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Fxx presents it's always sunny
in Philadelphia.
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¶ ¶
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come on, this way.
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Clear the room.
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All clear, nobody's here.
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It sounds like
it got quiet out there.
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Yeah.
8
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Shit! Frank!
There's somebody here.
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Is anybody here?
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Speak up... we will shoot.
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Wait, hold your fire,
frank! It's just a kid.
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Hey, boy.
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Is that water for us?
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Jesus Christ, frank,
you just killed a kid!
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Eh.
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Jesus Christ!
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Oh, my god.
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I'm gonna give him cpr.
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Now, is he blowing someone?
What is happening?
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- Yeah, looks like it.
- Jesus Christ,
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frank, he was just
trying to give us water, man!
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Forget it, he's dead.
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You can't go
around killing kids!
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Think about his mom and his dad.
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How long they been
playing this for?
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Oh, dude...
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Three straight days.
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They've been playing this
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for three days?
Yeah, absolutely.
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Jesus Christ, have they slept?
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No. No, they've just been
wandering around the bar,
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blowing kids, doing whatever
they're doing, you know?
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Frank, behind you!
Is this where we're headed?
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I mean, as a world?
Know what I mean...
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As a society?
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Hey, uh, have any of you
seen my guy yet?
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Oh, what is this, now?
What? Who? Huh?
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What do you want to tell us?
Just tell us. Oh, I just
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totally hooked up
with this super hot
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stripper soldier last night.
He's swinging by.
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Oh, you're dating a stripper.
Mm-hmm.
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Wow, gross.
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Gross? If you guys started
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dating a stripper
you'd be bragging about it
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for days. I meet myself
a Channing Tatum
46
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and suddenly it's gross?
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A what... a charming taint man?
48
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What words is she trying to say?
49
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Uh, she's talking about
Channing Tatum. Oh.
50
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He's an actor. What
do I know him in?
51
00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:04,223
Well, he-he plays g.I. Joe. Oh!
52
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G.I... oh, g.I. Joe's the shit.
G.I. Joe. Yeah, yeah.
53
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,227
Well, then say g.I. Joe, don't make
up a name. All right, you know what,
54
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whatever.
It doesn't matter. Anyway,
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we had this
really amazing connection
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and the sex was so meaningful,
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both of us wept tears of joy.
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Makes me want to throw up. Yeah.
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Just what happened. You know
what I think is happening
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00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,470
right now? I think the guy's
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coming by because
you stole his watch.
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Oh, right, you jacked
his wallet or something
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00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,008
so he'd come over and you-you...
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Yeah. Right? Just to get
him to talk to you again.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Hello. Hey. Hey, Mike.
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Hey. Thanks for calling me.
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Yeah. Thanks for coming by.
So you have
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00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,085
my watch?
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Oh... Yeah. Just diving
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straight into that, huh?
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Listen, um, I'm really glad
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you called, though.
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I really wanted to thank you
for last night.
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Thank you for last night.
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00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:45,164
Yeah. It's like, we were
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having sex and the whole time
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yeah. I was like,
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"what's become of me?"
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You know, all I do is I
strip all night, I play
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video games all day,
I have meaningless sex
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with strangers.
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My own daughter won't even
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talk to me, you know? So I was
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like... "Damn."
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And I realized
I hit rock bottom.
87
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,215
Oh.
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And that's why I was crying.
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00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:06,985
Oh. Right, yeah.
90
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,054
Yeah. Yeah. But don't-don't
take it personally.
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00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,522
No. Because it...
Why would it be?
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All right, cool. It's...
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Yeah, cool.
Cool, 'cause it really
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helped me realize that I got to
give that lifestyle up.
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Oh... So thank you.
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You're welcome.
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Um... I don't
remember your name.
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Dee.
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Dee?
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Yeah. Cool.
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00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,643
Now, can I get that watch, or...
102
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,345
Hey, Dee, I think he just wants his watch.
I think he needs his...
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Yeah, I understand. Yeah.
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Oh, yeah, yeah.
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¶ ¶
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rock bottom? Me?
Uh, hey, buddy, how about when
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your daughter
stopped talking to you...
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Maybe that was
your rock bottom, okay?
