Original subtitles

Ladies and gentlemen,

I made the film we are about to present.

Please come and leaf through this album with me.

This is madame.

This is monsieur.

This is Monsieur and Madame Corniche,

friends of monsieur and madame.

Here are the three of us: the maid...

the cook...

and yours truly.

There's another gentleman who isn't in the film

but whom I must mention. Here he is.

He's a composer.

The music you hear is his.

And I must mention Mr. Bachelet, who lit the film.

He's the director of photography, and a remarkable man.

Mr. Gernolle, who recorded the sound, also deserves credit.

Let's also mention the continuity girl, Jeanne Etiévent,

the editor, Myriam,

our assistant director, Gilles Grangier,

and Guy Lacourt, our production manager.

You've probably guessed that the sets were designed by Mr. Jean Perrier.

I hope I didn't forget anyone.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

I wish you a pleasant time in our company.

Coming!

Chartreuse, my love?

Some wine?

No.

No, thanks.

I'll have some.

People usually offer what they want themselves.

What else is there?

- What are you reading about? - Those stolen emeralds.

They suspected the maid, of course.

- And it wasn't her. - Actually, it was.

What now?

Just to keep her on her toes.

Let's talk about our trip tomorrow so she hears.

I can understand your impatience,

but Deauville without a valet

is a frightening thought.

Did madame ring?

Our benedictine?

Sorry, madame.

Let's have a look at the news.

"Good cook, 35. Cannot leave Paris.

Write to A.B., 11 bis rue Marbeau."

Augustine's leaving her new job again.

She never stays put.

Adèle will handle the sitting room and dining room,

Madeleine will serve,

and I can have a woman come in to help clean.

It's all decided. We're leaving tomorrow.

Sorry about the benedictine. I completely forgot.

One must never forget anything, Madeleine.

Let that be a lesson.

"Valet, 42, 1,200 francs a month."

He's asking a lot.

What did they want? - I forgot the benedictine.

Seven liqueurs in there, and they want something else.

She wasn't far from the cabinet,

but she had to bother me to "teach me a lesson."

And then they expect us to like them!

What were they talking about?

What were they talking about? Us, of course.

What do you think?

Anytime we go in, bosses are talking about us.

If they stop talking, it was bad.

If they keep talking, it's so we'll hear.

They pretend they haven't seen us

and drop little nuggets like,

"Madame So-and-so has found a gem for 600 francs a month!"

Or... "People who steal from me don't last 24 hours."

This is my ninth position,

and all my bosses ever talked about

was money and servants.

Unless they were fighting.

And that bachelor you worked for for a year?

That was different.

He married the girl after me. Didn't I tell you?

I found out a week ago.

- Anyone we know? - No. She's Belgian.

Why didn't he marry you?

Maybe he wasn't ready two years ago.

Or she got pregnant. - I say you left too soon.

I'd had enough.

I stayed 18 months,

and what did I get, besides wages?

Twenty francs a time.

It wasn't that often either.

Anyway, I'm not keen on that with employers.

They get too many ideas.

We think they like us as women... - but no.

They say, "No, keep your apron on."

In the end it's just lust, and that never turns into love.

Sometimes they marry one of us.

So they get everything free.

So what were they talking about?

- Their trip to Deauville, of course. - And?

She says they're leaving tomorrow come what may.

With no valet? I'm not going!

Don't go flying off the handle!

They said it in front of me to sound us out.

They're not stupid.

They wanted us to talk about it. - Then let's talk!

Calm down. You can get so hot and bothered.

It must be the stove.

When I help her get undressed, we'll talk,

and I'll tell her what I think. - What will you say?

"Has madame considered

that Deauville is four times larger than here?"

Exactly.

"And with two guest rooms, and six people at dinner,

we can't do our work properly."

Tell her this for me:

A cook can't work outside the kitchen and still cook well!

Of course.

I want to know if we're going... - no last-minute surprises.

- That's the third one today. - No, the fourth.

- They have one hope left. - What's that?

They said a valet would be coming by tonight.

It's already 10:00. He won't be coming now.

She was crazy to sack Emile. She won't find another like him.

Maybe she doesn't want to.

Between you and me, Emile went a bit far.

- You'll burn yourself. - It's okay.

You can't pinch a cigar every single day.

Yeah, that wasn't smart.

He was like that with everything. Remember the liqueurs?

Know what I really didn't like?

He drank straight from the bottle. That's just not right.

I tell you, I've never touched her powder puff.

If I'm out of powder, sure, I'll take a bit of hers,

with the shoe horn.

But her powder puff is hers, see? - I do.

I'll go and act like I'm tidying up,

or else they'll get up to you-know-what and keep us longer.

- Listen, how was my coffee? - Fantastic.

- What about theirs? - She called it vile.

That's a bit much, but it is bad.

She wants us to eat first,

so of course the second pot tastes like dishwater.

I'm sorry to stand in your way...

but I'm adamant about this.

- May I clear? - If you like.

It's madness to go without a valet.

I intend to entertain, and I want a man to wait table.

No offense, my dear,

but I don't think a woman has the physical strength.

I should apply for Augustine's job, since she's leaving.

If I may, a lady in your situation

shouldn't be without a valet in Deauville.

You see?

Tongues would wag in the other villas.

Butter...

How much was the butter today?

Thirty-four francs.

Eggs...

36.

Leg of lamb...

67 francs, and cheap at the price.

Things are bad in there!

Monsieur insists they can't go without a valet.

Good! Then we're staying.

- I have two questions. - Go ahead.

- How much is seven and eight? - Usually 15.

And do you think they really love each other?

Them? You gotta be joking!

They have too much to gain from being together.

She just wants him to marry her.

That's all she's been after for three years.

She gave up acting.

I hear it was no great loss for the theater.

If everyone with no talent gave up acting... -

Anyway, it was a sacrifice for her.

She wants to be Madame Montignac.

The thing is, all her efforts seem to put him off the idea.

But he is fond of her.

You can sense he's flattered to have such a stylish mistress.

But really love each other? That's a different kettle of fish.

Maybe if the stakes weren't so high.

Love for more than one reason isn't love.

- You're very smart. - I think so.

