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1
00:00:09,211 --> 00:00:11,841
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:46,709
Sorry about that.
What do I owe you?
3
00:00:48,002 --> 00:00:50,292
Uh, 22.42.
4
00:00:50,294 --> 00:00:51,594
For one pizza?
5
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,875
( laughs )
By God.
6
00:00:53,877 --> 00:00:55,837
Better be
goddamn delicious.
7
00:00:55,835 --> 00:00:58,205
Um, one second.
8
00:01:04,336 --> 00:01:07,206
Come on, wallet.
9
00:01:07,211 --> 00:01:10,671
I'm sorry, you could
come in and shut the door.
It's freezing out there.
10
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:27,212
( sighs )
I'm sorry. Stupid wallet.
What's your name?
11
00:01:27,211 --> 00:01:29,461
- Jarod.
- Jarod.
12
00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:32,500
I am such a nincompoop.
( chuckles )
13
00:01:32,502 --> 00:01:36,292
So, you probably got, like,
a hundred pizzas in the car
that need delivering, right?
14
00:01:39,086 --> 00:01:42,836
Uh, no, it's fine.
Just, you know, need to
get back when I can.
15
00:01:42,835 --> 00:01:45,665
Man:
Right.
Come on, wallet. No!
16
00:01:45,668 --> 00:01:51,588
Wallet, wallet, wallet,
wallet, wallet, wallet,
wallet, wallet, wallet!
17
00:01:51,585 --> 00:01:53,745
Ah, two seconds.
18
00:01:53,752 --> 00:01:55,962
Make yourself at home.
19
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,090
Um...
20
00:02:20,211 --> 00:02:21,921
Got it! All right.
21
00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:24,499
22-something--
son of a...
22
00:02:25,835 --> 00:02:27,455
- ( sighs )
- Oop.
23
00:02:27,460 --> 00:02:29,670
Perfect time
to run out of cash, right?
24
00:02:29,668 --> 00:02:32,168
Look at me wasting your time.
The prime of your youth.
25
00:02:32,169 --> 00:02:35,419
Sending you on a wild
goose chase for dollars
that don't exist.
26
00:02:35,418 --> 00:02:36,958
- It's fine.
- Man: Honey.
27
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,000
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah. Do you have any cash?
28
00:02:39,002 --> 00:02:41,132
- You know I don't carry cash.
- I know you don't carry cash.
29
00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:44,457
Why would you carry cash
when you just take it from
my wallet whenever you need it?
30
00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:46,710
Um, all right, Jarod,
here's the deal.
31
00:02:46,710 --> 00:02:48,040
There's a cash machine
down the street.
32
00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:51,004
I will be back
in four minutes,
five tops.
33
00:02:51,002 --> 00:02:53,002
It's all right,
you can trust me.
34
00:02:53,002 --> 00:02:55,172
I'll even leave my wife
as collateral, all right?
35
00:02:55,169 --> 00:02:58,129
Um, you know, you can
just call a credit card in.
36
00:02:58,127 --> 00:03:01,037
No, no, no, that's silly
'cause then they tax your tip
37
00:03:01,044 --> 00:03:02,344
'cause you have to
declare it.
38
00:03:02,336 --> 00:03:03,996
Believe me,
I know the drill.
39
00:03:04,002 --> 00:03:05,842
- I'll be right back.
- It's really not that--
40
00:03:05,835 --> 00:03:07,835
honestly, the card...
( clears throat )
41
00:03:09,377 --> 00:03:11,667
Woman:
Can I get your help
with something?
42
00:03:16,002 --> 00:03:17,672
Sure.
43
00:03:17,668 --> 00:03:19,998
In here.
44
00:03:36,252 --> 00:03:38,042
Do you like
this dress?
45
00:03:39,835 --> 00:03:43,165
Uh, yes.
46
00:03:43,169 --> 00:03:45,629
( chuckles )
That rhymes.
47
00:03:45,627 --> 00:03:48,037
- What-- what rhymes?
- Yes, dress.
48
00:03:48,044 --> 00:03:49,844
Oh, yeah, mm-hmm.
49
00:03:49,835 --> 00:03:52,205
Yeah, it does, huh?
( inhales )
50
00:03:54,627 --> 00:03:56,207
Did you prefer
the other one?
51
00:03:58,418 --> 00:04:02,378
- What?
- Did you like the other dress
I was wearing before
52
00:04:02,377 --> 00:04:03,877
better than this one?
