Original subtitles

What is hope?

It's a feeling of expectation,

a desire for something good to happen.

It can be something small and simple

or it can be something so big

that it changes your life forever.

But we all need it and we all have it.

I think we're all born with a natural ability to hope,

to dream, and to believe in something bigger than ourselves.

But then things happen, life gets hard.

If you're not careful and you don't protect it

you can lose your hope and without it

bad situations only get worse.

But if you can hold on to hope even in

the toughest storms eventually you'll find peace.

It's Michael.

Daddy can you play with me?

Hey Blake, yeah good to hear from you.

Did you get the paperwork I sent you?

Hey Dad, can I talk to you?

Perfect, how did it look?

Do you have any questions for me?

Great.

Michael come on, get off the phone.

Hey we're ready to launch on our side.

You're family needs you.

So whenever you guys

are ready let's get this thing done.

Philly, tomorrow?

Yeah yeah I can be there.

Dad can you please hang up?

I really need to talk to you.

Daddy?

Daddy?

- Yeah I'm fine.

I just had that dream again.

- Nevermind, just a dream.

- Michael honey it's almost midnight.

You need to get some serious sleep.

- I will, just give me like 15 more minutes okay.

- Michael you're a workaholic honey.

If I give you 15 more minutes you're gonna be

on that computer until three o'clock in the morning.

It's Saturday.

You didn't spend any time with me or the kids.

We don't know the difference between

your work week and the weekends anymore.

- Look I feel terrible, Maria--

- We don't want you to feel terrible.

We just want you around.

Alright dinner Landez's tomorrow.

- Oh yeah.

- Oh yeah and hey no cell phone tomorrow please.

- Promise.

I will I promise, got it.

- Alright.

- Goodnight.

- Goodnight, I love you.

Jamie I've noticed lately that you've been

hanging out with Liam a lot.

- I guess.

- It's alright he's a nice boy, I like him.

Are you two serious?

- No Mom we're just friends.

- Just friends okay okay that's great.

- Just give me a second.

- No put it away, away.

- This could be about the promotion.

You know I'm just glad

because I would much rather have you

hang out with Liam then with Rachel.

- Hey it's the Adams family.

That never gets old.

- Really, I think it would.

Come here buddy, how you doing buddy?

- I'm doing good.

- Still working on it.

- You'd better get it.

You're the most qualified for this position.

- I can't argue with that.

I have a meeting tomorrow with my boss

so we should find out.

- Well we'll be praying for God's will to be done.

Thank you.

- Hi Jamie, hey Graham.

You guys want to go shoot some hoops?

- Sure.

- See you buddy. - Bye sweety.

- Bye bye.

Those two right?

- We can pray for spouses.

- Absolutely.

- Oh let's do this okay.

- So anyway.

- Let's go check the grill.

- Great idea.

Hey Maria I have som awesome news.

What?

- Hey bud.

I'm so happy.

Nice job.

- You're father got the promotion.

- Well it means that your dad is

in control of a big part of the company.

I'll be dealing with some pretty major clients

and some pretty significant corporations.

I will have to work longer hours but I think

the vacation package makes it well worth it.

Not to mention the raise.

Oh hey which reminds me we're supposed to

get together with my boss and his wife

at their lake house Friday at 6:30.

I hear it's so gorgeous up there.

Okay Jamie I'm gonna need you home Friday

at three o'clock okay, you need to watch Graham.

- Mom you knew I was going to Rachel's party on Friday.

Number one I do not like you hanging out

with Rachel and you know it.

Her family let's her do whatever she wants.

And number two your responsibility is to this family first.

And when we need you, you need to be here.

- Whatever.

I never get to do anything in this dumb boring town.

- Yes.

- It's nothing.

- Come on sweetheart.

You want to tell me about it?

- I don't know, it's this promotion.

You're gone all the time whether it be work or business.

And when you're home you're either

on your phone or your computer.

And this town is so boring there's nothing to do here.

And my only friend is a bad influence.

I just hate sacrificing for everybody else.

- Hey I know how you feel.

But your mom and I, we also know that Rachel drinks.

And we know she really does make bad decisions.

Jamie she's just not the kind of influence

we want to have on your life.

You and mom drink all the time

and a little drinking doesn't hurt anybody.

- Okay this little attitude,

you know it doesn't fly with Mom

and it's not gonna fly with me.

