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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Peyton got it.
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Peyton got it?
3
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Ugh. I don't believe it.
4
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:58,267
Oh, why does everyone
care so much about Peyton?
5
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You should meet with Dean Chang.
Make her give you some answers.
6
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Seriously, let's
schedule an appointment.
7
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Why? What's she gonna say?
8
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Anyway, I'm fine. I didn't
become a surgeon for fellowships.
9
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I did it because I wanted to help people
10
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without having to talk to them.
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Just ask her what happened so you'll
know you did everything you could.
12
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- I mean, Peyton?
- Please stop.
13
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Okay.
14
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Well, I'm sorry, sweetheart.
15
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It's just a doggy-dog world.
16
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I'm sorry, did you just say
it's a "doggy-dog" world?
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No, when a fellowship that
should so clearly go to you,
18
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- goes to someone...
- Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
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Doggy-dog?
20
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Oh, Mel.
21
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You just put me in a
really difficult position
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because I need you to
keep saying "doggy-dog,"
23
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but it's my obligation to tell you
24
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that the expression is "dog-eat-dog."
25
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Uh, I don't think so. It's doggy-dog.
26
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You're doubling down?
27
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Dog-eat-dog doesn't make sense.
28
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Dogs don't eat dogs. That never happens.
29
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Then what does "doggy-dog" mean?
30
00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,581
It means, like, it's a rough world.
31
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You can be brought down so low,
a dog would have you for a pet.
32
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:07,794
You'd be doggy to a dog.
33
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:10,130
Okay, uh, a question comes to mind.
34
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Is English your first language?
35
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- Ugh, okay, babe.
- No, I'm sorry.
36
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Listen, I love you.
It's okay to be wrong.
37
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Well, I'm not wrong.
38
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And I was just trying
to make you feel better.
39
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- You did.
- Ugh.
40
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I'm sorry about today.
41
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,159
You were right about doggy-dog.
42
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Makes a lot of sense.
43
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Thank you, sweetie.
44
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And I'm sorry about the fellowship.
45
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Thank you.
46
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:51,463
And you, you wouldn't eat
another dog, would you?
47
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,799
No, you wouldn't. You would never.
48
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But you would have your own
dog for a pet, wouldn't you?
49
00:02:57,553 --> 00:02:59,096
Yes, you would.
50
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,099
- Look at that. He agrees with me.
- Mmm.
51
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,403
Melissa, my word, you're disrobing.
52
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,697
No... Oh, no, just my shoes. It's late.
53
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What a breath of fresh air you are.
54
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:22,995
How do you think of these
things? You're such a free spirit.
55
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That's me.
56
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,417
Okay, well, here we go.
57
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:32,129
Piggies, we are giving
ourselves to nature.
58
00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:38,510
Shall we be tender monkeys?
59
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,890
Wow. You're a little different in love.
60
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:47,436
But you know what? I'm into
it because I'm not controlling.
61
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,689
Well, how about instead we go
over our top threes of the day?
62
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By which I mean the
day's three worst moments.
63
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,695
Seems you have turned
my world on its head.
64
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,780
Jorge, you don't have to do that.
65
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:02,075
It's just a dumb thing I used
to do with an old boyfriend,
66
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,702
and I shouldn't have mentioned it.
67
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:08,040
Okay, but my number one is when
Helen Pritt gave me the stink eye
68
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:10,000
for using the word "constipated."
69
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:14,254
Oh, how positively
savage. "Constipated."
70
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:17,925
What was your number one?
71
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:21,303
Oh, my number one of the day, uh...
72
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,680
well, it was me. I
was a horrible doctor.
73
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,475
Oh, no. Although...
74
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,228
Maybe you could prescribe
less radium water, but...
75
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,458
Well, I was distracted all day
76
00:04:30,459 --> 00:04:32,481
because my thoughts were
only of you, darling.
77
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How you crack me open and
let the light flood in.
78
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It's crazy, but I feel like
you've done the same for me.
79
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,869
Seems like forever since
I've been this happy.