- But will he end up marrying her? - When he doesn't love her anymore.

What's this? That can't be my man yet.

- Madame Cléry? - This is the place.

I've come for the valet position.

What? Am I too late?

No, your timing's perfect.

Good Lord, you shouldn't shout like that.

I'll tell madame. Who sent you?

The agency on rue Boissière.

What's she doing?

I got a message to be here before 11:00.

I'm in time. - Yes. They're expecting you.

Have a seat. I'll let madame know.

Was that you?

Let me ask you: What's it like here?

- In what way? - As a place to work.

Fine. Why?

Otherwise I'd leave right now.

- He's right. - It's a very nice position.

There's more?

Wait a second. She's in such a rush.

One more thing: How many of us are there?

Servants?

Me, the maid and you. And the chauffeur.

Very good. And how many of them?

- There's just one of them. - "One of them"?

I mean, it's a single woman.

- Is that all right? - Maybe.

Then I'll go tell her.

You're not done?

One more thing. Before she decides if I fit the bill,

I'd like to know if I fit yours,

because I don't like trouble.

Would you be glad if I took the position?

- Certainly! - Of course!

You can be frank.

Better the truth now than moaning and groaning later.

I won't force myself on you.

Why would we moan and groan?

I don't know.

Perhaps you'd prefer another woman.

Just the opposite.

Then if you don't object... -

On the contrary!

All right. Go on, then.

Thank you.

Kindly have a seat, monsieur.

Certainly, madame.

- You're not employed now? - Not since nine days ago. Why?

We may be leaving tomorrow for madame's villa in Deauville.

Does that suit you? - Very well. I don't know Deauville.

Does madame ask for references?

Yes. Don't you have any?

Oh, lots.

- Madame's waiting. - Coming.

I'll leave my hat with you, if I may.

Please take very good care of it.

When they heard, they went "Ah!"

- So they know me. - No.

Ask them for 700 francs a month.

I was going to ask for 800.

Please come in.

Are you available now? - Yes, madame.

- Could you leave Paris tomorrow? - Yes, monsieur.

- How much a month? - 800 francs, with wardrobe.

- You have references? - Of course.

Please let me see them.

- Caught you! - You did no such thing.

Why are you doing up your hair? Anyway, what's wrong with liking him?

- What about Victor? - What about him?

You've cheated on him before.

I've never cheated on Victor.

What about Marcel?

- Marcel? - The old chauffeur.

What a memory.

I'd forgotten all about him. Proves it didn't matter.

He's better than Marcel, if you like that sort of thing.

- You think he's ugly? - I didn't say that.

I just don't go for valets.

A man with no mustache looks like a show-off.

I don't mind a nice stocky man.

Each to her own.

I hear a door.

He's coming back. - Already?

- Scared? - Don't be silly.

Well? Is it settled?

I think so.

She said to wait here for five minutes,

probably so they can chat.

- Or call your prior employer. - You think so?

Maybe. That's what they usually do.

We can't stop them.

Why did you say it was a single woman?

Because it is.

Then who's the gentleman with her?

- Her boyfriend. - How stupid of me.

Of course, the boyfriend. So they live together?

No, he has dinner here but sleeps at his place.

They only live together during the summer in the country.

So she's not a slut?

We mustn't call her a slut, and we didn't.

- It's just her way. - We need more like her.

She looks quite proper. - Very proper.

You'd never think she was in the theater.

- She was at the theater tonight? - No, she was an actress.

Yes, no more than a year ago.

Why does she put on those airs? Maybe to get him to marry her.

- He caught on right away. - It wasn't that hard.

Employers are strange.

They send for you,

look you up and down, ask lots of questions.

We answer however we like, and it's settled.

We've got their number, but they don't know who we are.

Very true. Why do you think that is?

I think it's because... - How can I put it?

The questions they ask

are more important than the answers we give.

- I don't get it. - Me neither, I'm afraid.

It's hard to explain a gut feeling, but it's like this:

The person asking the questions

can't help giving himself away,

and the person listening sees where he's going.

I think it's mainly that. Don't you think so?

No? Oh well.

- You got that? - Perfectly. Didn't you?

- I'm starting to. - She's sweet.

You be sweet too

and go see if she phones my old boss.

- Happy to. - Sorry to impose.

Not at all.

What do you think?

She's very cute.

- No, I meant the boss. - Of course you did.

She has lovely eyes.

Though personally I prefer blondes on the heavy side.

No answer.

Just as well. Forget about that.

He makes a nice appearance.

He has an excellent reference. What more do you want?

She called, but no one answered.

We were just chatting.

There's an astonishing resemblance between him and Montignac.

- Are you joking? - No.

I've only seen pictures, but that man looks amazingly like... -

Why are you laughing? - Because it is Montignac!

The minister?

No wonder it looks like him.

That man's the minister?

He looks very proper for a minister.

He's very nice.

- Do we call him "monsieur le ministre"? - Now and then.

Right. Best not to overdo it.

That must be for you.

- Who did you work for before? - Countess Diepchinska.

- An English lady? - On the contrary.

I mean, she was an Algerian

who married a Russian man

who died. Sorry.

An amazing man, the kind that lives 100 years.

To see him on the morning of his death,

who'd have thought that six hours later... -

- How did he die? - Run over.

I told you his life and death in a nutshell.

Did you leave on your own?

My former boss? Yes and no.

We agreed to separate. Her reference says it all.

- Is it a good reference? - They always are.

Well, that's that.

- She called again? - No, she's hiring you.

Really? Why didn't she just say so?

I'm very happy, and I mean it sincerely.

You made a very good impression.

I'm not surprised.

And since the terms have been agreed upon,

you can sleep here tonight...

to be ready at dawn. - Very well.

You have a nightshirt?

I brought one in my bag, just in case.

Where's my room? - Right next to mine.

Like in Deauville. There they overlook the garden.

Here we have two rooms on the street.

What about the cook here?

She's married.

My word!

She doesn't sleep here.

She married a policeman. Must be three years now.

- He's only three? - No, three years ago!

I can just see a tiny little policeman... -

What a laugh!

Your room's this way, at the top of the stairs.

Very nice.

You can come and go as you like.

Madame allows us out at night?