53
00:04:06,377 --> 00:04:08,037
Which-- which dress?
54
00:04:15,752 --> 00:04:17,592
You know, this one.
55
00:04:21,752 --> 00:04:23,422
( exhales )
56
00:04:23,418 --> 00:04:26,878
I, uh-- I don't know.
( sniffs )
57
00:04:26,877 --> 00:04:28,957
You don't know?
58
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,130
Because you've never
seen it on me before?
59
00:04:34,377 --> 00:04:37,957
Or because you were
looking at my breasts
when I took it off
60
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,670
and you didn't focus
on the dress?
( chuckles )
61
00:04:41,668 --> 00:04:43,918
- ( chuckles )
- That rhymes, too.
62
00:04:43,919 --> 00:04:47,419
- Breasts, dress.
- Yes. ( chuckles )
63
00:04:47,418 --> 00:04:49,248
Well, which is it?
64
00:04:52,044 --> 00:04:52,924
What?
65
00:04:54,543 --> 00:04:56,383
Okay, that's all
I needed.
66
00:04:56,377 --> 00:04:57,747
You can go now.
67
00:05:00,877 --> 00:05:02,837
If you want.
68
00:05:05,627 --> 00:05:08,417
( stammers )
69
00:05:08,418 --> 00:05:09,838
( clears throat )
70
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:12,747
( exhales )
71
00:05:13,919 --> 00:05:16,419
I'm gonna try on
a third dress,
72
00:05:16,418 --> 00:05:18,338
but this time,
no peeking.
73
00:05:19,627 --> 00:05:21,087
Okay.
74
00:05:21,086 --> 00:05:22,746
- I said no peeking.
- I'm not!
75
00:05:22,752 --> 00:05:24,962
Ho dare you look at me.
Look away!
76
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,250
- I am!
- Jarod!
77
00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:30,710
That's better.
78
00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:34,090
So long as
you're not looking,
79
00:05:34,086 --> 00:05:35,626
it's okay.
80
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,170
( door closes )
81
00:05:55,294 --> 00:05:56,884
Do you want
some of that pizza?
82
00:05:56,877 --> 00:05:58,917
No, thanks.
83
00:05:58,919 --> 00:06:00,879
We're not
gonna eat it, so.
84
00:06:04,919 --> 00:06:07,039
If you're--
if you're not gonna eat it,
85
00:06:07,044 --> 00:06:10,134
why did you order it?
86
00:06:10,127 --> 00:06:12,997
- ( chuckles )
That's a good question.
- ( music playing on phone )
87
00:06:15,627 --> 00:06:17,207
It's not that
I don't like pizza.
88
00:06:21,002 --> 00:06:22,252
I love it.
89
00:06:24,044 --> 00:06:25,594
It's just...
90
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,590
when all you ever have
is pizza...
91
00:06:31,044 --> 00:06:32,924
you get tired of it.
92
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,337
Makes you want
something new.
93
00:06:37,502 --> 00:06:39,002
Something different.
94
00:06:45,294 --> 00:06:47,884
And your--
your husband,
95
00:06:47,877 --> 00:06:50,377
how does he feel
about pizza?
96
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:54,837
I don't think
Scott's been hungry
in a long, long time.
97
00:06:54,835 --> 00:06:56,205
In fact...
98
00:06:57,710 --> 00:06:59,210
I don't think
Scott would notice
99
00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:01,751
if a nice piece of pizza
came right up and bit him.
100
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,090
( chuckles )
101
00:07:07,336 --> 00:07:10,916
Must be weird delivering pizza
to all these strange people.
102
00:07:12,252 --> 00:07:14,462
Sometimes.
103
00:07:14,460 --> 00:07:18,130
Have you ever had
any strange encounters?
104
00:07:23,668 --> 00:07:25,418
Not really.
105
00:07:25,418 --> 00:07:29,378
Well, I have a hard time
believing that.
106
00:07:29,377 --> 00:07:31,537
A guy like you...
107
00:07:32,668 --> 00:07:35,418
Have you ever served pizza
108
00:07:35,418 --> 00:07:40,038
to, say, a woman
like me before?
109
00:07:43,294 --> 00:07:48,294
I-- I mean,
I've served pizza before.
110
00:07:48,294 --> 00:07:50,174
You have?
111
00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:52,499
Yeah.
Yeah, of course, yeah.