80
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:54,962
♪ Suddenly you've got
my senses reeling ♪
81
00:04:55,963 --> 00:05:01,176
♪ Is it just the thrill ♪
♪ Of something new? ♪
82
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:06,807
♪ Suddenly these feelings ♪
♪ That I'm feeling ♪
83
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:12,312
♪ If they're real,
then what am I to do? ♪
84
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:19,570
♪ There's no sense ♪
♪ In trying to explain it ♪
85
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:26,326
♪ What and where and why ♪
♪ And when and how ♪
86
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:32,749
♪ All I know is suddenly I love you ♪
87
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♪ And suddenly that's all that matters ♪
88
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♪ Now ♪
89
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:56,982
Oh, I'm so sorry.
90
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,193
Oh, it's my fault, I'm sure.
91
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:03,697
Oh, looky everyone. The
countess has returned early.
92
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:04,781
How wonderful!
93
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,868
Melissa, this is, uh, the
Countess Gabriele Von Blerkom.
94
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:11,663
- She also invented stainless steel.
- Jorge, please.
95
00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:15,459
I dabble in aluminothermic
reduction processes and I got lucky.
96
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,963
Oh, my gosh. This is
just like Sound of Music.
97
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,257
Let me guess, you're
just back from the city
98
00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:24,384
and you're supposed to marry him, right?
99
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:29,014
Have we met? 'Cause I'd never
forget such a lovely creature.
100
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,266
What a beautiful couple you two make.
101
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:34,478
Blerky, Blerky. You
silly, silly, Blerky.
102
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,022
No, no. Do you think this
woman and I were dancing?
103
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,024
No, I was just simply
spinning her around
104
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,860
to dislodge the food that
she was, uh, choking...
105
00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:43,320
I'm Melissa, the new nurse.
106
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,656
Although you look much newer, Blerky,
107
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,534
you shine and sparkle so!
108
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,745
Jorge, I'm parched. Do
root out some champagne.
109
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,038
Yes, of course.
110
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,043
He's in love with you.
111
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:01,171
- Uh...
- Well, he'd hardly be a man if he weren't.
112
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:04,633
Oh... Stop it. No. I mean, I guess.
113
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:07,177
You are a goddess.
114
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,721
You're so smart and stunning.
115
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:12,391
Compared to you, I'm,
uh, a barefoot mess.
116
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,687
Ah! What fun. Oh.
117
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,147
Let's just go find your shoes, shall we?
118
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:23,485
The truth is, it's crazy,
but Jorge and I are in love.
119
00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:25,028
And I know that must hurt,
120
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:30,576
but I have this feeling,
a vision let's call it,
121
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,370
that you are going to
graciously step aside.
122
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:37,249
I can't explain how I know.
Let's call it a sixth sense.
123
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:40,502
Oh, there are so many
things one could call it.
124
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,588
Aw.
125
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,299
What sweaty little hands you have.
126
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:49,469
You and I must get to
know each other better.
127
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:52,848
Oh, I know. We'll go
for a drive. Tomorrow?
128
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,017
I would love that, Blerky.
129
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,351
Oh.
130
00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:59,021
You feel comfortable
enough to call me that.
131
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,359
It's raisin bread.
132
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:06,195
- Yeah.
- It's coleslaw.
133
00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:08,655
Sarsaparilla soda?
134
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:15,120
My sister must really like you.
She's never smiled like this before.
135
00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:17,748
Everyone in town
thinks she's a sad sack.
136
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,041
Carson.
137
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,252
Why don't you go count the
ants over by that pine tree?
138
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:23,587
- Absolutely.
- Mmm.
139
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,905
Well, whatever everyone in town thinks,
140
00:08:27,906 --> 00:08:29,426
it's better than what I think of them.
141
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:30,594
Smiling is overrated.
142
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:32,971
Twenty-six ants!
143
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:34,847
Keep counting, buddy!
144
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:40,312
So, how long are you
going to be in Schmigadoon?
145
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:41,480
You know, I ask because
146
00:08:41,481 --> 00:08:44,483
I've had difficulties
navigating the ins and outs
147
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,068
of handyman season before.
148
00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:48,362
Well, to be honest, I don't know.
149
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,405
I really need to get back to New York.
150
00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:53,033
Oh, but you can't. I
mean, it isn't safe.
151
00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:55,494
It's filled with gambling and crime
152
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,539
and poor souls who've
tried to make it big
153
00:08:58,622 --> 00:09:01,333
but can't go back home
because of foolish pride.
154
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,669
See, but that's what
I love about New York.
155
00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:07,631
There are so many people in
the city from all walks of life.