Do you need her permission?

I don't want to be any trouble.

You can't stop a man from going out.

- You're not a ladies' man? - A man is always a man.

Sometimes, yes.

So it's just madame, you, and me who sleep in the house.

Of course. I'll make up your room.

I'll do that myself.

Starting tomorrow, yes, but I'll do it the first night.

You're leaving already?

It's past 11:00. Victor must be waiting.

Here he is now.

Did you want me to stay

while you make up his bed?

No, don't keep your husband waiting. I'll keep an eye on your kitchen.

Good-bye, dear.

See you tomorrow.

Trust me. Don't call that woman.

Don't go looking for problems.

I promise.

See you tomorrow.

Monsieur is leaving. I have to check on madame.

Well, good night, Mr?

- Désiré. - Good night, Mr. Désiré.

- Goodnight, madame? - Adèle.

A very nice name. Good night.

I hope we'll make a nice household.

Oh, I forgot to offer you a drink.

Never between meals.

But if you had paper and an envelope... -

No problem at all. Ah! Did I hurt you?

Not at all.

Here's the paper, and over here's...

the ink.

Make yourself comfortable.

Well, good-bye and good night.

Good-bye, Adèle. Thank you.

Coming!

Aha! The police are impatient.

My Adèle!

Sorry to bother you, but here's why I'm calling.

I just read your reference...

"Dear Mother...

fortunately...

it didn't take long...

to find...

a new position."

I have time to make your bed. She's calling right now.

- My old boss? - I think so.

It's a very delicate matter.

You mustn't make me spell it out.

Just one pillow?

Just one pillow? - I only have one head.

"It didn't take long to find a new place that..."

Well, I'll just wait.

He did something?

I believe you understand. I won't say more.

I beg you to keep this to yourself.

I promise.

It's such a grave matter.

Indeed.

Good-bye, madame.

Good-bye, and thank you.

My sweetie...

Where's the bell board? They don't make it easy.

That's madame's voice.

I'd go see, but if she isn't dressed... -

But I can't just let her shout. I have to help.

Madeleine, where are you?

She's not here, madame.

She's making up my room.

Ah, your room...

The thing is... - - Yes?

I just received

a call from a friend whom I asked to find me a valet.

She just found one tonight.

Now I'm in an awkward situation

as far as you're concerned.

But why, madame?

If madame doesn't wish to keep me, she should just say so,

but there's no point hiding the truth.

Why, what... -

Madame probably phoned my former employer, who convinced her

not to hire me. - Not at all!

If I dared, I'd tell madame she doesn't lie very well

and that she'd be doing me a favor by telling me.

If that woman means to continue wronging me,

I won't use her reference.

She gives me an excellent reference, then speaks ill of me in person.

That's not right.

That's twice this week.

I can understand employers sticking together,

but let a man earn his keep.

Forgive me, but may I ask

if the lady told madame why I left?

She only intimated.

- And did that frighten madame? - Well, yes!

Of course.

I mustn't insist.

Then I'll simply wish madame a good night.

Here I was, writing my mother that it didn't take me long

to find a position.

I'm sorry.

Not as sorry as I am, I assure you.

Come in.

Forgive me, madame.

Would madame mind terribly telling me exactly

what the lady said?

I'd find it quite awkward.

But I swear on my mother's life I wouldn't tell a soul.

Madame realizes it's best I know what people are saying

about me. - She wasn't really specific.

She just said that... -

I promised her I wouldn't tell you.

But I've sworn on my mother's life.

Madame can believe me.

- She said you did something. - Did something?

Something so serious that she had to dismiss you

on the spot.

That's all?

She didn't tell madame what it was I did?

What does madame imagine?

Heavens, I... -

Does madame think I stole?

I can't have anyone thinking that! That's very serious!

Let it be on that woman's conscience!

Oh, I can just see her saying

that it's dangerous having me in madame's home.

Madame of course immediately thought of her jewels.

Well, I can't have people thinking such a thing!

If that lady acts like this, there's nothing I can do,

but I'm going to explain exactly what happened.

She and I were alone one night in her apartment and...

There! I said it.

But... I don't understand.

Madame doesn't understand?

I said that she and I were alone in her apartment

that night. - And what of it?

Madame should think about what a man and a woman do alone.

Madame's put her finger on it.

Yes, it's what madame's thinking.

That lady will claim it wasn't her fault.

Madame knows these things can't happen if one party refuses.

A lady says, "Leave me alone," but you know what that means.

Or she asks, "What are you doing?" when she knows full well.

I recognize that what I did wasn't right,

but does one call one's valet to one's boudoir at 1:00 a.m.

in a tiny negligee because the curtain is sticking?

Oh, I know what they say: "A valet is not a man."

Well, now she knows.

I don't know how she feels, but it'll be a lesson to me.

From now on I'll avoid putting myself in awkward situations.

And to be honest, madame is less at risk with me

than with a man with no such experience.

One can't be sure of oneself until one's made a mistake,

but once it's done, one avoids repeating it.

But if madame doesn't trust me, I mustn't insist.

I'll take my leave.

Did she at least acknowledge I was a good servant?

She did indeed.

On that score I have no fear.

Honesty, cleanliness, impeccable service.

I'm of the old school. Fourth generation.

Not a blemish in the family.

My grandfather served the archbishop, my father the Duchess of Uzès,

and I started as a page for the Marquis de Casselas.

So if madame ever wished to put on an elegant show,

madame couldn't go wrong with me.

I don't mean to give madame advice,

but madame would be wrong to be influenced

by what amounts to foolishness.

Foolishness?

Yes, madame, foolishness!

Madame is not my former employer.

And madame would be hurting herself by not hiring me.

Certainly madame would never tolerate

what happened to a woman of 42... - or so she says.

Madame can see I'm no satyr, but I am a man,

and a man only needs to be clearly shown his place.

I know my heart well,

and I can assure madame that she can trust me.

Doesn't madame want to try me?

I mean, give me a trial?

Well, I...

I can't believe madame would be scared of me.

Of course not.

If I may,

I could say something to help madame decide.

What would that be?

I'll tell madame straight out.

Madame has nothing to fear from me in that regard.