112
00:07:52,502 --> 00:07:54,502
How many times?
113
00:07:54,502 --> 00:07:57,292
Sure, uh...
( clears throat )
114
00:07:59,294 --> 00:08:02,134
A bunch.
A bunch of times.
115
00:08:03,794 --> 00:08:06,134
Interesting.
116
00:08:06,127 --> 00:08:08,037
Experienced.
117
00:08:08,044 --> 00:08:09,964
Yeah, a bunch of times.
118
00:08:11,377 --> 00:08:13,917
You haven't answered
my question.
119
00:08:13,919 --> 00:08:14,959
What question?
120
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,380
Have you ever
served pizza
121
00:08:18,377 --> 00:08:20,917
to a woman like me
before?
122
00:08:27,169 --> 00:08:28,999
No, ma'am.
123
00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:32,627
So, here we are.
124
00:08:33,794 --> 00:08:36,044
So hungry.
125
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:39,875
( exhales )
126
00:08:41,418 --> 00:08:44,668
Are you gonna bring me
that pizza or what?
127
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,290
I want that pizza,
Jarod.
128
00:08:52,418 --> 00:08:54,338
I ordered that pizza,
129
00:08:54,336 --> 00:08:57,666
and now I'm ordering you
to bring me that pizza.
130
00:09:56,627 --> 00:09:58,457
- ( door thuds )
- Whew!
131
00:09:58,460 --> 00:10:01,130
- ( door closes )
- Damn, it is cold out there.
132
00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,250
Colder than
a witch's titty.
133
00:10:04,252 --> 00:10:08,042
Man!
But I got it.
134
00:10:08,044 --> 00:10:12,594
22-something
and a huge tip
for Jarod!
135
00:10:12,585 --> 00:10:15,785
Could you have taken
any longer, Scott?
136
00:10:15,794 --> 00:10:17,384
What?
137
00:10:17,377 --> 00:10:19,957
Wait, Jennifer,
where are you--
where are you--
138
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,630
Jen, come back.
139
00:10:21,627 --> 00:10:23,087
Don't!
140
00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:29,502
- What did I say?
- ( blows raspberry )
141
00:10:29,502 --> 00:10:31,502
Jeez, I went to the ATM.
What...?
142
00:10:33,752 --> 00:10:37,172
I mean...
( sighs )
143
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:39,839
( scoffing )
144
00:10:45,794 --> 00:10:47,254
Women, huh?
145
00:10:49,002 --> 00:10:52,002
( sighs )
You can't live
with 'em...
146
00:10:52,002 --> 00:10:53,792
Pass the Beer Nuts.
147
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,170
You got a girlfriend,
Jarod?
148
00:11:05,377 --> 00:11:06,957
Uh, no, thanks.
149
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,670
I-- I really gotta
get back to work.
150
00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:12,038
Yeah.
( chuckles )
151
00:11:12,044 --> 00:11:16,004
You two sure know
how to make a guy
feel good about himself.
152
00:11:16,002 --> 00:11:20,172
It's like I come in,
two seconds, you're
both running out
153
00:11:20,169 --> 00:11:22,169
quicker than two shakes
of a lamb's tail.
154
00:11:24,794 --> 00:11:26,424
I'm-- I'm sorry.
It's not personal.
155
00:11:26,418 --> 00:11:28,038
I just really gotta
get back to work.
156
00:11:28,044 --> 00:11:30,344
I'm kidding.
It's fine.
157
00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:34,340
( sighs )
It's fine.
158
00:11:39,169 --> 00:11:40,789
( clears throat )
159
00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:46,837
I do kind of need
the money for the pizza.
160
00:11:46,835 --> 00:11:49,495
( chuckles )
161
00:11:49,502 --> 00:11:52,092
Yes, money.
162
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:54,246
22-something,
plus a tip,
163
00:11:54,252 --> 00:11:56,422
which should be sizable
164
00:11:56,418 --> 00:11:59,588
- considering we've been wasting
your time lollygagging.
- ( phone chimes )
165
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:02,665
No, it's no problem.
Don't sweat it.
( sniffs )
166
00:12:02,668 --> 00:12:05,588
Ah, a text
from Jennifer.
167
00:12:05,585 --> 00:12:08,035
Probably apologizing
as we speak.
168
00:12:09,211 --> 00:12:10,381
Great.
169
00:12:19,002 --> 00:12:21,542
How big of a tip
were you expecting, Jarod?