You're gonna get grounded.

Jamie look we love you and we care about your future.

That's why we don't want you to hang out with Rachel.

Can you please try to understand?

- Fine, whatever.

- I guess.

- Okay.

Hey, I love you.

- I love you too.

- Hey I'm not so sure about my tie.

What do you think?

Should I switch?

You like this one?

- I think you need to stop stressing out about the dinner.

You don't have to dress up for your boss anymore.

Daddy.

- Hey buddy, I love that shirt.

You like golfing?

- Yeah.

How about we go to Fun Putt tomorrow

and celebrate my new job?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, alright.

Wait wait, I gotta get a picture.

- Let me get a picture of my guys.

Good job.

- Hey do you know where your sister is?

- No.

- No, well she's got to be somewhere.

So let's go find her okay.

Hey Jamie it's time to go.

Jamie?

Hey Jamie?

She isn't here.

- What do you mean she isn't here?

She's not here.

- She has to watch Graham tonight.

I'm gonna call her.

She's not picking up.

What?

- No.

- That girl.

I bet she snuck out and went to Rachel's house.

I'll call her mom.

Hi this is Maria Adams, Jamie's mom.

Is she at your house?

No?

Really?

No that's fine, that's fine.

No but if you do see her send her home, thanks.

Apparently Rachel told her parents

she was coming here tonight.

What?

- Yeah, so we don't know where either of these girls are.

- Give Judy a call and just see if we can bring Graham by.

Alright.

- We'll just deal with Jamie later.

Okay.

- Oh that girl.

- I just don't understand it.

It's like they think they can control my entire life.

Well I'm a grown woman now.

And I'm gonna decide from now on what I'm going to do.

- At least your parents care about you.

I got busted last week for taking my dad's whiskey.

All he did was make me pay for it.

They could care less if I was alive or dead.

- I wish my parents didn't care so much.

And it's like they even care anyways.

They just want me to do be a live in babysitter for Graham.

Here let me have some.

I don't need you puking on me again.

- It wasn't the beer, it was your face.

Yeah?

- My parents are gonna be gone the entire time.

Rob and his cousin are coming to stay.

You totally have to be there.

- Whoo!

- Yeah totally.

- Hey. - Hey buddy.

- Hi sweetheart.

How'd it go?

- It went good, he was good.

- Oh thank you thank you thank you.

I know it was last minute, I really appreciate it.

- Thanks so much Judy. - No problem.

- Have a goodnight.

- Bye hon.

- Jump in the car.

- Goodnight, drive safe you guys.

Ambulance one to Buraliard.

Buraliard, go ahead.

Buraliard we're in route, trauma XP.

We got a really young patient

ejected from a car, hit a tree.

CPR's currently in progress, nearly in completion.

Have not yet established his vitals,

we can secure it along the way.

I wouldn't have had to bury my son

if you'd just waited to answer your phone.

Say something.

Say something!

- No you don't get to put this on me!

Your work always come before us!

Graham would be here right now

if you didn't answer that phone!

- The message was from Jamie.

I was checking to see where our daughter was!

Why would you stop me, I'm not worth it?

Of course you are.

- You don't get it, it's my fault.

All of this is my fault.

- It's not your fault Jamie.

It's not, it's painful but not your fault.

- My parents can't stand to look at me.

My best friend wants to drink her life away.

And you, you deserve so much better than garbage like me.

- You're not garbage Jamie, and you're not worth this.

You're going through something

no one should ever have to go through.

But you have someone who loves you desperately

and is constantly pursuing you.

- Who could want me after all I've done?

All I did to my family?

- Jesus.

Liam, I know the whole church thing works for you.

But here in real life where real things happen

there's no Jesus there to help.

- Look I don't doesn't seem like much help

but I promise you Jesus loves you

even when it seems like no one else does.

- How can he love me after all I've done?

- I don't have all the answers

and there's still a lot I don't understand.

But I know who does and I know who to ask.

If you come to church with me tonight

I'm sure my youth pastor can help

with some of your questions.

- I don't know.

I don't think it's really for me.

- Just give it a chance, you'll be fine.

- Fine.

- You must understand that your value

does not come from what you have.

It doesn't come from what you have done,

nor what your friends say about you or your family.

Your value comes from God.

Now have any of you ever sold something?

- Yeah I sold my phone to Luke.

- Yeah and it broke.

- 100 bucks.

