't we go upstairs
and take a look, huh?

I bet the view is fantastic.

Hey, Jack, I'm gonna take a little break.

Be back in about 20 minutes.

Nice bed!
You know what? Pink really gets me hot.

Yeah? Me too.

You know what?
I've never felt anything so small.

- Agh!
- Murphy! Where the hell are you?

- What took you so long?
- I didn't want to interrupt love in bloom.

Pepe's Pizza!
You never had a piece like this!

- Hi. $9.75.
- Nobody up here ordered pizza.

- Some guy named Guido.
- You made a mistake. There's no Guido.

This is the penthouse? I got a large
sausage and mushroom pizza for Guido.

- How did you get up here anyway?
- The elevator, anchovy-breath.

The elevator
don't come up here without a key.

It did for me.

All I know is somebody owes me $9.75.
I'm not budging till I get paid.

I wouldn't if I didn't have to,
pepperoni-breath.

Where's Vincenzo?

Yes.

Mm-hm.

Mm. Ooh.

I think I'm gonna like that. Mm.

Ooh, yeah.

Do it.

Mm. Do it now.

Mm.

Mm. Do it now.

Oh, baby.

- Do it. Mm...
- Hey, hot pants.

If you know what's good for you, get out.

- Lock her in the bathroom.
- Come on, Goldilocks.

You son of a bitch.

You killed my ex-wife and my best friend.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Then you had me framed
for their murders.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Does your mother know what you do?

I didn't do it! I didn't do it!

No, you just paid someone else to do it.

- And I want his name.
- I don't have a name.

You're crazy, Murphy.
You're just crazy. You're really nuts.

We're gonna play a little roulette.
One bullet left.

I want a name.

- Give me a name, Frank.
- I...

You're running out of luck, Frank.

Help me! Danny! Ow!

Three left, Frank. Give me a name.

I don't have a name.

- A name.
- I didn't hurt anybody.

I didn't kill anybody. I didn't.

I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.

- Two more left, Frank.
- I didn't.

The chances are 50-50, Frank.

I hate to say it,
but I think he's telling the truth.

The gun was empty, Frank.

- So much for your big play. Now what?
- I don't know yet.

Great. We're wanted for murder, we've got
a Mafia psycho who wants to bury us

and you're out of ideas?
Thanks a lot, douche bag.

If you don't wanna hang around, go.

- Thanks for keeping my seat warm.
- Murphy, you ain't worth shit,

but right now you're all I got.

Aw, shit, Jack.

You almost gave me a heart attack.

If I help you and the department finds out,

I could lose my badge, my pension,
my career, and I owe up to here.

My life is on the line.
Someone's framed me for three murders.

If I don't find out who,
they'll put me away for a long time.

Come on, weenie roast. Help the guy out.

Butt out, sweetheart.
Nobody's talking to you.

- Have a hernia, motor-mouth!
- Why don't you park your tongue?

Why don't you pull on it?
If you can find it.

Why don't the both of you shut up?

Jesus Christ!
What is this, romper room?

Art, I've run out of options.
You have to help me.

What do you want?

I want a list of homicide cases
that Wilcove and I worked on.

Someone we put away for a lot of years.
Got out in the last couple of months.

- To do that I gotta use the computer.
- Yeah.

- Where will I get authorisation for that?
- You'll find a way.

Oh, right. Thanks.

You're welcome, dildo-nose.

How much money
do I pay you clowns to protect me?

What happens? Some cop waltzes in here,
you don't do a goddamn thing about it.

Put the word on the street. $10,000
to anybody who knows where Murphy is.

I want him. You hear me?

And you better find him for me,

or there's gonna be four corpses
floating in the goddamn marina!

What?

Nothing.

- Don't you have something to do?
- No.

Damn.

What am I, a TV?

Maybe you want to look at me,
but I don't want to look at you.

Who says I wanna look at you?

Sometimes I got a big mouth.

No comment.

- It's one of my faults.
- You have faults?

- You ain't no charmer either, you know.
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Maybe.

- Wanna sandwich?
- Sure.

- No mayonnaise.
- How can you eat a sandwich without it?

- I don't like mayonnaise.
- Everybody likes mayonnaise.

I don't like mayonnaise.

OK. No mayonnaise.

- How old are you, kid?
- Why?

- Just wondering.
- How long have I been stealing cars?

I know to you I'm just a lowlife.

The way I see it, being a thief
is better than being a whore.

I never said you were a lowlife.

Eat your sandwich.

How old are you?

Too old.

For what?

You're not so bad. You stop
the boozing, you'd look a lot better.

- Thanks.
- I'm serious.

Besides... personally, I like 'em older.

Is that so?

- Is it true what they say about cops?
- What?

That their... their guns are
substitutes for their wangs.

- Don't you count on it.
- Oh, yeah?

Prove it.

- Yeah?
- I got three names for you.

- Shoot.
- Remember a guy named Red LaSalle?

I don't think this is his style.

- Number two is Jerry Myers.
- I remember him.

You tagged him for taking out
a union leader. He swore he'd nail you.

- What about number three?
- It's a real long shot.

This happened about ten years ago.
Do you remember Joan Freeman?

They put her in Camarillo.

- Not any more. They cut her loose.
- Jesus. Where is she now?

She's staying in one of those old
downtown hotels called the Sunset.

Listen, Art.
What was the judge's name at her trial?

Uh... Kellerman. Hear what happened
to him? He fried himself.

Murphy? Are you still there?

Joan?

Joan?

- How have you been doing?
- Pretty well.

No trouble adjusting to the outside world?

I don't think so.
I feel pretty good about myself.