156
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,384
I don't know, maybe it's just because
you can't keep track of them all,
157
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,453
but... but everyone in New York's
158
00:09:12,454 --> 00:09:14,388
got the chance to reinvent themselves.
159
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:25,899
My sister kissed Dr. Skinner! My sister!
160
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,402
Carson, you know better than to spy.
161
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,153
That will be sentences when we get home.
162
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:34,408
Sentences? Then I'm never telling
you how many ants there are.
163
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,244
He thinks everyone's got
to know everyone's business.
164
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,372
It's all right. Maybe he'll
grow up to be a reporter.
165
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,582
I can see that headline.
166
00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:44,918
"Emma Kisses Dr. Skinner:
Schoolmarm Scandal."
167
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:49,631
No, it's okay. He knows he has a lisp.
168
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,885
I had one too. We don't
pretend that it doesn't exist.
169
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,597
You know what? You are
doing a great job with him.
170
00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:00,100
It can't be easy being
both a sister and a parent.
171
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,061
That's really none of your business.
172
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:05,647
What? I'm sorry. I meant
that as a compliment.
173
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,024
Well, thank you for that.
174
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,776
Oh, dear. It looks like rain.
175
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:12,070
- It's clear.
- Well, that's the pattern, isn't it?
176
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:14,406
No rain. Rain. No rain. Rain.
177
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:17,492
Oh, it's been so nice seeing you, Josh,
178
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,037
but Carson and I really
need to be on our way.
179
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,622
Wait. Emma, what's wrong?
180
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,123
Carson, it's time to go.
181
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,417
- But Dr. Skinner was...
- No, we need to go.
182
00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:30,339
Wha...
183
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,257
Emma.
184
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,524
- Good afternoon, Mrs. Layton.
- Is it?
185
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:50,317
Uh, pardon?
186
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,986
Oh, sir, I hear you. Yes, I hear you.
187
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,989
And normally I'd agree that,
yes, it is a good afternoon.
188
00:10:56,073 --> 00:11:00,244
But not this afternoon. Not
with the state of our town today.
189
00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:03,664
♪ We've got tribulation, my good sir ♪
190
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,916
♪ We've got tribulation in Schmigadoon ♪
191
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,837
♪ Look down there, do you see what I see? ♪
♪ Peanut shells in the street ♪
192
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,464
♪ Lying there like passed-out drunks ♪
♪ In the gutter ♪
193
00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:15,092
♪ Turning town square ♪
♪ Into the floor of a saloon ♪
194
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,302
♪ The home of loose woman ♪
♪ And hooch-happy sinners ♪
195
00:11:17,386 --> 00:11:19,429
♪ A petting pantry ♪
♪ In the middle of the street ♪
196
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,181
♪ Is that what our town's become? ♪
197
00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:23,100
♪ Is that the future ♪
♪ We want for our children? ♪
198
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,852
♪ I'm telling ya things have changed ♪
199
00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:26,979
♪ Ever since those ♪
♪ Two outsiders waltzed in ♪
200
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:30,023
♪ With their big city ways ♪
♪ And their newfangled ideas ♪
201
00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:32,150
♪ Promiscuity and depravity ♪
202
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,695
♪ Interlopers interloping ♪
203
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,780
♪ With hearts colder ♪
♪ Than the hinges of hell ♪
204
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,615
♪ First the two of them ♪
♪ Arrived unmarried ♪
205
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:41,076
♪ Brimming with lust ♪
♪ Wanting to share a bed ♪
206
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,287
♪ Then the brazen display ♪
♪ At the basket auction ♪
207
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,539
♪ Now the mayor's out ♪
♪ Proclaiming his perversions ♪
208
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,374
♪ At the root of it all ♪
♪ Are two strangers ♪
209
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,751
♪ Who've never cracked ♪
♪ A Bible in their life ♪
210
00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:53,130
♪ And that's gonna lead ♪
♪ To tribulation and strife ♪
211
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,549
♪ Now I've got nothing
against outsiders ♪
212
00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:58,177
♪ Provided they're ♪
♪ The right kind of people ♪
213
00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,888
