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There seems like

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there's something else I wanna say about insecurity,

what is it?

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You know, I think the biggest thing for me

about insecurity

is, I've always been very insecure,

and had these…

these problems go on in my insides,

and this tension, and this not liking myself stuff,

yet still gone ahead,

and taken a chance on making a mistake.

Most times, people stop themselves

from going for something in their life,

because they'll be in the limelight,

and what if they blow it?

Everybody's gonna laugh, or… or…

or ridicule them, or whatever.

Who cares?

I mean, you're only on this planet for so long,

you could be dead tomorrow,

go for it now, you know?

There are certain people

that fill up a television screen.

Patrick filled up a movie screen.

I mean, there's never been anybody quite like… Buddy.

By the way, I was never able to call him that.

He was always Patrick to me.

I may be the only person in the world…

Hey, "Call me Buddy,"

and I just couldn't… I just couldn't do it.

He was passionate and intense

about everything.

Everything.

He was this macho guy,

but he truly had the soul of a poet.

I think he had a beautiful balance

between strength

and softness.

His vulnerability,

and then his kind of pure strength.

He wasn't a "tough guy,"

even though he was a very tough guy.

You know, he was just this open book,

and that's, again, the best actors

are like, "Here's my heart, you want some?"

Patrick was super hungry for connection.

His heart and my heart got along really well.

He spoke to people.

He was that kind of guy.

He spoke to people.

He resonated with an audience.

He was a movie star.

He had the qualities.

He had 'em all.

My mother didn't believe

you could truly call yourself an artist

unless you were well-rounded
in every level of the arts,

and my father wanted me to be a cowboy and an athlete,

so I decided to be all of them.

He was the type of guy that, you know,

wanted to make a dance movie,

made the best dance movie.

You know?

Wanted to write his own song,

the song goes number one.

He would tell you almost immediately

all of the things that he's done.

"You were a gymnast,

and a world-class cowboy, roping guy,

and a ballet dancer?"

and… he was.

He had a level of expertise

in a lot of different areas.

I think always,

no matter how much fame you get as an actor,

you still wonder if you're good…

if you're good enough.

Acting is the first thing I've ever found

where you can never be the best,

you can never reach the end of that challenge.

I think that's real important.

Where we lived in north Houston

when I was growing up

was the city limits.

Within a few hundred yards behind our house,

we were deep into the woods.

Even though there was six years between us,

I was still, like, just the kid brother.

We were Wally and Beaver.

Sounds corny, but I swear to you,

I grew up with a superhero in my family.

I mean, he was a star, and he knew it.

You couldn't deny him

his natural charisma that he had.

We had always had dance in our lives.

Just kind of something you take for granted.

I mean, our mother was quite the diva,

and quite a well-respected teacher in Houston.

Founder of the Houston Jazz Ballet Company.

Everywhere we went, there was, "Oh, you're a Swayze?

Like, the dancer Swayze?"

Ballet boy in Texas?

Are you kidding me?

If you stand out, that's, like, a really bad thing.

Although, I have to say,

I think Patrick figured out pretty early in life

that, "You know what?

If I fit in, I'm not gonna stand out."

Started on a whole process of learning

what "walking around with a
chip on your shoulder" means.

"I'm a ballet dancer, what of it?"

My brother had his violin in one hand,

and he had his books in another,

and these boys confronted him,

and I guess he finally got fed up with it,

and apparently, he took these kids out,

and never set down his violin or his books.

He did a little sweep with his legs,

and took both of them out.

Now, thank God, by the time I got to school,

he'd kinda laid the groundwork.

I had people mumble and say, "No, I wouldn't mess with him,

the Swayzes'll kick your ass," and I'm, like, "Oh?"

You know, even though he came from

an arts-driven family,

really his mom,

they were tough people.

His dad told him, he says, "If you ever start a fight,

I'll kick your ass,

and if you never finish one, I'll kick your ass."

My dad… Jesse Wayne Swayze…

Big Buddy.

There was Big Buddy and Little Buddy.

My brother was called Little Buddy.

Big Buddy and Little Buddy.

It was Jesse, but his name was Buddy,

and it was kind of a Texas thing.

He was a sort of an easy-going cowboy.

Very funny, very sweet.

He'd had that cowboy thing

where you walk quiet and carry a big stick.

He didn't have to try hard.

He just had this easy sensuality about him,

this easy masculinity

that actually Patrick had also.

Patrick loved his mother.

She drove him a little crazy,

but she was the task master

that gave him his drive,

that gave him his work ethic.

Patsy was a force to be reckoned with.

She was a force of nature.

I took dance lessons when I was little,

and I would've been really afraid of her.

I think as a kid I always felt

that you were harder on me than everybody else.

I think you always do, you know…

and I always did feel like

I was competing for your love

with your students.

Well, I know…

but the thing is,

that I think your own…

When you're a teacher,

and your own children always think…

you know, they hear you yelling at other students,

and they don't think anything about that.

They think, "Well, that kid deserves that,"

but when you're yelling at
you, it's like, "That's my mother.

She's not supposed to make me behave."

Somebody should've made a reality show about her.

If she had lived a little bit longer

into this era,

there would've been an 11-season arc of…

of her life.

She was a character,

and just a life force.

I mean, clearly,

that's where the life force came from.

Step touch. Rock step.

Heels. Heels. Heels. Heels. Heels. Heels…

You could also just sort of sense

that she had all her…

energy fixated on him,

for better or for worse.

She actually told me at one point

that the reason why she
picked the name "Patrick Swayze"

was because she thought it
would look good on a marquee.

He said his mom always had him in pre-god school.

She trained him to be a god,

not just excellent.

Mom would introduce us.

"Honey, come meet this new girl."

She's starting class today.

And this is my son.

This is Patrick,

he's this… that… and he's like…

He's a wonderful athlete,

"and isn't he gorgeous with the…"

So, yeah, he was doing really well with the women,

and knew it.

He could walk into a… into a room,

and all the girls flirting,

but then here comes this little quiet blonde.

The first time I met Patrick,

I was involved with a children's theatre group

in Houston, Texas,

and they had joined forces

with his mom's dance school and company.

I walked by the doorway,

I kinda looked in at the dance class,

and she said, "Come on in."

I said, "Well, you know,

I don't really have the money to pay."

She goes, "That doesn't matter!"

And, actually, for, like, a full year,

she taught me free of charge.

Here comes Lisa.

Sort of shy,

and wouldn't fawn all over him like the other girls,

and I think the challenge is what just drove him nuts.

He had this kind of reputation of…

of being this Casanova,

and this egotistical guy,

and I was, like, so quiet,

you could almost make up anything about me.

You know, there was definitely a spark,

and something was happening,

and, first time Buddy and I danced together

was at a school exhibition.

We walked out on stage…

You'd kind of do your classic intro,

where you kind of gesture to each other…

And it was almost like

the whole stage filled with light.

Even though it was just,
like, school auditorium lights,

but it was almost like we were lit,

and the moment, uh… I looked in his eyes,

it was like…

just, everything came alive,

and, uh…

So…

and it was just kind of…

A kind of magic that happened,

so…

Part of it was the act of performing.

