Original subtitles

Tell Pandit ji I'll be there in 15 minutes.

I'm telling you, be on time from tomorrow onwards.

If your job stands in the way, walk away from it.

Otherwise, step down from the lead role.

Acting? Your smart fix!

What do you say to it? "Sorry."

-How was the practice? -It was good.

If I help close your deal, you will sell me your car.

The deal's done! I'm happy!

There's a problem, man.

Your mama came to know

you had a hand in the deal we sealed yesterday.

Listen, you pest.

Whoever has taken my share of the money…

I've left them them so broken that they can't even have children.

So whenever this dream demon attacks you,

say this to him out loud…

But to decide whether you actually have the talent or not,

we'll need to see your performance.

After considering everything, I've reached the decision that

the lead role will be played by Samarth.

Congratulations. You can go for practice now. Every day.

My brother isn't coming back.

And mama, everything that has ever humiliated me and my family…

I will burn it to the ground.

And one day, I'll burn you too.

There's a big-shot dealer in Gurugram. His name is Kukreja.

He's my mama.

Any deal we poach from mama

must not be recorded under my name or my company.

This is the third deal that's collapsed right before the advance could arrive.

Name of the company?

Property Lords.

There's a leak in my office, and the information is getting to you.

Tell me his name.

Dad…

mama is coming over.

Isn't this what every thief ends up facing?

Hey!

Make his father sit there!

Don't do it, mama.

Motherfucker mama, don't do it!

Game over.

Sir, I've decided on my dream.

I want to grow up to be a hero.

I'll take my mother to the theater to watch my movie.

She has, perhaps, four to six months more.

Pandit ji, if my mother doesn't see me perform on stage at least once,

all of this will mean nothing to me.

Look, Prashant, you want to go to Mumbai, but I don't.

I'm just thinking practically.

My play is in ten days.

It's my theater performance. You have to be there.

I'm going to do something that will make you proud.

Mama, in exchange for 20 crores…

three slaps.

And every slap of mine sends pain on a full tour from your ear…

straight to your ass.

Mom…

Come outside. I want to show you something.

That's it…

Hold God in your heart And those who truly care

Remember why He planted dreams Within you there

That's it

I've gone too far

One glance…

And foes tremble where they are

Leave the tears, leave the fright

Stop going to someone else

Raise your voice…

It's your dreams versus…

The world!

Hello, Prashant.

Yes, Dad.

Please call your mom.

She just woke up and started getting ready.

She says, "I'm going to watch Prashant's play."

Is she well enough to step outside?

You already know about that.

But she's your mom.

She can act like she's perfectly fine.

Please call her and make her understand.

You know she won't understand, Dad.

Let her come.

Please don't tell her I called.

She intends to surprise you.

So just play along and act surprised when you see her.

Sure.

Prashant ji…

I hope you aren't nervous.

Will everything go well?

Pandit ji.

Two dreams will come true today.

My mom's dream…

is to see me perform on stage.

And my mom will be able to watch

people applaud and cheer for my performance.

This is my dream.

Mom is coming here, Pandit ji.

It won't just be good.

It will be the best performance of my life today.

Hey, kid!

Where is Manjit Dagar's house?

What do you want from him?

I had an argument with him.

I slapped him.

I want to apologize to him.

Hey!

What are you doing here?

Manjit!

Jimmy's the name! Big-time swagger, big-time fame!

Six-foot-five bodyguard smacked you, left your cheek in flames.

Growing that beard, huh? Hiding your face in shame?

So, Dagar…

what's up?

I see.

You come to my village and act smart with me?

Do you want to make five lakh rupees in five minutes?

I'm listening.

I'm planning to return Kukreja's money.

But my mama is an asshole.

After he gets his money back, guess what he's planning?

Drop the answer, Dagar, and the money is yours.

Come inside.

Dad!

Dad?

Dad, he said that he slapped Manjit Dagar.

Didn't you beat the hell out of him?

I didn't know they were the Dagar juniors.

I spared him that day, Monty.

That's why I called him today.

He will get a slap today.

Do you want to see?

What if I say no?

Will you leave the reward?