- Okay so Jacob placed a value on that phone.

And Luke had to pay that value

in order to claim that phone as his.

Well the same goes for you.

You see God placed a value on you.

And he wanted to claim you as his own.

So he then purchased you with his son's life.

You see you are God's creation.

You are a masterpiece.

You're value comes from God through Jesus Christ.

It's through Jesus that you have been saved.

Through Jesus that you have been made new.

All of your past, your faults and your failures

they have all been forgiven.

You have been set free in Christ,

freedom from your old self and your past.

See Galatians 3:29 it tells us that

sense we belong to Christ we are now his heirs,

and that God's promise to Abraham belongs to us.

Our value comes from this.

We are heirs to Christ.

We are his people, his family, we are his.

When you accept Christ into your life

you become a part of his family

and all else falls away and you inherit the kingdom of God.

If you have ever wondered if you have value

or if you are worth something,

when you accept Christ into your life

you become a part of God's royal family.

That is where your value lies.

That is where your worth lies.

That's awesome, hey let me know what he says to that.

- Alright.

- Hey I'll see you next week.

- See ya.

- Liam, hey how's basketball going?

- It's going pretty good.

Gonna make varsity?

- If I keep practicing I might but I brought Jamie today.

- Jamie, Liam's told me so much about you.

Do you have a minute?

- Sure.

- Come, sit with me.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

How are you holding up?

- Fine I guess.

- I understand it's difficult to see

what God has planned for us in times like these.

And it's far more difficult to understand how

anything good can come from something like this.

- How can he allow something like this to happen?

Isn't he supposed to love us?

- Oh he does, he does love us.

In fact it's in times like these that we

experience his love on even a much deeper level.

You see God knows the pain you are going through.

And he's walking with you during this time.

You're not alone.

Take tonight for example.

You could be doing anything else.

But your here, why?

- Well because Liam invited me.

- Yes true but why did he invite you?

What was happening when he asked you to come?

What could you have done that God stopped you from doing?

You see what I mean?

There is a plan for you.

Your life is precious and it has a purpose.

I have nothing to offer.

- That is a great place to be.

You see far too many people think

that they have to have something to offer to God.

But in reality there is nothing

that comes even close to being worthy.

Only his son Jesus Christ is worthy.

But Jesus died for you so that when God looks upon you

he sees what Jesus did for you

and not what you have to offer.

You see Jesus changes your worth and your value.

Listen Jamie next week our group is going to a youth camp.

It's gonna be four days where you can

spend time with others who are walking

through this life just like you are

and wondering the same questions like you.

You know it's gonna be a lot of fun,

there's gonna be a band, food,

and I happen to have an open spot if you'd like to come.

- I don't know it seems nice and all.

I just don't think it's really for me.

- Just think about it.

We leave Wednesday morning we come back on Sunday.

Okay I'll think about it.

- Michael, you gonna be in here all day again tomorrow?

Because Jamie needs her dad and I need a husband.

It would be nice if you could join us again.

Where were you?

- We were at church.

- Church won't change what you did.

- I'm not trying to change what I did.

I'm trying to change who I am.

Maybe you should too.

Oh hey.

- Liam go home.

- Look she didn't do anything she just came to--

- Go home.

Yeah I'm fine.

See you later.

- You know where I was.

- I need to hear you say it.

- I was with Rachel okay.

We were at the old bridge. I'm sorry.

- You've ruined this family.

Are you even gonna help me with this?

I can not do this anymore!

I can't even look at you.

- I thought we had a deal.

For 25 years I've given you everything.

You were not supposed to give me more than I can handle.

I know I'm not perfect.

But I'm trying to be good.

I'm trying to do what's right.

How much more do you want?

How much more can I give you?

How much more will you take?

My son.

My wife.

What's next?

Is my life a game to you?

Then count me out.

Please.

I don't want to play anymore.

Please I'm done.

I'm done.

I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.

No more please no more.

Please.

No more, no more.

- I'm going to Liam's.

Are you okay?

- Of course, everything's okay.

- No Jamie I'm sorry he's at

open gym this morning practicing.

He should be home in a few minutes.

Would you like to come in and wait?

- Yeah sure.

So Liam tells me that you

might go to youth camp next week.

- I don't know.

It seems fun but I'm not sure if it's really for me.

- I understand.

New things can be frightening.

So tell me how are things going at home?

