All language subtitles for the_sex_thief_full_xx

Did I disturb you? I should scream.

I shan't give you a moment.

Don't do that. You might disturb the
neighbors.

I must compliment you on your good
taste, by the way. You have such

objects.

I particularly like the Picasso
lithographs in the hall.

However, of all the beautiful objects, I
must say you are by far the most

beautiful.

I shall scream.

Later.

It was awful.

Sorry about that. I caught it off the
wife.

Nothing more you can think of that might
be of any help, Mrs. Barron?

Oh, it was awful, seeing him standing
there like that.

If only I'd been here to protect you.

I'm on night this week, you see.

I do voluntary social work, looking
after inadequates.

Yes, I see.

Now, if I can just recap.

I was awakened at about 2 .30 a .m. by a
noise. I got up to investigate. I went

into the dining room and switched on the
light. I saw a man standing there by

the window going through the silver.

That's right.

I didn't know what to do.

Then we come on to your description of
the man.

He wore a small black velvet mask,
ginger hair, height about six feet four,

stocky build, shallow complexion, age
somewhere between 40 and 50, spoke with

Russian accent.

He pushed past me, seized my jewel case,
and ran out of the flat.

Please, Constable, my wife's recovering
from a very nasty shock.

Right, then.

Your husband's given me a list of your
jewelry.

I dare say you'll be hearing from us
pretty quick.

In the meantime, if you do happen to
remember anything else, you know where

are.

Good day, madam.

Every description different.

These jewel robberies.

It must be a gang operation.

Or a master disguise.

Well, who could disguise himself as a
club -footed, coloured midget one week

a six -foot -six Russian with a hair lit
the next?

High -to -work actor, maybe?

Seven burglaries in three months, almost
the same trademark, and yet seven

totally different descriptions.

The old man's doing his nut in the
identity kit, boys aren't even talking

They think I'm having them on.

So what do you want me to check on?

Multiracial gangs or out -of -work
actors?

I'll check myself.

The latest victim.

What's her name?

Mrs Barrow?

Yeah.

Well, come on!

I do have this latest consignment of
dodgy magazines to check, sir.

We're in the middle of a bloody crime
wave and they keep pinching my men for

pornography squad.

Can't you just leave that for a moment?

The plinth!

Would you be with me, sir? I could
always work on it in the car.

Oh, it was awful, awful.

I kept protesting, of course, but he
just kept saying, Niat, Niat, and that

dreadful grating accent.

What makes you think it was Russian,
Mrs. Barrow?

Oh, I couldn't be sure. I mean, he could
have been Serbo -Croat or something, or

even Icelandic, but he gave that, well,
impression.

Yes.

I do hope I'm being helpful.

Oh, yes, yes.

Tell me, you did say it was 2 .30 a .m.
this happened.

Tell me, why didn't you call the police
before six in the morning?

Oh, was it that long?

I mean, I was distressed. I was fraught.

And that's when my husband came home.

Yes. I do social work at night, you see.

Looking after inadequates.

I see.

And that's when you felt sufficiently
recovered from the shock to focus.

Exactly.

Thank you, Mrs. Barrow.

Mr. Barrow, that's all we need to know
for now.

I might need to question you again
later.

Yes, of course. I'll do anything I can
to help. They're a beast to put behind

bars. Well, from what you've told us, he
may be the subject of an extradition

order.

We'll see. Sergeant Plinth?

Sir? I don't think we'll get much more
from Mrs. Barrow.

Is the insurance investigator here?

Yes, sir. I left her out in the hall
with the reporter.

I think I'll have a word with her.

Yes, sir.

All right, you can come in now.

Inspector Smith's finished.

The inspector'd like to work with you.

Not bad for an insurance investigator,
eh?

She could settle my claim any time.

You reporters, you're all the same,
aren't you?

Sex mad.

Go on, if you want to finish your
interview.

Thanks.

That's not bad, either.

Well, you couldn't blame anyone for
snatching her ring, could you?

Sorry for that interruption, Mrs.
Barrow.

Must let the guardians of the law get on
with their work, mustn't we?

Right. Now, where were we? Ah, yes. You
were saying how you thought pornography

and violence on television was
encouraging this sort of thing.

I thought you said that.

Well, it's the same thing these days,
Mrs. Barrow.

It's all violence.

You know, you were very lucky he only
took your jewellery.

It didn't harm you in any way. Well, he
was in such a rush, you see.

There was an emerald necklace, for
example, valued at over £11 ,000. Mrs

I really don't think it's wise to have
that sort of information printed in a

newspaper. Oh, come on.

I insist it's printed. I don't want him
to think he's got away with everything.