How can he say no now?

-Dad, if you don't beat him, we will. -He…

Did you hear them?

I won't let the kids be disappointed.

Alright.

Slap me.

But if I stand still and let you slap me,

would that be fun?

Let's settle this like men.

If you smile like this, I'll take you to the play every day.

-Is it tight? -No.

-Done. -Thanks, bro.

Bro, Mom is coming.

Wow, that's so amazing!

Listen, Chouhan.

Mom thinks I have no idea she's coming.

She wants to surprise me.

So I can't go to the gate to receive her.

So, could you go and bring her backstage before the play?

Done.

-Did you block a seat? -No.

Come on, dude! Alright, I'll do it.

You get ready.

How much longer until we arrive?

Another 15 minutes, ma'am.

You should take a nap.

You're gonna be sitting there for a while.

Come.

Rest your head on my shoulder and sleep.

Sleep.

You didn't tell Prashant, right?

No, no.

I've been coordinating with Chouhan.

Okay.

Otherwise, he'll keep waiting for us.

Please sleep.

You slapped my father and knocked him unconscious.

You were very happy. Remember?

So now, slap me…

and knock me unconscious.

Pull it off, and you win.

Then you don't have to tell me mama's plan,

and you can keep the five lakhs too.

Sure. Done.

But, Dagar…

if I don't lose consciousness…

I'm hitting you right back.

And if you lose consciousness,

that's my win.

And then you'll tell me mama's plan,

and you'll also have to forget

about the cash, Dagar.

With just one slap, knock the crap out of him!

Crap?

Just knock this cigarette out of my mouth, Monty's dad.

Oh, is it?

When a Jaat man hits someone in a rage,

their cheek will be on fire and their balls will clench!

Smell it.

What were you doing, huh?

Your kids are ill-mannered, Dagar.

He was sniffing to check if I'd crapped my pants.

You've got strong hands, Dagar.

I got damn dizzy.

But your technique's off, man!

You're just moving your hands.

First, twist the leg. Like this.

Then the knee.

And when the hands strike with momentum…

the cerebrospinal fluid in your brain

will shake.

And your brain will signal your body to shut down.

I see.

And don't give the other person time to prepare before you hit him.

Yeah? Maybe just ask him something.

So his mind focuses on finding an answer

rather than bracing for the slap.

I'm not joking.

And then, when the slap lands…

Tell me, what comes next?

-What? -Think about it.

"And then, when the slap lands…"

Complete this sentence.

If you complete it correctly,

along with the five lakhs,

you'll get an additional one lakh.

Come on, think about it.

And then,

when the slap lands…

From ear to rear,

it's just pain, my dear!

-Dad! Dad! -Manjit! Manjit!

-Dad, wake up! -Dad!

-Manjit! -Don't humiliate us.

-Dad! -Dad!

How dare you hit Dagar bhai!

-Get him! -Beat him!

How dare you!

-Yes, bro? -Bro, they are just two minutes away.

Yeah, I'm at the gate. I'll bring them in.

Okay.

Mom!

Rekha.

Rekha, wake up. We're almost there.

Rekha?

Rekha?

Rekha…

-Thrash him! -Manjit bhai, just say the word.

We'll beat the shit out of this asshole.

-Beat him! -Let's beat him!

-Beat him! -Thrash the scoundrel!

Let him go.

Your mama says,

your brother is already dead.

And your dad can't have more kids.

When you're gone, your bloodline dies with you.

After you return his money…

he will get you killed within a couple of days.

Dagar, hell's got a spot…

for both you and mama.

A killer who kills someone in front of their kids goes to hell.

I've also got a place reserved in hell today.

So if mama gets me killed,

I'll wait for him in hell.

You join my team there, Dagar.

In the end, I'll be the one who wins.

Always.

Tell you what.

The first time your dad hit me…

I lost a little in my pants.

I'd never been hit like that before.

Did you really crap yourself?

Want to smell it?

He actually crapped himself!

Oh, man!

HERO'S MOTHER HERO'S FATHER

They got late.

They're in their seats. Let's go.

Come on.

Where are they seated?