Why is that?

Well... how can I put this without being impolite?

Everyone has the right

to their own ideas and tastes, do they not?

I understand. I'm not your type.

That's it! Madame does nothing for me.

No offense either, but just between us,

I prefer it that way. - So madame is keeping me on?

I mean, I think in madame's thoughts I'm already in her service.

I can see it in madame's eyes.

Do say yes, madame, so I can send Mother the good news.

Madame is laughing... - a good sign.

Very well. See you tomorrow.

Désiré. That's my name, madame.

Then see you tomorrow, Désiré.

Madame's scarf.

70 and 10 is 80, plus 4 is 84,

plus my two tierces and my belote.

And I forgot my last trick. That makes...

144. How about that?

I'm so happy to be here that I don't even mind losing.

Your turn.

So what do you think of Deauville?

It's wonderful.

- You like the villa? - I should say so.

It's charming.

Three... and three.

- Shall we retire? - It's early.

We'll be up early.

Pardon me, but I think I'll hit the sack.

So early?

You know what I've got on my hands?

I have four clubs.

No, I mean I have 100 windows to wash tomorrow.

You must be exhausted.

I can't wait to snuggle up to my pillow.

- Are they going out? - They didn't mention it at dinner.

No, not the first night.

See? They're going to bed. - They're waiting.

Madeleine, come help me undress.

Yes, madame.

- Désiré, that's for you. - Thanks a lot.

- It's a lovely dress, madame. - Yes, very.

You can close up. We're going to bed.

Shall I help monsieur?

No, thank you. See you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow, monsieur.

Might I ask if monsieur is happy with me?

- Extremely. - Thank you, monsieur.

Good night, madame.

What is it?

- That was stupid of me. - What was?

I should have kept my ace of diamonds earlier.

To think one day you could be president.

Why do you say that?

When I see you in your underwear, I can't help thinking about that.

What an idea!

See you soon, maybe.

Good night, my dearest darling.

Goodnight, sweetheart.

Madeleine!

Come help me undress.

Madame is so beautiful!

- Madame is so lovely! - What?

What lovely eyes!

Now that's funny!

No, Désiré!

I don't want to!

Leave me alone!

No, Désiré! I don't want to!

Leave me alone!

Well, I'll be!

Well, well. What are you two doing here?

- Just came to say hello. - Very kind.

- Are we disturbing you? - Not at all.

- Are you waiting for them? - Not really waiting.

But waiting all the same.

You get attached to your employers.

Very quickly.

And he's always sticking up for them.

To me, our employers aren't like us.

We must be very indulgent with them.

When I work for someone, they belong to me.

What's so funny? - Nothing.

I see. You came here to make fun of me.

Fine. Back to work.

- Can't we have a laugh? - That's enough.

Monsieur is angry. Come on.

You first, Baroness. - After you, Duchess.

Adieu, Marquis.

Good-bye, females.

What do those two idiots have to laugh about?

- Did you ring the bell? - They're back!

Julien, have dinner and come for us by 10:15.

Very good, monsieur.

- No visitors? - No, madame.

Did madame win at the races? - No, I lost, as always.

That's what happens when you bet on all the losers.

- Did monsieur win? - Yes.

Corniche will help me make it up at baccarat tonight.

Indeed. By the way, four for dinner.

Tell Adèle.

Are we done with our little mazurka?

It was so elegant and charming this afternoon.

I had an enchanting day. - I'm glad, my dear.

- What is it? - Alone at last.

I've wanted a word with you since this morning,

but we haven't had a moment alone. - That's true.

- Let's make good use of it - Anything serious?

- Sit down. - And now?

And now listen.

Don't let my questions surprise you.

Here it is: What do you think of Désiré?

- I think he's perfect. Don't you? - Yes, terrific.

But I mean apart from his work.

I don't understand your question.

As a man.

I've never considered him as a man.

- Why are you blushing? - Me?

Yes, you.

- You're embarrassing me. - Nothing embarrassing about it.

Ask me about Madeleine, and I'd just say she's pretty.

Am I supposed to say he's not bad?

Just tell me exactly what you think without getting upset.

- I'm not upset. - Or angry.

- I'm not angry! - You're shouting.

You're being a pain!

I'm a pain?

You've never said that before.

It's odd that you'd speak to me like that

just discussing our valet.

My question wasn't offensive.

Yes, it was!

Very well. I'll ask it a different way.

Have you noticed in Désiré's look

or his attitude toward you

the slightest sign of any feeling you might have provoked in him?

Stop right there. The answer's absolutely no.

He's never been anything but proper and perfectly respectful.

But you tell me: Have you noticed something?

- Not at all. - Well then?

Did someone tell you, or write you an anonymous note?

Did you learn something from his past employers?

- No, nothing. - Then what is all this about?

Let me tell you.

Now that you've answered

and I've seen how sincere you are,

I'll give you a good laugh.

Do you remember your dreams?

My dreams? Never. I'm not even sure I dream.

Do you remember what you dreamed last night?

Last night? No.

You dreamed that Désiré...

What!

You talked so loud that you woke me up.

"No, I don't want to! Désiré, leave me alone!"

How awful! How could such a thing happen?

We don't choose our dreams, but put yourself in my shoes.

I can imagine! How awful!

I'm so upset. How you must have felt!

It was quite an unpleasant feeling,

despite the humorous aspect.

- Humorous? - Let's be honest.

At least after a while it became humorous.

- After a while? - Yes, because you see...

it's been going on for a week.

Every night since we arrived here.

Your frolicking wakes me up regularly around 2:00 a.m.

Don't laugh! This is terrible. What's the matter with me?

- Nothing. - It must be something.

- You're mad. - Perhaps.

No, I mean to think it's more than just an obsessive thought... -

Poor dear, how awful!

Is it always the same? - Exactly.

- At first you resist. - I should think so!

Then you give in and end up very happy.

Oh, do be quiet! How awful!

My God! - What?

His room is above ours. Do you think he's heard?

We have to find out. - How?

- We'll do an experiment. - No, I'm not listening

from his bedroom. - You have to.

Then I'm not sleeping there tonight.

Or anywhere else. - You're not going to bed?

I wouldn't dare go to sleep.