♪ Kind of folk who look and talk ♪
♪ And act like us ♪
214
00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:03,015
♪ Like peas in a pod ♪
♪ And birds of a feather ♪
215
00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:05,350
♪ Not loudmouthed trash ♪
♪ With their tommyrot, flapdoodle ♪
216
00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:07,603
♪ Claptrap, fiddle-faddle ♪
♪ Jiggery-pokery ♪
217
00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,897
♪ Stirring up the cream ♪
♪ While we're waiting for it to settle ♪
218
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,982
♪ Like vermin in the root cellar ♪
♪ Flies in the buttermilk ♪
219
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,984
♪ And they're influencing ♪
♪ There, I said it ♪
220
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,028
♪ They're influencing your children ♪
221
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:18,322
♪ Like an earwig crawling ♪
♪ From their ears to their brains ♪
222
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,616
♪ And soon your young 'uns ♪
♪ Will be neglecting chores ♪
223
00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,910
♪ Milk going sour ♪
♪ Unstrained in the springhouse ♪
224
00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:25,037
♪ Back talk at dinner ♪
♪ No time for the good book ♪
225
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,456
♪ Ragtime blaring on the Victrola ♪
226
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,166
♪ And that's just the beginning, folks ♪
227
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,834
♪ Soon you won't even, no you won't ♪
228
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,003
♪ No, you won't even recognize ♪
♪ Your own town ♪
229
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,006
♪ I'm talking 'bout neon signs ♪
♪ Smoke-filled rooms ♪
230
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,217
♪ Billiard parlors and painted ladies ♪
231
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,302
♪ Wanton women having children ♪
♪ Out of wedlock ♪
232
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,429
♪ Rowdy men using filthy language ♪
233
00:12:42,513 --> 00:12:44,723
♪ The devil himself dancing ♪
♪ On your front porch ♪
234
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,808
♪ Stealing your babies ♪
♪ Out of their cribs at midnight ♪
235
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,977
♪ Cows and sheep having
amorous congress ♪
236
00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:51,230
♪ Children with the mark of the beast ♪
♪ On their foreheads ♪
237
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:55,275
♪ All thanks to these two out-of-towners ♪
♪ Dr. Skinner and Miss Gimble ♪
238
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:59,696
♪ Better hold on to your husband ♪
♪ Best keep an eye on your wife ♪
239
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:03,450
♪ There's gonna be ♪
♪ Some tribulation and strife ♪
240
00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:05,619
- ♪ Oh, we've got strife ♪
- ♪ Got strife ♪
241
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,455
- ♪ And tribulation ♪
- ♪ Tribulation ♪
242
00:13:08,539 --> 00:13:12,292
- ♪ And not to mention miscegenation ♪
- ♪ Ooh, that sounds bad ♪
243
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,419
- ♪ Let's pray the Lord ♪
- ♪ Pray the Lord ♪
244
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:16,672
- ♪ Will save us soon ♪
- ♪ Save us soon ♪
245
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:20,133
♪ 'Cause we've got strife ♪
♪ And tribulation in Schmigadoon! ♪
246
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,010
♪ Strife, strife,
strife, strife ♪
247
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:23,387
♪ Strife,
strife, strife, strife ♪
248
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:24,555
I can't hear y'all!
249
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,265
♪ Strife, strife, strife ♪
250
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:29,226
I love this town.
251
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,354
Y'all know my great-great-granddaddy
founded Schmigadoon
252
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:35,524
when he came upon this
beautiful tract of land and said,
253
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,317
"They'll never find us here."
254
00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:39,486
But it pains me. Oh! It pains me
255
00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:42,656
to see our town slipping away
right before our very eyes.
256
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,158
I tried to alert the mayor,
but his mind was elsewhere.
257
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:46,910
In his pants!
258
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:49,538
His poor wife is so ashamed she
locked herself inside her house.
259
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,039
And this time, on purpose.
260
00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:52,374
I'm sorry, Florence!
261
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:57,129
New leadership. That's
what Schmigadoon needs.
262
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:58,672
But who?
263
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:02,467
Who has the moral wherewithal,
the traditional how-to,
264
00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:06,513
the good, old-fashioned,
all-American je ne sais quoi
265
00:14:06,597 --> 00:14:08,390
to stand up to these two outsiders?
266
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,934
- Mildred Layton for mayor!
- I couldn't.
267
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,145
- Mildred Layton for mayor!
- I wouldn't.
268
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:16,857
Mildred Layton for mayor!
269
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,153
Okay, I'll do it.