They are in the audience. You focus here.

Please tell me.

Will you please let me concentrate on the play?

Mom didn't even come backstage.

Did they even come in?

Look, it's not a problem even if you tell me.

I was prepared,

knowing that if Mom felt unwell, she could miss the play.

Tell me.

Otherwise, I won't be able to focus here.

She didn't come inside.

Is she unwell?

Are they still outside, or have they gone home?

Major sahab!

I can't lie to you.

Just give the best performance of your life.

Aunty must be watching it.

Yes, soldier.

Major sahab. we have already done the recon.

There is no way to go back.

Based on what we observed, an attack seems likely tomorrow morning.

I'll have Ravi pass the word to the other troops.

Soldier Ravi.

Soldier Ravi!

Yes, sahab.

Soldier Ravi…

how much time

will it take you to reach the other troops?

Sahab…

it usually takes

two hours to reach there.

But…

I've been a hockey player, sahab.

I…

Turn off the lights.

HERO'S MOTHER

When a dream shatters, what does it sound like?

The screams, the tears…

that was the sound of a dream breaking.

Attention, passengers.

Train number 12952,

traveling from Delhi to Mumbai,

is arriving on platform number two.

Hey, buddy!

Work sincerely, and also take care of your health.

Don't snack on random things at odd hours.

Uncle.

He'll find a girl for himself in Bombay who will take care of him.

That sounds good.

Anything else?

Yeah, also…

Crush the Kapoors and Khans' careers.

Don't return to Delhi without doing it.

Why?

If no one makes me a hero in Mumbai, you can do it by becoming the producer.

Pretty soon, you will be stacking Escobar-style cash.

Uncle, he turned me into an honest man…

and still expects Escobar-level results!

But I'll definitely produce

a film for you.

A promise from an elder brother

to his younger brother.

Alright then, good boy, Prince.

You'll meet a lot of people like Shishir in Bombay.

If the situation calls for it, be a little ruthless.

Hell, be an asshole.

Uncle, I have to take this call. I'll be back in a minute.

How are you, mama?

So, you're bringing my money today, right?

You're on the hook for today.

Mama, I was about to call you.

I needed some advice.

Thing is, I have invested

your money, mama.

I started a construction business with your name and mine.

Two sites. Four floors per site.

I wanted to ask you…

what should we call the firm?

What about "MB Builders"?

Mama-Bhanja Builders.

Now you're humiliating me over more than 20 crores.

What about "M square B square Builders"?

Motherfucker Mama-Bastard Bhanja Builders?

Is this okay?

Listen.

Just bring the money today.

Or else…

I'll come

once again

to your father.

No, no, no.

"M square" is not good enough.

It has to be an M cube.

Miserable Motherfucker Mama.

Because you're a miserable motherfucker.

You were planning to get me killed right after you got your money.

But you see, I'm a sly bastard.

So, for now, have your men hold off.

Because if I die, you can forget your 20 crore rupees.

I'll also give you 50% of the profit from selling the builder floor.

Because we are partners now.

And now, let's finalize the firm's name.

Miserable Motherfucker Mama

Brutal Bastard Nephew Builders.

M cube B cube Builders.

When a dream shatters,

it breaks you too.

And that's when another dream appears,

hand outstretched beside you.

It says…

"I won't break your heart."

"Come with me."

And you walk along with that dream.

Not because your heart is not going to break this time,

but because you know

at the end of the journey,

when everyone will look into each other's hearts,

the one who gets jealous the most inside

is the one with the most broken heart.

And that same crazy soul will seem the calmest.

Hello. Prashant.

Oh, yes. Come in.

I'm Ashvin, your roommate.

Come.

Hello, fresh fish!

Welcome to the heartbreak city.

Fuck.

The depth of a broken heart

reveals how big the dreams once were.

How many I chased,

how hard I fought,

how much I lived.

Just breathing isn't living.

Even a body on a ventilator breathes.

In the end, only the scars on the heart…

will prove he was ever alive.

Yes, sir.

Hello!

Actors are not allowed inside.

Sit in the waiting area outside.

Have all the actors sit outside. Your office will be empty.

