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翻译：醉芝士

校对：醉芝士

时间轴：penny

后期：鱼骨头

伯赛特 动作快点 Burset. Clearing out, man.

你在做什么 What the fuck you doing?

队长让我记录损失情况 Cap wanted me to document the damage.

你得去看看客厅里真熊猫大小的玩具 You got to check out this life-sized fucking panda bear

烧了一半 they got in the living room, half-burnt.

塑料眼睛被烧熔了一只 It's got one melted, plastic eye.

我带你去看 Come on. I’ll show you.

我对她说 So, I say to her,

你是我这个月救的第三个怀孕的女生 "You're the third pregnant girl I've rescued this month."

她说 我没有怀孕啊 She goes, "But I’m not pregnant."

我说 你还没被救啊 And I go, "You're not rescued yet."

伯赛特 你去哪里 Hey, Burset, where the fuck you going?

上厕所 Gotta drain the hose.

还记得养猫的那个哭得很惨的男人吗 Anyway, remember the fucking crying guy with the cat?

记得吗 Remember him?

我一直跟他说 猫不在房子里 I kept telling him the cat wasn't in the house.

他不停地说 "我要进去" He just keeps saying, "I got to go back in."

现在可以领取清洗的衣物 Laundry is now available for pickup.

死变态 拔毛到厕所去 You sick fuck. Do that in the bathroom.

老娘有癌症 I got cancer.

他可以这样看着我们吗 Is he allowed to watch us like that?

黄胡吗 Pornstache?

他向来想怎样就怎样 He does whatever he wants.

总有一天 And one of these days,

你得换内裤 查普曼 you're gonna have to change your panties, Chapman.

慢慢也就习惯了 That shit's got to be getting ripe.

看啊 Look at this!

我让索菲娅帮我做驳发 I asked Sophia to do my roots.

她说要等上两个星期 She says there's a two-week waiting list.

我才不会让有老二的那个人妖碰我的头发 I wouldn't let that he-she touch my hair with a ten-foot pole.

也许我哪天狗屎运像罗莎一样 Well, hey, maybe I'll get lucky and go bald everywhere

除了乳头长毛 其它地方都是秃的 but in the tits like Rosa.

索菲娅的老二现在是洞了 And Sophia’s pole is a hole now.

沃森 布雷斯那翰 迪亚茨 Watson, Bresnahan, and Diaz,

到辅导师那里报到 分配床铺 report to your counselor for your bunk assignments.

沃森 布雷斯那翰 迪亚茨 Watson, Bresnahan, and Diaz.

终于等到了 Finally.

你分到床铺了吗 Wait, you got assigned?

真他的见鬼 This is bullshit.

我连禁闭都关过了 You know, I did my time in SHU.

他们到底要我陪 How much longer they gonna keep me in here

黑武士和光头清洁先生住多久 with Darth Vader and Mr. Clean?

你去死 Fuck you.

为什么我还没有分配床铺 Why didn't I get assigned?

他们可能分她去了拉丁裔区 They're probably sending her to Spanish Harlem.

可能会把你分到白人区 They're gonna put you in the suburbs with the other white people.

他们如何选择室友 So, how do they choose your roommate?

什么意思 Why?

你怕和你的前女友住一间吗 You afraid your gonna end up with your rocka-lezzie girlfriend?

贱人 别想插队 没看到这么多人排吗 Bitch, don't be cutting. There's a line here.

我上厕所 小便而已 可以吗 Um, for the toilet? I just need to pee. Can I pee?

去吧 孩子 Go pee, kid.

水最好够热 This better be hot.

如果再让我看到下水道口有一堆头发 If I find another clump of hair in the drain,

老娘会很不爽 there's gonna be trouble.

老天 对不起 Oh! Geez! I'm sorry.

没事 亲爱的 看到也没关系 That's okay, honey. You can look.

我可是花了大价钱做的 I spent a lot of money for it.

去吧 到你了 Go ahead. It's all yours.

没事 我等等好了 That's okay. I think I’ll just wait.

那你可有得等了 You're gonna be waiting a long time now.

她在跟魔鬼说话 She's talking to the devil.

我听懂了 Yeah, I got that part.

那是魔鬼的隔间 That's Satan’s stall.

至少魔鬼隔间有扇门 At least Satan gets a door.

也就一周时间 Give it a week.

你就会大胆地在我们面前小便放屁了 You'll be pissing and farting with the rest of us.

你还不能在物资部买东西吗 Your commissary ain't come in yet?

应该是的 Oh, I- I think so. My, um-

我到明天才能买东西 my I.D. number doesn't shop till tomorrow.

你最好祈祷有你要的东西 You better hope they got what you need.

三个月没有深色粉底了 They ain't had powder foundation in dark for three months.

我可不能白着脸在这里乱晃 I can't be walking around here with "white face" on.

但这种卫生巾拖鞋可不够潮哦 But those sad-pad shower shoes are not gonna save you.

你需要这样的 You need some of these.

我自己做的 算得上高级订制了 I made my own. Couture.

物资部没有十三号的拖鞋 Commissary don't carry a size thirteen.

这是胶带做的吗 Is that duct tape?

现在非常流行这种金属粒质感的 Metallics are very in this season.

上厕所别憋太久了 Don't hold your big bathroom too long.

监狱里的食物不好消化 Prison food stops you right up.

能拉的时候就尽量拉出来 You got to get it out while you can.

如果你不想洗澡排队 If you want to skip that shower line,

就早上或下午五点来 这是我的小秘密 do the five A.M. or the five P.M. That's my secret.

你为什么跟我说这些 Why are you telling me all of this?

因为我剪了你的头发 'Cause I fucked up your hair.

你现在是一头鸡窝 That shit looks broke.

你拿到钱后 来我的沙龙一趟 When your commissary comes in, swing by the salon.

我会帮你打理好 I'll fix it right up for you.

好的 谢谢 Okay. Thank you.

别羞羞答答的 亲爱的 这里是你的家 There's no point in playing shy, baby. You're home.

真是浪费了啊 Now, that's a fucking waste right there.

黑人妞却长了个白人妞的屁股 Black girl with a white girl's booty.

还有什么意思呢 I mean, what's the point?

看仔细这个 兄弟 样子很正点 Watch out for this one, man. She looks real good.

但只要张开嘴 Then she opens her mouth,

满口格格巫一样的烂牙 and she's got those snaggly fucking gargamel teeth.

该死的毒虫婆娘 Fucking meth heads, man!

那边一位 绝对是与众不同 伙计 Now, that right there, that's a whole different species, my friend.

喂 伯赛特 Hey! Burset!

过来 Come over here.

闻一下 Smell that.

觉得香吗 That smell good to you?

麦当劳的吗 Mickey D's?

你多久没吃这个了 How long's it been since you had one of these?

很久了 Long time.

想来一点儿吗 Do you want some?

你这是让我吃吗 You offering me a taste?

你可以就着我的老二尝尝 You can suck it out of my dick.

我的早餐三明治里不喜欢加香肠 I don't do sausage on my breakfast sandwich.

你在教导官监控室做什么 What the fuck are you doing inside the C.O. bubble?

你踩过线了 伯赛特 Your foot's over the line, Burset.

你最好滚回去 否则我就开枪了 You better get back, before I give you a shot.