We have been praying for your family.

- It's been difficult but we'll be fine.

- How are your parents handling things?

I know it can be very hard to lose a child.

- Yeah, they're okay.

- Well I want you to know that

we're here for you if you ever need anything.

And you can let your parents know that too.

- Thanks.

- Perhaps you could all come for dinner tomorrow night.

- I doubt that will happen.

- It's awful okay.

Dad lays around all day and mom,

I think she's leaving us and it's all my fault.

- No it isn't sweety.

Sometimes bad things happen.

There's nothing that we can do to change that.

You'll get through this I promise.

- I can't go home.

I can't just keep pretending that everything is okay.

- It's alright, it's gonna be alright.

Mom I'm home.

- Hi sweety.

- Hey.

Hey Jamie.

Whoo, pancakes.

What are you doing here?

- I just needed to get out of the house for a little bit.

- Well you couldn't have gone anyplace better,

especially with my moms pancakes.

Mom, I'm gonna go take a shower.

I'll be out in a minute.

- Does he always shower with your pancakes?

- Not normally, it must have been

a rough practice this morning.

Well Jamie I can make you two promises.

Number one our door is always open to you.

And number two if ever need anyone to talk with

I'll be there.

- Thanks Mrs. Landez.

It really means a lot to me that I have a safe place.

You know what?

- I think I might go to that camp next week.

- Oh wonderful, oh you're gonna love it.

They'll be so much to do, and they'll be

many other young ladies for you to get to know.

Oh you're gonna have a blast.

- Yeah, it'll be nice to get out of

the house for a little while anyways.

- Alright sweet, I'll tell my youth pastor.

It's gonna be a blast.

- I don't know about this.

I don't know anybody here going.

- You'll be fine, just have fun.

- Hi I'm Rebecca.

- Hey Rebecca this is Jamie,

it's her first time coming to camp.

Liam is always talking about you.

- Yep he goes on and on.

Glad he finally brought you.

We were beginning to wonder if you were real.

- If she was real, real funny Rebecca.

- It's nice to finally meat Liam's girlfriend.

Oh and hey I found out we're gonna be in the same bunk.

We're gonna have a blast, bye.

- Well I never really said girlfriend you know just

your my girl friend, friend that's a girl you know?

Anyways I'm sure you and Rebecca will

be good friends by the end of camp.

- Yeah she seems nice but what about this girlfriend thing?

- Alright guys let's go, load up.

I'm not bothered by the way.

- That you told people I'm your girlfriend.

- I don't, I mean wait, you're okay with it?

- Well, I.

- Well I'd be happy to be your girlfriend Liam.

All you had to do was ask.

- Wait, so she wasn't your girlfriend?

- Nope, but she is now.

- It's about time.

♪ You look at me in the eyes

♪ And tell me your not satisfied

♪ With the way that you have lived your life

♪ You can't run and you can't hide

♪ You've failed time and time again

♪ Hating God but loved your sin

♪ You can't find the love your heart craves for

♪ But if you let Christ come in

♪ Oh it's amazing he never gave up on me

♪ Everything changed the moment that I believed

♪ Let's make this night unforgettable

♪ So unforgettable

♪ Let's make this night unforgettable

♪ Let me rock the boat yeah

♪ Like freedom I'm about to flow

♪ If these guys can talk then let them know

♪ That we made this night unforgettable

♪ When brokenness consumed my life

♪ And emptiness I could not deny

♪ There was a peace that kept on passing by

♪ My hope I found in Christ

♪ I was dead without a sign of life

♪ Heart was beating but dead inside

♪ I found the one I was longing for

♪ His name is Jesus Christ Christ Christ

♪ Oh it's amazing he never gave up on me

♪ Everything changed the moment that I believed

♪ Let's make this night unforgettable

♪ So unforgettable

♪ Let's make this night unforgettable

♪ Let me rock the boat yeah

♪ Like freedom I'm about to flow

♪ If these guys can talk then let them know

♪ That we made this night unforgettable

♪ Let's make this night night

♪ Unforgettable

♪ So unforgettable

♪ Let's make this night unforgettable

♪ Let me rock the boat yeah

♪ Like freedom I'm about to flow

♪ If these guys can talk then let them know

♪ That we made this night unforgettable

♪ Unforgettable

♪ Let's make this night unforgettable

What do you think of camp so far Jamie?