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I'm not rock bottom.
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You know what I am? I'm a rock.
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Dee is a rock.
In fact, I'm the type of gal
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who makes men's lives better.
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Hey-o! You guys mind if I shower
in that leaky urinal again?
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Well, that... don't count that.
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That's not a good example.
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No, I got... I got
to do something
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about this, goddamn it.
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I am gonna fix this problem,
'cause I'm gonna
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tell you something right now:
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Sweet Dee is a rock.
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Goddamn it, frank,
you shot a woman.
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Who cares? Jesus Christ, man,
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I got to stop. This is too real.
What, what?
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I got to take a break, dude.
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It's driving me insane.
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Come on, how are we gonna win
if you keep quitting?
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I don't care!
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00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,280
Lot of storm-outs today, huh?
Yeah.
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Yeah. Yeah. This is pathetic.
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Dee can't handle
a little rejection.
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Mac's banged up
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over a goddamn video game.
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Yeah. It's...
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Stripper guy is traumatized
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because he gets to
take his clothes off
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in front of a bunch
of horny ladies.
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Yeah. And then he has sex
with one disgusting bird.
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Yeah. Come on, man,
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that's not trauma. That's not real trauma.
Nah. It's not even
140
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that bad. I mean,
if... if anything,
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that's insulting to people
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00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:02,567
yeah. Who have
experienced real trauma.
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00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:03,568
I think it is. Yeah.
I mean, like
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00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,070
you, for instance.
145
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,438
Uh, me?
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00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,739
Well, yeah. Sure, man.
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00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:08,907
I mean, you grew up fatherless.
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You were raised by a woman
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who was basically a prostitute.
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Well, the father stuff was real.
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00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:13,679
Yeah, without a doubt.
152
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:14,646
Got some daddy issues there.
153
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:15,847
And-and you, too. I mean,
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00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,516
like, you know,
what happened with you...
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00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,484
With Ms. klinsky, the librarian.
I mean, you were raped.
156
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,752
Ah. No. St... And tha-that's
got to affect you.
157
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That's trauma. Will you stop?
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Why do you guys br... no.
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That wasn't a rape, okay?
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It was. That was a mutual... no, stop.
Like...
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She's an older woman,
you were a younger...
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A woman can't rape a guy.
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An older woman can rape a younger...
It's not...
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Doesn't matter. That's not the point.
Oh, yeah. Right, right.
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This is separate, yeah.
Look, it's...
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It's not the point.
The point is,
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yeah, fine, I'll do it.
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00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,803
You'll do what?
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00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,538
I'll strip. Yeah.
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00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,673
Huh. I didn't realize
you were talking about that.
171
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Huh. You know,
173
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if this Mike fella
wants to walk away
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00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,679
from an amazing
stripping career,
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00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,381
hey, I'll take up that mantle.
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00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:50,682
You know, frankly,
I'm a little disappointed
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in myself for not
thinking of it before.
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00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:53,352
You know? It just makes sense.
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00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,353
Right, yeah.
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00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:55,387
Here's the thing, man.
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00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:56,388
I can't do it without you.
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I need you to get my back.
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00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,891
Oh, uh, you want me
to strip with you?
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00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,360
Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
185
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,028
I-I-i... no, I just literally
186
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,196
need you to have a look
at my back, you know,
187
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,364
make sure there's no moles
188
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:06,465
or, like, unsightly hairs,
189
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:07,466
bumps, zits, you know,
190
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:08,467
that kind of thing. Ah, yeah...
191
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:09,468
And then, you know,
get after it.
192
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,402
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'll clean you up.
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00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:11,503
All right, all right,
I can do that.
194
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:12,838
Cool. Cool, man. You be my boy?
195
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,339
Yeah, I'll be the boy.
196
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,041
Well, just be my...
L-like my bag boy.
197
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,709
You know, carry around
my-my lotions,
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00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,511
my oils, my scents, my razors.
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00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:20,746
Cool, man. Chill, chill.
200
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:22,214
Yeah, that's cool, right?
201
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:23,782
Yeah, that's cool, bro.
Cool. Cool.
202
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,386
Frank, where are you, man?
203
00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,453
I can't see.