I mean, well, it'll be a comfort to
anyone who reads it to think that

don't take everything.

That's the only reason I want it
printed, I assure you. She's asking for

trouble, you know, saying things like
that to the press, especially Guy

Not much I can do if she wants to invite
another burglary.

Have you found anything?

Same as all the others, not a single
clue.

No progress at all? No.

You?

Let's drown our sorrows, shall we?

It's costing the insurance company a
small fortune.

Five out of the seven burglaries have
been our clients.

Yeah, I remember you thinking there
might be a connection.

One of my more inspired ideas.

Not that it came to anything other than
upsetting half the star.

Didn't exactly please my boss either.

You know, if I don't come up with
something positive soon, I'm going to be

of a job.

You know, Miss Marvin... Please, call me
Judy.

Judy, if I don't solve this case
quickly, I'm going to be in trouble too.

I hear them all whispering now how old
Pratt he would have sold it.

I took Pratt's place when he retired.

Inspector Pratt. Yes, he was quite
famous, wasn't he?

Right.

This is my chance to really prove
myself.

I can't even find a single clue.

Not one.

Not even half a clue.

Never mind, Inspector.

Robert.

No, thanks. I'm afraid I do mind.

I'm sure something will turn up.

You know, Judy...

There's something about you I really
admire.

Tits.

I'm a big tit man myself.

No.

Arses and thighs, that's me.

I had dreams at night about them. Oh,
don't mistake me. I mean, I like arses

thighs too, but tits. You know, great
big ones.

That's really something.

Tell you, when I first joined the force,
I asked to go with the vice squad, but

it's such a long waiting list.

I suppose you must get access to some
pretty hot stuff up there. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, photos and things.

Most of it's under lock and key, of
course, but... No, and again, you

get a quick glimpse.

I'll tell you, the other day, a couple
of boys from the flying squad, they

seized a batch of real hardcore porn
stuff.

I'm trying to smuggle it in through
customs.

Yeah. Well, there was one.

I'll tell you, I've never seen anything
like it before.

There was this on...

What you came for is under here with me.

It's all insured. Good.

Then we'll both get something.

But if you don't mind, I won't stay. I'm
very tired.

I do hope you haven't worn yourself up
breaking and entering. But if you want

them, you've got to take them. No,
really, thank you. I mustn't be too late

back. I have to be up early in the
morning and... You understand?

I'm sure the police would understand.
But, of course, they might not let you

sleep either.

Good morning.

My usual carnation, please.

Just the one, sir. Oh, yes, thank you.

That'll be 10p.

Thank you very much. Good day to you.

God bless.

Ah.

Is he up yet?

Had a late night of it. Dead to the
world when I arrived.

Yes, but is he up? Just about.

Would you like coffee?

No, I wouldn't mind.

Well, I'm glad to hear he's working
again.

Grant always writes his best stuff at
night.

It's all right for you.

I have to transcribe it while he sleeps
all day.

Oh, as long as he brings the work in on
time, I don't care when he sleeps.

What about the latest?

Has it got a title yet?

The Dirty and the Dying, I think.

Hasn't made his mind up yet.

What about the proof of the new cover
design? Has that come through?

No, not yet.

Well, it should have done. It was posted
on Friday.

Well, as far as I know, it hasn't
arrived.

Unless Grant's got them and forgot to
tell me.

Oh, hello, Jacobi.

Thought I heard your dulcet sweet tones.

Hey, listen, did you get those cover
designs through for Virgin Vengeance?

Virgin Vengeance? No. No? Why?

Oh, bloody Arnold, he was supposed to
have posted them on... Hello?

Mr Riddle.

Jackaby here.

Hello, Arnold.

Where the hell have those bloody cover
designs got to?

Yes, I know. You told me you posted them
on Friday.

No. No, well, of course I'm sure. I'm
sitting right here with them now.

Fire and get yourself another one.

If you're going to screw them, screw one
that's efficient.

later this afternoon. He's sending them
round by hand.

Right.

So how many chapters have you got for
me?

As your publisher, I'd say that's
definitely a bestseller.

With a nice advance in royalties, don't
you think?

What it is to be a creative artist.

out to join the club, might have
resigned.

Well, I had a letter to the secretary
written out already.

I say, isn't that Grant Henry, the right
affair?

Yes,

thank you.

Did you know him?

No. I don't go in for reading much. I
browse the Financial Times, and that's

about all. Do you know him, Freddie?

Well, actually, yes.

We went to school together.

Can't remember him as very brave, you
know, I must say. For a chap that writes

books. I see.

Does one actually earn money from that
kind of thing? No idea.

