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You want me to open the doors?

Here. The keys. Take them.

Why you talking?

No! No, no, no...

Gambling destroyed my life.

Me, my family, everything I loved.

It was like a robbery,
only I was the thief.

It's amazing the stories you tell
yourself to justify it.

The lies that lead you
to just one more hand, one more spin...

...one more roll of the dice.

This is our deal, okay? Marie, no.

You guys are not lifting a finger.
I mean it.

Yeah, we're bringing everything. So...
This is not up for debate, okay?

Great.

Sweetie, don't worry. We're not
gonna say one word about the bills.

We just wanna bring everyone
up to speed.

All right, I'll see you soon. Bye.

So...

Tonight's the night. No turning back.

Well...

Okay. Let's do this.

Okay. So first, I assign point values.

Correlate to the effect of removal.

- You're gonna split the eights?
- Skyler, please.

Now, the mathematical principle
known as the Kelly Criterion...

...upon which I devised
my own strategy...

Not dissimilar to the MIT system...

Walt, you're not teaching them.

- You wanted me to be thorough.
- Play. You're taking too long.

You don't think it behooves me
to be able to explain any of this?

It behooves you to be a pro, that's all.
That's the fiction. So, chop-chop.

Don't chop-chop me.

Now, we both know
that the first decision...

...is whether or not to split
or to surrender.

On eights. Split them.

Good on both.

Next decision is whether
to double down or not.

- Which you should be doing.
- On an 11, yes. Double.

Okay, this hand over here,
we have a soft 18.

The final decision is whether or not
to hit or to stand. Hit it.

- Becomes a hard 15.
- Dealer has a nine.

I see that.

Hit it.

Okay, let's see what I got.

And 21.

- Damn.
- Yup.

Okay, the key thing to remember here
is that it's not about any one hand.

The key is the number of hands
per hour.

Let's go again.

Zero, minus one, 0.6.

Okay.

- Walt.
- It's not as if I don't know how to play.

I certainly more than understand
how to count cards.

Let's just keep going.

No, you know what?
I'm in recovery, remember?

I shouldn't even be playing.

And that is the fiction
that we should be sticking to.

You know what?

You're right. Yeah.

Okay.
We're not leaving anything to chance.

All right. Let's get started.
Got a lot of...

- Walt. we got a lot of ground to cover.
- What is this?

We have to get our story straight.
We've gotta be on the same page.

- A script?
- Bullet points.

Bullet points? We got a novella.

This is smart. You really wanna try
to sell a DEA agent some...

...full-of-holes story
about how we suddenly...

...have enough money
to buy a car wash?

- Am I supposed to memorize this?
- We need to practice.

- We need to be word-perfect.
- Within reason.

We need this story to be solid...

...and sympathetic
and, most of all, completely believable.

The story that you already told Marie.

You think that she hasn't told Hank?

Come on, this is Marie
we're talking about here.

No, she hasn't. She hasn't.

Hank thinks his insurance is paying
for everything.

Marie's not telling him
we are paying his therapy bills.

- And neither are we.
- And why is that again?

- Really?
- If we have the gambling story...?

Did you take money, Walt?
You remember Gretchen and Elliot?

I seem to recall that
you'd rather sell drugs than take help.

- Fine.
- Marie will tell Hank in her own time.

And at least we'll have laid
the groundwork.

And coming clean with Hank
and Juni...

Appearing to come clean
will be the best thing for everyone.

We talked about this.

- Okay? We agreed about this.
- Yes, we did. it's just...

What?

Never mind. Just...

Okay. So I really think we should
tag team the narrative, okay?

We'll each be responsible for certain
portions of the story and then we can...

We can hand off so we don't leave
anything out, and it'll seem natural.

Okay. So I'm gonna launch
with the exciting news...

...that we are buying a car wash.

The next logical question
Hank will probably ask is:

"Where are you getting the money?"
To which I'll say:

We wanna tell you the whole story.
It's a doozy...

...so hold onto your hats.

Do you like that?

Sure.

It accomplishes two things. it keeps
it light while letting them know...