- It's been pretty fun.

I really enjoyed the glow in the dark dodge ball

even though I ran into some girls.

- Yeah that can happen.

- Well it was pretty dark

and we were going for the same ball.

I guess we really didn't notice each other and splat.

I still have a bruise on my head.

- Oh my gosh that is so funny.

- So what's something that you girls need prayer for?

I really feel like we should be praying for each other.

- Well my grandma, she's having surgery next week,

and it's kinda serious.

- We think or dog may die soon.

He's really old and everyone is really attached to him.

Murphy.

What do you need prayer for?

- Oh nothing really.

- Come on there has to be something.

How about for better lunch tomorrow.

- Well I mean my parents could use some prayers.

I think they're splitting up.

- I'm really sorry to hear that.

Divorce can be very hard to deal with.

When my parents got divorced it was a nightmare.

They couldn't even be in the same room.

It was like they fought just to make sure

they stayed mad enough to get divorced.

Sometimes they didn't even have anything to fight about.

I'm still not sure why they got divorced.

- I won't have to wonder why

my parents are getting a divorced.

- A little while ago my little brother

died in a car accident.

I think my mom blames my dad, and my dad blames mom.

They don't even talk.

They're ignoring each other and I just wish

they would be strong for each other and strong for me.

- I'm really sorry Jamie.

We'll pray that God brings your family back together.

Daddy I pray for Jamie and her family

I ask that you'd do whatever you must

to bring her family back together.

Give Jamie strength to endure the road ahead

and your peace so she knows you love her

and that you're with her.

And Daddy if they don't know you

I ask that you help them to know you

and that you give them peace for the days ahead.

Hey can I ask you something?

- Sure anything.

- You prayed to Daddy.

I thought you were supposed to pray to God.

- Yeah well here's the thing.

God, he is our father.

Like he made all things and he made me.

But there's more to it than that.

God sent his son to Earth to show us a new way of life.

They way we were intended to live through Jesus Christ.

But he knew that the only way

to bring us home was to die for us.

- So God sends his son to Earth as a human.

He lives and dies for us but how do you

go from that to calling him your daddy?

- That's the best part.

He died for us so that we could be

presented blameless before the father,

and that when we accept him as the atonement for our sins

we became a sister to Jesus and a daughter of The King.

But God gives us something more than that.

He gives us himself so that we can become his family

and his children, and he is one awesome daddy.

- But I failed him, just like I failed my dad.

I can never live up to him as his daughter.

- Jamie do you know what grace is?

You've done things, things that deserve punishment.

We all have.

We make stupid decisions and we miss the mark.

Grace is when we deserve a punishment

but the judge let's us off.

Grace is the love that exists even when we fail.

- I wish I had that now.

It's my fault my brother's dead.

How can he forgive me?

If I had just listened to my parents

Graham would still be alive.

- Jamie God loves you and he wants you to know that.

What happened with your brother, it's been forgiven.

You just have to accept it.

God's given you grace now, you just have to take it.

- I want that.

I want to be more than just this.

How do I get it?

- Just pray with me.

- Jamie come on, time to get up.

I'm really sorry, Jamie are you okay?

- You're bleeding like really bad.

Did I hit your nose?

- No you hit my ear.

What do I do?

- Go get a leader now!

- Kara hurry.

- Go!

Are you okay?

- Are you sure you're gonna be okay?

- Yeah I told you it was just a nosebleed I'm fine.

- Alright.

- Hey thanks for inviting me, it was fun.

- Yeah it was, well see you tomorrow Jamie.

- Yeah.

I'm so sick of it!

You're not the only one affected

by Graham's death around here?

- You're the one laying around the house all day long!

You haven't said anything to Jamie!

You don't say two words to me!

I'm doing it all by myself Michael!

- Have you seen the way you look at me?

I'm not the only one who's checked out!

- Michael I'm giving it my everything just to exist!

It's not enough though is it?

It's never enough, I'm not enough for you.

- Here we go.

It's always about you.

- Maybe I should go.

- Well maybe you should.

Get out of here!

- Jamie sweetheart we are dealing with something.

Just go to your room.

Please just go to your room.

- So things get hard and you want to leave.

Things get a little difficult and you want to run away.

Really?

- You're turn.

- Jamie you're so young.

You cannot understand what we're going through.

Your father and I have tried but it's just,

I think it's best I go.