这娘儿们很有个性啊 Shit is wild, right?

捉摸不透 Freaky.

真是个怪人 Freaky deaky. Freaktown.

人造阴道 上起来一定爽死了 Cyborg pussy. I bet it's fucking perfect.

你别说你好这口 Don't tell me you'd hit that.

我生活在监狱里 并不代表我是老古董 I live in the present, not in the past.

而且 她以前长着老二 Besides, she used to have a dick,

所以她知道男人的喜好 so she knows what it likes.

你们在伊拉克怎么解决性需求 What’d you guys do about pussy in Iraq anyway?

上过骆驼吗 Did you fuck camels?

我在阿富汗服役 I was in Afghanistan.

不能靠近骆驼 You don't go anywhere near the camels

有时候当地人会把炸药绑在骆驼上 cause sometimes they strap them up with explosives

赶骆驼跑进营地里 and they run them in the camp and...

如果和当地的女生做爱 If you try to have sex with the girls there,

村民会用石头把她们活活砸死 their village throws rocks at them till they die,

所以不太可能有性爱 so there's not a lot going on.

而且女人都包得像养蜂人一样 Plus, they're all dressed like beekeepers.

偶尔会有俄国妓女来 Occasionally, a Russian hooker comes through,

但那些女人既下流又爱哭 but those girls are nasty and they cry a lot.

这些女犯人都想要我 本尼特 All these offenders want a piece of me, Bennett.

知道为什么吗 You know why?

都是该死的荷尔蒙闹的 It's the fucking pheromones, man.

把她们这样关得太久了 You get them all locked up like this for a long time,

她们就会对男性气息渴望得要命 and they get this prehistoric yearning for man-stink.

她们都恨死我 They just- they fucking hate my guts, you know?

但她们情不自禁想要我 But they can't help themselves.

我是个臭男人 她们就是喜欢 I'm musty, and they love it.

你不会真的 You don't really --

什么 上她们吗 What? Fuck'em?

当然不会 那是破坏规矩的 Hell, no. That's against the rules.

我告诉你 小家伙 I'll tell you what, grasshopper.

有些婊子为了半支烟就愿意为你口交 Some of these bitches would suck it for half a cigarette.

吞口水 抬舌头 Swallow. Lift your tongue.

好了 走吧 Okay. Move on.

布莱克 Black.

和食物一起吃 不用检查了 Take these with food. No check.

给我的是黄色药片 Ooh, you got me on the yellow ones.

我喜欢这个 I like the yellow ones.

吃这个瘦了十磅 Lost ten pounds on the yellow ones.

但是我长了很严重的疹子 But gave me that horrible rash on my coot--

不关我的事 伯赛特 Not my problem. Burset.

这是什么 这不是我的药 What are those? Those aren't my pills.

现在是了 整个监狱都用普通药了 They are now. Whole prison is going generic.

剂量是多少 What's the dose?

0.5毫克 Uh, point five milligrams.

不够 我需要4毫克 They ain't enough. I need four of those.

表格上说是多少就是多少 I do what the chart says.

你不能改变我的剂量 You can't just change my dose.

去找你的辅导师谈 好吗 Talk to your counselor, okay?

法托维奇 Fatovich.

说下名字 小姑娘 You got a name, girl?

这是你的床 那两个是你的挂钩 That's your bed. Those two are your hooks.

这里和你之前待的地方不同 This ain't like the projects in here.

我这里有规矩 不能整天睡 看着心烦 I got rules. No sleeping all day 'cause it's depressing.

自己的东西要收拾好 Clean up after yourself.

如果地板脏了 我的地板脏了 If I find a mess on this floor, my floor,

我可不会客气 you're gonna hear about it.

吃的密封好 And keep your food sealed

我可不想老鼠蟑螂 because I don't need chipmunks or roaches in here

来这里吃杯面 trying to get their cup o'noodles on,

而且那东西臭气熏天 plus that poor excuse for food stinks to high heaven --

任何时候我想睡就睡 老太婆 I sleep whenever I want, old lady.

我不知道你从哪个穷乡僻壤的小国家来的 And I don't know what busted-ass country you come from,

这里是美国 but this is America.

如果我要吃面 And if I want noodles,

我就会吃 I'll eat noodles.

现在从你的地板上给我闪一边儿去 Now, back off across your floor before

免得我闹出你不喜欢的乱子 I make you that mess you hate so much.

是时候脱下这身橙色了 查普曼 Time to peel that orange, Chapman.

你正式成为我们的一员了 You're one of us now.

正式的一员 正式的一员 One of us. One of us.

九号半对吗 Nine and a half, right?

十号 Ten.

你又喜欢男人后 脚肿了吗 Did your feet swell when you went back to boys?

去死 Fuck you.

你不能更换犯人的药物 You can't just change people's meds.

中年妇女排长龙向我投诉血压药 I got a line of golden girls complaining about blood-pressure pills.

监狱里一半人都在吃抗抑郁药 Half this prison's on antidepressants.

你不给她们吃左洛复 她们会发疯的 You take away their Zoloft, they're gonna go off the rails.

会闹得天翻地覆 我的世界天翻地覆 Monumentally bad! Monumental pain in my ass!

你天翻地覆 我还烦着换供应商 裁员 Your ass? I'm juggling vendor changes, staff reductions.

瞧我 喝杯咖啡还要自己付钱 Look at me. I'm paying for my own coffee here.

有个变性人一直在我门口为她的激素药大吵 I've got a tranny camped out in my hallway yelling about her hormones.

他不会有事的 她没事 老天 He can suck it up. She. Jesus.

她会成为我们的大麻烦 She could be a major headache for us.

我们只需要给她足够的剂量维持 We are only required to give her enough to maintain.

这是联邦法律 如果他想做美娇娘 It is a federal system. If he wanted to keep his girlish figure,

他就不应该坐牢 he should have stayed out of jail.

怎么会有男人放弃做男人 Why would anyone ever give up being a man?

这就像是赢了大奖 又把彩票退回去了 I-it's like winning the lottery and giving the ticket back.

宝贝 Hello, baby!

你瞧你都流汗了 Look at you getting your sweat on.

你真是明艳照人 我打赌你闻起来不臭 You look all shiny. I bet you- you don't even smell funky.

妈的 我就知道你不臭 Oh, shit. I knew you wouldn't.

你是个真正的女人 查普曼 Hey, you’re a real woman, Chapman,

真正成熟的女人 a real, grown woman.

和这里其他的女人不一样 And not like all these other girls around here.

我可不愿为那些蠢婆娘浪费时间 I can't waste my time with these silly bitches.

我需要一个真正的女人 I need a real woman.

我相信你会找到的 I'm sure that you'll find one.

我写了首诗 要听吗 I wrote a poem. You want to hear it?

不用了吧 You know that's fine.

在我认识你之前 Before I met you,

太阳像颗黄色的葡萄 the sun was like a yellow grape.

现在 看起来像是天上的火焰 But now, it look like fire in the sky.

为什么呢 Why?

因为你点燃了我内心的火焰 Because you light a fire inside me.

我为你写的 I wrote it for you.

我的未婚夫是位作家 You know, my fiance is a writer.

我打算叫你蒲公英 I'm gonna call you dandelion

它们既美丽又是黄色的[金发] 和你一样 'cause they're pretty and yellow, just like you.