You know, people who are performers

know that wonderful magic that happens when you…

when the lights come up on you on stage,

but so much of it was what we saw in each other.

There was something about him when I looked at him.

What I saw was pure gold,

and I… I…

think, probably, he looked at me,

and he saw something else

than what other people were seeing also.

When my brother was in 12th grade,

he had a horrific accident in football.

His leg broke inward.

He completely broke his knee.

The doctor had him on the table,

and his leg would just go…

from the knee down.

He heard his mother crying in the other room.

You know, he was lying there in pain,

and she was sobbing in the other room.

He thought he heard her say, "His life is over,"

and he's 18, right?

They put him in a full-length cast

from his hip to his toes

for six months,

and then, when he got the cast off,

that leg had atrophied.

And, of course,

with every pore of his… fibre in his being,

he was gonna overcome that.

You could see something just switch, you know?

That became what drove him,

like he was going to show them
that they were wrong about him.

What had been something
we might have taken for granted

our whole life

became his everything.

He came to class every day.

Mom didn't have to trick him to come to class,

and in, like, two years,

18 to 20,

he became a world-class dancer.

Dancing still holds
a very close place in my heart,

but I ultimately had to quit,

because I had four complete knee reconstructions,

which doesn't work too well as a dancer.

You were clumsy? Or…

…landed on your knees on some of those…

Sort of.

…leaps?

First one was football,

and then, because I couldn't accept the limitation,

and went ahead and went to New York

and danced with ballet companies,

I caused four more operations.

If you know anything it's the hardest thing

anyone could ever put their bodies through,

and to do it with a crippled knee

was just, you know, extraordinary.

When he went off to New York,

I remember seeing him on stage

in Eliot Feld Ballet.

He was probably at his best at that point.

With his ballet technique, and his lines, and…

his feet were looking good.

I thought to myself,

"There's nothing more beautiful

than seeing a masculine man move with such a grace."

Buddy had that,

and, like, almost nobody else did.

You know?

Not like that.

He had star quality, and it was, like…

It was awesome.

When I went to New York to dance,

I went on scholarship,

and I was absolutely thrilled,

because I'm living the dream.

Buddy had been in New York for a couple of years,

so he goes, "Move in with me.

We're all gonna be bunking in
this one-bedroom apartment."

They were all dancers.

The moment I moved in,

two people left, like, two days later.

All of a sudden, I'm here with Buddy,

alone.

You know, I knew I…

there was this thing happening between us,

but I was there to dance.

I wasn't there to have a romantic relationship.

I guess we'd been living together

for about a year,

and we were in a tickling fight on our loofah couch,

and when he stopped, he says, "Let's do it."

"Do what?"

He says, "Let's get married."

I was just, like, absolutely in terror,

but Patrick was pretty good
at getting his way about things.

He could charm a bird out of a tree.

He certainly never gives up,

and we ended up getting married a month later.

It was a big risk, because we were both so young.

You know, we had some bumps along the way

in the beginning,

but we were definitely stronger together.

That became clear very…

very quickly.

There's a lot of pride in being a dancer,

because there's so much that's mind over matter.

He had to overcome so much pain all the time,

and he did it by mental discipline,

and Patrick was a master of that.

His years in New York as a dancer

were spent on a crippled knee,

and then when he starred as Danny Zuko

in Grease on Broadway…

It was his first professional acting role…

And all the '50s stuff,

the knee-slides across the
floor on this badly damaged knee,

he was probably smart enough to realize

that this was doing some real damage.

He did a couple commercials in New York City.

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na-na-na na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ When the sun goes down ♪

♪ And the evening rolls around ♪

♪ That's the time I find ♪

♪ Got Blue Ribbon on my mind… ♪

Bob LeMond,

he was a very powerful manager at that time,

and he said, "Listen, you know,

you could stay in New York,

but if you really wanna get work,

Los Angeles is where you need to be."

Pabst…

a lot to look forward to.

We kinda thought about it,

and we said, "Let's take that leap,"

packed up our two cats and took a flight to L.A.

I remember in the early days when he came out here,

he used to drive up to Mulholland,

and he used to look out over Hollywood

and sort of say to himself,

"I'm gonna conquer you…

I'm gonna conquer you,"

and I think that's something that probably drove him

in many areas of his life,

and yet, there was an insecurity there too.

Maybe that's why he had to keep telling himself that.

When he moved to California,

now he didn't have the dance.

He was basically starting out auditioning

like everyone else.

At that time, you know,

I needed a job bad,

and I was just looking for any way to make a…

Make a mark, you know,

to get some attention.

Such an amazing dancer

that it carried over into roller skating.

I think Skatetown, U.S.A.

was probably not the greatest movie,

but his skating is phenomenal.

Anybody that could be sexy in roller skates

had something,

because those are big clunkers on your feet,

and it's hard to be graceful, and he was.

When Patrick comes on to do the solo,

he has gum in his mouth,

and he takes it, and he flicks it…

In that moment, anybody could tell,

"Oh, my god, this guy is it."

You could tell from Skatetown, U.S.A.

that Patrick was a star.

I knew I had something special.

I didn't know how special,

but I knew it was special.

There's an energy.

There's something that happens.

There's a chemistry with the camera.

There's just something that happens

that you either have or you don't have,

and he had it so big.

I didn't expect what
happened out of Skatetown.

After I did it,

Kevin Thomas of the L.A. Times, he was saying stuff like,

"Not since John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever…"

No, not since Valentino

in The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

has there been such a display of male sexuality

"on the screen."

You don't picture yourself
as a sex symbol or anything,

so when I saw this happen, I thought, "Oh, jeez,

I'm gonna turn into a… a teen idol."

Patrick was very concerned

that he would be pigeonholed

and not taken seriously as an actor,

and he was offered a multi-picture deal

at Columbia,

which he turned down,

which, for a young guy starting out,

was kind of unheard of.

I just knew that something bad would happen,

or I would turn into a teen idol

and be a flash in the pan,

and be out of here in the next five minutes.

So I turned it all down

and buried myself back into acting classes.

You know, he could do those things

and be a flash in the pan,

and, you know, he wanted a long career,

so he was willing to wait.

We were, like, totally broke.

We had to go to our families,

and, "Can somebody loan us some money

just to get by?"

Nobody had extra cash.

I'm going, "Okay, this is what it's like

really to be broke,"

but we got carpenter jobs,

and then, finally,

we're in the middle of this job

where part of it is building a doghouse

for two German Shepherds.

I'm called to the phone, it's Buddy.

"Guess where I am?" he goes.

I said, "I don't know."

He says, "I'm at the DeLorean dealership.

I just bought a DeLorean.

Oh, by the way, I got this series."

We're, like, "Praise from heaven," you know,

that he got that,

and so, he… he started the series,

and I finished the doghouse.

He had one of the first DeLoreans ever.

With the gull-wing doors.

He loved that car so much.

In fact, he was driving on the street,

he didn't have his seatbelt on.

I'm like, "Buddy, put your seatbelt on."

You know, "What if somebody pulls out in front of you

or something?"

He goes, "If something happens to this car,

I don't wanna live."