- No I don't think you understand.

I need my parents.

I can't go through this alone.

So figure it out.

I've been texting you all week.

- I've been busy, sorry.

- Whatever, let's go.

Go where?

- Hello, the best weekend of your life dummy.

- I can't, not right now.

- Yeah right, let's go.

- I'm sorry I have to go.

- I'm sorry Graham, so sorry.

It's my fault.

It's all my fault.

You died because of me and now mom and dad are separating.

Why didn't I just stay home?

I'm so sorry Graham.

I'm sorry.

- I thought you needed a friend.

Do your parents know?

- That's why my mom's leaving.

- It's not your fault Jamie.

You can't blame yourself.

You have to hold on.

- Hope.

What is that?

Jamie?

Jamie, Jamie.

- Yeah yeah.

- Angry, why do you think I'm angry?

Who could I be angry at?

- You.

- I'm sorry I left you Graham.

- It's okay I forgive you.

You need to let go.

- It's not okay, I'm sorry Graham.

- Let go.

Let go.

You need to let go.

Jamie, Jamie.

Jamie.

- Jamie, hey Jamie.

- Graham.

Graham.

Graham.

Where's Graham, where'd he go?

- Hey hey hey hey, hey hey hey.

It's gonna be okay alright Jamie.

We're here for you.

Where are we?

- We're in the hospital sweety.

- Honey we don't know but we're gonna find out.

- It's gonna be okay.

- Michael, Maria.

Hi.

- Okay so, so what'd you find out?

- The results from the MRI aren't what we were hoping for.

Unfortunately, Jamie's gonna require some intensive care.

- I'm afraid it's more complicated than that Michael.

Jamie has a form of cancer called Hodgkin lymphoma.

I mean seriously, that's not possible.

She's a healthy kid I mean she is never sick Paul.

- This form of cancer often shows very few symptoms.

Fever, night sweats, coughing, nose bleeds,

flu like symptoms that are often overlooked.

- But we caught it fast enough right?

I mean it's curable, we can fix it right?

- I only wish it was that simple.

It is treatable but we didn't catch it early.

The cancer is in the fourth stage and has moved into

the cerebral spinal fluid around her brain.

- Paul are you telling me I'm going to lose my little girl?

- Our insurance policy requires me to

prepare you for the worst case scenario.

So as our doctor my answer is yes.

But I'm a man of faith.

And we've known each other for years.

So as your friend my answer is

never lose hope, never.

I've seen a lot of miracles in this place.

God is very much alive.

And he's more than able to heal your daughter.

When people lose hope bad situations only get worse.

Your family has a rough journey ahead of you.

My recommendation in times like this is Romans 12:12.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation,

be constant in prayer.

I mean I get that I have cancer

but I didn't show any symptoms

so it can't be that bad right?

- That's not exactly true.

The doctor said that

you're stage four with Hodgkin's lymphoma.

- And it shows very few signs as it's progressing.

It's like you had the flu or a bad cold

over the development of the cancer.

- So it is bad.

- Cancer's never good baby.

We're gonna beat this okay?

Look with the medicine they have now

I mean we'll find you a treatment that will work.

Jamie, you will be fine.

- Hi Michael.

How's Jamie?

Liam.

- Whoa, you should visit a hospital more often.

- Liam.

- I was just kidding.

- No it's okay, I'm just really happy to see you guys.

Do you want to go outside?

- Yeah let's go.

So what's going on?

What's with the nosebleeds?

- I have cancer.

Seriously?

- Yeah seriously.

- Well they must have caught it early then right?

- I don't know, mom and dad never said.

But I mean it can't be good because

I have more tests next week so.

- Well it can't be that bad.

I mean the nosebleeds just started.

And shoot I have nosebleeds all winter long.

- I think we're talking about different kinds of nosebleeds.

- Yeah that's true.

I don't bleed on people.

- Liam that's disgusting.

- What you did.

- Yeah I'm sorry about that.

- That's okay, I'm just glad I was there when it happened.

What if I wasn't?

- Yeah, no it could have been bad.

- Yeah it could have been bad.

I guess that makes me your hero.

- My hero, how could I ever repay you?

- I mean a thank you's fine.

I'd be okay with a thank you.

Too soon?

- Yeah a little bit.

- I'm good.

I mean okay, just day by day.

- Good.

How about Michael, how's he holding up?