大家出去 快 Everybody out! Let's go!

失陪了 Oh- oh, excuse.

出什么事了 What's going on?

封闭这一带 Locking up the track.

为什么 Why?

预算减少 没有警力看守 Budget cuts. No staff to cover it.

但是 我必须跑步 But I- I have- I have to run.

这是唯一让我觉得还是正常人的事 This is the only thing that makes me feel normal.

你们得找其它地方放风了 Y'all gonna have to do your swirl someplace else.

放风 Swirl?

巧克力香草甜筒 Chocolate and vanilla swirl.

甜筒 Swirl.

总之就是 监狱无法再提供高档激素 The bottom line is that the prison can no longer provide high-end hormones.

如果我不吃药 If I don't get my medication,

我会出现戒药不适 潮热 I’m going through withdrawal, hot flashes,

盗汗 我的脸会松弛 night sweats. My face will sag.

体毛又会长出来 My body hair will start to grow back.

不用说得这么详细 Okay, we don't need to get into it.

我来给你解释下 Let me explain this for you.

我的阴茎分成两半反向时 When my penis was split in half and inverted,

我的睾丸也被切除了 my testes were removed,

所以我不再有睾丸素来替代 so I don't have any testosterone left

-你们剥夺走的雌性激素 -好了 - to replace the estrogen that you're taking away from me! - Okay. Okay!

你要我怎么做 What do you want from me?

我要见医生 I want to see a doctor.

只有急诊才能去医院 You can't go to the clinic unless it's an emergency.

这就是急诊 This is an emergency.

我们不这样认为 Yeah, well, we don't see it that way.

还有事吗 Was there something else?

有 Yes.

我要看急诊 I'd like to report an emergency.

老天 新室友满嘴规矩狗屁的 Man, new bunky is trying to lay down all these rules and shit.

这个放这里 那个放那里 "Dis go here. Dat go there.

擦屁股就要这样擦 This how you be wiping your bunghole."

你分了床铺了吗 你在哪个宿舍 Wait, you got assigned? What dorm are you in?

姐们儿 别惹火了克劳黛女士 Yo, girl, be careful messing with Miss Claudette.

那女人厉害着呢 That woman is no joke.

怎么样 难不成她还会用巫术诅咒我吗 What? Is she gonna put a voodoo curse on me?

这个小岛贱人是个控制狂 Island bitch got control issues.

传言说她杀了人 Word is she killed someone.

所以服刑时间才这么长 That's why she doing so much time.

这个我也相信 Yeah, I believe it, too.

你看她的眼睛 就知道她见过厉害场面 You look in her eyes, you know she's seen some shit.

我才不怕她 I'm not scared of her.

你应该怕 You should be.

我听说她在号子里 I hear when she was down the hill,

朝室友脸上泼了盆沸水 she threw a pot of boiling water in her bunky's face,

眼皮都烫掉了 burned her eyelids off.

那女人变得人不像人鬼不像鬼了 She be looking like Beetlejuice and shit.

怎么样 冲我来啊 So? Let her come at me.

有种来啊 Yo, come on, now.

她就会知道惹到谁了 She'll see what she be messing with.

别这样 她十年未见访客 No, the lady ain't taken a visitor in ten years

因为她不愿意接受脱光搜身 'cause she won't do strip search.

而且她坐牢这么久 没有大便过 And she ain't dookied the whole time she been locked up.

-少来了 -我说真的 - Come on. - No, I'm serious.

这太扯了 That's crazy.

真的 没人见过她用厕所隔间 No, for reals. No one's ever seen her use the stalls.

这是真的 她不上大号 That's the truth. She don't poop.

她的屁股可能被巫术咒语堵住了 She probably got a voodoo spell stopping up her butt.

真够坚强的 That's some steel right there.

继续往前走 Keep the line moving.

物资部恢复护翼卫生巾的供应 Maxi pads with wings are back in the commissary.

中班情况 晚上九点半查房 Swing shift go detail. P.M. cell check at twenty-one thirty hours.

我给红妈按摩脚才有饭吃 四十五分钟啊 I had to rub Red's feet for this. Forty-five minutes.

你不能坐这里 You can't sit there.

你要摆这张臭脸到什么时候 How long you gonna do this?

我们都生活在这里 必须接受对方 We both live here. We have to deal with each other.

不用 No, we don't.

我整个刑期都不想见到你 I plan on spending my entire sentence avoiding you.

别纠结过去了 Get over it.

我们都犯法了 都被抓了 We did some illegal shit, and we both got caught.

你偷走了我的人生 You stole my life.

你偷走了我离开你之后创造的美好人生 You stole my good life that I made after you.

离我远一点 Stay the fuck away from me.

女士们 培训项目一小时后开始 Ladies, in-house programs will begin in one hour.

有麻烦吗 Is there a problem here?

没有 No.

你烦着我的朋友了吗 You bothering my friend here?

蒲公英 她烦着你了吗 Dandelion, she bothering you?

没有 我们只是在讲话 No. We were just talking.

对 她烦着我了 Yeah. She is bothering me.

你赶紧闪人 她不喜欢和你说话 Then you need to be on your way 'cause she don't like talking to you,

一点也不喜欢 not one bit.

你开什么玩笑 Are you kidding me?

快滚 婊子 Move, bitch!

这是我老婆 This is my wife here,

-你赶紧滚 -不 我不是你的... - so you need to step - Oh, oh, no. I'm not actually your

姐会灭了你 姐会灭了你 婊子 I will cut you! I will cut you, bitch!

别逼我灭了你 Don't make me cut you!

姐会要你的命 婊子 你不知道姐的厉害 I am gonna fuck you up! Bitch, you don't know me!

冷静 冷静 Take it easy. Take it easy.

没事 我们没事 It's- it’s all right. We all good.

我不是你老婆 I'm not your wife.

我为你馅饼都扔了 I threw my pie for you.

你吞下的头 三到五天就会排出体外 The head should pass through your body in three to five days.

除非你出现呕吐或严重抽搐 Unless you start vomiting or have severe cramping,

最好的方法就是自然的身体排泄 it's best just to let the body eliminate this on its own.

我得把它拉出来吗 I'm gonna have to shit it out?

进了食道后 If it made it down your esophagus,

就得把剩下的路走完了 it should travel the rest of the way.

如果一周还未排出 我们会考虑手术 If it doesn't pass in a week, we'll consider surgery.

请注意你的粪便 Pay close attention to your stool.

我觉得拉出来我会知道的 I don't think I could miss it.

我得把你放在自杀倾向名单上 I'm going to have to put you on suicide watch.

什么 为什么 What? Why?

吞东西是很严重的事 We take swallowers very seriously.

你真觉得我要自杀的话 You really think I would have eaten a bobblehead

会吞摇头娃娃吗 if I wanted to kill myself?

医生 我需要足够剂量的药物 Listen, Doc, I need my dosage.

为了做女人 我付出了五年时间 I've given five years, eighty thousand dollars

八万美金以及自由 and my freedom for this.

我终于做了我应该做的人 I'm finally who I’m supposed to be.

你明白吗 我不能回到过去 Do you understand? I can't go back.

我也想帮你 Look, I'd like to help you.

遗憾的是 谷草转氨酶与谷丙转氨酶 Unfortunately, you have elevated levels of A.S.T.