What's wrong?

- I see it all now! - All what?

- I remember it all! - All what?

My dream!

- Because we talked? - Perhaps.

You're sure? Then that cancels it all out.

You believe that?

- Did madame call? - No!

- But I heard her. - Madame was singing.

That was singing? How odd. Sorry.

- Dismiss him immediately. - Why?

After what he's done!

Don't take it so seriously.

Wait a night or two.

If it keeps up, we'll have no choice.

It'd be a shame. He's a first-class valet.

The one time it works out... - what rotten luck.

Is the newsstand where you buy your papers far?

No, very close. What do you want?

I'd like a little... -

- Madame rang? - For Madeleine.

- Yes, but Madeleine is gone. - What?

I mean, she's gone out.

She's gone to the...

the man who removes stains. The cleaner.

Send Désiré. You know the newsstand?

- Of course. - Wait.

What paper do you want? - It's not a paper.

- What is it? - Say the word, madame.

It's a little red book in the corner.

And it's called?

The Key to Dreams.

Unfortunately they're all out,

because I bought the last copy yesterday.

But of course I'll lend it to madame. - Okay.

- Pardon? - Okay.

I'm okay, thanks.

I'm not asking that. I'm telling you to go.

See? He's heard everything!

He wanted to understand my dreams!

Calm down. Here.

Look up what you're interested in.

We'll let it fall open

to see what page he was reading.

"Erotic dreams...

always happen for a reason.

They point to a subconscious love of which the dreamer

is still unaware."

That's stupid and vile!

The stupid thing is consulting a book like that. Give it here.

No, I want to try another page.

Look what you did! You ripped the page!

I'll tear it out completely. - That'll be worse.

But he'll see what I was reading.

Then let him!

Who's doing that?

Don't open the door now. - Why not?

I'm leaning against it. Go away!

It was nothing.

Go on now.

- What was it? - Nothing.

What time is it? 8:10. Let's get dressed.

For what?

For what?

The Corniches are coming to dinner.

That's right. I wasn't thinking.

Come give me a kiss.

You don't think I'm silly?

Go get dressed.

- May I serve, monsieur? - I should think so!

You're late, my friend.

You must be punctual around here.

God, how easy it is to take advantage.

Why did he say that?

He himself told me never to serve before 8:15.

Maybe he's in a bad mood.

- What? - Listen...

In bed for the night? - Come now.

- Madame wants this tablecloth. - Fine.

I'll give you a hand.

Very kind of you.

- What's wrong? - What's wrong?

It's not in the middle.

- It almost is. - Oh, sure. A little more.

"Almost"! That's just like you.

Almost good, almost straight.

That's good enough for you, but not for me.

You're so fussy.

No, I just like to do a good job.

And if you did your job better, you'd like it more too.

That's the thanks I get?

I didn't ask for your help.

You can be so unpleasant.

I just don't like how you act.

- The way I act? - Yes.

You and Adèle.

I don't like people making fun of their employers.

I really hate it.

We can't all share your feelings for madame.

What's that supposed to mean?

- You don't understand? - No, I don't.

And I don't wish to.

- You don't say. - I do say.

You know what else?

Stop grinning. - Or what?

Or you'll have me to deal with.

For three or four days now,

you've both been laughing when you look at me...

and I'm just about fed up.

You might ask why I laugh.

- I'm not interested. - You should be.

Not knowing won't kill me.

- It might help you. - Then it's just my bad luck.

If you're not curious,

you mind if I am for a moment?

Who could stop you?

- I have just one question. - Ask away.

It's a simple detail:

Do you ever remember your dreams during the day?

Remember my dreams? Sometimes.

Then you must have quite a time!

Sorry?

Nothing... I mean, why did you ask me that?

For four nights you've woken me up with moans and cries

that leave no doubt as to the nature of your dreams

or the identity of the person they involve.

Oh, no need to blush so.

I'm not being mean.

I'm telling you in case you'd like

to keep everyone else from knowing.

Stop shouting.

Architects who build villas don't think about these things,

so be careful.

Why did you wait four days to tell me?

The second day, I wanted to see if it would happen again.

By the third day it was getting monotonous,

and the fourth day I told you.

Don't look so upset.

Don't be so nervous.

Look at your fork.

First of all, it's not your fault.

Maybe it's just a little outburst that lasts a few days.

Don't give it too much importance.

Dreams are just dreams.

"Dreams and lies," as they say.

But I was curious what they might mean,

so I went to the newsstand

to buy The Key to Dreams,

but they said you'd bought the last one.

You carry it on you? Let me borrow it.

- Why not? - I can't leave it around.

- I won't. Lend it to me. - Keep it hidden.

Did what I tell you bother you?

No, what bothers me is that you overheard.

Afraid I'll tell madame?

You wouldn't do something that low.

But if you heard me, maybe they did too.

Or maybe they'll hear me tonight.

I'm sure it'll happen again now that we've talked about it.

Imagine if they hear me shouting "Odette"!

No, you shout "madame."

In the third person? Almost as bad.

I don't dare go to bed. I don't dare sleep!

You mustn't get so worked up.

Keep something else in mind.

Oh God, what now?

Just because I hear you doesn't mean they do.

A floor is thicker

than a wall.

Shall you and I do something while they have their coffee?

You and me? Yes, that might help.

Not that!

You go to your room, and I'll go to madame's.

We can't do anything that way.

You speak loudly, and I'll see if I can hear.

Oh, I thought... - Yes, that's a good idea.

- See, I'm not so horrible after all. - It's true.

- Friends? - Friends!

Now set the table. You're late.

It's true. I still have to dress.

And now the salt shakers.

And toothpicks.

Yes, one per mouth, right?

Tell me...

are you sweet on her?

Don't be silly!

Then why do you dream about her?

You can't choose your dreams.

Sure, but they usually come from things

we think about during the day.

Not on your life!

- What does the book say? - Pure rubbish.

Now...

the flowers...

and we're done.

There you go again. Listen, don't breathe a word.

I swear. But listen. - What?

Admit you're in love with her.

You're jealous.

What?

I don't go for valets.

Then we'll get along fine. I don't go for maids.

"Erotic dreams always..."