- He's pretty quiet lately.

- I understand.

Jon was very disconnected when we lost our daughter.

- We'd been married a few years.

We wanted a child desperately.

We found out it was a girl we were thrilled.

We were all outside on a Saturday.

It was a beautiful day.

It was hard, very hard.

It took, it took a along time for me to stop blaming Jon.

Just found it easier to deal with

if I could point the finger at someone else.

- I understand how easy it is to blame, I do.

- It was the hardest thing our family had ever gone through.

But thank God we made it.

- How do you come back from something like that?

- The only reason we're still together

is because of a very kind lady who introduced us to hope.

- So Hope was like a counselor to you?

- No no, hope.

- So what did she tell you that helped you?

- She told me three things will last forever

faith, hope, and love and the greatest

of these is love, the love God has for us.

We find hope when we have faith that God love us.

It is his in his love we have hope.

- I'm sorry Lanae but how is God showing his love?

He took McKennah, he's taken my Graham.

- I know it's hard to grasp.

And I don't have the answer as to why these things happen.

But I do know we have the choice to choose.

Are you gonna have faith that God loves you?

If so hope comes.

If not hopelessness.

- I want to have hope but he's taken my son,

my daughter is sick.

How do I do this?

- I know the anger and hurt are very strong right now.

You're dealing with a loss and now Jamie.

- There is, there's a lot of anger yes.

- The hardest thing for me was looking at Jon.

Every time I thought things were getting better

I'd remember it all.

- Lanae I, I hate that I think this but I,

I just hate him.

And how do I come back from that?

- You can, it does take time.

But Maria you need to be focused on Jamie right now.

She needs you both.

- I know.

I'm falling apart and I...

I don't know how to do this.

I do not have the strength to hold this all together.

- You're right you don't have that kind of strength.

And you'll only exhaust yourself

trying to pretend that you're okay.

- When I was little I remember

climbing this big tree in our front yard.

I completely lost track of time and it got dark.

When I was coming down I realized that

I couldn't quite reach the ground.

So I'm hanging there on a branch

so afraid to let go because

I couldn't tell how far away the ground was.

And I can remember screaming for my mom to come help me.

She finally heard me from inside the house.

It felt like I was hanging there for hours.

I'm sure it was only seconds.

But when my mom came out she wouldn't help me.

I can remember crying so hard

that it became difficult to breathe.

She just stood there telling me softly to let go.

Can you imagine how that felt?

I mean I was terrified and exhausted

and she was right there and wouldn't help

no matter how much I pleaded for her to save me.

Did that mean that my mom didn't love me?

- No no, we have to teach our kids to trust us.

- Yeah but at the time I thought for sure she was

just gonna let me hang there until I fell to my death.

- We think silly things when we're kids.

- Yeah and be so certain of things

that we won't listen to those who love us

and can see the bigger picture.

- Okay.

So I know he's my father.

And I know I'm supposed to have hope.

And that he loves me and my family.

I don't know what I'm supposed to be learning.

- We're just to close to the situation to see God's plan.

Look the loss of Graham and McKennah are horrific situations

but God is already using the loss

of my daughter in allowing me to sit here

and let you know that you're not alone.

I don't know how God is gonna use the loss of Graham.

But I have faith that God loves you enough

and that if you have faith and trust in him

that you will have hope.

And in that hope you will find the strength

to get through this situation with Jamie.

- I want that hope I do.

- You are only ever two steps from hope.

Step one recognize that the hope

you need comes from trusting God.

And step two let go of the branch.

- Okay.

Thank you.

So how are you holding up?

- Not good.

- I know it's hard.

First Graham and now...

I'm losing everything else?

- I just meant I know it's hard.

No one wants you to go through this.

You're not gonna lose anything.

Jamie is gonna be fine.

- None of us are fine Jon.

My family's falling apart

and there's nothing I can do to fix it!

Maria's leaving.

She's just checked out man and ever since Graham.

And now all of this--

- You know Mike she's upset.

Maria's not gonna walk out on you.

She's a fighter.

- Yeah.

She is a fighter.

But unfortunately I'm the one she's fighting now.

And I used to be her hero.

She used to look at me to solve all of her problems.

And I miss that look.

I miss the light in her eyes and her smile.

I miss her.

She's gone man, she's just gone.

Jamie is all, all I have.

- Look I know as guys we try to fix everything.

That's how we're wired.