If he always seems to have money, he
probably gets vast sums for film rights.

That's what they say.

I've got an uncle who writes books.

Mainly about pigs.

Don't suppose anybody wants to make a
film about them, no?

He was a jolly good athlete, I remember
that.

My uncle?

No, no.

Grant Henry.

Grant, how are you?

Really? Do jealous.

Do you know Lord Prescott?

No, I don't know.

Talking to us. And Ian Wesley, dear. Oh,
how do you do?

I've heard about you. You write
thrillers, don't you?

Yes. Ah, how jolly thrilling.

You know, I once knew a man who knew Ian
Fleming.

Really? Yes, he was a writer too.

So I believe.

Yes, and he played golf frightfully
well. At least, that's the story I

from the man I knew who knew him.

Yes. Well, my dear chap, how's the world
treating you? Oh, can't complain.

You know, I see your paperbacks on
railway bookstores frequently.

Gathering dust, I'm afraid.

Oh, come on.

Well, you write as own fortunes. It's
the film rhyme. I say, have you ever met

Sophie Loren?

No. Or Jane Fonda?

No.

Oh, pity.

I'm afraid I haven't sold any of my
books to films yet.

When you do, be sure to have them both
in it.

Yes, yes, I'll try.

They're jolly good.

Yes.

My wife, Farinda, reads a lot.

Books and magazines.

I must tell her, I admit to you, she'll
be thrilled.

She reads.

Writing, you know.

It's the best thing to do with it.

Are you still living in the country?

Oh, yes. Well, we all do.

Came up to town tonight with Ian and met
Porky.

We go wrestling together.

You wrestle?

No, no, we watch it.

All over the place.

Shoreditch Town Hall tonight. A
frightfully amusing spot.

Then Ian and I will drive back.

But you're staying.

Yes, we have a small place in town.
Don't keep staff or anything like that.

At Pierre d 'Arterre. You must pop round
sometime.

Florinda would love to meet you. She
loves actors and writers.

That sort of person.

They're not wrestlers.

She prefers to watch it on the telly.

High Park Place.

You must pop round.

Penthouse. Numbers in the book.

I just might do that.

I say, we've got a spare ticket if you'd
like to come along.

You're more than welcome.

Thanks again. But I have to work
tonight.

I promised my publisher I'd have
something for him in the morning.

I mean, you don't have to do that kind
of thing in public.

Well,

quite, darling. I certainly won't go
down there for the weekend again.

I know.

It's when they start doing it in front
of the children that I object.

Not that the oldest is his, anyway.

If he was mine, I certainly wouldn't let
him behave like that. Well, not in

front of the guests, at any rate.

You know me, darling. I'm the last one
to be pussy about, well, things like

that. But when you're at a formal dinner
party and suddenly he gets it out and

starts stirring the soup with it...
Darling,

I, for one, find it most off -putting.

What, honey?

I did believe that story anyway.

I mean, he's much too good a swimmer.

Do you remember that weekend down at
Harriet's?

No, Rodney's Harriet.

That's the one who ran away with the
lesbian waitress from Fortnum's.

That's right.

They ended up in the south of France
just after Stephanie's third abortion.

Fourth, was it?

for the weekend, just after Christmas.

Yes.

Yes, well, anyway, Clive was there.

That is, assuming that she is his
mother.

Well, darling, after what Cynthia
Garnett Lovell told me at Tony's 21st.

Bridge, darling, not birthday.

My husband's downstairs.

I've only got to make the slightest
sound and he'll come running.

I can't believe any husband could allow
such a beautiful woman to go

to bed alone.

The neck is so beautiful, so white, so
firm.

This is madness.

You're a handsome burglar.

I'm an unhappily married woman.

Yes, it is madness.

But you, so exquisite, make me mad.

My husband wouldn't like it.

Your husband's not going to get it.

That's something to go on.

Anything.

I tell you, Sergeant, this man's harder
to catch than Jack the Ripper.

Don't worry, sir. He'll make a mistake.

They always do.

It's not right, you know.

There's no pictures.

There ought to be pictures.

I mean, how else is he supposed to know
what he's on about?

Marvin here.

Hello. I'm afraid our birthing friend
struck again last night.

Or one of them. I'm beginning to think
it must be a gang.

Does your company handle insurance for
Lord Prescott?

No, thank God.

I just had a rocket from my boss, too.

If I don't come up with something
positive soon, I'm going to be out of a

Would it help if I gave him a ring, had
a word with him?

That's very kind of you, Robert, but I
don't think it would have any effect.

You never wanted a woman in the job in
the first place. Now it's...

We seem to be in the same boat.

