All language subtitles for planet.terror.2007.4khdr-kc.mkv.stream3-eng

They called him Machete.

Seventy dollars a day for
yard work, a hundred for roofing.

Get in.

- One-twenty-five for septic. Sewage.
- Have you ever killed anyone before?

As you may know, illegal aliens,
such as yourself,

are being forced out of our country
at an alarming rate.

For the good of both our people...
our new senator must die.

And for that,
I will pay you $150,000... cash.

He was given an offer
he couldn't refuse.

I cost the most...
because I'm the best there is.

Set up,
double-crossed and left for dead.

I took a vow of peace, and now you
want me to help you kill all these men?

Yes, bro.

I mean, Padre.

I'll see what I can do.

He knows the score.

Where are my wife and daughter?

He gets the women.

- And he Kills the bad guys.
- No!

Oh, shit.

You mean that a Mexican
day laborer is a goddamn Federale?

But they soon realized...

He's coming after us.

... they just fucked
with the wrong Mexican.

Action...

...suspense...

- ... emotion.
- Please, Father, have mercy.

God has mercy. I don't.

If you're gonna hire Machete
to kill the bad guy,

you'd better make damn sure
the bad guy isn't you.

Brought to you from your friends
at the Weinstein Company.

You're real pretty tonight, Holly.

Goddamn it, girls! If you're gonna
do that shit, do it on stage!

Smoking hot. Phew.

Cherry Darling,
I told you too many fucking times,

you can't be up there crying
and all that shit.

Do you know what a go-go dance is?

- Useless talent number 127?
- No, it's a happy dance.

Get up there and you dance happy.
It's go-go, not cry-cry.

I'm quitting.

You say that
at least one night a week.

I mean it this time.
I need a dramatic change in my life.

I've always said you're funny,

but if you don't stop crying,
I'm gonna fire your ass.

I don't want to fire your ass
because I like looking at your ass.

"Any girl leaving early
must check out with their finger

and have a bye-bye slip."

Here's my finger.

And here's my bye-bye slip.

We need some cash.

Dick! Fuck!

Aah!

Ass-bag!

Ow!

All right, boys. Come on.

All right, all right. Come on.
You guys know the drill, huh?

Wait here, lieutenant. I'll handle this.

Hey, Abby.

I can see you've had
a spot of trouble, Romy.

Would you like to tell me what happened?

Uh, they escaped.

All three?

Yeah. I don't know, uh... I don't know
how they did it. Just, they got out...

I'm sorry, Romy,
but I just don't trust you anymore.

And you know the rules.

Oh, no. I'm out. I swear, Abby,
you're not gonna see me anymore.

- OK?
- Not so fast.

I also want your balls.

I'm really quite attached to them.

Oh, sweetheart.
I was really attached to my specimens.

And now they're out there
in the night doing God knows what.

I can't do it, Abby, please.
Please, Abby.

Hey, hey! What are you guys...?!

You son of a bitch, Abby! Listen!
You don't need Abby. There's more!

There's more!
I could get you all you ever need!

Motherfucking pussies!
Let me go, you son of a bitch!

I can get you more! No! No!

Pick this up, please.

Where's the shit?

The shit's right there.
The deal is still good.

No, it's not.

You held out on me.

Now I want all of it.

It looks like I got you
by the balls, Abby.

- You certainly have.
- So...

... I'll ask you one more time.

Where's...

... the...

... shit?

Everywhere!

Oh, balls.

Get that thing away from my pumps!

It's just overheating!
I need to get to town.

It's just
a stripped radiator cap.

Water leaks when it heats up.

No pressure.

- Are you OK?
- I'm just cherry.

Go on and have a seat anywhere.
I'll be right in.

- Here, take this with you.
- Not your good spring water.

Ain't nothing good about it.
I bottle it myself.

I get it right there out of the dam.

- Thanks, JT.
- We're serving inside tonight.

Best barbeque in Texas round the clock.