170
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,337
Excuse me?
171
00:12:26,710 --> 00:12:28,540
Just curious what you think
I should tip you.
172
00:12:29,877 --> 00:12:33,917
Just whatever you think
is appropriate is fine.
173
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,209
Well, I guess
I don't-- I don't know
what's customary--
174
00:12:36,211 --> 00:12:39,041
- 10%, 20%?
- Sure, yeah,
either one.
175
00:12:39,044 --> 00:12:41,544
That'd-- that'd be great.
Thank you.
176
00:12:43,752 --> 00:12:47,792
I guess it would help if
I understood what services
you performed
177
00:12:47,794 --> 00:12:49,674
so that I can get
the amount right.
178
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:53,418
I delivered the pizza.
179
00:12:53,418 --> 00:12:55,288
What kind of pizza?
180
00:12:57,543 --> 00:13:01,253
- ( swallows )
The meat lovers.
- Right, meat lovers.
181
00:13:01,252 --> 00:13:03,042
Right.
182
00:13:03,044 --> 00:13:05,884
Did you provide
any services for my wife
while I was gone?
183
00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:11,708
- Not really.
- Really?
184
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,091
Nothing?
185
00:13:16,794 --> 00:13:19,134
Uh... no.
186
00:13:19,127 --> 00:13:22,127
'Cause it would seem to me
that the pizza,
187
00:13:22,127 --> 00:13:24,287
which was on the table
when I left,
188
00:13:24,294 --> 00:13:27,134
is now...
( whistles )
189
00:13:27,127 --> 00:13:30,337
on the bed instead.
190
00:13:30,336 --> 00:13:31,786
Huh.
191
00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:33,254
I guess...
192
00:13:33,252 --> 00:13:36,292
- that is--
- Hey, that rhymes.
193
00:13:38,211 --> 00:13:40,841
Instead, bed.
194
00:13:45,543 --> 00:13:49,293
Did you deliver
the meat lovers
to my wife on that bed?
195
00:13:52,086 --> 00:13:52,956
Sort of.
196
00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:55,838
Sort of?
197
00:13:59,336 --> 00:14:01,536
Jarod, I am no expert
in what you do,
198
00:14:01,543 --> 00:14:03,423
but it would
seem to me
199
00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:08,128
either you did or did not
serve my wife the meat lover
200
00:14:08,127 --> 00:14:10,037
on that bed.
201
00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:17,250
Gosh, I have gotta
get back to work.
202
00:14:17,252 --> 00:14:21,002
- I got so many
others to deliver.
- That would not be fair.
203
00:14:22,502 --> 00:14:23,962
I wanna pay you
for your services,
204
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,920
I just need to know
what they were
205
00:14:25,919 --> 00:14:27,959
so that I can give you
the proper tip.
206
00:14:31,502 --> 00:14:34,342
- Can I just go home?
- Not until I tip you.
207
00:14:34,336 --> 00:14:36,666
( exhales )
208
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:39,288
- All right.
- ( stammering )
209
00:14:39,294 --> 00:14:41,504
Let me
put it this way--
210
00:14:41,502 --> 00:14:44,252
how many times
did you fuck my wife?
211
00:14:46,835 --> 00:14:49,415
Oh-- oh, my gosh, sir.
I-- I did not.
212
00:14:49,418 --> 00:14:52,628
- I would never.
- What-- what are you saying,
my wife is ugly?
213
00:14:52,627 --> 00:14:54,497
- No, no.
- So, you're saying she's hot?
214
00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:56,342
No, I didn't say that.
I didn't say that.
215
00:14:56,336 --> 00:14:58,336
So, you just
fuck anything, then, right?
Is that your deal?
216
00:14:58,336 --> 00:15:01,666
You just go around
delivering meat lovers pizzas
willy-nilly wherever you go?
217
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,538
No, no, no,
I did not say that.
218
00:15:03,543 --> 00:15:05,093
- Didn't do it a second time?
- I didn't do a first time.
219
00:15:05,086 --> 00:15:06,586
- Why not?
She didn't ask you?
- No.
220
00:15:06,585 --> 00:15:07,835
So, she asked you
to fuck her?
221
00:15:07,835 --> 00:15:10,375
Just give me
the number, Jarod.
222
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,337
- Jarod!
- I didn't touch her! Ah!
223
00:15:12,336 --> 00:15:14,166
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Help!