I think it was a way of showing my father

that he's off and running.

His career's gonna take off,

and to the point where he
can buy something frivolous,

so that was the DeLorean.

His dad was so proud.

Buddy was in this TV series.

He's a big success now, right?

We'd show up and he'd go,

"What are you doing driving up in the kitchen sink?"

He called it the kitchen sink

because it was stainless steel, so…

Live the dream today.

Pleasing Mom and Dad was important to my brother.

He had Mom with the dance

and the theatre expectations,

but Dad, who had always kept us grounded,

I think it was important for my big brother

to show Dad that,

"Still grounded, Dad. Still…

Still a chip off the old block…"

and…

my father died very suddenly.

Patrick was real quiet when my father died.

He was, like, stunned.

Literally, his…

his legs collapsed from underneath him,

and he started weeping.

My big brother had always identified himself

as Little Buddy.

Big Buddy, Little Buddy.

Now that my dad was gone, he…

I don't think he knew what to do with it.

My father died of a heart attack,

and being a smoker…

And he was a beer drinker.

He wasn't bad, I wouldn't…

I don't know what you call bad,

but there was no denying

that cigarettes and alcohol were the cause.

A man 57 years old dies of a massive heart attack,

so how did we react?

You know, my older brother started drinking,

and instead of…

going the other way,

he sort of went down the path that my father went down.

He would have a few drinks himself,

start tearing ass in his DeLorean

on the windy streets of Mulholland.

He was in a really bad way,

and it was… it was dangerous with him driving,

and, you know, and of course, I…

You know, it was very upsetting for me

to see him hurting himself this way.

Everything that he had wanted to accomplish,

he didn't know if he even wanted to do it anymore,

because everything he was doing

was for… for my father.

It was like yanking the rug out from under him.

More than anything,

he wanted his dad to be proud of him,

and that was sort of

a driving force for the rest of his whole life,

and I think, probably,

he felt the responsibility

of tending to his career

balanced against the responsibility

of this void that had come up in his life

that was completely unexpected,

and how was he going to do that?

When I did The Outsiders, I was all of 14,

and everybody else was a little bit older,

and having that anchor point,

that connection with Patrick…

provided a little safety net for me at that age.

It was natural for him.

He was a natural leader.

That was so intense then.

I can't believe Tom Cruise, and Emilio, and everybody

don't hate my guts.

Probably some of them do.

But…

Because, you know, I was always just, like, driven.

I was just…

and…

You didn't join in the fun

or the camaraderie of the…?

Well, I joined in the camaraderie,

but I had to be boss.

He might have been the toughest on himself

of anybody.

He was unbelievably driven.

He just wanted to be the biggest badass on the set,

and that was his thing,

and I admire that, man, I so admire that.

Today they call it big… energy.

Because Patrick was so physical,

he's such a physical being,

he looks like such a badass in that rumble,

and we were, like,

having to take screen fighting lessons, and…

I mean, I'd never thrown a punch on screen, ever.

His work ethic,

his need to do well

was unprecedented,

and that's saying something,

because Tom Cruise was in the movie.

If you could harness the two of their intensity,

you know, we could get off of fossil fuels.

When we made The Outsiders,

we knew we were making something special,

because it was Francis.

I mean, he was the biggest director in the world

at the time.

His body of work was,

and remains,

maybe the best ever,

and he was at the height of his powers.

What we didn't know, I don't think, was how…

What it would do for our careers.

Honestly, we didn't.

I know that sounds insane,

but we really didn't.

I think we thought the movie, frankly,

would be bigger than it was,

but instead, we were bigger

than we thought it would be.

At this point,

Buddy had had quite a bit of success.

You know, both of us are Texans,

so it was always our dream to have a ranch.

The moment I started making enough money,

I bought a ranch,

and I got away from Hollywood.

As soon as he could,

he and Lisa bought five acres right on the edge of L.A.

where his back fence was butt up against

the Angeles National Forest.

It was like having a million-acre ranch.

It was just a dry piece of dirt,

some rusted auto parts,

tumbleweeds actually blowing through.

As he did movies, we made more money,

we turned it into our private little paradise.

We were able to have our horses there.

We started with corrals,

then we built a barn…

it all kind of went from there.

In a way, this is sort of, like…

This horse stuff,

even though it's for me, and Lisa too, and…

it's, you know, a bit honoring my father, you know?

How terrific.

You know, a memorial to him.

♪ I'm an old cowhand on the Rio Grande… ♪

He had a quarter horse,

Cloud,

he'd ridden and cut cattle with.

Cloud was gonna live out his days at the ranch.

He had a horse-whisperer quality about him.

There were several times

when Buddy was really upset,

maybe he had some disappointment,

and he got on Cloud,

he packed a little knapsack, got on Cloud,

and went back in the mountains,

slept overnight.

It really helped to kind of
bring him back down to earth.

Being an actor fed something in his soul.

He knew he was good at it,

but give him his preferences,

he would be at home with the horses,

working with a toolbelt around his waist,

working on the ranch, working on the earth.

He rented the bulldozer, and the backhoes,

and figured it out, almost flipped the thing.

I mean, he learned the hard way

how to move dirt.

He just came from this place of…

this grounded, dirt-moving cowboy place.

Hi, this is rock 'n' roll on Rancho Bizarro.

Patrick was a real homebody.

He liked being home.

We had everything we needed right there.

We didn't need to go anywhere.

Are you a cowgirl?

He was proud that we were more real,

and that we didn't live in Beverly Hills.

You like horses?

He says, "We chose to live on a ranch

rather than with the monkeys in the cage,"

and that's what going over the hill…

We'd call it going over the hill…

Is going over to see the monkeys in the cage.

I have to tell you,

one of my best friends has seen Dirty Dancing

I think about 20 times,

so I want you to say hello to Nancy.

-Nancy?
-Yeah.

Hi, Nancy, and thanks for seeing it so many times,

and you're the reason why it's working so well.

It's almost unheard of

for the woman to be cast before the man…

ever.

So I was cast,

and then, there was a…

There were a bunch of really good actors

who had to come and dance with me,

as part of their screen test.

I first met Patrick when we were shooting Red Dawn.

We were in New Mexico,

and I remember Lea Thompson and I

were the only girls,

and it was Tommy Howell, it was Charlie Sheen,

it was Patrick…

and Patrick was very much…

He's very alpha, as you know…

As you can maybe imagine.

They pulled this prank on me where they…

I don't know,

they had all of these fire crackers, or something,

explosions that they were doing at my door

while I was trying to sleep,

and so, when they told me they were going to cast him,

I was like, "Oh, no, not that guy,

not that guy, not that guy.

I just finished a movie with him, and he's like,

you know… ugh, god…"

It was like that,

but as soon as we started dancing together,

it was just like…

♪ I look in the mirror, and all I see… ♪

There was a… like, a feeling of…

like, an easy chair…

like a sexy easy chair,

like a really hot easy chair.

It was just like a really good ride.

♪ Living without her ♪

♪ I'd go insane ♪

♪ Feel the breath in my face ♪

He's a professional ballet dancer,

which means he knows how to connect through dance,

and he knows how to take care of the woman

in partner dancing,

because that's what you have to do

to be a great dancer as a male dancer.