Well, don't worry. This thief, he'll
make a mistake. They always do.

Well, I only hope he makes it before the
end of next week.

So where's the baton? This is London,
baby, not Rome. Now, come on.

Isabel, will you stop doing that? Why?
They're my clothes, for Christ's sake.

Well, you better start taking better
care of them, baby.

They may have to last you quite a while.

So I get myself another movie. I'm a
star, ain't I?

Sure you're a star.

It's just you can't act.

Listen, boot face.

I got real good notices for Hot Pants
Broad.

They said I was a great performer.

Well, they weren't talking about your
acting, for Christ's sake. If I got...

feature movies.

Of course, you were being screwed by the
head of Empire Films. That's how.

I told you, baby, you should never have
walked out on that guy.

Like I said at the time, who needs him?

You for one and me for another. Who else
will give us work? Right now, I can't

even get you publicity, let alone a
goddamn movie.

Listen, why were there no photographers
when I arrived?

I always have photographers.

Sure, you always have photographers.

Don't I know?

Are you making illusions?

I ain't doing nothing. All I'm saying is
make my life a lot more easy if you

weren't always screwing with
photographers.

What good were they for you?

What good did you ever do for me and
you're supposed to be my agent?

Listen, just because I happen to like
one or two photographers, what call is

there for you to bitch?

when you get publicity.

A good agent makes publicity for his
clients.

Listen, the only things that are making
headlines over here right at this moment

are these goddamn jewel robberies. Now,
maybe if you get yourself foiled or

something, you might hit the papers.

Guido, baby, I wouldn't have believed
it, but you've come up with something.

with genuine mink all the way around.
That was only worth $5 ,411.

Miss Lorraine, could you tell us just
how it all happened?

Oh, well, it was awful. My goodness, it
was awful.

I was in the bathroom taking a bath, you
know, with lots of bubbles because they

make me suffer.

Well, suddenly, I heard this noise in
the other room, the bedroom.

Well, I thought it was my agent, you
know.

Then I remembered he said he was going
to have an early night.

I went to investigate.

Were you wearing any clothes, Miss
Lorraine? Sure I was wearing clothes. I

this bathrobe on.

Anyhow, I went into the bedroom, and my
goodness, there he was.

Well, I nearly fainted. I mean, he was
enormous.

Could you describe him again for us,
please?

Tall. Very tall.

With black hair all over, but with
ginger streaks in it, and he was going a

bald as well.

But some of the descriptions in the past
have said he was very small.

Well...

What I meant was he was very tall when
he straightened up and he had this black

mask all over and he was just, well, he
was just unbelievable.

It was just like out of that movie I did
with Tony Ann and he said so, where I

did the scene in the bath and he
suddenly came in dressed like he was

Davis and shot me up with an ice pick.

Well, I mean, you know, I don't know if
you remember this scene, but we had an

awful lot of trouble shooting it
because... Miss Lorraine, did this man

you at all?

Well, sure he threatened me. Chompy up
with an ice pick, I already told you. I

meant last night.

Oh, yeah. Well, sure, sure he threatened
me. I mean, he was enormous, this guy,

like I told you. He was maybe 190, maybe
200 pounds, and I was all on my own.

And he had a gun.

Yeah, he had a gun this night, and he
threatened me with it.

Said he'd shoot me if I didn't do
everything he asked me to. You know,

him all my jewelry.

And then... And then he raped me.

Yeah.

It was terrible. It was like a
nightmare. You've no idea.

He pointed this gun at me and forced me
to undress.

Well, you can imagine how embarrassed I
felt. I mean, it's one thing to do it

for a movie camera, and another entirely
when you're with some strange burglar

wearing a mask, you know?

Anyhow, he looked at my naked body
hungrily, and he said how I was his

movie star, and how in hot pants broad I
fitted the title perfectly.

Well, then he got this rope...

And he forced me to lie down while he
tied me up like a chicken.

He trussed my naked body up like a
chicken, and then he raped me seven

times, one for each of my movies.

Jesus.

Yeah, he'd seen every one of my movies,
wanted to know what my next one was

going to be. Well, I told him I was
still looking for the right part.

Of course, Empire Films desperately
wanted me to go back, but, well, I'm

of doing these kind of things. Sexy
parts. What I'm looking for now is

that'll stretch me.

Have you ever heard such a ridiculous
story?

Sounds more like a plot of a film to me.

Pretty lurid plot, too, wasn't it?

Seven times.

That's one hell of a rape.

It's one hell of an insurance claim
she's putting in for, too.

I don't know what I'm going to say to my
boss.

So obviously a put -up job for
publicity.