204
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:30,822
Jesus Christ.
205
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,760
Oh, who's there?! Oh...
206
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,361
Hey, boy.
207
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:37,562
How you doing, man?
208
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,902
No! Baba!
209
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:46,204
Mama!
210
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,539
Oh, shit!
211
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:48,774
Oh, no, man!
212
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:49,841
I'm so sorry, man.
213
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:53,845
Hey, son.
214
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:56,014
Dad?! What are you doing here?
215
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,182
How did you get in the game?
216
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,617
Guess we...
217
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,786
Won't be having that catch
218
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,587
after all.
219
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,889
You were gonna have a catch
with me?
220
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:08,427
I was, but...
221
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:10,462
You killed me, son.
222
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,865
I... love...
223
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,967
Wa-wa...
224
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,636
Wait! Wait, dad!
Who do you love?
225
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,638
Dad, who do you love? Wait.
226
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,974
Dad, who do you
love? No, dad! No!
227
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:28,547
What the hell?
228
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,615
Oh, was that a dream?
229
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,451
Dennis?
230
00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:34,653
Oh, my god, man, I just
had the weirdest dream.
231
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,171
- What?
- Frank.
232
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,840
Look, I-i... I can't sleep.
I'm having nightmares.
233
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,675
Dead kids, dads.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Mac.
234
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,477
Slow down. What are you saying?
235
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:33,945
I got to quit the game, dude.
I can't
236
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,480
do this anymore. No, no, no.
237
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,048
Don't quit just yet.
238
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,551
Look, have a drink and calm down.
Okay, fine.
239
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:42,354
I'll calm down. I'll-I'll drink
some whiskey or something.
240
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,356
Yeah, stuff it down with brown.
241
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:46,391
That's the best way
to deal with things.
242
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:47,859
Okay.
243
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,228
Kid's a mess.
244
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:57,903
Goddamn it, Charlie,
we're 30 minutes late, man.
245
00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,005
I'm so sorry I cut your
back so many times, man.
246
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,640
What happened?
I was nervous, dude.
247
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,909
Why? I've never, like, cut
such a muscular back.
248
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:06,211
Thanks, man. Yeah. Oh, dude,
your back looks great, man.
249
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,713
I'm working hard, dude. Dude, you're putting
the work in, and it's showing, man.
250
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,982
Thank you so much, man. I really appreciate
that. Yeah, right, right, right, right.
251
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,652
But just let's not talk about it in there.
Don't bring it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
252
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,320
Can you walk me through
what your guy is again?
253
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:16,821
Okay, so here's the deal, man.
254
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,590
Who do girls want to have sex
with more than anybody else?
255
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,659
Jugglers. Jug...?
256
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,561
Dudes who can, like, juggle things.
I know what a juggler is.
257
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:23,595
You know, with the fire
sticks and the balls. Yeah.
258
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,530
No, they don't want
to have sex with a juggler.
259
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:27,532
They want to have sex
with their dads.
260
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:30,735
Weird. Yeah, it is
weird, so I'm a dad.
261
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,737
Oh. Okay, cool. Oh,
and I'm your boy.
262
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:36,441
All right, that works. Well, no.
What? Why would you be my boy?
263
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,410
Oh, you said I was gonna be your
boy 'cause I have daddy trauma,
264
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,911
and then, I didn't realize
I was gonna be your boy
265
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,413
in there, but that works great.
266
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:42,714
No, that doesn't make any sense.
267
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,182
How would you be my s...?
268
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:45,617
I'm their dad.
How could I also be your dad?
269
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,118
We can't all be related.
Christ, Charlie,
270
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,753
you're not making any sense, man.
Right, right.
271
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,122
Yeah, I mean, you could have
a lot of kids, I guess.
272
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,191
I got to say, though,
I'm looking inside there,
273
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,593
and this isn't
making sense to me.
274
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,127
I mean, these are all
older women. Might be
275
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,263
a little bit hard for me to pull
off the dad thing at all.
276
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,599
That's not a good play. You know, I'm
getting a bad feeling about this, man.
277
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,634
Hey, man, do you think
maybe that's 'cause
278
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:05,270
of your librarian trauma? You're
talking about Ms. klinsky?