The key… yeah, the key to being a good partner,

the man's function

is you bring no focus to yourself.

Your whole function is to make the woman beautiful,

make her flow, make…

make her movement ecstasy and flight, you know?

She looks good.

Looking back on the movie,

I feel like it was, and is,

a feminist movie.

This guy is a feminist.

You know, Johnny Castle is a feminist.

He comes together with me…

Not me, Baby…

And he shifts her reality.

Baby transforms from being a daddy's girl

to a woman who discovers her entire sexuality

like, in a minute,

and what happens…

That lift, it's so…

it's such an incredible metaphor

for doing the thing that you can't do,

and me as an actress,

I can't do that.

I'm too scared.

I'm too fearful of hurting myself,

and he's like, "No, you gotta do it."

When he had a role where he took care of a woman,

and he found himself

through that love of a woman,

it's a universal desire that appeals to women,

and he was so good at it,

and you knew that he would take care of you.

After Dirty Dancing came out,

we got the full extent of what was going on.

They waited for hours

just to catch a glimpse of him,

fanatical fans swayed by Swayze.

What makes this man so special?

His body.

What's his body like?

Hot!

What do you think of how he looks?

He looks pretty good to me.

He looks pretty good, yes.

Dirty Dancing has already grossed

more than $50 million,

and the movie is now being released

on video cassette.

Some people have seen it a hundred times.

25,000 copies of your poster
were sold out immediately.

You couldn't even go see the film, I understand.

No.

I almost don't even know how to sort it all out,

or even maybe don't even want to,

just sort of wanna leave it alone

and just move on with my life,

and keep trying to do good work.

Grind to the left.

Grind to the right.

We're all dirty dancing tonight,

in one lesson.

… Patrick Swayze.

Barbara Walters was going to come out to the ranch,

and he was thrilled to be interviewed by her,

because she was…

You know, she's… she was a wonderful interviewer,

but he said to me,

"What should I expect?"

I said, "Expect her to ask you an off-the-wall question"

that will make you cry,

but she didn't ask it for a really long time,

so he got really comfortable.

Your father died in 1982.

This wasn't just something

that you could accept.

Uh, I… I just…

I-I loved that man.

His love for his father was all over his face

in that moment.

I made it after my father died

my passion…

The…

that I was gonna make that man proud of me till I die.

Everything he wanted for me.

Everything he dreamed about.

The moment Patrick became a star

was when he did the Barbara Walters show.

Not when he did Dirty Dancing.

That's when my phone rang off the hook,

and people all wanted to talk to him, to meet him.

I think people loved him on that show…

On the Barbara Walters show,

because he was a good-looking,

athletic guy

who cried.

There are guys that don't cry…

and they love him.

They love him,

because you know what, there's that…

There's that guy inside all of them.

I always had the dream

that I'd buy a ranch,

and, uh, he'd run it.

You know?

There are times with people

where you just know,

for sure,

that people are going to love them.

Which is what a star is, right?

You know, he'd just come off Dirty Dancing

where he was this romantic guy.

He wanted to flip that on its tail.

Escort this gentleman to the door.

Come on.

Dalton in Road House

was like a dream come true for him.

For a Texas boy, go and kick ass in a movie?

I could only imagine

a bunch of guys sit in an audience,

when they see these things,

going, "I would love to do that."

When Road House happened,

it just kinda…

"Hey, we're gonna do a movie,

and there's gonna be a lot of fighting.

You want to?"

"Oh, yeah."

I'd always been involved, since a young age,

training, fighting, understanding the discipline.

Of course, when I was in the military, I fought.

I was heavyweight kickboxing champ in NATO.

He respected me, he knew what I did.

I knew the man studied martial arts,

but I also knew he was…

and I mean no disrespect here…

he was a ballet dancer.

It was like

this unwritten word that was said.

I don't want to be his friend.

He doesn't want to be my friend.

It was a feeling,

if anything.

It's just something I felt coming off of him.

I felt this,

and it was interesting,

and the first night of communication

was the first night of the fight.

Until then, not one word had been said.

They hollered, "Action!"

and he throws a kick, and he just barely touched me.

When he got back, got in his stance, I…

I just dusted off my shirt.

I said, "If that's the best kick you've got,

this is gonna be a lousy fight."

"Action!"

He hit me like a freight train.

I went off my feet,

my butt hit… skipped on the ground,

went about 10 to 12 feet,

just like bump, bump!

I said, "Now, that's a kick."

He said, "You like this, don't you?"

and I says, "No… I love this."

He said, "Good."

He said, "What do you say

we don't cheat the audience for one time?"

From that point on, we just went at it.

That thing about him being a ballet dancer

that I mentioned earlier

went right out the window.

Prepare to die.

You are such an…

He did this spinning kick.

It caught me square,

and it kinda cracked my eye socket open,

so you see blood on my eye right here,

and it's real.

He said, "Oh, man, I didn't mean to do that,

I just… the foot got a little high."

"Okay, fine."

When he grabbed me by the hair,

I picked up the log,

I busted it right across his ribs.

It's not in the script.

It was a log that was laying on the ground there.

You can hear it, because he goes…

Like this,

and, of course, I didn't know he'd cracked two of his ribs,

but he didn't stop.

He did not stop, you know?

We got up and continued the scene.

Then when they cut, he comes over…

You know, just typical Buddy…

He reaches over…

reaches up,

grabs me around the neck with both hands,

puts his forehead next to mine, and said, "Are we even?"

I said, "We're even, man."

He said, "Good, just wanna make sure."

He just rolled his head.

He said, "You got one more?"

and I did exactly the same thing.

I just leaned in and said, "Yeah, I got one more."

Kissed me right on the neck.

He said, "Let's go get 'em, brother."

We did one more.

It didn't matter how black and blue we were

or how tired we were.

I looked at this man, I said, "I love you, man."

He said, "I love you too."

I fell in love with a guy

that wasn't afraid that he could take it.

I fell in love with a guy

that had such passion for what he wanted to do

that it meant that much,

which allowed me to have it mean that much to me.

I'm gonna kill you the old-fashioned way.

When you try to describe Road House,

it doesn't make any sense at all.

It sounds like you just threw a bunch of stuff

into a Cuisinart,

and then just turned it on,

and then whatever…

You know, whatever happens, happens,

and that's what the movie is,

something for everyone.

-Hi.
-Hi.

It wasn't like we didn't know we were making

this drive-in movie,

or as some people say,

"The best worst movie of all time,"

or whatever it was.

We all were in on the joke,

but…

but Patrick never winked at it, ever.

Do you enjoy pain?

Pain don't hurt.

I took my cue from him,

because I thought, yeah, if I am too cool for school,

and I'm, like, kinda…

you know, laughing at this whole thing,

it's never going to work,

and it's never going to be that thing

that people will love.

Do you ever win a fight?

Nobody ever wins a fight.

Doc and Dalton, it just worked.

I don't know, it was one of those things

where alchemy is part of it too.

It's just two actors

who had some chemistry together as well,

but I think even if we hadn't,

Patrick would've found some way to connect with me

as an actor,

and as a person that was…

He charmed everyone.