224
00:15:14,169 --> 00:15:16,539
Help! Help! Ow!
225
00:15:16,543 --> 00:15:18,713
( grunting )
Help!
226
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,959
( whimpering )
227
00:15:25,086 --> 00:15:26,336
Ah!
228
00:15:26,336 --> 00:15:27,956
( grunting )
229
00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:30,714
Help! Help!
230
00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:33,880
Oh, my God. Oh, fuck.
( panting )
231
00:15:33,877 --> 00:15:36,207
( groaning )
232
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:40,750
No, no, no!
233
00:15:44,585 --> 00:15:45,455
( grunts )
234
00:15:48,752 --> 00:15:51,042
( exhales )
235
00:15:51,044 --> 00:15:53,424
- ( chimes )
- ( music playing
over stereo )
236
00:15:55,086 --> 00:15:57,746
( panting )
237
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,880
Relax, Jarod.
238
00:16:03,418 --> 00:16:04,788
Relax.
239
00:16:04,794 --> 00:16:07,594
I'm not gonna hurt you.
240
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,170
In fact, I like you.
( chuckles )
241
00:16:11,169 --> 00:16:14,709
I mean, that's the whole
"you know" of it all
242
00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:18,290
is I liked you
from the second
I opened that door.
243
00:16:18,294 --> 00:16:19,594
So...
244
00:16:21,794 --> 00:16:23,594
I'm gonna make it easy
on you.
245
00:16:26,294 --> 00:16:28,634
Either you tell me
246
00:16:28,627 --> 00:16:32,587
the number of times
you fucked my wife,
247
00:16:32,585 --> 00:16:33,665
or...
248
00:16:35,919 --> 00:16:38,999
I'm gonna beat
the living shit out of you.
249
00:16:39,002 --> 00:16:41,252
Oh, my God.
250
00:16:41,252 --> 00:16:42,792
Hmm?
251
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:45,504
♪ Ain't no two ways
about it... ♪
252
00:16:45,502 --> 00:16:47,502
- Need that number, Jarod.
- ( whimpers ) Oh, my God.
253
00:16:47,502 --> 00:16:49,842
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Why are you-- please stop.
254
00:16:49,835 --> 00:16:52,285
Just give me that number.
I will give you your
22-something,
255
00:16:52,294 --> 00:16:53,544
plus your fair tip.
256
00:16:53,543 --> 00:16:55,003
There's no number,
there's no number.
257
00:16:55,002 --> 00:16:57,382
Help!
Help, help!
258
00:16:57,377 --> 00:16:59,497
- I will untie you...
- Help!
259
00:16:59,502 --> 00:17:02,672
- ...and you can
go back to work.
- Help! Help!
260
00:17:02,668 --> 00:17:04,878
- Help! Oh, my God.
- ( imitates whip )
261
00:17:06,169 --> 00:17:08,129
- Partner.
- No, no! Ow!
262
00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:09,957
- ( gasps )
- Huh?
263
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,790
- I didn't, I didn't, I didn't!
- I need that number, Jarod.
264
00:17:12,794 --> 00:17:14,964
There's no number!
I swear, I didn't touch her!
265
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,210
I didn't touch her.
I didn't touch her.
266
00:17:16,211 --> 00:17:17,671
I didn't touch her!
None!
267
00:17:17,668 --> 00:17:19,588
I didn't do it!
I didn't touch her!
268
00:17:19,585 --> 00:17:22,165
( crying )
I didn't touch her.
I didn't touch her.
269
00:17:22,169 --> 00:17:24,039
( panting )
270
00:17:26,627 --> 00:17:29,747
I'm not gonna
get mad, okay?
271
00:17:29,752 --> 00:17:31,382
I'm not.
272
00:17:31,377 --> 00:17:32,997
I'm not gonna get mad.
273
00:17:34,877 --> 00:17:36,877
( gasps )
274
00:17:36,877 --> 00:17:38,957
How many times?
275
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,460
- ( shudders )
- ( door opens )
276
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,920
What are you doing?
277
00:17:42,919 --> 00:17:44,879
- Ah, there she is.
- Help!
278
00:17:44,877 --> 00:17:47,377
- Why is he tied up?
- He told me everything.
279
00:17:47,377 --> 00:17:49,837
- What are you talking about?
- Don't you play dumb
with me, woman.
280
00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:52,535
I know about the sucking
and the fucking
281
00:17:52,543 --> 00:17:54,633
and the long distance
trucking.