Tomorrow I'm going to go back there and
go right through that list and check out

everything she claims was stolen.

She's making use of the situation.

That press conference of hers looks like
it's due to go on the whole day.

I was thinking, if it is all a put -up
job for publicity, I wonder what the

burglar's reactions are going to be
tomorrow when he picks up the morning

and reads that he's supposed to rape one
of the screen sex symbols seven times.

How's my little Angie this morning?
World's best secretary.

Morning, Mr. Jacoby.

You're early. How come?

New chapters.

What else?

Morning, Grant. I gather you've got
quite a lot for me this morning.

How about some coffee, dear?

Seven times.

It's a good job Angie doesn't have out
your little hobby at nights. Nor yours.

It's just as well you're a good fence
because you're a lousy bloody publisher.

There's no money in books.

Unless you've got a sensation.

Now, you write your memoirs, my boy. We
can all go straight if last night's a

fair example.

Oh, don't be an idiot.

It's all a pack of bloody lies.

Oh, Grant, baby, you can tell me.

Look, I told you, I never boggled
anybody last night. I was at the theatre

Angie. You're joking.

And there was I, rushing over here,
thinking you'd have all that lovely

for me. It's all lies.

Some stupid bloody publicity stunt.

What a pity.

Reads like there's some nice stuff
there, too.

Sapphire rings, diamond necklaces.

Coffee?

Morning.

I'd like to buy a Smith & Wesson
revolver.

Forty -five caliber, heavy duty, with a
spin chamber.

Yes, sir. With percussion cap.

Uh, no, thank you. I don't want to make
a bang.

A water pistol, then?

Yes. Yes, now that would rather not be.

Who's the standard?

Who's the standard?

Cheers. I'm sorry I'm late. I got held
up in the traffic.

That's all right.

Have you, uh, have you got them?

Yeah, the one underneath, that's very
good. Yeah?

Yeah. No, no, not that one. The one
where she's... These are bloody

Roy. Listen, you can't get hold of any
in colour. I mean, try.

I mean, you may have to sit the boys out
with something. No, it's no problem.

Oh, what?

These are really good.

Christ. How did you manage that?

Jesus, just look at the sun.

Can't stay long. I'm supposed to be
keeping an eye on Miss Lorraine

Can't be bad.

Not for me. I don't fancy being the
subject of the next press conference.

You're dead right.

You hear the story about the guy who
wrote Applause writing a new musical for

her? No.

Yeah. It's called Clap.

Thank you.

Cheers Roy.

Do I seem to have been here before?

This can hardly come to you as a
surprise.

Now then, first things first.

Your jewels.

I ain't got none of it.

There's a false back on it, but there
isn't all I said there was.

I had to sell most of it before I left
the States.

Perhaps you should cast your mind back
to what happened last night.

Oh, my God!

Please, Mr. Red.

Your robe.

I don't think we'll really be needing
that.

Now for the hard part.

I'm sorry, sir.

It's gone closing time.

There you go, seven times.

She must have had a plank across his...
Where are you going?

He's one of us.

One of us.

Come on, I know this little place.

Get this.

Hold on, look.

I know, I know.

That's the same. Come on, let's go.

We can drink all night.

They're all topless here.

Bottomless, pitless, everything here.

Everything's less the price as well.
Come on, 18 of them. They're all naked

they dance.

You can have a look inside. Come on,
don't cost you anything until you get

in. Then it's a knicker and you see 18.

Here you are.

18 beautiful birds here, all naked, and
they dance.

Non -stop titillation for a knicker.
Come and have a look.

Only a knicker.

Non -stop titillation.

BOO!

Miss Lorraine, I've already heard that
story, thank you, all day yesterday and

the day before.

Well, how come when it only happened?

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Silly of me.

It's the shock. It makes me lose all
sense of time.

I guess you could call it a late
reaction, you know.

We were talking about your insurance.

I've already spoken to customs, and
according to them, the jewels you claim

stolen never entered the country.

Listen, babe.

Why don't we leave this till some other
time?

Jezebel's tired right now.

That business about the jewels, it's all
genuine stuff.

But she needs time to work and to
recover.

The way he raped me like that.

He just never stopped.

It was awful, you can't imagine.

He was so young and strong.

Call it women's intuition if you like,
but it's certainly a possible reason why

all the descriptions of the burglar
differ from one another.

Well, it's better than being a gang,
isn't it?

Well, all the victims were women,
remember?

Yeah. Okay, I'll be right over.

I was just looking for something. I left
here last night. Is it important?

Yes, it is. Listen, I want you to come
with me to see Inspector Smith.

But I'm innocent.