270
00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:23,405
- ♪ It's time to vote ♪
- ♪ To vote ♪
271
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,741
- ♪ And vote for Layton ♪
- ♪ Vote for Layton ♪
272
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:29,036
♪ She is the only one who'll ♪
♪ Save our town from Satan ♪
273
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:30,120
♪ Save us now ♪
274
00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:32,080
- ♪ Let's hope that she ♪
- ♪ Hope that she ♪
275
00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:34,333
- ♪ Will save us soon ♪
- ♪ Save us soon ♪
276
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:37,169
♪ 'Cause we've got strife ♪
♪ And tribulation ♪
277
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:39,421
♪ Strife and tribulation ♪
278
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:41,632
♪ Grief and consternation ♪
279
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,800
♪ Grief and consternation ♪
280
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:49,515
♪ Strife and tribulation ♪
281
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:56,063
♪ In Schmigadoon ♪
282
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,649
Ow!
283
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,108
Sorry, Pete!
284
00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:05,322
I want you to write "I
will not spy" 500 times.
285
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,200
And do not get up until you
do. Do you understand me?
286
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:18,085
This is outrageous.
287
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:21,797
Hey, can I have your pencil, sport?
288
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:28,428
So, what do you think
happened at the picnic?
289
00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:30,722
Why did your sister get so mad?
290
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:32,850
She's a mystery.
291
00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:36,436
Here, you can write twice as fast.
292
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,106
Let's see.
293
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:45,237
- Huh?
- We're cheating!
294
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,447
Shh! No, I'm not
teaching you how to cheat.
295
00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:49,783
This is totally fair.
It's the Air Bud rule.
296
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:53,954
Oh, boy. Um... there's
movies here, right?
297
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,455
Moving pictures?
298
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,334
Oh, yes, sir. I saw
one at the nickelodeon.
299
00:15:59,418 --> 00:16:03,172
It was of a man on a bicycle.
It was like he was right there.
300
00:16:03,255 --> 00:16:06,091
Great. So Air Bud is about a dog
301
00:16:06,175 --> 00:16:09,261
who gets to play on a middle
school basketball team,
302
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,153
because there's nothing in the rule book
303
00:16:11,154 --> 00:16:13,140
that specifically says he can't.
304
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:18,228
So we're not cheating, we're
just exploiting a loophole.
305
00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:19,646
Gee, thanks!
306
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:23,984
Uh, Carson, I just...
307
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,819
I don't wanna leave
you with the impression
308
00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:27,821
that you shouldn't work hard on stuff.
309
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:32,367
Or that Air Bud is a good movie.
I mean, it's no Man on Bicycle.
310
00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:34,578
Um...
311
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,838
Then you just remove the
carbon from the molten steel
312
00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:48,258
until it reaches a composition that
can maintain the microstructure.
313
00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:50,511
Wow!
314
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:55,724
I once had to boil soup in my
stainless steel trash can, long story,
315
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,519
and it saved Thanksgiving, so thank you.
316
00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:01,939
And I just wanna say,
317
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:06,234
I know it is bonkers for
Jorge to choose me over you.
318
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:07,861
I mean, you could have anyone.
319
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:11,490
Alfred Hitchcock would turn down
a custard pie to torture you.
320
00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:12,574
Love is weird.
321
00:17:13,659 --> 00:17:16,203
Oh, it happens all the time, my dear.
322
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,704
Powerful men can never resist the help.
323
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,416
Well, thank you for understanding.
324
00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:24,627
You know, it makes me
feel so much better.
325
00:17:25,671 --> 00:17:28,006
It's actually been the story of my life.
326
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,635
Wait. You get a song?
327
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,096
That's surprising. You're
kind of a minor cha...
328
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,931
Wait. My backpack, why...
329
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:41,311
♪ Once I wooed a Swede named Bjorn ♪
♪ Had his maid bring tea each morn ♪
330
00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:44,147
♪ Turns out horny Bjorn ♪
♪ He loved servant porn ♪
331
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:47,025
♪ And poof went my plan ♪
332
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,695
♪ I am beautiful and clever ♪
333
00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:55,117
♪ And I always, always
never get my man ♪
334
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,703
Should you be driving and singing?