282
00:17:54,627 --> 00:17:56,287
The whole shebang,
Mama Joe!
283
00:17:56,294 --> 00:17:58,214
Help! Help! Untie me.
He's gone crazy!
284
00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,711
- Oh, I'm crazy?
- Yeah!
285
00:17:59,710 --> 00:18:02,040
I leave the room
for seven fucking minutes
286
00:18:02,044 --> 00:18:04,174
- and this
is what happens...
- Scott.
287
00:18:04,169 --> 00:18:06,669
- ...and I'm the crazy one.
- This is insane.
Let him go.
288
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,918
- ( music stops )
- Jarod: You gotta
call the police!
289
00:18:08,919 --> 00:18:10,339
Help!
290
00:18:10,336 --> 00:18:12,416
Shh, all right.
291
00:18:12,418 --> 00:18:14,748
( panting )
292
00:18:16,585 --> 00:18:19,085
( exhales, inhales )
293
00:18:19,086 --> 00:18:21,956
- I will let him go.
- Thank you.
294
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,380
( sighs )
295
00:18:24,752 --> 00:18:26,672
But first,
296
00:18:26,668 --> 00:18:28,668
- I will take down
his pants...
- No!
297
00:18:28,668 --> 00:18:30,588
- No! Help!
- ...assuming his meat lover
298
00:18:30,585 --> 00:18:32,245
- doesn't smell like
your meat lover...
- Help!
299
00:18:32,252 --> 00:18:34,792
- ...I will let him go.
- Stop it! Enough!
300
00:18:37,252 --> 00:18:40,422
- ( exhales ) Thank you.
- You told him about us?
301
00:18:40,418 --> 00:18:41,378
What?
302
00:18:41,377 --> 00:18:43,037
How could you?
303
00:18:43,044 --> 00:18:45,094
Jarod:
I didn't--
I didn't say anything.
304
00:18:45,086 --> 00:18:47,876
That was special.
That was just for us.
305
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,167
I didn't-- I didn't say a word.
I didn't tell him anything.
306
00:18:50,169 --> 00:18:52,459
- He's right, he didn't.
- There's nothing to tell!
307
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:54,000
- I figured it out.
- Oh, my God.
308
00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:56,792
- I knew it.
- What do you expect, Scott?
309
00:18:56,794 --> 00:19:00,294
I expected you to honor
our marriage vows
310
00:19:00,294 --> 00:19:02,924
and not fuck
the first pizza boy
who came through the door!
311
00:19:02,919 --> 00:19:04,789
- You drove me to him!
- What?!
312
00:19:04,794 --> 00:19:07,634
- But nothing happened!
- I go to Pilates, I do yoga!
313
00:19:07,627 --> 00:19:11,127
- What? ( scoffs )
- I even went to that goddamn
facialist you recommended.
314
00:19:11,127 --> 00:19:13,957
- Again with the facialist!
- And you give me nothing!
315
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:18,040
You look at me
like a used veneer
316
00:19:18,044 --> 00:19:21,294
pine IKEA desk
from craigslist!
317
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:24,004
Okay, Scott, Scott,
nothing happened, I swear.
318
00:19:24,002 --> 00:19:26,632
- You goddamn slut.
- You selfish son of a bitch.
319
00:19:26,627 --> 00:19:28,707
My mother told me
I was marrying a whore!
320
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:31,380
- You treat me like dirt!
- Showing your titties
all over town!
321
00:19:31,377 --> 00:19:33,997
Now I'm gonna
make you pay for it!
( grunts )
322
00:19:34,002 --> 00:19:37,002
Okay, everybody
just needs to calm down.
323
00:19:37,002 --> 00:19:39,542
- ( screams )
- ( both grunting )
324
00:19:39,543 --> 00:19:41,423
Guys. Guys!
325
00:19:41,418 --> 00:19:43,458
Help!
Somebody help!
326
00:19:43,460 --> 00:19:46,380
- ( Jennifer gasps )
- There's one of those
slutty titties.
327
00:19:46,377 --> 00:19:47,787
See that, Jarod? Huh?
328
00:19:47,794 --> 00:19:49,384
- Wanna see the other one?
- No. No.
329
00:19:49,377 --> 00:19:51,337
- No!
- ( Jennifer grunts )
330
00:19:51,336 --> 00:19:52,996
- ( laughing )
- Oh, God.