指数偏高 and A.L.T.,

有可能意味着肝损伤 which could mean liver damage.

瞎说 什么可能都有 Th- that's bullshit. That could mean anything.

我们会完全断掉你的激素药 We're gonna take you off your hormones entirely

直到我们安排超声波检查 得到正确结果 until we can schedule an ultrasound, get a clean read.

这可能要几个月 But that could take months.

我可以给你抗抑郁药 I can offer you an antidepressant.

我等不急了 可以睁开眼睛了吗 I can't take it. Can I open them?

好了 睁眼吧 All righty. Open them.

我的天 Oh, my God.

好看还是难看 Good or bad?

不好看 Not good.

你像个少女明星似的 衣服真是... You look like Hannah Montana. That skirt is...

我觉得很可爱啊 I- I thought it was so cute.

我自己买衣服就会这样 That's what happens when I shop for myself.

因为我从来没做过少女 It's 'cause I never got to be a teenage girl.

你永远也不会做 And you never will be.

你应该穿得高雅成熟 You should be dressing like a classy, grown-up lady.

你觉得我很高雅吗 You think I’m classy?

我可不能让我老公走出去像个廉价妓女 Can't have my husband walking around like a two dollar hooker.

我看看 Let's see.

这颜色你穿着好看 Ah. Yeah, this color looks good on you.

过来 Come here.

真不敢相信我在这样做 I can't believe I'm doing this.

你没必要这样 You don't have to.

这样好多了 Okay. That is much better.

拉不上拉链 但效果出来了 I can't, uh, can't zip it, but you get the idea.

见鬼了 我可真性感 Holy shit. I look hot.

给你了 Please keep it.

-克里斯托 -其它的事我都没意见 - Crystal. - I'm fine with the rest of it.

头发 妆容 The hair and the makeup,

我会教你做女人 你会成为真女人 I'll teach you all of it. You'll be a pro.

请你不要切除阴茎 Just, please keep your penis.

你知道我做不到 You- you know I can't.

为了我 For me.

你不用留在我身边 You don't have to stay.

不用吗 我能去哪里 这是我的家 No? Where would I go, hmm? This is my family.

我给你买的 I, um, I got this for you.

你喜欢的话就试试 You can- you can try it on, if you want.

我胖了十磅 I'm ten pounds up.

而且 你的胸比我还漂亮 Besides, your tits are better than mine.

你美极了 过来 You're perfect. Come here.

你不能让我一个人见我妈 You can't leave me alone with my mother.

我答应你哥帮他修拖车房的屋顶 I promised your brother I'd help him fix the roof of his trailer.

我需要有人为我挡挡 I need a buffer.

你干嘛不在允许的时间内 把醒着的每一秒 Why can't you just come and visit me every single waking moment

都用来看我 让我来填满你的生活 that you're allowed to and make your life all about me?

帕波 我们谈过的 Piper, we talked about this, okay?

隔一周看一次 这样我可以继续我的生活 Visits every other week so I can have a life.

你说的 这是你的原话 You said that. Th- these are your words.

我是个白痴 But I'm an idiot.

好吧 我们来做个游戏 Okay. Here's the game.

你记住她说的每一句无理的话 You remember every rude thing she says, all right?

然后下一周 And then, next week,

我们从"有点疯狂"到"疯狂到极点" we will rank them in order from kind of crazy

来给她的话排序 to truly bat-shit bananas.

会很好玩的 别这样 帕波 It'll be fun. Come on, Piper.

我不能取消 他住在防水布下面 I can't- I can't cancel. He- he's living under a tarp.

老天 他什么时候才能走上正轨 Jesus. When is he gonna get his shit together?

我觉得你家不肖子的头衔不再是卡尔的了 I'm not sure that Cal gets the family fuck-up title anymore.

还好吗 小帕 You okay, Pipes?

你买了菜吗 Are those groceries?

是的 但是 Yes, but…

你忘了带购物袋去 You di- you forgot to bring the bags.

我忘了 但我等下会吃掉纸袋 Uh, I did. But I'm gonna eat the bag later,

别担心 不会危害环保事业 so don't worry. Planet is safe.

你去了全食超市吗 买了什么 Did you go to Whole Foods? What did you get?

不少东西 Uh, a bunch of stuff.

不 说得具体些 No, no, no. Be specific.

每一样描述清楚 让我犹如身临其境 Tell me everything in detail. Just take me away.

好的 我买了些脆甜豆 Okay. Um, I got some crispy snap peas.

买了樱桃汁做冰沙 I got some cherry juice for my smoothies.

我的天 冰沙 Oh, God, smoothies.

还有一些甘蓝菜 艾迪大叔牌素食曲奇 And then some purple kale. Uncle Eddie's vegan cookies.

我可以在嘴里感觉到它们的味道 I can feel them in my mouth.

我还买了一些散装的烤杏仁 Then, I- then, I got, um one of those bulk, roasted almonds,

你知道 最上面有一层糖霜那种 you know, with the, uh with the sugar coating on the top?

对 脆杏仁 Yeah, yeah, yeah. The crack almonds.

脆杏仁 The crack almonds.

我还买了纯种番茄 And, uh, well, then I got some, uh, heirloom tomatoes.

本季最后一批 Last of the season, you know?

超级成熟圆润 几乎算得上过于圆润了 Super-plump and ripe, engorged. Almost.

多汁的水牛莫苏里拉奶酪 With some wet juicy Buffalo mozzarella

还有一些甜到心的有机草莓 and some sweet, sweet-ass, organic blueberries.

我的老二硬了 顶着你的屁屁摩擦 My cock is hard, and I'm rubbing it against your ass.

你说什么 What? What?

怎么了 What?!

你是想和我讲性爱电话吗 Are you trying to have phone sex with me?

我以为我们就是在玩这个 我糊涂了 Ye- I thought that's what we- Are- I’m confused.

有警卫在听 他们坐在监控室听 There are guards listening. They sit in a bubble, and they listen.

我相信一直都有人这样做 I'm sure people do it all the time.

旁边还有一个女人在哭 And there's a woman weeping next to me.

好吧 那我就自己解决吧 Okay, well, I'm just gonna go jerk off, then,

今天第五百次 for the five hundredth time today.

亲爱的 对不起 Oh sweetie, I’m sorry.

不用道歉 没事 No. It's- it's okay.

我又年轻了 回到了十四岁 I'm, uh I'm reliving my youth. I'm fourteen again.

我明白 我不要 I know! I don't wanna…

我爱你 I love you.

我爱你的小咪咪 I love your little boobs.

我的天 Oh, my God!

墙上不能贴东西 You're not allowed to put stuff on the walls.

大家都贴了 Everyone has stuff on their walls.

警官 Officer.

什么事 What's going on?

告诉她把那幅难看的东西取下来 Tell her she got to take that ugly shit down.

你的孩子画的吗 Your kid draw that?

我画的 I did.

抱歉 我不是故意... Sorry, I- I didn't mean–

没事 我画得不好 No, it's okay. I kind of messed it up.

眼睛太小了 The eyes are too small.

不 很漂亮 No. It's nice.

你会画画真是酷 I mean it's cool that you can draw.

这是艺术 It's art.

你允许她挂这种烂东西吗 Oh, so, you're gonna allow that shit?

可以挂 She can leave it up.