279
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,938
Yeah, she was an older woman, and...
What? No. There was...
280
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,240
Let's not talk... can we stop
talking about trauma
281
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,209
and-and-and cuts on the...
On peoples' backs? Yes.
282
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:12,644
And let's...
It's not sexy, okay?
283
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,412
Okay, yeah, well, then let's split.
Okay.
284
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,214
All right, let's go.
All right, man.
285
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,049
Are you the stripper?
286
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,884
Oh, uh, yeah, that's him. Uh...
287
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:21,786
What, are you 40? Yup.
288
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,622
Fine. You guys'll do, I guess.
289
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,790
Y-you guys? No.
Sorry. I'm just the boy.
290
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,659
The what? Just... Sorry.
I'm-I'm his boy.
291
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:30,228
Well, you're not my boy.
He's not...
292
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,897
Are you gonna stand out here
and talk like little bitches,
293
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:36,568
or are you gonna come inside and
take your dicks out for money?
294
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:39,838
Daddy?
295
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,807
Don't call me daddy.
296
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,643
Yeah, my generation...
297
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,811
We drank our problems away.
298
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:50,081
But since you softies like
to talk about everything,
299
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,684
I figured this was
a good thing to do.
300
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,753
A PTSD support group, frank?
301
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,688
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe you'll get some help,
302
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:59,324
we can finish the damn game.
What's up, dicks?
303
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,992
What the hell
are you doing here?
304
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,695
Well, because I am a rock and
not a rock bottom, I decided
305
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:06,464
to reach out to Mike and see
if I could get him some help
306
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,932
with, uh, some of these
issues he's been having.
307
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:10,335
I'm confused. Is this
a PTSD meeting for vets?
308
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,704
Mm-hmm, yeah. You're
a military guy, right?
309
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:15,140
No. It was just
my stripper character.
310
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:16,875
Really? Oh, I just
figured you based
311
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:19,944
your characters off
past experiences. Why?
312
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:23,682
Okay, look, I-I'm not gonna pass
myself off as a vet, frank.
313
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:24,949
Yeah, I don't feel good about this.
Maybe... Well, then just don't talk.
314
00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:26,785
But... You don't have to talk.
Just sit down.
315
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,953
Okay, everybody, let's grab a
chair, let's get this started.
316
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,890
Probably not gonna call on you anyway.
Okay, right off
317
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,792
the bat, I can see
we got some newcomers
318
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:36,361
here today. You guys want
to introduce yourselves?
319
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,729
Ugh. Goddamn it.
320
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,564
Uh, I'm frank.
321
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:41,900
I've been around the block,
seen some action.
322
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,802
I was in 'nam for a while.
323
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,470
Private sector mostly.
324
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:46,871
I did shoot a couple of dinks
325
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,541
who tried to Jack some sneakers
off the factory floor.
326
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:50,909
No big deal.
327
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,510
I don't feel nothing about it.
328
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,746
I'm just here
to support my buddy.
329
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,715
Uh...
330
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:58,483
Hello. I'm Dee. I'm a rock.
331
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,051
I'm here with this guy.
332
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,921
There was a bit of a mix-up
about his military credentials,
333
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:05,190
but, uh... whatever.
334
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:05,191
Torrent downloaded by rarbg
335
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:07,859
now he's under the delusion
that he's hit rock bottom,
336
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:11,763
you know, and I just don't see
how that's possibly true, so,
337
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,865
we're gonna straighten
that up while we're
338
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,600
sitting here today, you know.
339
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:16,901
Mac's being a pussy!
340
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,403
He doesn't want
to fight anymore!
341
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,938
I'm not being a pussy.
342
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,172
I just don't want to
kill women and children.
343
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,207
How do I get him
344
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:24,175
to stop thinking of them
as real people?
345
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:25,610
Mike's embarrassed
about his dancing,
346
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:27,345
and I just... I don't get that.
347
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,214
I don't... how is that
rock bottom behavior?
348
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:30,915
You know? Think
of Channing Tatum.
349
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,751
Can you please explain
Channing Tatum to him?
350
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:35,086
I'm not sure I follow... Oh, yeah.