- I gotta go.
- Saving lives, are ya?

Now how did you know that?

Now that's a rump roast.

I couldn't get off work this week.
But you only have to stay till ten.

A friend will be here
before ten to pick up Tony.

Going to eat your brains
and gain your knowledge

What did I tell you?
No playing with toys at the table.

- Didn't I tell you that?
- Yeah.

There's a packed suitcase under his bed.

Give it to Tony to take with him
when my friend picks him up.

I'll leave him watching TV.

But you need to be here
in the next 20 minutes. Thank you.

- What happened to your tooth?
- Fell out.

Wow. Think you could say
a prayer for your old man?

- No dead bodies for Da-da tonight.
- No dead bodies for Dad tonight. Amen.

Amen.

- Who was that you were talking to?
- Babysitter. She's on her way.

- You believe her?
- No.

Me neither.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- How's it going, JT?
- All right.

- Still open, I see.
- Oh, yeah. All night.

Free of charge.

Tonight is a special night.

- What's so special about tonight?
- Been open 25 years.

You're the second person
to show up tonight.

- Who's the first?
- Right there.

Must be passing through.
Seems only strangers eat here.

I still eat here, JT.

Oh, yeah, you sure do.

By the way, don't choke
on all that food you're eating.

Hello, Palomita.

I don't go by that name anymore.

So, you ever become
that fancy doctor?

Never did.

Thought for sure you would.
You talked about it enough.

That's the problem with goals,
they become the thing you talk about

instead of the thing you do.

That's my jacket.

I looked for it for two weeks.

- How long did you look for me, Wray?
- Jacket belonged to me, you didn't.

So, um... what are you doing now?

I'm going to be a stand-up comedian.

Really?

You're not funny.

That's what I've been trying to tell
everybody, but they say I'm hysterical.

But you're not.

There's a difference between
being frank and being dick.

Yeah, well, it's really good
seeing you again.

Oh, um...

... what name do you go by now? In case
I wanna catch one of your shows.

Cherry.

Cherry Darling.

Sounds like a stripper.

No, it sounds like a go-go dancer.
There's a difference.

Right.

Well... you'll always be
Palomita to me.

I need a ride.

What do you say El Wray?

I'll give you a ride.

Goodbye, Bill.

- Don't you mean "See you later?"
- Of course.

Hey, what's up, doc?

Little lady's looking
pretty good there.

Looks like she could suck
the bend out of a river. I'm kidding.

- Look at that shit.
- What happened to your arm?

- Well, uh... I got bit.
- Bit? Bit by what?

Well, if I told you,
you probably wouldn't believe me.

Got some Bactine or something?

Ooh. Can't you just sew it up?

Well, normally, I would. I'd even be
doing something to stop the bleeding.

- Problem is, this one doesn't bleed.
- Oh, shit. Check this out.

At this old military hospital, this one
guy came back from Iraq with this.

Ooh, chronic herpetic lesions.

When he urinated it came out through
these holes here, like a fountain.

Oh, Jesus. How'd you treat it?

Fuck that. I was never in Iraq.

Good for you. The shit they spread
around there you wouldn't believe.

I got Iraqi eyeballs a friend of mine
brought back to do some studies on.

Incredible. They were
completely milked over, mustard gas.

Actually, I still have those
in my fridge.

- It's a botfly, you think?
- Chronic, viral, ulcerative lesion.

That looks like gout.

- He's running a temperature of 105.
- Is that bad?

- It's high.
- Bad would be 108.

You can have a seizure, go psychotic...

... and probably die.

- Say "ahh."
- Aah.

- Oh! Jesus!
- Oh, nice. Black abscess tongue.

All abscesses should be drained, period.

- What are you doing?
- Shut up, Joe.

Baby, get the needles.

- Be right there.
- Right now.

Asshole.

It's spreading.

Holy shit.

When did you say
you got this bite?

- Just now.
- We gotta lose the arm, Joe.