What are you reading?

Nothing, monsieur.

- That's not your book, is it? - No, sir.

Then leave it there.

Odette, what time does the clock up there say?

8:30.

If Corniche is at the club, when will we ever eat?

- Sorry? - It doesn't matter!

What?

Nothing!

If it's that hard to hear from one floor to another, all's well.

I'm ready.

Oh, what a pretty dress!

You really like it?

It's ravishing.

The neckline isn't indecently low?

Not low enough.

Oh, darling!

Don't you think I look like a married woman?

- Yes, too much. - Why too much?

- I don't see the point. - Come now.

Don't you like having a lady friend so chic

that no man would dare be disrespectful?

Of course.

What was the name of that actress

in the green dress this afternoon?

Jeanne Valrène.

She has a certain style.

Yes... like a circus horse.

I hope I'm better than her. - Don't be silly.

- And better than Madeleine too. - Madeleine who?

- The maid. - Why do you say that?

- I think you like her. - Me?

Don't tell me I dreamed about her!

No, but you said she was pretty.

I don't recall, but since it means nothing at all,

I'll say that she is pleasing to the eye.

Would you marry a woman of her appearance?

I've never had any intention of marrying Madeleine.

Or anyone else, for that matter...

including me.

- Especially not you. - Why?

- I love you too much for that. - What does that mean?

Simply this... -

They're here. 8:40 isn't bad.

Oh no! I think she came alone.

She did. She came alone.

I can't stand it when he does this.

One doesn't send one's handicapped wife ahead like a scouting party.

We invite her because of him.

He may be a big shot, but he'll always be a boor.

- And she's a pain in the neck. - Unbearable.

Oh, here she is!

My dear friend!

Shall we sit for a moment?

- Désiré, you can serve now. - All right.

- You can serve now. - I heard.

- Thanks. - Don't mention it.

- Shall I open the door? - Please.

I didn't dare ask.

Dinner is served, madame.

After you, my dear.

The fact your husband couldn't drag himself away from baccarat

is no reason for us to eat burnt saddle of lamb.

- What did she say? - Nothing at all.

Have a seat.

She didn't hear me?

- I spoke loudly. - Apparently not loudly enough.

- Shall I sit here? - Yes.

And that's your husband's place.

Ah, my husband's place.

She heard!

Let's hope it keeps up.

There's no soup.

Oh yes, I'd love a scoop.

- That didn't last long. - This is exhausting.

Anyway, she can see there's no soup.

- I love lobster. - It's langoustine.

Yes, probably. Too bad, eh?

- What did she think you said? - I don't care.

Corniche will pay for this.

You don't send a deaf woman to dinner alone.

Don't you think she's getting worse?

- It's the sea air. - Possibly.

Still, it's a frightful feeling to talk in front of her

without including her.

She's used to it.

Look at her. She doesn't care.

She eats enough for four instead.

Very good!

Good Lord, she frightened me!

Why is she shouting? - Because she's deaf.

- So tender! - Who?

The langoustine, of course.

- Serves him right. - The langoustine again?

He won't get any.

And she's dim-witted too.

Her poor husband!

Fished this morning.

Your husband went fishing this morning?

No, the lobster. I'm sure it was caught today.

- I hope so. - It smells of the sea.

It can hardly smell of eucalyptus.

Better than in Paris.

No, I don't know what his share is.

A lost cause.

Just give up.

May I offer a bit of advice?

Madame shouldn't shout. It's pointless and exhausting.

I had a relative who was deaf like this poor lady.

You won't get through like that.

You must speak quite softly but articulate well.

The lady will be able to read

Madame's lips,

and monsieur's lips too, of course.

Or if madame insists on shouting, do so in her ear.

Like this, for instance.

Veuve Clicquot? - Please.

Does madame see?

- Désiré. - Monsieur?

Serve quickly to cut this short.

Like in a train station diner. I understand, sir.

Pardon?

Why is she speaking so softly now?

Same reason.

She can't hear and doesn't realize it.

I didn't hear what you said.

Ah, so you're a little deaf too.

Perhaps. How charming.

But it's true that if we articulate, she understands.

But you don't need to talk like this with me.

You're right. Sorry.

What were you saying?

I said your new valet is very good.

Now he knows.

- 9:15. - What time is it?

I can't see.

And she's shortsighted too.

9:15. He must be losing a lot.

Doesn't his firm feel that in his situation,

an executive is wrong to play

for such high stakes?

No, on the contrary.

He plays with his company's blessing.

He keeps his winnings,

and 2l3 of his losses come from the advertising budget.

Actually, these long silences are quite pleasant.

We can catch our breath.

- Do you play baccarat? - No, madame, never.

Sorry, sir.

Of course not. He's a minister.

- I play the horses. - Horses are better.

Man's noblest conquest.

That's what my doctor said.

While your valet is out of the room... -

He's right there.

- Shall I leave, madame? - No, stay.

Désiré, don't pass the lamb around.

Fine. Shall I skip the Russian salad too?

- You'd have to remove the menu. - It's right in front of her.

Would madame point at something outside?

- How lovely! - My word!

I thought it was my husband. - No, the moon.

That's not the same thing!

I don't care about her, but aren't you cold in that dress?

No, but I would like my scarf.

I'll get it.

Here you are, madame.

I almost put my foot in it.

I'd have felt awful.

I think you've found a gem there.

As attentive as he is attractive.

He arranged your scarf so gently. He seems to adore you!

Listen to this amusing story.

Your valet made me think of it.

Do you know a certain crazy Russian woman,

Countess Diepchinska?

I've heard the name.

Her maid is my cook's sister,

and she told me a hilarious story

that took place

about two weeks ago.

What are you looking for?

The bell.

- Why? - To call Désiré.

- So he can hear this? - So he'll finish serving.

- Aren't you listening? - Yes.

Anyway, this countess had a valet like yours,

from what I was told.

One evening... -

- You may serve. - Yes, madame.

No cheese for the lady either? - That's right.

Sorry I'm late. Shameful, I know.

Sorry, but you know how gamblers are.

- Did you win? - Yes, one million.

I should call the casino to see if he's still there.

He's right there.

He's right here.