No doubt, bitch.

Wherever I look,

folks posing as casting assistants are ravenous for roles like wolves.

Bhai, try to make some time today.

I need to practice for an audition.

Which audition?

The audition I gave for the film last week.

I'm shortlisted in the final two.

Tomorrow is the final round.

Which film?

The Golden Fortune Entertainment Films audition?

Those who want a newcomer as their hero?

Yes.

You are shortlisted in the final two participants.

That means you have a 50% chance of making your debut.

That dream people chase in Mumbai after struggling for many years…

you have got a 50% shot at it.

You asshole!

You came to the office today!

Go home and prepare, you dumbass!

Have a facial done.

The life insurance actor is not locked yet.

So, there are auditions today.

I hope you will go tomorrow for your audition.

Or are you going to record other people tomorrow as well?

Prashant bhai.

Here comes a wolf.

I was just talking to a client about you.

There is an advertisement brief.

And…

you're a perfect fit. Do you want to audition for it?

Thank you, dude. But you already know it.

Come on, man! Quit being so headstrong.

People join the casting company,

so that it helps them with their auditions.

And you are saying that you won't audition in your casting company.

Tell me one thing.

That life insurance advertisement…

Are you doing it or someone else is? You are doing it, right?

Then take my audition, please. Come on.

You don't suit the part.

Let me audition, and leave it to the director to decide if I fit.

The director will reject it too.

You look young.

He wants a mature look.

You are really stubborn.

Others just take auditions.

Because other people also have to audition

when you get the brief.

So, what's the problem?

Everyone is helping each other. Idiot.

Conflict of interest, personal interest vs duty.

This is the problem.

I didn't get him. What conflict?

If I or my friend gets selected in this advertisement,

this is my personal interest.

But finding the best actor for this part is my duty

as the casting assistant.

Who is stopping you from auditioning others?

All I am saying is let me audition too, and send it ahead.

It's that simple.

This fraud will not stop here.

What else do you guys do? Shall I mention it?

Sorry, dude.

I'm feeling something inside

after listening to you guys. Sorry.

Sorry.

Hey!

What is it?

I just passed the gas.

It's my duty.

I have a stomach. I have to take care of it.

Is this a conflict too?

Assholes.

Throw it away.

Jimmy, the client doesn't even want the top floor.

You're forcing it on them.

You are also forcing them

to buy the top floor at higher rates than the other floors.

Uncle, you get a terrace with the top floor.

The rate is bound to be high.

Did the client ask for a terrace?

The other floors are still vacant.

We should sell the other floors from there.

The client has not asked for a terrace.

But he needs one.

The client has not asked for a terrace, but he needs one?

How do you know that?

Because I have met the client.

Here's the thing, Uncle.

Even the client doesn't know that he needs a terrace.

He just does.

Selling the floor of the other house is more difficult.

Because the client's father, who is a heart patient,

and the wife, who hopes to one day have a child,

need the floor in this house only.

-Are you ready, paaji? -Wait a minute. Don't start yet.

Jimmy, tell me, did the client's father and wife tell you

that they need the floor in this house only?

Uncle, just like the husband does not know he needs a terrace,

the wife and the father also don't know they need the floor in this house only.

But I'll make them feel the need before

they reach the terrace.

-Jimmy, you're talking through your hat. -No, Uncle.

It's arrogance.

Hit it!

It's a happy birthday for Jimmy's dad!

Wishing Mehta ji the best! It's a happy birthday!

Eat good, live good, celebrate every day!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Oh, happiness! Hello, hi, how are you?

Let's hit it, boys!

Happy birthday to you!

He's already bringing the cake. Send it back.

Jimmy.

How's the taste?

I told them to prepare it fresh an hour ago.

I told them that if the cream smelled off,

I'd send the cake back.

Please pass me the small plate, dear.

Let me give a small piece of cake for the kid.

He's been looking at the cake for a long time.

No, we don't give him anything sweet.

I mean, anything sweet with cream.

-Mom, I want… -Ayan, go wash your face.

Take him along.

Let me give it to you then.

No, we also don't prefer cream.