He's g.I. Joe.
351
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,354
Mac can't sleep at night.
352
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,957
He's having erotic nightmares
and shit.
353
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,925
He doesn't know what's real anymore.
Yeah.
354
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,528
Mike's embarrassed about his
video game-playing, which makes
355
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,797
no sense to me, 'cause you know
what? Video games are hard.
356
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,799
You ever play fallujah?
Beat it five times.
357
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,201
You want to play with me? I'm actually
trying to get away from that.
358
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,770
Well, what if he paid you?
359
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,772
Ten bucks an hour. 20. Deal.
360
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:57,208
Wow. Really? Well, will you look at that?
Now we're getting somewhere, huh?
361
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,978
Yeah. That couldn't have happened
without your rock, could it?
362
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,146
Wait a second, frank.
What about me?
363
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,647
You're out.
Dishonorable discharge.
364
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:03,915
I'm sorry.
365
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,650
What is happening here?
366
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:06,785
Doesn't matter.
We're done with you.
367
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:06,786
Torrent downloaded by rarbg
368
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,153
yeah, we're good. Yeah.
369
00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:18,129
Hey, son. Dad?!
370
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,465
What are you doing here?
371
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:23,134
I broke out of jail
and came straight to see you.
372
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:27,405
Because you love me?
'Cause I'm gonna kill you, son.
373
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,140
Oh. Oh, no!
374
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,978
What...? What-what's happening?
375
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,914
When did I get here?
How long have I been asleep?
376
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,348
You got here, like,
five minutes ago.
377
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,017
You've been asleep
for 35 seconds.
378
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:40,652
Oh, Jesus Christ,
I'm-I'm losing my mind.
379
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,353
I mean, I'm actually going insane.
You know,
380
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,022
we're all having a little bit
of a hard time right now.
381
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,423
Yeah. But we got to
fight fire with fire,
382
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,825
and Charlie and I refuse
to be defeated by this.
383
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,359
We're gonna win this war.
384
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:51,663
What war? The war on women!
Women, man!
385
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,498
There's a war on women?
Can I get in on that?
386
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,833
Bro, it's been raging
387
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,301
since the beginning
of time, bro.
388
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,936
Oh. And we're losing ground.
389
00:13:57,938 --> 00:13:59,437
Phone!
390
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,839
Hello.
391
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,874
Ah, yeah.
392
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:05,109
Uh, yeah,
is youse daddy and the boy?
393
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:06,811
Uh, y-yes, it is. Boy speaking.
394
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,112
Oh.
395
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:11,850
Yeah. Uh, I hear youse
are re... rule good.
396
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,518
Well, yeah, that-that is true.
397
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,186
Well, I've got a party for you.
398
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,388
Um, daddy wants to speak with you.
Yeah.
399
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,958
Yeah, this is daddy.
What's-what's the gig?
400
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,827
Uh, yeah, a giant party.
Tons of sorority girls.
401
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,696
Sorority girls. Oh,
sorority girls. Nice.
402
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,398
Did you just lick your
hand? Yeah, that...
403
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,668
That sounds good. Um, listen,
a few new ground rules, though.
404
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,904
I'm a bad dad now. And, uh,
405
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,706
the boy's also gonna
be dancing with me.
406
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,708
Okay. Uh, whatever. Uh, uh...
407
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,743
Yeah, we need Mike. We need him.
408
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,145
Mike? Why do you want Mike, Dee?
What? You knew it was me?
409
00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:43,414
Of course I knew it was you.
Who else does accents so poorly?
410
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,750
The accents were terrible. The accents
were terrible. All right, look, I just...
411
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:47,552
I want him to have fun,
make a ton of money,
412
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,354
party with a bunch
of sorority girls, you know?
413
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:51,155
I need to show him
that this is a great life.
414
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,057
This is not a rock-bottom life.
415
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,759
We'll do it at paddy's.
It'll be a win-win.
416
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,995
Make a ton of mon... Mmm.
417
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:59,764
Yes. Okay.
418
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,566
What? Hello?
419
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,034
Goddamn it.
420
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:05,436
This is good. This
is... th-this is good.