...to expect something big.

Yeah. No. it's a doozy.

Okay. Anyway, that's where you will
take over, starting with your diagnosis.

Pages one and two. Okay. And it's...

it's pretty much gonna run parallel
to the truth, which makes it easier.

But just make sure
to really hit the cancer.

Really touch on the fear and despair.

It's good to remind them
and to get their sympathy.

We want them to understand why
you could do something so stupid.

Now, after that, per pages three
and four, after you say:

"Gambling became an addiction
and I just couldn't control it."

- Do you see that?
- Yes.

In the middle. Okay.

I put in that line about robbery,
from the GA meeting. That was good.

So next, I'll chime in about how
it affected our marriage...

...starting with the confusion, the
deceit, why we couldn't tell anyone...

I'm terribly, terribly ashamed
of my actions.

- Yeah.
- Two "terribly" s?

- It's to show contrition.
- Well, I just wouldn't use that word.

I would never say
the word "terribly."

Phrase it however you want. Okay?
You're jumping ahead. Now...

And why...?
And why am I so ashamed?

Do I really need to answer that?

I was, and am,
providing for our family.

- Let's just pick up where we left off.
- I'm weak, I'm out of control.

This makes me look like crap.

This has to be a warts-and-all story.

That's how we'll sell it.
We both look bad.

How do you look bad exactly?

Where is the "I slept with my boss"
bullet point?

I can't seem to find that anywhere.

For a fired schoolteacher
who cooks crystal meth...

...I'd say you're coming out
pretty much ahead.

I don't like it.
I don't want Junior thinking less of me.

At least you won at gambling. I'm the
bitch mom who wouldn't cut you slack.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry
that I put you through all of this.

How's that sound?

Two "sorry" s.

I believe we were on page five.

So after you say how very sorry you
are, in your own words, of course...

...we're almost to the end.

And then I say how proud I am of you
for joining a 12-step program.

And this is where I think we should
enact how we're feeling, you know?

Just a suggestion. You might
look down at the floor with remorse.

What? You don't have to mean it.

You just stare down at your feet,
Walt, okay?

Then I'm gonna...

I was thinking of taking Marie's hand
and saying something emotional like:

it's such a relief to tell you.

We're glad we have a strong family
to help us.

That we can all support each other.
And then maybe I'll tear up a little.

I don't know. We'll just have to see
what happens in the moment.

You're gonna cry on cue?

- I said, I don't know. Maybe.
- When you dab your eyes...

...you gonna do it
with your right hand or your left?

- One tear? Two tears? How many?
- This has to be convincing.

Especially to Hank.
I'm doing the best I can here, walt.

And yes, I'm thorough.

Maybe lying doesn't come
as easily to me as it does to you.

- Guys! Come on in! Hi!
- Hey.

- Good to see you!
- Hey.

- Hey, you little punk! Hey.
- Hey.

- Great to see you.
- How you doing?

Look at my little princess.
She's getting big.

- Yeah. And heavy too.
- Is that actual food I'm smelling?

I might get an
honest-to-God meal here?

- You look good.
- Thank you, sweetheart.

Your Aunt Marie, she's cute,
but she could burn water.

You are so hilarious.
Show the boys your rock collection.

- We're gonna get organized.
- It'll be 20 minutes.

- You have a rock collection?
- It's a mineral collection.

Just something I've...
You wanna see it?

- Sure.
- All right. Let's go see it.

- Oh, hey, let me...
- Hey, no. I... l got it.

Come on, guys. it's down the hall here.

Now, that one there, that's rhodonite.
Okay? it's manganese inosilicate.

Cool. What makes it be
all pink like that?

Well, that's the manganese part. Okay?
It oxidizes, you know, like rust.

Manganese can have
an oxidation state...

...of between minus-three
and plus-seven...

...which takes it through a range
of colors. Purple, green, blue.

But its most stable state is plus-two,
which is usually pale pink.

So...

Exactly. Whatever the hell he said.
Anyway, you get the idea.

Yeah, it's interesting.
Interesting stuff, that. Really.