He'd find a way in,

and make you just fall in love with him.

I oughta stop tellin' you what to do.

Maybe I oughta kick your ass.

Road House was such a…

Kind of a… show in some ways, you know?

In a most positive sense,

but there's a clear line there

where you're going to get at the truth,

and you're going to commit to it,

and that's what Patrick did,

he committed to it,

he committed to the truth of it,

to the truth of that character.

That draws the audience in.

That makes the audience part of it.

That makes the audience buy into it.

You can leave any time you want to.

Oh… kid.

I got very close to Patrick

during the production of that thing.

I think there was a brother relationship there,

and I think there might even have been

a father-son relationship there,

and I felt that with Patrick,

off-camera as well as on-camera.

I love you, mijo.

We told each other we loved each other

more than once, you know,

which is kind of a common phrase, I guess,

these days,

but I think when you mean it, you mean it,

and when you know it, you know it.

It was so hard to get Patrick to read scripts.

I've always wondered about that, why…

why he wouldn't read,

and sometimes I think when you have success,

you don't want to make a mistake.

When Ghost came in,

I said to him, "You have to read it.

You have to…"

and he said, "What's it about?"

I said, "I'm not going to tell you."

Finally, after about two months,

he sat down, he didn't get up.

I was sitting in the bedroom,

and he walked in, and he had tears in his eyes,

and he says, "I have to do this movie."

So he was pitched

to the director and the producers,

and they're like "Uh…"

so they talked them into doing a screening

of Road House.

Movie finishes, Jerry Zucker stands up…

The director…

And announces to everyone,

"No way on God's green Earth

will Patrick Swayze ever do this movie."

I must have made 50 calls

so that they would at least meet him for Ghost.

Patrick was frustrated sometimes,

because people did not take him seriously,

which was what he wanted more than anything.

Patrick manages to get a reading.

They read practically the whole script.

They got to the final scene,

everybody in the office is crying.

He has tears…

The casting director reading with him is crying.

You know, and he just got 'em.

He just got 'em,

and that was it, he got the part.

Pretty much every part that he really wanted,

he had to really fight for.

Whenever anything good in my life happens,

I'm just afraid I'm gonna lose it.

I love you.

I really love you.

Ditto.

When I think of Patrick,

I think of gentility.

He was just this kind of very sweet,

kind of like a regular guy,

and I'm, like, "You know",

people, they're going kind of crazy.

I'm not, like, exactly…

Like, what is, like, that "whoo…"

and then we had a scene where he took his shirt off…

and I was like, "Oh, okay, got it.

Got the…"

Like, "I'm connecting all the dots now."

This kind of quiet,

almost very, you know, mild-mannered person,

like, it's the contradiction

of this extremely dynamic,

physical person.

You know, it was a really interesting part

of, I think, who… who he is.

I do remember a great need

to work extremely hard

to counter the perception

of him being, you know,

like, a hunky guy,

or… you know, just to his physicality.

It's almost like he…

A feeling that to be taken seriously,

that he really needed to work harder.

It was kind of just getting in there hands on, and…

Obviously, in one of our most well-known scenes,

it was for real, literally hands on.

What are you doing?

I couldn't sleep.

With the pottery scene,

I think that there's, you know,

something within his dance background

that I think also gave him a particular perception

in how to approach that,

that it had a sense of a dance, in a way, to it.

Oh, no…

I hope it wasn't a masterpiece.

The movement of it was, uh,

so erotic and beautiful,

and probably more than they imagined

even with what was written on the page.

I can definitely say that, you know,

his appreciation

and his openness

was wonderful attributes to have in a partner.

This story, in particular,

really required a depth of vulnerability,

I know certainly for me,

and I think for Patrick,

that without that being believable,

I don't know if the movie would have worked.

I think Ghost is his best movie.

I think it's his best movie.

Patrick was able to use

what was really special to him…

maybe other than Dirty Dancing,

which is another one

which I can't imagine anybody else doing.

Seeing that sort of, like, rough guy

give that big…

Dude, that speech he gives to her at the end,

are you kidding me?

You kidding me?

That's one of those things
that you can pull up on YouTube,

having never even seen the movie,

and pull that up and watch that,

and it's just…

I love you, Molly.

I've always loved you.

Ditto.

He had something about him

that was very… rugged,

somebody who is not afraid to get their hands dirty,

but that also had that beautiful, gentle,

you know, sensuous ability to move

and to touch.

To have the ability to be a true man's man,

and also have that appeal to women,

is kind of rare.

When someone walks in a
room, and everybody looks at you,

people think you're handsome,

you kind of know you have something going for you,

but did he think he was going to be

the Sexiest Man in the World

on the cover of People magazine?

No.

I don't think he did.

Patrick is so misunderstood

in the fact that people say he's this sexy guy.

Patrick is one great big, huge heart.

That's what Patrick Swayze is.

It's funny, because when you're with a person,

you don't think about them as being attractive.

It kinda goes away,

because you're just seeing the person.

Every once in a while,

I'd look over, and I'd go,

"Oh, he's really good-looking."

He had such a unique combination.

First of all, he had a great mullet.

He loved his hair.

As you may know, he loved his hair.

Getting out of the house,

he took more time getting ready than me, okay?

That's… that's saying something.

His jeans had to be just right.

On movies, he'd have a new pair of jeans,

and the waist had to be perfect,

and they altered his jeans for him.

There's some advantages

to being so good-looking, for sure, so…

and he wasn't complaining about that.

Mr. Photography.

In retrospect, I look back,

and he took a lot of time.

He… he was a full-time job.

He needed a lot.

You wanna talk about a movie star?

So, this is my sister, Lisa,

and this is Patrick,

and we were taking photos this day, right?

The photographer sends her the picture,

so she frames it

and puts it on her desk at work…

and people go, "That's so cool

that when you went to visit your sister in Hollywood

that you got to take a picture

with a cut-out of Patrick Swayze,"

'cause he's so beautiful and perfect, right?

Like, that's how he looked.

Hey! -

Put me down.

Uh, we know each other.

Bodhi was a tough one,

because he'd not played a villain before.

And he wasn't sure how that would go with his fans.

Who's the guy? You replacing me?

Bodhi and Patrick both led with their heart,

with what they want the world to be,

not what the world is,

but what they want it to be.

This was never about money for us.

It was about us against the system,

that system that kills the human spirit.

We stand for something.

To those dead souls inching along the freeways

in their metal coffins,

we show them

that the human spirit is still alive.

You get to a point in your life, you realize,

"I create the world.

I create it.

So it is what I want it to be."

Have you skydived before this?

No.

My little brother's on a four-man competition team,

and he's been trying to get me to do it for a while,

and I hadn't had a chance, so the movie came up,

and gave me an excuse to start jumping out of perfect…

Perfectly good airplanes.

I had over a thousand skydives
when he booked Point Break,

and we were doing practice jumps.

He just loved it.

He went every morning before work.

Every single morning.

Can you imagine?

You have to get up at 4:00 in the morning

to go do that.

I knew that the studios would have a stroke

if they actually knew what he was doing.