I didn't know what was in that envelope.
It was handed to me by a complete

stranger. Guy, I don't know what you're
talking about, but the Inspector and I

need your help.

You do?

What for?

To catch a cat.

What? A cat burglar. Come on. A cat
burglar?

All right, Judy, assuming you're right,
and all his victims deliberately lied

because he seduced them, all we can do
is to, um...

revisit the complainants and try to
wring a confession from one of them.

No?

No.

What we need is some kind of plan where
we can catch the burglar in the act.

Which act?

Guy, we'll need newspaper coverage.
That'll be your department.

As for the bait, leave that to me.

You'll come with me, Robert, all right?

Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course.

Where? It's an unusual request, but
naturally, Inspector, I'll only be too

pleased to cooperate.

Although I do suggest we take a few
special precautions.

After all, we don't want any little
mishaps, do we?

Do you have any ideas?

£6 ,000.

£50 ,000. £7 ,000. £8 ,000.

9 ,500 pounds.

9 ,500 pounds.

Wilson and Tate. And now we

come to lot 36, an emerald and diamond
necklace created in 1831

for the diamond jubilee celebration of
the crown prince of Poland, specially

made for his German mistress.

Helga von Gotterdammerung. The piece
contains 327 small emeralds, the

centerpiece being the famous 16 -carat
Waleska diamond, which was added to the

necklace in 1903.

The bidding will commence at 50 ,000
pounds.

50 ,000 pounds.

And five, 60, 70.

80, 90, 100. 100 ,000 pounds.

10, 20, 30, 40,

150 ,000 pounds. 150 ,000 pounds.

And 10, 160 ,000 pounds.

70.

80 and 5, 90

and 5.

195 ,000 pounds.

Do I hear any other bid?

195 ,000 pounds.

Can't stay long.

I've got to write up a piece about the
auction so I can make the evening

editions.

Everything run according to plan, then?

195 ,000 it ended up at.

That's not bad for a piece of paste or
glass or whatever you call it.

Do you know, I could see the
auctioneer's face getting worried as the

going up. Judy just kept bidding higher
and higher until she got it. Yeah?

Where's Judy now?

She's gone on a shopping spree hoping
the thief will follow her.

Christ, I hope she doesn't lose him and
cock up the whole case.

Which reminds me.

a couple of them.

They're not bad.

Oh.

Well.

You should be able to flog this lot off
easily enough. Yeah, well, don't lose

this hit a lot like you lost the last.

Have you been served?

Lemon tea, please.

Oh, I wouldn't mind those for breakfast,
I can tell you.

I had a friend who was a cameraman once,
and I asked him about those shots. You

know those shots when they get white?

Oh.

Anything else?

Anyway, I have no trouble getting rid of
that lot.

This Danish stuff, you know, it's really
good. I mean, it's refined.

I mean, they give a minge class, don't
they?

I wish you could remember where you left
that bloody envelope.

Look, I tried the hotel. Nobody had
handed it in.

Well, they wouldn't, would they?

I mean, supposing someone takes a look
inside and then goes straight to the

police, then what happens?

Then we'll get it back again, won't we?

As long as no one recognises it at the
yard, I'll really be in for it if that

happens.

I suppose you realize you've been parked
on a double yellow line for the past

three -quarters of an hour.

Oh, really?

I've been watching you.

I would have thought a pretty girl like
you would have had something much better

to do with it.

Right.

I'll get that thing in before it's too
late.

Then I'll see about getting rid of that
little lot.

You know, if they're good, you should
get a fair price for them.

all right?

Perfectly. Now, as long as Guy does his
part okay, we should get results, and

soon.

Judy, I'm worried.

Why?

Well, the idea of using a bait to
attract this thief is one thing, but

you alone in this house, well, that's
too much.

I mean, supposing your assumption is
correct, supposing he does fall for the

bait, and breaks in tonight, or tomorrow
after he's read about the auction.

Well, what can we lose, even if
something goes wrong?

Phony necklace that isn't worth a cent.

It wasn't the necklace I was thinking
of.

I was thinking of you.

I know I'm only an inspector at New
Scotland Yard, and my name isn't

more than plain Smith, which isn't much
to offer anybody, I must admit.

But I may be just another ordinary kind
of person, but I do get very concerned

about you, and it worries me because I
think you're just about the most

wonderful insurance investigator I've...
ever met and uh if anything happened to

you i i don't know what i'd do because i
think you're so um nice and uh well

you're a wonderful girl judy at least uh
i think you're wonderful and rape me

i beg your pardon rape me well you know
what rape is

yes it's um

Rape, yes.

Well, if you're so worried about me
being raped by this burglar, you do it.