我会把坎耶的照片挂起来[说唱歌手] Fine. Then I'm gonna put my pictures up of Kanye.

你的头发怎么了 What did you do to your hair?

我得给一个变性人 给别人编发 I had to give it to a transsexual… for a weave.

有意思 Interesting.

你爸向你问好 他想来的 但是 Your dad sends his love. He wanted to come, but–

我明白 他不想看到我这个样子 No, I get it. He doesn't want to see me like this.

给你 进门时都没搜身 Here. They didn't frisk me at the door.

这可能是个装满毒品的假肚子 I mean, this could totally be a fake belly full of drugs.

他们又怎么会知道 How would they ever know?

我出去的时候会脱光搜身 I get strip-searched on the way out.

还要蹲下来咳嗽 Squat and cough.

帕波 别说这个 Oh, Piper, please.

你没有碰厕所的任何东西吧 You didn't touch anything in that bathroom, did you?

这里的东西都是粘乎乎的 Everything around here is so sticky.

但人就比想象的要干净得多 But the people are much cleaner than I thought they'd be.

你感觉如何 波丽 How you feeling, Pol?

肥胖 不爽 老样子 Large, hostile, nothing new.

我真为你激动 为我们大家激动 I am so excited for you, for all of us.

现在生孩子真是明智 It is so smart to do this now.

我跟帕波说过了 I told Piper.

奔四时想受孕非常困难 It's much harder to conceive when you're in your late thirties.

多谢了 妈 Thanks, Mom.

这是实话 Oh, but it's true.

你能浪费的时间已经不多了 You just don't have a lot of time to waste.

现在我就需要这个 That's exactly what I need right now-

提醒我的生育能力正在衰退 a reminder of my ebbing fertility.

我去买点零食 I'll go get some snacks.

过来一路上 The whole way up,

她哼着皮雅芙的歌 吃着开心果 she hummed Edith Piaf songs and ate pistachios.

你欠我的 我想单独见你 You owe me. I wanted alone time with you.

我有了老婆 I have a wife.

什么 What?

监狱老婆 她叫疯眼 A prison wife. Her name is Crazy Eyes,

我走哪里她都跟着 and she follows me everywhere.

真有这种事吗 That really happens?

老天 她的眼睛 是凸出的 Geez. Are her eyes, like, bulgy

斗鸡眼 还是一个眼睑下垂 哪种疯狂 or crossed or is one lid kind of droopy? What kind of crazy?

就是疯狂 疯狂的眼神 They're just crazy. They're just full of crazy.

很可怕 It's terrifying.

我不敢告诉莱瑞 我不想他担心 I'm- I'm afraid to tell Larry because I don't want him to worry,

但她太固执了 but she's extremely persistent.

我到哪里她都跟着 为我用馅饼砸人 She follows me everywhere. She threw pie for me.

她强暴了你吗 Did she rape you?

不 她没有强暴我 No, she didn't rape me.

但她牵我的手 But she held my hand.

好甜蜜哦 That's kind of sweet.

我希望皮特也能牵我的手 I wish Pete would hold my hand,

但他说手掌会出汗 but he says it makes his palm sweat.

在生产课上他一直在笑 And he won't stop laughing in birthing class.

像个初中生一样 He was like a seventh grader.

我刚跟你说我有了个老婆 I just told you that I have a wife.

我听到了 这让人不爽 I heard you. That really sucks,

但你应该做我的生产看护 记得吗帕波 but you were supposed to be my wife, Piper, remember?

你不在 我相当害怕 I'm kind of freaking out that you're not gonna be there.

我知道 对不起 I know. I'm sorry.

我们刚买了种婴儿床褥 如果婴儿停止呼吸 We just got this crib pad that sets off an alarm

就会发出警报 这事完全有可能 if the baby stops breathing, which could totally happen.

这是个问题 I mean, that's a thing.

我的产前瑜伽课上有个瘦贱人 And there's a skinny bitch in my prenatal yoga.

她这个笨蛋 居然吞了一个葡萄柚 She's a stick who swallowed a grapefruit.

前几天 她问我是不是怀了双胞胎 The other day, she asked me if I was having twins.

终于来了 我饿死了 Oh. Thank God. I'm starving.

彩虹糖 你们知道吗 Skittles. Did you know

在这里女囚不准碰钱 that inmates are not allowed to touch money in this place?

警卫刚刚告诉我了 不可思议 The guard just told me. Fascinating.

巴尼连锁店的订单怎么样 So, what about the Barney's order?

找到仓库了吗 Did you find a warehouse?

收到一些粗略报价 还没时间去看 Well, I got a couple of sketchy bids. I haven't had time to go look.

所以我们才雇了玛丽安娜 Well, that's why we hired Mariana.

我把她炒了 I fired her.

她连Word文档都不会做 She doesn't know how to make a Word document,

而且她连腋毛都不刮 and she doesn't shave her pits.

你怎么没先问问我 Wait, but why didn't you ask me first?

这话没道理 That's not fair.

亲爱的 又不是说我们拿起电话就能打给你 Oh, honey. It's not as if we can pick up a phone and call you.

我知道你难受 可我们还得继续过日子啊 I know it's hard, but the rest of us have to keep living our lives.

还好吗 红妈 How you doing, Red?

一半的西葫芦不见了 I'm missing half my zucchini.

这些姑娘不把这里当食堂 当成假阳具店了 These girls don't realize I'm here to provide food, not dildos.

总是在丢黄瓜 胡萝卜 甜菜根 I'm all out of cucumbers, carrots, beets.

鬼知道她们用这些做什么 God knows what they're doing with those.

看到老二形状的就忍不住 Can't hang on to anything cock-shaped.

抱歉 这玩笑能接受吗 Sorry. Too soon?

有点过 A little.

我真不理解你 You. I don't understand you.

我有三个儿子 我告诉你 I got three sons, and let me tell you,

如果他们想干你干的事儿 if they tried to do what you did,

在他们剁掉子孙根前 我先剁了他们的手 I'd chop off their hands before I'd let them get rid of their babymakers.

我已经生了儿子了 I already made my baby.

听着 你得帮我弄点东西进来 Listen, I need you to get something in.

跟吉纳说去 她替我办事 你知道规矩 Talk to Gina. She takes my orders. You know how this goes.

这东西不好弄进来 It's something that's hard to get.

雌激素药片或贴片 Estrogen pills or patches.

我不碰毒品 I don't do drugs.

这是药 It's medication.

我有规矩 不碰毒品药物 I got rules. No drugs.

这种东西不准进出我的厨房 Nothing like that comes through my kitchen.

再说了 就算我想帮你 Besides, even if I wanted to help you,

我也没这样的关系 I don't have connections like that.

给你个甘薯 Here. Have a yam.

我妈以前更年期时就吃这个 My mama used ate those during her menopause.

我再给你些大豆 我只能做到这些了 And I'll get you some soy, but that's the best I can do.

如果我自己有关系呢 What if I have my own connections?

你还没听清楚吗 Do you not hear me? Huh?

这是不可能的事 It's not gonna happen.

听着甜心 还有其它渠道 Listen, sweetheart, there's other channels.

但我不觉得你会堕落到走这条路 But I really don't think you want to go down that road.

你喜欢这种款式的 我说就选乔丹系列的 You wanna go down that road, I say Jordans.