That made me nervous.

The studio head sent him a letter…

"Cease and Desist."

The lawyers had stopped him from skydiving.

I was the one that had to deal with it,

but you know, the less I knew, the better off I was.

He was just so taken with something being real,

and authentic,

that he put himself in precarious situations.

My brother had them promise

that at the end of principal photography,

when he's done with his obligations,

dialogue, so forth,

"I wanna go back, get the King Air,"

and he went back

and duplicated all the scenes

that Jake Lombard had shot

and replaced them with the actor,

and that's never done.

You never replace stunt scenes filmed, in the can.

"Let's come back and reshoot 'em with the actor."

"Oh, my god, this is better."

That's him coming out of a plane,

and it's in the movie.

Why? Because it mattered.

Other people will sit there and say,

"I got a guy who did it, he did a beautiful job."

That's not good enough.

Would everybody do that?

Not a chance in hell.

Adios, amigo!

Before Tom Cruise was jumping out of his… HALO jumps,

Patrick was doing it in Point Break,

and for my money, it's a better shot,

and if you don't think Tom hasn't remembered

all these years

that Patrick did it,

then you are mistaken,

and you do not know who you're dealing with,

from one Outsider to another.

I would say

Patrick was probably one of

the top… top guys

that all the stuntmen knew

that he could do anything,

that he was an athlete

that was capable of doing
whatever they wanted him to do,

and, for him, it wasn't about ego.

He liked doing it.

When you do the kind of stuff

he did in films,

you pay the price.

You pay a price for it.

He was willing to pay the price

to do what he could do.

I often wondered

how he could put himself through what he did.

He had to be in a lot of physical pain.

Even back when we were doing Road House,

he was already living with extreme pain.

Because of his propensity for doing his own stunts,

we used to roll into town,

and I would always make sure
that I had the telephone number

of the best orthopedic specialist in the town

wherever we went.

He would never be denied,

and he would do it,

no matter what the stakes.

You know, whether he had shoes on, or a shirt,

or whatever,

he was going to do it.

That was part of the code,

that was part of being a man,

that was part of doing your job.

He would've made a great stuntman…

with a cut in pay.

I revaluated my career

out of… out of internal need

as opposed to career need,

because, like, you're right,

after Ghost, I had tons and tons of offers coming in,

and all different kinds of films,

but I was having a very difficult time

finding anything that matched up

with what my insides were telling me to do.

When Patrick got City of Joy,

he was really happy,

because it had a prestigious director,

Roland Joffé.

It wasn't based on his look,

it was based on acting.

That was a really big deal,

to get that instead of another action movie.

I'm just very excited that I got…

I got the chance to get to this place

and get to this level of movie.

It's sort of like

"life after sex symbol," you know?

I first met Patrick,

he came to my office at the time.

The staff was in a pitch of excitement,

particularly the female staff.

What walked through the door

was this immensely likable

sort of…

well, sort of surf bum, really,

but with an extraordinarily open kind of curiosity.

I mean, very quickly,

I forgot I was talking to Patrick Swayze,

and I felt I was talking to somebody

who really, really wanted to know what…

what did this story mean?

There were aspects of Patrick
which I felt in that meeting.

This was somebody searching for a way of escaping

being what everybody was telling him he wanted to be,

and that became a theme,

and he was struggling to find the "him" inside that.

He was one of these actors also

that brought his work home with him.

He lived in it.

He would have a hard time dropping the role

after he left the set,

which was really tough on him.

The thing with City of Joy that broke my heart

was it wasn't received in the United States

the way he thought it was going to be,

and he was incredibly disappointed.

Hollywood, as a whole,

saw him as a bonafide star who could make money,

but I think that they, to some degree,

still wanted him to be that guy…

you know, The Sexiest Man Alive.

I don't know that they wanted him to be The Actor.

He wanted to be The Actor.

You don't decide what the world thinks of you,

or sees in you,

or the place that the world puts you in.

Even if you, in your heart, have this other…

"I'm an artist," you know?

"I'm a seeker.

I'm kind of like a hippie… by way of the rodeo,"

or whatever, you know?

That's the piece

that was always missing for him, I think,

that acceptance as an artist.

Being the star and being a character, it was…

it would've been a better place for him to move,

and I remember talking to him about that,

and that he didn't feel

that that was gonna be a choice that he could make,

that it would be made for him,

that he wasn't looked at as "an actor" like that,

but he was looked at as a movie star,

and movie stars don't always get to do those parts,

and he was absolutely right.

I think when you're carrying the big ball,

that, you know, it's a lot different game.

I'm happy to hold the horses, so to speak.

You know?

When he filmed Red Dawn back in the day,

he fell in love with the mountains of New Mexico,

and he vowed to come back someday.

I don't think he knew

that he was gonna come back and buy the mountain,

but he did.

I think he thought

that that's where he would retire.

You know, eventually,

when he walked away from the movie business,

that's what would have brought him solace.

He's got that ball in his mouth!

I think that was his birthright somehow.

He loved the outdoor.

He had a lasso, he had a rope.

He had all the equipment.

He had…

I think he had a tent.

He loved all that.

At one point, he said, "You know what?"

He says, "You know what?

I think I'm a cowboy."

You know, "I think…

I think that's who I really am."

I think being a cowboy speaks to a lot of us.

It's that "man alone."

It's that "man in nature," you know?

It's "man against the elements."

"Man against himself," in some ways,

which clearly…

maybe it spoke to Patrick.

Buddy's connection to the New Mexico ranch

fulfilled a dream of his father's,

which would become the oldest son's dream as well.

Living off the land.

Producing something from the land.

What people didn't often see

was the quiet side of my brother.

The cowboy who didn't need accolades.

Didn't need the attention.

He was more that

than he was anything anyone
saw on the Hollywood side.

I don't think he was happiest when he was…

when he was having to deal
with the Hollywood machine,

and, you know, he shied away
from most parties and stuff,

and there were times I would say to him,

"I'm sorry, but you've got to go to this."

You can't just go to work and then retreat.

You can't.

Your fans need to see you

"if you're going to remain popular."

When you're chopping wood

and carrying water,

there's a connection

to the earth that you have

that's not quite there

when you're standing in line in Starbucks,

and I think he knew that,

and he wanted to be connected.

I think that if he could figure out a way

to pay his bills,

he would sit in New Mexico and be a cowboy.

Patrick very much wanted to be a father,

I think because he wanted to
be as good a father to his child

as his dad had been to him.

You could tell he would've been a great dad.

Just as an uncle, you could just see it.

You could just see what an amazing dad he would be.

Sit right there.

Okay, blow it out.

Clap your hands, clap your hands…

Make a wish and blow it out.

What was that?

I'm gonna get ya.

Both of us loved kids

and always intended to have kids,

and I did become pregnant,

but I had a miscarriage,

and that was very…

who knew

that miscarriages were as painful as they are…

Emotionally painful,

and, uh…

you know, it was very heartbreaking.

He would've never wanted Lisa to feel bad

for having miscarriages,

but it crushed him.

So they tried.

I had been seeing acupuncturists

for a long time,

and then all of a sudden, I was too old.