- Lose the arm? What do you mean?
- It's spreading to your shoulder.

If we don't sever that arm now,
it's gonna take over your chest,

and we can't cut that off.

Well, shouldn't I get a second opinion?

Hi, Joe.

I'm going to give you
a very strong anesthetic

so you won't feel anything
during the procedure. These...

... are my friends. My yellow friend...

- ... is just to take the sting off.
- Ah!

My blue friend... you'll barely feel.

That means my yellow friend
is already taking effect.

See how fast my friends work?

And after my red-headed friend...

... you'll never see me again.

They all react differently.

Now what?

Dedicated to
Jungle Julia, in loving memory.

It's not the radiator.

Damn it!

Fucking thing. Cheap!

Hey! Hey, hey!

Bastard! Bastard!

Hey! Hey!

Get outta the road, bitch!

Stop! Stop!
Please! Stop!

No! No!

No!

What the hell is that?

- People picking up road Kill.
- What, like an armadillo?

Deer. We get a lot of them around here.

You know,
I read a statistic that said

that the eating of venison has risen
30 percent in the last few years.

Sixty percent of that's from road kill.

People eat road kill?

If you're driving out here
at 70 miles an hour

and a deer darts out in front of you,

if you blink or brake or swerve,
shit, you'll just kill yourself.

- So, what do you do?
- Pick 'em off. Just like this.

- Send it flying away from you.
- Unacceptable.

Oh, fuck!

Cherry.

I thought you said if you saw a deer
you shouldn't fucking swerve!

That wasn't a deer.

Cherry! Cherry! No!

Ah!

Palomita.

- Don't let her die on me, Block.
- What do we got?

Car accident, heavy contusions about
the torso, possible spinal trauma...

... one severed limb.

Where's the leg?

Three sickos attacked her.
I shot at them.

I never miss.

They took the leg with them.

You have to come with us, Wray.
We need to talk about this.

- He has to sign her in.
- Do what now?

He's with her.
He's responsible for her.

He can fill this out after we talk.
Let's go.

What are you doing with a rifle, Wray?

Nothing. Was thinking about maybe doing
some hunting when the season breaks.

Come on, Wray. You know you're not
supposed to be doing that stuff anymore.

Here I stick my neck out for ya.

Now you've got a gal in your wrecked
truck with a missing leg?

A missing leg that's now missing?

And here you're saying in front of
everybody someone up and snatched it?

And that you shot them with a gun you
never should've had in the first place?

And that now they're gone?

Can we finish this conversation
somewhere else?

My thought exactly.

Dr. Block,
three fresh ones rolling in.

- Christ, you're kidding.
- Automobile accident off Highway 18.

DOAs? Have Andy pick them up.

- That's unsanitary, doc.
- Helps me monitor my state of calmness.

Don't get worked up enough to crack it.

- Fuck!
- Might cut yourself pretty good.

Then I would know I was not calm.

What do you say now, doc?

Somebody call my wife.

- Sheriff Hague.
- It's JT, sheriff.

JT, how's the barbecue business?

Ever since my bastard landlord
raised the rent, it's gone to shit.

I'm real sorry to hear about that.
I wish there was something I could do.

Right now, I ain't calling
my brother, I'm calling the sheriff.

I'm listening. What's the trouble?

There ain't no trouble,
not yet, anyway.

I got two delinquents been
hanging around here for over an hour.

They won't purchase,
and they won't leave.

- Never mind, here they come.
- You cook that meat at 250 degrees?

I don't remember.
I set the heat with my hand.

Give me that recipe or I'll raise
your rent higher than a Georgia pine.

Brother, ain't no Texan's
ever gonna give you his BBQ recipe.

That's a fact.
He'll take it to his grave.

I could be bleeding like a stuck pig,
I ain't gonna tell ya.

I could be dying in your arms,
I ain't gonna tell ya.

We'll see about that.

You gonna look,
or are you gonna eat?

- You called for me?
- I need for you to see this.