Thank you so much.

Tell uncle, the cake is so big

that when he cuts it, it'll just stick to the knife.

Is it small in size?

I thought of ordering a one-kilo cake.

Kapoor sahab, this is more than enough.

Uncle…

it's not about the size.

We just didn't sing the birthday song in English.

Otherwise, the kid would eat the creamy cake,

and the guy would

lick the cake from the knife and go, "So tasty!"

-Cheers! -Cheers!

So, Mehta sahab…

you have the house warming tomorrow.

You will be a classy man among rich people now!

Jimmy, this is not fair.

You are separating me from my dear friend.

Kapoor sahab, I am not going anywhere.

We'll have the house warming tomorrow.

Then, Jimmy will live there along with his future wife and kids.

Dad…

how many times do we need to revisit this topic?

What's the problem, Jimmy?

You're free to live your way, just as I'm free to live mine.

So, you wish to…

live in that old house next to the drain?

Yes.

I don't care about it.

Yes, Dad.

You don't care about it.

Because at the age where kids

plan to propose their girlfriends in the park,

I was planning to buy a new house for my dad and Prince in mama's posh colony.

You don't care whether the house is in a cramped old lane or a posh neighborhood.

But it's my dream.

Tell me something.

Did you return your mama's money?

Every time I ask, you have no answer.

And you expect me to live in the house right in front of his place?

Just to be humiliated every single day?

Alright, leave it, guys.

Yes, let's repeat the drinks.

Hey, buddy! Excuse me!

Repeat. Large.

For everyone.

Happy hour's going on now, right?

Alright.

Let's hit it.

Many uncles are coming here due to happy hour these days.

They end up more humiliated than the money they save on drinks.

Yeah, man.

The happy hour brings a lot of cheap uncle crowd.

Yeah.

Kapoor sahab,

let's not order more drinks.

The boys have their meeting as well.

-Let's go. -Oh, Mehta Uncle!

Meetings will keep happening.

The sales god won't get wasted over just two drinks.

No.

It's enough.

Ask for the bill.

Let's go.

Come, Kapoor sahab.

Happy birthday, Mehta ji.

See you.

I asked you to call a cab.

This is also comfortable. What does it matter?

Dad…

you do as you want today.

It's your birthday.

Starting tomorrow, things will happen the way I want.

Post mahurat, you'll move into the new house.

Because a week from now, there will be a big celebration there.

Drums shall be played again, people shall dance again,

and mama will watch all of this from his house across the street.

He will be unhappy.

Because, Dad, the MP ticket he's been waiting for,

will be given to the other candidate.

My candidate would have gotten it.

And all of this will happen,

not because it matters to you, but it matters to me.

Happy birthday, Mehta ji.

So…

your candidate will be given the MP ticket?

Keep your feet on the ground, Jimmy.

See you, Uncle.

-Shall we leave? -Yes, let's go.

What happened, Jimmy?

Uncle, I'm thinking…

can you both sell the house to the client?

What?

Sell the house?!

You were being arrogant about it, so you do it!

What happened?

Something urgent has come up.

Right now, nothing is more important for you than selling this house.

You only have a week left,

to arrange the money for the MP ticket.

If you lose this client, you'll be out five crore too!

I won't lose anything, Uncle.

On your way home, think of a good proverb about a house's terrace.

Can be a fake one, but make sure it rhymes.

I'll be available on the phone, though.

Bhaiya, selling the top-floor house along with the roof is hard enough.

You plan to do it over the phone?

Just stop by a salon on your way home and get your hair done.

Straight and silky.

Hey, bro!

Shall we?

I asked you to get a clean shave.

I've a few auditions lined up. I cannot change my look.

What auditions?

You'll won't selected in this look.

I won't even take the audition.

No worries.

Well, screw going through all that hassle for a low-scale, crappy-ass role.

Go ahead

and pick some pretty little sissy model from Versova

who doesn't have any facial hair.

Taking a cigarette.

Hey, man.

You've a great chance of getting selected.

You give good auditions.

Just go and shave.

I'm requesting you.

That's like it.

This tone is good.