421
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:07,939
Young girl sorority girls. It's,
like, age-appropriate for me,
422
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,108
you know? Not like those
perverted librarians.
423
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,677
Cougars. Whatever, man. Yeah.
424
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:14,712
And it's gonna be on our
home turf. Like, paddy's.
425
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,581
Whoa. And with Mike,
we'll be like a... Oh.
426
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:19,117
We'll be like an elite stripping
dance force, like a unit, man.
427
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,519
Dude, dude, dude, dude, we're gonna
look good, man. Yeah. Yeah, man.
428
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,922
We're gonna win this war. We're gonna win
this war on women. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, yeah.
429
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,357
You know what, Mac, maybe
we could use you after all.
430
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,928
He's asleep. Yeah, he's out.
431
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,137
It's amazing! I can't believe
they have zombies
432
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,405
on the final level!
433
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,740
I love zombies. Ghouls, too.
I love ghouls.
434
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:45,109
Right now, if we can just
make it to that second box
435
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,711
over there, we can grab
the all spark coin
436
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,079
and we can win the game.
437
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,747
Can win the game.
438
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:50,949
Can win the game.
439
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,483
Frank? Where are you, man?
440
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,719
I can't see.
441
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:55,954
Shit! Frank!
442
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,789
¶ ¶
443
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:03,094
frank. Frank.
444
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,095
Frank!
445
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:05,129
Frank!
446
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,832
Oh. What happened?
447
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:10,435
Where am I? Oh, you're in the back office.
You passed out
448
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:13,004
playing the game, dude. We dragged
you back here so you could sleep.
449
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:14,973
Oh, Mac.
I think I was too hard on you.
450
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,408
I think I got PTSD, too.
451
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,143
Oh, no. We don't have that. Huh?
452
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,812
Yeah, I actually slept about
ten hours last night, dude,
453
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,246
and I feel great.
454
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,782
I think we were just suffering
from sleep deprivation.
455
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,851
Well, where's Mike?
I want to finish the game.
456
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,619
Oh, we finished the game.
Yeah, like, right after
457
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,421
you passed out,
Mike and I just got in there.
458
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,523
Dude, it was awesome.
Do you want to do it again?
459
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,192
No, I don't want
to play anymore.
460
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:35,793
Well, where's Mike?
I'll do it with him.
461
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,261
He's out, too. Yeah, he's doing
462
00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:39,030
some weird stripping thing
with Dennis and Charlie.
463
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,265
I only woke you up 'cause
I figured you'd want to see it.
464
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:43,001
Yeah? Yeah.
465
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:52,543
I really appreciate
you getting me
466
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,845
this gig. I mean, truthfully,
467
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,013
I don't think I was ready
468
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,381
to give this lifestyle up.
469
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:57,982
Of course not. Why would you?
You're really good
470
00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:59,684
at dancing. That's nothing
to be ashamed of.
471
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,886
Listen, you like video games?
I got you paid for it.
472
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:04,455
You're a great stripper?
I got you this gig.
473
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,024
And you know what I'm gonna
do for you next? What?
474
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,859
I'm gonna reunite you
with your daughter.
475
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,494
Oh, man. Yep.
476
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:12,030
Look, I really appreciate
everything you've done.
477
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,665
It really, really means a lot to me.
Eh, well,
478
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,701
you just needed your rock.
479
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,203
Fire it up. Smell good? Everything poppin'?
All right. No, feels good.
480
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,072
I don't know. What do you think? You like
how it smells? Look good? It looks good.
481
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:23,074
And you can't see any of the blood.
It's all patched up good. Okay, good.
482
00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:25,209
What do you think about my prop, hmm?
That's really cool.
483
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,211
A little kid licking that up there.
Wait, what-what am I smelling?
484
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,013
Cheese. Yeah, yeah.
Is that made of cheese?
485
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:31,249
And then I painted the rest with, like,
magic marker and stuff. Oh, Christ.
486
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:32,884
Why did you make a cheese
lollipop? It stinks.
487
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,685
For-for my nerves. Yeah.
That smells horrible.
488
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,854
Oh, god. There's nothing sexy
about cheese. Put it away.
489
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:38,523
Ladies,
490
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:41,592
are we ready to party tonight?