- Looks like a no-brainer.
- What does that mean?

No brain.
Scooped clean out of her skull.

I know what this is.
Don't tell me. Liquefactive necrosis.

- You think?
- Oh, sure.

Thank you, that'll be all.

Did you know she was back in town?

No.

I didn't.

What happened to her?

I don't know, baby.

I thought you stopped seeing each other.

We have.

Well, yes, you have now.
She's fucking dead.

I mean, we stopped before.

I haven't talked to her in a while.

But you've written each other?

Here and there.

But nothing...

What're you doing?!

Let me see your last three messages.

- You have no right.
- I don't?

I don't have a right?

Show it to me.

- Show it to me.
- No.

Ahh!

Now that's just to take the sting off.

- Show it to me.
- No, please.

Show it to me!

Now let's see how fast
your friends work.

That's pretty fast.

Oh, what do I know, my love?

Exactly.

That you're a cheating, lying...

... sack.

- I didn't want to hurt you.
- But you did.

Because you're insane.

And I was afraid
of what you might do to me...

... to our son.

I'm the mother of your son.

Ah!

And after this one...

... I'll never see you again.

- Dr. Block?
- What?

- You've gotta see this.
- I'll be right there.

Where the hell are the bodies?

That's what we wanted to show you.
They're gone.

They didn't just get up
and walk out, did they?

Shut the fuck up!
Somebody take care of this perp for me

- before I fucking kill him!
- What the hell is going on?

He was causing a ruckus
over at Skip's place, so I cuffed him,

and the son of a bitch,
he bit my goddamn finger off!

Quit your hollering
and get yourself a goddamn Band-Aid.

I'm not exaggerating, using colorful
speech. He bit my finger clean off!

Fucking shit!

Get out there and book him. I'll
fucking kill him if I have to do it.

Carlos, go get him.

Wray, you stay put.

- Are you sure he's in there?
- He was.

Motherfucker.

He's gone.

- Broke out the window.
- Where's my finger?

Found your ring.

Could it be the same guy
as your leg snatcher?

I didn't get a good look at mine.

That him over there?

Wray!

Fuck.

You motherfucker!

- No, don't touch him!
- Why not?

- He's infected.
- With what?

- Everything.
- Wray!

Drop the fucking gun.

Where the fuck do you
think you're going?

- I'm gonna go get Cherry.
- Fine, but we're taking my car.

I'm riding with you.

Don't make any sudden moves.

Viral infections.

They came pouring in.

Some are rapidly developing
coliform lesions. Highly contagious.

- What do you think?
- Self-preservation comes to mind.

Yeah. Let's get the hell out of here.

First, let me get my wife.

I love you, sweetie. There you go,
bunny rabbit. Come on, come on.

Open up now.

I want you to be around for a while.

I don't want you checking out just...

Damn!

Ramona...

... you fart like a goddamn pack mule
since I've been back, goddamn!

Hate to do this to you, Earl!
But we need every man on the job!

The shit has hit the fan!

Bring some guns and ammo!

Meet me at my brother's!

I gotcha. I'll be there.

You gotta eat quick, sweetie.
Come on.

Oh, my.

Ah!

Oh, my God.

What the hell is going on?

- Are you gonna give me a gun?
- Are you fucking kidding me?

Palomita?

- Get up. We're leaving.
- I can't walk.

So what? Get up!

Get...

Motherfucker! Look at me!

Look at me!

I was gonna be a stand-up comedian.
Who's gonna laugh now?

Some of the best jokes
are about cripples. Let's go.

- It's not funny. It's pathetic.
- Would you stop crying over fucking...

- ... spilt milk?!
- I have no leg!

Now you do. What do you think?

- You could carry me, Wray.
- Yeah? You never wanted that before.

Why start now?

Ahh!

This is fucking ridiculous.

The sheriff must've taken
the others to JT's. Get in!

Goddamn it, wait for me.

- My leg's stuck in the door.
- It's just wood.