Oh, for God's sake, Robert, will you
please rape me?

Look, I'm not very good at this sort of
thing. Robert!

You know, I was educated at the kind of
school where we didn't get much

opportunity to... get much practice
at...

I shouldn't have done that.

You should never do that to a police
officer.

Remember, we're all trained in unarmed
combat. It's a complete instinct to

anyone in the force. Well, your
instincts are a bit slow, then.

I may look mild, but when I want to be,
I can get really rough.

All right, go for me again.

I don't want to hurt you. You won't.

I might forget myself and... Look, just
go for me again, will you? Now, go for

me as if you were going to rape me.

Still worried about tonight.

By the way, didn't like to mention it at
the time, but I'm also a black belt at

karate.

You're late back.

Feeling better?

There's something wrong somewhere.

Feels wrong.

Having trouble with one of your plots?

Just tired.

Perhaps too tired.

For what?

To make an important decision.

I'll get the stimulator.

Just relax.

It was really weird this afternoon.

I was walking along when suddenly this
car hit this man carrying a suitcase as

he crossed the road.

Well, he went up in the air and so did
the suitcase.

And all the contents splattered out.

And what do you think they were?

Ladies' underwear.

No. Blue movies.

How's that?

Better.

Just relax.

Let yourself go limp.

Don't worry. I feel limp.

Why don't we go upstairs? I could
perform much better on the bed.

Oh, it's too much effort to go up the
stairs.

We'll be all right here.

Bye.

It's me, Jacoby. What the hell's going
on in there? Turn that damn thing off.

Grant, you can't stop now. Let's wait.

Let who wait? Turn it off. I can't hear
myself speaking. I can't hear myself

here.

Look, Jacoby's waiting on us. Let's fuck
him off. Jacoby, can you hang on for a

few minutes? We're just in the middle of
something. Don't be silly. You can't

stand out there while we're in the
middle of... Just a few minutes isn't

to hurt him. Angie, go and let him in.
No, you let him in. I can't. I'm not...

Well, for Christ's sake, neither can I,
not with... Look, Grant, what is going

on in there?

Let me in for God's sake.

And about time, too. What the hell do
you want?

Scotch, and I'll pour it myself. Am I
getting lost, Angie?

Charming.

The trouble with women is they're not
self -sufficient.

It's none of the ones that I've ever
met.

Yes, never mind about your sex life.

Let's talk about your business life for
a moment.

Have you read the paper?

No, it's a fever.

Now, this is Rockefeller.

Did you see that she's... I'm ahead of
you, Jacoby.

She keeps all the jewels in her safe in
a house in Kensington.

She goes to bed early and she lives
alone.

I found all this out this afternoon
after the oxen.

The necklace looks very nice. She looks
even better.

The house looks as if it's wide open
waiting for me to go in, which is what I

don't like.

I don't know, it seems too easy. It
smells wrong.

What the hell are you talking about?

Money, that's what it smells of.

get a hundred grand for the Galesa
diamond alone.

Never mind what else she's got stashed
away in that safe of hers.

Well, you read what she said in the
papers. She doesn't trust banks.

That means she's got it all there.

Oh, come on, Grant, you've got to do
her.

Look, we can all leave the country
afterwards, go away on a long vacation.

What the hell, with a hundred grand we
can all retire.

I could certainly do with a holiday.

Right, right.

And I certainly have been overdoing it
recently.

Definitely.

And it's only just after midnight.

Angie, love.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to go out.

are you two doing here?

Supposing a burglar sees you? The
inspector insisted I call round and see

you're all right.

Well, don't mind me. I'm just going to
wire a couple of speakers up in the

bedroom. So the second he touches the
combination lock on the blooming stage,

you'll be able to hear. That's if he
hasn't been frightened off already by

Told you I'd be perfectly all right on
my own, Robert.

Now, will you please stop fussing and
sending your sergeant round to check up

me?

Well, of course he looks like a
policeman. He's got those kind of feet.

If I need any help, I'll call you, all
right?

Look, it's after midnight. I don't know
what Guy's doing upstairs.

Wiring up some speakers, so you'll know.
Right, then.

We'll leave you in peace.

All finished up, though?

Yeah, don't worry.

The second anything happens, it'll start
up.

Of course, I could always disguise
myself.

I do a very good postman.

At one o 'clock in the morning...

Here.

I know that fellow from somewhere.

No one I know. And I never forget a
face.

Well, we're especially trained to
remember them, you see.

I swear I've seen him somewhere, and
recently, too.

Now, if he got big tits, I'd remember
him, even if I'd never seen him before.

Thighs, mate, that's what's best.