这鞋很酷 Those are cool.

这是同志穿的 我喜欢勒布朗系列的 Those are gay. I like the LeBrons.

你要高帮还是低帮的 You want the highs or the lows?

两个都要 Both.

不行 选一种 宝贝 No. Pick one, baby.

要我说 小兄弟 低帮的好 If it were up to me, my man, I'd say the lows.

灌篮者系列的最紧俏 Those Dunkmans are tight.

今年卖得最火的运动鞋 They're the hottest pair of kicks to drop this year.

多少钱 And how much?

三百 Three hundred.

我们会买 对吗 We'll take 'em, right?

站起来试试 你会喜欢的 Stand up. Check'em out. You're gonna love those shoes.

打扰下 有没有 Excuse me. Do you have-

迈克尔 你怎么在这里 Hey, Michael. What are you doing here?

该死 Oh, shit.

你好 派特 Hi, Pat.

见鬼 Shit. Uh...

真巧 Yeah.

黛伯拉在买东西 我就想着... I, uh, Deborah's doin'some shopping, so I just thought I'd--

收到我的信了吗 Did you get my letter?

我还在等你的回音 I- I was hoping to hear from you.

我只是 Yeah, I was, uh--

抱歉 我得走了 I'm sorry. I- I got to go.

保重 迈克尔 Take care, Michael.

不错的运动鞋 Nice kicks.

有时候人与人相处就是这样 迈克尔 Sometimes it's hard for people. Michael.

迈克尔 Michael!

喂 先生 女士 你得赔钱 Yo! Sir- Ma'am. You need to pay for those.

注意 女犯们 Attention, inmates.

药房将在三点半关门 The pharmacy window will be closing at fifteen thirty hours.

你要见我吗 Hey, you wanted to see me?

是的 查普曼 Yes, Chapman.

在这里不准自选室友 We do not choose roommates around here.

这些小动作是违反监狱条例的 This type of hanky-panky is against prison regulations.

你刚来时我就警告过你了 I warned you about this when you first came in.

我不知道你在说什么 I do- I- I don't know what you're talking about.

沃伦刚告诉我 你们想做室友 Warren just informed me that you'd like to be bunked together.

沃伦是谁 Warren? Who is that?

疯眼 Crazy Eyes.

这里不允许这种事 有我就别想 This is not gonna fly around here, not on my watch.

女同性恋的请求被驳回 Lesbian request denied.

等等 这事和我没关系 Okay, wait. I had nothing to do with that.

相信我 我最不想要的就是接近她 Believe me, I- the last thing I want is to be anywhere near her.

我已经尝试摆脱她好几天了 I've been trying to shake her for days.

这不是你的申请吗 This didn't come from you?

不 当然不是 No! Absolutely not!

请别让我和她住一起 Please don't put me with her.

求你了 Please!

我愿意有多远 离她多远 I would- I would- I would like to stay as far away from that as possible.

我想着应该是这样的 I was hoping that that was the case.

她完全是个疯子 She is completely nuts.

我知道 以前就处理过她这个麻烦 No, I- I know. I've had trouble with her before.

她是我们所谓的风流种 She's what we call a stud,

对你这样的漂亮姑娘来说可能会困惑 which is very confusing for a nice girl like you

说实话吧 because let's be honest,

她看起来像个男人 she looks like a man.

要是我说了算 我会把这些假男人 If it were up to me, I'd take all the butch ones,

一起关在"小男生"号子 and I'd put them in a little boys' wing

把她们和普通女人分开 and I'd separate them from the general community.

试过几次上报这种想法 Ran that up the ladder a couple of times.

上头完全不感兴趣 Got not traction at all.

我建议 My advice,

慢慢让她死心 let her down easy.

这种人反复无常 She's volatile, that one.

小狗训练项目都不要她 She was removed from the puppy program.

女同是危险人物 Lesbians can be very dangerous.

睾丸素的关系 It's the testosterone.

他们拿走了我的润肤膏 They took my moisturizer, guys.

我得光脚走出机场 I had to walk through the airport barefoot.

如果布什又当选总统了 我们就搬去柏林 I mean, if Bush fucking wins again, we're all moving to Berlin.

喂 萝拉·英格斯·怀德 Hey, you. Laura Ingalls Wilder.

[《草原上的小屋》作者]

我们要在世界毁灭日前离开美国 你要来吗 We're skipping America before the apocalypse. Want to come?

你说什么 Sorry?

需要什么 What can I get for you?

你好 请问这里请人吗 Oh, hi. I was wondering if you're hiring.

没有 抱歉 No, sorry.

简历可以留下吗 Well, can I leave this with you?

说实话 也就是扔进抽屉里 Honestly, it's just gonna end up in a drawer somewhere. So…

好吧 算了 Okay. Well...

给我一杯玛格丽塔好吗 Can I have a margarita then?

这个没问题 That, I can do for you.

上吧 Go. Go. Go!

这天气喝玛格丽塔有些冷吧 你不觉得吗 It's a little cold out for a margarita, don't you think?

看看 Let's see this.

史蒂夫希腊高级美食 Steve's Greek Cuisine.

格兰特干酪 全是胡编乱造 Le Grand Fromage? Bullshit, bullshit.

你得学习如何写假简历 You need a lesson in fudging a resume.

你在这里工作吗 Do you work here?

你开什么玩笑 Are you fucking kidding me?

经理 波丽·哈珀 Manager, Polly Harper.

叫这个名字的人不可能当头儿 No one named Polly Harper gets put in charge.

这人到底是谁 Who is that really?

我朋友 My friend.

你这辈子从未当过服务员 对吗 You've never waited a fucking table in your life, have you?

没有 No.

帕波·查普曼 So, Piper Chapman,

史密斯大学毕业 善于倾听 a Smith grad with "excellent listening skills.

热衷于令就餐者感觉良好 Passionate about making diners feel good."

这句有点色 继续上酒 Mm, that sounds kind of dirty. Keep them coming.

上菜与端酒水时 安全干净且细致 "Safe, clean, and careful when handling food and drink."

我的天 Gosh.

我喜欢这样子的女人 I like that in a woman.

你还有什么优点我需要知道的 What else do I need to know about you?

你是谁 Who are you?

我叫艾丽克斯 My name is Alex.

你是做什么的 艾丽克斯 What do you do, Alex?

除了在酒吧调戏陌生人之外 Besides make fun of strangers in bars.

我为国际贩毒集团工作 I work for an international drug cartel.

得了吧 你是说你在这里不寂寞吗 Oh, come on. You're telling me you don't get lonely out here

这么荒凉的地方 in the middle of nowhere?

我不喜欢与人交往 我更喜欢豆类 No. I'm not into people. I'm more into beans.

你看到我的豆角了吗 长得不错 Did you see my long beans? They're going off.

还有班卓琴 And my banjo.

它们是我的朋友 豆类和班卓琴 Those are my friends, my beans and my banjo.

而且我和一个水下焊接工在做炮友 And I'm banging this underwater welder.

得有些爱好才行啊 You got to have hobbies.

你呢 写作顺利吗 没活儿吗 What about you? What's happening with the writing? No gigs?

有些心烦意乱 Been a little distracted.

也许你听说了 我的未婚妻在监狱里 Maybe you heard. My fiancee's in prison.