- It's splintering!
- Will you just leave it alone?

Why is this happening to me?

Just do me a favor right now
and just stay strong.

Stay?

Yeah, baby, stay.

OK, my name is Electra. Fucking listen.

It's furry.

It's a furry one.

El for Electra, Ame from Amelia.
Does that make any fucking sense?

You can call me whatever the fuck
you want. I don't give a shit.

- You said ten!
- I'm sorry.

We can't be watching your kid
all goddamned night!

Your friend never showed up,
and we got shit to do!

That's right.

Then start doing it.

Tony! We're leaving!

- Wait, my tarantula.
- Bring it, let's go.

And my turtle. And my scorpion.

We're not octopuses.
We can't carry everything.

- Octopi.
- Come on! Let's go.

Tony, what did I tell you? You can't
bring them all. Didn't I tell you that?

It's OK. They can live in the same tank.

- What about my pocket bike?
- It's in the trunk.

Where you think you're going,
you fucking bitch?!

We're gonna fucking kill you!

We're gonna kill you, bitch!

Are you sure you wanna do this?

Everybody grab a badge and a gun.
You're all deputies,

as of this moment forward,
except for you, Wray.

Nope.

- What do we got?
- Something's wrong up there.

JT always comes out and greets.
Let's go!

Try not to shoot yourselves.

Don't shoot each other.

But especially...

... don't shoot me.

JT!

Go on! Get off him, Rusty!

Goddamn, JT.

Yah!

Ehh!

Barbeque?

Asshole.

- Damn good sausage link, JT.
- Best in Texas.

Must've passed out
after I killed those things.

Nice shooting.

Everybody, gather up supplies.
We head out in 20.

I want you to open that for Mommy.

Now, take the gun.

Careful.

And if anyone
comes to the door that isn't me,

I want you to shoot them, OK?

I'm not kidding, Tony.
You shoot them.

Just like your video games.

You shoot them in the head.

What if it's Dad?

Especially if it's your dad.

And be careful
where you point that thing.

You'll blow your own face off.
I'll be right back.

I love you.

Tony!

Hello, baby.

Open!

Look what you did to our son!

Stay away!

Goddamn it, I told you
I didn't want to see you again.

Daddy!

Get your sorry ass in here!

If it's escape vehicles you want,
escape vehicles I got.

Right this way.

Watch that meat!

Meet my wife.

Jesse James custom Dominator.

I made Jesse a plate
of barbeque so good,

he made this baby for me
free of fucking charge.

Got anything that could
transport more people?

- Where's the top?
- Baby's chopped permanently.

Ain't got no roll bar,
chicken wire, none of that shit.

- No protection.
- And she's fast.

Nitrous injected, 350 horsepower engine.

Who are you? I mean really.
Wray's Wreckage?

That's what it says on your truck.

Are you a wrecker, Wray?

I'm nobody.

It's the easiest thing to remember.

So remember it.

Hey, you want some barbeque?

- Best in Texas.
- Aw, no thanks.

- What's the matter? You don't eat meat?
- Oh, I eat meat.

I also eat lots of shit.

- See this?
- What's that?

Shit-eating grin.

You ought to be a comedian.

- What do you think of the leg?
- Oh, that's funny.

How's your stump?

They knocked it out something fierce.
Still can't feel a thing.

This must be the real Bone Shack.

- Old JT knows how to live.
- Like fuck he does.

- I like how you say "fuck."
- Good. Fuck you.

Fuck me?

Oh, so now you're the comedian.
Go ahead. Drop your pants.

That'll be good for a laugh.

I highly doubt that.

- That's my jacket.
- Yes, I know.

I looked for it for two weeks.

Look, you were being
an unbelievable dick.

I was walking out on you.

I was cold.
I took your fucking jacket.

So if you're gonna go on one of your
psycho, obsessive controlling rants

about a jacket, then fucking take it.

'Cause I'd rather fucking freeze than
fucking hear about it one more time.