The audition went well, so the chances of getting selected are high.

Good audition doesn't guarantee a role.

Good luck guarantees it.

Artists get lucky by doing hard work.

Brother, destiny was good,

but talent was less.

I yawned, and a kachori fell right into my mouth.

Talent is amazing…

but destiny is dull.

I yawned,

and black crow dropped… you know what!

Oh, that reminds me,

wow is the casting director Tarun Pandey?

You know Tarun?

But don't ask Tarun Pandey if he knows Manish.

Got it?

I'll see you at home.

Prashant!

Sir is calling you.

Take your laptop along.

Okay.

Excuse me! Excuse me!

The previous cake was small, so Dad sent this one.

That's so sweet!

But it was really not needed.

Slice the cake and serve it to everyone.

And I saw that you were having wine.

So, this is also from Dad.

That's the most expensive bottle they have.

And by the way,

it's not included in the happy-hour menu.

Say our thanks to you Dad, bro.

Bro, the client is here.

Who all have come?

-Greetings. -Husband, wife, and father-in-law.

Uncle, shake the client's hand.

Look at his head once.

Shall we?

Come.

Jimmy ji isn't here?

-If they ask about me, just say… -His aunt is suffered a heart attack.

Took him 30 minutes to reach the hospital.

She died.

Timely medical treatment is important.

Or else, a heart patient doesn't survive.

Okay, Ayaan, now go and play outside with didi.

Payal, take him.

Uncle, take rooftop keys from the first floor.

Keys must be on second floor with Mr. Guglani, right?

This time it's on the first floor. And…

-Jatin… -Uncle.

Lift?

You're turning me into Tiger Shroff, making me run up stairs!

You carry on, I'll take the stairs.

You know, my step count doesn't get completed.

He will tell my wife.

It's on the first floor.

-Shall we? -Let's go.

Is that some special drink too?

This one? Yeah!

Cheapest.

Royal Brown, the one I was drinking with Dad.

It may be the cheapest, bro, but it's a fucking man's drink.

If a rich man drinks cheap liquor, he's called manly.

If a poor man drinks cheap alcohol, everyone's ass starts hurting.

Language, please! There's a kid around.

He'll hear it.

He also just said, "Fucking…"

-Bro, that's… -English?

That's English.

I understand.

Guys! Let's toast!

Come on!

Hold on! We'll toast soon,

but this cake has to be finished first.

Kapoor Uncle bought it with much love.

So, let's finish this first.

Jatin, keep showing off your hair in front of the husband.

-Namaste, Vikas ji. -Namaste!

You would be having keys to the rooftop.

Rooftop keys? With me?

No, Uncle, the keys are with Guglani ji on the upper floor.

-Jimmy said you have the keys. -No, Uncle

I don't have the keys. There must be some confusion.

I'll call Jimmy bhaiya and ask him.

Till the time pick up the phone, Uncle, introduce them to each other.

By the way, this is Vikas Verma. He's a CA.

Namaste.

I think Jimmy was saying you are also a CA.

No.

I'm not a CA.

But I head the finance department of my company.

Uncle, the keys are with Guglani Uncle.

Sorry. Really sorry.

Sorry about the confusion.

-That's alright. -Keys are on the upper floor.

Shall we go?

Let's go.

Jimmy, what the hell are you up to?

What, Uncle?

Real fun is when you lick the cream off of a knife.

Lick!

What a terrible waste it is to live life constantly under tension.

Tick! Tick! Countdown to the end.

Buddy, always start…

This is his best so far.

He's really good, isn't he?

Unfortunately, his audition will not go.

Is there any issue, Tarun?

Ego issue!

He thinks he's Al Pacino.

If he misbehaves during shooting, will you take responsibility with the client?

Kidding! Show me next.

Amit!

What budget has he quoted?

Seventy-five.

Yes.

See this audition.

You have to audition better than this.

Can you do it?

Everyone is alive,

but living is an art.

Of course! I can do better than this.

Look, Prashant.

His audition is good,

but his face is not worth 75 thousand.

Do one thing.

Don't send his audition to the client either.

Record Amit's and quote 20 thousand.