491
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:44,662
So am I.
492
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:45,830
All right.
493
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:46,831
We're gonna see some skin
494
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,599
tonight. Yeah.
495
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:49,901
Scars and all.
496
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,069
This, actually,
is a real scar, too.
497
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,404
And I got a good story
behind that.
498
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,107
This is, uh... they took out
the kidney, actually,
499
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,109
from the fron... a chinaman.
And he did not know
500
00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,544
how to do it,
I'll tell you that much.
501
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,446
Cricket was a bad idea, huh?
502
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,347
Yeah, I know. But we needed
that, like, you know,
503
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:06,350
McConaughey emcee-type. Yeah.
But looks like we got
504
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,352
aids Dallas buyers club
McConaughey,
505
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:10,555
not magic Mike McConaughey.
That is what he looks like.
506
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,123
It's a good crowd, though. It's
a good crowd. He's... yeah.
507
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,724
All right, well...
508
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:15,059
That was the first time
that I really thought,
509
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:17,061
"hey, I might actually, uh...
510
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:21,165
I might die, and...
And no one's gonna remember."
511
00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:24,969
All right! Hey!
512
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,637
Let's, uh, keep it movin'.
513
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,106
Keepin' it real,
keepin' it sexy,
514
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:30,108
and takin' back the power,
515
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:33,144
let's give it up for daddy
and the boy!
516
00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:45,723
Hey, boy, let's have a catch.
517
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:46,991
¶ My child arrived ¶
518
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,159
over here, pop.
519
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,562
Hey. Good throw, son.
520
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:52,797
I love you, dad!
521
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,332
I love you, too, son. Oh?
522
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,000
And even though
I never even said it enough.
523
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:57,001
What is this?
524
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,002
I wasn't a good... shh!
525
00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:59,337
I wasn't a good father to you,
526
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,605
and-and I regret that now.
527
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:01,939
No, that's fine, because now
528
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:03,007
is our chance to connect.
529
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:04,108
This is super weird.
530
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:05,810
Hey! Shush, all right?
531
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,112
This is our thing. We have
the power. You don't talk.
532
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:09,347
All right, you know what, dad,
don't listen to them,
533
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:10,948
'cause we're gonna win this war.
534
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,250
This is not sexy!
535
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,317
Just take something off!
536
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,619
You know,
you take something off!
537
00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:16,587
All right, look,
it's too hot for baseball.
538
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,789
I'm gonna take my clothes off
now. I think.
539
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,292
Okay! Yeah, now we'll
take our clothes off.
540
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:23,161
Yeah!
541
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:25,530
Wait, wait, son, don't.
Don't. They're laughing.
542
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,598
Don't take your clothes off if
they're laughing. We have the power.
543
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,034
It's not a joke! It's not a
joke, all right? This is sexy.
544
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,004
Oh, stop, sto...
Oh, you know what?
545
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,639
You might want to check your
programs 'cause I'm bad dad now.
546
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,274
I'll take you
to your goddamn room.
547
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:39,177
I'll bend you over my knee.
Take your dicks out!
548
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:42,313
All right, listen to me. This is it,
this is what you were made for.
549
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:45,216
Now you get out there
and save the day, soldier.
550
00:19:48,153 --> 00:19:49,654
This is about a father and a son
551
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:52,223
- whose relation...
- Oh, come on!
552
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:55,293
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for...
553
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:56,527
Soldier boy Mike.
554
00:19:56,529 --> 00:20:00,031
¶ Everybody got 'em,
everybody got 'em ¶
555
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,967
¶ e-e-everybody got 'em,
e-e-everybody, everybody ¶
556
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,002
¶ everybody got 'em,
everybody got 'em ¶
557
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,205
¶ e-e-everybody got 'em ¶
558
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,207
¶ e-e-everybody, everybody ¶
559
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,342
¶ everybody got 'em,
everybody got 'em ¶
560
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:14,879
¶ e-e-everybody got 'em,
e-e-everybody, everybody ¶
561
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,881
¶ everybody got 'em,
everybody got 'em ¶
562
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,116
¶ e-e-everybody, every... ¶
563
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,202
dad?
564
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:39,203
Oh, Janie?