Great big juicy thighs and lovely
squeezy bums.

Nah, give me a pair of tits any day.
They wouldn't suit you, dear.

Great big bums.

Thighs.

Tits. Thighs.

Tits. Arses.

Tits.

Why don't you try three to the right,
two to the left, and one to the right

again?

Sorry, that's all there is in there.

Well now, Mrs. Rothfeller, where do you
keep the rest?

In your bedroom?

Oh, there's nothing up there, I assure
you. But you're welcome to have a look

while I call the police.

This looks cheap compared to your
beauty.

And you are very beautiful.

I know all about your techniques with
the ladies you burgle.

So the...

Really no need.

You needn't bother.

Just to set the record straight, my
name's Judy Marvin. I'm an insurance

investigator and this entire evening has
been an elaborate charade in order to

bait you because you've nearly cost me
my job the way you've been going on the

last few months.

And I sincerely hope that you don't
compare me to this little trinket.

It's only a bit of paste and glass run
up for the occasion.

I must read one of your books upstairs.

Oh, did you like it?

No.

Oh, now you know why I have to make my
living as a jewel thief.

Yeah, not just a jewel thief, I might
add. I think it's high time you had a

taste of your own medicine.

Bye.

Who are you calling?

Inspector Smith.

What are you talking about?

You're going to turn me in after a... Of
course. What did you expect? That I was

all weak and helpless like the others?

Look, just because you screwed me
doesn't alter the fact that you just

burgle me.

Bloody hell! And if you don't want to be
permanently damaged, you'd better shut

up.

Hello, Robert.

Yes, it's me.

I'm fine.

He's right here.

Yes, right beside me. Do you want to
word with him?

Right.

No, I told you I'm fine.

See you in a bit. Oh, by the way,
there's no need to hurry.

I've got him under control.

I estimate that should give us just
enough time.

But you better make it a good one,
because it's going to be the last you'll

for a while.

You know, Judy, you really are quite a
girl.

There's plenty to be said in your favour
as well.

God knows how long they'll put me away
for.

When I get out, how about teaming up
with me?

I mean, just think.

With my skill and your contacts, we
could make a fortune.

We'd certainly make a pretty formidable
team, I must admit.

I've got a crummy boss anyway.

How about it, then?

Is it a deal?

I'd even be willing to offer marriage if
you were willing.

And I can assure you, you're the first
girl I've ever said that to.

told them not to hurry to.

I don't want to see you again.

About six months, I should imagine.

Well, I don't suppose any of your other
victims will dare give evidence against

you, so that leaves just me.

And what can they convict you of other
than simple housebreaking?

What do you mean?

Well, you haven't stolen anything.

Nobody can prove you're the jewel thief
without evidence or witnesses.

And by the time I've heard my little
piece in court, I should think they'll

you off with a small fine.

Imagine

it.

Grant Henry, the jewel thief.

You've certainly got yourself a story
there, haven't you, Guy?

Indeed I have, Inspector.

Listen, I think I'll just whip upstairs
and dismantle the equipment.

You know, the speakers and things.

I'll leave that for a couple of my men
to do.

Say, is that bothering you? Oh, no, it's
no bother. No bother at all.

Of course, they'll still have to prove
he's the jewel thief, won't they?

I mean, it won't be so easy.

Well, that's somebody else's problem.

At least we brought him in. As far as
I'm concerned, that's all there is to

Whatever happens next, I don't care.

Looks like everything turned out rather
well, then.

There's just one question of us,

Jodie.

Sergeant Plinth, could you... Yes, sir,
did you want something?

Just make sure everything's all right
outside.

Yes, Robert.

Judy, I find you very attractive, you
know that.

Thank you, Robert.

As for the way you captured the thief,
well, I think you're just wonderful, and

I wondered if you'd be asking too much
if I were to ask you if you'd mind if I

asked you to marry me.

Of course not.

I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that.

What you said, uh...

I said, of course not.

I'm sorry, I still... I'm not quite sure
whether you... I'm not actually sure

whether you mean yes or no.

I mean, of course I don't mind you
asking me to marry you, and I'd love to

accept.

But I've just recently got myself
engaged to someone else, actually.

Very recently, in fact.

Oh.

Everything's fine out there, isn't it?

Right, well, we'll be on our way then.

If you should change your mind, or if he
should change his mind, you know,

whoever he is, then, you know, perhaps
you'd give me a call.

I'll just go and give Guy a hand
upstairs, then.

Can't wait to see what he's like.

I mean, you must have been bloody good
to keep all those women quiet.

Never mind that.

It's like the money we're going to get
flogging the prince.

I hope he kept the light on while we're
at it.