I probably should have been better informed

about how to go about it,

but anyway, I may have wasted some time,

but, you know, I said, you know,

"How would you feel about adopting?" you know?

He, uh, got very teary-eyed,

and, you know, he…

he said, "I wanna have children with you," so…

When he and Lisa lost that baby,

it was crushing.

He would've been a great dad.

He was Daddy to all the animals on the ranch.

You know, those were like our kids.

There was a lot of love to give,

and it's wonderful to have…

all these wonderful little beings around

to give it to,

so that's where it went.

The role that Lisa played for Buddy

was very important.

She certainly pushed him

to not be frightened of looking into himself.

She was a very creative force for him, I think.

They were amazingly bonded.

I mean, beautifully bonded,

and he loved that relationship.

This was two human beings

who really, really shared a profound depth

about who they both were,

and you could feel that.

I think inside Buddy,

there always was a kind of lonely core.

I think there really was.

I think very, very few people knew

just how deep that was.

I'm sure Lisa did,

and I think Lisa helped fill that,

and I think some of his closest friends did,

and I think they knew that they helped fill that,

but fundamentally inside Buddy…

there was an innate loneliness,

and I think that's where his art came from.

Oh, please…

I guess it's all on account of what you really are.

Because Bobby Ray told me what you really are.

He did?

Yeah.

You're a career girl.

Oh, yes.

I wanted to play that part.

I shaved my legs for that part…

Ready or not, here comes Mama.

I got a Azzedine Alaïa skirt for that part.

I got a Jane Fonda China Syndrome-era red wig.

I stopped traffic

walking down the street

in front of the audition place in New York City.

Literally…

"People have been saying I'm feminine and pretty…

pretty boy.

This is a lock.

This is a lock for me!"

Didn't get the part.

Swayze gets the part.

That was the one time I was probably like…

"Damn him."

Over 30 actors read for that role,

but they couldn't "be" a woman.

Patrick, because of his dance training,

he could actually put on the clothes,

and he could become that person.

Okay, here we go, please.

Stand by!

I remember watching Patrick

and thinking, "Man…

that guy is so good, so good."

You know, it's one thing playing the macho man,

doing all the stuff,

but when you get to look deep

and see something… gentler,

for lack of a better word,

something at the heart of the man,

then there's a great value there.

And I will say,

"My name is Miss Vida Boheme…"

Go ahead, girl.

"…and your approval is not needed."

That's right,

approval neither desired nor required.

"But I will take your acceptance."

All right.

Me too. Me too.

Well, everybody can see you tonight

across the country in To Wong Foo.

Best of luck to you. -Thank you.

I thought it was great, and Gene Siskel says

you're probably going to get

an Oscar nomination out of this.

I don't like to hear that.

I know you don't want to hear it,

but it should… pump yourself up.

It does feel good.

The acknowledgement is nice.

Good to see you. -Thanks. -Good luck.

Buddy often is described

as having this sunny disposition.

You know, he'd be out there

and he'd be bubbly, and fun,

and this and that, and da, da, da, da…

And then he…

as soon as he's by himself and alone,

he would just crash.

I have these demons that run around in my insides.

I've done everything in the world

thinking I'm gonna get rid of them

and some day I'm going to have "happy,"

and the shortness of breath will go away, and…

and I don't know if it ever will.

I remember I did some reading,

and I came up with this thing
called "Bipolar II disorder,"

and I talked to my brother Patrick about it,

and we both agreed, "Wow, that sounds just like us."

I've given up on "happy"…

but I'm happy, you know, I'm-I'm…

There are a lot of people

who have alcohol problems

that actually have some emotional

and mental problems going on with them,

and they use the alcohol to mask it.

Patrick would have problems with alcohol off and on.

He'd… he'd go through long periods

where it would get really, really bad,

and then he would, you know, kinda white-knuckle it

and get sober,

and not drink for a while,

and then…

start sliding down the slope again.

We could always take this out later, right?

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Well, you know, it…

You know, he didn't stop drinking,

and, uh, it was…

It was bad,

and I know I write in the book, you know,

that, uh…

that I had moved out for a year, you know,

because it got to a point

where I was, like, you know, "Someone's gonna die here.

It's either gonna be him, or it's gonna be me."

I don't think I ever said,

"Why are you drinking?"

It would've been a stupid question.

I would have said, "I wish you weren't drinking.

I wish you would go to rehab.

I wish you would get healthy.

I wish you would be the star that you were meant to be."

I was still over there every day,

you know,

and I still loved him,

you know…

and, uh…

But it was…

You know, it's very hard

to watch someone destroy themselves,

you know?

Anybody who's lived with someone

who has a terrible problem like that,

it's unbelievably painful,

and I would cry every day.

I would cry every day,

and I'd pull onto the ranch,

and I'd have to stop the car and cry

before I walked in the house,

and, you know, I'd smell his breath,

and it would wake me up, and I'd start crying,

and I think I sat almost half the night

on the steps of the dance studio crying.

You know, and I…

you know, it was horrible, though,

because you're, like…

to stay was killing me,

but to leave would've killed me too,

you know?

That was a very…

That was really a low point, you know?

It was a low point.

We had a therapist come in.

She addressed our relationship,

and about loving each other, and…

and there was something in what she said

that, uh, Buddy looked over at me…

and he…

it's like he, for the first time in years, he saw me,

and I know he saw how much I loved him.

I saw in his eyes

he wished that all the bad stuff would go away.

That's what he wanted.

We recognized each other again,

and what we had always seen in each other.

We had so many challenging things to deal with,

but underneath, we're still the same people,

and things went from horrible

to the best they've ever been.

No, seriously.

Miraculous…

miraculous turnaround,

and we were the happiest we had ever been.

It's like we finally gained the wisdom to…

have what we wanted,

and know how to have it,

and I have to say,

I was really appreciative

that that change had come

before he found out he was sick,

because if I'd stayed with him…

if things were bad,

and I stayed with him after he found out,

he would've thought that I was pitying him,

and…

whereas, uh…

when he went to face that cancer,

he knew, you know,

I was there because I loved him that much.

Some tough news this morning

about actor Patrick Swayze,

a much-loved actor,

star of the hit films Dirty Dancing and Ghost.

He has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

His representative says
he is continuing with his life,

continuing with his work,

and his optimism.

I was in his kitchen,

and there was a speaker phone,

and the doctor,

with no beside manner at all,

he just spit it out.

"Your cancer has indeed metastasized.

It's in your liver and in your lungs,"

and he just kinda clenched his jaw,

and then he left the room for a second,

and then he came back in

in, like, 30 seconds.

I mean, he went out, and had a little moment,

then came back in.

Even though he supposedly had the cancer

that no-one's gonna recover from,

I said to him, I said…

"Okay, five percent.

I've seen you be in the top five percent

in everything you've ever done.

Why not now?"

He goes, "Damn right."

He was just so physical, you know?

When you're a master of your body physically,

I think you think

you are larger than any disease,

or any emotional problem

or mental problem.

So when it hit him, it hit me hard,

you know, it really…

really hit me hard.

You know, he always played heroes in his movies.