331
00:19:53,002 --> 00:19:54,502
- Oh, God.
- There they are.
332
00:19:54,502 --> 00:19:55,672
Look at 'em.
333
00:19:55,668 --> 00:19:56,838
- Remember these, huh?
- No!
334
00:19:56,835 --> 00:19:58,245
Remember when
you fondled these titties
335
00:19:58,252 --> 00:19:59,502
and broke
my fragile heart?
336
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,342
I never fondled
any titties. Help!
337
00:20:01,336 --> 00:20:03,376
It's 'cause you wanted Scott
all along, isn't it, Jarod?
338
00:20:03,377 --> 00:20:04,837
- Help! Wait.
- That's right.
339
00:20:04,835 --> 00:20:06,875
You used me to get
to Scott, didn't you?
340
00:20:06,877 --> 00:20:08,667
- No!
- Scott: Yeah!
341
00:20:08,668 --> 00:20:11,918
- Yeah, that's right.
- He used you to get to me.
342
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:12,879
That's what happened.
343
00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:16,709
- Jennifer: Yeah.
- Help! Help!
344
00:20:16,710 --> 00:20:18,290
- Jarod: No!
- ( grunts )
345
00:20:18,294 --> 00:20:20,044
- ( whimpers )
- Over here, Jarod.
346
00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:21,884
- It's what you wanted.
- Scott: Look over here.
347
00:20:21,877 --> 00:20:23,627
- Here's your tip,
meat lover.
- No, thanks.
348
00:20:23,627 --> 00:20:25,087
- Look at me.
- Look at us, Jarod.
349
00:20:25,086 --> 00:20:26,836
- Look at Daddy.
- Help! Somebody help!
350
00:20:26,835 --> 00:20:29,415
- Look at Mommy!
Oh, my God!
- Please help!
351
00:20:29,418 --> 00:20:30,878
- Both: Oh, God!
- Oh, God.
352
00:20:30,877 --> 00:20:32,287
- Oh, God!
- ( moans )
353
00:20:32,294 --> 00:20:33,964
- ( moaning )
- Oh, God, oh, God!
354
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,540
Oh, God! Oh, God!
355
00:20:45,710 --> 00:20:47,590
( music playing )
356
00:21:12,086 --> 00:21:15,626
That was not half bad
for your first time.
357
00:21:15,627 --> 00:21:17,167
( exhales )
358
00:21:17,169 --> 00:21:19,129
- Bill.
- Sir?
359
00:21:19,127 --> 00:21:21,917
You did a good job
of making me feel uneasy.
360
00:21:21,919 --> 00:21:23,459
( chuckles )
361
00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:25,840
Where you lost me was
in the characterization.
362
00:21:25,835 --> 00:21:28,285
I mean,
you started off as this
somewhat cosmopolitan weirdo
363
00:21:28,294 --> 00:21:32,504
and then digressed into this--
I mean, you tell me, buddy--
a Southern dad?
364
00:21:32,502 --> 00:21:34,292
It was all over the place.
365
00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:36,844
Yeah, I had trouble
finding the character.
366
00:21:36,835 --> 00:21:40,085
Make bold choices
and stick with them.
367
00:21:40,086 --> 00:21:42,496
- Yes, sir.
- Now, Lisa.
368
00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:44,792
( whistles )
369
00:21:44,794 --> 00:21:46,964
- Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.
- ( lighter clicking )
370
00:21:51,835 --> 00:21:53,955
We do have to talk
about those breasts.
371
00:21:55,627 --> 00:21:56,877
Sweetheart,
I've been to the Louvre,
372
00:21:56,877 --> 00:21:59,497
and those things
are the fucking Mona Lisa.
373
00:21:59,502 --> 00:22:01,252
Thank you.
374
00:22:01,252 --> 00:22:03,002
But I gotta say
375
00:22:03,002 --> 00:22:06,752
I think your choice
to show them to me so soon
after I came in the room,
376
00:22:06,752 --> 00:22:08,292
that was a mistake.
377
00:22:08,294 --> 00:22:10,344
'Cause here's
what you gotta understand--
378
00:22:10,336 --> 00:22:12,336
most of our clients--
379
00:22:12,336 --> 00:22:13,956
I mean, hell,
all our clients--
380
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,290
are major voyeurs.
381
00:22:15,294 --> 00:22:16,794
Okay?
382
00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:18,594
So, I mean, you're gonna
wanna hold that off
383
00:22:18,585 --> 00:22:22,835
for as long as you can.