335
00:17:57,786 --> 00:18:03,083
♪ There was Tex who traded stocks ♪
♪ Hired a girl to darn his socks ♪
336
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:07,754
♪ And when Texy's socks led to sexy talks ♪
♪ I was out on my can ♪
337
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,508
♪ Give my all to each endeavor ♪
338
00:18:11,592 --> 00:18:16,722
♪ And I always, always
never get my man ♪
339
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:22,311
♪ Fell in love with Cole's 1930 Rolls ♪
♪ Dreamed that I would be his bride ♪
340
00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:25,314
♪ But when his chauffeur ♪
♪ Turned out to be a her ♪
341
00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:27,316
♪ They both took me for a ride ♪
342
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:31,653
How is it still driving?
343
00:18:33,197 --> 00:18:35,782
♪ Seems I'll never end this curse ♪
344
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:38,660
♪ 'Cause now my doctor has this nurse ♪
345
00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:41,330
♪ And what's worse the nurse ♪
♪ Wants me to disperse ♪
346
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:44,082
♪ Like dust from a fan ♪
347
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,752
♪ So I hope you've had your fun ♪
348
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:49,963
♪ 'Cause the fact is,
girl, you're done ♪
349
00:18:50,047 --> 00:18:54,551
♪ 'Cause this time, hon ♪
♪ Oh, this time, hon ♪
350
00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:58,430
♪ Yeah, this time, hon I am gonna ♪
351
00:18:58,514 --> 00:19:04,269
♪ Gonna get my man ♪
352
00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:08,732
Oh.
353
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,903
What are you doing?
354
00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:14,738
Get out.
355
00:19:15,739 --> 00:19:18,075
Is that stainless steel?
356
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:23,372
Oh, don't sweet-talk me.
I want Jorge. I love him.
357
00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:26,792
And I'm tired of being told how
well-mannered I am for stepping aside.
358
00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:28,669
Now get out of the car!
359
00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:33,173
And don't even think about coming back.
360
00:19:34,091 --> 00:19:36,510
You can't do this. I'm
not the bad guy here.
361
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:40,097
You walked into my engagement
and destroyed my future.
362
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,723
That's called being the bad guy.
363
00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:46,520
Yeah, well, it's never explicitly
stated, but I think you're a Nazi.
364
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,690
Of course I'm a Nazi.
365
00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,316
Can I at least have my backpa...
366
00:20:04,705 --> 00:20:06,874
You wanna tell me what's going on?
367
00:20:07,499 --> 00:20:12,462
What is going on is I
have been lying to you.
368
00:20:13,422 --> 00:20:17,968
To everyone. But especially to Carson.
369
00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:22,806
I'm not his sister.
370
00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:25,851
I'm his mother.
371
00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,145
Oh, Emma.
372
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,191
Look, it wasn't meant to happen.
373
00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:35,611
I was so young, and
my parents evicted me,
374
00:20:35,694 --> 00:20:38,363
and I wound up in a maternity
ward for wayward girls,
375
00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:40,532
although we were anything but.
376
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,036
And when Carson was born,
377
00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:47,706
I told everyone, including
him, that he was my brother.
378
00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:51,793
I just couldn't let Mildred
Layton and her biddy brigade
379
00:20:51,877 --> 00:20:54,796
say what they would say about
him if they knew the truth.
380
00:20:56,757 --> 00:20:58,592
But, of course, now you know.
381
00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:04,097
So I understand if this means
it's over between us, Josh.
382
00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:07,893
It doesn't change how I
feel about you, Emma. At all.
383
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:17,444
Carson.
384
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:21,657
I thought I told you to stay in
your seat until you were done.
385
00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:23,992
- You can't possi...
- You lied to me. You're a liar!
386
00:21:24,618 --> 00:21:25,744
No, Carson.
387
00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:46,807
You lost my heart.
388
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,017
I gave you my heart, and you lost it.
389
00:21:49,101 --> 00:21:50,683
Are you sure I didn't
give it back to you?
390
00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,229
Check your backpack. 'Cause I'm...
391
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:54,523
Then why do I have your heart?
392
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:00,904
Maybe I am the bad guy.
393
00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:09,997
Oh, no, is this a dream ballet?
394
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,374
No, no, we're not having
a dream ballet. Okay?
395
00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:14,960
They're annoying and stupid.
They slow everything down.
396
00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:16,837
Nobody likes a dream ballet. Nobody.
397
00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:28,015
I just... I don't have time for
one. I have to get back to Schmiga...