- Did you find what was in the pocket?
- Fuck no.

Look for it.

No, the other one.

I was gonna give it to you,
but you left me.

You took the jacket.

And I looked for it
for two weeks.

Read it.

"Two against the world."

Remember that?

I never forgot it.

Why'd you leave?

Because you didn't
believe in us or in me.

I figured one of the new deputies
might end up shooting me,

- but not you, Tolo!
- Sorry! I'm sorry.

- Dumb-ass.
- You're gonna be all right.

McGraw is here
and a whole bunch of others.

Come on! Move your ass! Come on!

What did I tell you, Tony?

Don't point the gun at yourself.

Didn't I tell you that?

Thank you for telling me about...
you know.

Don't mention it.
That's an order.

If I had known that you were...

... EI Wray, I wouldn't have
given you such a hard time.

I didn't mean to be a prick about it.

"Need to know basis," that kind of shit.

Take this.

Do what you do best.

No, you're not.
Don't give him the gun.

Give him the gun, Tolo.

Give him that gun.

Give him all the guns.

Holy shit.

That boy's got the devil in him.

We gotta fight them off.
Get to our vehicles.

- All right.
- All right.

Everyone behind me.

Outside, now!

Goddamn you!

Everybody back inside!

You, Skip, front and center.

Go out front, start up the Kill Dozer.

We need it to transport
the other survivors.

You fucking crazy?
I'm not going out there.

- I'll cover you.
- I'm not going.

- I never miss.
- Come on, Skip.

It's go-go, not cry-cry.

Cherry!

Oh, dear.

JT! You take whoever you can fit
in your convertible!

Everyone else on board!

- Skip, grab the twins! Come on with me!
- You take the chopper.

- I need someone else to drive my truck!
- I'll do it.

You're bleeding like a stuck pig,
your vision is blurred,

- and you're on your last leg.
- Anything else?

Don't wreck it.

Somebody grab the slaw. It ain't
no barbeque without coleslaw!

- I need a gun!
- Take this.

Fucking cool!

All right, y'all, head out.
I'll hold 'em off.

I can take care of myself.

Bye, daddy.

Remember how to ride a bike?

Useless talent number 32.

Good. Anyone else have a car?

You sure you're OK driving this thing?

Hell, yeah.

Dakota! We're sorry about Tony.

Thanks.

Your engine is shot
and you've got three blown tires.

But I've got
a pocket bike in the trunk.

- Is it fast?
- Zero to 50 in four seconds.

You ride with her.

- I'm Cherry.
- You sure are.

Move out!

Damn shame.

Rusty!

Goddamn it!

Sheriff, how much ammo we got?

Not enough.

Don't shoot! We're not infected!

All survivors gotta come with us.

Especially you...

... El Wray.

I don't go by that name anymore.

It's OK. It's OK.

We're here in quarantine
with the other survivors.

Where is here?

The old Army base.

El Wray?

That you?

He's with them.
I saw him in their convoy earlier.

I'm a scientist and a businessman.
Not military.

Which is why he's gonna tell us
what the fuck is going on.

They're stealing biochemical weapons.

- DC-2?
- Also known as Project Terror.

Designed to take out an entire populace
in a controlled, landlocked area.

You were supplying it to them.

So why'd they shut you out?

They found my supply.
It's under our feet.

Ten stories down.

The only treatment is a regimented
exposure to DC-2, itself.

- Delays the negative effects.
- They need it.

- Like a drug.
- Correct. We found that

a small percentage of people
are not affected by the gas itself.

And within this
small percentage lies a cure.

What do you want to do?

Mexico.

Put our backs against the ocean
and defend ourselves from there.

No. We have to get back to my lab.

This infection will spread
all over the world

to every man, woman and child,
unless I finish my antidote.

You have an antidote?

You! You! Come with us.

Move it! Move it, Peggy!

- You like Ava Gardner?
- Sorry?

Ava Gardner, do you like her?

Yeah, I guess.