Good. How's the job working out?

Well, actually I decided not to take it.

- Why not?
- Cos I got another job. A better job.

Terrific. Doing what?

In a way, you see, I owe it all to you.

You taught me
I could do anything I wanted.

You taught me how to believe in myself.

Wonderful. So what's the job?

I'll show you.

What's this?

My job.

I don't understand. Who are these people?

The ones who sent me away.

You never should have let me out,
you know.

I really am crazy.

Ugh!

The hotel is not responsible
for the loss of personal valuables.

I'm talking almost $200, man.

Look, Helen Keller, read my lips.

The hotel is not responsible
for the loss of personal valuables.

Oh, yeah? When it comes time to pay
my rent, we'll see who's responsible.

Fucking schwarzer.

- Which room is Joan Freeman in?
- Sorry, pal, the guest list is confidential.

- Can you count to five?
- Sure.

- How would you like to try without teeth?
- It's, uh, 604.

Yeah, this is Marty down at the Sunset.

What are we doing here?

Just looking.

Sounds like fun.

Murphy!

Could you come here?

- Come on, man, what room?
- They're in 604.

Hey! Where's my money?

- Who's that stiff?
- I don't know, but I gotta get to Malibu.

Malibu? Don't you think
it's a little cold to go surfing?

Go!

Happened about ten years ago.

She had a boyfriend who worked as
a security guard in the Bradbury Building.

She was down there visiting him one day
and they got into an argument.

Then she flipped out,
grabbed his gun and shot him.

By the time we got there,
she was up on the roof with a hostage.

That's why she framed you.

She killed Wilcove cos he was
your partner and you arrested her.

And Kellerman
because he was the judge at the trial.

But who's this guy in Malibu?

Albert Skinner? He was the prosecutor.

Mr Skinner?

Nice digs.

This dude must have robbed
a couple of banks, huh?

I'll take a look upstairs.
If I see any bodies, I'll give a yell.

Mr Skinner?

Hey, Mr Skinner?

Hey!

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Skinner?

McGee?

Arabella?

Arabella?

- Homicide.
- Give me Art Penney.

- He isn't here.
- Let me talk to the lieutenant.

- He's not here either.
- Oh, damn. Who's this?

This is Sergeant Reineke.
Who the hell is this?

Shit.

- Ed, it's Murphy.
- Murphy, you son of a bitch.

- I know who killed Ben Wilcove.
- Yeah, it was you, you bastard.

Shut up and pay attention.

I've been set up, framed by a woman.
Her name's Joan Freeman.

You talk to Art. He knows who she is.

Have the lieutenant send some men to
the Bradbury Building. She's on her way.

All right, I'll do that,
but come on in, we'll talk about it.

I don't have time for this crap.
The woman has a hostage.

Get hold of the lieutenant
and I'll meet him down there.

Hey, Ed. What are you doing?

Fine. Fine.

- He's inside.
- Go get him.

- Alone?
- What are you, afraid of him?

- Murphy?
- Up here.

- She's somewhere in the building.
- Who? Your fairy godmother?

Hold it right there. Put your gun down.

- Where's the lieutenant?
- He's at home watching TV.

Put it down!

You don't have to worry, Jack.
I got a friend waiting for you outside.

Frankie Vincenzo
wants to share some pasta with you.

You dirty bastard.

You're on the wrong side, Jack.

But it doesn't matter. You always were
a loser anyway. Come on.

You're running out of friends, Murphy.

You better hurry!

We're waiting for you.

Where the fuck is he?

Maybe he ain't coming back.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Let's do it.

Who does he think he is? Cochise?

Find him!

Al? Al, did you get him?

Why don't you come up
and get me yourself, Frank?

Remember what I told you
about Murphy's Law?

Did you remember what I told you?

Don't fuck with Jack Murphy.

You're pretty good, Murphy.
But not good enough.

It's time for your girlfriend to die.

Say bye-bye to the little bitch.

What took you so long, butt-crust?

No!

Now it's just you and me.

Do you really hate me now, Murphy?

Could you possibly hate me
as much as I hate you?

Please... help me.

Help me. Please.

Help me, dammit!

Oh... You go to hell!

Ladies first.

Move 'em back! Move 'em back!

Move these people back.

Lift.

- You got it?
- Yeah.

These go over your side.

Yeah, in the socket. DOA.

Hey, would you dinosaur dorks move it
before I bleed to death?

- There it is.
- Jesus Christ!

What are you grinning at, snot-rag?

Next time...
Next time I get hold of a bar of soap,

I'm gonna wash out your mouth all the
way down to the other end of your body.

Yeah, well,
blow it out your ass, sperm count.

Guess I'll make that a case of soap.

LA's just a movie set,
you're a flash in the pan

Sweat drips from your forehead
while your foot's stuck in the sand

You're pushing 105 on the freeway
cos you've got to get to nowhere

You see the flashing red
in your rear-view but you don't care

Murphy's Law

If anything could possibly go wrong,
it will

Hey

You wait in line to pay the fine
but you're standing at the wrong window

Then she says "We close at five,
so come back tomorrow"

You dodge the traffic, you fight the smog
but the paper's in the mail

Somehow you knew all along
that you would fail

Murphy's Law

It could happen to you

Murphy's Law

You better know what to do

Murphy said
if anything could possibly go wrong

It will

You may be down and out,
you may not have a friend

But there's something inside driving
you, you never let the freeway end

You say when you're not looking,
that's when things are found

But when everyone's out looking
for you, it takes guts to turn around

Murphy's Law

Murphy's Law

Visiontext Subtitles: Gill Parrott

ENHOH