Oh, hey. Yeah, give me that.

Give me that file, will you?
You gotta check this out.

I've been working on something here.
I'm doing a little consulting.

You know, weighing in on a case
for A.P.D.

Put that in for me.
Put that in over there.

Hank, what is this?
It's not a dead body?

Oh, no, no, no. Nothing like that.
No.

Seriously, you guys
you gotta check this out.

This is good. Ready?
Let me get it going here.

Look at this guy.

Look at...

Oh, man.
You can't make this stuff up.

Who is this?

That, my friends, is Albuquerque's
public enemy number one.

It's such a relief to finally tell you.

We're just so glad that we have
a strong family to help us through this.

That we can all support each other.

Jesus. I don't even know where to...
Holy shit.

Yeah.

Walter H. White.

Man of hidden talents.

Dad, you're such a stud.
How much did you win exactly?

- Dad?
- I don't think I have exact figures.

It's enough to... After taxes, of course,
to buy the car wash.

Maybe even pay for...

...a couple of halfway reasonable
college educations.

Damn, Dad, why'd you quit?

I can totally get a car
for my birthday now, right?

Son, I'm terribly, terribly
ashamed of my actions.

Would you excuse me, please?
I need to use the restroom.

Walt?

Hey!

Sorry.

- Thought you might have fallen in.
- No, no, I just...

Hey, man, that was some big stuff
back there.

No, we wanted to be thorough, so...

Yeah, well, it was quite a tale. Couldn't
have been easy to, you know...

...talk about.

You know, Walt, if you...

You can always bend my ear, right?
I mean, if you ever need to talk...

...or just blow off some steam,
I'm here.

Not going anywhere, so...

Thanks, Hank.

Same goes for me, you know. if you
ever wanna bounce anything off me...

...I don't know, casework,
anything, really.

Sometimes just talking
something through...

...you know,
really can make a difference.

We're definitely not talking bathtub
crank here. This is a big-ass operation.

You know, hundreds of pounds a week.
Maybe more.

So who is this person?
What do you know about him?

Other than he's deader
than a Texas salad bar...

...and has a decent set of pipes?

- I'd say he's my guy.
- Your guy?

There's this mystery man I've been
chasing for the better part of a year.

Cooks the purest meth that me
or anyone else has ever seen.

Goes by the name of Heisenberg.

Yeah. Pretty weird, huh?

I looked him up. it was one of these
physic... One of Hitler's guys.

You know, a physicist named
Werner Heisenberg. Real cute, huh?

I figure with a handle like that,
my guy's gotta be some sort of...

Some sort of an egghead. No offense.

And here we go.
Gale "Major Tom" Boetticher.

Anyway, I just wanna see if I'm,
you know...

...not barking up the wrong tree,
chemically speaking.

As far as I can make out, he's writing
about a phenylacetone cook, right?

- Yeah.
- Yeah. That's pretty rare these days...

...but it does jibe
with the blue stuff I've been tracking.

"Two sticks dairy-free soy margarine,
two-third cup turbinado sugar."

it's a recipe for vegan s'mores.
There's all kinds of crazy crap in there.

Yeah, like, you know,
top-ten recumbent bicycles...

...indoor composting tips.

All right next to the mother
of methamphetamine syntheses.

This guy was a...
Man, he was a real character.

Yeah, he seems unique.

Yeah. Let me show you something.
Give it here.

Right here at the...
Right here at the top it says:

"To W.w.
My star, my perfect silence."

W.W.

I mean, who do you figure that is?

Woodrow Wilson?

Willy Wonka?

Walter White?

You got me.

W.W.

Wait a minute. Let me see this...

...for a second,
because I think I remembered...

Here.

Yes.

Yeah.

"When I Heard
the Learn'd Astronomer."

Learned.

And from time to time
Look'd up in perfect silence at the stars.

It's a poem by Walt whitman.

Your w.W.

You freaking brainiac.

I must have skipped that day
in school or something.

I been chasing my tail about that one.
Bet you're right.

- Well, I'm glad I could be of help.
- Yeah.

Walt Whitman.