- Well? - I lost.

- How much? - 100,000.

Good evening.

Hello, my dear minister.

- Have you eaten? - I have.

- That can't be true. - More or less.

I had a dozen sandwiches,

but I didn't have dessert, so I'd love

some of that ice cream,

and coffee, of course.

How did it go?

As it always does.

- Do you have a toothache? - No, it's so she can't read my lips.

At 8:00, I was down two million.

At 8:45, I was breaking even.

Twenty minutes later,

I was winning one million on three bancos.

3, 6, 12.

- So you won more than a million? - No...

because then I played a banco

for 120,000 at the next table and lost.

So you won 880,000.

No, because at another table I bought a hand at 60,000

that went round twice.

Her dress is ravishing.

Telephone, sir.

No, the minister. - Who is it?

- Your private secretary. - What now?

I'm coming.

- I know what it's about. - What?

The cabinet resigned an hour ago.

- What about Félix? - Félix is finished.

Sorry.

I heard at the casino, but I thought

his secretary should tell him.

- What's going on? - Back to work.

Shall I lie or tell her the truth? - Come now.

Here we go.

You know that France is a republic for the time being.

Well, the present government has just fallen.

In other words, the cabinet is resigning.

- And Monsieur Montignac? - Out on his ear.

Madame, may I ask why you look

so lovely tonight?

Montignac is a lucky fellow. Are those eyes really yours?

Do compliments bother you?

It depends on what they are and from whom.

- Will madame have coffee here? - Yes. All right?

As long as we have it together.

What?

Did you see your valet's face?

That man is jealous.

If he's supposed to watch over you, beware!

He was incensed by my compliments.

What a notion.

But that won't stop me from saying...

that I've never seen you as gorgeous as tonight.

As if you did it on purpose. - Meaning?

Well, let's just call it a coincidence.

- What about her? - She can do without.

Friends, I have upsetting news.

The cabinet is resigning.

You knew?

- I heard at the club. - He told me all about it.

Delplanque resigned without telling us first.

I find that scandalous. Whom does he take me for?

I'm calling him to tell him what I think.

Three or four of us were in his way,

so he's forming a new cabinet with his own incompetents.

The Lisieux office doesn't accept calls after 10:00.

You tell them

it's from the minister of communications,

and that I'll sack them all if I don't get through.

A minister has to be tactful, but they better watch out now.

My friend, I won't try to advise you,

but here's what I'd do. - What's that?

Here's what I'd do.

I'd take the 10:50 train.

I'd storm in to see Delplanque,

who wouldn't be expecting me.

The telephone's no good. - You're right.

Désiré?

- Cancel the call. - I'd like to slap that woman!

- I'll change and be right back. - Yes, do that.

The poor boy's upset.

Between you and me, he's the cause of all this.

Félix?

He's made mistakes

that have put Delplanque in an awkward situation.

Or so I heard at the club.

Look at the pretty newspaper!

He won't be a minister for long.

We're talking politics!

May I give you my honest opinion?

- Go ahead. - That boy needs a rest.

You know Egypt?

I hear it's lovely. - I'm sure.

The million I won tonight...

come spend it with me in Egypt. It would take about two months.

What do you say?

I knew you were crazy and ill-mannered,

but to ask that of your friend's girlfriend,

and in front of your wife!

I'll do anything for love.

I wouldn't brag about it.

Then it's no?

Very well.

I'm on a lucky streak and have no mistress,

and since I'm crazy about you, I wanted you to benefit too.

Pardon me, but do I look like a prostitute?

You? Never.

Do you imagine

I'd offer a prostitute a million francs to come to Egypt?

Never! I hate prostitutes!

It's precisely because you look like a woman of breeding

that I'd offer such a preposterous sum.

Women will never understand us.

And you think

men understand us?

I look like a woman of breeding, so you treat me like a prostitute?

Very odd indeed!

10:25... - I'm off!

No, we're off! I'm taking you.

I forgot that the 11:10 train is a local.

You wouldn't be in Paris before 6:00.

But my car, which does 75,

can get us there by 1:00 a.m.,

but we have to leave this instant!

Then let's!

We're going? Where to now?

It's a surprise!

Darling, I'll be back for lunch tomorrow.

- You're not taking me? - What for?

Quick, give me a kiss.

Darling, don't leave me all alone.

Be reasonable and think of my situation.

See you tomorrow.

Start the car!

Say something sweet before you go.

- Montignac! - Coming.

- You coming? - One second.

If I'm no longer a minister,

I'll marry you.

Now that's something!

Don't worry. She loves the foldaway seat.

What's going on, madame?

Monsieur was abruptly called to Paris.

He'll be back for lunch tomorrow.

Is the minister really resigning?

Poor country.

So monsieur won't be a minister anymore?

I hope not.

You never know. Will madame be going out?

No, I'm going right to bed.

Come help me undress.

My God, to think a man would be such a boor.

I wanted to go out tonight, but I certainly can't now.

I couldn't leave her alone.

If anything happened to her, I'd feel horrible.

Want a hand?

That's very kind of you.

You want a hand?

I'd love one. Most kind.

Take that one, please.

Listen...

did you hear what he told her?

I didn't. Did you? We can't help you.

- I heard. - Then tell us.

"If I'm no longer a minister, I'll marry you."

It's true.

Look at that. He didn't make a mess.

He didn't eat, that's why.

Her little crumbs...

You going out tonight?

I might step outside for a smoke.

Take the key to the back door.

No, you can lock that. I'll use that door.

One other thing.

If you wake me up again... -

Just bang on the wall to wake me up too.

Got it. Good night.

- Good night. - Is this my tip?

Thanks. - Don't mention it.

No, Désiré, I don't want to.

Désiré, leave me alone, I beg you.

- Madame is down here? - What are you doing in my room?

But madame...

Madame is down here?

How long have you been here?

Let me see.

It's 3:10 now. Since about 11:30.

11:30?

About 15 minutes after madame went to bed.

Went to bed here?

No.

Didn't madame go up after monsieur left?

Then I tidied up

and went outside for 15 minutes for a smoke.

Then I decided to lie down in here,

and I fell asleep. - You didn't turn on a lamp?