You know, the cape and the sword

and the horse,

and…

but he showed himself to be a really…

really truly a hero.

I just saw the most incredible man.

It was the best of himself that I saw.

And, Patrick, straight ahead please, sir!

Some of us were thinking,

"It's time to go buy an island somewhere, big brother,

and just do whatever you want,"

but no, he goes to Chicago,

where it was six below, in the dead of winter,

and he does this series about a FBI agent.

Hey! Those things will kill you.

Don't just stand there.

Pop the trunk.

It wasn't denial.

It takes me back to when he said,

"I don't know how to die.

I'm just gonna live until I stop."

When I heard

that he was going to continue working,

I thought, "If anything is gonna help this guy",

or maybe even save him, with the help from medicine,

it's to continue doing the thing that he…

that he does,

"which is, you know, work."

He was gonna fight it. He was…

And it's what he did.

It's what he loved to do.

You know, he was an artist.

He was a performer.

He wanted to keep going.

He didn't wanna give it up.

He wanted to try to do something better.

Maybe he was trying to do something better, you know,

before it was done.

Talk about tough.

Fighting pancreatic cancer,

working 14-16-hour days,

getting chemo on the weekends.

You know, the greatest word you could say to Buddy is

"You can't do it."

Because the second you say, "You can't do it."

"I will not be denied the ability,

or the opportunity,

or the chance to meet, dance,

ride, jump, climb…

bring together…

give to people.

I will not be denied that opportunity.

"No one will deny me that opportunity."

Giving of himself,

and his heart, and his passion

was paramount.

I mean, just absolutely paramount.

He was great in The Beast.

Whenever an actor is wearing on them

their own struggles,

it's unbelievably compelling.

I don't wish those kind of struggles on people,

and at the end of the day,

it's not worth it just to give a good performance,

but that said,

it was so clear what was going on,

and it just made him riveting.

This was just courage.

This was raw courage

of somebody who knew they were going to die,

but wasn't making an issue of it, in a strange way.

It was coming down for breakfast.

It was living his life as much as possible.

I just got the feeling

that part of him had found
a spiritual home somewhere

and wasn't frightened,

and that sounded very much to me like the real Buddy,

the real Patrick Swayze.

He was offered this protocol

where they're taking 120 people

and trying out a new med.

I think he really believed he could be in that top…

top five percent.

There was an interview where he was at LAX,

I think he was going to Chicago to work,

and he told someone,

he said, "I'm a miracle, dude."

I'm a miracle, dude.

Yeah?

I don't know why.

And I saw it, and I said, "He believes it."

You know?

And then, when I saw him three months later,

and he had dropped 50 pounds in Chicago,

it was evident that, uh,

the miracle was starting to fail us…

…and he saw me through the crowd,

and he stopped shooting everything to run to me,

and we embraced,

and I'll never forget hugging him, and…

oh, god, just, it was like he collapsed in.

My brother, he was my big brother,

But he finished the series.

Actually, the last episode of the series, I directed.

In spite of being ill,

he moved mountains to try and be on the set for me,

and…

He was so supportive.

He really wanted that for me,

and, of course, it was important to me,

because it felt like,

yeah, if I did lose him,

that it showed me I could still have a life,

you know?

He did everything

to be there for me during that time, and…

and I really knew

that he was trying to give me a gift,

which he did.

And now, please welcome Patrick Swayze.

This was an important event,

and he flew back from The Beast

to shoot it in L.A.

and walked on stage,

he got a standing ovation.

I keep dreaming of a future…

a future with a long and healthy life,

a life not lived in the shadow of cancer,

but in the light.

I dream that everyone diagnosed

will be fortunate enough to have hope,

that every human being lost to cancer isn't gone,

but is standing here with us tonight.

Together, we can make the world

where cancer no longer means living with fear,

without hope, or worse.

Tonight, I stand here,

another individual living with cancer,

who asks that we not wait any longer,

and I ask only one thing of you:

will you stand up with me?

Will you stand up to cancer?

So we'll be right over there waiting for your call.

The phone lines flooded immediately,

so it was really good that he did that.

We had heard that from that,

he had inspired people all over,

and then you'd read that so-and-so is rallying,

and this, and that,

so I think…

I think it encouraged a lot of people,

but unfortunately,

if you know anything about pancreatic cancer,

it just, it didn't…

it didn't take… it didn't…

it didn't last long.

When we knew it was getting to the end, I said,

"Let's just hit it with everything we've got,

and on Monday, if he hasn't improved, then…

then we'll stop,"

and he hadn't improved, and so…

"We need to go home.

You know, I think he would want to be home,"

and somehow, we managed to get him there.

He was not cognizant.

You know, and that was the buildup of…

buildup of the toxins in his body at that point,

and, uh…

our security guy was afraid
he wouldn't even make it home.

I said, "No, he's…"

I knew in my gut he was gonna make it home.

It was really happening,

because there's part of me…

you know, you just wanna believe

that he's gonna wake up tomorrow,

or a cure is gonna pop up, but…

It was clear to me that when he left his body,

he had completely used it up,

and it was…

worthless to him.

It was not serving him anymore…

and after he died, I had…

there were some beautiful white roses,

and I put this white rose on his chest,

a beautiful, perfect white rose,

and there was this amulet that he loved

from kind of…

it's all these coral beads,

and then this bead is stuffed with this big crystal,

and he thought it was this very tribal, magical thing,

and I hung that on the bed above his head,

and, uh…

and the… our… our guy who took care of our horses

brought Roh,

this blinding, silvery-white stallion.

I was in the bedroom,

and you couldn't help but
see this huge, white stallion,

and then Lucio, the ranch foreman,

was leading him,

and he had the horse do a bow.

He did a bow,

sort of… a last bow to my brother.

I think it was beautiful.

…pull away from Buddy.

The world was a great place with him.

It's a…

and it's a better place having had him…

and he is missed every day.

For me, it was like a light went out.

He was such a bright light,

but you know what, again, if you take the love with you,

then he knows how I feel.

Who he'll be for us is still sort of gelling.

I don't feel that we've decided yet,

because I think we have decided

that we underestimated him.

I don't think he really knew

that people cared for him as much as they did.

I don't know how he couldn't,

because everybody was, you know, "Buddy, hey!"

You know?

It was sad to see someone so full of life

go so early.

I think his sweetness really did carry over

with everyone that had an opportunity

to work with him.

He was a gentleman.

That's not just the word, you know what I mean?

It speaks of his heart.

It speaks of his integrity.

It speaks of his honesty.

What you saw in his films

is really who he is.

So when you watch a Patrick Swayze movie,

you know that's really Patrick Swayze,

'cause it's just how he worked,

and it…

it was contagious.

What he accomplished in his life

with the part of our consciousness

that he occupied…

very, very, very,

very, very few people get to accomplish.

I can't think of anybody today

that comes close to ticking all of the boxes

that he did.

What do you want them

to know about you?

That I'm a good actor.

That I'm someone to be reckoned with.

That I can give people something through my work

that they see…

you know, they make their lives lighter for a moment,

or inspired,

or passionate about who they are,

and feeling good about themselves…

and I can definitely swing my butt.