So you think this Gale person
is your Heisenberg?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

God, I wanted to get this guy.

It looks like you did.

No, I mean, you know, me personally,
you know?

I wanted to be the one to slap
the handcuffs on him, that kind of shit.

Popeye Doyle waving to Frog One.

If I recall, at least from the first
French Connection...

...Popeye Doyle never actually
caught him.

Yeah, I guess me
and old Popeye, huh?

Day late and a dollar short.

- What about the person who killed him?
- A.P.D.'s problem, not mine.

- Any leads?
- My buddy Tim says...

...they got some fingerprints
they're trying to lD.

Eyewitness saw a person of interest.
Might get lucky there.

Somebody knows something.
They'll track the shooter eventually.

Jesse.

What's up?

I need to talk to you.

Okay.

Now.

Go ahead.

Would you stop doing
what you're doing, please?

I'm not done, yo.
And that dude's next.

- What the hell? what is wrong...?
- We have business to discuss.

So discuss. Jesus.

Let go of me.

Gale's murder is being investigated.

And I have it on good authority that
they found fingerprints at the scene.

Not mine.

- We done here?
- No, we are not done here.

What if they are yours?
How can you be so sure?

Because I'm here. Your brother-in-law's
got such a hard-on for me...

...if the cops found my fingerprints...

if the cops found my prints
within five blocks of that place...

...they would've picked me up
by now.

What about the casing?

- Oh, my God.
- Or casings?

How many times
did you shoot him, anyway?

Jesse, did you pick up the casings?

Did you pick them up?

No.

Yeah, well...

Listen, we gotta go over this
step-by-step, everything.

Tell me exactly what happened
from the moment you got there.

- I got in, I got out.
- No.

No, I need to know specifics.
Now, we'll start from the beginning.

You drove there. You drove over there.
You went to his door, right?

Jesse, I need you to concentrate.

This is very important.
Did you knock or ring?

Knock or ring?

Knock.

Good, good. That's very good.
Now, listen.

Assume that Gale answered the door.
What happened after that?

Did he recognize you?

Did you say anything to each other?

Did you walk into the room or did you
shoot him right then and there?

What?

- Who wants to make a hundred bucks?
- Yeah.

Look, the kid's probably right.

If they had anything on him,
he'd be locked up already.

What about my brother-in-law?
He suspects Jess...

Hell, he knows Jesse is involved
in the sale of blue meth.

That was Hank's one-and-only lead.
What if he puts two and two together...

...and he goes after Jesse
for the murder?

Goes after him how,
on his Rascal scooter?

That perhaps sounded insensitive.

But if he goes after him,
I'll sue his ass for police brutality...

...harassment,
assault and 16 other things.

No, history those two have together,
being what it is...

...gotta figure your brother-in-law's
smart enough not to go down that road.

Goose egg. Bubkes.
That's what the cops got.

I wouldn't worry about it.

Yeah, what else should I
not worry about, Saul?

Should I not worry that Gus plans to
murder me at the first chance he gets?

That my drug-addicted partner doesn't
seem to care whether he lives or dies?

You should see his house.
It's like skid row.

He has actual hobos living there.

Now, how long before Gus decides
that he's too big of a risk?

Jeez, I got Mike,
that grunting, dead-eyed cretin...

...sucker-punching me in the face.
I've got Gus wielding a box cutter.

I mean, Western Union,
message received.

Let me ask you.
When did this stop being a business?

Why am I the only person capable
of behaving in a professional manner?

No, any way you slice it,
everyone is in danger.

I mean, how can I protect anyone?

My family, Jesse, myself?

My name never comes up
with those guys, does it?

And meanwhile, we're buying
this stupid car wash.

Oh, yeah.
That ship has sailed, bon voyage.

We are committed.
We already told our family about it.

And now Skyler,
I'm sure she believes...

She needs to believe
that everything is neat and tidy.

And she's telling herself that
I work in this nice, quiet little lab...

...with a white lab coat
and a pocket protector...

...and when my contract is up,
I'll just simply hang it all up...

...tip my hat and walk away.