565
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:41,405
Oh! Your cock was in my face!
566
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,241
Oh, god, I didn't mean to!
I didn't mean to!
567
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:44,575
You're disgusting!
568
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,377
My finger touched your asshole!
569
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,280
Never talk to me again!
570
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,382
I got you!
571
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,884
I got you. I'm your rock bottom?
572
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,686
I'm your rock...
That's your rock bottom,
573
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:57,922
sticking your dick in your
daughter's face, you son of a bitch.
574
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,257
Why would you do that?!
Get out of here!
575
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,025
That's my daughter!
576
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:03,427
Oh.
577
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:04,729
Yes!
578
00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:08,232
- Wow.
- Jesus Christ.
579
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:10,434
Wow, Dee, that was dark. That's like
the darkest thing you've ever done.
580
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,736
You know what that was?
581
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:13,404
That was your rock bottom. Yeah.
582
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:15,072
Yeah. Hmm. Whatever.
583
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:17,275
Feel good. I don't
want to talk about it.
584
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:19,043
I don't want to talk about my thing.
You want to talk about your thing?
585
00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:21,445
No, no, let's not. You know what
we should do? Let's just, uh...
586
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,281
Let's just get drunk. Let's not
talk about trauma. Yeah, come on.
587
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:24,448
Or deal with any of that shit.
Woo.
588
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,050
Let's just have a good time
and get drunk, huh?
589
00:21:26,052 --> 00:21:27,451
Stuff it down with some brown.
590
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:33,090
¶ And the cat's in the cradle
and the silver spoon ¶
591
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:36,260
¶ little boy blue
and the man in the moon ¶
592
00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:39,263
¶ "when you coming home, dad?"
"I don't know when ¶
593
00:21:39,265 --> 00:21:42,400
¶ "but we'll get together then ¶
594
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:45,569
¶ you know we'll have
a good time then" ¶
595
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:47,638
¶ ¶
596
00:21:54,179 --> 00:21:56,681
¶ my son turned ten
just the other day ¶
597
00:21:56,683 --> 00:22:00,084
¶ he said, "thanks for the ball,
dad, come on, let's play ¶"
598
00:22:00,086 --> 00:22:02,820
¶ can you teach me to throw?"
I said, "not today..." ¶
599
00:22:11,596 --> 00:22:14,598
captioned by
media access group at wgbh
600
00:22:15,934 --> 00:22:17,435
who do girls want to have
sex with more than anybody?
601
00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:19,637
Jugglers. Ju...
602
00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:21,439
Dudes who can, like, juggle things.
I know what a juggler is.
603
00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:23,974
Sunny.
All new, wednesdays at 10:00.
604
00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:25,109
Only on fxx.
605
00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:33,351
I am a very dangerous man
606
00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:34,719
to know.
607
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:41,625
Taboo.
All new Tuesdays at 10:00 on fx.
608
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,799
Man seeking woman.
609
00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:50,968
All new, wednesdays at 10:30.
610
00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:52,636
Only on fxx.
611
00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:02,313
I had a little, uh, kung
pao chicken in my teeth.
612
00:23:02,315 --> 00:23:04,782
Was it alive?
613
00:23:06,752 --> 00:23:08,652
I look terrific now.
614
00:23:12,424 --> 00:23:14,225
So, is he crazy?
615
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:17,228
I think he believes
he's mentally ill.
616
00:23:17,230 --> 00:23:20,164
But at the same time,
part of him knows...
617
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:23,801
The power's real.
618
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:26,937
Legion.
619
00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:29,673
All new wednesdays at 10:00
on fx.
620
00:23:31,843 --> 00:23:34,412
Take an hour of his time.
621
00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:37,014
Wow. Look at Stan's yard.
622
00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:39,116
Someone's been busy.
623
00:23:39,118 --> 00:23:42,253
Clearly not in ours. Maybe
Henry can do some work today.
624
00:23:42,255 --> 00:23:44,355
Yeah.
625
00:23:44,357 --> 00:23:46,857
I forget your back is always
bad this time of year.
626
00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:48,492
Only when there are leaves...
627
00:23:52,697 --> 00:23:54,698
When did you wash this last?
47043
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