-Works? -Oh, yeah!

Prashant…

how long have you been with us?

Three to four months, at least.

-Yes. -Well, don't worry.

Now, I'm teaching you a few tricks. So learn them.

Whatever briefs come to our agency,

anyone within the agency, interested, will give an audition.

Sitting here, you have no say in whether someone's fit or not.

And Prashant, tell me something.

Why don't you give auditions here?

He believes it would be a conflict of interest, sir.

-It's true. -Man, you can feel whatever,

but if you don't give an audition, everyone else will obviously feel

you are up to no good.

I've never judged anyone, Tarun.

Hey, just this morning you called all of us frauds.

Amit, you go and prepare for your audition.

Yes.

So, Prashant…

you know, these method actors…

who come here for auditions?

These people, after audition,

go to Juhu Beach,

to enjoy the sunset…

and blow their parents' hard-earned money on smoking doobies!

And you know what else they do?

They judge.

They make fun

of the actors who work in casting.

What the fuck!

You people,

who along with their passion for acting,

work here for more than 12 hours a day.

So if you get priority in every audition,

that is not a fraud.

It is fair.

You know what fraud is?

Tomorrow, you have to go to actor's vault

to audition for the final-two screen test.

The selection has already happened there.

The director wants to cast his own boy.

So, the casting guys,

for the last seven days,

have been recording his audition.

They will take 70 takes in seven days,

and will send his best two takes to the producer.

"Sir! What a brilliant fucking actor!"

And tomorrow, they'll make you do

a few takes in 30 minutes.

And will send two of your shittiest takes to the director.

This is called a fraud.

Lick it.

It's actually fucking tasty.

Wow!

Uncle, size is not an issue.

We just didn't sing the birthday song in English.

Otherwise, the kid would eat the creamy cake,

and the guy would

lick the cake from the knife and go, "So tasty!"

Guys! Let's toast, come on!

No!

We have to finish the bigger cake as well.

Bro!

Who's going to finish the big cake?

-We have eaten enough cake today. -Actually!

Enough?

Then this first cake was enough.

Why did you keep calling it small?

Now that we've ordered a bigger cake,

-you must eat it. -What do you mean by "you must'?

-We're done. Now we'll fucking drink. -Exactly.

Bhabhi?

"Now we'll fucking drink."

He is cussing with the child around!

I'm telling you, I will kick his ass.

I think we should leave.

I think he should leave.

I want to leave.

But only after you finish the cake.

Your father used his savings for cake and wine, and that makes you feel heroic?

Get out, or I'll beat the hell out of you.

Uncle…

when you get the keys to the rooftop,

ask Doctor sahab about the kid's result.

Selection has come through!

Why wouldn't it? Jimmy told us well in advance

that even the jet sprays in this house

are designed according to vaastu.

So sorry, madam.

Look, on a serious note,

he said whatever's stuck would work out in the end.

That's exactly what happened!

My kid was giving exams for two years.

It's been month and half since we moved in,

and he cleared his exam.

Isn't that a miracle?

Congratulations!

Thank you!

Guglani sahab himself is a doctor,

now his son is also doing MBBS.

-What's Guglani sahab's medical specialty? -Heart attack.

-Sorry. Jatin, what is it called? -Cardiologist, Uncle.

Yes.

Come, Uncle. Look at the house.

-You okay? -Yes!

Let's go.

Uncle, before you take the client to the rooftop,

make sure to tell them the proverb you have thought of.

Singhal ji…

as they say, only that man is successful,

whose wife seems happy,

and his children have their private rooftop to play on!

Here are the keys. You open it.

And get the feeling of stepping onto your very own rooftop.

Come on.

Singhal ji.

Can I get the keys back, please? Another client is expected in the evening.

So, what did you decide?

Any problem here?

Can you please call the cops?

What happened, ma'am?

Mr. Manager!

Don't worry.

Cops are here.

Special Branch.

What is the problem?

He's shoving cake into my friend's mouth.

He's saying, "Eat the whole cake."

Who can eat so much cake?

One can eat.

But…

you may have to vomit it out, that's all.