398
00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:33,437
Actually, no, I don't have to get back
399
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,106
because there's nothing for me there.
400
00:22:38,108 --> 00:22:40,235
There's no reason for me
to be anywhere, really,
401
00:22:40,319 --> 00:22:42,237
so might as well be nowhere.
402
00:22:48,285 --> 00:22:52,539
Carson! Carson! Carson!
403
00:22:53,207 --> 00:22:55,125
Well, well, well.
404
00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:57,669
I've walked these woods all my life.
405
00:22:57,753 --> 00:23:00,672
This is the first time I
came across a six-foot snake.
406
00:23:00,756 --> 00:23:03,091
6'1", actually. And my BMI is 19...
407
00:23:03,175 --> 00:23:07,221
Oh!
408
00:23:07,304 --> 00:23:08,889
That's for stealing my gal.
409
00:23:09,765 --> 00:23:13,393
She isn't even with me
anymore, she's with Doc Lopez.
410
00:23:31,662 --> 00:23:34,581
♪ I'm talking 'bout neon signs ♪
♪ Smoke-filled rooms ♪
411
00:23:34,665 --> 00:23:36,792
♪ Billiard parlors and painted ladies ♪
412
00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:38,877
♪ Wanton women having children ♪
♪ Out of wedlock ♪
413
00:23:38,961 --> 00:23:41,004
♪ Rowdy men using filthy language ♪
414
00:23:41,088 --> 00:23:43,298
♪ The devil himself dancing ♪
♪ On your front porch ♪
415
00:23:43,382 --> 00:23:45,384
♪ Stealing your babies ♪
♪ From their cribs at midnight ♪
416
00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:47,553
♪ Cows and sheep having
amorous congress ♪
417
00:23:47,636 --> 00:23:49,805
♪ Children with the mark of the beast ♪
♪ On their foreheads ♪
418
00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:53,851
♪ All thanks to these two out-of-towners ♪
♪ Dr. Skinner and Miss Gimble ♪
419
00:23:53,934 --> 00:23:58,230
♪ Better hold on to your husband ♪
♪ Best keep an eye on your wife ♪
420
00:23:58,313 --> 00:24:01,984
♪ There's gonna be ♪
♪ Some tribulation and strife ♪
421
00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:04,152
- ♪ Oh, we've got strife ♪
- ♪ Got strife ♪
422
00:24:04,236 --> 00:24:06,989
- ♪ And tribulation ♪
- ♪ Tribulation ♪
423
00:24:07,072 --> 00:24:10,826
- ♪ And not to mention miscegenation ♪
- ♪ Ooh, that sounds bad ♪
424
00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:12,953
- ♪ Let's pray the Lord ♪
- ♪ Pray the Lord ♪
425
00:24:13,036 --> 00:24:15,205
- ♪ Will save us soon ♪
- ♪ Save us soon ♪
426
00:24:15,289 --> 00:24:18,667
♪ 'Cause we've got strife ♪
♪ And tribulation in Schmigadoon! ♪
427
00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:21,879
- ♪ It's time to vote ♪
- ♪ To vote ♪
428
00:24:21,962 --> 00:24:24,214
- ♪ And vote for Layton ♪
- ♪ Vote for Layton ♪
429
00:24:24,298 --> 00:24:27,509
♪ She is the only one who'll ♪
♪ Save our town from Satan ♪
430
00:24:27,593 --> 00:24:28,594
♪ Save us now ♪
431
00:24:28,677 --> 00:24:30,554
- ♪ Let's hope that she ♪
- ♪ Hope that she ♪
432
00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:32,806
- ♪ Will save us soon ♪
- ♪ Save us soon ♪
433
00:24:32,890 --> 00:24:35,642
♪ 'Cause we've got strife ♪
♪ And tribulation ♪
434
00:24:35,726 --> 00:24:37,895
♪ Strife and tribulation ♪
435
00:24:37,978 --> 00:24:40,105
♪ Grief and consternation ♪
436
00:24:40,189 --> 00:24:42,274
♪ Grief and consternation ♪
437
00:24:42,357 --> 00:24:47,988
♪ Strife and tribulation ♪
438
00:24:48,071 --> 00:24:54,620
♪ In Schmigadoon ♪
439
00:24:54,621 --> 00:24:59,621
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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