I was just thinking that you, uh...

... kind of look like
Ava Gardner a little bit.

You got something you wanna say to me?

I have nothing to say to you.

You got nothing to say, huh?
That's funny.

'Cause I could've swore you just gave me
a "fuck you" look right now.

You wanna say "fuck you" to me?

Not at this moment.

Do you know what this is?

- A gun.
- It's simplicity itself.

You see, you point it
at what you want to die,

and you pull the little trigger here,
and a little bullet comes outta here.

And the little bullet
hits you right there.

And you know what?

You don't look like Ava Gardner no more.

Don't taunt me, tramp.

I am not one to be taunted. You got it?

Let me hear you say "I got it."

- I got it.
- You damn well better.

Tool.

That's it. I figured it out.

Salt. Got it all figured out. It's salt.

Blood is salty. That's all my sauce
needed was just a little more salt.

Just needed a little thickening agent,
you know what I'm talking about.

- What are you doing, JT?
- I gotta put more salt in it.

Do the same goddamned thing
the blood did.

Tell you what, brother,
that little bit of blood did the trick.

Don't do nothing stupid, JT.
I got it covered.

It's already got my sweat and tears.
Now all it needs is some blood!

- Drop the gun!
- JT! I

- Do it now!
- OK, OK. Don't shoot!

JT, you all right?

You all right, bro?

Goddamn it, I'm not
all right at all. Not at all.

- Wait here.
- Oh, I sure will.

Goddamn sauce.

Women in cages.

See them in action.

See them in love.

See them in terror.

White skin on the black market.

Soft flesh for hard cash.

Women in cages.

I'm gonna go get my dick wet.

She's got one leg.

Easier access.

You got a point.

Get the rest of this shit upstairs,
and we'll blow this entire floor.

Get Lewis down here.

- He's getting his dick wet, sir.
- Get him the fuck down here now!

Lewis? Wilson?

- Where are my men?
- I've got several right here.

What the fuck's this?

They're balls, sweetheart.

I'm walking out of here
with the shit, Wray.

- Let us go.
- Tell me why we should.

- Because I earned it.
- How you figure that?

You want the story?
I'll spin it for you quick.

A termite's nest of caves
on the Afghan border,

me and my men, walking around
with our dicks in our hands

and our balls in our throats,
looking for America's most wanted.

- Bin Laden?
- Yeah.

For once, our intel was right on the
money. I come around a corner, bam,

- there he is, looking me in the eyes.
- Wait. You killed Bin Laden?

I put two in his heart,
one in his computer.

- So that was you?
- Yeah, that was me.

Class-A clusterfuck.
He wasn't supposed to be there,

we weren't supposed to be there,
and I sure as fuck

wasn't supposed to be the one
to punch his dialysis ticket.

So instead of a chest full of medals,
we got a face full of DC-2.

No cure.

That is not until we found somebody
from the other side

willing to sell us batches
of this shit.

Science comes first, but business
comes a close fucking second.

Then you realized if you
could infect a large enough populace,

experiment on its survivors,
you'd find a cure.

I swore to my men that I'd do everything
in my power to keep them alive.

That's what I intend to do, Wray.

Understand?

I never had a choice.

Neither do I , sir.

God bless you
and your service to this country.

You're a doctor?

I was earlier tonight.

I always wanted to be a doctor.

Instead, I can do this.

Useless talent number 66.

- I'm very pliable.
- A girlfriend of mine had a theory.

She said at some point in your life...

... you find a use for every
useless talent you ever had.

- It's like connecting the dots.
- I'm not that optimistic.

I feel like I'm sinking down the drain
and I can't get out.

She'd say... when you're stuck
in that spiral...

... you reach up.

What if there's nothing up there?

Just reach up.

- You're a dancer.
- I was earlier tonight.

Well, I'm pulling you out of retirement!

Get your ass up!

Now I'm starved for entertainment, baby,
and that means you. Radio!

Well, baby, now!