384
00:22:22,835 --> 00:22:25,495
- That's your trump card.
- Yes, sir.
385
00:22:25,502 --> 00:22:26,502
Understood.
386
00:22:28,294 --> 00:22:30,594
Mm!
387
00:22:30,585 --> 00:22:31,995
Almost forgot.
388
00:22:34,336 --> 00:22:37,836
- What's this?
- I-- I thought this was
just an audition.
389
00:22:37,835 --> 00:22:39,835
Well, you worked hard.
You earned it.
390
00:22:41,919 --> 00:22:43,629
- All righty.
- Great.
391
00:22:43,627 --> 00:22:45,247
Get yourselves
and this place cleaned up.
392
00:22:45,252 --> 00:22:49,422
Your first client
will be here-- holy shit--
any minute now.
393
00:22:49,418 --> 00:22:51,288
We'll run
the pizza boy sketch again.
394
00:22:51,294 --> 00:22:54,344
Take my notes,
implement them.
395
00:22:54,336 --> 00:22:56,126
You're gonna do great.
396
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:00,539
( door closes )
397
00:23:03,044 --> 00:23:05,254
( exhales )
398
00:23:06,543 --> 00:23:08,383
( knocking on door )
399
00:23:08,377 --> 00:23:10,167
Just a second!
400
00:23:10,169 --> 00:23:11,709
( music playing )
401
00:23:24,294 --> 00:23:25,754
( knocking continues )
402
00:23:26,877 --> 00:23:28,247
Be right there.
403
00:23:32,543 --> 00:23:34,343
( knocking continues )
404
00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:40,915
( exhales )
405
00:23:43,543 --> 00:23:46,713
Sorry about that.
What do I owe you?
406
00:23:46,710 --> 00:23:48,920
( music playing )
407
00:23:50,585 --> 00:23:53,745
♪ I don't have to
hang out ♪
408
00:23:53,752 --> 00:23:56,752
♪ At some old
redneck roadhouse ♪
409
00:23:56,752 --> 00:24:01,092
♪ Spending up my money,
shooting 'em down ♪
410
00:24:02,752 --> 00:24:06,422
♪ 'Cause I found
something better ♪
411
00:24:06,418 --> 00:24:09,088
♪ Lord,
I swear I never ♪
412
00:24:09,086 --> 00:24:13,206
♪ Thought love could feel
as right as it feels now ♪
413
00:24:15,211 --> 00:24:19,291
♪ Ain't no two ways
about it ♪
414
00:24:19,294 --> 00:24:22,254
♪ I can't live
without it ♪
415
00:24:22,252 --> 00:24:26,632
♪ Her love just gets sweeter
every day ♪
416
00:24:27,752 --> 00:24:31,342
♪ Oh, endless TLC ♪
417
00:24:31,336 --> 00:24:34,286
♪ That's her philosophy ♪
418
00:24:34,294 --> 00:24:37,344
♪ Ain't no two ways
about it ♪
419
00:24:37,336 --> 00:24:40,246
♪ She's the one
for me. ♪
420
00:24:48,835 --> 00:24:50,535
MAN: Here lies a door.
421
00:24:50,752 --> 00:24:53,592
Beyond it lies something
wonderful.
422
00:24:53,585 --> 00:24:54,375
(SHOUTS)
423
00:24:55,002 --> 00:24:56,462
-♪ (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(CLOCK TICKING)
424
00:25:00,877 --> 00:25:01,957
(LAUGHING)
425
00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:04,134
♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪
426
00:25:04,127 --> 00:25:04,997
(GRUNTS)
427
00:25:05,543 --> 00:25:08,093
MAN: This is the moment
to enter the unknown.
428
00:25:08,543 --> 00:25:10,293
Something feels
seriously off.
429
00:25:10,585 --> 00:25:13,665
If you stop, it could
damage your soul.
430
00:25:13,668 --> 00:25:16,998
You are about to transcend.
Are you ready?
431
00:25:18,460 --> 00:25:19,380
Absolutely.
432
00:25:19,919 --> 00:25:21,289
-(CLOCK TICKING)
-♪ (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
433
00:25:21,294 --> 00:25:22,674
MAN:
There's a good side to this...
434
00:25:23,002 --> 00:25:24,002
(SCREAMING)
435
00:25:24,169 --> 00:25:26,039
...and a bad side.
29128
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