But sometimes we need a little help.

Can I ask you when is the last time

that you prayed about this?

- I haven't prayed, not since Graham.

- God and I had a deal.

I go to church, I pray, I do all the things

that I'm supposed to do to be a good person,

and in return he protects me,

he doesn't let stuff like this happen.

- So you cut a deal with God.

Was he aware of it because I'm pretty sure

I've never read in the word that God

cuts side deals for us to have a perfect life,

no matter how good you and I are.

He promises to be there with us through the storms.

- Where was he in the storm that night?

He was right there with Graham.

And he's right here with you.

- If he was there and if he let Graham die

then he's not a God I can trust.

It's time I run my own life.

And take care of my daughter.

I lost Graham, I lost Maria but I will not lose Jamie.

- You are not everyone's savior Michael, Jesus is.

You need to learn to let go.

You need to learn to trust God.

Until you do, you're never gonna have that peace.

You've got to let this go and trust God.

Daddy.

Daddy.

Daddy.

Daddy.

Daddy.

Hey sweety.

Daddy.

Hey hey hey, it's okay baby.

- Please don't leave me.

- Sweetheart I'm not gonna leave you.

And Daddy please don't leave my parents.

Please don't let them be alone.

Don't let them fall apart please Daddy.

Make them love each other again please.

Oww!

Daddy, Daddy!

- Call 911.

Go!

Daddy.

- Mommy's right here.

Jamie, Jamie please.

Baby I'm right here.

Jamie.

I need the two of you to stay back.

- No!

Let go of her!

Ma'am stay back.

- Please, Jamie I'm here!

- You're no use to your daughter right now

so let us do our jobs, stay back.

- No!

Jamie I'm right here!

- Please don't.

Please don't do this.

I deserve to be sick not Jamie.

I shouldn't have said what I said.

I didn't mean it.

Even when I said it.

I am nothing without you.

Please forgive me.

Tell me what I gotta do.

Please.

What do I need to do to save my baby girl?

Tell me I will do it.

Say what you need to say.

I deserve it.

- You do.

You deserve to hear me say I'm so sorry.

It's not your fault, it was mine.

I didn't buckle him in.

- Maria no.

- No.

- No even if--

- I need to say it please.

When I was in the ambulance with Graham

looking at him he was in so much pain.

All I could think about,

how did I not buckle the seatbelt?

I'm his mom.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

I couldn't talk to you about it

because I thought if I admitted how I felt

that you would hate me and I couldn't handle that Michael.

So I just blamed you and I blamed Jamie and I blamed God.

Everybody but myself.

I just became so empty the more I pushed you away.

Michael how do I get back?

I don't know how I get back.

I thought you'd be better off without me.

- No.

No.

Don't you ever believe that for a moment.

Maria when I said I do I meant forever.

All that is good, all that is bad.

I would never hate you.

Do you understand that?

You would never have to do anything to earn my...

to earn my love.

Oh God I'm so sorry for thinking

that I needed to earn yours.

- Michael, Maria she doesn't have much time.

- Hey sweetheart.

Baby can you hear me?

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you.

You needed me and I was gone.

Please forgive me.

I would do anything, anything

if I could trade places with you now.

Are you in pain?

Can you squeeze my hand?

Use your teddy, squeeze my hand.

I was so angry that I forgot to tell you you're so amazing.

Graham was the luckiest brother

to have you as his big sister.

I did not deserve you.

I'm so sorry forgive me sweetheart please.

Please don't leave us, please.

- Hey.

And Jamie

there was something

we used to do when you were a little girl

together as a family.

We'd come in your room and

take your little hands and

and we would pray together before you'd go to sleep.

I would like to do that one more time as a family together.

Dear God,

Father,

I don't know really know what to say.

But no more games, no more deals.

I give you all of me, everything.

I just want you to know how thankful I am

for Graham,

for Jamie, for my wife.

I'm so grateful for every memory

that we've had together as a family.

You're a good God

and I trust you with my little girl.

I trust you.

Take care of our little baby.

Another interesting thing about hope,

about prayer, about believing for a miracle

is that God knows what we need even before we ask for it.

And sometimes when things seem to be at there very worst,

and there seems to be no hope,

if we surrender our situation to God,

put it in his hands,

and put our trust completely in him,

we find that even before we ask

the answer to our prayers is already on the way.

Mom, Dad?