你去看望她时 有没有... Oh. Hey. When you visit, do you get to, uh...

没有 联邦监狱不允许夫妻行为 No. They don't allow conjugals in federal.

我自己解决了很多次 It's a lot of me, myself, and I.

真不爽 Bummer.

你应该试试"擦边机" You- you got to try edging, man.

是什么 What is that?

你自己打飞机时 It's where you- you jerk off, okay,

在快达到高潮的时候 right to the point of orgasm

停下来 and then stop.

这样做的原因是什么 And you do this because?

因为精液是你的能量源 你的精神气儿 Because your jizz is your power, man. It's spiritual.

令气保留在体内 It keeps your chi inside,

尤其是你文思枯竭的时候 especially if you got writer's block.

兄弟 你就得在达到高潮前的一刻 You got to walk right up to that line, bro,

停下来 and not cross it.

你这样做吗 And this is something you do?

对 那个焊接小妞告诉我的 Yeah. The welder chick taught me.

你得抓住你的蛋下面 See, you got to, um- you got to grab right underneath your balls,

就在这里 你得把这里抓起来 like right here. You really got to get up right up in there.

别碰 Okay, yeah.

能产生全身的兴奋感 And it creates, like, a whole body thing,

有点像女性高潮 kind of like a female orgasm.

大多数男人 不知道女人的感觉 You know, most dudes, they don't know what women got.

相信我 兄弟 比男人的高潮爽多了 But trust me, bro. It is way, way better.

许多有创造力的人都这么做 A lot of creative people do it.

事实上 他们说约翰·列侬 In fact, they say that John Lennon

写出《想象》这首歌 wrote Imagine

就是在这样爽过之后 right at that sweet spot.

十五个月 Fifteen months.

要等很长时间啊 Whoa. That's a long time to wait,

就算是我自家妹子 even if it is for my sister.

还是别说我和你妹上床的事了 How about we don't talk about sex with your sister?

有道理 Good point.

你料到有这种事吗 Did you see this coming?

帕波的事吗 With Piper?

没料到坐牢 不过其它事有可能 Eh, no, not jail, but something, yeah.

她希望感觉自己与众不同 I mean, she wants to feel like she's different.

她喜欢冒险 Likes the whole "I'm risky" thing.

我妹是个挺复杂的小妞 My sister's a complicated cat.

我知道了 So I'm learning.

我父母没想到会这样 Not like my parents ever saw it.

家里有个完美帕波和医生丹尼 Between "Perfect Piper," and "Doctor Danny,"

他们已经达到优质父母的标准了 they met their quality-parenting quota.

而我就可以随便抽大麻 But, like, I was free to smoke a bowl

这辈子无所事事 也没人会管我 and fuck off for the rest of my life with nobody ever bothering me.

现在我妈居然说要来看我 Now my mom's talking about coming up here to visit,

在圣诞信中提到我 putting me in the Christmas letter.

突然一下子 我成了创造力卡尔 Suddenly, I'm "Creative Cal."

真他妈的完了 It's fucked up.

帕波进监狱有可能是 Piper going to jail might be, like,

我这辈子碰到的最倒霉的一件事 the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

索菲娅 我有礼物给你 Sophia. I got you a present.

这是中度深色的粉底 It's powder foundation in medium dark.

我猜你用这个 希望是对的 I had to guess. I hope it's all right.

亲爱的 太完美了 Honey, it's perfect.

你真好 谢谢 That's real sweet of you. Thank you.

不客气 You're welcome.

我可以在物资部买东西了 I got commissary.

看来你的钱终于寄到了 Look whose ship finally came in.

给 还你送我的那些东西 Here. This is payback for all the stuff you gave me.

妮琪 这是你的杯子 And, Nicky, here's your cup.

妮维雅 算是利息吧 And, um, Nivea. That's interest.

还有什么 孩子 洗面奶归我了 What else you got, kid? I'll take that face wash.

别看到有好东西就这么贱 德玛克 Don't be a commissary ho, DeMarco.

这个 真像圣诞节啊 And these. Ah! It's like Christmas.

小帕 注意了 你有访客 Yo, P. Heads up. You got a visitor.

你好 宝贝 Hello, baby.

我跟你谈谈好吗 Can I talk to you?

听我说 苏珊娜 Listen, Suzanne,

我 I, um,

我知道你喜欢我 I know that you like me.

我可不仅是喜欢你 帕波 I don't just like you, Piper.

我有感觉 I got feelings,

爱的感觉 love feelings.

我知道 Yeah, I- I got that.

也许我说得不够清楚 Um, you know, maybe I was unclear,

如果让你误会我很抱歉 and I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression,

我不能做你的老婆 but I cannot be your wife.

我已经答应做别人的老婆了 I've already promised to be someone else's wife.

莱瑞 我非常爱他 Larry, whom I love very much.

我不会喜欢其他人的 And I'm just not interested in anybody else.

不是针对你 This is nothing personal.

但我们之间 不可能有戏 But you and I… not gonna happen.

知道了 I feel you.

他人呢 Where is he?

他不愿意来 我劝过了 He won't come. I tried.

学校让他周五做了投手 They let him pitch Friday.

对城堡山学校的大比赛 他们赢了 This big game against Castle Hill. They won.

太好了 That's great.

你的样子糟透了 出什么事了 You look like shit. What's wrong?

他们停了我的激素药 They took me off my hormones.

怎么会这样 为什么 What? Why?

他们说出现了肝损伤 They're saying it's liver damage.

这是屁话 他们不想有事担责任 It's bullshit. They just don't want to be liable.

太遗憾了 宝贝 Oh. I'm sorry, baby.

我快不行了 克里斯托 I'm losing my shit, Crystal.

我也不想麻烦你 I didn't want to have to ask you,

但我不知道还能求谁 but I don't know what else to do.

我需要你帮我偷运进来 I need you to sneak them in.

怎么做 How?

我不知道 I don't know.

要我塞屁股里带进来 在厕所里拉出来 Want me to shove them up my ass, take them out in the bathroom?

然后怎样 放我嘴里 亲你时喂你吗 Then what? Put them in my mouth so I can kiss you?

你他妈的疯了吗 Have you lost your fucking mind?

我知道这事太疯狂了 It's crazy, I know.

你要我也被关起来 这下可好 You want me to get locked up, too? Oh, that's perfect.

迈克尔去跟我妈住 Then, Michael can go live with my mother,

我妈这辈子都不会认我了 who won't speak to me anymore at all.

你呢 继续保持光滑皮肤前凸后翘 But you, well, you'll have your smooth skin and your lady curves,

怎么做都值得 so it'll all be worth it.

我不应该求你的 对不起 I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry.

我做两份工作 I'm working two jobs.

我尽力养大我们的儿子 I'm trying to raise our son.

你知道他们要没收房子吗 You know they're trying to seize the house?

他们不能这么做 They can't do that.

家里的账单 我从未用偷来的信用卡付过 I never paid any of our bills with those stolen credit cards.

我都没脸再去教堂了 I can't even show my face in church anymore.

对不起 I'm sorry.

你他妈的到底有多自私 How fucking selfish can you be?

克里斯托 如果他们停掉激素药 Crystal, if they take this away from me,

我的一切辛苦就白费了 this will all have been for nothing.

我嫁给一个叫马库斯的男人 I married a man named Marcus.