That's what I'm talking about.
Dance it up.

Keep dancing!

I have seen me some crazy-ass shit
in my day...

... but I ain't never seen me
a one-legged stripper.

I've seen me a stripper
with one breast...

... and I've seen me a stripper
with 12 toes...

... and I've seen me a stripper
with no brains at all...

... but I ain't never seen me
a one-legged stripper.

And I've been to Morocco.

Dance, bitch!

Break a leg.

Break it off!

Dance for me, motherfucker.

You thought it was pretty funny,
didn't you?

Actually, yes.

You gave me some wood,
now I'm gonna give you...

... some fucking wood!

Your gas! You need your gas!

No, fuck the gas! Fuck it!
I'm just gonna have to make this quick!

- Where did you get that?
- Useless talent number 37.

- I broke my leg.
- That's OK.

I made you something.

I do believe in you. Always have.

I believe that you could be better.

You deserve better...

... even better than me.

Right now, I need you to become...

... who you're meant to be.

Stand.

I'd stand clear if I were you.

Open that door, will you, baby?

They've destroyed most of the tanks.

Any that are left we'll get
on our way to the helicopters.

There are two helicopters,
big enough to take all of us.

Who can fly?

Can anyone else fly a helicopter?

I can fly, but no way in hell
I'm gonna fly tonight.

OK, cool. I'll fly.

Let's go.

I think we're gonna stay here, Wray.

You'll take care of this
for me then, sheriff?

- With pleasure.
- Three minutes.

- Your brother's a good man, JT.
- Best in Texas.

Hop on.

- No, the other way.
- Oh.

No, the other way.

The helicopters are on
the other side of this wall.

We make a run for it!

No! If we all get killed,
there's no stopping this plague.

Don't you get it?
We're the antidote!

- Well, is there another way around?
- Wait here.

I don't suppose there are any
other biochemical engineers around?

Take that as no.

We have to get over that wall.

I was thinking we could build us a new
place right there where the old one was.

You cook, I work the back.

You don't make that rent
so goddamn high.

You share the recipe,
we share the rent.

Start at 250 degrees.

I knew it. For how long?

- Twelve pounds?
- Sure.

Twelve pounds, 12 hours.

- Wrapped in tin foil, right?
- I don't use no goddamn foil.

Damn. Tomatoes? Fresh?

Canned.

- No shit?
- Yeah.

- Score me some?
- Oh, yeah.

'Cause we're brothers.

Thank you for this.

You just remember you got to take
this recipe to your grave.

I think I can goddamn guarantee that.

That's our cue.

Cherry Darling...

... it's all you.

Let's go!

Wray!

Damn it, Wray!

OK, you need to get up
'cause we're leaving.

They told me I'd find you here.

I was beginning to lose hope.

I'm sorry... but I lied.

I did wanna hurt you.

My turn.

No more dead bodies for Daddy tonight.

Never did like that son of a bitch.

About as useless as a pecker on a pope.

- Don't touch anything.
- I want to fly it!

- He said not to touch anything!
- You don't know what you're doing!

I do know what I'm doing! Shut up!

Shut up! Sit down
and don't fucking touch anything!

Everybody sit down!

Whoo!

Hit the wipers.

- Go on, leave me.
- I am not leaving you here like this.

The motherfuckers around here
eat road Kill.

See? I'm funny.

- I made you laugh.
- Go to the ocean.

Put your backs to it,
protect yourselves there.

I'm not leaving you, Wray.

It's two against the world.

It will be.

I promise.

I never miss.

Don't worry, baby.

You'll find your way.

Reach up!

Reach up!

It's like you said
it would be, Wray.

I'm like you said I would be.

I find the lost...

... the weary...

... those that have no hope.

I find them and I lead them...

... to a land we've made for ourselves.

The land by the sea.

It's beautiful.

She's beautiful.

I wish you could see us... us two.

It's like you said it would be.

Two against the world, baby.

Two against the world.