You didn't know I was here? - Certainly not, madame.

I would never sleep in the same room as madame.

But is madame sure

she was here before me?

I'm positive.

From my room I saw you

go out into the garden first.

Then I did come in after madame.

My apologies, madame.

Why didn't you sleep

in your own room?

I don't know. No reason.

You sleep down here often?

No, madame. This is the first time.

What woke you up?

It felt like someone was calling me

in my sleep. - Calling you?

By name?

But when you woke up, you realized

you were mistaken.

Once I woke up,

I heard nothing more.

Well, I think you should

go up to bed now.

Surely madame doesn't mean to spend the night here?

I might.

Madame mustn't. The nights are cold.

It'll be very cold in here in an hour.

It's unwise. I'll stay down here instead.

I get up in a few hours anyway.

Besides, tongues would wag

if they heard madame slept in the sitting room.

We can both go back to our own rooms.

There's no reason either of us has to sleep down here.

Indeed.

Well, good night, Désiré.

See you tomorrow.

What do you mean, no?

No, madame must allow me

to say adieu. - Now?

I'll be gone when madame awakes tomorrow.

Why are you leaving like this?

For what reason?

Madame mustn't ask questions.

If only madame had said adieu without asking questions.

Why spoil the beautiful thing she did?

What beautiful thing?

Madame doesn't realize what she said to me?

No, I don't see what I could have possibly said.

All the better.

It's flattering that madame would unwittingly trust me

with such a secret.

A secret? I haven't trusted you

with any secret.

Madame's behavior is certainly curious.

Does madame think I'm stupid?

That she can address me

like a man one moment and a servant the next?

When I said I awoke thinking I'd heard my name,

Madame didn't ask if I realized I'd been mistaken.

I certainly did.

No, madame didn't ask me... - she told me.

"When you woke up, you realized you were mistaken."

Madame gave me the answer.

And madame, as if still partially in her dream, trusted me,

and that touched me so.

Madame must let me leave with that impression

and not suddenly turn distrustful now that she's fully awake.

After all that, how can madame ask why I'm leaving?

Madame knows perfectly well,

just like she knows we can never discuss it.

Madame must realize

there's something between us now that nothing can erase.

Madame mustn't believe that servants don't understand.

However great the distance between two people,

they're not so very different.

Hold two hands close or far away... -

they're still just like each other.

Madame asks why I'm leaving?

To keep the vow I made

the night madame so kindly hired me.

I told madame that night she'd never need to fear me.

To give madame even greater confidence,

I even said that her beauty did nothing for me.

But now I'm not so certain I can keep my word.

I wasn't very sure a few minutes ago,

and now I'm not sure at all.

Things have gone on these last few days.

I made two mistakes. Madame's eyes that first night

should have put me on my guard.

I shouldn't have tempted the devil by insisting she hire me.

My second blunder was to say I wasn't attracted to madame.

One must never say that.

The mere fact one says it proves it isn't entirely true.

It haunts one's mind. One wonders if it's really true.

So one does experiments.

No, I didn't watch madame through the keyhole,

but from my window I watched her in the garden.

I observed her shoulders and hands at dinner,

and her legs and ankles as she got in the car.

And it was such a good feeling those first days!

So good that I felt cured. I was so happy.

Because I must confess, I was very scared of myself

and anxious about taking this position.

Because there was something I dared not reveal,

but I'll reveal it now:

What I did with the countess, I'd done twice before.

Yes, the countess was the third.

The whole week before I took this position,

I wasn't attracted to any woman I saw out and about,

and I thought if I was only attracted to my employers,

then I was doomed.

Imagine, a servant who is still fairly young,

attracted only to his employers, whom he cannot love.

One must have this job in one's blood to understand how tragic that is,

because I love my job, madame.

I heard monsieur speak once of the thrill of giving orders,

but if madame only knew what bliss it is to obey!

To serve is a marvelous thing!

Free to have no will of one's own.

"Open the door." "Close the window."

All other people's ideas.

And if it's a woman's voice, with a slightly stern tone,

it's a delicious feeling!

How I envied the slaves!

That was the situation I was in after three days.

I did my job, and madame said nothing... - marvelous!

Then, the third night, everything changed!

I start to dream about madame. Yes, me too!

A dream where nothing's forbidden,

where everything happens the way it should.

Next day, same thing. It's been four nights of torture.

I came down here so madame wouldn't hear me,

because it seems I talked in my sleep too.

So I fall asleep and wake up, and what do I see?

Madame, sleeping in the same room,

spending the night with me, as it were, calling for me,

dreaming the same dream.

And madame asks why I must leave?

I won't ask anymore.

Madame thinks I should have held my tongue.

I spoke because of madame, but madame doesn't understand.

How could she?

Has an employer ever understood a servant?

After a week with an employer, we know all their faults.

After a month, we can read their thoughts.

But even after five years' service, an employer knows nothing of us.

Only when we leave do they even think to ask us our last names.

Many of them would be amazed to learn

what we know about them.

So madame, before I leave,

may I give madame my opinion and advice?

Madame shouldn't seek to marry monsieur.

Madame would be lost married to a man like that.

Monsieur is a minister. Madame must never forget that.

He feels pressured by his colleagues to have a mistress.

If he married madame, there'd be another in her place.

Madame doesn't know that world like I do.

Politicians are almost all from the provinces.

They try to look more Parisian by taking mistresses.

Oh, and madame should go back to acting.

Even a role at the Odéon. It doesn't matter.

An actress is flattering for a man.

Doesn't madame listen to monsieur?

You'd think one only heard properly through closed doors.

4:00.

The sky's already growing light.

Madame will be very tired tomorrow,

and it's my fault. Forgive me, madame.

Let us come to an agreement.

When Madeleine awakes,

I'll tell her my mother is ill and that I'm leaving for Lyon.

I'll write to madame in two days,

and madame will kindly send a reference

written entirely in her own hand.

I'll show it to no one.

I'll guard it with great care as a memory of madame.

Would madame say my name?

It's not such a nice name, but madame says it so nicely.

Will madame say it one last time?

Oh, God must have given me another man's heart!

Valet, 38, good refs, seeks position with BACHELOR. Write: Désiré.