Oh, God.

How did everything
get so screwed up?

Yeah, you do have a little
shit-creek action happening.

You know, FYl,
you can buy a paddle.

This is a last-resort,
back-pocket kind of thing...

...but if you really gotta protect
yourself, disappear...

There's a guy who can make it happen.
They call him a "dissapearer."

For a substantial fee,
and I do mean substantial...

...you and your loved ones can vanish.
Untraceable.

I mean, he sets you up
with a whole new life.

What, like a witness protection
kind of thing?

Beyond. I mean, off the grid.

New identities, new everything.
No one would ever be able to trace you.

Now, be clear. This is an end game,
if you get my meaning.

I mean, there's no coming back.

So you want his card?

God, there's gotta be something else
that I can do.

Some way to keep everything
from spiraling out of control.

Well, from what you told me...

...it sounds like Pinkman is first up
in the imminent-demise department.

Gus won't risk
letting the police find Jesse.

I know him. He won't.

I'm not kidding. if you really
think about it, you can't even see it.

How can you know how bad
radio frequencies, microwaves...

...and cell phones are getting you?

You could be strolling
through security at the airport...

Hey, wake up, bitches.

You get waved through a full-body
x-ray scanner.

Next day, you could be dead or dying
from all the radiation they say is safe.

But there's no way it could be.
It has to deliver a concentrated dose.

Enough to penetrate clothes.

The accumulated amount could be
dangerous to susceptible individuals...

- ...especially from a rural area.
- Yo.

The ozone layer is already thin
because of the cow farts.

- Yo!
- Oh, hey.

Make sure there's pizza here
when I get back.

- All right? Enough for everybody.
- Oh, yeah.

I can do that. I can definitely do that.

Not a problem.
I can get the stuff, the pizza and stuff.

But as far as the financial situation,
you know...

- Just hang on. Hang on.
- Yeah, yeah.

And you know,
the concentrated doses...

...it's gonna fuck with your bone
marrow and it's gonna mess up...

Because... Because especially
if you have cancer.

You know, because if you gotta get
a bone-marrow transplant...

...your odds are 60 percent.
You got a 60 percent chan...

Hey.

Hey, hey.

Get some dipping sticks too, yo.

Yeah, I can definitely get
dipping sticks.

All right. I can get them.

Hey, smoke it up, bitches.

Gotcha!

Wake up.

What's up?

What's up with your ear?

Downstairs. Now.

Where is everybody?

I invited your guests to leave.

Know who this is?

- Nope.
- You ought to.

He's been at your house
for three solid days.

Okay.

He stole your money.

Okay.

That $78,000 or so look familiar?

- This is it?
- That's it.

Okay. Thanks.

Wanna know what's next for
Little Miss Pissed-in-His-Pants?

- No.
- You sure, now?

- Yep.
- Don't even wanna take a wild guess?

You're gonna kill him.

Is this the part where
I'm supposed to beg you not to do it?

Oh, please, please.

And then what?

I'm supposed to promise,
cross my heart...

...to straighten up and fly right
or toe the line...

...or some other crap
that I'm not gonna say?

Is that what your little show here
was all about?

You're on thin ice, you little shithead.
You know that?

You ain't gonna smoke
that dude in there.

You know how come I know?

Because you went through the trouble
of putting a blindfold on him.

I'm going back to bed.

Let yourselves out.

I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

- How's the ear?
- Mending.

What can I do for you?

It's Pinkman.

He's become increasingly incautious.

He's a risk. A liability.

I know he and Walter come as a team
and that Walter won't like it...

...but something's gotta be done.

You gotta be kidding.

Hey, it's me. Wait for the thing.

Right.
This is message number three.

You'd better be ready in two minutes,
because I am right outside your door.

Jesse.

Jesse!

Damn it.

Hey, it's me. Wait for the thing.

Oh, great.

Jesse!

This is perfect.

You are a piece of work,
you know that?

Jesse?

Jesse.

Jesse?

Hey, it's me. Wait for the thing.

Where is he?

Gonna ask where we're going?

Nope.

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