我总是为他哭泣 I cry for him all the time.

但我还是留下来支持你 But I stayed and I supported you

因为我明白你有多痛苦 because I could see how much pain you were in.

我知道这样做你才能活下去 I know it was saving your life.

是的 It was.

我觉得孩子有两个妈妈 总比爸爸死了强 I figured better my kid had two moms than a dead dad, right?

至少爸爸还在身边 At least he'd be around.

比我父亲强多了 Which is more than my father was.

至少他可以去看儿子的棒球赛 At least he'd be at his baseball games,

哪怕是穿着裙子去 even if it was in a dress.

我忍受你变成了女人 So, I put up with you becoming a woman,

但我没有签字将一辈子卖给罪犯 but I never signed on for a life with a criminal.

我会重新振作的 I'm gonna get my shit together.

我发誓 我会补偿你的 I promise. I'm gonna make it up to you.

你想补偿我吗 Oh, you want to make it up to me?

好好服刑 Do your time.

离开这里 这样才能做你儿子的父亲 Get the fuck out of here so you can be a father to your son.

有个男人样 Man up.

这是他妈的什么东西 What the fuck is this?

重新分配你的床铺 拿好东西 We're reassigning you. Get your things.

他妈的开什么玩笑 You're fucking kidding me.

你把姐赶走了 You had me moved?

这地方谁说了算 不是你 Who's running this place? Not you.

闭嘴拿好东西 Shut your mouth and get your things.

小心点 小姑娘 Watch yourself, little girl.

这里不是美国 This is not America.

这是利奇监狱 我在这里待了很久了 This is The Litch, and I've been here a long while.

我差不多每天五点来这里 I'm in here at five just about every day.

不想见就避开 You don't like it, avoid it.

你出卖了我 You named me.

什么 What?

你没必要拉我和你一起死 You didn't have to take me down with you.

就是因为这个吗 你觉得是我出卖你的吗 Is that what all this is about? You think I turned you in?

你五年没见我了 You haven't seen me in five years.

你不知道我的生活发生了什么变化 You had no idea what was going on with me.

我现在不同了 我有了新生活 I am a different person. I was building a life.

为你欢呼 不是我 帕波 Oh, well, hooray for you. It wasn't me, Piper.

放屁 你从未原谅我离开你 Bullshit. You never, ever forgave me for leaving.

被起诉的有十三个人 Thirteen people were indicted.

你全认识 我们一起旅行过 You met all of them. We traveled together.

我知道是你 I know it was you.

不是我 你这样想真该死 No, it wasn't. And fuck you for thinking it was.

他们给你什么好处 Right, what did they give you?

每拉一个无辜的人背黑锅 就少点刑期吗 Time off for every innocent person that you threw under the bus?

无辜 真他妈的好笑 Innocent? That is fucking hilarious.

你运送了钱袋 You carried that bag.

没人拿枪指着你的脑门 No one had a gun to your head.

你未婚夫可能信你的鬼话 Your fiance might buy this bullshit,

但我了解你 but I know you.

我了解你 I know you.

我带你转遍世界时你可没抱怨过 And there were no complaints when I took you all over the world.

但一旦出了事 But the second shit got real --

你让我有危险 You put me in danger.

你喜欢 You loved it.

你是来自康涅狄格州的无聊小女生 You were just this boring little girl from Connecticut

想感受做特别的坏女生的感觉 who wanted to feel special and bad.

别把矛头指向我 Don't turn this around on me.

我没有出卖你 I didn't name you.

也许我从未原谅你离开我 And, yeah, maybe I never forgave you for leaving

因为你伤透了我的心 because you broke my fucking heart.

也许我这辈子做过不少坏事 And maybe I've done a lot of fucked-up things in my life,

但我从未骗过你 从没有 but I have never lied to you… ever.

我卡住了 I'm stuck.

我想项链卡住了衣服或是头发 I think my necklace is caught on my shirt or in my hair

也许都卡住了 or maybe both.

你要我... Do you want me--

麻烦你 Yeah.

老天 Oh, man.

别看我的小肚子 Don't look at my belly.

好了 解开了 There. You're free.

是的 Yeah, right.

喂 Hello?

宝贝 是我 Hey, baby. It's me.

和你妈妈见面的情况如何 Hey. How, uh, how was the visit with your mom?

莱瑞 我有事要麻烦你 Listen, Larry, I need you to do something for me,

但我不想解释原因 and I don't want to talk about it.

你帮我调查艾丽克斯·沃斯 I need you to find out if Alex Vause

是否在庭审时出卖了我 named me at her trial.

慢着 我爸说 But wait. My- my dad said the,

证词已经封档了 怎么突然想查 uh, testimony was sealed. Why the sudden interest?

不知道 放不下这件事 I don't know. It's just eating at me.

我又很闲 I got a lot of time on my hands.

求你了 莱瑞 肯定有办法 Please, Larry, there's got to be a way.

你会跟你父亲说吗 Will you talk to him?

她叫艾丽克斯·沃斯 Her name is Alex Vause --

拼写是VAUSE V-A-U-S-E.

这对我来说非常重要 This is really important to me.

好的 但是 Yeah, o-okay. But, um--

我不想解释原因 And I don't want to talk about it.

我妈跟我说我的卵子越来越老 And my mother told me that my eggs are getting old.

查普曼 收拾东西 Chapman, get your things together.

搬去B宿舍 18号隔间 You've moving down to B dorm, cube eighteen.

那是黑人区 That's the ghetto.

什么 What?

他们让你住黑人区 祝你好运 查普曼 They got you in the ghetto. Good luck, Chapman.

你需要好运 You're gonna need it.

这是你的床 那是你的挂钩 That's your bed. These are your hooks.

我可不做别人的清洁大婶 I am nobody's cleaning lady,

每周我这里都是荣誉隔间 and I make honor cube every week.

你自己的事自己做好 还有 So, you do your part and then some.

干净的地板是我的骄傲 不准穿鞋 My floor's my pride, so no shoes.

进来时脱在外面 Leave them out before you step in.

我看到了食堂里的那出闹剧 And I see that nonsense go down in the cafeteria.

我才不管你是不是女同 I don't care if you're gay or what,

你在这里演言情剧 我们就会有麻烦 but you bring any drama in here and we'll have trouble.

我不会容忍我的号子里有这种蠢事 明白吗 I don't tolerate foolishness in my bunk. Understand?

以下有医生处方的犯人在医务室等候 The following inmates have prescriptions waiting in the infirmary.

你有权保持沉默 You have the right to remain silent.

怎么回事 I don't understand.

-你所说或所做的 -出什么事了 - Anything you say or do - What's happening?

将成为呈堂证供 can be held against you in a court of law

-你有权请律师 -你做了什么 - You have the right to an attorney. - What did you do?

如果你请不起律师 If you can't afford an attorney,

法庭将为你指派 one will be appointed for you.

你明白我刚才宣读的权利吗 Do you understand these rights as I just read them to you?

明白 Y- yes.

明白了这些权利 有话对我说吗 With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?

没有 No.

伯赛特 Hey, Burset.

我听说你想要弄东西进来 I heard you've been looking for something.

改变主意想试试烟肉蛋汉堡吗 Change your mind about that Egg McMuffin?

我不是那种女人 You got the wrong girl.