And if Jimmy bhai is asking you to eat…

then you must.

Help!

Anybody? Please, help!

Come, come.

My Dad was talking so nicely to you,

you could have spoken nicely to him as well.

That's good manners.

Fine, don't talk nicely.

At least don't misbehave, dude.

The cake is small, alcohol is cheap. Did that hurt your ass?

Asshole, you were making fun of a 55-year-old man on his birthday!

-Sorry, please. -I am saying sorry, please…

Please, leave him.

Fine, alright.

You don't want to eat cake.

Is that right?

Then…

let's do one thing,

Happy Birthday, Uncle.

Thank you for the cake.

Thank you, my child.

Dad…

Some people wanted to wish you.

Hit it.

It's a happy birthday for Jimmy's dad!

Wishing Mehta ji the best! It's a happy birthday!

Eat good, live good, celebrate every day!

Hello, bro!

The client is interested.

I have told him about the price.

Five and a half. If the full payment is done this week,

then five.

Uncle, tell the client,

if he makes the full payment in two days instead of a week,

we'll waive an additional five percent.

-Okay. -Bhaiya…

how did you do all this?

I couldn't understand anything.

You see…

everyone's a dumbfuck, Jatin.

You just need the right mastermind.

I'll explain everything when we meet.

But make sure to fix your hair.

You must look like the cheapest whore from GB Road in that silky hair.

-Okay, bhaiya. -He is right.

Oh, come on, Uncle!

Come!

What happened to him?

He was an actor just like you.

All that struggle made him fucking lose it.

-Come! Come! -He'll fall sick.

It's an everyday thing.

His friends say he got a very good role in a film.

He had a reading with the director.

He couldn't reach in time due to rain.

The director's ego got in the way.

He was replaced.

Now, every time it rains, he gets all riled up.

He says, "This is not rain. It's God punishing me."

"He is fighting with me."

Now, he is fighting back

with God.

Come on!

Give me your hand.

Get lost, asshole!

Why are you giving me your hand?

He is punishing me with rain,

he will punish you with hail.

He will teach you a good lesson.

Get lost!

The house is looking very nice.

You know, when we were little, Neetu…

a boy used to live here.

He wouldn't let me and Prince enter the house.

Why?

Mama's younger son, Danny…

he had told everyone that we used to live in a house near the drain.

Danny, the one from Australia?

No, that was Toni. Toni was fine.

Danny was an asshole, just like his father.

He used to say that the smell and germs emanating from the drain

lived in both of us.

So if anyone who breathed the same air as us,

the same germs would enter their bodies.

Prince thought it was true.

Those assholes destroyed his confidence.

He had such a lovely smile.

His eyes would shine every time he smiled.

He had stopped smiling here.

Are you crying?

Are you crazy?

Man can only cry once in his life.

When his father dies.

Come on!

Who is it?

Mami, Jimmy.

It's his housewarming tomorrow. So he has come to invite us.

You go inside.

What do you want?

Tea would be nice.

Mama…

Dad thinks we still haven't resolved our issues.

He is right, though.

But…

he is refusing to move into the new house.

Come along with mami for the housewarming lunch tomorrow.

He'll be assured.

You and your father can do a housewarming,

house-wrecking,

or whatever the fuck you want! I don't give a shit if you two die!

But hereafter, don't you dare come back here!

Get out of here.

Mama, you are behaving as if you have already become the MP.

Your ticket is not yet confirmed.

Be nice to people like us.

You never know, my candidate might become an MP.

If you be kind today…

I will be kind to you then.

Be bitter today,

and I will go, "My mama is…"

Mami will hear it.

Get up and get out!

Get out of here!

Fucking asshole!

The only reason you can sit in my house and take that tone with me

is that you know

the ticket will be announced in a week,

so I won't strike back.

But once I get the ticket,

I'll become an MP, no question about it.

After that,

a few will show up with swords, since guns

aren't really an option.

In your new house, right in front of your father, they will slit your throat.

When you had the chance,

you should have gotten me killed.

From this moment, your downfall begins.

Bhaiya!

How are you, bhaiya?

You're all grown-up and fair, Toni.